The Ramsey Show - App - When You Work as a Team, You Win as a Team (Hour 2)

Episode Date: December 25, 2019

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is done, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Tammy is in New Hampshire. Merry Christmas to you, Tammy.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Thank you. Merry Christmas to you as well. How can I help? My husband and I started your zero-based budget last month, so beginning November. So really this is our second month and we need to know how to budget spending and money that we've already saved for things like we've got a new roof we're getting on our house this month and our property taxes are due this month and all but two hundred dollars of this money was saved before this month.
Starting point is 00:01:26 And so my husband thinks that, well, we've already budgeted it in, and so not to worry about it. We don't need to put it on our budget. Agreed. And I, being the nerd, thinks I need to have an income of money from savings and an expense right on our budget for whatever we're actually spending. And like I said, we just started this. We want to do this right, and so I'm hoping you can answer this for us.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Either one is fine. It just sounds like you went to accounting class and he didn't. No. You can't do debits without credits, right? Pretty much. Yeah, that's your brain. I just saw that. I mean, I think the same way is the way my brain works, but I was formally trained in accounting and finance in academia.
Starting point is 00:02:09 So that that locks your brain into that rut forever. And all he's saying is, well, just put the money in the account, write the check back out. And no big deal, you know. And really, it's the same thing. If you want to do an entry in and an entry out into the budget that's fine if it makes you feel better uh it's not it doesn't it's not it's not changing the structure of the budget it's basically you know we're going to put ten thousand dollars for the roof in and i'm going to write a check for ten thousand dollars out okay do either one of these plans tend to change people's behavior, be more, like we're both spenders.
Starting point is 00:02:45 And so we're trying to get to be more savers. And we're putting it in the budget, tend to make us be more apt to, or more conscientious. Yeah. Making it be a written entry will make you dial in better. Okay. entry will make you dial in better okay but it's it's uh you know what you because what you want to do is not is get is get in the habit of not doing anything with money that's not in the budget now in this case you have got the money already so you know uh but if you want to do as an entry in and an entry out that's there that's a technically okay and uh and it does help you with the idea of getting the muscle memory of the practice of, you know, we don't do anything that's not on the budget.
Starting point is 00:03:30 We don't do anything that's not on the budget. And so if we want to do it, we're going to enter it in and then take it back out. But it's a little different when it's something that's saved up for and you just write the check for that thing. So it's not the end of the world either way. So in terms of our plan, there's not a technical right or wrong answer on this. It's just a discussion about why you would do it one way and why you'd do it another. So it's not the end of the world. The bottom line is you have the money. You're paying cash for the event.
Starting point is 00:03:58 You're going to write the check. And by the way, for somebody that's not a saver, you've saved up a bunch of money. So well done. Good job. Elizabeth is with us in bunch of money. So well done. Good job. Elizabeth is with us in Tyler, Texas. Hi, Elizabeth. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Mr. Ramsey.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Thanks for taking my call. Sure. How can I help? So I'm on Step 7. And I just wanted some advice or thoughts on prioritizing investing. So since I'm on Step 7, I guess that's trying to invest more. It's the time, I guess, to possibly consider transferring money from traditional over to Roth and paying the taxes, things like that. Exactly, exactly.
Starting point is 00:04:40 And so right now, I am still only putting in 15% into retirement, but I have some money set aside that I could do some other things with. And so my question is just kind of going forward is prioritizing maybe putting more into retirement up front versus rolling over what I have in a traditional over into a Roth. Okay. It's not a right or a wrong answer. I, you know, it's by the end of two years, you're going to have done both anyway.
Starting point is 00:05:17 I hope so. Yeah. I mean, if you're all over the Roth now and don't up your percentages, next year when you don't have the Roth issue, you'll up your percentages, right? Or vice versa. If you up your percentages now, next year you'll roll over the Roth. Yeah, I'm not sure if I can roll over 100% of it this year with what I've got ready to pay taxes on. I could probably do 50% of it if I did it.
