The Ramsey Show - App - You Can Start Again Without Filing Bankruptcy (Hour 3)

Episode Date: August 5, 2019

Retirement, Career, Debt   Tools to get you started: Debt Calculator: http://bit.ly/2QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: http://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: http://bit.ly/2QEyonc... Interview Guide: http://bit.ly/2BuGnZE   Check out other podcasts in the Ramsey Network: http://bit.ly/2JgzaQR 

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumped, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Evan is with us in Connecticut. Welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show, Evan.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Hi. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? I'm 22 years old. I just graduated from college. I'm luckily debt-free, and I have two degrees, a degree in broadcast journalism and a degree in political science. And I've been applying for a lot of jobs, and all the entry-level positions, all the offers I've been getting are extremely low-paying. And I'm considering going to law school, but to go to law school,
Starting point is 00:01:12 it probably seems like I'm going to have to take loans. So I was wondering your take on this type of thing. Okay. Well, if you're going to go to law school and I'm in your shoes, I'm going to not go unless I find a way to do it debt-free. And that's possible. It's a very tough road. But it sounds more like it's a career thing with you.
Starting point is 00:01:32 You've just not landed something in your field to even get started. And as you probably are discovering, most broadcast entry-level stuff, whether it's radio or television, doesn't pay much. Not at all. It's a tough entry position. Now, you can work your way up and start doing something that has some popularity and move into some of the roles on camera or behind the scenes, either one, and they can pay very well. But the starting reporter at the local TV station doesn't make jack.
Starting point is 00:02:08 And so it's just a tough, tough thing. But it does get you in the room and get you around the stuff. I don't think you woke up five years ago saying, hey, I want to be a lawyer, and the way to get there is get a journalism degree. I think you're thinking lawyer because you haven't been able to land something. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking because I haven't been able to really, because now I'm at the point where my parents want me to get something and be fully dependent, and these jobs didn't really pay enough for me to be fully dependent,
Starting point is 00:02:39 so I'm kind of thinking, you know, what can I do to be dependent on my own? I want to move out and be on my own. Well, it may require two jobs for a little while. You may have to pick up something that's outside in order to supplement what you're doing. I don't even care if it's necessarily in your career field. But, yeah, I think you take one of those entry-level things that doesn't pay well and supplement it for a little while and see if you can get something moving, see if some ideas are sparked and some things you can do to move your way into that.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Let me give you a copy of Ken Coleman's book. It is the best book on this subject that I can think of on career. It's Finding the Work You Love. It's called The Proximity Principle. And I think that the proven strategy that will lead to the work you love is what the book is called, The Proximity Principle. I think it's going to help you probably more than I can in a five-minute call for sure. And feel free to call Ken on his show too.
Starting point is 00:03:34 He can walk you through some great ideas. He's got a great sharp mind on the idea of doing this. He's on SiriusXM and on about 35 radio stations now carrying the Ken Coleman show. We just launched it a couple months ago, and it's going crazy. People are loving this idea of finding work they love, and the Proximity Principle was the number one bestseller. So hold on, and Madison will pick up. She would love to give you a copy. She's actually Ken's phone screener in her real job, and we borrowed her today because Kelly was out.
Starting point is 00:04:06 So that'll work. She knows how to give away a proximity principle, don't you? Yeah, I thought so. Very cool. Omar is with us in California. Hey, Omar, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thank you for answering my call.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Sure. What's up? So me and my wife are currently on baby step two and um we we owe uh 24 955 dollars and um that's kind of part of our our car loan it's the it's's the car worth it's worth about that much okay how old are you guys um i'm 24 and she's 23 okay and what is your household income you and your wife's income um right now she currently she just quit her job and um I bring in $50,000 a year. Why did she quit her job? It was too much for her. It was stressing out.
Starting point is 00:05:10 She was a tech support, and it was just getting to her, and we decided that mentally. You live with your parents. That's stressing me out. Yeah. And I wanted to know if it's the right move to move out. And what we found, the cheapest was $850 for a one-bedroom apartment. Yeah, you need to sell your car. Yeah. Your car is ridiculous in this situation.
Starting point is 00:05:41 It's crazy land. And your wife needs to get a job tomorrow, and she needs to keep a job because being broke is financially stressful too yeah you don't walk out of your job when you have debt coming out your ears so much so that you're living with your in-laws you suck it up now i don't want her to have to live in a toxic environment for 25 years but for a few months you guys make better decisions than this and tough it up a little bit so she gets a job immediately you sell your car immediately then yeah you move out oh okay yeah and we just barely downloaded the every dollar app too and i always talk to her about this book that you have that's a total money makeover and and that's our next plan to read it together.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Oh, that's great. Okay. Have you got a copy? No, not yet. All right. I'll send you a copy as your moving out gift. So hold on. Madison will pick up, and I'll send you a Total Money Makeover. That'll be your moving out gift.
