The Ramsey Show - App - You Can Be Honest Without Being Gory (Hour 3)

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is done, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thanks for joining us. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is co-hosting with me today on The Dave Ramsey Show. We're answering your questions about your life and your money. So if you have relationship IQ questions with yourself or others, and certainly money questions, Dr. John and I will jump in.
Starting point is 00:01:04 We're going to start off with Sierra this hour, and Sierra is in Utah. Hi, Sierra, how are you? Hi, Daniel, how about you guys? Better than I deserve. How can Dr. John and I help? I took out a student loan my first year of school. I'm still currently in college, and I didn't qualify for one that didn't accrue interest. I now would qualify for one that doesn't accrue interest.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Do you think it would be a good idea to take out a loan to cover my other loan? When are you going to finish school? Two years. And how much is the loan that you currently have? $5,000. And what's the interest rate? $5,000. And what's the interest rate? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Okay. I can tell you, Sierra, I played the no Quincy's, no takebacks, loop-de-loop game where I took one student loan to pay off another student loan and then paid off a car. And I got so excited about the opportunity to make this move and do that one. And then I ended up in a big, big old mess. It's not much money. Okay. Okay. Let's just say it's 5% interest.
Starting point is 00:02:16 We'll just make it up. Okay. So five times five is 25, right? So that means your interest on a five thousand dollar loan is 250 dollars a year okay for two years so the whole discussion we're having is 500 bucks which does not solve a five thousand dollar problem so it helps i mean if you send me 500 bucks i'll take it it helps uh if i sent to you you'd take it uh take it. But I think it's more important than fooling with that kind of stuff that you just stay away from the loans in general
Starting point is 00:02:52 and that you guys lay out a budget and a game plan where you're able to cash flow the balance of your education with no additional debt. The $250 doesn't concern me one way or the other much here. And it's good that you're thinking about it, but you really can't borrow your way out of debt. It's okay to try. It's okay to move it if you want to, but
Starting point is 00:03:16 the problem is it kind of opens up the gate of what John was saying. Then the next time something comes along, I'll try that too. You just can't pay off your debt anyway except pay off your debt. You can't scheme your way through the end of it. And know the interest rate. If you're going to be a big kid and sign on the dotted line and take money,
Starting point is 00:03:37 know what you're getting into. Yeah. Well, it's a good idea now that you're there to know it too. So get it out and look at it after you get off the phone and let's know what we've got, what we're dealing with going forward. But that's roughly what we're talking about here. You know, John, I was looking at some footage of the interviews that were done, and there was actually video portions that we've not used yet
Starting point is 00:03:58 that we were looking at figuring out some things to do with from the Borrowed Future podcast series that we did, and you were a big part of that. Of course, George Campbell was our host on that. It's eight episodes, if you guys have not listened to it, on the student loan debacle that is out there, this pandemic of student loans that were there before the other pandemic got here, and completely out of control. The trillions of dollars, I mean with a T, and people getting, you know,
Starting point is 00:04:35 the whole system is just completely screwed up. To where we the people, the citizens of the United States, are on the hook for a program that Congress is so stupid that it continues to leave in place. Three million kids will go into student loan debt, new ones, this year. This year. And here's how stupid it is. We the people are so bad at banking that we will loan an 18-year-old $100,000 unsecured with no explanation as to what he's going to do with the money or she's going to do with the money,
Starting point is 00:05:17 no guidelines that it has to be spent on an education that's actually freaking usable. With no understanding of how it might be paid back, any other banker that did that would be fired for incompetence. But you and I as taxpayers do that every day. We don't let that kid buy a gun. We don't let that kid buy a beer. But here's $100,000. Go get them. Make good decisions. Make good decisions.
Starting point is 00:05:51 God almighty. Be smart. Here's $100,000. Be smart. Use your best judgment. That we have also collectively said you have none of. You don't have any. So we've made laws to protect you from yourself but here's a hundred thousand dollars go get them go get them we know you're we believe in you you can do this i had this thought about six months ago i was
Starting point is 00:06:18 thinking like other countries have you know a year of social service or two years of military prescription. I don't know if that was the right word. They make you be in the military for a few years. And we give you $150,000 and say, use this wisely, young man. Be wise. Use this wisely. Be wise, 17-year-old.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Be wise. And we'll give it to you about 70-ish or so to pay it back. Ready? Go get them. Sick them. Halfway through. Get a degree about 70-ish or so to pay it back. Ready? Go get them. Sick them. Halfway through. Get a degree. Halfway through.
