The Ramsey Show - App - You Can Overcome Shame & Change Your Family Tree! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

As heard on this episode: Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/3rZTUAx Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2Q64HME Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/3sXwUn5 Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/3utmVXi Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3fHhbVE

I'm Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions in Nashville, Tennessee, this is the Ramsey Show where America hangs out to have a conversation about your relationships, your money, your life, just about everything. The advice is free and worth just about what you pay for it. Give us a shout, 888-825-5225. I'm John Deloney, joined here by the wonderful, best-selling author, brilliant Rachel Cruz, and we are taking your calls on just about everything. Everything.

How are you? Life. Doing great. Yeah? Doing great. How are you? And we have a big thing going on tonight. I know.

Yeah, if you're listening live tonight, it's going to be a fun night. Yes. So marriages all across the country, we know this. Hey, lockdown's over. Oh, lockdown's back. And then it's like, oh, okay. Finally lockdown's over. School's back. Then it's back. Marriages across the country could use a date night right now. We are on the eve of the eve of the eve of Valentine's day, an evening to come together and focus on what matters most, connection and communication. Some of the challenges the last few years have pulled you closer together, maybe apart, whatever it is, we can help you come together. Tonight, a special Valentine's edition of Money and Marriage with me and Rachel Cruz streaming directly into your home at 7 p.m.

We're going to walk you through life. We're going to have fun. We're going to talk about sex. We're going to talk about intimacy. We're going to talk about money. We're going to talk about fears. We're going to talk about everything. Goals. Goals. All the things. Yep. When it comes to marriage. Pet peeves, right? So everything. Go to ramsaysolutions.com slash events to get your ticket. They're 30 bucks. It's the cheapest ticket date night you can have and will help your marriage and relationships get better. Speaking of pet peeves, give me one. What is your biggest pet peeve about your husband?

About Winston. And I love your husband. He's so great. I know. I can't imagine he has any. Winston. I'll say this. I don't know if it's him or if it's me.

I'm a little bit laid back. I'm just laid back. I don't have many things that I'm like, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh. But he does a protein shake every morning. Uh oh. And he leaves it just on the counter.

And I just see it. And I just see it. I'm like, we can just do two more steps into. But here's the problem. If you go on my nightstand,

I have like 18 cups of coffee sitting there too. So I'm, that's my thing is cups everywhere. My, I have a thing about using an old cup or I just forget.

Yes. We have a gym downstairs in our house and I just... I don't know. It's like these moments your eyes open and I just think, why are there 11 cups down here? I texted him for the show.

I was like, hey, if we're going to talk pet peeves, what's your base pet peeve on me? He said granola bars in the cup holders. Number one. Because I always said granola bars in the cup holders. Number one. Because I always eat granola bars in the car and I always just put it in the cup holder. He took a dive on that one. He's got some way worse ones. Oh, I'm sure.

He's helping you out. But I'm like, I'm the messier one, I would say. I can have stuff places and it doesn't bother me. It's like for him. And I'll say the way you just said, I'm totally laid back. I just don't know why he can't take two extra steps to put the 13 thing. My guess is you're super laid back, super laid back, super laid back until you're not. And I bet it's incredible. I know it's tough. Okay. What's, what's Sheila's for you? You think? I mean, she doesn't, I'm,

I mean, I'm, I don't know. I don't want to say I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close. Super close to perfection. The man, her laundry list is pretty long. I'm late, but I'm pretty close. Super close to perfection. Man, her laundry list is pretty long. I'm late to everything. That's a huge pet peeve. I think the room is close enough, and she thinks things should go where they belong or in the hamper or things like that. I think the room is fine.

You know, I saw that speech that that guy gave about making your bed in the morning for the first win of the day or whatever. I think that's great. And I love that idea. Man. Never. I never. We never make our bed.

Really? Never. It will change your life. It makes everything better. I don't believe it. Because my life is pretty great right now with an unmade bed. Yeah. Every day.

