The Ramsey Show - App - Why the National Debt Shouldn’t Matter Much to You (Hour 1)

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. We help people build wealth, do work they love, and actually learn to like hanging out with each other. They build great relationships. I'm John Deloney, joined by Jane Warshaw, and we're taking your calls on just about anything. Life, work, money, relationships, all of it. 888-825-5225. It's 888-825-5225. Let's run out to the NYC and talk to BEN. What's up, Ben? How we doing?

Hi, how are you? Thanks so much for taking my call. You too. What up? Okay, here's my situation. My wife and I are in our late 30s. We live in a New York City suburb. We have two children, nine and five, and we have a third coming in November. My wife

and I have both worked at the same place for the last eight years. It's been really convenient. It's just 10 minutes from our house. They've had on-site daycare for the kids. And up until now, we've managed to be a one-car family. We have a sedan that we paid for in cash. A job opportunity came up for myself, which is going to be a significant income increase.

But also, at the same time, we had some leadership changes at our institution, and kind of this was necessitated as well. But the new job will be a longer commute, 45 minutes to an hour, and it'll necessitate having a second vehicle now, not to mention with the third child, we're feeling a little bit cramped in our car. We've received several recommendations from family members and friends, and we're looking at minivans, either the Honda Odyssey or the Toyota Sienna. My question is, given the kind of funkiness of the used car market and the inflated prices, does it make more – sorry, I'm sorry. The last part is that when I leave my institution,

I'm going to be getting a $35,000 check. That's after taxes for all of my unused second vacation. My question is, we've got a couple of options here. We can pay for, we should be able to pay for a used Honda Odyssey with 38,000 miles or so entirely in cash. We could get a new Honda Odyssey, pay most of it in cash and have a small, you know, finance, or we could do the Sienna, which is more expensive. However, it's also a hybrid. The mileage is almost twice as good as the Odyssey. So you're a guy, you've done your research, like you've dug into this very, very deeply, which is good.

Yes. I'm just, yes. I'm just not quite sure how you do the math here and what makes more sense. You should kind of buy use with the cash or does it make more sense to buy new even though it's, you know, based on what you've said, you're starting to feel the pinch of what's going on. There's enough things to stress about. You've got a child coming on the way. You're switching jobs, longer commute, adding debt to this equation, I think is not the move. I'm never going to suggest going into debt over anything, especially a car that you can get something really, really great and pay 100% cash for. So that would be my first note of advice to you is do not go into debt over a car note and over a vehicle. My second question is, do you have any other debt?

Just the mortgage. Just the mortgage. Okay, yeah. Then I would, and do you have three to six months of expenses set aside? Yes, ma'am. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, I'm not going into debt over a car when you've got cold hard cash sitting there burning a hole in your pocket.

Have you done the, it's not really a math equation. You seem like a guy that is really good with a spreadsheet. Have you actually driven to and from your new job at the time that you'll be going? Here's why I say that. Not at the time. That's a great question. Yeah. Not at the time I'll be going, but I just sort of Google map data. It should be somewhere between 45 and an hour without, you know, later in the day. You know, I can make it there in, you know, 25 minutes without the traffic. Okay. I think it's worth, if you can sneak away, just giving it a shot and making that drive.

And here's why. There's some data that suggests the longer the commute, really the worse all of your health outcomes become over time. And I have personally just, Huberman calls it anecdata. Just my experience has been the longer my commute, the more chaotic my life tends to be. And the more you got a third kid coming in and you're going to be in the car two hours a day now. And so a conversation with your wife may include, if we take this job and it ends up being amazing and we have a third kid, do we have a conversation about 12 months, 18 months that we start thinking about? Are we going to move closer to this job? Is this going to be a long-term solution, et cetera?

But that doesn't solve your problem right now. But I do think it's worth a conversation. No, I think you're right on. I've been, like I said, I would be about to lose my job at my current institution just because we had a leadership change. This, I'm going from 100,000 a year to 150. I guess I'm kind of, and it's also a VP title,

which I didn't have before. I guess I'm kind of approaching it as this could be like a two-year thing and then kind of use that title change to help find something closer to home, some remote opportunity, something like that. Okay. Are you in the university setting, by the way? I am. Yeah.