Starting point is 00:06:48 You can have a beer. Go get them. Get an Ivy League education in left-handed puppetry. Go get them. Yeah. Go get them. Yeah. Let's go to a famous school and get a really dumb degree.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Sometimes when I'm just going for a walk by myself i gotta just shake my head say man i hope they colonize mars soon you know but but what we need to do is according to the politicians we need to forgive the student loans while we're still making them but we need to forgive them that's so intellectually that's just that's just here's the critical thinking skills of a politician that says let's keep making these loans while we forgive them america because they're bad so we should forgive them but we need to make them because they're good it's so intellectually dishonest it just shows that they have no character in washington so here you go to bro go go to listen to this podcast it will it will blow your mind how predatory sally may is how predatory navient is how predatory we the people are on our own kids no wonder college prices shot through the roof. They have an unlimited supply of money from stupid people.
Starting point is 00:08:07 This is ridiculous. You and me are the stupid people, not the kids, by the way. Yeah. It's just crazy. So, yeah, we've been calling on Congress to stop the student loan program. Just stop it completely. Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:08:22 Then we got another mess on the back of that one. Yeah, there'll be a bunch of broke college professors right after there's gonna be a bunch of broke cities a bunch of broke man oh man we've created a quagmire for ourselves yeah this is gonna be a little a little bit of a barrel of fish hooks here baby borrowed future check it out it's a podcast series eight lessons eight episodes you don't want to miss it. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. For most of us, health care costs seem to increase every year, and saving money on health insurance feels more and more out of reach.
Starting point is 00:09:02 For example, take the Olcheski family from LaGrange, Texas. Jeff and Carice had just celebrated the birth of a new baby boy. Shortly after, they had a health scare involving one of their kids that was completely unexpected. With today's healthcare climate, this could have bankrupted them. But thanks to Christian Healthcare Ministries, the Olcheskis were spared from a ton of medical bills. As members of Christian Healthcare Ministries, they're part of a group of believers who financially and spiritually support each other. CHM is the original health cost-sharing ministry and is a Better Business Bureau accredited charity.
Starting point is 00:09:35 It's biblical, affordable, and it shared nearly $97,000 to help the Olcheskis. To be a part of Christian Healthcare Ministries, visit chministries.org. That's chministries.org. CHM is a proud sponsor the Dave Ramsey Show, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, answering your questions about life and about money. If you have questions for John, you can always email him at askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. Eric is in California.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Hey, Eric, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. How are you guys doing? Great, man. Good. How are you? Good, good. It's a beautiful day. My question for you guys is, I guess about 10 years ago i decided she
Starting point is 00:10:48 didn't want to be married anymore and we had two kids and you know she had a year and a half affair with the coolest friend of ours that we knew together and since then i've been remarried wait a minute you're cut you're cutting you're cutting in and out eric can you speak directly into your phone please yes can Yes. Can you hear me? Yes, sir. So a year-and-a-half affair 10 years ago by your wife with a friend. Did you say that right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Okay. Yes, and we had two kids. I've been remarried. I have two more kids. But my question is, at what point do I tell the kids what happened? All right, my two. And the reason being is I've always just said, oh, you know, stuff happened.
Starting point is 00:11:27 I didn't want to tell them ever. My question for you guys is what age is appropriate? Right now they're 14 and 12. But at what age is it appropriate to inform them, I guess, what happened? Never. Okay. Never. They don't need to know that.