Starting point is 00:05:41 But my point is, five years from today, this is no longer a discussion. You will have done all of it. And so you just work your way through. Neither of these things are dumb things. How old are you? I am 35 years old. Okay. And how much is in the traditional that you want to convert to Roth that's going to create taxes?
Starting point is 00:05:59 About $44,000. Okay. So you have about a $10,000 tax bill then, right? Right. Okay. And you don't have an extra $10,000 tax bill then, right? Right. Okay. And you don't have an extra $10,000 above your emergency fund yet? My emergency fund is definitely on the six months
Starting point is 00:06:14 slightly higher, but if I don't dip into anything labeled that, then I have probably about $6,000 or $7,000 right now that I could throw at something. And your household income is? Quite 100% of that. I am, I make about $80,000 right now that I could grow at something. And your household income is? Not quite 100% of that. I make about $80,000. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:32 So, I mean, you'll be there by the end of the year. You can do all that in one year. You're $4,000 off. Yeah, I barely make $4,000 this month. No, not this year, not this calendar year. But, I mean, 12 months from today, you will have easily done and made enough to do the Roth. Okay. So you might not do it this calendar year.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Actually, you could do it this calendar year because your taxes aren't due until April. Right. Well, that's true, and I could save up the difference. Exactly. You can save $4,000 by April, easy. Yeah. If you don't mind, I have one other question I'd like to ask. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:10 So I have looked into also rolling over what to put in my 401K and the traditional side for my employer. And currently my employer's plan does not allow it. So I asked them, well, what would it take to make it allow it? So they emailed the people who are handling that with American Funds, and apparently it would be like $600 for them to redo the plan to allow this option. And it's a small company. My employer does not believe anyone else would ever be interested in even doing this. So my question is, after I
Starting point is 00:07:48 rolled over the traditional, would it be worth me paying the $600 so that I could, in the future, roll everything over? How much is in there? In the traditional for you? How much is in your traditional 401k? You know what? I don't know if I have those numbers up right now. Roughly. Don't worry about it. Roughly.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Is it $1,000 or $20,000? Let's see. My guess is it's in the neighborhood of a couple thousand maybe at most right now. It's not going to make you enough to pay the $600 fee for it. I wouldn't pay it today. I'd just let it ride today and not worry about it. Get your other stuff converted. Get yourself maxed out.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Certainly be doing everything Roth going forward. And then you can go from there. Interesting. It's not going to be worth $600 to you mathematically.
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Starting point is 00:10:33 Bridget is with us in South Bend, Indiana. Hi, Bridget. How are you? Good. How are you? Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up?
Starting point is 00:10:42 Okay. Sure. What's up? Okay, so my husband and I are moving to Michigan, and we just got an underwriting from Quicken Loans for a new mortgage, and we're just wondering what to do because I have zero credit, and so we're thinking about just doing my husband, which has some credit because of a credit card through work, and otherwise he doesn't have any debt or anything like that, and we're married. So we're just wondering, do I just, the mortgage just go in his name to get the best interest rate and then just me on the deed, or how can we go about doing that? It may end up that way, but you're not going to get a quality process and service from someone like a Quicken.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Because you're dealing with a monolith here who has only one system and one process, and you have to go down their path only, and that might not be the best path for you. That's why we recommend someone that's more of a traditional mortgage company that actually has mortgage underwriters that will actually work with you and help you figure those kinds of things out in your situation. I'm going to guess and say you may be better off to show both of your incomes and you with no credit. But what I would do is get in touch with Churchill Mortgage,
Starting point is 00:12:07 churchillmortgage.com. They have offices in Michigan, and they'll be able to help you with this and walk you through and give you a proper level of service and a proper, you know, a customized answer to your situation that's not one-size-fits- all, and it just runs down because there's a lot of different ways to run a mortgage, a lot of different ways. And it's important that you have someone that knows all the different mortgage or the array of mortgage products, then compares them to your situation and plugs you into the proper
Starting point is 00:12:42 thing. And that's why just getting your mortgage on the Internet is not – it's too big and too complicated a transaction to buy that way. So there's some things you can buy that way. You can click Amazon Prime and buy some things, but mortgages probably aren't one of them I want to do that with. Hey, thanks for the call. Logan's with us in Columbus, Ohio. Merry Christmas, Logan.
