The Ramsey Show - App - When You're in a Huge Debt Hole, You Need a Big Shovel (Hour 3)

Episode Date: November 24, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Anthony O'Neill. Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author of the book Debt-Free Degree, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Starting off this hour is Sophia in Buffalo, New York. Hi, Sophia. How are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve.

How can we help? So I am about to enter repayment on my loan. I made a mistake and went to a private university. I have about $110,000 mixed between federal and private, and I've already started putting a couple thousand on it. I am a teacher, so my income is not great, but I'm ready to go because I'm intense, but I feel like even if I put 100% of my income on these loans, I won't really be making a dent, so I don't really know what to do. What is your income, Sophia? About $38,000. Yeah. So we have

the very first thing is we got to get a bigger shovel. We have to figure out how can we get this $38,000 up. That's the very first thing. What do you teach? I am a kindergarten teacher right now. Okay.

Are you qualified to teach in high school? I'm not qualified for high school, but I am qualified for special ed, and that usually comes with a pay raise for, like, next year. Okay. What I was thinking of is what you might do tutoring on the side. Yes. And it might be that there's some special ed families that would hire you after school. Yes. That you could do some tutoring or some special work with some of them. Maybe give them a little bit of a breather and have you come in and teach a little bit and pay you to do that. And that would be a wonderful extra job.

Yeah. Yeah, I agree, Sophia. Tutor.com is a great place too. There's a lot of like young people going on there to really seeking for help and parents right now with their kids being home. So you can really go in there and generate probably another $15,000 to $20,000 in income

if you do that every day. But right now, number one, you got to get your income up. And then number two, I want you to look into Splash Financial to see if they can help you out there because you can possibly refinance with a much lower interest rate if that is an option. But basically, if we can find $30,000 a year, you're done in three years. If you find $25,000 a year, you're done in three years. If you find $25,000 a year, you're done in four years, give or take. Yeah.

Okay. And so this is doable. You're going to get there. Yeah. But you've got a tough few years ahead of you. You're going to be working a lot, not doing anything, and working a lot. But, Sophia, hold on. I'm going to have Kelly give you a copy of my Destroy Your

Student Loan Debt. I walked through a lot of options on there to help you speed up the process. So stay on the line. Kelly will get that for you. That's one of our Ramsey quick reads for those of you that don't know out there. How many pages is that? Eighty four. Eighty four pages. So it's a couple of chapters, basically, maybe three chapter book. book, that kind of a thing. We're doing a lot of these quick reads. Dr. Deloney's book, Redefining Anxiety, is out. It's a quick read. It's like 40 or 50 pages or something. And so we're doing a lot of these that are easy to get through, quick to get through. And the Destroying Your Student Loan Debt, it is a couple of chapters, and it's really, really good. You can pick it up for 10 bucks right now. So it'll help a lot of you. And we'll give you a copy of that, Sophia, and help you get

into this, because basically, Anthony's right. There's what we call the shovel-to-hole ratio. You're in a $108,000 hole, and you have a $38,000 shovel. And he's saying we need a bigger shovel so that we can hit on that, get that hole filled up that much faster

and be done with it. Andrew's in Orange County. Hey, Andrew, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. Hey, Anthony. How are you guys doing? Thanks for taking my call. Sure.

What's up? So I have discovered you guys earlier this year around February, March. I've had a pretty high income for the last 10 years, and I made Congress look like they were on the Dave Ramsey program. You know, me and my wife spent over that time period. We're finally starting to get our stuff together here. And my question is, so we blew out all of our debt. So we paid off everything, a couple hundred thousand of debt in the last six months.

Way to go. And with the exception of our, well, actually, technically right now, I don't have a mortgage because I'm relocating, but we're in escrow to buy a house out actually in the Nashville area. So my question is, I am now on baby step, I guess, four, five, and six. And my question is, my income exceeds, you know, take 15% of my income, and it exceeds the amount that you can contribute to retirement accounts. And so I'm trying to figure out how to get to that 15%.

