The Ramsey Show - App - You Can Control Your Inputs During the Pandemic (Hour 1)

Episode Date: April 2, 2020

Dr. John Delony, Career, Home Selling Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: http://bit.ly/2QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: http://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: http://bit.ly/2QEyonc Interview Guide: http://bit.ly/2BuGnZE Check out other podcasts in the Ramsey Network: http://bit.ly/2JgzaQR 

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Joining me this hour, newly minted Ramsey personality, Dr. John Deloney. We call him Dr. D. He is a mental health professional. I think that's probably accurate.

Done a lot of crisis counseling and is here to answer your questions. Maybe you are pretty afraid right now. That wouldn't make you unusual today. Maybe you're even beyond afraid. Maybe you're over into panicked or hysterical or whatever. And maybe you've got some issues with just relationships right now in the middle of all this stuff because there are so many people that the way the fear or the uncertainty in this situation manifests itself is they get mean. And some of those are your relatives or your friends, and you're dealing with some – maybe it's your boss. I don't your friends and you're dealing with some maybe it's

your boss i don't know maybe you're dealing with some stuff so we're going to take your calls about your life and your money and dr d is here to help with the life side for sure you know we're talking right before we went on the air that uh john that that the one of the things that people can't stand and you said you made a profound statement one of the things that people can't stand, and you said you made a profound statement, one of the things that people, the human psyche has trouble tolerating uncertainty, ambiguity. And you were saying, like, most mental health falls in that category. That's right. When you kind of distill down so much mental health challenges and mental illness, it's this idea of being untethered.

Uncertainty, ambiguity, what's tomorrow going to look like, what's tomorrow going to look like. Not knowing what to – there is – we don't need to predict the future in great detail for extended periods of time, but we need to have things that where everything's not moving. It's not an emotional or a circumstantial earthquake under our feet. That's right. And we're finding out – I mean, you find out where your identity is pegged into right and so if your identity is pegged into your six-figure job or your abs or your yoga class or

whatever and that goes away then all of a sudden everything's uncertain and everything's ambiguous and so it's finding out where you're going to re-peg your identity into it's really disturbing to find out that your yoga teacher does not have inner peace right now. I'll throw you off right now. Because you can tell looking at me, I'm big on yoga. Yeah, me too. I'm huge on yoga. Big yoga guy.

I touched my toes 14 years ago. I think it was good. I usually do when I'm putting my shoes on. Yeah, just finding ways to find certainty and ambiguity in each day right now, in each moment right now. And I think when Rachel and Ken Coleman and I did the message of hope last Thursday night, a week ago it's been now. Wow, that went fast. You know, what we were saying is control the controllables because that gives you a sense of power. That's right.

And also, it is all you can do anyway. You can only control you. You can only control your attitude. You can only control the money that you actually do have. You can't control when we go back to work. If I could, I would. I can't control when the virus goes away. If I could, I would. But apparently God has not given me the assignment of being God,

and so he's in charge of these things. And I can't control other people. I can't make someone behave. I can't make crazy not be crazy. I can't make someone who's being mean or nasty not be mean or nasty. I can't control those things. And, boy, I mean, there's a surrender to all that, isn't there? It's beautiful because then it really distills down what your day is going to be and

what your thoughts in your minds and your heart's going to be what are the few things on earth you can control yeah we told our kids when they were growing up we didn't allow them to say he made me mad you chose to be mad you chose to be mad now he's a little jerk and there's injustice you're going to choose to hit him back yeah dad may choose to to jack him up but um but but he didn't make you do anything you get you you have control over your emotions you're supposed to you have the right to it's one of the few things you actually do have complete control over you can just decide you can decide and you can and you can set them down, right? You can take the historical stuff, the current stuff, the fear, the scare, what that guy

posted. I'm just going to put it down. I'm going to let it go. Yep. Yeah, that's not going to define my day. It's not going to define everything we're doing. So tonight, our Message of Hope series continues with Dr. John Deloney. As I said last Thursday, Rachel Cruz and Ken Coleman and I did a Message of Hope