You're using the coded language that I used for 20 years. Well done, ma'am. Oh, really? Yeah, very good. Yeah, I mean, I'm with Jade. I wouldn't borrow. Absolutely wouldn't take out a loan on that. No, not at all. All right. Let's run out to, welcome to Miami and talk to Jacob. What's up, Jacob? How you doing? Thank you so much for taking my call. You got it. Hey, we're up against the clock. So hop right into your question. What's up, man? Awesome, man. So, um, so my question is I have about $40,000 saved up

in my bank. Um, I have a couple of debts, um, and I would like to purchase a home within the next six to 12 months. Um, my question is kind of just, I don't know if I should pay off the debts or if I should continue to just grow my bank accounts for that down payment. How much debt do you have? So I have almost $12,000 in a personal loan from a debt consolidation that I did. That's at a 23% interest. Yeah, what else? I have a car, a brand new car I just got.

I owe about $23,000 on that. Jacob, what you doing? What are you doing? Going into more debt when you have a debt consolidation already? So the debt consolidation, like it was consolidated, and now I'm just paying off that loan. I know, but then you went and got into more debt with this car. For sure, for sure. I needed a car, i didn't yes but

you didn't need a brand new car dollars in the bank you didn't need a brand new car and you certainly didn't need to go into debt for i'm calling you out on it because the reason i'm calling you out on it is because i don't want you to end up in a situation where you're having to do debt consolidation again and what we've learned from this and i want all the viewers to listen up what we've learned from this situation is I want all the viewers to listen up, what we've learned from this situation is debt consolidation does not break the habit of taking on debt. And we've just now seen it here.

It just moves it around. It makes you think you've done something. So Jacob, to answer your question, I would take the money that you have. I would pay off your debt. What's your income? I'm bringing about 80 to $90,000. I have a full-time job that brings in about $50,000 to $60,000, and then I have a couple of side jobs that I do.

Let's take that $40,000. Let's pay off this debt today. I want you to keep $1,000 aside, whatever's left. Add that with your three to six months of income, and I don't want you taking out a mortgage until you've got the correct amount down payment saved anywhere between 5% to 20% where the payments no more than 25% of your take-home pay. You're broke. You can't afford a house. Pay your debts off, Jacob. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer,

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a medical event. So listen, y'all, there's no better way to take care of health care costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget at chministries.org slash budget. This is the Ramsey Show, 888-825-5225. So I'm holding an article here from cnn.com written by Nicole Goodkind. The headline is is u.s debt rises to 33 trillion as government shutdown looms article begins as the u.s debt passes 33 trillion in a government shutdown looms wall street feels defensive the shutdown could sour sentiment and deal a blow to an economy already dealing with high gas prices, auto worker strikes, and elevated inflation, with some saying it could even increase the

possibility of a recession. Let me be real clear. If the government shuts down, you're going to see catastrophic losses across the board because the world depends on one thing, the United States to pay their bills. And we have a group of grownups sitting in a sandbox throwing sand at each other and they're going to set off a bomb in the name of ha ha ha or an Instagram post or in the name of a soundbite for the next campaign. And they're going to what a catastrophic mess. So, Jade, when I see U.S. debt rise to 33 trillion, This is me just being honest and vulnerable with my friend here in front of a couple of dozen million people. Come on. It sets off an anxiety in me.

Does it? If I dwell on it, it will make it hard to breathe because I'm doing what I can in my home and I'm looking at the world. I got a seven-year-old little girl and a 13-year-old boy. I'm looking at the world they're inheriting. And it makes it hard for me to wrap my head around the world they're going to be living in. Because a bunch of adults act like such immature, bratty children and have created such a quagmire.