What is your household income? Well, I'm 100% commissioned, so it varies wildly. I'm in the mortgage industry, so it's, you know. But, I mean, in a year, what do you think you're going to make? Right. wildly i'm in the mortgage industry so it's you know what i mean in a year what do you think you're gonna make right so over the last 10 uh over the last 10 years i've averaged between 600 and a million okay annually all right this year it's probably about like gonna end up at like 1.8 yeah i imagine wow way to go yeah very cool good for you thank you so um yeah i mean you when you get an income above a half a million you can change your ratios if you want to yeah because the point is we're trying to invest aggressively and as you said

earlier not spend like you're in congress and so yeah you're right you might what i would do in your case is um you max out um i'll give you an example okay i okay? I do invest more than 15% of my income, but I was going to say I don't, but I do. But it's not in retirement accounts, obviously. And so, you know, I max out my 401. I max out a couple of Roths, backdoor Roths, and your SmartVestor Pro can help you do those if you don't know how. And I max out my HSA. I don't even use the HSA except for an investment account, basically.

Me too. And I've got all that invested in mutual funds. And so that's all done. It's just maxed out. And then the rest of our investments, I just throw in mutual funds until I get enough in there to buy real estate, and I buy real estate with it. And so consequently, today, many years later after doing that, my real estate portfolio is way larger than my mutual fund portfolio.

But I'm a real estate guy. I love real estate, so that's how I've done it. But, yeah, in terms of, you know, what comes first, match or Roth or that kind of stuff, when you're making a million dollars a year, that doesn't even come up. Yeah. I mean, you just max out everything. Just blow it up. And make sure you're getting your house paid for in the midst of stuff, when you're making a million dollars a year, that doesn't even come up. Yeah. I mean, you just max out everything. Just blow it up.

And make sure you're getting your house paid for in the midst of that, too. But it sounds like you're making a move to Tennessee, and you probably are paying cash for a house coming out of Orange County. That would make sense to be able to do that anyway. So, well done, sir. Congratulations. What a fabulous income. Yeah. And paid off $200,000 in the last six months.

That's amazing. Well, he should have. Yeah. Make it 1.8. Yeah, and paid off $200,000 in the last six months. That's amazing. Well, he should have. Yeah. Make it 1.8. Yeah, he should. You've got to be able to do that. It's like paying off $20,000 and making $180,000. Hey, come on, Dave.

Same ratio, right? Yes, sir. And so that's how this works. Well done. Very well done. Go from a $38,000 teacher to that call. That's amazing. This is the Dave Ramsey show Over the years, I've seen so many families suffer by not having life insurance. It's not that they didn't care.

It's just that they didn't know, so they did nothing. That's a huge mistake. Listen, husbands and wives, moms and dads, think about it. If you died, how would your family pay the bills, the mortgage, food, and plan for a better future? This is what life insurance is all about, and term life is the only way to go. It's not expensive, and it's not complicated. Stop wasting money on cash value plans. You need 10 to 12 times your income in protection and I recommend 15 or 20 year level plans. I also

only recommend Zander Insurance and I have for over 20 years. These are the only people I personally use and they only offer the plans I recommend. Call them at 800-356-4282 or get instant quotes online at zander.com. Trust me, these simple steps will let your family know how much you care. Well, this is the season. You can enter our Ramsey Christmas Cash giveaway daily to increase your chances of winning. We're giving away $500 once a week and a $5,000 grand prize. Go to DaveRamsey.com slash giveaway. And this week, we've got our week-long Black Friday sale. That means you can shop our best-selling books, bundles, and kids' products for up to 83% off.

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And, again, no purchase is necessary on that. Well, we're also looking for some millionaires if you are a millionaire and want to participate in one of our millionaire theme hours. We don't care how you became the millionaire. We just want to share with people how you did it because we want to talk to people who are really millionaires. Now, a millionaire is not making a million dollars a year. A millionaire is you have a million-dollar net worth.