You don't know the other side of the equation here, the other variable. You should try it. It just says that N equals one experiment. Your life will be better. But here's the thing. If you don't do it, and your spouse does, Winston does, Sheila looks at me with this just shame and disdain, kind of like you were talking about. It's not, I mean, it's like four pieces of cloth.

You can just pull them tight, and the whole thing's over. And you can't do that. And so then I feel small and sad. Anyway. And yes, I leave my protein shakes all over the place too. All of it. I know. It happens. But hey, it's marriage, right?

It's marriage. And y'all are what? 20 years? Yeah, we'll celebrate 20 years this year. 20 years. When's it? What month? Anniversary?

July. Oh, great month. Yeah. It's good. I agree. It's a great month. Great month. Is that y'all's too? No. It's good. I agree. It's a great month. Great month. Is that y'all's too?

No. December. Opposite month. It's a terrible month. All right. Let's go to John in Manhattan. What's up, John? Y'all been having a boring year.

What's up? John, I want to know what your... Are you married, John? Hey, John. Are you married? Very much so. Nice five years. Okay.

What's your biggest pet peeve about your wife? I was hoping you'd ask me that. The biggest pet peeve is that she's just always right. Nine times out of ten, nine times out of a hundred. She's always got the answer. Well thought out before I even come to the conclusion. Hey, John, is she standing right behind you with a weapon? If you need help, brother, I'll call her.

Are you in danger, John? Are you in danger? All right. Hey, what's up, Are you a danger, John? Are you a danger, John? All right, hey, what's up, man? How can we help? All right, so my wife and I have a very unique situation here. So we're 33, 32 years old. We are on the last baby step, as far as I know. We have a mortgage, $300,000, $550,000 is the value of the house.

She's in school right now for a nurse practitioner. After the last two years, we've cashed forward her college. Now, we had twins unexpectedly three months ago. Yep, yep. Very nice surprise. The house that we bought, though, is a starter house. You know, it's a three-bedroom, two-bath. It's a ranch, 1,500 square feet.

You know, there's only so much space as you have here. And we also have a toddler who's three years old. So working from home remotely, COVID, you know, you're getting on top of each other. We need to expand now. We need to sort of flap our wings, I guess, get more room. But the housing market over here is just insane. You know, you look for something that's like a four-bedroom, five-bedroom. You're talking about maybe 800,000.

And I have a 15-year year currently and it's within 25 so on so forth so it's stuck between like a rock and a hard place what do we do do we buy a house right that needs to be fixed up because everything on the market as far as we see is uh you know needs a gut job is what we can call it or do we expand and if we do expand and we like our location like where we are how do we pay for it do we do expand, and we like our location, we like where we are, how do we pay for it? Do we take out equity out of the house? Do we try to cancel or something like that?

So we just need a little bit of direction as far as what to do in terms of, I guess, living situation here. Yeah, it's tough. And I feel like in really high real estate markets, parts of the country, whether it's California, Florida florida manhattan new york you know all that it yeah not compared to those places i feel like there's like the like

it's just the insane and we always kind of laugh because we're like but you're not excluded from math right like just because you live in manhattan like the math still it's still a thing so so so just on that side of the equation john i, I mean, looking to say, okay, what can you afford? Like, would you guys be able to still be within that 15-year fixed rate, 25% by moving out even maybe a little bit further? Since you guys are working from home, is there any part of you that says, okay, let's go out 30 more minutes, you know, to get out of Manhattan proper? If there's any way to be able to expand and go out a little bit further? Technically speaking, I'm in the burbs.

Okay. So I have like an hour and a half, give or take commute. So I'm with you, Rachel. Here's the hard thing, John, is the math works. And this is where, these are hard conversations, but is this the place we're going to live? And if this is the place we're going to live, this is the place we can afford in this place. And I'm going to make peace with that place.

