The Ramsey Show - App - You Can Do Christmas on a Budget (Hour 3)
Episode Date: December 8, 2023...
Transcript
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Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show,
where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships.
I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney this hour,
and it's a free call at 888-825-5225. You dial those digits
and we can get you on the line and help you with whatever conundrum life has thrown at you. Maybe
you just need some confirmation to take the right next step with a little more confidence. We can
help you there. Veronica starts us off this hour in Sacramento. Veronica, what is happening with you? Hey, a lot, a lot. I need some help.
We can do that. Give me some more specifics. Okay, so I've had a pretty crazy life, but
I'm a young mom. I have four kids, married. Crazy up until now. I feel like I finally got to the point where I've created some stability,
which is fantastic. However, I have built a lot of debt and I came up with this,
or I have this opportunity to buy my home that I'm currently in. My parents had bought it with the ideal
that one day when my husband and I are ready,
our credit's ready, our income's ready,
we can take over the mortgage, buy this house.
However, my parents have said,
you know what, they want to buy other properties.
They have a lot of stuff they want to do.
They would like me to take it over within a calendar year.
Now, my credit's kind of in the tanker strictly because really high credit usage. I have 100% payment history, but everything is maxed out. And I pay all my bills
on time, but I have really high interest rates on everything, and I just can't seem to get out of it, and I'm getting really concerned that I will not be able to take over this mortgage
because my credit will not be up to par in time.
I don't think your credit is the issue here.
I think the issue is that you're broke and you're not ready to be a homeowner,
and this opportunity is really just a curse in disguise.
Okay. Think about this opportunity as a just a curse in disguise. Okay.
Think about this opportunity as a light on your dashboard telling you that you're out of gas.
Yeah.
The issue is your car's out of gas, not that there's a light on.
So the current, I mean, I'm going to give you a little bit of backing on the house.
The current mortgage value is at $400,000 and it's currently valued at about $630,000.
My father is willing to give this to me, I guess, and correct me if I'm incorrect,
but there's some way to sell to your child that you can sell at their current mortgage value.
I don't know. There's a whole thing he wants to do.
And pretty much gives me this, you know, 200 grand in equity. He is saddling you with $400,000 of debt.
Right. So you make a substantial amount of money. I need to figure out how to pay off
all of my debt so that I can clear my slate and be able to take over this mortgage. I pay the mortgage now plus some.
Are they giving you a discounted rent?
No.
No, the mortgage is about $2,600 and I pay $3,000.
Hey, Veronica, how much do you make?
Well, our whole household is about $190,000 a year.
Okay, so with that number, you just proved my point,
Georgia's point, Dave Ramsey's point, all of our point.
Money is very rarely a math problem.
Yeah.
It's a psychology problem.
And so, yes, you would be getting $200,000 in instant equity.
It doesn't matter because you cannot control your spending. Actually,
you can, you've chosen not to control your spending. Yeah. Well, I feel like I've
really, really had, it's hard to explain without being able to explain to you your whole path,
my whole task, but I know you don't have time, but I've gotten to the point in the last couple
of years where I feel like I've reached a different point of maturity where I'm like,
okay, I need to, you know, get my stuff together. I need to get my spending under control.
Have you? Yeah. Yeah. This last year, actually I've paid off roughly $20,000 just this last year. Awesome. Yeah, but now there's this time constraint,
and I'm getting really worried because I don't want to lose my house.
How much do you owe?
In total debt?
All of your debt outside of, well, you don't have a mortgage,
so how much all your debts?
All of my debt, including student loans and medical bills, it's about $100,000.
Okay, and you make $190,000?
Yeah. What's your mortgage? So the rent that we're paying my father's $3,000. The actual
mortgage itself is $2,600. All right. So that's $190,000 minus $36,000. You could pay it off in
a year. We get pretty close. Yeah.
So I just need to work that out because my living expenses beyond my mortgage is roughly $9,000.
And besides my rent, it's $9,000.
How?
Because I have four kids, so groceries each week is like $600, just the groceries by itself.
We have a long ways to go to $9,000.
As well as $2,400 a month in groceries.
Yeah.
So, hold on.
I have this all2,400 in groceries, I have our phone bill,
my electricity, my PG&E bill just the other month was like $800. And they've raised the rates
consistently. So what you're telling us, your life is really expensive. And I want to remind
you, being a homeowner is even more expensive than being a renter. And you guys don't have any money.