What you own minus what you owe is your net worth, your assets minus your liabilities. And so we're looking for millionaire calls. If you want to be part of the next millionaire theme hour, go to DaveRamsey.com slash show, and you can fill out the form there. Kelly Daniel will get back with you and arrange for you to be on the show and be part of our millionaire theme hour. Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Steve is with us in Helena, Montana. Hi, Steve. How are you? Hi, Dave. Hi, Anthony. How are you guys today?

Great, man. How can we help? Well, I have an issue with getting a divorce, and I'm trying to do it amicably. And one of the issues we have is we have a house that's on, we own the house and property, but it's on, I guess, an inherited sort of family estate from her family. And I want her to be able to stay in the house with the kids. But in the divorce, we need to separate that property. and there's no way that she can buy me out. No way I can buy her out because of our debts and stuff.

And I guess my question is, is it a good idea to put in the divorce to say five years that we still own it together, but at the end of five years when my daughter graduates, we either need to sell it or she needs to buy me out at that time. What's your opinion of that was? That's a tough one. So what is the property worth? Tax value right now is $285,000. No, no, no, not the tax value. What's it worth? Tax value right now is $285,000. No, no, no, not the tax value. What's it worth? Probably $410,000. And what do you owe on it? We owe $100,000. Okay, so it would take her $360,000,

$350,000 to buy you out. I'm sorry, $150,000 to buy you out. I'm sorry. Right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so it would double the mortgage payment that she can't cover. And what does she make a year? She makes $45,000 to $50,000 as a teacher. Okay. What kind of shape are her parents in? Are they the property owners contiguous? They were until two years ago.

They sold their property to our sister-in-law, or my sister-in-law. But they are in good shape. Do they want to buy you guys out and let their daughter stay there? We haven't talked to them about it and that's uh i don't i i don't know if she'd be willing to even do that i thought of that solution and i don't uh well i i think you sell the house and if she wants to get her dad to buy her you and if that precipitates a conversation and if she wants to get her dad to buy her, and if that precipitates a conversation and she gets her dad to buy you out, that's fine. But,

um, you know, uh, it's just not that big a deal. Yeah. It's family land and it used to be, but it's already gone down to the sister-in-law and everybody else is hanging out and there's all this other stuff going on.

you know, this is what happens in these situations. And so, um, you know, I what happens in these situations and so um you know i don't think that's being a hard case um i i think you've got 150 000 and you got five years of your life that that's tied up just to do her a favor yeah i agree and i no i wouldn't do it that's not being mean it's just it's just a bad transaction and it just leaves you because here's what's going to happen. You're going to move on with your life, and then you're going to need this money.

Yep. Right. And you're going to be kicking yourself for having done this deal in a moment of weakness trying to be kind. Right. Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong at all. No. You're not wrong.

And, Steve, I want to commend you on your heart, man. I mean, your heart's in the right place. It's a wonderful, kind thing you're not wrong at all no you're not wrong and steve i want to commend you on your heart man i mean your heart's in the right place it's a it's a wonderful kind thing you're offering and if you want to do it it's not the end of the world but i think you're gonna i think you're gonna regret it yeah and that's i was just about to say that dave that that steve i want you to think five years from now where are you going to be and how will this affect you then yeah well even three years yeah you know three years you're you're dating somebody you're thinking about buying a house and you know you got no money that's some good ugly and you got a hundred thousand dollar mortgage in your name still yeah i'm selling it all right i'm selling it yeah well and i i think what's going to happen

is dad's going to come along and buy you out yeah right Right. And you don't have to be unkind with a proposal. You can just go, listen, the reason we're ending this relationship is because we need to end this relationship. We don't need to partially end this relationship. Right. Right. It needs to be done. And you said earlier, Steve, that five years so that y'all's kids can graduate.