Starting point is 00:13:07 How are you? Thank you. I'm doing great. How about yourself? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, Dave, I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. So I commute an hour to work, and I'm in dire need of a new car, and right now, I think with no savings,
Starting point is 00:13:27 my only options are to either get out a small car loan, or my brother gratefully offered me to loan me $1,500 to get a small beat-up car. Mm-hmm. Okay. Why are you commuting an hour to work? So I met my girlfriend at Ohio University, and she ended up getting a job at OSU Wexner as a nurse. And I got this job at, well, it's actually a fellowship, and it's in Trimble, Ohio. So we decided to split the difference in the drive.
Starting point is 00:14:01 And I wanted to move a little bit towards the school because she works night shifts, so I'd rather myself drive in the morning than her drive after a long shift at night and drive in the dark and risk something bad happening. So she's driving almost an hour or two. Yeah, she's driving. Her drive takes about 45 minutes. And how long will this insanity go on? To the end of the year, so the end of the school year.
Starting point is 00:14:29 I'm working at a high school. I see. Okay. And then you will change careers or change jobs? I'll continue to be a high school teacher, but I would definitely change locations. Yeah. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:14:44 And what's the car that you've got now? It's a 2007 Ford Taurus. It has about 215,000 miles on it, and the problems seem to build up quicker than the miles. Okay. Yeah, you probably run the wheels off that almost. And what do you make a year? right now i'm in a fellowship agreement so i work 30 hours at the high school in exchange for 1400 a month stipend and then uh free master's tuition that will be finished in the summer so you hardly make enough to pay your gas bill yes i i i have the budget plan that you put out, well, the budget template that you have, and I save about $120 a month. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:34 And this is a five-day-a-week gig, right? Five days a week. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, okay. Well, let's start with the premise. It's not a premise. Let's start with the boundary or the guideline that says we don't borrow money for anything ever, particularly a stupid butt car.
Starting point is 00:16:03 So now, how do we fix this problem in your situation? That leaves you with only two options. One is continue to fix this thing and limp with it through May, five more months, when your life changes dramatically. And you just, you know, you just, the thing you take a weekend job and let that money save up and buy you a $1,000, $1,500 car, which would be an upgrade from where you are. But in no case am I going to have you in debt to your brother or anyone else for a car. Right. But you've emotionally put yourself in a situation here that's untenable. Right. But it's going to be a huge mistake. Because you've set this thing up, you've set up an untenable situation. I'm driving a 250,000-mile car, so what I'm going to do is move in with a girl an hour from where I work. And then my car is breaking down all the time.
Starting point is 00:17:18 You know, so you put your, you know, you've made a series of decisions that have seemingly boxed you in the corner. And painted yourself in the corner. And, you know know when you paint yourself in the corner you get paint on your feet so um this is going to be you know you're going to have an unpleasant five months i just don't know what level of unpleasant you're going to have you're going to drive an unpleasant car or you're going to work like a crazy person all day saturday all day sunday somewhere and try to make a thousand bucks as fast as you can and put it with this car and move up in car a little bit, which is probably what I would do if I were in your shoes, I guess.
Starting point is 00:17:54 It's hard for me to know because I would not have made the decision to be sitting where you're sitting. Yeah, I would not. I know I wouldn't have because i wouldn't i just i'm not going to commute an hour for anything so um yeah there's so many different things that are wrong with your situation that i i i don't i'm just stumbling i'm sorry i wish i could help i wish i could be more help but i don't think i can fix all that's going on here. But, yeah, in no case is Dave Ramsey going to tell you to borrow money for a car. So that leaves you two options. Drive that piece of crap and keep it taped together.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Or three options as far as I'm concerned. Or take some kind of weekend gig where you just work like a crazy person. The third option you're definitely not going to do, and that is move closer to your fellowship. And then when you are ready to marry this girl, marry her and move in with her at that point and go live up there next to where you are and quit spending so dad got much on gas and move right next to the high school for five months and finish your fellowship, which is probably the one thing that makes the most common sense. That's what I mean by I wouldn't have made the decisions that you've made to get you to this point.