And so here's the peaceful way to do this. You go to your parents and say, hey,
thank you for this opportunity, but right now,
we can't afford it. We have a goal to pay off all of this debt. Then we need to have a six-month
emergency fund. Then we need to save up a down payment so that we can become homeowners the
right way. And that might mean you guys have to go find somewhere else to rent if they're going
to need to sell this place because they need the money. But that's the decision that they need to
make. Yeah, that's just harder because $3,000,
I'm not going to be able to get a house here for that.
I'm in California.
Veronica, you want A plus B to equal 432.
Right.
The only path forward for you is to own reality.
Choose reality.
You choose a life, and i'm using that
word intentionally and i know it's inflammatory i'm doing on purpose you're choosing a life that
costs 9500 a month not including your house period right that's a choice you make end of story yeah
that's all the debt that i've built included yeah i know i know figure out how to get rid of
but some of it starts with trying to find every way to cut our grocery bill.
In every way imaginable.
We're just not going to eat organics.
We're not going to do this.
We are not eating out for one calendar freaking year.
The only way George and I hear people get out of debt like this
is when they go scorched earth.
And you're trying to, well, you know, kind of add.
You can't.
You will stay in the same mess, same exact. Now you make
way too much money to not be able to afford this house right now. And you're not willing. It doesn't
sound like on the phone to say enough is enough is enough. I'm pouring all the alcohol out. I'm
never going to a bar again. I'm sober starting now. You don't want to do that. You want it to
be like, well, you know, I kind of like that. You gotta, you gotta choose one or the other,
one or the other. one or the other.
Hang on the line, Brock.
I'm going to send you one year of Financial Peace University to show you guys that proven plan.
Welcome back to The Ramsey Show.
I'm George Camel, joined here by my good friend, Dr. John Deloney.
It's a free call at 888-825-5225.
Melanie is up next in Philadelphia.
Let's see what Melanie has to say.
What's going on?
Hey, guys.
Thank you so much for taking my call.
It's nice to talk to both of you.
You as well.
Thank you.
So first, let me just start off.
My husband and I, this is the first time that we're doing a budget.
We just finished FPU.
Awesome.
The one being set to.
Yeah, excited about that. Welcome to the gang. Yeah,
we're excited about it. I love Christmas time. It's my favorite
time of the year. I always go all out, do all the stops. I've also put myself
in debt because of Christmas in the past. But this year, I guess
it's because the first time we're actually doing a budget, I feel
really constrained this
Christmas season. I don't have the same like angst that I've had in the past with, I haven't even put
up my tree yet, which is odd for me because we always do it right after Thanksgiving. And I just
can't get myself to just be in the spirit this year. And I feel like it has to do with the fact
that we're budgeting and I'm not just doing the whole free-for-all Christmas thing.
And I have like super anxiety this year.
And I am just, I'm kind of struggling with what to kind of do with that.
Where do you think the anxiety is coming from?
Is it from you want to do it right?
I have anxiety anyway.
You know, but I just, this season, I'm just like, I can't get myself
into the spirit this year.
And I'm looking at the budget and we have a budget set aside for Christmas shopping.
So it's not that we don't have the money, but something about this year just feels different.
You want to pull it apart real quick?
I'm sorry?
You want to pull it apart real quick?
So this is the first time I've actually seen where my money goes.
I mean, we have a lot of debt.
Okay.
I have to take on a second job.
That's it right there.
That's it right there.
You know?
So anxiety is just an alarm system.
And for the first time ever, you turned all the lights on in your house.
You turned all the music off to the dance.
And you asked,
you looked like, I always tell people step one of creating a world that's not so anxious all the time, a body that's not so riddled with anxiety all the time is choosing reality.
What is the state of my marriage? What's the state of my relationship with my kids? What's
the state of my job? What's the state of my finances? You did that. And you realized my
body's been trying to get my attention
for a long time because we're not safe.
We owe a lot of money.
And so the way you used to make yourself feel good
was buying people things.
And you're a great gift giver, aren't you?
Yeah.
You are.
I try to be.
Yeah.
And now you've chosen reality.
And reality is awful because the way you gave yourself an identity was you were a great gift giver, except that wasn't real money.
It was borrowed money.
Yeah.
And now your body feels anxious because it knows just how bad things are.