Starting point is 00:11:44 The rule you have is to protect your kids, and the rule you have is to honor their mom. What happens in that relationship is between you two, and if she's still in their life and present and a good mom, and she's doing the best good by your daughters, daughters what's the what's the point is it to show that you were right right or hey girls it wasn't me i mean what's that what's the impetus how does it bring healing how does it help the kids i don't know i guess it's uh more of a history thing. Yep. You know, that they understand their history from a spiritual standpoint. You know, the whole sins of the father type thing,
Starting point is 00:12:29 that it's something that's in their past and could be a future spiritual thing with them. No, that it's, it's, they're no more prone to having an affair because she did than, than my daughters are. No. And it sounds like you want to you got to search your heart on this deal dude and if you want to make sure that at some point they know that the reason you got divorced wasn't your fault um dude you got you got to let that go you got to let that go you're going to give them more insight in how to be married and how to be a respectful person and to be a person of character
Starting point is 00:13:05 by never talking bad about their mom regardless of how bad she hurt you and dude it's not like i can't even wrap my head around if my wife had a year and a half affair with one of my buddies um the amount of pain that would cause me um but you've been remarried now you say you've got two other kids i mean man put it down let it go let it go i've got a close buddy in texas and she she told me a story about um she she's pretty confident that her mom had an affair and all her dad would ever say is we just work better as friends and that's all he would ever say that's all he would ever say yeah they have no that won't do anything anything for you unless their mother is the one to tell them there's no point in me. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:47 And she's probably not going to. Yeah, just honor their mom and move on, man. Yeah, if she did, then it might be that she's teaching them a lesson to not make the mistake she made. That's her choice then. And there might actually be a benefit if she did. Oh, there'd be a great deep benefit. But for the daughters to hear from their mom that, hey, I made a mistake,
Starting point is 00:14:08 and I turned my life around after that, and I want to warn you it's not worth the pain. Don't make these kind of mistakes, that kind of thing. That would be valuable coming from her. Coming from you, it feels like hitting back. And it doesn't. If you wait a decade to hit back, that's just – man, that's the lowest of immature. Yeah. And I don't – you know, you're – he's asking an honest question.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Heck, yeah, dude. What a brave guy. I appreciate the call, man. Honest question. It's a good question. It's an interesting question, yeah. So, I mean, I think about, you know, as my kids, we've had some of the most interesting conversations now that my kids are adults, which I always love the oxymoronic phrase, adult children.
Starting point is 00:14:52 But, I mean, we've had some things where they tell us stuff that they did that we didn't know they did. Oh, yeah. You know, now it's funny, sort of. Twenty years later, 15 years later, 10 years later, now it's funny, sort of. 20 years later, 15 years later, 10 years later, now it's funny. That time y'all were gone, you remember what? Yeah, oh, I don't really want. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. But we're still not unpacking everything I did in college.
Starting point is 00:15:18 I can just tell you that. There's no reason to, right? It doesn't serve any purpose. No reason to. It doesn't serve any purpose. No reason to. It doesn't serve any purpose. I will say that's kind of a new trend now is the radical authenticity or we've got to be super authentic and super transparent. And then there's a way, Dave, that you can hurt people with graphic details. Well, you can be super transparent about where you are now and where you're going.
Starting point is 00:15:42 That's authentic. You don't have to go through the poop in your diaper to show that you're authentic. That's ridiculous. You can be honest without being gory. Ooh. I'm going to write that down. That's tweetable right there. I don't have Twitter.
Starting point is 00:15:58 That's the answer. You don't even know how to do that. I wouldn't know how to log into Twitter, dude. We're trying to teach him how to do social media. Social and media don't go together in his mind when this show is over i'm gonna go out on the hill out here and i'm gonna yell that line real loud and whoever hears it good for them drive on by america construction workers next door they'll get that i'm gonna yell it as loud as i can one more time what was it you
Starting point is 00:16:22 can be honest without being gory. Yeah. All right. There you go. That's good. It's good. That's a good line. You ought to actually use it where somebody can hear it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:31 I'm going to write it down. Zach is with us in Indiana. Hey, Zach. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? Thanks for taking my call. Sure, man.