Starting point is 00:19:07 So that's probably actually your best option. You'll never do it, but that's probably your best option. Hey, thanks for the call. Open phones at 888-825-5225. This is your show. It's all about you and your life and your choices. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Eric and Tammy are with us. Hey, guys, how are you?
Starting point is 00:20:30 Hi, Dave. Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. Welcome. Where do you guys live? Thanks so much for having us. We live in Cave Creek, Arizona.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Phoenix area. Yes. Yeah, I've been there. Very cool. Did a book signing up in that area one time at the mall. Very cool. We've seen you there. Well area one time at the mall. Very cool. We've seen you there. Well, good to have you guys.
Starting point is 00:20:47 So you're here to do a debt-free scream. Yes, sir. How much have you paid off? We paid off $394,000. How long did this take? It took a total of nine years. Oh, very good. There was a little break in there between two, Dave, where for like two years I went to school, finished that, had a construction injury.
Starting point is 00:21:06 But we made it up. It's a long story. And what was your range of income through those nine years? Yeah, so we were $140,000 down to $85,000 for the four years he went to college, and then now up to $200,000. Okay, excellent. What do you all do for a living? So we're both in sales. I'm medical device and he's heavy construction.
Starting point is 00:21:30 All right, very good. And I'm guessing with this being nine years and this much money, it's your house. Yes. You paid off your house? Yes, we did. I'm looking at weird people. Yes, you are. It's awesome to be weird. I love it.
Starting point is 00:21:42 How old are you two? So I'm 46. 46 as well. All right, and a paid for house. Yes, weird. I love it. How old are you two? So I'm 46. 46 as well. All right. In a paid-for house. Yes, sir. Not even 50. No.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Touchdown. I love it. It's good. Way to go. It was so intense there for a while, we ate the gazelle. We did. I love it. Well, good job, you guys.
Starting point is 00:22:01 What's this house worth? Now it's probably 4420,000. Yeah. Wow. Pretty neat. Yeah, the market has gone crazy in Phoenix, and we were so fortunate because when we moved there, it was the very low of the market, and we didn't have any debt. So we could afford. That was the only debt that we had.
Starting point is 00:22:19 We bought that house, and then we paid it off. I mean, it was an incredible journey. It took a full two years to pay it off. That was our gazelle intense. So it was hard. It was hard. I would just want to say, what you do makes a difference
Starting point is 00:22:34 all through your marriage. Like, we've grown so much as a couple going through this process. This is not just a get-out-of-debt show. It's not just money. It's your whole life. It's your whole life. It's your marriage. So I just wanted to mention that.
Starting point is 00:22:49 I mean, it's been a fantastic journey. Incredible. I'm so proud of y'all. Who were your biggest cheerleaders? Yeah. So my dad was a huge cheerleader. I'd say my older brother, Dan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:00 So a couple of family members on the good side. Yeah. They're not on the dark side of the force. That's right. I love it. That's right. I love it. That's right. Way to go, you guys. Man, that's so cool.
Starting point is 00:23:10 So what started you doing this? What made you say, we can actually pay off our house? Because most people never bother. Yeah. Well, because the journey happened so long ago, the beginning of the journey, he had come home from work one day and he just said, hey, I heard this guy on the radio talking about money. I was always reading books about finance. He said, take a look at this guy and see what you think. So the next weekend, your CDs came. The very first set of CDs came that you had created. I listened to those CDs and literally
Starting point is 00:23:39 that day, my life went from awesome that we had everything we could ever have dreamed of, our big house and our jet skis and boat. It was awesome until it wasn't awesome because we didn't own anything, nothing. And it was just so rude awakening. And it was so scary to sit there thinking we don't own anything. And so that started the journey. So lots of life happened in between. They removed about five times before we finally settled in Cave Creek, Arizona. Eric got hurt on a construction job. He was a builder. And when that happened, that changed our life because he chose to go to college. He said, you know, we need to go to college. That's what took the income down because I had to work and we had cash floated. And then once that was all done, I printed the amortization schedule for the house.
