The Ramsey Show - App - YOLO Is Not a Sustainable Lifestyle (Hour 3)

Episode Date: December 5, 2018

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thanks for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. Open phones at 888-825-5225 that's 888-825-5225 deborah is with us in denver hey deborah welcome to the dave ramsey show hi dave thanks for taking my call sure what's up uh my husband and i bought some properties back in about seven years ago, and they're part of a development that went belly up.

So we got a really good deal on it. We had the intention of building on them, but it was cheaper for us to buy an already built house. So now we have these four lots sitting, and we've been trying to sell them for a while. We live in a town of about 10, people kind of a boom bust area so land moves really slow and we have this kind of harebrained idea to talk to maybe a builder and have them put houses on the land so that they would sell faster does that sound crazy? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it may be some modification of the idea. It's not crazy, but maybe a modification of the idea would keep you from being at risk. Number one, I don't think the builder will be able to pull that off because I don't think a bank is going to lend him money to build a house on somebody else's lot. Okay. going to lend him money to build a house on somebody else's lot okay and so um but it might be that um there would be a way to structure it where he can where you put in the lot and he puts in the house um that just but that puts you that puts you into a partnership and I'm not going to do that. So I'm trying to, what am I going to do here? It's not a bad idea. Maybe what you could do would be to sell the builder the lot and hold the paper on it

and agree that you would get your lot price when the property sells. In other words, you would finance it for the builder. Okay. I don't know that that matters, though, because honestly, a builder that comes in, most of them are going to go get a construction loan to build the property and to buy the lot. And so I don't know that that gives them an advantage of having you hold the paper on the lot. The trouble with our area, I actually live in Trinidad, which is four hours south of Denver.

We're kind of at the border of Colorado, so there's nothing around here. So as far as, like, finding contractors or people who regularly do developments, there's none of that. We're so small town. And so I was trying to think of some incentive to get a quality builder to get something done. Yeah, the problem is if they put something up, it may never sell, is what you're saying. Well, now the funny thing about our market is the real estate agent that we deal with says the market is empty of houses. They can't get houses listed fast enough for people to buy them. Because like I said, it's a really weird community

kind of boom bust. And right now they're on a pot boom, which is lovely. So I was just thinking, okay, so how do we... If there's a shortage of houses, I can't understand why builders aren't in their buildings. It is really odd. We had a couple of developments like so we bought this one from a development that went belly up there have been two or three developments we even had a jack nicholas golf course that went belly up after they built a few houses so they're like partially developed with utilities and streets and sidewalks, but then just no house.

Is that your property is on partially developed stuff? Yes, it's partially developed. It has all the utilities, and it's right next to the elementary school. So it's, like, fantastic property with great views, and that's why we bought it was to build on it. But you're convinced if there was a house on it, you would sell it. That's what we're thinking, yeah. And that's kind of what our real estate agent has indicated, that houses are going, land is not.

Then I would ask the real estate agent to find somebody that wants to put a house on it. That just isn't logical. Yeah, it's a weird community. Gosh, I don't know how to help you. I really don't. No, I don't think I would joint venture with a builder with all this other uncertainty going on around this development and around this market.

You've got a weird market, as you've said six times, and I don't think I want to be in that market even deeper and tied back into some guy who's deeply in debt and your lot somehow is in play here. So, no, I think it's just going to be a matter of you're going to take a beating on these things because you bought in a really bad location at a bad time. And so you probably just got hurt. That's my guess.

Either you hold them and you wait on something to happen. If they're paid for and they're just sitting there and you want to sit on them and just wait on it to recover, you can do that if you think it's going to recover. But you have to believe it's going to recover to go that route. You can't just be going, oh, I don't think it'll ever recover, but I'm going to hold them anyway. Well, that's not logical either. So you take your beating if that's the case.