that is still posted on our Facebook page, and you can still watch it. Y'all did a great job on that. Thank you. It was rather long. It was 52 minutes. I think we were supposed to be shorter than that, but we didn't finish, so we kept talking. So there you go. You did a great job. But it's gotten millions and millions and millions of views. On Monday night, then, Rachel Cruz did an event, Message of Hope,

that went out over all of our social as well. Chris Hogan did on Tuesday night. Christy Wright last night. Tonight is Dr. John Deloney's. And so are you a little nervous about that? I mean, it's like one of your first big things as a Ramsey personality and like millions of people are going to see this is that is that freaking you out a little bit no the the um the video editing team is extraordinary you've got a bunch of picasso's down there they have taken a bunch of just ink marks and they have created a good picture there

looks good it looks good no these are the moments that um you plan your whole life for right you find yourself in situations and you get the right mentors and the right education and you quietly impatiently put in your time and you work and then all of a sudden um the this this moment happens and then your neighborhood says hey we need you to pick up a shovel and come help and so yeah it's a neat moment yeah we're very proud of you to be part of the team and proud of the message you've got to put out tonight. So mental health and relational during times of crisis

is what he'll be talking about tonight. So be sure and watch the video on John's YouTube and Facebook channels, on my YouTube and Facebook channels. You'll be able to see it on all of them, all of our Instagrams everywhere. We're posting all of these messages of hope across all of our platforms because there's so much negative out there we're trying to at least put some clean water in the glass love it at least put some hopeful something and it's not based in pollyanna we're not saying if you just think positive it'll be okay because it won't be just because of that. But 100% of the time that you think negative,

it doesn't help the problem. That's right. And so at least looking at it positively and going, okay, what, what can, how could this work out? How can we get there? What have we got to do? What moves have we got to make? What are the things we can control that we need to do? And people get a sense of power from that. I get a sense of power from that when I'm cornered and I see at least some steps I can take to get out of the corner, all of a sudden I've got energy again. And it's knowing that fear literally turns off the part of your brain that makes good decisions. It just shuts it off, right? Neurologically.

Right. So 1,000 years ago, if we lived in a cave and a tiger showed up, I'm saying this over and over. If a tiger showed up, we didn't want – our brain didn't want us going, is that a nice tiger? You think we could pet that tiger? It just said run, man. So it shut off the question-asking part of your brain and said get out of there. And so when a company like Ramsey circles up and says we're going to put a plan out there, we're going to put some positivity out there, and we're going to say you're right. Things are tough.

We have some steps you can take. And it lets that fear part of your brain shut down, lets your critical thinking come back online. And now we're going to go get them. Yeah. When you're panicked, you never make good decisions. And it's a neurological fact. That's an interesting point. It's biology. Biology. There you go. Dr. John Deloney with us this today and tonight on the Message of Hope series. We'll take your calls for him and your financial questions as well. The phone number is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. No matter what time of year it is, focusing on your family's financial plan is always a smart move. I get questions all the time about where to start and what to do first.

One of the most crucial and affordable first steps to take is to protect your family and get term life insurance. I know it's not glamorous, but all the other steps mean a lot less if something happens to you and your family has no financial protection. Getting term life insurance needs to be a top priority. Thank you. Take the time to help you find the most affordable term life rates. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. It's not that expensive, it's not complicated, and you need to do it now. open phones this hour as we talk about your life and your money.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you for being with us. Dr. John Deloney is with us as well, answering your questions about stress and life and boundaries and relationships. As we go through and answer your financial questions, he'll be jumping into those questions. I'll be jumping into some of his mental health questions and messing up the answers. The phone number is 888-825-5225. We're starting with Cameron in Kentucky. Hey, Cameron, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, how are you doing today, Dave and John?

Great, man. All right. What's up, Cameron? How can we help? Hey, thanks for taking my call. So yesterday was actually my wife and I. It was our third anniversary. And so I think it's played out the way we years ago when I spoke to you, Dave, we would have been out of baby step two by now. So we've been doing a lot of prayer and thinking over the past year or two about what biblical marriage looks like for our family.

