The Ramsey Show - App - Why You Should Pay Your House off Early (Hour 2)

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money. It's a free call at 888-825-5225.

That's 888-825-5225. Christian is with us in Louisiana. Hi, Christian. Merry Christmas. How can we help? Merry Christmas to you, Dave. I need your expertise. My wife and I are trying to decide if we want to go ahead and pay off our home mortgage. We've owned the house for about a year,

and we are in the process of expanding our business at the same time. Okay, and so you're debt-free other than your home? Yes. You have your emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. Yes. And you have the extra money to pay off your house, which is how much? Approximately $200,000 in a self-directed investment account. Self-directed IRA? No, just, you know, stocks and mutual funds of my own accord.

Oh, I see. So you have $200,000 in an investment account, simply done. Okay. And your business is expanding and you need to spend what on it to expand your business? Well, we have about $80,000 in expansion expenses left to go as of this moment. Okay. Is there any money in the business to do that with? We've got the $80,000 set aside in cash. In addition to the $200,000 in investments? Correct. And the balance on your the $200,000 in investments? Correct. And the balance on your mortgage again is how much?

$215,000. Okay. So these things are not in conflict with each other. You have the money to do both, correct? Correct. And why wouldn't you? Well, I thought you were probably going to tell me. Well, you know, there really is no specific reason other than I want to make sure, you know, there's no unforeseen business expenses during this growth process. So that's what I'm trying to calculate, you know, what the best decision is based on that.

And what's the net profits annually on your business? It's about $100K. And then, yeah, and then I have a position to make another $100K. So we're about $200K household income. How old are you? 36. What's the house worth 315 how long you had the business uh one year but the business has been uh she's had the business for for much longer but we're partnering

together now to grow it she and we've been doing that for a year your wife oh okay okay so the business has been in operation how long 15 years okay all right good very cool um i get your angst uh because you're you've you've seen some opportunity upside and you don't want to get in a cash flow pinch. Here's what could happen as your worst case scenario. You pay off the house, you use the $80,000 of expansion for expansion, and then you hit a bump and expansion goes slowly, or you have another opportunity and you wanted to grow it even more, but you just don't have the money right now.

Correct. That's really the only thing that's going to happen. You're not going to close up. It's not going to bankrupt you. You're not going to lose everything. You're not going to wish you hadn't paid off your house. It's not even going to come up. Because here's the other thing that happens that is hard to mathematically put your hands on

until you've actually done it and you've felt the feeling. What happens with entrepreneurial small business people when they have zero debt, house and everything, the decisions that they make at the office are different. Right now, you've got this mortgage hovering over your head in the background. You've got these investments that are going up and down, offsetting it over on the other side in the background, and you're over here trying to make business decisions. When everything is simplified and we have zero debt, we're not going to lose the house no matter what occurs with this decision, suddenly you don't take a lot of weird risks, but you play with a different level of confidence,

and it ends up showing up on the bottom line. I've experienced it, and I've watched it with Entrez leadership people that we've worked with for 20 years on small businesses as well. And so if I woke up in your shoes, I would pay my house off tomorrow, and then I could concentrate on one thing, not house off tomorrow. And then I could concentrate on one thing, not house debt, not investments. I can concentrate on this business. And you're going to spend the 80 that you've got more carefully. And you're going to watch every dollar and you're going to build up your liquidity back in the business again, probably in a year. You're going

to be amazed at how quick this thing grows. That's what I think is going to happen. Thanks for the call. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Thank you for joining us. Tanner is on the line in Oregon. Hey, Tanner, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. I appreciate it. Sure.

What's up? So me and my wife recently just got debt-free, and we're wondering what we should do with the extra money at the end of every month. We're wanting to probably build a house in the next two to three years, and we're trying to figure out whether we should just throw that money into the mortgage that we already have right now or just stockpile it up in cash and get ready for the expense then. Well, you have your emergency fund in place first, and then I would just go ahead and work your baby steps.

And, yeah, that means pay down the mortgage because a magical thing will happen when you sell your house. The money that you paid down the mortgage will be handed to you in a check at the closing. You're not spending the money when you're paying down your house. You get the money back. You're increasing the size of your equity. And it doesn't get away, and you're making about three, four, five percent on your money depending on what your mortgage rate is. Not a bad rate of return for liquid cash. Well, it's not really liquid, but for the type of situation you're in, yeah, I'm going to go ahead

and pay down the mortgage. Of course, that's going to precipitate that you sell the house to get that money out to do the building job, which is what I want you to do anyway. I don't want you to keep a house and end up with a mortgage over on the other side, and you end up being a landlord by default and all that kind of stuff. You pay cash for your rentals, so you're not going to keep the house that you're living in anyway. So it's going to sell. Whatever's left on the mortgage, of course, will be paid off. The balance, the equity will be handed to you in a check at the closing.