Starting point is 00:16:39 What's up? So I'm actually a junior in college, but I'm going to be graduating next spring, so a year early. All right. And I'm going to eventually go to law school. So after undergrad, I'm going to have about $20,000 in student loans. And the law school closest to me typically gives full tuition scholarships to applicants with my credentials, like my GPA and test scores for the LSAT. Wow, look at you. Touchdown, stud.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Thanks. for the LSAT. Wow, look at you. Touchdown, stud. So I'm hoping that the only expenses that I would have to incur during law school are living expenses, which are around 20k a year, which would be three years. So my question is, should I go right into law school and potentially rack up 80 grand or more in student loans, or should I work for a few years prior and pay off my undergrad loans and then save up a little bit for living expenses during law school? Did you say law school. Did you say law school in your area? Yeah, it's only about an hour away.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Live in your mother's basement, dude. Yeah, I could do that. No student loans. Yeah, if you can get a free ride to law school, you out a way to eat the the jd is an extraordinary credential it'll change your heart and your mind and if you keep your head about you and you get a good community having a law degree is going to be one of the most powerful important way things you could have you can help people in ways that that no one else can you can serve your community you can do well by corporations you can help other folks out that's a gift if you can if you have
Starting point is 00:18:03 the credentials and this in the background to get that for free brother go get it yeah live with your parents if you're smart enough to get a free ride to law school you're smart to figure out a way to eat without going into debt i was smart enough not to put a stamp on a law school application it was not going to happen for me well you got two doctorates surely you could have done that man i was the dean of students at a law school. Those students were so brilliant and so smart, and it's another caliber of human. But, yeah, if you can knock that out, go get it. You're not going to hurt yourself by working and paying some stuff off and getting some life experience. I recommend you can't carry the load while you're working.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Right. It's very, very almost impossible to work a job. A full-time job. A full-time job. A full-time job and go to law school, especially in your first year. But you can work some weekends. You can figure it out. You can work some summers. And then once you get into your second year and you start clerking and you get into the real deal, then you can do it.
Starting point is 00:18:56 But, man, I've got nothing but respect for great lawyers. Go get it, man. I think you need to go to law school, but I think you figure out a way to cover your expenses without going into debt. No, you don't need to go 80 grand in debt. That's a default button that everybody falls into. They just go, oh, well, everybody does it. Well, you don't want to be everybody, dude.
Starting point is 00:19:16 You're already not everybody. And don't depose your mother ever. That's the rule. What? This is the Dave Ramsey Show. You may feel like there's not a lot you can control these days, but I'm here to tell you, you can control your budget and you can control what you feed your family. My longtime friends at eMeals are here to help. They have simplified meal plans and created new recipe collections such as easy pantry meals and freezer meals
Starting point is 00:20:06 utilizing basic ingredients. It has never been easier to shop smarter and stay on a budget. Try it free for two full weeks at eMeals.com. Dr. John Deloney is my co-host today on The Dave Ramsey Show. You can send him questions at askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. Askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. Ask John at RamseySolutions.com. Well, there's nothing like a global pandemic and the associated global suppression of economics to kick you in the butt and set your money priorities straight. This is the perfect time for you to have a never again moment. Never again will my family and I be in a situation where money is a problem.
Starting point is 00:21:12 If you had gone into the pandemic with zero debt and $50,000 or $40,000 or $20,000 in the bank, it would have been a completely different experience for some of you. It changes the level of anxiety you have money's not important but what it does is very important and um all of us have the opportunity to have never again moments in our life when i went broke it was my never again moment 30 years ago never again am i going to be in a situation where i'm looking at my babies and i feel like a complete failure as a dad as the electricity's cut off on the house i had a never again moment i'm going to learn how money works and i'm going to work it i'm going to find out from old rich
Starting point is 00:22:00 people not young rich people because i've been young and rich and he was stupid i want to talk to old rich people and find out how money really works, and I'm going to never again be here. Some of you are right there right now. And really, there's no shame in this being the time that you discover your never again moment. What would be the shame is, is if the next time something happens in your life, you aren't ready.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Because this was your wake-up call, so answer the phone. Answer the phone. For the first time ever, we're giving you a free trial of the Financial Peace membership for 14 days. People become millionaires when they learn how to get out of debt, stay out of debt, how to invest, and how to be generous. And we will show you these things. It's biblically-based common sense, education, and empowerment,
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Starting point is 00:23:41 Karen is with us in North Carolina. Hi, Karen. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, guys. Hey, what's up? I'm speaking with you. You too. Hey. How can Dr. John and I help? Well, I wanted to get your thoughts on something. I just closed on my first house this morning, and I'm trying to figure out the best way to let my mom know with hurting her feelings the least. Why are her feelings going to be hurt that you bought a house? Well, it's new construction, and I know that she's always wanted new construction, wanted to get a new construction home, and she never was able to get one.