So anyway, if you can hold them and come out that might be the best way but i just gonna require patience i think because you're in a mess i'm sorry hey thanks for the call open phones at 888-825-5225 being good with money does not happen by accident especially not in december yeah, Christmas, it's in December. So don't run up a bunch of Christmas debt where the January, February you hates the December you. If you want to win with money, you need to stick to a game plan, a budget,

like our 5 million every dollar users are doing. We've got the budget template all set up for you all you need to do is download the app from the itunes store the google play store sign up for a free account at every dollar.com takes about 10 minutes to lay your budget out and less than that to lay out your christmas budget yeah yeah you have to do this stuff on purpose. It's the only possible way. Brittany is in the Ramsey Baby Steps community and says, Dave, we just started Financial Peace University last week.

So far, we love it. We've been terrible with money. We really want to get on track and be an everyday millionaire. Good. Since we're new, we don't know what to do next month. husband gets paid every other thursday january there's three thursdays what do we do with that extra check we just want to start making better choices you do your budget each month with the money you have that month you don't do a template that works 12 times. You say, in January, what have I got? In January, what's my income?

In January, what are my expenses? Because your expenses are different in January than they are in December. You don't have Christmas in January. You don't have people coming to visit in January, maybe. That kind of stuff. But maybe you've got a higher heat bill. I don't know. Whatever it is. In January, what have we got?

In February, it'll be different. So that's what it amounts to. You add up, you know those three checks are coming. That's at the top of your page. That's your income. And then every one of those dollars in your every dollar budget needs a name. And if you're in Financial Peace University, you've got every dollar plus. So it's

connecting to your bank account and working. That's how this works. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Can you believe this real estate market? Home shopping has become so competitive. There's a ton of new buyers in the market, and bidding wars are the new normal. Folks are under a lot of pressure to offer more money to get into that house. Don't do that. Get certified instead.

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Jeremy is in Houston, Texas. Hi, Jeremy. How are you? I'm doing fine, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Yeah, my question is I'm a PNC insurance agent here in Texas.

And first of all, I want to say I'm a huge fan of yours. My wife and I are following your steps and just finishing up with 3B. Cool. And it's been instrumental in our lives and our relationships. So I really appreciate that. But my question is about insurance, oddly enough. With disability insurance, I understand that you recommend it, and I believe in it myself and recommend it to folks.

But what I'm asking is in relation to my business and as I build my team, my income is not necessarily dependent on my personal production, and I will receive an increase in income year after year basically without my production. And so I know that disability insurance is dependent on a loss of income. So I'm wondering what your recommendation is to me as it relates to disability insurance. Well, you're right. As you build your book of business, it becomes recurring revenue. And the only issue you have is just attrition with your book.

If you quit adding more to it than is losing because you weren't working, eventually the book would erode, right? That's correct. Yeah, but I love your business because of that. It's a tough business to start in, but, man, when you your business because of that it's a it's a tough business to start in but man when you get that thing rolling it's a wonderful thing because it's so freaking stable i just love it so um the um yeah i mean that may lower your need for it but you just look at it like you would look at a life insurance equation and says, okay, do I need life insurance because of this?

And do you have enough assets to take care of your family? And this is an asset. Your book of business is an asset if something happens to you, right? That's right. So I think your need for it is probably lowered. And if the book got large enough, then it's a big enough asset. You actually, if you became permanently disabled to the point even you couldn't function at

all, your wife could sell it, the book, right? That's correct. And probably use that money to take care of you guys. So, I mean, if the book became worth a million dollars market value, then, yeah, you can self-insure through the disability need at that point. The thing is, if you can get disability through one of your carriers or one of your associations or whatever you're tied to, the Association of Independent Agents of Texas or whatever it is, I don't know. I'm making that up. But it's not that expensive usually. Now, if you're looking at having to pay a lot for it,

then it changes the discussion. But ours is limited here. I can't insure. Well, I can insure, but I don't insure more than $300,000 of income on any of our team members that's the most income that our disability if we get it up higher than that the policy becomes

unmanageable cost wise but from $300,000 and down we actually furnish it to our entire team it's the only thing I furnish only insurance I furnish 100% of well I furnish the identity theft insurance too but as an employee benefit because it's just not that expensive in that situation where i've got 800 employees so anyway you look at it and see what it costs if the cost is

prohibitive then yeah you can limit it the better your book gets the more you can dial it back the bigger your book is and the more stable your book is the more you can dial it back. The bigger your book is and the more stable your book is, the more you can dial it back because it's much like you're acquiring rental properties. The more of them you own, if you had, you know, 40 rental properties that were all rented and cash flowing and something happened to you, well, your wife could either sell those properties or she can collect the rent and you guys will be fine. So could you self-insure through disability insurance at that point? Yeah, you could, and that's the same kind of a discussion.