And even before we were married, she wanted to be a stay at home wife and mom, which I supported. But, you know, I kind of wanted us to be out of debt first. Well, we're still in baby step two, but we're closer, you know, to being out of debt than when we started. But it's kind of come at some expense of mental and emotional health struggles with my wife and I and our marriage. And to the point, we're both to the point where we're not wanting to sacrifice those parts of her and our marriage because it's just so important so you know if i could hear you guys thoughts on that you know she's a talented woman she wants to monetize some things at home that and we really have a heart to be foster parents and you know in the midst of waiting for our own kids that we can see but she's afraid to

leave her job right now so you don't have you don't have children at home? No, no kids yet. Okay, and so why is it she wants to be at home? So she wants to be at home. Dave, she feels called, even before we were married, she felt called to be a stay-at-home mother and wife and to work from home and raise our home and make our home, you know, keep the home and raise kids and be able to work from home and things like that. Okay.

I completely get that if there's kids there. I get it a little less when they're not, just to be very blunt. And I'm not saying that, you know, somehow I'm not discounting the thing. I'm just saying I don't get it as well. So what does she make? So that's the thing. Her income has fluctuated throughout our marriage. It started at like $32,000. Then she dropped down to part-time and was only bringing home maybe $400 or $500

a month. Now she's up at $39,000 and $40,000. Okay, so she's making $40,000 and what do you make? Yeah, I make $45,000. Okay, so okay she's gonna cut your household income in half for her to be at home yes cameron it sounds like something else is going on too is there something else besides just this dream she's had to stay at home you said something about mental health and your relationship and how is that all being broken down by her working i don't understand because that normally doesn't destroy your mental health and your relationships. Sure, sure.

So she has to travel 30 minutes to work. It takes an hour for her to get home. When she gets home, she literally has no energy to do anything, you know, that a wife or a woman who takes care of her husband or takes care of her house wants to do. There's things that she wants to do that she has no energy to do. She's, you know, suffered from depression. Are you participating in the running the house too? I am as much as I can, yes.

Okay. Well, to start with, number one, if the only way that she can be well and avoid depression is to be at home, there's probably other mental health things going on. Okay? Because work does not cause depression. And being tired does not cause depression. Depression causes being tired. But it doesn't work the other way around. So I would want to dig into the root of, which is what John was doing there,

of what's really going on underneath if I were in your all shoes for your own good. If your wife were ill in any way and her being at home and working on half the income made her not be ill, in a heartbeat, we'll figure it out. You know, you work it out. You're just going to be in debt longer. Your baby step two is going to take longer because you cut your household income in half. Your budget is going to be a lot tighter. You're going to be below the household income, average household income in America considerably on your income alone.

So you've got to investigate your options and your career track and what you can do to get your income up to offset that. But I don't want you to treat the symptom if there's real problems with your wife. I often tell folks that the biggest challenge about getting a new job is that you go with you. And so my concern here is that a change of location, a reduction in work, a change in X and Y, she's just going to have the same heart and the same challenges just at home. And so until, like Dave said, until you really address what's going on underneath that, that's just going to follow you. And, John, I don't want to play pop psychologist because that's really dangerous,

but the stuff that I've read indicates, and I don't know if it would apply there or not, but just as a general statement, that inactivity is a gasoline on a fire. It hurts depression. It doesn't help it. That's right. Activity helps it. Right. Even exercise because it releases proteins, endorphins,

and adrenaline in your body and so forth. It helps you fight it. That's right. And when you're working with patients with true clinical depression, it's little wins, right? They'll say, I want you today to get up and take a shower, and then you can go back to bed, and then tomorrow I want you. So, yeah, it's always moving towards achieving goals,

solving problems, and being active, and really to find a point on it to work. Yeah. Patrick Lerner does that in her talk on fear. She was agoraphobic and was homebound with by the fear and so you open the door there you go and she said god she said i was laying in my bed praying and i said god what do i need to do what do i need to i'm tired of this and god told her she said it real clearly in my head i heard from god make your bed and then she realized that means i have to get out of it and it's a it's a funny line and the way she

delivers it but it began her healing many many years ago and she had been homebound by fear right i mean it was a big deal it was a huge thing that she had overcome and uh it's a wonderful testimony a wonderful story but that that one little step just what you said i thought about that because i always laugh she said i'm laying in bed and he says make your says, make your bed, and that means I've got to do two things. When I've got to get out of bed, then I've got to make it because I can't make it while I'm in it. And so activity, you know, coming home to hide, that's the way it felt, and it scares me a little bit. It just feels, Cameron, it feels – I don't want to discount what your wife's going through. I think the pain is real.