Starting point is 00:24:26 And I brought it to him. And I said, I think we can pay the house off in two years. I said, you're crazy. Yeah. But I really thought we could. But this last two years has sucked. It was hard. So you did the 394 really in two years?
Starting point is 00:24:41 Or how much of the 394 was the house? The house was $240,000. Okay. So you did $240,000 in two years? Or how much of the 394 was the house? The house was $240,000. Okay. We did that in two years. So you did 240 in two years. Yes. Whoa. That was the gazelle in tents where we ate the gazelle because we were so tired of rice and beans.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Yeah. So you cleaned up all the jet skis and the other stuff in the previous seven years. Yes. But then when you look down, you go, okay, game on. Now we're going to do the house. And you leaned into it with, wow, good. That's right because he had graduated from college and got a good job i had my good job we were stable ready
Starting point is 00:25:09 to go and we did it i love it i love it well done well done we did it so eric what kind of injury did you have i was setting trusses and the crane kind of let go and i had my hand on the train the crane and it just it pulled everything in this arm and I had to have some work done here. So the surgeon said, you're done doing construction, and we had a big talk, and I just went back to school. Yeah. So you're going to use your mind now. Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:34 So you've got a degree in? Business management. Business management. And I went into construction, large equipment sales, and stayed in the construction industry. All right, perfect, because you know the business. Yes, sir. Yeah, that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:25:45 And then you've got the degree now to go with it, so very good. Use your experience and the education to pivot and go in another direction. And you're making great money between the two of you now. We're doing pretty good. You are, and you don't have a house payment. No, sir. We don't. I love it.
Starting point is 00:26:01 No. Well done. Well done. So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Yeah. So the key, you have to have a budget. You have to know where your money's coming and going. But you have to have a partner.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Teamwork. That shares it. Each person's going to have, somebody's going to have their hard time. And that best friend needs to be right there to pick you up. You have to work as a team. And then it just, it works. It works. You guys you up. You have to work as a team. And then it just works. It works. You guys are fun.
Starting point is 00:26:28 You're fun. Thank you. You're going to be so rich. I know. And we can give. I have to say this. So the biggest line item in our budget is our giving. That is fantastic.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Who would have thought we could have ever done that? Well, you don't have any payments. I know. It's so great thank you so much for doing what god put you here to do dave thank you so very much we're proud of you you're the reason we do it that's awesome thank you you guys are heroes all right eric and tammy phoenix arizona 394 000 paid40,000 in the last two years. That's the house and everything over nine years. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Ready?
Starting point is 00:27:12 Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Love it! Man, that's fun well done you two well done this is how it's done right here folks wow open phones this hour at 888-825-5225 lucas is on instagram dave i've got credit cards with high balances. I'm following your steps to pay them off. My question is, should I close the accounts and never look back once they're paid off? Let's see, Lucas.
Starting point is 00:28:01 You have open credit cards that you ran up to high balances. And you pay them off, and you're wondering if you should keep them. Sounds like a dumb question. Of course you shouldn't keep them. What's the point in paying them off? And you have a tendency to use them, we have noticed. So of course you pay them off, and of course you close them, and of course you're done with credit cards. You're done with credit cards.
Starting point is 00:28:29 I don't have a credit card. You don't have a credit card? I don't have a credit card. You don't have a credit card? I don't have a credit card. I have debit cards. And I go travel more than any two of you put together, and I put up with the same stuff everybody else puts up with out there.
Starting point is 00:28:48 My debit cards work just fine, thank you very much. I can do everything a credit card will do except put you in debt. So you have to rethink this, folks. You have to rethink it permanently. So get you some debit cards, put some money in your account. Don't buy stuff if you don't have money. That's kind of how that debit card thing works. And you close all the credit card accounts.