There's a dollar amount to it.
Mm-hmm.
And so I want you to reframe it.
Your anxiety is working perfectly.
Your body's working great.
It knows you're not safe.
And now you've just entered into a holiday where everyone tells you,
you're supposed to just go crazy and spend.
And you're only worth what you give other people.
And your kids are only going to love you as much as the stuff you buy them.
Your kids will be so grateful that they got a peaceful mom on the back end of this deal.
Yeah.
So your body's working great.
I think it's you grieving,
I used to blow a bunch of money and spend it like this,
and I'm not going to be able to do that this year.
Because that stinks.
It does.
It's not great.
Yeah.
But it's reality, right?
Yeah.
How much do you owe?
$204,154. Yeah. You're probably real anxious, huh? Yeah. How much do you owe? $204,154.
Yeah.
You're probably real anxious, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, we've been fortunate.
I mean, we paid a few thousand of that all.
Okay.
You know, so, you know, we're there.
I mean, we know it's not.
Is that all consumer debt?
Yes.
That is not a house.
Okay.
So what is the 204 made up of? that a credit cards, car loans, student loans?
They are. So $132,000 is student loans between my husband and myself. And we have cars and credit
cards.
Okay. What's your household income?
Growth or net?
Net.
Net is $144,000.
Good. Okay. So we have a great income. And if we can,
I think if we sold these cars, you would have less anxiety.
Yeah, I know. I knew you were going to say that to me.
Merry Christmas. Amputate the Tahoe. Merry Christmas. Well, how much are the car loans?
Total, what do they add up to? So I owe $7,000 on one that my adult child, she actually pays that one.
And then I have one that's $21,000 and the other one is $28,000.
Okay.
So if I just handed you $50,000, would it release some of the anxiety that's on your shoulders
if I just got rid of a quarter of your debt tomorrow?
Yeah, of course it would.
I think that's part of it.
You need to see
that there's actually hope here because knocking out a few thousand dollars is great, but when you
still have 204 to go and that's not even including your mortgage, it just feels like a death march.
And so part of getting rid of this anxiety is knowing this isn't going to be a 10-year journey
for us. We're going to do this in three years because we make $150,000 net,
bringing home $12,000 a month and it disappears to lenders every month.
That's the source of the anxiety, not the lack of presence under the tree.
How old are your kids? I have a 23-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a three-year-old.
So they're pretty far apart in age. They are. I would take my 10-year-old out and have an honest conversation.
That in the past, mommy's bought a whole bunch of presents.
And this year, daddy and I are going to not owe anybody any money.
We're going to be very intentional.
So there's going to be fewer presents this year.
But we're going to do a couple of cool things together.
The three-year-old is just going to go, and then you can have that same conversation with your old one yeah but but being intentional
again here's what you're doing your body's craving craving craving direction so giving yourself some
little wins here i had this conversation i hated it it was hard it's a conversation i never wanted
to have with my kid because my husband and i we we make a ton of money, but I had it anyway because we
haven't been good stewards of this money. With my three-year-old dude, you could get a three-year-old,
you could wrap up individual bags of leaves that you got from the yard and they'll have fun with
that. Exactly. And then your older one, you could say, hey, we didn't model this well for you. We
modeled how to work really hard because we did and We modeled how to work really hard because we did,
and we modeled how to get great jobs because we did,
but we did not model how to be a good steward of this money.
And George and I are going to hook you up with Financial Peace University
for just you guys, and we're going to give you one that you can give
to your oldest child.
Oh, that's great.
Thank you so much.
But you're going to have to get radical about it.
Okay.
Can I show you the math on this, Melanie?
Like, some napkin math will change your life right now.
If you get rid of these cars, it'll take your debt down to about $150,000, right?
Mm-hmm.
You'll need to get some beater cars, of course.
But $150,000 in consumer debt, you guys take home $144,000.
Could you live off $70,000 and put $75,000 toward the debt every year?
Yes.
And that becomes, we're debt-free in 24
months. In two years, our life completely changes. And now we bring home $12,000 a month and we don't
have lenders that have spoken for this money. Two years. How old are you guys? I'm 42 and my
husband's 45. That's amazing. So at 44 and 47, you guys are completely debt-free.
Probably six months later, 12 months later,
your six-month emergency fund will be there.
You'll be investing for the future.