You move right along. That's exactly what I would do. Thanks for the call. We appreciate you joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. It is hard for people that have never lived without a mortgage to grasp that your shoulders loosen up, the strain around the base of your neck loosens up you didn't even realize that you were carrying stress but the borrower is slave to the lender 100 of the time you're not the exception you may not feel it because you have a nice master

or it's a small master. You don't have a lot of mortgage or something. That's fine. But when you have zero debt and you take your shoes off, you walk through the backyard, the grass feels different. It's a different way of living. It is really living. It is really living. In a season of giving, what better gift can you give someone in the coming year than a new job? Business leaders, if you're looking to add to your team in 2020, get started now with LinkedIn Jobs. At Ramsey Solutions, we post on LinkedIn Jobs because we know the right person will have an impact on our company for years to come.

And LinkedIn Jobs matches the right person with the right job. It's no wonder a hire is made every eight seconds on LinkedIn, and over 600 million members visit LinkedIn to make connections, learn and grow as professionals, and discover new job opportunities. So find the right person for your team and give the gift of a rewarding new career. Get started today and get $50 off your first job post. Visit linkedin.com slash Ramsey. That's linkedin.com slash Ramsey. Terms and conditions apply. molly is in north carolina hey molly welcome to the dave ramsey show hi dave thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? I have a question regarding the 401k.

My company currently offers the traditional and the Roth. I've always done the traditional. I'm 55 years old, almost 56. I asked my financial planner about either just going with the Roth 401k or rolling it over. He suggested because of my age to just continue with the traditional. Is there any reason that that makes sense? Yeah. I mean, it's probably borderline mathematically one way or the other at your age,

depending on when you're actually going to pull the money out. How much money do you have in retirement? In my 401k, I have about 240k, and I also have a small pension from my company, but it's like $30,000. And you're single? I am single. Okay. All right.

So, yeah, I'd probably just leave it alone. Probably would. You're going to use some of that money beginning at your retirement age. If we assume 65, that's 10 years from now. And here's the formula. Here's what you're looking at, okay? The Roth, of course, grows tax-free. The growth is tax-free. You already pay taxes on the

amount you put in because it's a pre-tax contribution. And the more the growth is, the more the growth portion of your investment is, the more it matters that it was Roth. And so if you start when you're 30 and you do this until 65, 96% of what's in your account will be growth. Only about 4% will be the money you put in. So the Roth is absolutely vital when you're looking at those numbers. In your case, most of what you put in in the next 10 years is what's going to be there. You'll get some growth on it in the next 10 years, but it's not going to be massive.

So more than half of what you put in from now until 65, or more than half of what is added to your balance, will be money you put in. And so the rest of it's taxed is all it amounts to. The growth is taxed or the growth is not taxed is all it amounts to. The growth is taxed or the growth is not taxed. And of course, you're getting the tax break now because you're doing a pre-tax investment in the traditional. So mathematically, I think your guy's probably giving you pretty good advice. You're right at the bubble. You're right at the bubble. Now, I would change the advice if you had $800,000 because you weren't going to get to them, you would be able to leave that Roth money alone and let it grow longer because you would eat off of the traditional portion of your $800,000 and your Roth money would just be left alone.

Probably never touch it yourself. It probably passed on to your heirs, right? But in that case, I would do Roth. But you're going to get into this 200,000 you're going to use at least some of the income off of it and your required minimum distributions your rmds begin at 70 and a half you have a requirement on a traditional to pull money out so you're going to get into this money i think you're probably fine just to stay right where you are you're right on the border but uh anybody much younger, or if you have a pile of money where you're going to

leave the money alone a long time, I would do Roth. For instance, I'm 59, and I'm doing all Roth everything, but I'll never touch that money. It's just going to grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow tax-free, because I've got plenty of other investments and other things, and I'm just going to let it sit there and just make a big old pile of money and be smiling that the government gets nothing. And that's my plan. So in my case, because I've got a larger nest egg, I'm not going to be utilizing that money.