If you're already in an hour and a half commute every day, brother, and you're already in the burbs and y'all are coming in and out. Yeah, I think it's a hard conversation about what would life look somewhere else if we want to expand. If we want to expand or stay where you are or cash flow the expansion hey guys rachel cruz here i've got a money saving idea for you this valentine's day skip the expensive dinner reservations at some crowded restaurant. Really, you guys, it's an overpriced, pre-fixed meal. Instead, grab some chocolate, pour some wine, and join me and my friend, Dr. John Deloney, for our Money and Marriage Valentine's live stream on February 11th, 7 p.m. Central Time. From the comfort of your own living room, we'll teach you the five questions every couple needs to ask to unlock a healthier, stronger marriage. Now that is a great Valentine's gift to the both of you. So get with

your spouse and go to ramsaysolutions.com slash events to buy your tickets to the Money and Marriage Valentine's live stream. You're just one night away from a stronger, more intimate marriage. Grab your tickets now at ramsaysolutions.com slash events. The only reservation you need to make this Valentine's Day is at ramsaysolutions.com slash events. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash events. This is the Ramsey Show. Give us a shout. 888-825-5225. I'm John Deloney, joined here by Rachel Cruz,

and we're taking your calls on just about everything. Money, life, retirement, marriage, all of it. Let's go out to Gabriel in Columbus, Ohio. What's up, Gabriel? Hi, Rachel. Hi, Dr. John. Thank you for taking my call. You got it.

What's up, man? Are you married, Gabriel? I'm going to jump in and ask. No. No, no, I'm not. Are you dating anybody? I am dating, yes. Oh, all right.

Okay, we need a pet peeve. What's your pet peeve? I think when she comes over, she closes the cabinets and the drawers really hard. Then I find the silverware tray pushed all the way back. And so I think that. Gabe, she's got some rage. Some aggression. Some aggression opening the drawers.

That would be me. She's got some rage. Yeah, that's Rachel. She's like, no, everything's fine. No, but I'm aggressive when I put, me. She's got some rage. Yeah, that's Rachel. She's like, no, everything's fine. No, but I'm aggressive when I put things away. So I can see things are being flung around. Okay, I love it. Love it, Gabriel.

What would you say her pet peeve is about you, Gabriel? I think I didn't leave my clothes all over the place, too. So I think maybe that. It's disgusting and ridiculous, Gabriel. Just kidding. I'd do the same thing. I'd do the same thing. All right, brother. So what's up? How can we help so actually I actually have a relationship question

um and so I'll ask my question then maybe I could you know you guys can ask me um additional stuff but uh so I'm struggling with like trying to figure out if if she's willing to get as serious as I I am to get out of debt and so I want to know kind of like how do I navigate this so that the relationship, you know, if the relationship takes a step forward, we are a couple that are on the same page about money

and or could this be like a red flag into like future money marriage issues? How long have y'all been dating? Three and a half years. So you know her pretty well. Why doesn't she have any interest in paying off her debt? I mean, when we talk about money, I bring up my intentionality and I recently signed up for FBU, so I'm starting to do that. But when I talk to her about the steps and stuff like that, she doesn't seem interested. She does say, yeah, I obviously don't want my student loans,

you know, hanging around me forever. But she also like has a savings that she kind of fears of draining down to kind of pay her student loan debts. And she recently got a new car that was signed by her dad. So I kind of feel like I don't want to bring all that on if she's not willing to be on the same page. Almost all of the time, getting on the same page about a thing with your romantic partner, with your girlfriend, your spouse, whatever, is not about the thing. It's about communication. It is about us painting a vision for one another and we are leaning into this. So to answer your original question, this is rarely a money issue. It's usually a vision issue. What I've seen in a couple of years, Rachel, you've been doing this way longer than me,

what I've seen is often, and again, I'm going to unnecessarily gender this, but guys get a hold of this plan and they go at their wives or girlfriends and they give them a bunch of tactics. Here's what you need to be doing. This and this and this and this and this. I mean, the natural response to that is, no, I'm not doing that. It's different when you sit down and say, I am scared and I feel out of control that I owe this much money. And for our future, what I would love for us to be able to do is to sleep at night. I'd love us to be able to focus on building wealth and changing our family tree and providing our kids a home where they are safe financially, where they don't have to worry about college,

where we're not going to have to worry about shoes and food. You see what I'm doing? I'm painting a picture and a vision. And if you can get your partner to join that vision with you, then you reverse engineer that vision and say, okay, what are the steps it's going to take to get here? And what you've got that millions and millions of other people have had is you're taking FPU.