But I really wouldn't just walk away from it if it's inexpensive. I haven't. I've got $300,000 on me, and obviously that wouldn't even touch my income. But I think it uh you know it's there because it's part of our corporate package and in our company is why i have it and again it costs the cost is almost nothing in comparison to the benefit so it's a very inexpensive kind of insurance unless somebody's trying to stick you because you're a small operation or you don't have a way to tie into a group purchase of some kind. So it's a cost-benefit thing.

That's what you're looking at. The more it costs, the more I'm going to worry about this discussion. The less it costs, the less I'm going to worry about it. I just do it and then look up someday and go, I don't need it at all. I'm not going to pay this few hundred dollars this year. I'm going to save it. Good question. It's an interesting philosophical way of looking at it.

That almost all insurance, eventually, you can choose to self-insure through. I talked to a lady yesterday, folks, here on the air. She was asking about long-term care insurance. You're 60 years old. Do I need long-term care insurance? My answer is always yes, which is nursing home insurance. I mean, nursing home stays you know 50 60 70 000 a year you can burn through 300 grand in about a heartbeat right and you can crack and

scramble a nest egg and typically papa goes in burns up the the statistics are daddy goes in burns up the nest egg and the nursing home bills and dies and leave mama broke and that's the typical scenario so yeah you're 60 years old you got three hundred thousand dollars saved you need long-term care insurance and so my automatic answer for her 60 years old yeah you need long-term care insurance but then she happened to mention that they have a 12 million dollar net worth 12 million dollars i mean i think she could probably pay the nursing home bill you know and still have plenty left and i don't think you can stay in nursing home long enough to come up come through $12 million. So I think they're going to be all right.

And do you want to self-insure through that and save that $2,500 a year or $3,000 a year or whatever that long-term care insurance bill is? And she's going to self-insure through that. Well, that makes sense. You can self-insure through your cars easy at that point. I could, but I've chosen not to. I've chosen to carry insurance on mine. I've been glad a couple times lately that I had insurance because it keeps the discussion different when something happens with an automobile.

But that's what you're coming down to is you're just always looking, can I replace this car and not blink? Can I replace this income because of death or disability and not blink? Can I cover this nursing home bill and not blink? Meaning it doesn't damage the other people that are counting on this income to work. And that's what we're talking about here with Jeremy. So good discussion. Good question. Randy's with us in Orlando, Florida.

Hey, Randy, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. I appreciate it, Dave. Thank you. Sure. Okay. Actually, I have two questions. First one, the main reason I called, I have an inherited IRA that I got a couple years ago. It has about $32,000 in it. I was wondering if it was worth my while to cash it out, pay the tax, and flip it into a Roth, where I can start contributing money to it. You can't contribute the money into a Roth anyway.

It'll be a separate account that you're adding to. So, I mean, you can do a Roth independent of this. Now, the only question is, do you want to convert this to a Roth by paying the taxes? Correct. I don't think you can. You could just convert. You're not flipping it out. You would just convert it to a Roth.

It's an inherited IRA, and so it's in your name. I think you can just convert it to a Roth and pay the taxes. I wasn't sure if I could or not. I would do that. You can't if you don't. You can't flip it out outside of retirement and then put it into a Roth. Because you have your annual limits on Roth, which is $5,500. $6,000 next year.