And I see this number going up and up and no matter who you vote for whatever side you vote for everybody's lying to you so they can get in and do what they want to do help me help me 33 trillion dollars is a lot of money i mean and here's the thing i can't do anything about it i mean when i see things like this i i'll be honest i'm almost on that exact opposite spectrum of you i don't bat much of but that much attention to it i mean i see it and i go that sucks that's bad um but you can only control the controllables and for most of us that's looking at our own house like these are the times a lot of times we're like zoom out zoom out this is the time where i'm like zoom in like zoom in and don't look at the giant

statistic don't look at the big scary monster zoom in and go okay what's my part in this am i participating in this do i have a say in this can i control this and what can i control do you know what i'm saying absolutely and i think i get a lot of peace out of that of going okay i i know where my power lies and i know what control i have and that over there has zero to do with it yeah because i can't do anything about it right i can't do anything about that all i can do is make sure i'm not contributing to the problem make sure you know because all of this is connected it's all connected and as american people we what we do affects the economy that affects national economies, that affects

all of this, US debt, global economies. And so play your part, like shoot your shot and play your hand the right way. And for most of us, that looks like handling your financial household as well as you possibly can, being a good steward of the money that you have. Because here's the thing, no one can point the finger at the government and no one can point the finger at red or blue if in their own house it's a hot mess right and we already know that most americans that's that's what it is so instead of getting so like and i'm not yelling at you but i know you got your stuff together no but it but it's good because it's it's i'm allowing myself to be distracted yeah right i'm allowing myself to be distracted and to be frustrated at things that I really can't do.

I get a vote every two years and I get a vote every four years. And that's, that's the game that I'm in and that's the game I get to play. And so I get to make my vote. So this reminds me of a call Dave and I took right after COVID. Maybe it was 2021, early 2021. And it was from a school teacher in new york who i mean the

lockdowns were very severe and we're teaching an elementary school i don't remember exactly what she was teaching but an elementary school teacher on on zoom and she just looked at her student loan debt which i think was a hundred thousand bucks she owned a bunch of money owed a bunch of money and she just said i'm done and she worked like a maniac she got up before the crack of dawn and drove and delivered food she got she taught all day she worked until late late late late yeah and she just burned through and paid it all off like she just said i'm i cannot do this and so i want to challenge people i I love what you're saying. Like control, you can control. We say that all the time. So here's me doing this in real time. I feel this. My body feels $33 trillion in the fear I have for my little girl and my little boy.

Also, I also feel the fear of our elected officials acting like freaking children. I'm going to shut you down. I'm going to shut, I'm going to take my ball and go home of our elected officials acting like freaking children. I'm gonna shut you down. I'm gonna take my ball and go home instead of getting in a room and saying, hey, I don't care who wins, because if you win and I lose, we all lose. Can we help solve this problem for this country, please?

So instead of that, I'm gonna feel those feelings, they're real. Sure. And then I'm gonna go do the next right thing, which is make sure I don't owe anybody any money, sure my neighbors are know that i'm a resource for them if they need some support and vice versa and i'm gonna keep my eyes open for other people i can serve and love and i'm gonna turn the news off and um i mean it's that i'm gonna double down on relationships because what else can you do right it's that cliche that going to double down on relationships because what else can you do? Right. It's that cliche that we hear. It's on T-shirts, some mugs.

It's you being the change that you want to see. You cannot point fingers and say, oh, look at them. They're doing this. These are terrible people. These are horrible. Are you a good boss? Are you a good you know, are you a great person to work with? Are you a great spouse? Are you handling your money? Like that's what we have to do is look back and go okay i can't just keep throwing stones i've gotta do the best that i can do for me in my house and set an example the more you put in the world light pushes out dark that's all i'm saying yeah man and remember

i don't get political it's funny you're striving not to get political i'm striving not to get spiritual because i i go straight i go straight to the top on stuff like this. I'm like, oh, what is your hope truly in? But that's a conversation for another day. That is true. All right. I'm going to, yes, we're going to get ourselves canceled talking about politics and Jesus. I know, right?

Let's go to Orlando where they've got it all together and talk to the great and powerful Jared. What's up, Jared? How you doing, guys? Hey, I agree with both of you. Awesome. I know, but which one's more right? One of us is a little bit righter, Jared.

What's up, man? I'm feeling your frustration more than the other one. I'm doing good. I am somewhere between baby step three and baby step four and hoping you guys can get me in the right direction on that. Yes. So we are a single income family. And over the last year, we moved across the state, switched jobs, sold a house, bought a house. A lot of craziness.