Then it can grow tax-free over a longer period of time. That starts to make a lot of sense. I'm doing everything as Roth right now for that reason. So it's how long can you leave it alone a long time for whatever reason, and the longer you can leave it alone, the more you would lean towards the Roth. But I think in your case, probably right on the bubble mathematically, and I'd probably just stay with what you know. Thanks for the call.

Mike is in Massachusetts. Hey, Mike, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave, thanks for taking my call. Sure, what's up? So my wife and I are new to the program. We're about to start Baby Step 2, and we're conflicted on what to do with a car that we have, whether to sell it.

We have a couple thousand in equity on it. Whether to sell it, get something less expensive, and just drive it for a few years before we have, whether to sell it. We have a couple thousand in equity on it. Whether to sell it, get something less expensive, and just drive it for a few years before we upgrade, or whether we should keep it and add it to our snowball. Do you like it? Yeah, we like it. Okay. What do you owe on it?

$16,000. Okay. What do you owe on the other car? Or what's the other car worth? Her other car is a lease, and we actually just sold that. We're in the process of, you know, we're a little bit upside down on it, only about $1,500, but we're just going to, you know, put that up front now and buy her something in the, you know, $3,000 to $5,000 range. Okay.

All right. So you're going to have like $20,000, $25,000 tied up in cars if you keep it. What's your household income? Just under $150,000 tied up in cars, if you keep it, what's your household income? Just under $150,000. Okay, that's more than reasonable. We tell folks not to have things with motors and wheels all added together that's more than half your annual income because things with motors and wheels go down in value. And you're not.

I mean, you're not. You're closer to 10% than you are 50%. So you're in. I mean, you're not. You're not. You're closer to 10% than you are 50%. So you're in good shape there. The other question then is, can you be 100% debt-free except for your home in two years? And is the car keeping you from doing that? In your case, the car is not keeping you from doing it, even if you've got a bunch of other debt. It's not the problem. So how much debt have you got, not counting your house?

With the car, about $36,000. And you make $150,000, so you so you're gonna be debt free in a year yeah we had the rough calculations we have done you know if we really go at it we thought we could be debt free in about eight months if we sold the car and if we keep it maybe it extends it by five or six yeah yeah so about a year you know that's what i thought if you keep the car if you like the car i'd keep it pay it off okay it's not out of line it's not in the crazy column it's not like what you know it's not that right you did what it's not that car and you hear those cars you hear people call in with that car right i'm out you know 44 000 on my car i make 36 000 you hear that

call right and you just go what but yeah you're not anywhere near're not anywhere near that. You're just trucking along here. You're going to get it paid off in a year. It's a good car. It's not out of line. You've not got too much tied up in depreciating assets, things that go down in value. And so you're doing the right kind of stuff. I do want you to save up quick as you're out of debt

and move Mama back up in car a little bit in cash because otherwise give her your car or one of the two, because you said her car, because the federal law is mama gets a good car, if you didn't know the federal law. It's hillbilly law, but it's also Cajun law. It's a law in almost every neighborhood. So mama gets a good car. That's how that works.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. I love it. All right, Jim is with us in Florida. Hey, Jim, how are you? I'm good, sir. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world?

I just had a question for you, which is, is there a dollar amount that a couple would have in their 401k or retirement type accounts where you would decide, we're not going to buy long-term care insurance we're going to self-insure good for you okay well the average uh nursing home bill is a little over fifty thousand dollars nationally okay uh you probably can do in-home care that's very high quality for less than that, depending on the level of care you need. The average nursing home stay is about 2.4 years. Only 25% of the people that go into a nursing home stay longer than 2.4 years. So let's just round it up and call three years.

And if it's three years, I don't know, let's round up the 50 to 75. You want to? That's two and a quarter. That's your average risk then, okay? If that's your average risk, you wouldn't want to take that risk if you only have a half million dollars. Correct. But if you've got a million dollars, you could probably take that risk, right?

Yeah. In other words, you go in, you burn through two and a quarter you leave mama with three quarters of a million when you die i think she can make it okay that's what we're doing we're running so you know running a uh a self-insured scenario how much you got what's your nest egg size uh 1.9 million self-insured dude i plan to plan to. Save the money. And you'll probably end up buying in-home care, by the way. Higher quality of care, higher quality of life if you need some help at home, and you can pull it off. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. How often can you get the best of both worlds? Not very often, right?