And so, yeah, you can't do that part. But you might be able to convert it where it sits. I would do that only if you're 100% debt-free house and everything. Gotcha. Are you? I'm debt-free house and everything. Gotcha. Are you? Debt-free, but not the house. Yeah, I would rather. The money you would have spent on converting that to taxes,

I would have spent on paying down the mortgage first. Okay, good. That's the answer I was looking for. Yeah, perfect. Thank you, man. We appreciate you joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's common

sense for your dollars and cents. These are real people making real decisions. This is stuff that really matters, actually. Wow. Go figure. Who would have thunk it? Yeah, I mean, these decisions you make, it makes a difference to whether you end up mediocre

or an everyday millionaire or an everyday decamillionaire. Ten million dollars. Where are you going to end up? What are you going to do to change your family tree? What are you going to do in the position to be generous at Christmas here? Merry Christmas from the Dave Ramsey Show. I just love it when the companies we work with make it a point to give money away, especially during the holiday season.

Once again this year, Zander Insurance will donate 25% of all sales from their ID theft protection plan in December to Operation Homefront. Operation Homefront is a very special organization that provides emergency financial assistance and housing to our wounded veterans and their families. To date, Zander has raised and donated over $300,000 with your help. That's amazing. And if you don't have ID Theft Protection, there's no better time to get it. Not only will you receive the smartest, most affordable plan available,

but you'll be helping those who serve and have sacrificed for our country. You can even give it as a gift. Visit Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. There's no better way to protect your loved ones while also helping those who protect our freedom. That's 800-356-4282. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Chad and Christina are with us. Hey, guys. How are you?

Dave, we're here. We're happy to see you. We're great. Welcome. Where do you guys live? We're in Little Rock, Arkansas. Cool. Welcome to Nashville.

And how much debt have you paid off? $151,000. $151,000? Correct. Very good. And how long did this take? 35 months. All right.

And your range of income during that three years? From $83,000 to $115,000. All right. What do you guys do for a living? I'm a physical therapist. And we own and I operate a CrossFit gym. Oh, very good. That's a good combination.

Very cool. Good for you. And what kind of debt was the 151? Well, it consisted of two student loans, two cars, a business loan, as well as a credit card. But we also cash flowed our wedding and his grad school. And a partridge in a pear tree. You guys were normal. Yes. You had all kinds of debt.

Correct. Just rocking along. How long have you all been married? Three years. Okay. So you got married and you add all this debt up that each of you had, and you went, oh, my Lord. And tell me the story. What happened?

That's exactly what happened. I sat down one day and tallied everything up, and it was ugly. Grew up in a very rural, small-town Oklahoma, very conservatively, and it just kind of stuck with me. So seeing that interest on the paper and the debt payments going out kind of made me want to throw up. So I couldn't let that continue. And I've been listening to your show about seven years. My parents tried to drive this home with me when I was a kid, didn't want any part of it. And then after college, come out in the real world and realize that things aren't going to be so easy if you continue on that path.

So it was time to make a change. Okay. You're newly married. You have a bride. And so you have to come over here to the kitchen table, look at this mess. Yeah, so that's the biggest part of our story probably. So that was when I tallied everything up, that was about five years ago. So two years of pretty much nothing.

We were still dating. We got married, came home, did not do a honeymoon, took cash that we got from the wedding and paid my truck off. Whoa. Uh-huh. So I was very intense, probably too intense. I was that guy that came home, let's sell everything, let's get rid of this. Crossfit for finance.

Crossfit for finance. Totally type A, type A personality. So she was not having that at the beginning. And then about halfway through, we did the class. And after the class, she was on fire. I was talking about it way too much at the very beginning. And now she's the one that talks about it like crazy. So we transformed her. And once she got on the same page, it was over. All right. Very cool. So how was your mind working through all this, Christina?

It was just hard switching from just a typical lifestyle to, you know, just having a budget and working as a team and really just focusing on our future. So that was the hardest thing for me. But once I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, I was just driving it full force. Let's just do this. Get it over with. Yeah. Very cool. Good.