So buying a house, moving in, we wound up, you know, we planned for fixing some things and we had some cash set aside from the equity of the last house to roll into that. So that all handled itself fine. And then, you know, there were a few more things than we thought as it goes. So we went a little further into the emergency fund than my plan had been with switching jobs and everything. So right now we're sitting on about five months of four walls expenses in reserve. And I'm working with a smart investor pro and he's telling me like, you know, you're in a very high demand field because I work in technology. Like you really don't need six months because he's trying to get me to invest. And I'm like, I hear you dude, but you're working on, you know, management

fees for me here. So you're not entirely an impartial opinion here. So I'm just trying to figure out like, is it supposed to be four walls? Is it supposed to be your regular expenses? Is it supposed to be a month of income? Like, what's the actual metric and what do I really need? Because I know single income, it's supposed to be six months. Yeah, Jared, you're asking all the right questions. And thank you for asking that because I know plenty of people looking at our YouTube or listening to this on podcast are wondering the same thing. And we really do it based off of basic expenses, not necessarily all the way down to four walls. But if you were to lose your job, lose your income, how much money do

you need to keep your household ticking? I'm not talking about getting your nails done. I'm talking about keeping your household ticking. So for most people, you know, you can go through and see what that's going to be. In your case, you've got a single income. I'm going with six months of expenses. Forget what that advisor is saying. You're right. He's trying to get more money quicker. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, joined by Jade Warshall. We're taking your calls on just about

everything. 888-825-5225. Let's go out to D.A.N. Dan in St. Louis, Missouri. I don't know why I'm spelling everybody's name today. I was out too late last night. What's up, Dan? How are you? Dude, we are rocking on to the break of dawn, my brother.

What's up? Question I got for you. I've been divorced for about seven years. My current girlfriend, I've been dating her since I've been divorced for about seven years and my current girlfriend, I've been dating her since I've been divorced for about seven years. Just kind of curious. She's, you know, I guess traditional and I am too in a sense, but she, you know, I've been pushing to get married. I don't have anything against marriage or anything,

even though I've been divorced. But I guess kind of my main issue with it is, you know, I just, I became, you know, wealthy here, you know, recently, probably in the last, you know, five years. I have my own company that I run, and I'm very successful at it. And it just makes me think of, you know, if that's a smart move. I've been through the court system. It's not fair.

It's really not fair for anybody. You know, they're just bloodthirsty, you know, tyrants. And I don't really ever want to be in that situation ever again. You know, I know you can do prenups and whatnot, but in the end, those things are, you know, like toilet paper in a sense. I mean, they're not, but let's, what is it about your girlfriend of seven years that you don't trust? Well, it's not that I don't trust. It is, it is, it is, it is.

You don't trust her. Because you built a life for almost a decade with her, yet over here, your language is, I've become wealthy. So you've created a life of your own inside of this seven-year relationship. Why don't you trust her? Is it because you got burned bad with your ex, and you're dragging that old relationship? No, actually I didn't.

No, I didn't get burned at all through my ex i actually got burned through my parents okay and it's still kind of ongoing in a sense but um it's just it you know in a sense it's it i don't know i just i i have this life that you know i want to travel the world and do these things, and I'll be able to do that. And it's not a responsibility. Both Jade and I have traveled the world with our spouses, and it's been infinitely better than traveling around by ourself. Yeah, because when I went, I wasn't like,

Sam, this is what I can afford to do. Sorry, you can't come because you can't afford to do that. I wasn't like I'm gonna ride on this plane you ride on that plane and I'm gonna stay in this hotel because I can afford it and you stay in that hotel uh that's you know a couple stars smaller and I get to eat at this restaurant because I can afford it but you've got to order the side salad do you see how kind of crazy that sounds yeah I understand and I've been wrestling with that for years. But it's also a thing, too,

where it's like, I've risked stuff and I've worked my ass off to get where I'm at and I don't want to give that up. Okay, stop right there, though. Stop right there. Challenge that thought.

Give it up to who? Is the woman you've been with for seven years the kind of person that will take you for everything? She'll do you wrong. She'll cheat on you. She'll steal from you and take half of your stuff and take off. Is that who she is? No, she, no. Okay, then why are you carrying that story around? Because I can't wait to get wealthy with my wife as my partner. I can't wait because I've met a bunch of miserable, wealthy, single dudes.