Starting point is 00:24:32 And she's in Ohio. I'm here in North Carolina, and we don't have much other family left. And it's been hard not sharing this all with her why haven't you i mean if you if you go into this entire process i when you first called i could hear your smile through the phone that you closed on your first house thank you and within a second you can go back and watch this listen to the podcast of yourself on this show your whole tenor changed when you started thinking about your mom. Why have you had to hide this?
Starting point is 00:25:08 Why is she mad at you and not proud of you? I hope my kid has way more cool stuff than I've got. Well, unfortunately, about a year and a half or so after I moved to North Carolina, she started falling victim to scammers. And, uh, unfortunately through different things that I've seen and heard, I don't think that, uh, she's ever gotten away from falling victim to them, uh, and has been continuing to give money to them and information to them. In fact, at one point I saw where she had given her account number, her checking account number to them or to someone shortly after she had had to get it, a new checking account, which I, you know, went up to Ohio actually to help her do.
Starting point is 00:26:07 And so I felt like I couldn't, not because that she would, you know, intentionally give out information, but I didn't want her even unintentionally giving out information that that would upend the whole loan process. So you thought your mom would intentionally or unintentionally give out your personal information and your finance information below your ability to get a new house, and so you kept it quiet? Yeah. Okay. I don't think she would ever intentionally, but unintentionally, because unfortunately I'd seen evidence where she'd given out her information and information about me not to that degree.
Starting point is 00:26:56 So, I mean, this is just a boundaries discussion. First and foremost, your mom doesn't get a vote on your happiness. And I don't mean that in a negative way or an ugly way but if you have done the hard work and um you have done everything the right way by your set of values and you bought yourself a home and you are entitled to the smiles and the joy that you had in your heart when you first told me just a second ago that you bought this house. And my hope and prayer is that your mom is as excited for you as I am, as folks listen to this call.
Starting point is 00:27:37 And if she's not, that's her baggage to carry, not yours. The second thing is, man, you need to sit down and have a values conversation with your mom, right? I bet she loves you. It sounds like she loves you. It sounds like you love her yeah but yeah at some point there's some if it's so bad that you think she's going to give out your information and leave you in a financial hole then you need to do some things to repair that relationship and to and to help her out well and that's part that's part of the challenge because I've tried, and she will say that she's no longer speaking with them, but then because it was probably a few years ago.
Starting point is 00:28:21 How old is she? She is 81. Is she lonely there in Ohio? Yeah, she's lonely. Probably. I mean, she has friends there. And, in fact, a couple years ago, I had tried to help her out with some things and tried to bail her out and she said that she was going to bring her rent up to a date
Starting point is 00:28:52 and I didn't have to worry about that. I would tell you this, Karen. I would tell you this. The summation of the situation on your home is this. You've closed on it now, so any danger of identity theft by scammers, your mom giving up too much of your information and keeping you from getting the home isn't gone. So now the only thing is the 81-year-old lady who's lonely might not emotionally accept the fact that her daughter got a brand new home. But you still got a brand new home, and so we're going to give her
Starting point is 00:29:21 the opportunity by telling her to be happy for you. But we're also going to be prepared that she might not be. And either way, you still smile. You've got a brand new home. Okay? Okay. And you've got a mom that loves you, and she may just not know how to do it. She just doesn't know how to function well. She's not hitting on all cylinders.
Starting point is 00:29:40 And so she's getting scammed at 81. That's so sad. It makes me so frustrated. Oh, God, these people, man. But there's not, she's, as long as she's got her faculties about her, you can't. That's right. You can't, even if they're 81, you can't. Stupid is not illegal.