Well, you're both goal oriented. So once you saw the goal, it's like game on. Yes. So what do you tell people? I mean, you're in the fitness world, and there's all kinds of metaphoric overlay here, I mean, for sure. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Okay, Dave, I've been thinking about this for three years, so I don't want to mess it up. I got notes.

All right. We'll go with the notes. I got five things. I'll go quick. First is you got to do a financial assessment, and then as soon as you do that, you got to do a maturity assessment. Saying that you don't care about your finances is going to come back to haunt you and YOLO is not sustainable. Number two, remove yourself from cultural norms. Stop using credit cards to get reward points.

Stop spending so much time on social media and use cash. Dave, I use cash like crazy, and I pretty much get at least 10% every time I do it. I would say at least once a month. Wow. We just did 600 bucks of maintenance on her car and ended up being $515 just because I asked if I could use cash. Yeah. And do you give me a discount? Yeah. Because it saves them 3% not running the card through the merchant thing. People don't want to pay merchant fees. Yes. Absolutely. Number three, this is the biggest one for me, is harnessing the fear of regret.

Three years from today, it's going to be three years ago. And so the time's going to pass anyway, and we just wanted to do this one time and be done. Might as well do it right. That was the biggest thing for me. I like that one. Number four is you've got to have a sense of urgency and also have a sense of patience. Here's your overlay that you were talking about. If you're overweight, nothing you can do today is going to give you a six-pack tomorrow. So you have to follow the process, remain diligent, and eventually you'll get there.

Fifth and finally, you've got to keep your head down and keep grinding. It's going to go a lot faster than you think. Yeah. Well done, guys. I love it. Appreciate it. Very good. I like those lot faster than you think. Yeah. Well done, guys. I love it. Appreciate it. Very good. I like those.

Those are good. Thank you. Very, very good. So outside of the two of you, who was your biggest cheerleader? Well, we have a really good friend. Her name's Kristen, and she's always been our backbone and supporter. So I just want to make sure that we- Give her the shout out.

Exactly. Was she in Financial Peace University with you? She did not. We actually had seven of us that went through it so um including that group of um individuals they were all pretty much supporting us um so it was it was easy to be around as well as his family too yeah you get some positive peer pressure around you sure you know people that have the same kind of goals cheering you on. That's important. Community is a big deal in transformation. Sure. It really is.

Well, way to go, you guys. Proud of you. How's it feel? Great. My shoulders have just dropped and relaxed. Yeah. It's so much better. He can sleep at night now.

I can sleep. The weight of the world, huh? Absolutely. 151,000 is a lot. It was no joke. And the biggest deal is her getting on board. And I kind of just pulled her by the hair. I mean, it was slow and me being frustrated and let's do this.

And like I said, I went about it the wrong way. But once she got on board, I mean, we did the last 50K in seven months, which doesn't really make sense math-wise, but it worked. Yeah, it was totally beans and rice. Oh, yes. It was game on. Our mattress is still on the floor in our bedroom. So bed frame, bed set, or bedroom set, all that's coming now.

I love it. Well, you'll be able to. I mean, you're making $100,500. You've got no payments. Baby step three is done. I've never seen $12,000 pile up that fast. Yeah, it's gone. Just like that.

Yeah, it's amazing. Because you've got the momentum now. Yes, absolutely. I mean, things are happening. I love it. Way to go, guys. thousand dollars pile up that fast yeah it's gone just like that yeah it's amazing because you got it you got the momentum now yes i mean things are happening i love it way to go guys thank you dave you're a huge inspiration huge i've been listening to you for seven years now driving to work in the morning tearing up listening to the callers and listening to your advice and there's definitely an emotional element to this and um just thank you for all that you do well thank you i'm proud of you guys well done thank you sir appreciate it got a copy Well, thank you. I'm proud of you guys. Well done. Thank you, sir.

Appreciate it. Got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Retire Inspired. Great. And the new one, Everyday Millionaires, coming to you in January. We're going to give you that as well.

Fantastic. Because there's no question you're on your way to being everyday millionaires. How old are you two? I'm 29 and she's... I'm 36. All right. Rocking, rocking, rocking. No chance you're not going to be millionaires.