I understand. You know what I'm saying? It's been tough. I've worked so hard and so long. She's been with you. She's been with you for all five of those years. Well, can I pull another thread on this? Well, the first question I have is, how wealthy are you?

Well, I'm 41. You know, I don't know. I'd say probably like 1.2, 1.5. Okay, good. Someone in there. The thing is, a lot of my wealth is in my company because everything I have, I own. Of course. And, you know, I own my house.

I own my cars. I don't owe. I hate loans. I absolutely hate loans. And I refuse to ever get a loan. And that's the threat I want to pull. Something about what you're saying about you, you believe the opposite is true about her. Because you keep saying how much of a hard worker you are and how much you hate debt. That's making me believe that you, that's why I want to know

more about the fiance because you're not married yet. So you don't have to do anything yet. But if you can be honest, I don't know if she listens to the show, but is there a part of you that's like, hey, I feel like she's not a hard worker. I feel like she doesn't have the same views as me on debt and money. Like, can I pull that thread a little bit? No, she's actually a hard worker. She really is. But in life to be successful, you have to work harder on yourself than on your job is what Jim Rohn would say. And I'm a fluent listener of him.

I never thought I'd be ever taking advice from a dead man before, but the guy was amazing. I listened to a lot of his stuff. Hey, Dan, Dan, I think you need to break up with your girlfriend today. You don't think that you guys are on the same level? Set her free. Well, I don't. I know you're not going to and i know i'm just a knucklehead on a podcast i get that on the radio but you don't trust her you don't have a you want to have this this life that you're creating alone

yet have her as a hood ornament you you, I'm not trying to do that. No, I think we're able to build, you know, as a team. But you keep saying, I, I've built this money. I've done this stuff. This is mine. I don't want anyone to take it from me. And you've been with the same woman for seven years. And, and let me add to that,

what I would be listening for, let me juxtapose it with what I would be listening for on a healthy side and john you're you're the guy who knows this so one of the things I'm good at but he adds so much to the equation like you're constantly balancing each other out I haven't heard you say one good thing about her you haven't said or one thing that she brings to the table or how she's an asset like I'm looking for that sort of language so well I mean she is you know the other thing too is is you know i have you know two girls that are almost grown and she has you know two boys that are almost grown here's the the here's the equation that i'm really stuck in and i'm just having contemplations about really the whole thing is my business i need to get a commercial you know shop okay i need i need a big

place because i've been running this out of my house and I've exploded my house. My house is my work. It's too much. I have to sell and I need to move forward with this. I've been wanting to move to either Tennessee

or Texas or something because I just got a calling to go to either one of those two places. I really love Tennessee, been there many times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get to what you're talking about. So, you know, she doesn't really want to move.

Okay, that's it right there. That's it right there. That's it right there. Unless she's married. Unless she's married, which I understand. I totally understand. You don't want to marry her. You don't want to marry her.

You don't want to marry her. And you're not, you should not marry her just to get you to come with her you should not marry her for that no no i understand that but it it's dragging the kids and you know resetting everything and and getting a bigger you know like a you know you got six people girlfriend girlfriend if you're listening go it's time to leave it's time to go on because your guy is not. You gotta let her go. Here's why. You've been with the same person for seven years.

You can say what you want, but behavior is a language. You don't trust her. You don't want to build a future with her. You're annoyed at how big the house is going to get. You're going to have to get a shop. And she might not be called the Texas. And she's too traditional. All these things.

And I believe you probably did get burned hard. And it's the worst. And your parents are still a mess. You got kids involved. I get it. Let her go. Don't drag her behind the car of your life. We'll be right back.

888-825-5225. This is the Ramsey Show And if you want us to tell you to break up with your girlfriend Give us a call 888-825-5225 So Jade we were just out in the lobby And if you come visit us Here at Ramsey Headquarters in Franklin

Just south of Nashville You come get some free cookies And coffee and drinks or whatever. And there's a bookstore here and we'll take photos and sign your books and stuff. She didn't give us permission, so we won't say her name, but somebody told us a cool story out there. Yeah. She was like, I was making $40,000 or a little bit more than 40,000. I heard you guys talking on the radio about it being important to get your income up. And most of us, it's just a few tweaks that we can make to really bring in more money. And she took that advice to heart.