Do you think that's why she wants to stay in the house so her kids don't have to move? She wants to stay in the house because it's family land. Well, it's family land, and I don't want to blow my kid's life up any more than it's already going to be blown up. Listen, where your kids live is nothing compared to what you guys are already going through. So it just is. And your kids are resilient though how you guys act and how you react and how big how big a drama queens you all are is going to

what's going to affect the kids it's more than if she acts like it's no big deal and she just moves but if she carries on flops in the floor and foams at the mouth and calls you the devil then that's going to affect your kid but she's you know but that's that's what's you know that's going to affect your kid. But that's what's, you know, it depends on the drama queen factor. But I think her dad is going to buy you out. And if I was her dad, I would buy you out, yeah, by the way, because I'd want to keep the land and the family, and I've got the money, and I want you to be able to go on your way. And you should be able to go on your way.

And, by the way, that involves also her refinancing the $100,000 mortgage and getting that out of your name. So it's not just a $150,000 check coming your way and then you stay on her mortgage. No, thank you. That mortgage needs to come out of your name as well. So it's not that harsh a thing. It's just a process.

And if dad can't or doesn't want to do it, then maybe land family lands, not that big a deal to them. Yeah. But I suspect if he's got the money, he's going to do this deal. And, um, it's up to him and his daughter, how they structure it. I don't care. Um, uh, in terms of your answer to your situation, sorry, you guys are going through this. It's a horrible thing to have to figure out how to turn a marriage into a business transaction. And that's what divorce does.

It's very, very hard. Very hard. You know, Anthony, we were talking about this exact scenario in a different hour. We sure were. Where we were talking about the, you know, the mortgage is left, the house is left. Well, it wasn't the exact scenario, but the typical thing is the guy leaves and the lady gets the house and she can't afford it. Nope. And this lady cannot afford a $410,000 house. Yeah. And this one gets even more sticky because it's family.

It's a family land. You want to keep that in the family. You want to keep things straightened out that way. So that is an issue without a doubt. Without a doubt. It's a problem. Wow. Anthony O'Neill, my co-host today here on the Dave Ramsey Show, author of the book Debt-Free Degree.

Debt-Free Degree. And if you text 20things to 33789, he'll send you a free write-up called 20 Things Millennials Should Do. 20 Things Millennials Should Do. Text 20THINGS to 33789. Anthony O'Neill Ramsey personality is my co-host today on the air. Brian and Alicia are with us in Corpus Christi, Texas. Hey, guys, I see on my screen you're debt-free. Way to go. Thank you, Dave.

Well done. How much did you pay off? $159,500. Good for you guys. Well done. And how long did this take? Took us about three years. Good for you.

And your range of income during that time? $125,000 to $175,000. What do you do for a living? I'm a chemical engineer, and I'll let Alicia tell what she does. I am a stay-at-home mom, and I homeschool our three kids. Awesome. Very cool. So she's working harder than me.

Yeah, I don't doubt this. I don't doubt this. There's a reason we did not homeschool our children. We wanted them to live. So, yeah, absolutely. Oh, wow. Well done. So what kind of debt was this $160,000?

This was our mortgage. You paid off your house, weird people. We did. How old are you guys? I'm 39. And I'm 36. Wow. No, 36 i'm 35 how's that feel that's awesome great pretty stinking cool man what's this house worth um it's about 350 and you're not even 40 years old it freaking paid for. I love you guys. This is amazing.

Well done. Well done. Well done. You have rocked it. So tell me the story. What in the world happened? I need to know this answer. So when we got married, our landlord gave us your course as a wedding gift.

It was back when it was the 13 week course. Yeah. And we got married when I was 20, so I didn't really have much concept of money except for spending. And so it just kind of set us up for the right path entering into our marriage. And then we basically, after the course, we immediately paid off our four student loans, a car loan. And after that, we've just been following your plan. And we finally got to the point where we wanted the peace of mind of owning our house. And that's about it.

We wanted to leave the legacy to our kids. So how long have you guys been married? We've been married 15 years. Okay. Wow. So you busted through the first baby steps and you're working four, five, six for many years. and then you looked up about three years ago and said, we can punch this thing and did it. Exactly. Exactly.