Starting point is 00:29:16 All of them. Every one of them. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Thanks for joining us, America. Amy is with us in Chattanooga. Hi, Amy. Merry Christmas. Hi, Merry Christmas. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world? Not much. My husband and I are currently on Baby Step number two.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Good. And I guess we probably feel a good bit of responsibility for our parents. We both lost our fathers at a young age. And my mother doesn't handle her finances very well. Neither does my sister and a few more of our family members. And, of course, when they turn to us and they are looking for money in times of need, they come straight to us and ask for it. And it's hard to say no.
Starting point is 00:31:09 We're currently trying to focus on our own debt and get those things paid off, but we've been very open about our success with Dave Ramsey and saving up our emergency fund, and they know it's there. They know that we have that $1,000 in our savings. If something was to happen, they can always turn to us and ask for it. No is not working anymore. They just don't accept it. They, you know, say there's a lot of things going on, and they use my nieces and nephews as an excuse, which breaks my heart.
Starting point is 00:31:44 And, of course, I want to see those, you know, my kids, my nephews having, you know, food on the table. You know, sometimes they say they don't have money for groceries. And we have the least income out of all of everybody in our family. Okay. So let's stop a second. Let's stop a second. You're talking mainly about your sister. Let's just start with her, okay?
Starting point is 00:32:03 Yeah. They make more money than you, and they don don't have money to feed their kids yes so that's just wait a minute stop that's just asinine yes it's just ridiculous yes and then has the unmitigated gall to ask you for money and she makes more than you do and then as and worse than that she's a travel agent for guilt trips absolutely little babies aren't gonna eat it's gonna be your fault no you're their mother stupid thank you for saying that right i mean really and so here's the thing here's the thing what's happening is this what the only thing that's going to help you is you're going to have to learn to love her better.
Starting point is 00:32:45 You don't love her well. And you're just a wimp. And what's happening is the reason you're a wimp is you think that's being nice. And it's not being nice. You are buying crystal meth for a meth addict. You're buying her drugs that are going to kill her. You are participating in her misbehavior. You are not kill her. You are participating in her misbehavior. You are not helping her.
Starting point is 00:33:07 You are harming her. You are an enabler. Does that make sense? Absolutely. When you give her money, when she doesn't handle money well and she makes more money than you, that's the same thing as giving a drunk a drink. Yes, absolutely. And so the proper way to love her is not make her happy on the short term.
Starting point is 00:33:33 It's to help her win long term. And how is that going to happen? By you giving her money? No. The way she's going to win long term is she decides she's going to be a grown up and be responsible with the money she has. Right. That's when she's going to win long term is she decides she's going to be a grown up and be responsible with the money she has. Right. That's when she's going to start winning.
Starting point is 00:33:48 And so here's how it would sound at our house. Okay. Sis, I love those babies of yours. And I love you. And I'll do anything in the world for you except bring harm to you. And participating in your financial irresponsibility is bringing harm to you, and I'm not going to do it anymore. Because I love you too much to help you continue to be bad with money.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Y'all make too much money to be broke. So here's what I am going to do, okay? I am going to give you $50 this time. This time. This is the last time. And I'm going to give you a class called Financial Peace University to learn how to handle money.
Starting point is 00:34:32 And if you do not go to the class, every single class, and you do not learn how to handle money, do not ever ask me for money again, because I will not give you any more under any circumstances. I love you too much to buy your drugs.
Starting point is 00:34:58 And you're going to have to get there because you're just a sweet person. You're just a tender-hearted, kind person. And you're going to have to see what you're doing is mean. When you're participating with your sister's irresponsibility, you're being mean to her. And we can extend the same conversation to your mom. And then that will help you kind of break through the enable. And sometimes people say, well, Dave, that's tough love.
Starting point is 00:35:25 No, that's just love. Yes. It's not tough love. Absolutely. It's like your little kid doesn't want to brush their teeth. Honey, you have to brush your teeth for two reasons. One is we don't want to smell your breath. The second thing is if you don't brush your teeth, you're not going to have any.