Appreciate it. You'll be there before you know it. Well, very, very well done. Chad and Christina, Little Rock, Arkansas, $151,000 paid off in 35 months, making $83,000 to $150,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! All right. Here we go. Woo-hoo! Scream. Three, two, one. We're debt free. Yeah.

Woo-hoo. Love it. Way to go, you guys. Way to go. Absolutely awesome. Our question of the day comes from blinds.com. Find out for yourself why they are the number one online retailer of custom window coverings you get free samples free shipping and with new promos every month use

the promo code ramsey you save even more gloria is in georgia i'm on baby step two thinking about changing my health insurance during open enrollment i'm tempted to just go the lowest premium highest deductible plans because i want more cash in my check and i'm pretty healthy any advice um i would probably do that especially if it's an hsa which is probably what your highest deductible lowest premium plan is and because usually what happens is once you hit that high deductible with those there's not a copay after that. Most HSA plans pay 100% after the deductible. And so if you're pretty healthy, even if you had an event, you're only going to have like a $5,000 or $6,000 crisis, not a $65,000 crisis. So I think that's a good plan, and you don't have to do the savings aspect of the HSA. It is not required.

You can do that later. But just take the HSA, the health savings account type plan, which, again, is typically a high deductible, low premium, but 100% pay after. Not all of them are, but that's the typical plan. So learn about your plan. Know what you're getting into. But if that's what it is and you're pretty healthy, that's what we've run for years. We just took that risk is what it amounted to. And in some cases, we could afford to take the risk later on.

But early on, we're in your situation. We're still trying to just get out. And we took the risk and held our breath. This is the Deb Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, Galatians 6.10, Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Ron Tracy said, Be the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily,

even if you had no title or position. There you go. And then that will make you a leader christine is with us in los angeles hi christine how are you hi i'm good how are you better than i deserve how can i help very good um thank you for taking my call you've just helped me tremendously i started your plan in august and i have a quick question for you. Okay. So I'm on board with the Dave Ramsey plan, but my husband is not. He believes in, like, making the minimum payment and keeping the money in the bank. So my husband and I, ever since we met and moved in and all that, we do our finances kind of funky. We keep our expenses, income, and bank accounts completely separate. We do

everything 50-50 down the line. We make about the same amount per year. So my question is, I'd like to eventually, you know, after I finish baby step number three, to pay off our mortgage early. However, both of our names are on it. So I'm not sure. Can I make an extra payment and deduct that from the balance that I owe or just save up the full amount and then make a big one-time payment to pay it off? I'm not sure how to go about that. Yeah. Or if that's even possible or anything it's not it's called joint and several you're liable for all of it not half

right and so um and he's liable for all of it not half of it and so there's not a your half his half that's the problem with trying to operate a marriage like a roommate. Right. And so how long have you guys been married? We've been married since February, but we've been together and living together for 11 years. And so the problem is living together put in place a pattern of operating that is now bled over into your marriage that is incorrect. Correct. Because here's the problem.

There's a lot of data out here statistically that says you guys have problems coming if you don't get on the same page. Number one, on the financial realm, it's very difficult, not quite impossible, but very difficult to build wealth doing what you're doing. Okay. Number two, it leads to relational problems because, you know, you're just leading separate lives. Right.

You know, the preacher says, and now you are one, but you're not. Right. He pronounced you guys a roommate. Right. And now you the preacher says, and now you are one, but you're not. Right. He pronounced you guys a roommate. Right. And now you are a joint venture. You know, that's the way this sounds. And so you're not sharing your future in your checkbook, and so you're not sharing your future. And that tends to happen.

Sometimes it takes 10 years to bleed out. Sometimes it takes 20 years to bleed out. Sometimes it takes 20 years to bleed out. But it always bleeds out eventually, meaning it always ends up harming, most of the time irreparably, the relationship. The trend line on the data is just devastating. It's not to say it can't be done, but you are really on an uphill battle to build wealth and have a high quality marriage doing what y'all are doing so i've got to just be your friend and say i i'm gonna demand as your friend that you guys not do this anymore that the two of you that you that you fight the fight you don't want to fight and and he have the discussion he doesn't want to have that you have got to get on the same page and combine your finances and if that requires marriage counseling, that's fine.