You'll be maxing out retirement accounts.
You'll be covering your kids, the younger kids.
They're going to be going to college debt-free
because of the sacrifices mom and dad made this Christmas.
So the question is not, can we do this until we're
44? The question is, I'm going to be 44. Do I want to be debt-free when I'm 44 or not?
That's the question. I think you can. Well, George and I both know you can because we've
walked that same walk. And by the way, it's miserable. It's so not fun. It's the worst.
It's so hard.
It's so hard.
It is.
But I'm telling you on the other side of it.
It's only one of the toughest
things I've ever had to go through
and,
but a reality check.
Those kids,
man,
those kids are going to
absorb your attention.
You know what's harder
is when you call back
20 years from now
and we get this call.
We've gotten it this week
and the person says,
I'm 59.
We haven't taken care of our money.
And now it feels like it's too late.
And we can never get out of this.
They were a half million dollars in consumer debt.
And that's where this thing will just continue compounding.
If we continue with this outrageous spending and not getting control and not making the sacrifices.
So it's worth the side hustles.
It's worth the emptiness under the tree.
And just connect as a family this year and have the honest conversations do the hard things and two years
from now your life is completely different and the next 40 years you get freedom that's a good
math equation that's worth it every single time hang on the line we're going to send you those
two financial peace universities one for you and your husband one for the oldest kid and
they'll start to get
it and go, mom and dad, I'm with you. We're cheering you on. Hey, you guys, health insurance
costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough,
the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy.
So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM is a health cost-sharing ministry that's helped
hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981.
And CHM has also helped them stay true to their values and avoid miles of red tape.
And CHM support goes far beyond meeting financial needs.
They'll also help meet spiritual needs.
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CHM programs start as low as $98 a month.
So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget.
That's chministries.org slash budget.
Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney.
As you head into the weekend, I want to remind you guys we have some new things happening at
ramseysolutions.com in the store. We have a great new kids book from our friend Rachel Cruz that's
beautifully illustrated, a new book from Jade Warshaw. Her first book, a quick read, is out
called Money's Not a Math Problem, The 2024 Ramsey Goal Planner.
That includes my friend, Dr. John Deloney.
And, of course, my new book called Breaking Free from Broke.
It's a very exciting cover, John.
So bright.
Some would say jarringly bright because I want it to stand out in the crowd.
Yes.
And it's very humorous.
I worked hard to make it not only research driven, but also humor driven.
And there's a lot of music references. There's even
three, I think, three John Deloney references.
Well, that's why I bought it.
That's why you did it, John. So if you
want to break free from this
toxic money system, whether
that's you pointing at inflation
or the guy in the White House or
it's the credit card companies, this book is going to
help you just take back control and stop pointing fingers and just start holding up a mirror and going,
how am I going to do this? How am I going to live life without a credit score,
without credit card debt, without student loans? How do I just live with more freedom,
more margins, more options, and more peace? You can pre-order it at ramsaysolutions.com
slash store. And when you do that, you'll get a hundred bucks worth of bonus items for free,
including the ebook, the audio book, and way more.
Let's get to the phones.
Tony joins us in Houston, Texas up next.
Tony, we love Houston.
Hello.
How are you doing?
Not too bad.
I guess I have a question about bankruptcy.
How do you figure out when is the best time to actually consider
or file for bankruptcy?
The current situation is
I was recently in a wreck
and I pretty much destroyed
my fiance's car,
which she had coverage for,
but both of our insurance,
I had my own insurance too,
but both of our insurance company
had denied coverage
and now I'm stuck
with an extra car payment every month for a car that's not usable.
I can't even sell it.
If I were to sell it, it would only be worth roughly $2,000 or something
for the junk pile that it is now compared to the $26,000 I owe on it.
So I guess I'm trying to figure out when would be the best time to consider bankruptcy.
Not in this situation.
99% of people who call in saying, I think I need to file bankruptcy, absolutely don't.
What they really need is hope and a plan.
Because right now life is scary.
Because you're broke, you've got this car situation, you can't afford this payment,
and you feel like there's nowhere left to turn.
And so hopefully by the end of this call,
we can give you a few next steps that will help you get out.
But none of it's going to be easy or fun.
There's no shortcuts here.
Right.
So tell us about the whole financial picture.
Have you tried to appeal for this coverage?