Now you've got a plan that works 100% of the time. But I have to get you a part of that vision. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah, it does make sense. And I would say, too, Gabriel, she's never, from what it sounds like, she doesn't have urgency in it because she didn't have urgency. I mean, her dad signed a note with her. She has student loans that everyone else has, and it's fine.

So there's a level that she has to come to, to say she doesn't want it for herself. Like she has to be able to say, I don't want this. I don't want to live like this. Because it, I mean, there's a truth that, right, that she could sacrifice for you and say, I will do this for you and all of that. But it's something about getting her on board to that vision that John's talking about. That's, that's really crucial. And so I think asking her questions of, hey, what do you want life to look like? Or hey, if we're on opposite pages, is that okay with you? I wonder where she's standing with all of this. Because honestly, as uncomfortable as she's making you, you may make her that uncomfortable with being down this plan that is weird and saying, I do want to live debt-free.

So it starts kind of as a money thing. But like John said, it ends up being about other parts of the relationship. And what happens is when you get married, that stuff just magnifies. It just becomes bigger. And so, yeah, I mean, I do think there's an initial red flag for sure that you guys just aren't on the same page with it, and especially if there's a big goal that you want to have, and not just to have that goal for having a goal sake, but because of what it brings you.

And that's kind of what John was saying too, right? It's bringing you this peace. It's bringing you this level of control that you want. And if she can't get on board with that, then it's going to be hard to, I think even on those issues of control and peace with parenting kids in the future. You could plug in other issues in marriage in that same bucket. Can I ask you this, Gabriel? How old are y'all?

I'm 27. She's 25. Okay. She's still turning to dad for financial support at 25. Is that a red flag in your heart and mind? I think it is. I was trying to convince her to look into used cars. I kept showing her listings. So, you know, I didn't know how far I could push against her dad's sort of plan or wish to sign a car for her. So that was a pretty big flag for me. Why three and a half years?

I think, and I think this is something that I, for the first maybe one or two years, we just haven't really talked a lot about money until I started getting serious about paying down my loans. And so I feel like I slowly started bringing that up. And I'm constantly talking to her about like, oh, I made a payment towards my loans. So, Gabriel, why aren't y'all married? Why aren't you married, brother?

I think this is something that I was scared to bring up. Okay. And so I think there is a fear of like, well, I don't want to get married and then come to realize that we don't have money issues but a marriage issue. Yes. And so that's the biggest red flag of them all is I have a fear in my heart. I've got a secret. I'm scared of something, and I don't feel safe enough to tell you whether it's because I don't have the strength or because I'm scared of something and I don't feel safe enough to tell you. Whether it's because I don't have the strength or because I'm fearful

of the response. That to me is the biggest red flag. If you are going to join the rest of your life with somebody else. If you're going to make other humans with somebody else at minimum you've got to be able to have hard conversations together. In a respectful, dignified, loving way. And that's where I would start here. And so this whole thing, Gabriel, starts with you and a pad

and a piece of paper writing down what are the things that concern you about this woman that you've been dating for three and a half years? You know her now. Something is telling you, I'm still hesitant. What is it? Write those things down and then have a hard but life-giving, truthful conversation with her about this stuff. And then let's, again, let's go about joining Vision. Yeah, and obviously we want the best for you, Gabriel, and I would love for this relationship to work, right? Like you want it to.