The challenge is real. The fear is real. Everybody hates a 90-minute commute. So that's all real. The other side of it is you always want to be running towards something and working towards something, not running away from something. And stopping work to help with your mental health issues, I've never seen or heard of that being effective unless she's in an abusive situation or can can shift and pivot to something else yeah something to look at all right alexis is with us in michigan hi alexis how are you i'm doing well how are you doing better than i deserve your question for dr d and me um i just want to know you know how how i'm supposed to keep

strength and peace in my life in this season. I'm a single mom of a two-year-old, and I just found out two weeks ago that I'm pregnant again. And I just feel a lot of fear and anxiety. I'm unemployed, and I'm new to believing in God and just trying to, like, stay in the zone and trust him. It's very hard in this season of my life. I can imagine.

How far along are you? Probably about eight weeks, I just found out. And all the OBs are closed. I can't get into an appointment with this COVID-19. Absolutely. So who do you have in your life that you can lean on or talk to or text or call or FaceTime with? I often, we talk around here that your community, the people that you rely on in these moments

when you find yourself, the water rising around you, that's your human emergency fund. That's your life emergency fund. Do you have a crew that you can reach out to? My family lives out in Florida, and for lack of better terms, I'm kind of like the disappointment of the family. So I don't really have a support system there. And everybody around me in Michigan is, like, very toxic. I don't have any godly influences in my life.

I understand. I'll tell you what, honey. You hold on a second. We'll come back from this break. We'll keep talking, okay? You stick with us. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Folks, I love telling you about well-made, well-thought-out products.

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like the way these guys do business grip six is determined to help build and modernize american manufacturing to learn more and get this month's dave ram special, visit GRIPSIX.com. That's GRIPSIX.com. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality. We call him Dr. D. He joins me this hour answering your questions with me. The phone number 888-825-5225 welcome to the dave ramsey show uh we're talking with alexis in michigan uh alexis what city are you in in michigan battle creek battle creek okay down down uh south michigan then right okay. How old are you, Alexis? I'm 20. 20. And your family is located where?

In Florida. In Florida. Okay, but they have kind of pushed you to the side, you said, before the break. And so you've got a baby on the way, you've got a two-year-old, you've lost your job, and you are a new person in your faith. Is that what you told us? Yes. Okay, and you're 20 years old. What were you doing?

What was your job? So I was working at a window manufacturing company as an executive customer service representative. And they just laid everyone off because of the coronavirus shutdown? Their company actually, it shut down probably about a month before this happened, and I've just been in a little kind of job since, and now with this COVID-19, it's just super hard. Yeah. What brought you to Battle Creek?

So I actually just moved from Floridaida um me finding out i was pregnant moved me up here because i didn't want to be a single mom of two and the dad is in michigan is dad plugged in same dad um no it's not okay what brought you – why Battle Creek? Well, that's where my aunt stays up there. Up there? Are you not up there? I feel like I may have up there. Are you up there or not? I'm actually – I'm on the way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on the way. I'm in Indiana right now. Oh, my gosh. Okay. All right. So you're going to see – you do have an aunt there then that is supportive? Yes and no.

She's on drugs, so it's kind of hard to have that godly influence in my life. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. All right. Well, there's two things that sound like they're in the crisis. Three things that sound like they're in crisis mode to me. One is as quickly as you can get an appointment with an OB. Obviously, that's number one. Number two is you need a job. And there are lots of

people hiring. For instance, grocery stores. Almost all of them are hiring right now. Amazon's hiring for deliveries, pizza deliveries. I don't know what you're doing with a two-year-old while you're doing all that. I don't know what you were planning to do with a two-year-old while you're working anyway. You've got to work that through. And then I think most importantly, what John was saying earlier, you've got to get into some community. So immediately upon getting up there, I want you to find a really good church to plug into and get in touch with the pastor of that church or the counselors at that church and let them know your situation so they can come around you and walk with you through this time of unemployment and another baby on the way and this huge time of transition.