What was the situation where they denied coverage completely
it was like a financial best what it was i was excluded on her policy for her to keep her
premiums now and um we didn't really understand what that meant now till now um and then my
insurance is it's it's denying coverage because that, I had co-signed on it,
and they considered that I am part owner and it wasn't under my policy.
So both the insurance company had the rule and now the only hope I would think now is that I can minimize it
because I did have gap insurance on that vehicle and then got it from the dealership.
But if they deny coverage from the gap insurance i'm stuck paying
this twenty six thousand and we had to get her a second car which they managed to approve
and she has a second car which is now another high payment a month so we're making technically
three car payments now and up top of all our other you know rent because we rent we don't own the
home but we have our rent and our other living expenses.
So you guys are living together?
Have you combined finances, or are they still separate?
The car?
Your bank accounts.
Her debt, your debt, your bank, her bank.
Yeah, right now we have two separate bank accounts,
but I've started putting my deposits in her bank account, so we have our bank account and I have my old bank account.
We need to keep our life separate right now. She needs to worry about her debt, you need to be worried about your debt, and now you have this new payment on the line here. What other debt do you have?
Well, we have roughly about, I would say, say 5,000 in credit card debt. Okay. And
then how much total in the car debt? The total car debt between the two cars in my car, probably
55,000, maybe average total. Any other debt? The rents, 11150, probably another, I want to say maybe $1,000 just to cover all our groceries for the month.
But that's not debt. I'm just talking about payments that you owe outside of your rent and normal bills. But besides that, just two total monthly bills, I guess, would say roughly going to be about $1,300, $1,400 just for the three-car payment.
And then, like I said, the $1,150 for the rent.
How much you make?
What's your salary?
Well, right now, I just started a new job.
I'm making more income than I did.
How much?
I was hoping that maybe, but I make $1,550 an hour at roughly $40 a week,
between $35 and $40 a week.
And she makes, I think it's $1,100 or $1,200 every two weeks from her paycheck.
So the first thing that has to happen,
and there's not really discussion about this, dude,
or you're going to continue to be underwater,
is you're going to have to sell both of your cars.
And you're going to have to get $1,000 cars
that your friends laugh at you about.
That's the only chance you got.
Y'all cannot afford two car payments on nice cars.
Y'all don't make enough money.
On top of, you got a third car that you got to pay off.
Because, yeah, y'all got taken advantage of, man.
You signed something you didn't really understand.
I hate that happened to y'all.
It's just like a suck tax.
It just is.
But, man, you don't make nearly enough money.
Well, let me put it this way.
George and I don't even use car payments.
I'm not going to make those dudes rich off my back.
I'm just not going to do it.
And so y'all got to sell your cars, man.
Do what you got to do and get that debt out of your life, man.
That's the only change you got.
Are you underwater on all three?
Obviously, the one you are with that lease situation.
The other two, are they underwater?
You owe more than they're worth?
Nah, yeah.
Nah, the new one starts payments this month, so we're able to buy some time.
And then my other payment starts again because I managed to refinance the car
because that bank, the car that I told them had a lien on my car,
but I refinanced it to take the lien off of it so they wouldn't try to
repossess it.
And you're current on all the payments?
In your life? As of right now,
we're technically current on all payments.
What George means by underwater is
how much do you owe on your
wife's new car?
That loan, I think
was another $26,000 I believe. believe good god how much is the car worth
um maybe maybe i don't know a thousand is relatively new it's a 2020 equinox
well the the goal here is that you're not underwater, meaning the car is still worth $26 or more, and you could sell it and get out from under this payment and get something real cheap.
So you're A1 right now.
You need $1,000 in the bank for you.
And right now, you guys aren't married.
She needs to worry about her debt.
You need to worry about your debt.
The goal is for both of you to become debt-free.
But combining bank accounts and both of you making bad financial decisions that you're both liable for, of you to become debt free but combining bank accounts and both you making
bad financial decisions that you're both liable for we gotta quit that no more co-signing no more
refinancing no more consolidation and my i got a plan the only way out of this is to get out of
this and that's selling the cars getting the income up cutting expenses down to nothing and
no more debt just tell yourself debt is not an option. What am I going to do if debt did not exist? And that means making 1550 an hour and then
going to Walmart after you get off that shift and throwing boxes until 2am and going home
and sleeping until 645 and being at your job at 730 and doing the whole thing over again.