But I think John's exactly right. I think this is one of the issues is that you get into this lifelong commitment and don't really even know what you're signing up for and i think there's a i think there's a element of that that is true no matter what i think it's much pre-mailed account i think you do whatever you can to prepare and nothing prepares you for marriage the marriage but the hesitancy that yes that's going on in your voice right now gabriel and the kind of that back and forth, press into that. Here's what, you can never prepare for the issues, but you can practice the hard conversations.

Yeah. Right? So if you can have this little one, the way you drive when we're dating makes me uncomfortable and it scares me. Will you please slow down when I'm in the car? That may have been a conversation we had when I was dating Sheila. My response was, absolutely. I don't ever want to scare you. And for her, she said, okay.

That's a guy that I can feel safe with telling my needs to. And I was able to say, that's somebody that I value who will tell me when I'm struggling. You're going to practice that. We are back on the Ramsey Show and on the debt-free stage. We have Lisa and Darren from Detroit, Michigan. And I'm guessing that means you're here to do your debt-free scream. Yes, sir. Congratulations. Before we get there, going along with the money and marriage theme,

quickly, what is a pet peeve you have of each other? Oh, my. All of them? Not enough time in the show. Just one. I think through the debt-free journey, they're gone. Oh, dude, you are the wisest man I've ever seen.

I was going to say, he's the man of coffee every morning. He's so funny. Hey, brother, you're going to come in here and do the marriage the next half hour. You're a genius. That was key. Hey, brother, you're going to come in here and do the marriage the next half hour. You're a genius. That's incredible. Fantastic. Lisa and Darren, how much did you pay off? $147,000.

Just under $142,000. How long does that take you? 20 months. 20 months. Wow. How much are you making? Between $120,000 you? 20 months. 20 months. Wow. How much you making? Between like 120. Yeah, 120 to 150. And then I run a business that we do a for-profit business. It makes a little bit of money. Awesome. That we don't. What do you guys do for a living? I'm an educator. I'm a teacher. Excellent. Yeah. And I'm self-employed. I do landscaping and stuff during the summer, cut grass, and construction during the winter.

Man. So y'all did this in less than two years. So you guys were living on half of what you were making, basically, and throwing everything else at the debt. Yeah. It was a shock. We couldn't even do that. Yeah.

Absolutely incredible. Okay. So what made this happen, you guys? I mean, 20 months ago, what happened? Our daughter got married. It was on the last hour. We encouraged them to do marriage counseling, and through the marriage counseling,

got us, their pastor made them do the... Financial Peace University. Yep, yep, and then they got us in, and it wasn't really easy to get us in. I know. I want to know that story. Okay, come on. For those of y'all a little inside baseball, your daughter

and your son-in-law did their debt-free scream in the first hour. Correct. They mentioned that they dragged y'all kicking and screaming. It is hard for parents to listen to their kids, take wisdom for their kids. And we all know my kids are 6 and 12,

and they get to tell, Dad, you're not going to believe this. You should do this. I'm like, all right, that's enough of you, right? Yep. How in the world did y'all make that turn? Because that's hard. It was kind of a roller coaster.

So in the beginning, Darren is very supportive of everything that our daughter and our son do. Shelby was going to the beginning, Darren was very supportive of everything that our daughter and our son do. Shelby was going to the classes, and she was trying to encourage us to join. And at first, Darren was like, I know everything you need to know about money. Like, I don't need this. And so he started to go to be supportive. And I, like, had these excuses to not go to the classes in the beginning.

I'm teaching. You know, you work longer hours, and I've got report cards to do, like every excuse under the sun. And I was more really scared to go because I knew of our debt or my debt with student loans. And then he was going, and then all of a sudden he drank the Kool-Aid. Dave has a way of saucing it up. He does. He really wanted to go.

He was as kind and gentle as he could be, just saying this is something that we can do together. You might not think that I don't know how much the debt is, but I do know. What kind of debt was this? Most of it was student loans. Wow. 142 was mostly student loans.