You've just got to have some protection. We all do at different times of our lives, and this is the time where you need help. John, what am I missing? I think the most important thing, Dave, you just nailed it all, the big picture things. I think you're going to feel some control if you can sit down with a piece of paper and maybe when you stop to get something to eat this afternoon or this evening, and sit down with a piece

of paper and write out your plan. And like Dave said, you've got to protect your kids, you've got to protect your relationships, and if I was you, I'd be on the phone with the health services of Battle Creek, I'd be on the phone with the local church and get plugged in to meet somebody face to face and say, what are your resources, and get plugged into a group, because you cannot do this by yourself. Yeah, you're going to, I mean, you've got money shortage,

you've got relationship shortage, you've got an income shortage, and so, you know, all of those resources, and the good news is this. If you plug into a decent church, they're going to do a great job of loving you. And they're not perfect, believe me. Imperfect people are all that are in churches, and there's no perfect people there. I never met one there. But they will try to help in some way. And you begin to gather that up.

Not that you take advantage of them or something like that, but you've just got to get some margin. You've got no, everything's on razor edge with you. Every single thing is on razor edge. You've got to get some, some margin, some, uh, uh, room, some wiggle room in a couple of these categories that are just wearing you out. The childcare category, the health category, the, uh, income category, the food and shelter categories. You've got a lot of stuff on you right now. And so make sure you're not just running from something, that you are running to something. And so if you need some more help, you call us back any time, kiddo.

Call any time. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You know, John, it occurs to me I never want someone to be put in a highly volatile, highly toxic situation. But there's at least some possibility she might need to go back to her parents in Florida. Absolutely. If there's any redeemable part of that relationship. I know there's a lot of shame involved, a lot of condemnation involved. Obviously, some harsh words have been said. But if your best shot is your aunt who's on drugs in a town you've never been to.

It's not a good shot. It's not a good shot. That's bothering me because everything there is strange. There's no familiarity there's no nothing and so um the devil that you know might be better and i always recommend folks if you're if there's physical harm if somebody's going to get hurt sure yeah don't go back there if it's because they want you to live by their rules under their house or they have some restriction on the car you borrow or things like that, then this is, I think all of us are having to look in the mirror and make some changes

about how we operate. And the, the, I want tos are going to have to be overshadowed by the have tos and I need tos right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're not a 42 year old that's been living life a long time. You're a 20 year old and that's scaring me right here.

That's basically a teenager raising two beautiful babies. That's right. Hey, thanks for the call, kiddo. If we can help, you call back any time. Be honored to be in your corner and fight for you. Open phone's at 888-825-5225. Sonia's in Florida. Hey, Sonia, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.

Hey, Sonia. Dave Ramsey, thank you so much for taking my call. Our pleasure. How can we help? I have a few questions, but I want to try and make it as quick as possible. First of all, I want to say I've done a lot of dumb, stupid things in my life.

No, you're the only one. You're going to have to get in line at this stage here, Sonia. I still have your books from over 20 years ago, and I was talking to my 28-year-old son this morning. I wish I had someone in my corner like a cheerleader to say, you need to do this. And now I have your second book since I signed up for class at my church,

Financial Peace University. Good. And I just finished your book two days ago, and I am so excited. Good. me share a book two days ago and I am so excited but my question is I have a home that I bought in 2004 with my then husband we've been divorced 10 years now I paid 150 for the house I owe 172 thousand dollars um after reading your book I learned a lot of things. I wish I had read it earlier. I have a balloon arm loan type, which I found out is not good. And I don't know if I should sell the house, refinance to get my ex-husband name off it. Plus, I just lost my job.

I worked at a hotel here in Orlando. So now I don't have a job. And I did a stupid thing again by taking out some money from my 401K because I was going to open a retail store for my gift basket business that I've been doing from home. The good thing is I didn't pay and want any money, so it's still sitting in the bank. I don't know if I should pay it back. Yeah, let's try to put it back if you can, assuming you can get an income coming in to eat with. I don't want you to use that money except to avoid a foreclosure or bankruptcy, not open a gift basket store.