Starting point is 00:29:55 This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Please hear me loud and clear. The government is not going to bail you out of your student loans, at least not completely and not without a catch. What they're talking about only impacts federal, not private loans, and you need to take responsibility for what you owe and pay your debt down quicker. Right now, Splash Financial is offering their lowest rates ever And you need to take responsibility for what you owe and pay your debt down quicker. Right now, Splash Financial is offering their lowest rates ever. With lower rates and extra payments, you could just find yourself debt-free in the next five years.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Visit SplashFinancial.com slash Ramsey to see if you qualify. Our scripture of the day, Isaiah 57, 14, And it shall be said, Build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstruction from my people's way. Booker T. Washington said, Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles he's overcome. Melanie's with us in Florida. Hi, Melanie. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Quick question for you. I had to declare bankruptcy back in February because of a car wreck in 08. And I was in a car wreck. Now that's the whole reason I had to do bankruptcy. I got a settlement from this last car wreck, and I'm trying to figure out what to do with the settlement. Two car wrecks? Yeah, but they were like 10 years apart.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Because you had one in 08, and that bankrupted you in February of 20? Well, I never paid because it was a $50,000 judgment. And at the time, I was a single mom. I was more worried about keeping things over my daughter's head, keeping food on her, rather than paying a $50,000 car insurance. So what prompted you to file bankruptcy after 12 years? Because they suspended my license, and my license was basically, I was driving without a license for a few years, for like probably two years, because I moved to Florida, and the wreck was in Kentucky.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Okay, so now you've had another wreck, and you're getting a settlement from that. Yes. For how much? Yes. $15,000. $15,000? Yes. Okay. It was a $30,000 settlement, but after the lawyer fees and my medical bills were paid, I'm left with $15,000. Okay. What's your question? I'm trying to figure out what I should do with the $15,000. My student loan is the only debt I own. It's $44,000. Because of
Starting point is 00:32:46 everything that's been going on with the pandemic and stuff, I've been pretty much an essential worker. So I've been able to really save a lot of money, which I've not been able to do in the last few years. So I have five grand in savings right now. So that's going to give me $20,000 in essence that I have right now. I figure the $5,000 will go toward my taxes. What is your household income? Well, I think I make around $30,000. My boyfriend, he pays most of the house bills. I'm only responsible for the food for the family.
Starting point is 00:33:19 And so I basically just kind of take care of me and the food. And I make about $30. Okay. Did you say you had children? Yes, we have one. How old? She's 16. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:33 All right. Well, the goal is to walk through the baby steps, and let's get the student loans cleared as fast as we can. You said you think the settlement is going to be taxable? I'm sorry? Did you say you. You said you think the settlement is going to be taxable? I'm sorry? Did you say you think you have taxes on the settlement? No, no, no. Because what I do for a living, they don't take taxes because I'm an independent contractor. So I have to pay taxes at the end of the year. So I'm saving part of the $5,000 that
Starting point is 00:34:01 I've made in the last couple months to go towards my taxes. I know I'm not going to have to pay taxes on the $15,000. Okay. I don't think I have to. I don't think so. As a single lady with one child, you're not going to have hardly any taxes on $30,000 either. Okay. I mean, you need to talk to your tax preparer and let's figure out what your taxes are.