Yeah. More than half of it graduate school too yeah two master's degrees okay yep and so you guys

hadn't really talked about money no a ton we've been married 30 years this August okay yeah so we did

I mean y'all are just the nodding and grunting phase yeah kind of we never shared accounts

before this we never did. We didn't do money together. Yeah. Everything was separate. Even tithing was separate. He was considered the one that he took care of the big major expenses. A car for the kids

or if we were going on a vacation or a trip. And it was probably halfway through the journey before our teacher bud that came with us. He just kept encouraging me, you got to do things together. And until you, we've accomplished more in the last two years than we did in the previous 30 years. That's incredible. Of marriage together.

That's incredible. Wow. It's incredible. It's incredible. So you said some tongue-in-cheek, but you're being serious, that these little petty things, and you all lined up over the last few years and worked together, and a lot of that petty, pet peeve-y kind of nonsense is out the window. Tell me about that journey together with your marriage. Oh, my gosh. I think the stress of finances and that, you know,

you always hear that money is like one of the root causes for divorce and finances and that, you know, you always hear that, you know, money is like a, a, what, one of the root causes for divorce and things like that. And you don't want to really accept that. But then as you start paying things off, you can let go. You're not as stressed and you don't have that anxiety over the finances. And then it brings up other things that you probably need to work on or you didn't recognize in your marriage. So even 30 years in, you know, those little pet peeve-y kind of things or the lack of communication, you know, starts to make itself present. And then you just kind of work through those things. So combining the accounts for me always is just a struggle. And it's just a symbol of, hey, of unity, right?

And logistically all that. It made everything better. So that's what I want to know. Was it hard for you guys? Because after 28 years at that point in marriage, you lived separately with accounts. So when you combined them, was that difficult? Or were you guys at a place that you were so on board? Because there's people listening right now.

Well, if you've seen our poster, we did it. Our daughter made us a poster. The poster is ripped to shreds because um halfway through the journey you know you see see all that it's just now i did rip it so that you didn't rip up the the graph because i was afraid of ripping up the coloring in because we worked really hard in that but yeah that was that was like a frustration part way through but yeah and the thing i guess really the important thing is is our life and our friendship and everything could have been so much better, so much before.

I was willing to share everything with my wife except for my money. And it's, you know, it's just, I'm embarrassed about it and ashamed of it now. But here's the thing. But it's better now. It's awesome. That's right.

And often shame curls us up in a ball and we don't do anything. And the one powerful move you made was to take that one step. And you listened to your baby little girl. And then you took another one and then you took another one. And you were brave, right? And you were strong. And, man, I think what you've done, I mean, it's generational. I mean, you've got a grandkid over here

that's not going to ever know these struggles because of the work you did, my man. So none of the last 28 years are wasted. It's incredible. Incredible, you two. Who's your biggest cheerleaders? Oh my gosh. Definitely Max and Shelby.

And it's Max, not Maximilian. But now he's going to have to go by Maximilian now. Oh, he gave us a full name last time. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, he gave us a full name last time. Yeah. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah. They were probably our biggest cheerleaders. Like we would have these funny competitions of, you know, well, what are you selling?

What are you putting up for sale? What are you getting rid of? Get rid of the dog. Like, you know, just like little things like that. So there was a lot of cheerleading going on. How does it feel? Oh, my gosh. I could sleep.

Yeah. Yeah. I could actually sleep at night which you didn't even we were talking about that on the way here that i'm like you know i just realized that once it was paid off like i could actually sleep at night like i wasn't you know it's not going to war every day wow aside from you know hot flashes but besides that like i wasn't like waking up thinking about that paycheck to paycheck or okay well I know he's going to pay for this, and so what if he goes out and he buys himself another toy?

It's not my money, so I have no say over what he's spending the money on. It's none of my business what he's doing, and he didn't tell me what to do, but here I am right now, bills and paying them and just trying to be the quote-un unquote submissive wife, which was twisted. And now you're safe and connected and your body can finally sleep. Totally relaxed. Incredible.

$142,000 in 20 months paid off, making 120 to about 150 grand, working a couple of jobs, a teacher, construction, mowing lawns. Lisa and Darren from Detroit, Michigan. Let's hear your debt-free scream. Count it down. Three, two, one.