As far as the house goes, I think let's get the other side of this career crisis that you've got right now. You're not refinancing anything with no job. And so we've got to, you know, you've got to look at getting the other side of the coronavirus shut down and see if you can get back over at the hotel and get some income coming in again. Didn't you tell me you owe more on the house than it's worth? How did you pull that off? I think it was in 2008 when a lot of people are losing their home. I modified the loan like twice.

Oh, so you've not been paying any principal on it. As a matter of fact, you've added to the principal with the modification. Yeah. You're going to have trouble refinancing it if you owe more on it than it's worth. There's not a lending program for that right now. So I think you're going to be paying on that a while. So let's get your career going, get your income going, get you back on a budget. Let's put that money back in that 401K and begin to chip away with the things you learned about

as you go through Financial Peace University. I think you're going to be okay, but you need to get back on the track again. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Do you know? Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, our latest to join that team is going to be doing one of our Message of Hope series tonight on mental and relational health during a time of crisis. This Message of Hope series, Rachel Cruz was Monday night, Chris Hogan on Tuesday night, Christy Wright on Wednesday night, Dr. John Delaney tonight, Ken Coleman tomorrow night, Monday night is coming, Anthony O'Neill.

Last Thursday was me and rachel and coleman and all of these are posted on all of our websites on all of our facebooks and our youtubes and they're all pretty amazing so one of the things you can control during the pandemic is your inputs what you put into your brain, the old computer saying is garbage in, garbage out. And if you're just sitting and watching over and over and over and over and over all day long the typical news feed of we're all going to die of the coronavirus and the economy is going to become the Great Depression, if you watch that over and over and over again, a normal human would eventually become terrified.

Absolutely. Because of inputs. And so that's why we're putting out some other inputs out here. And, you know, yes, there's real things out there. There's real problems with the economy with the shutdown, and they get worse every day. There's real problems with the virus, and it gets worse every day. I'm not discounting either one of those things. But when you're in a crisis,

facts are your friends. Dr. John says that, right? And you get to choose what you do. So we can curl up in a ball and just keep absorbing this negative energy, or we can stand up and control, we can control, make a plan, and then get after it. So we had several financial peace events scheduled for the end of this month, and in May, on April 30th, we're scheduled to be in Dallas to do a financial peace event, me and Anthony O'Neill, Anaheim, California, Chris Hogan, Anthony O'Neill, Indianapolis, Chris Hogan, Anthony O'Neill, Chicago, Chris Hogan, Anthony O'Neill, all in the month of May. In addition to that, we're scheduled to be in Baton Rouge April the 25th, about three weeks away,

and do an all-day-long Financial Peace University event all in one day, like a cram course kind of a thing with Hogan and me and Anthony and Rachel. All of those are being postponed. The places that were holding them in every case are shutting down. And of course, some of those are inside the month of April. And it appears right now the month of April is shut down. We'll see exactly how all this turns out.

But all of those events are postponed, and what that means is, for instance, the event in Dallas on April the 30th will be held October the 1st, and all of you that have tickets will be transferred to October the 1st. Perfect. The other events, we do not yet have the dates for the postponement, but we will be holding them. In other words, we will be in Anaheim. We will be in Indianapolis. We will be in Baton Rouge doing that event. We just don't know exactly where or when at this moment, but we don't want you guys to sit there and wonder if these things are still in the books. Obviously, we're stopping ticket sales until we have the new date and location. The one in Dallas goes on sale again today, October the 1st, and all your tickets are transferred.

And so, you know, in every case, we're going to honor our obligation to you by holding the event and give you the opportunity. Many of these are beyond our control. They were not up to us to cancel them in terms of we didn't, you know, similar situation we had with the cruise a few weeks ago. We didn't, the cruise provider had to step in and make that decision with us. And so that's what's happened in these cases.

The folks at First Baptist Dallas where we're holding that were able to already give us a contract and a new date so we can announce that date. We'll get these others lined up and get them back to you. But just be expecting e-mails and contacts for those of you that have tickets to those events, and we will be coming to that area, and we will honor those tickets and move those tickets, transfer those tickets in every case, and we will provide you an event as we promised we would. It just has to be at a different date.

We don't have any control over this. Love it. And so, and if, you know, if somehow that's inconvenient or something with you, you talk to our folks, but be nice to our people when you call in. Yelling and screaming at our people. I've already told our folks that if you're going to be crazy, that we're just not, you know, that that doesn't earn you anything. We don't, you know, we don't respond to you yelling and screaming.