We got to that point. Punched, like you said, punched through the first baby steps right away like a gazelle. Yeah. Very cool. Way to go, guys. Brian and Alicia, I'm looking at your home on the screen. It is a beautiful home. Thank you. And I have to ask, what on the screen. It is a beautiful home. Thank you.

And I have to ask, what was the hardest thing during this journey? I mean, you have three beautiful kids. You're a stay-at-home mom. And you're in your 30s. Let's just be real here, y'all. Like, this is weird. This is amazing. But what was the hardest thing during this journey?

I think just living like no one else. It can be different at times. Sometimes you don't always feel like, you feel like you might be alone, but you know, it's teamwork and being in it together helped. Yeah, I think we were on the same page. We communicated a lot about our money and what we wanted to do and just doing it together. Yeah. You know, so interesting. You said you had no concept of money coming into marriage and you guys went through Financial Peace University at the very start 15 years ago. So in the one sense, you've watched your friends or your contemporaries anyway, blowing money, buying things they couldn't afford, going into debt on cars and having no

concept of money. And looking like maybe it's sometimes that they're having more fun than you're having while you're being really intentional with this. And in another sense, you guys have had a completely different marriage than they have had. Right. Right. Exactly. You know, in fact, in the beginning, some of them even commented, kind of made fun of us a little bit. But as we got on the journey, you know, we heard the man, maybe we should have done that, that type of thing. Yeah. Well, and the other thing is, is that there's not money fights in your house, not not not as extreme as there are in most houses anyway. Right? Absolutely. Yeah. Because

you from day one, you know, had a game plan, had a template that and had an agreement, and you've been working it together. I'm sure you've had disagreements. We all do. But you don't go 15 years without having a fight. But, you know, it had to be a completely different household to grow up in for your kids than maybe your friends' kids. Right.

And that's the goal. And, you know, we tell people that was probably one of the best wedding presents anyone could have given us. Yeah. Yeah, that's the goal. And, you know, we tell people that was probably one of the best wedding presents anyone could have given us. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Well, way to go, you two. Thank you. Wow.

Thank you. Wow. How does it feel? Has it set in? It has set in. You know, maybe not fully, but it feels great. I mean, peace of mind. So what's your first big thing you're going to do?

You're a baby step seven. Yes. What's your first big thing you're gonna do you're a baby step seven yes what's your first thing you're gonna do with money you know we have we we've been talking about saving for weddings and you know all that i mean i know that's still saving but i we don't know we haven't thought that far we haven't thought through the celebration yet you need to go buy something i was about to say that go buy something go somewhere go do something find some place that's open and go that's been the challenge that is the challenge yeah all the places we were used to would go to celebrate not all of them but a lot of them are closed up tight wow well way to go you guys so proud of you thank you there's only thing a couple things left you can do with money. Continue to invest it, enjoy it, and give it.

And outrageous generosity is definitely in your future. I'm so proud of y'all. Way to go, heroes. Appreciate it. Good stuff. All right, we've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Everyday Millionaires. I kind of think you're probably already there, but if you're not, you will be soon. And we'll send you a copy of that to show you how the other millionaires have done it. So very, very cool.

Brian and Alicia in Corpus Christi, Texas. $160,000 paid off in three years, making $125,000 to $175,000. They paid off their house, and they're not even 40. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream three two one that's off the landlord that gave them financial peace university 15 years ago oh my goodness how cool is that that is seriously cool uh people right now are signing up people for financial peace university using ramsey plus memberships to give away for christmas

and that could be you 15 years from now some little couple you're giving that to that could be them absolutely i mean that is pretty stinking neat yeah in a covid year in a dumpster fire year man just crazy absolutely amazing very very well done well speaking of millionaires we are collecting millionaire callers for a millionaire theme hour coming up if you have a net worth of over a million dollars and your net worth is not your income it's what you own minus what you owe. Your assets minus liabilities is net worth. And if that's over a million dollars, then you can be a part of the show. Call in, tell us how you did that. Maybe you hit the lottery. Maybe you inherited the money. Maybe you're a rock star. Maybe you're a teacher and you saved for 30 years and now you're a millionaire.