And in a very short period of time, more than doubled her income and is making like 100,000 a year, right? Did I get that right? Okay. And so me and John are sitting there like, that is incredible. Like your boss slapped her a high five. And I said to John, i said that what's amazing about her is that she was able to do that but what bothers me is most of us in society could

never tell the people in our circle something like that without them getting very weird right like how many people i mean think about it if you're listening in your car right now you're watching on youtube think about the people count you're listening in your car right now, you're watching on YouTube, think about the people, count on your hands, that if you doubled your income tomorrow, you could call them up and be like, dude, let me tell you what just happened. Think about the people that you could tell in your circle, hey, I just became a millionaire today.

Think about the people in your circle that you could tell and you know they would be happy if you said I paid off my house today. For most of us, we don't have that. We don't have it. We have a culture addicted to entering rooms,

butt cracks first. And here's what I mean by that. Hey, how was your weekend, Jade? It was fine, dude. The kids were, my husband Sam was, and because if I say, hey, how was your weekend?

And you're like, freaking awesome. Freaking awesome. It was awesome. Like husband helped out. He was great. The kids and we had a great weekend. Yeah. I'm going to roll my eyes and go, oh, it must be nice.

Must be nice. Dude, I wish my wife would be. Oh, I hate that. Yeah, it must be nice. Hey, dude, guess what? I just did some re-imagining of my home business. And within a month, I've doubled my income. Instead of running around screaming together, it's like, oh like oh that must be nice I had to do this project or better yet John

what if we were the type of people that if somebody says hey I just doubled my income what if we were the type of people that said really how'd you do that how'd you do that how did you do that because I would love to do that. That's a whole other level of maturity of just like personal acceptance to be able to look at somebody else, congratulate them first, ask how they did it next. When you look out over the skyline in New York City and you think, look how tall those buildings are. How'd they get so tall? I want to build a tall building.

I want to be just like them. Yeah. When you get to that level of, I just want to be just like them, you'll find it's much easier to knock a building down than it is to build one. And it's so much, it's so much faster. It's so much easier to dismiss somebody's joy than recognize the gap in your own life and say, I'm not there. I want to get there in my marriage i want to get there with my finances i want to get there with my relationship with my daughter yeah how do we get there let's do that let's do that and not even making an roi how do i how do i

how do i but just good for you good for you good for you i walked out of the building the other day and uh one of my buddies walked up he was like i mean it had nothing to do with the conversation he's like yeah we paid off our house the other day and i could have turned flips i was so excited like i i was ready to do cartwheels like you know like let's frolic in the field and like jump up you know like that scene in rocky where they're on the beach and they're like high-fiving like that was how i was feeling in my mind i was like this is amazing good for you and that is the type of culture that you should be creating with your friend group with your family members like because here's the thing if you can talk about that kind of stuff you can talk about

the other stuff too no one's gonna if you can't tell someone the good stuff then they're not your friend they're not your friend you shouldn't just have to you shouldn't be in relationships that all you can do is complain together that's exactly right because then your community is formed by who y'all hate together and then you get our current political system which is has nothing to do with solving a problem yes it has everything to do with tearing your idea down yes there is no hey we just need to figure this out and so if it's all about complaining complaining complaining it's all about oh we hate them and it's them and it's those folks instead of dude let's do something amazing yeah i remember there's no room for solutions either And so if it's all about complaining, complaining, complaining, it's all about, oh, we hate them. And it's them. And it's those folks.

Instead of, dude, let's do something amazing. I remember. And then there's no room for solutions either. No. Well, the only solution is you can't have a solution. Your solution is stupid. Because then we can't complain anymore together. That's right. And you got two football teams playing defense and the ball never moves.

Man. Because I'm trying not, yeah, anyway. I remember, and I'll get choked up, so I got to be careful. I remember my last book goes number one. I had a run of speaking gigs. I had just a run. And I come from a family without a lot. And my wife comes from a family without a lot.