You got to get this $26,000 car paid off and you got
to get some cash in the bank, but man, y'all just got to quit making these choices. Hang on the line.
We're going to send you Financial Peace University. I want you all to watch these classes together.
Please, there are nine lessons that will change your freaking life if you'll do it.
Do not file bankruptcy. That's not the solution to your problem.
Thanks for the call, Tony. This is The Ramsey Show.
Welcome back to The Ramsey Show, our scripture of the day, Luke 16.10.
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much,
and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Kyle Chandler said,
Opportunity does not knock.
It presents itself when you beat down the door.
Thank you for that, Kyle.
Appreciate that motivation.
Kim is up next in Baltimore.
Kim, what is happening in your world?
Hi, John.
Hi, Kate.
How are you guys doing?
Doing well. Great.
What's up?
Hi. I had a question for you all.
We have had an incredible year as far as our home, our work life,
and even we've taken in a beautiful foster kiddo that we'll be adopting.
Oh, that's awesome.
And we've seen some great strides.
We are just trying to figure out and balance what is appropriate in the financial world for spending for Christmas to keep our kids humble and content, but also allow them to just know how appreciative we are.
What an amazing question.
So when you say a great year, do you mean financially y'all had a good windfall year?
Yeah, we retired from the military, got fantastic job um i've moved closer to family
yeah windfall we've paid off all of our debt this year we got the um every dollar app we've
been budgeting it's been a great year we're finally investing 15 percent um for the first
time in a long time we're in our early 40. Yeah, it's just been a really great year financially,
work-wise, work-home balance, and even just in our family dynamics. How old are your kids?
We have our oldest is in college, ranging down to a one-year-old. How many? Six.
And how many are foster kids? Just one. gosh dude you're yeah can i just like take a
moment to make this all about me for a second is that okay um kelly kelly is um producing the show
today because james is out and kelly produces my show and we talked yesterday how my show has been so heavy lately and it's been harder and harder to hang in there and
i need you to know that talking to you for 60 seconds has turned the light back on for me i'm
gonna smile all the way home like you give me hope that moms and dads and neighbors and brothers and
sisters are out there changing the world and all the doom and gloom is not real.
Thank you.
It's awesome.
Yeah, well, it's been a year where we've seen our children grow incredibly
leaps and bounds emotionally and physically and just their love for other people.
And so we want to make sure that we invest into them that contentment heart,
which they're incredibly amazing children.
But also we
want to we want to lavish them this christmas but we don't want to overindulge and so we're
trying to figure out where our balance is between that um and i'll tell you what i do with my i'll
tell you what i do with my kids okay here's how i balance it um i have a 13 year old and a seven
year old so your kids are a little bit older and a little bit younger and probably you have around that age too so i'll tell you what my 13 year old um i had
another for a second year in a row another number one best-selling book and i got the numbers
yesterday on the questions for humans they did really well had a good year okay my 13 year old
a i talked to him not numbers i don't give him details, but I tell him, in fact, I told him this
morning on the way to school, I dropped him off at school. This is a year where we were truly,
truly blessed, truly blessed. And last month I gave him the check to hand to our church
that was far in excess of what it normally is. I also asked him to participate in tipping the waitresses and the waiters at the Waffle House
when we go every Tuesday. And whenever somebody comes in in a uniform, I make sure he knows
they're not allowed to pay when they're around me. So the both end is I am explaining we're
blessed this year. So you're going to get a really cool thing. A cool thing as a dad, when you have a great year, is that I get to really spoil you and buy you gift A or gift B or gift C.
And this is what giving looks like in the wild.
Right?
So I want him to see both and.
And then next year, if we have a tough year, then we're going to tell him, hey, we didn't have a good year this year.
So I've got that conversation going with him. With younger one she doesn't even know up from dad i
i i give her a lot more um you know she's really gonna be worried about she doesn't know
she doesn't know right so some of that is just her watching us tip well care for people well
point out things um my wife and the kids make bags for homeless folks when
we pull up. People are asking. We can give them things in the winter. So they get it through
example. I think the meta lesson here is kids don't listen to you. They watch you.