We're debt-free! Yes! So great. Man. Brother, we're going to give you a copy of Total Money Makeover so you can find somebody in your community that you know that would, man, this is going to jumpstart their journey. And we're going to give you a copy of Total Money Makeover so you can find somebody in your community that you know that would, man, this is going to jumpstart their journey. And we're going to give you a copy of Baby Steps Millionaire because now you two are together.

And there is no stopping Lisa and Darren. Y'all, that's life change right there. Not just money change. Life and marriage. I don't care how long you've been married. Every day is a day to start over and say, today's going to be different. I'm talking to you. Yes, to you. Today to be different. I'm talking to you, yes to you.

Today can be different. Start now. 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, joined here by Rachel Cruz, and we're taking your calls on money, retirement, life, anything and everything. 888-825-5225. Let's go to Tracy in Montgomery, Alabama. Hey, Tracy, what's going on?

Good afternoon. Thank you for taking my call. You bet. What can we do? My question is I'm kind of in baby steps too right now as far as getting my debt paid off and I should have

it paid off hopefully by everything but one payment will be paid off by this time next year. And it is still probably taking me another year to pay off the loan on a horse trailer. I live in rural Alabama. But what it is, I'm 50 and I'm at, after this debt is paid off, how to better invest as far as like a Roth IRA or mutual funds.

I've got my 401K right now with work, and I'm only investing at 5%, and I have a stock purchase program with my company, and I'm doing 2% of it right now. And I want to be able to invest more, you know, after my debt is paid off. I don't have a mortgage. I actually, my mother-in-law put my name on the deed for the property. And so I could pick up the, she didn't want to do the homeowner's insurance on the house. Tell me about your debts here. You said you're about a year away. What kind of debt do you got?

How much you got? I've got one more truck payment left, and my truck is used, and I don't plan on getting rid of it. Just tell me the numbers, yeah. I've got about $14,000 with credit card, and then and then i've got 24 000 on the horse trailer and what is this okay 24 what do you make a year i make 40 40 and the horse trailer is that for your job? Tell me a little bit about that. That's my hobby. My kids, I guess I call them, because I don't have any children.

And my fiancé pretty much has been, this was his mother's and father's place. And we've got 60 acres. Okay. And it it paid for. So the place, great. Good for y'all. Yes. I want to make real clear, that place is not, you have no claim, no moment, not a second, not a penny towards that place until y'all are married.

And so. Well, actually, in Alabama because she put my name on the deed she passed away in november and she put your name on the deed too yeah i'm the only one that was on the deed other than her so so her blood was not she didn't put her son on it but she put you on it that's not messy at all. So my recommendation, honestly. Everybody's good with it, so it's all mutual. Believe it or not, surprisingly, it's not a Jerry Springer moment.

No, no, no. It's our show, like the work that I've done for years, the work Rachel's done for years, the work Dave's done for years, is that everybody's got a great idea until the wheels fall off. And what we deal with all day is when people are saying, uh-oh, right? But that's a whole other call, a whole other show. I'm going to, Rachel, I'll let you hop in here. I'm going to recommend sell the horse trailer.

Yes. I know that's not cool and that's going to make you sad and I'm not doing that. And here's the thing. I know you're not going to, but I think you should sell the horse trailer and start from there. Well, Tracy, so here's the deal. You're 50 years old, right? So, you know, when you're looking at retirement here in the next 15 years, there has to be some decisions that you make to up this. Do you have anything in retirement?

I know you have a 401K at work. How much is in that? Right now, there's about $60,000 in it and I'm really not sure on my, I mean with the way the market's been in my company, it's my, the stock purchase program I have has just been really like up and down. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well you're the the, which is great that you have 60,000 in there. So what I want to do is I want you to actually pause everything else.