Four hardworking parents that worked their butts off, didn't have a lot. And it was just a wild year. And Dave is super, super, super generous to us. hard-working parents that worked their butts off. Didn't have a lot. And it was just a wild year. And Dave is super, super, super generous to us. And I called one of my friends back home, and I said, I don't have anyone to tell this, but here's what our year was last year. And dude, he... His name

was Todd. He cheered on the phone. And he's like, dude! And he said, I know how hard you've been working. and and they made fun of me for years because he was the one that made the most and the other one of my buddies made the middle and i was always the guy with all the degrees that was working at the university making less than him and dude they cheered and cheered and it was just like dude and then it was like you're and then it ended with i'm never buying dinner with you again and fair enough

he's my buddy. Of course he's going to rag on me. Right. But it was that moment that I had somebody to call and just say, Hey, can I just celebrate this with you? And he's like, Oh, it'd be my life's honor. And when my mom one day gets sick, I'm gonna call him too. And he's going to weep with me. That's what friendship is, right?

That's what connection is. I love that. I have a couple of friends that I can tell them whatever's going on. And it's that same feeling and for anybody listening i i want to challenge you not to shrink back because when you're in relationships where you feel like you can't come into the room like you said if you have to come in butt crack first is a problem if you can't come into the room as you fully are and feel celebrated and want to be celebrated then it's like why would you shrink

back around those people and some of us we feel it with our family right you can't you came from yeah you came from a certain family and it's like oh you think you're really something now you know you're getting ahead now you know you don't come to the family reunion like you used to you know it's that kind of feeling and we immediately feel like we have to and my friend gets on me all the time for this she's like j, you're constantly like dumbing, like bringing it down and be like, oh, that's not that big of a deal. Oh, well, you know, stop doing that.

You don't have to dumb it down for those folks. If they don't get it, they'll be all right. They can go kick rocks. They'll be okay. You do not have to dumb your success down. You do not have to dumb down the things that give you joy, that you've worked hard, John, like you said. You don't have to do that.

Start fostering that. If they get uncomfortable, that you've worked hard, John, like you said, you don't have to do that. Start fostering that. If they get uncomfortable, that's on them. I think that we should come in the room and- Face first. Face first. Not in a way that's gonna stick it to folks. And not like an arrogant idiot. No, not like an arrogant, but in a way that's like,

hey, this is bringing everybody up and this is just what we do. This is who we are. I love that. Dude, I love it. I love it. Hey, and by the by the way if you're like we always want this to be a community where you can share your wins it's not bragging it's not bragging so we want to hear from you guys leave it in the chats leave it in the comments uh put it on our social media tell us what you're doing tell us how you doubled your income tell us how your business is popping off tell us how you're

succeeding and we will always slap you a high five. It reminds me when James and I and Kelly kicked off my show several years ago in the basement, right? We're down in a basement studio. And I was so new to this whole thing. People would call and say, hey, my mom's got cancer. I don't know what to do. Hey, my wife cheated on me. I don't know what to do. Hey, my kid's sick. So often at the beginning, I would ask ask the question why are you calling me like i'm a strange and they would say to a person man i got nobody i got nobody to tell the hard stuff and as we're having this conversation i wonder how many more people don't have anybody to tell the good stuff to yeah okay i had a good week i had my first week where

i wasn't the depression wasn't so heavy and i i got out to. Okay, I had a good week. I had my first week where I wasn't, the depression wasn't so heavy and I got out and went for a walk every day this week and I got nobody to call. Yeah. Right? This is the first week since I finished chemo that I can go for a walk around my neighborhood

and my guts don't feel like they're gonna come out of my body. I get nobody to call. And so I talk a lot about loneliness. We talk a lot about loneliness, having somebody to call in an emergency. This conversation, Jade, and I'm changing my mind in real time. I think that the conversation, yeah, you got to have somebody to call in an emergency. Your body needs to know you're safe, but there's something to be said for, do you have somebody that you can

celebrate your life with? The little bitty wins. And everybody listening to this show, the big tough guys in the big trucks, the single moms with three kids and everybody in between, you're worth having people in your life that you can celebrate with. That's right. Go make it happen.

This is The Ramsey Show. We'll see you soon. Hey, what's up, guys? It's Jade. Look, if you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey Baby Steps, go to ramseysolutions.com and click the Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation. That's ramseysolutions.com and click Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation. That's ramseysolutions.com and click Get Started.