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NMLSconsumeraccess.org. Equal housing lender. 761 Old Hickory Boulevard, Brentwood, Tennessee 37027. Ben's in Colorado. Merry Christmas, Ben. How can I help? Merry Christmas, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I have just a little bit of student loan debt, and then I of nervous about just shoveling big piles of money on my mortgage and being miserable for the next, you know, nine years until I'm 35.

Was not planning on you being miserable. The gazelle intensity stops after you're debt-free, accept your home, and have your emergency fund in place. You do need to run like your hair's on fire until you get those done, okay, because you're really living at the edge of a major financial catastrophe if you don't have an emergency fund and you still have a pile of debt. But when the student loans are gone and you've got your emergency fund in place, that's what we call baby steps one, two, and three. Have you heard me talk about that?

Yeah, so I've been watching you for about a week, and I have $18,000 in an emergency fund, and I have $30,000 worth of student debt that I can get paid off in the next year. Okay. Well, what we teach is Baby Step 1 is $1,000, and any money that you have above that should go towards your debts except your home. Baby Step 2 is you list your debts smallest to largest. Sounds like you've got $17,000 that you would throw at the $30,000

if you're following our plan, and then you would be debt-free very quickly. How much do you make a year? What's your household income? I make $81,000. Okay. And making $81,000, paying off the remaining $13,000 should be, oh, a matter of six months max, probably four months, and then you rebuild your emergency fund to three to six months of expenses. That's baby step three.

Now, once you've done that, then you let your foot off the gas. So by this time next year, you should be letting your foot off the gas and have a fully funded emergency fund with no payments but a house payment. Now, by letting the foot off the gas, I don't mean you start spending like you're in Congress again. I mean you live intentionally, you have a written plan, but you're doing things on purpose. And baby steps four, five, and six are 15% of your income goes to retirement. This is the stage where if you need to upgrade your car, want to go on vacation, upgrade your couch, whatever it is, you save up, pay cash for that, in addition to the 15% going into investments. If you have kids, baby step five is saving for their college, and six is paying off the house.

Now, people working that plan, in other words, when you get to baby step four, you're in more of a rhythm. You're in less of a sprint. Is that logical to you? Yeah, okay. Okay, once you're there, people working that plan are paying off their home. For the last 30 years, I've been doing this in somewhere around seven years. And the largest study of millionaires ever done in North America, we did. We completed it about a year ago, a year and a half ago.

Chris Hogan put it in a book called Everyday Millionaires. And one of the key data points that we found as we're studying the millionaires is the typical millionaire pays off their home in 10.2 years. And so it becomes an essential part of your overall net worth. And you have no payments anywhere. Wow, now you're in a position to really start building some wealth and be outrageously generous. And so that's where we coined the phrase live like no one else so later you can live and give like no one else. Keith is with us in North Carolina.

Hi, Keith. How are you? I'm doing well, Dave. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I'm 46 with an annual income of recently increased to about 160. Wow. That put me on a commute every day of an hour each way.

That's the only time to find your show. Gross. I've listened to it, and I've looked at our entire financial picture. We have about $72,000, excuse me 000 excuse me 66 000 in debt i have some whole life policies that if i cashed them all out would be worth 72 000 which we would then net about six thousand dollars in positive perfect so obviously i called my insurance agent and let him know the i guess bad news for him yeah And obviously he wants to set up a meeting and talk about ways we can get me out of debt but still continue the whole life policy.

Yeah, continue to pay him. Yeah, I bet he does. Yeah. Yeah. So he actually claimed that he doesn't make any residuals off of these policies because they're so old. I've had some, you know, starting in about 2003 and then another one a couple years later, et cetera.

Yeah. Except that his bonus is based on retention of customers. Okay. Gotcha. But either way, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. There's no reason to have a meeting with a guy. I don't have to have long meetings with people I'm firing.

Gotcha. It's a short meeting. So you don't have to be unkind, but it's just you're fired. I mean, we're moving on. So don't cancel those until you have proper amount of term insurance in place. Go to Zander Insurance and get you a quick, easy quote there, and then do cash them out because that's going to allow you to do that. Because the problem is they're making almost no money. The rate of return is horrendous. And when you die, you're going to lose $72,000. All they're going to pay is the

face value. And you've been paying extra for this cash value all these years, and you don't get it when you die. All they pay is the face value of the policy. The whole life policy is the payday lender of the middle class. It is an absolute horrendous product. Horrible product. They've been screwing consumers at an unbelievable rate for decades. No one sells that stuff anymore. No one advises people to buy that stuff anymore except people in the business. Whole life people are the only people that say. No financial planners.