You said you were doing 2% in the stock option of the company. You're doing a little bit in the 401k. As of now, I want you to pause your 401k because to be able to get

out of this debt, the fastest way possible is to get as much cash back in your paycheck to throw at this debt. And so by doing this and by being able to throw off some more money into this credit card debt, it's going to get you moving. So I would, I mean, I'm kind of on John's team on this one, Tracy, that's hard, but

something like a horse trailer. And if you were making $140,000 a year, this is a different conversation if you were making you know 140 a year this is a different conversation you're making forty thousand dollars a year with a 200 with a twenty four thousand dollar thing with wheels and whenever we say thing with wheels i don't care if that's an rv i don't care if that's a trailer i don't care if that's a car but you don't want half of your annual income to be in what we call four sets of wheels it's a a depreciating asset, yeah. So by removing that and by throwing as much money at this credit card debt,

you could be out of debt in nine months. If you paused the retirement, sold the horse trailer, got out of that debt, threw more money at this $14,000 credit card debt, you could be debt-free. And then we can fast forward and say, okay, from there,

building up an emergency fund, going back to your retirement. So you're only pausing for a year in this plan and then throwing as much money as possible at the retirement. But I also, Tracy, would tell you to go talk to a Smart Investor Pro. They are a trusted group of people here at Ramsey Solutions that we recommend all over America. But for them to sit down with you and do the math, because I don't want you here in the next 10 years to not be funding as much as you should be. So there may be more money you want to throw at retirement after you're out of debt and you have that emergency fund. Yeah, I'd go one step further

and I'd even sit, I would get the number today. And if not today, Monday, I would get the number that how much those stock options are worth. And I would consider selling single stock and paying your debt off. And I know you'd think, no, my company, they're doing great. My mom had worked at Enron and it went away, right? And so we always want folks to be careful about dumping a bunch of money into single stock purchases into their own company. This might be, you may have won the lottery when it comes to luck, and you're sitting on enough stock to get you completely out of debt,

and then you roll the rest of that over into your 401, and now you're off to the races. You go buy yourself a Roth IRA and max it out, and then you're off to the races there. All right, let's take one more quick call. Let's go to Allison in New Orleans. Hey, Allison, we're up against the clock, so get right to your question. Hi, John. Hi, Rachel.

How's it going? I'm doing well, thank you. And yourself? Good, good, good, good. All right, we're up against the clock, so let's get right to your question. Okay, sure. Can you hear me okay? Yes, ma'am. Okay, great. Last year, both of my parents passed away, and we're right in the middle of having to sell the house at this point.

I've been following Dave for about five years or so. I have a fully funded emergency fund. I have about $50,000 that I could possibly use in an account that's going to be available pretty soon in order to buy something. And my basic question right now is how to go from one house to the other. So should I wait until the house is sold? I can actually borrow 40,000 from my emergency fund and put that with this 50,000 that I'm going to have and then pay off. If I have a mortgage, I could pay it off with the money that I get from the house after we sell it or I can I actually saved up about eleven thousand dollars to go and rent something

if I needed to which would I know mean moving twice but I'm trying to do this the cheapest way in the most efficient way financially. So Allison, so your parents passed away and you were living in their house. So now the house has to be sold. Is any of the equity going to be split between kids? Like once the house sells, are there other people that are going to be getting part of this? Okay. So what

if the house sold at market today, do you know how much money you would be receiving for just your end? I'm guessing somewhere upwards, either $125,000 or higher. Okay. I would wait until the house sells at this point. And then when it sells, move out. I'd move twice.

And give yourself a little bit of space. Put down a down payment of 10% to 20% with some of this cash. You're in a great position, Allison. You just threw out a bunch of numbers of cash you have set aside. It's great. I would rent and move twice. I know that's a pain. It may not be the cheapest option, but it's going to be the most peaceful option.

And right now, your heart needs some peace. I think James and Kelly and the gang and you, America, will be back soon on The Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Ramsey Show. You can listen to all our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. Browse by topic or even send clips to your friends. Download the Ramsey Network app in your favorite app store today. Ramsey Network