And that happens all the time, by the way. So all you got to do to participate in that Millionaire Theme Hour that's coming up with Chris Hogan and me is go to DaveRamsey.com slash show. DaveRamsey.com slash show. Anthony O'Neill is my co-host today here on the air. If you want to join his family, just text AO to 33789. He'll drop some encouragement in your inbox. You'll be the first to get some of the exclusive content, the latest news, the free resources that he's got out. Text AO to 33789. And he's also got a thing out right now called 20 things millennials should do

it's a list of 20 things that all millennials should do with their money text 20 things to 33 7 8 9 i'm still befuddled anthony about why millennials should do these things and nobody else should why are millennials special i mean well because we are you know i just want to say that you know uh everyone's special but to me you know we are. You know? I just want to say that. You know? Everyone is special. But to me, you know, millennials are special. And I think I just needed to be specific and tell these young people, hey, you want to be like Dave Ramsey? You want to be like Anthony O'Neal?

You want to be like that successful person? Well, here are the 20 things they did in their 20s. Mistakes to avoid and some things to accomplish. Ooh. So text 20 things. And that's the number 2-0-THINGS, to 33-789. That's a free download, by the way. Free? Free. Completely free. Did we mention it's free?

This is The Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. our scripture of the day first peter five two and three shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you. Not for shameful gain, but eagerly. Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. Max Licato says, a man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. There you go. Kayla is with us. Kayla is in Salem, Oregon. Hi, Kayla. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.

Hello, sir. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can Anthony and I help? So I'm in a little bit of a predicament. So about three years ago, I bought a duplex with my mom. The whole goal was to fix it up, keep it for a few years, live there, obviously, and then turn around and sell it. Initially, we went into it to split it 50-50 and you know, with some cash to go out on our own

and start a life and buy our own homes and so on and so forth. So we recently just sold it and now it has kind of blown up a little bit. She has gone back on the whole 50-50 thing, claimed that that was never a deal, and we profited about $115,000, and now she's telling me that I'm only going to get $15,000 or $20,000 of that $115,000 that we made ourselves. How is she in control of this? Is it in her name? No, sir. We went into it, I guess, you know, together.

Both of our names were on the wall. Then she doesn't get to decide. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of, it's been a difficult situation. So why we initially went into it was because she went through a divorce. And so she couldn't afford to buy a house by herself that's not got anything to do with this yeah yeah i guess yeah so is your name on the deed is your name on the deed yes sir are there any written documentations as to this partnership that you entered into with

your mother no unfortunately not yeah which is why you don't do partnerships and why you don't do partnerships with family. Amen. And you don't do them unless they're all in writing, and even then, when they're in writing, sometimes they blow up on you. Yeah. How old are you? I'm 24, so I bought it when I was 20. Yeah. So it was in one, right?

So, yeah, this was unwise. Obviously, you're realizing that now. But now, so the trick is this. If the house, has the duplex sold? Yes, sir. It is sold. I actually, I mean, we have the check sitting with us. It's in both of our names.

Oh, good. I haven't had to sit down and have this conversation with her because i'm really not sure you know where to push it or where to i guess push over the i mean i obviously don't want to ruin my relationship with her yeah but if you have to buy a relationship with someone that's called prostitution right right okay this is that's Prostitution. Right. Right. Okay. That's not a real relationship when you have to pay for it. Right. When you have to pay someone to be your friend, they're not a real friend. When you have to pay someone to be your mom, they're not a real mom.