Nobody that writes does what I do. There's nobody out there that says, oh, whole life is wonderful, unless they're in the whole life business. They're the only ones. And that should give you a clue that all the pundits, gurus, writers, bloggers, of any substance, anyway, that are out there, people who have had best-selling

books on money, no one goes, well, whole life has its place. And they all go, eww go it's gross it's horrible it's a payday lender so that's for you do what i want what you want to do what i would do is get my term insurance in place and get rid of that crap and i would not have a meeting with the guy writer is in georgia hey writer welcome to the dave ramsey show hey dave how you doing better than than I deserve. What's up? Oh, man, I'm 23 years old, and I actually just found out about you maybe last week.

I'm terrible with my money. I'm trying to learn how to budget better. I started the envelope system actually last night and broke down all my expenses, all my bills, and all my budget for it. I'm looking at my monthly income is about $3,000 a month, $2,500. And my pool expenses a month are about, I would say, $1,100, $1,200 is what I calculated out to. So I'm just trying to see how much I'm trying to save at least $5,000 and get out. I'm also in debt.

I got student loans, about $8,000 in student loans. And I'm just trying to see how much I should be saving a month to get these student loans out of the way as quick as I can. That's the only debt I have. Good. I'm just struggling to make ends meet, honestly. Okay. I really want to get on the right track. Yeah.

So you woke up and realized not telling money what to do means it just leaves. Absolutely. Yeah. That's good. I'm glad you're figuring that out. It says on my screen that you think you're bankrupt. I want to see how bad does it have to get. I mean, how much debt do you have to think before filing Chapter 7?

Okay. Well, a lot worse than where you are, sir. You do everything you can do. Bankruptcy and divorce are in the same bucket. You do everything you can do to avoid them because they're never pleasant. There's never a situation where somebody goes, I'm really glad I did that unless they're wacko. So you don't ever meet anybody who goes, you know, that divorce was the best thing ever.

Well, I have heard that. But anyway, it's just a hard process, and I wouldn't go through it if I didn't have to. Student loans are not bankruptable anyway. So how much debt? You have $6,000 on a student, $8,000 on a student loan, right? Yeah, and then I got a little bit of credit card debt. It probably equals out to $10,000. Yeah, good news.

Okay, well, you can get right through this, sir, and I'll help you. All right, Merry Christmas to you. I'm going to put you in Financial Peace University into the one-year membership, and it's going to put you into the nine-week class as well. It's all included, and I'm going to pay for it. It's going to be completely free, and we're going to show you exactly how to do a budget and exactly how to get out of debt, and you're not bankrupt, sir. You just need a plan, and you need someone to guide you, and that's what I do.

You hold on, and I'll pay for it. Merry Christmas. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Shannon is in Arizona. Merry Christmas, Shannon. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. How can I help? Merry Christmas. Thank you so much for taking my call.

It's an honor to talk with you. You too. What's up? Well, I have a little problem. I'm not sure how to handle it. My mother is 65. She just turned 65. She moved in with me in March because she didn't have another place to go.

I'm a single mom. I make about $40,000 a year. I'm trying to work your baby steps, and she doesn't seem to think that this is putting a financial strain on me. So does she have an income, Social Security? She gets about $700 a month, and she uses that for her car insurance and her car payment and some money that she owes to the IRS.

So she gives me about $200 a month, but that's including I pay her cell phone bill, and that's including groceries and everything else. Okay. How old are you? 39. Okay. And you said you make how much? About $40,000.

Okay. All right. Cool. And I have two daughters. And how old are they? 14 and 11. Okay. All right.

It sounds like that you have a real hard time telling your mother no. I haven't actually had that conversation with her. Ever? About anything? Yeah, I have. actually had that conversation with her ever about anything yeah i have this woman is a big is a big personality and she's used to getting her way am i wrong um no you're not wrong okay well um so is uh why does she not work? She doesn't want to. She says she's retired.

Okay. All right. Well, I would say this. Mom, I brought you in because I didn't want you to be homeless. I can't afford to keep you. You're too expensive. I have a responsibility to my own daughters and to my own pocketbook and my own future. And so you can stay for a few more months, but you're going to have to get a job and you're going to have to get your debt cleaned up so that you can move out because you cannot stay here the rest of your life.

You are not retiring and me pay for it. I don't have that kind of money. I love you and I'm really sorry that I can't just give you money, but I don't have any money and you're killing me. You're stressing out the situation so mom i love you so much i'm going to tell you the truth that is you're going to have to get a job because you're broke so that you can get a place to live you got six months june 1 you're moving and you know what's going to happen when you do that?