So you're just going to have to act like an adult and all that kind of stuff. So if you've got some kind of legitimate problem, that's fine. We'll talk to you about it. I mean, we're not mean or mad, and we're not ripping people off or something like that. We're just trying to exist through this like everybody else. So we're moving these events. We're going to come. I know that we're going to be able to come.

I know the world has not ended. And, you know, there will be the other side of this by then. And so we will be in your town if we promised we were. And there will be a Ramsey event for you to come to as we promised. And if you want to come, you've all, you know, we'd love to have you. And that's the plan. So thank you, thank you to come you've all you know we'd love to have you and uh that's the plan so thank you thank you thank you for all understanding and for being kind in your interactions with us all right blake is with us in texas hi blake welcome to the dave ramsey show

yeehaw blake what's up man how How's everything? Great. How can we help? So I'm afraid I probably haven't been maybe the best communicator with my wife. We have two young children, and Dave, I've been following you for about a year and a half. And it's funny because Catherine was the one that, that, uh, purchased me your book on a Christmas. I should have realized that you kind of, um, a walk in, uh, uh, she, she made me aware of what, you know, what it is to be financially smart. And now I don't think she's on the same page or me is trying to be getting the gazelle intense. So we have $19,000, 19,35358.75 in debt, and it's auto. It's a car that I never wanted to go in debt for, but I did because the old 2002 Chevy

Tau we had, whatever, I justified it, and I got a car for the future. So now we have an $85,000 income. Who drives the $20,000 car? Catherine does. No way. All right. And so you have an $85,000 income. And you're how old?

I'm 27 and Catherine's 25. And how long have you been married? And I do, we've been married for two years. We've been together for four. Okay, cool. All right. So let me tell you what I did wrong when I was your age. Because listening to you, you sound like you're a lot like me.

Once you buy in on something, you bit all the way into the apple. You don't do anything halfway. You go wide open or not. And when you went wide open, you went straight to, here's what we are going to do, because you had already gotten why it's important and you didn't bother to sit down and talk to her about why this as you excited instead you got all excited and ran in and said hey we're going to get on a tight budget live live like uh like we're broke and we're gonna sell your car and that's just just

real exciting to people when you do that so you totally screwed up if you're like me on how you talked to her that's what i would have done anyway i don't know if you did that but you didn't talk about the why you talked about the what and she don't want to talk to you anymore did i miss something um well she knows about you so no you didn't you didn't know i wouldn't want to say that was a good deflection there, Blake. Stop, stop. You just turned left. Stop a minute.

I said you talked to her about what we're going to do, not why, didn't you? Yes, yes. So, but I do talk about the why, Dave. I do get excited. I do explain to her that I like nice things as well. But, you know, we don't have to have everything right now. And I just feel sometimes with Catherine and the way she thinks it's just good is not good enough. And, and, and, you know, we're, we're doing good.

We're healthy during this Corona virus. I'm working every day and our life hasn't changed much. Um, and I feel like we're grounded and we're good, but the only thing is that like I'm, I'm taking advantage of the 14 dayday free trial for Financial Peace University, and I'm trying to get her to kind of watch it with me, and I'm playing it on the laptop. And she's like, okay, I'll watch it with you, but then she's on her cell phone. And I just, you know, it's so hard, and I listen to all your episodes,

and it's so hard to do this together when I'm doing it. All right, so John, what should he do? He can only control himself, Dave. And so, number one, it tells me they've got a communication issue that's way bigger than financial peace. Yeah. And so he needs to look his wife and hold her hands, look her in the eye, and say, I'm not connecting with you.

This matters a lot to me, and you not looking at it with me hurts my feelings. And I'm going to guess there's bigger conversations they need to have beyond financial peace. Absolutely. You may want to sit down and talk to your pastor about your marriage, brother. Absolutely. That puts this hour of The Dave Ramsey Show in the books. Hey, guys. This is Kelly, associate producer of The Dave Ramsey Show.

Did you know over 16 million people listen to The Dave Ramsey Show every week? And a lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, head to DaveRamsey.com slash show.