And the problem is you've done Dave Ramsey so enthusiastically that now I'm a cuss word in his head. True. I've paid off quite a bit of debt since starting in August. And you've been enthusiastically chasing after this thing, and he's tired of hearing about it already to the point that it's making the communication of this difficult. The idea of combining it, very difficult. But I think you've got to back up and start again and just say a conversation that says that it's just concerning me a lot. I understand I've been enthusiastic, and I understand I've been fired up, and I understand that that's off-putting to you probably.

But this thing of us not handling our money together makes it feel like we're not really married. And I really think we're going to have to work on this. And if we need to sit down with a coach, a marriage coach, a marriage counselor, to help us get on the same page, then let's spend the money to do that before it becomes a crisis in your relationship. Right now, you guys have masked over it because what happened was you got used to it when you were living together. And when you're living together, it's probably the best way to handle it. Let's keep it separate because you don't have the legal protections of marriage. But once you're married, you've got legal protections from each other,

and as a matter of fact, they work against you in this situation. They work against keeping it separate. For instance, the mortgage thing we're talking about. You can't pay off half the mortgage because you owe the whole thing. He owes the whole thing. Because they view you, the law views you as one, as married, joint and several. That's what the law says. And so that's one.

And you're joint, but you're one. And that's the issue. So instead of trying to figure out a way to make this bad system work, I would say I'd spend my energy working on the bad system and say, what have we got to do to begin discussions, negotiations, whatever it is, and love each other well enough to say, I'm going to spend my life with you, and so I need to handle my money with you. And my money is your money, and your money is my money.

And how are we going to do that? Because that says you're mine and I'm yours. That's a different level of commitment. That's a marital level of commitment. And that's really what you're up against here. And so, you know, from a Christian viewpoint, Jesus said your treasure is where your heart is. So where you spend your money is where your heart goes. So where you spend your money is where your heart goes. And when you have two different directions that your hearts are going, that means your hearts aren't together. You're not unified on your goals.

You're not unified on your fears. You're not unified on your value system of what savings means and what debt means and what giving and generosity means. And when you're unified on that, then we're there. Sharon and I just prayed about last weekend a sizable gift that we were doing from a generosity standpoint. And, you know, we had to talk it through. And it forced both of us to look at our feelings about things. It forced both of us to have other discussions that weren't even related to the gift.

But it was a sizable thing, and it was enough money that it caused both of us to sit up straight, you know? And when you sit up straight like that and you're paying attention, it forms your relationship and your marriage. So I know a lot of people think they can run separate accounts there's just no data that says you can and there's lots of data that says you can't and i've been doing this 30 years the number of times i've found someone that raises from nothing and the couple is married 10 20 years years, 30 years, and they've got 10, 15 million dollars and they didn't do it together is almost zero. The number of times I have someone do a debt free scream here on the air. We paid off one hundred thousand dollars in debt.

We paid off two hundred thousand dollars in debt. We paid off our house and the spouse is not on board is almost zero. It's almost zero. And I'm not just preaching at you, Christine. I mean, this is just a good subject for our whole listening audience to really grasp and grapple with. And it is the danger of living together before marriage because, again, you set patterns in place

that now you're having to reset, and you have 11 years of doing it as roommates. And now to discuss doing it as a married couple is weird. But if you were never living together before, and you just said, hey, we're getting married, that means we combine everything. The preacher says, and now you are one. And the old marriage vows say, unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge. I'm going to take care of you in sickness and in health. For richer, for poorer, you'm going to take care of you. In sickness and in health.

For richer, for poorer. You're going to take care of me. This is what marriage is. And there's something there that's really rich and really real. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

Hey, it's Kelly, Dave's phone screener. We finished 2017 with a bang as the fourth most downloaded podcast of the year. Thanks to all of you for listening and helping us spread the word.