Starting point is 00:34:22 You need to be setting aside something out of every check for taxes because you'll have some, for sure, self-employment at a minimum. But then past that, so $5,000 might be a little rich. I don't know. You need to get it calculated and figure out what it is. And then after that, I'm going to be in the business of getting out of the student loan debt as long as your income is stable. And it sounds like it's more than stable.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Well, it's very stable we take we trade off on claiming her each year and i claimed her last year so this year i'll he'll claim her so i'll actually pay more money because i won't have the head of household i won't have her so just be a single soul my taxes will be more than he's her father yes yeah it her father? Yes. Yeah, it's kind of crazy, but she's 16. We've been together now for, I think, nine years. For the first few years of her life, he just didn't have his life together, and so I just, I moved on with our life, and I... What does he make? He makes around 70, 80. Okay. Well, you didn't ask but you called and uh so uh i'll tell you this as uncle dave what i would tell you to do is you guys are way overdue to get married and combine your life and combine your finances because really what i'm really talking to is not a single mom
Starting point is 00:35:42 making 30 what i'm really talking to is a lady who's basically married, who has $120,000 household income with a $45,000 student loan debt and $20,000 in the bank. And you and your husband need to get your crap together and pay off this student loan. I don't know why you're not married but it's leaving you completely vulnerable man exposed exposed you are so vulnerable and have been for a long long time so whatever excuse there is is not good for your relationship it's not good for your finances it's not good for your taxes it's not good for anything there's nothing here here. I mean, you have all the things going on of a marriage except the good parts. I mean, you're missing out on all the, I mean, the probability of someone in your situation becoming wealthy is very, very low. And the probability of somebody in her situation getting hung out to dry.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Is very high. Especially if he produces years of tax returns with the child on there with her name on it well yeah this is just um yeah well i mean he's he's claimed the yeah so anyway you do what you do what you want to do you're gonna do what you want to do and you didn't ask but you have a bigger problem than what to do with this settlement uh the settlement with i thought for a few minutes I'm talking to somebody making 30 grand, and that's just not the situation. I mean, you guys might have $100,000, $120,000 household income,
Starting point is 00:37:13 and you guys need to clean up your debts and quit treating this like a dadgum roommate because it's not. And you can't combine it until you're married. It won't make sense. You really get hung out to dry then so uh yeah i think the two of you need to start uh combining your finances combining your futures and saying i do i did we are michael is in tennessee hey michael how are you i'm good dave thank you for taking my call sure What's up? So about a year ago, I had a conversation with my mom over lunch. I don't
Starting point is 00:37:51 know what prompted this. It just popped in my head one day that if something were to happen to my mom or my dad tomorrow, then I wouldn't know what their plan was for a funeral or a will or life insurance or any of that. So I talked to my mom about it. I basically was trying to ask her, does she have any life insurance already? Does she have a will set up? And her answer to me regarding the life insurance was that she has a little bit. She's not sure how much, but it sounded more like she didn't want to tell me she didn't have any or how little she had.
Starting point is 00:38:26 And then regarding the will, she didn't have anything set up for a will. They don't have one for my mom or my dad. How old are they? My mom is 60. My dad is a few years older. I think he's 64 or 65. Okay. 65. I have somewhat of a plan that I have in mind, and I wanted to get your thoughts on it, to how to deal with this. So I want to have another conversation with my mom about it,
Starting point is 00:38:57 and possibly maybe as a Christmas present, pay for them to get a will. But I don't know how they will perceive that. Well, the first thing you do is you talk to both a will but i don't know how they will perceive that well the first thing you do is you you talk to both of them i don't know why you're setting your mom up to be the heavy here you need to sit down with both of them and just say guys you need a will i don't need any of your money i love you and i want to make sure your wishes happen upon your death and right now you're clueless and so you're going to leave all of us clueless and that's really not fair you really need to get your crap together now you'd be a little nicer than that but you need to just call them and so much so that i'm going to jump on
Starting point is 00:39:35 mama bear legal forms.com right now and i'm going to download a will i'm going to pay for it i'm going to help you guys get it filled out and then we're going to get a sign you don't have to leave me a dime you don't have to even listen to me you don't even have to like me but you're going to help you guys get it filled out, and then we're going to get it signed. You don't have to leave me a dime. You don't have to even listen to me. You don't even have to like me, but you're going to do this in some kind of form or fashion. I mean, you can be nicer than that, but that's the message. This is really not that big a thing. It's just people don't do a will, and it's just intellectual laziness. My friend John King, who's one of my best friends in the world, said,
Starting point is 00:40:01 the only reason to not have a will is if you hate your wife and kids. That's what he said. I love it. Yeah, because you will leave everybody behind in a freaking mess. Get a will. Get a will. MamaBearLegalForms.com. That puts this hour of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books.
Starting point is 00:40:17 John, thanks for hanging out. Thanks for having me. I love it. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey guys, this is Kelly, associate producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Did you know over 16 million people listen to The Dave Ramsey Show every week? And a lot of those people listen on one of our 600 plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, head to DaveRamsey.com slash show.

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