Starting point is 00:35:41 You know? And we love you too much to not let you know. Well, I don't want to brush my teeth i don't really care you're gonna brush your teeth because i'm gonna stand here until you do until you learn to do it and until it becomes a habit twice a day for the rest of your dad blame life and that way you have teeth because teeth are handy they help you get jobs and they help you get married and they help you know you need teeth right and this. You know, you need teeth, right? And this is the same kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:36:07 But does a baby, does an 8-year-old little boy always want to brush his teeth? Well, I can promise you 100% of the time they don't. It's something you have to make them do for their own good. And that's not tough love. That's just love. Absolutely. That's being a good daddy, a good mommy. That's all that is. And that's all you're doing here is being a good sister. I mommy that's all that is and that's all you're
Starting point is 00:36:25 doing here is being a good sister i don't want you to be mean to your sister i don't want you i don't want you to raise your voice i don't want you to be unkind or sarcastic um i was a little bit sarcastic picking at her there a minute ago to try to give you a little strength okay but the truth is but the truth is you just, I just want you to sit down and be kind to her and gently but firmly, just like you would a little baby. You wouldn't ever be mean to a little four-year-old kid, but you are going to make them do what they need to do behavior wise in order to exist in this world. Right. You're going to behave in a restaurant. You're going to sit here and you're going to say yes, ma'am and no, ma'am.
Starting point is 00:37:03 And you're going to behave. And because you have to learn self-control, little baby. And I love you. I mean, I got these little grandbabies, and there's five of them under five, which means when they're all at the house, one of them is melting down at all times, right? It's just all, you know. But do we get mad at them? No, I'm not going to get mad at them.
Starting point is 00:37:20 They're mad. Some of them have a little temper fit, you know, spit flying out of their head and all this. But Papa Dave is not going, we don't play that. I love you. And you're just going to sit here and you're going to be kind. And you're going to lower your voice a little bit. And we're going to straighten up here. You know?
Starting point is 00:37:37 And you can have that same conversation with your sister. And it would be a loving conversation. But she's not going to like right oh yeah we've been there i'm going to school in january and i told her i said you know this is i can't help you anymore yeah yeah you know our budget is even tighter than what it was and well it's not amy it's not your job to help her she's a grown person oh yeah she's got kids it's her your job to help her. She's a grown person. Oh, yeah. She's got kids.
Starting point is 00:38:07 It's her job. And they got more money than you got. Absolutely. This is ridiculous. And your mom is no better. I mean, you're in the same situation. Your mother just misbehaves all the time and has gotten away with it probably since way back when your daddy was alive. Yes.
Starting point is 00:38:26 And he just took care of her none of them knew how to budget and i was the first one to take the steps to learn how to budget you know they don't you know if you want if you want to go to the gas station they put ten dollars in it i'll fill it up to the top yeah if you want to invest in them you can do that you know put them in the class we'll help you i'll give you i'll give you a couple memberships if you want to do it but i don't i'm not you have to call kelly back after you have these conversations okay okay and tell her um i'll put you on hold you can get you on connect get phone numbers and everything off air phone numbers but but you know and if they don't want to go i don't give them a membership right you? You don't either. But if they'll go, I'll pay for it, and you and I can help them together.
Starting point is 00:39:07 But I'm not sending them any money. Oh, agreed. You know, I've done this show for 30 years, and I've heard some really sad stories here on the air, and I've never given a single person here on the air money. Right. And I could have. The whole stinking Dave Ramsey show could turn into a telethon, you know. But we're not doing that. It's not what we do. I could have. The whole stinking Dave Ramsey show could turn into a telethon, you know.
Starting point is 00:39:26 But we're not doing that. It's not what we do. We're going to teach you how to fish. We don't give fish away. And so that's what you need to do here. The book is called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. And, Miss Amy, you need to read it. It's a wonderful book.
Starting point is 00:39:43 It'll help you a lot with what you're facing here. Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. Your family doesn't have any, and you're going to have to put some up. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Did you know you can now listen to The Dave Ramsey Show on Pandora and Spotify? For all the ways to watch and listen, check out our show page at DaveRamsey.com slash show.

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