I'm so sorry. This is so hard for you at 24 years old to face your domineering mother who is a test pilot for a broom factory. This is so hard for you. And I'm trying to start my life, my family, and trying to buy property and stuff. But in your mind, it is very, very clear that there was a 50-50 promise made. Yes, sir. And when we improved it, we split everything 50-50 as far yes sir and we and when we improved it we split everything 50-50 um as far

as the outside stuff you paid the taxes you paid the bills everything 50-50 yes so i paid half of the mortgage every month everything that's absolute asinine yeah that she wants more than 50 percent what did your mom why would she why She needs the money for something, doesn't she? Yes. So she has bought a new truck, and we have horses, and she went out and bought a new horse trailer and stuff like that, and so she needs to pay that stuff off in order for herself to go buy a home. Yeah, who's got horses? We have horses?

Well, she has horses. She trains horses. Okay. You don't have partnership in horses with her, too? No, sir. Okay. Okay. So, listen, Kayla, this is going to be a very painful thing for you, and it's not your fault.

Okay? Because you're not going to win. There's not going to be a win in this scenario win number way way to lose number one is to do the wrong thing morally and let her get away with this bullying tactic and giving her more than half that's way number one out of this that's not good that sucks way number two is you say mom we paid 50 of. This has been 50%. I'm sorry you thought it was something else. It's not. We are going to the bank together. We are going to cash this check at the bank, and I'm going to put 50% of it into my account, and you're going to put 50% of it into

your account. If that makes you angry, I am so sorry. I'm not here to make you angry, but we are going to do the deal that we originally promised. And guess what? She's going to be angry. Very. And that's going to suck. Yeah. Because that's just your mom. Yeah.

And this is not the first time she's pulled crap like this either, is it? No, she likes to hold a lot of stuff over my head i mean one of the things that she merely told me when we talked about this a little bit was that she's taking care of me for the you know no that's her freaking job she's a mother i changed your diapers oh you travel agent for a guilt trip unbelievable yeah yeah this this let me i know why she's divorced uh--oh. Goodness gracious. Oh, my goodness. Calm down, Dave. Calm down. No, man, because this is just wrong. I mean, this is a 24-year-old daughter.

Come on, lady. Have an ounce of morality. Have an ounce of ethics in your life instead of pulling this crap. So, yeah, Kayla, you've got to be very kind and calm and very strong and just say, Mom, I know you're not going to like this, and calm and very strong and just say, Mom, I know you're not going to like this, and I'm sorry. It's not really – I can't affect what you decide. All I can tell you is that we've decided 50%.

I've always paid 50% of the bills. We've always known it was 50%, and that's not going to change. If you want to cash this check, we're going to do it together at the bank, and 50% is going to go in my account, and 50% is going to go in your account. It's not negotiable, Mom. Yeah, not. And be prepared for her to be angry and do her guilt trip dance and all the stuff that she does.

Yeah. Do you have any siblings or someone in the family that can go and have that conversation with you that can really have both your eyes back, saying this is the right thing to do um no i'm the only i'm an only child but my dad um she just got the work from her second marriage so my dad i mean we're all on pretty level yeah but that her ex is not going to make her do the right thing. Yeah. I don't know.

It's just a hard question. I don't, I mean, I understand she gives me the trip of like, she has to restart and my boyfriend and I have to do it. No, no, no, no, no. I don't really care. It's almost like a- I don't really care about her problems. Yeah. I don't care about her problems.

I have somebody else. And don't allow your mom's problems to become your problems exactly you know those are your mom's problems for a reason as long as you can say this is an unfair situation for you to be in at 24 years old i'm so sorry you're there yeah i'm begging you to do what you know in your heart is the right thing and to do it with great strength and with great kindness and with great courage and with no expectation of anything from her except a negative result. She's not going to be happy and you know that. But if you make her happy, you're going to regret it the rest of your life

that you caved to this woman that's a bully. And it's just it's sad that your mom is acting this way i'm so sorry for you but please do the right thing and make her do what she's supposed to do i mean it's just it's so hard it's so unfair to have to fight that battle when you're 24 years old it is there it's just some people's parents you know wow that puts us out of the dave ramsey show in the books thanks anthony o'Neill. Hey, thank you, Dave. Thank you, America. Thanks to James Childs and Kelly Daniel in the booth.

Great job. Great show today, of course. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there is ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast.

It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.