More is caught than taught. They say that a lot. So I think what John's getting at here
is if you're not raising an
entitled kid giving them a gift is not going to all of a sudden make an entitled kid right and so
uh do you have a number amount in your head of like hey we want to spend this or is it
we want to get each kid the thing that they really want and it's going to be a hundred dollars because
kids don't really have a concept of how much things cost until they're older so when i was a
kid i'd get like a video camera and a guitar and looking back, I'm like, that was like $500 for that thing. Like, that's amazing. But it didn't
make me spoiled. You know what I mean? And so what is causing you to think that?
Well, we've never had a year like this. And so, yeah, I vote my husband jokes because I'm always
a very
even-stated person i'm like if you have five gifts you get five gifts and i don't care if they're
cheaper gifts or whatever but so this year my husband said can we just pick a dollar amount
because our obviously our older son he i mean he's in college and his things are a lot more
than a one-year-old thing but we're just trying to find tell you talk to your kid about it
you're going to teach your kid your thought kid about it....get the correct balance.
You're going to teach your kid your thought process about how you give and how you show love and care and appreciation and how you do Christmas gifts.
So tell your older one, hey, we're giving everybody a dollar amount this year.
Your stuff's way more expensive because you don't like card games or whatever.
He'll get that.
He'll get that.
The younger ones won't.
They'll just look at number of things
and shiny and plastic and what,
like you see what I'm saying?
So I would have the conversation with the older one.
Okay.
Yeah, his college was a lot more expensive
than everybody else's.
Well, and he's going to,
it's okay for him to be like,
well, that kind of sucks.
I want a Christmas presents. And also, because he's still a kid. He's not going to have like, well, that kind of sucks. I want a Christmas presents.
And also, because he's still a kid.
He's not going to have an emotional meltdown like a two-year-old would.
Right.
He got five gifts and I got four.
Yeah.
It's like, hey, you got college.
But here's the thing.
If he finds that out Christmas morning, that's kind of, I don't know.
I don't say it's not cool, but.
Oh, never.
Never.
It would be worth being like, hey, your college cost a hundred grand this year.
And that bought three books and a meal plan with the current college prices,
and so your Christmas is going to look different.
And he'll go, all right, I get it.
Okay.
Hey, and by the way, the fact that you're asking this question
tells me your kids are so far from entitled.
It sounds like you haven't had this kind of security
in a long, long time,
and you want to make sure you dot every I
and cross every T.
And let me tell you, love your kids.
You're great.
You are great, great, great.
Well, thank you so much.
I appreciate you guys.
You too.
You're not going to mess this thing up, I promise you.
Thank you.
Parent of the year right there, John.
That's a beautiful way to end this hour.
It was just reminding me, I did this podcast here called The Fine Print on Ramsey Network,
and I interviewed you, John, for our episode on holiday spending.
So I was trying to pull it up to let the people know.
There's some great encouragement there for Kim as well.
It was called, here it is,
Will Overspending Skyrocket This Holiday Season Due
to the Supply Chain Disaster? And in that episode, we talked about how to deal with kind of the
boundaries issue of like, hey, life's expensive. Inflation hasn't cooled down the way we thought
it would and everything's still expensive and we're all broke up to our eyeballs. It can look
different this year. Maybe you set that dollar amount. Maybe, hey, we're going to get one thing
for each kid instead of seven things for each kid this year. But I like setting the expectation
and communicating the reasons behind it. I love sitting down with my 13-year-old and saying,
this is the year we've been blessed, which means we're going to give like crazy.
And you're going to get something pretty cool. And I'm taking you on a trip. So that's going
to be factored into this thing too.
And I want you to know that when it comes to Christmas morning,
that trip isn't wrapped in a present, and it's going to feel weird.
And you're not broken.
So I'm explaining to him as this thing goes,
and he's going to go, okay, okay, all right.
So, yeah, he'll be disappointed that there's not 700 presents under the tree,
but he's learning.
That's not how my old man shows appreciation. And also, he talked to me about this. I knew this was coming.
And so it's both and all the way through. Well, usually the disappointment's on the other side of a lack of setting expectations and communicating. That's right. So that's the key.
But beautiful way to end the show. Thank you so much, Kim. That puts this hour of the Ramsey
Show in the books. My thanks to Dr. John Deloney. Kelly, our producer for today's show, crushing it.
All the folks in there keeping the show afloat.
Just producing this thing.
America's favorite Kelly holding it down.
We'll be back before you know it.
In the meantime, spend wisely, save intentionally, and give generously.