You know? Do you? No. Yes, you do. She's going to have what we call in Tennessee a duck fit. You ever seen a duck have a fit? No, sir. Isn't she?

For sure. Because no one tells her no, and no one sets boundaries with her. She does whatever she wants with her muddy boots and walks around wherever she wants. She's not mean. She's not nasty. She just never accepts no as a possible answer. And she's going to become a travel agent for guilt trips. Well, I changed your diaper.

You'd think you'd be grateful. Are you ungrateful? No, I'm not ungrateful, Mom. I'm broke. And I can't afford to feed you. I can't afford to take care of you. And you're able-bodied, and you need to get a job. And pay off your IRS and pay off your car

and build you a nice life so you can be a good grandmother to your grandkids instead of a parasite bringing down the future of your own grandchildren. I mean, you can be a little nicer than that. You should be, really. I'm being sarcastic. But, you know, you've got to deliver this message because you really can't keep her, can you? No, sir, I can't.

Yeah. This is going to be a very hard conversation for you. Because this is the first time you've ever done this with your mom, and you're 40 years old. I have tried to give her a 30-day notice, and she says I'm going to have to take her to court if I want her out. Well, we can do that. If you want to do that, we'll go ahead and do that tomorrow.

If that's the way you return my kindness of bringing you in so that you're not homeless, is that you're a belligerent witch, I can take you to court. I mean, we'll do that in the morning. I'll just go get a lawyer and we'll just get you thrown out in the street. That wasn't what I was trying to do. Mom, I was trying to help you. But you don't get to decide what happens at my house. God, this woman is belligerent. Who says that? I'm moving in your house and living there because you're so kind. And if you want me to leave, you're going to have to take me to court. What a jerk.

Yeah, it's been rough. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for you, kiddo. It's very tough. Hey, are you in a good church by chance? Yes, sir, I am. Okay, where do you live? What part of Arizona?

The Queen Creek area. Okay, all right. Yeah, so you're in a Phoenix suburb, right? Yes, sir. Yeah. Okay. Lots of good congregations around there. You probably ought to holler at your pastor and sit down and talk to him.

And maybe he can even help you reason with your mother. Because you probably need somebody in your corner to remind you that you're not evil and you're not crazy because you're not. You're not out of line here. And again, we're not just putting her in the street. We're just thinking, um, we're just thinking, you know, mom, this is not working. I just can't do it. And you can't accept that. And you've got to deal with your situation and you're able-bodied and there's no reason you can't work. And you're going to have to. You don't get to just retire and declare someone else is going to pay for it. That's not how life works. Hold on. I'm going to send you a copy of Dr. Henry Cloud's book, Boundaries. You're going to have to read it over and over and highlight it

and put little sticky notes all in it because that's what you're dealing with. It's very painful, very painful to have boundaries with people who refuse to accept boundaries. And you're going to have to have some people in your corner emotionally to walk you through this. I'm so sorry. It's harsh. But, you know, just hear real loud and clear from me. You are not the unreasonable one in this conversation. You are not the crazy one. You are not the ungrateful one. You are not a bad daughter. You are not a bad person.

What you've described here is just financial abuse. It's someone that's taken advantage of their relationship with you to bring you harm. And it's toxic as it can be. So I'm so sorry again. I wish we could have done it differently. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Thanks for jumping in. You know, we live in a weird generation. The 40-year-olds that are out there, the 50-year-olds that are out there,

we call them a weird generation. The 40-year-olds that are out there, the 50-year-olds that are out there, we call them the sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between taking care of their parents and their kids. And the good news is that the way to get rid of the sandwich is just get rid of the bread on both sides. You say, Mom and Dad, you need a plan. Son, you need a plan. None of you's living in the basement we have plans for our empty nesting years and um neither one of you all are living in the basement and matter of fact both of you move in we may just move out and sell the house you got a 30 year old in the basement and a 75 year old in the basement at the same time good

lord help us but uh that's what's going on out there and it's because neither group none of the people in the whole discussion are handling money well and so one of the one of your goals ought to be to change your family tree and declare that you're not going to be a burden on your children one of your goals if you're 24 ought to be that it's time to grow up and not be a burden on someone else as a matter of fact you ought to be a contributor to society not someone who takes from your parents this is the dave ramsey show This is The Dave Ramsey Show. the five most downloaded podcasts last year. To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration, subscribe today.