Starting point is 00:06:36 But, dude, you got to start taking some action here. You know, we're grown married people. Time to be doing some other stuff. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Terry is in Arizona. Hi, Terry. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave.
Starting point is 00:06:56 Thank you for taking my call. How are you today? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, I've got a daughter that was going to a community college and feels that it's not for her, so she wants to go to esthetician school. I'm adamantly opposed against student loans because we just paid my wife's off, and fortunately, we're debt-free. So I told my daughter, she pays for half, I'll pay for the other half.
Starting point is 00:07:18 And that if she's failing school, if she doesn't pass, then she needs to pay us back. Does that sound like a good idea or not uh as long as she's not borrowing the money to pay for her half oh no she's already saved up almost 80 of her half okay good well she she works she works full time and and i want to get her through fpu and i want us to go through fPU as well because we just became debt-free this week except for our house. Well, congratulations. And I want my wife and I to go to our house like a gazelle and pay it off in the next four years.
Starting point is 00:07:53 We don't do Baby Steps 4, 5, and 6 at gazelle level, but we are very intentional. Gazelle level is you don't have any life at all until you get through Baby Steps 1 through 3. But while you're paying off your house, baby steps four, five, six, we lighten up a little bit. We're just very intentional. And if you can cash flow half of your daughter's school and she can pay for half of it, I think that's a wonderful idea. I think it's a great thing to do.
Starting point is 00:08:17 And it's what she wants to do. That's fine. At least when she gets through, even if she doesn't decide to go that route, she's not in debt to it. But I would not pay for half if she's going into debt for the other half. I don't do that, because that's basically endorsing the stupidity with my wallet. And I don't want to do that. That's not a plan.
Starting point is 00:08:37 I'll pay for half and go borrow the money. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. This is big news, guys. You need to stop and listen. The Fed decided not to raise interest rates. That means you've got a small window of time before rates rise again. Here's the deal. Most people are paying too much interest on their largest expense, their home.
Starting point is 00:09:13 So you're freaking crazy if you don't take 10 minutes to call Churchill Mortgage right now and see if they can save you money before rates rise again. A mortgage through Churchill could save you thousands, or better yet, reduce the time until you're debt-free. Can you imagine how it would feel to no longer have that payment looming over your head every month? Just go to ChurchillMortgage.com or call 888-LOAN-200. Their team of experts will give you more clarity about your options and more peace knowing you're saving significant money in the long run. Call 888-LOAN-200. That's 888-562-6200 or churchillmortgage.com. ash is with us in illinois hi, Ash. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Hi, Dave. I just found out from my roommate that I am getting my wages garnished. And I was wondering, is there any way to stop a garnishment without bankruptcy? Because I don't want to go down that route. How did your roommate know your wages were being garnished? He called me and told me I had a letter in the mail because I'm an over-the-road truck driver, and it said, wait, garnishment on it. I had him open it and read it to me immediately.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Does it threaten it, or it says it's occurring on a certain date? It says that the order was granted on July 19th, and it's about to start. Okay. All right, because here's the thing. A lot of collectors will threaten wage garnishment in a way that sounds like it is definitely occurring, and they're lying. They haven't done anything yet. So I'm a little bit wondering if that's happening or if they have actually sued you one and are now executing on the judgment with an actual wage garnishment. They could. What kind of debt is this?
Starting point is 00:11:43 Well, I'm actually looking at the court order right now. I just downloaded it on my tablet. Okay. And it's from a training program that I attended back in 2002. Okay. And how much do you owe them? um the actual judgment amount is 11 000 but they are collecting 22 000 okay they can't collect more than the judgment amount so there's something wrong with that but i mean the judgment if the judge gave them the ability to collect $22,000, that's the judgment.
Starting point is 00:12:26 But, so anyway, was the original debt $11,000? The original cost of the training, I believe, was about $5,000, which I was paying on, but due to my own stupid decisions during a time of crisis for me, I ended up in prison for a couple of years. Oh, my goodness. And I just got... How long have you been out? I got out in 2015. Okay. Well, I got out in 2015, but I started going back down the same route that I was on before I went to prison.
Starting point is 00:13:16 And then, which I'm not going to lie, it involved a lot of drugs and alcohol. I woke up one day and I said, I'm tired of this life. And I got my CDL, started driving, and I've been clean and sober for a little over a year now. Good for you. Congratulations. Well done. Okay, so we're turning things around. This is in the past, but we still got to clean it up,
Starting point is 00:13:47 and part of becoming sober is dealing with the damage from the past. Agreed? Very much so. Okay. So proud of you, man. Congratulations for turning your life around. So what do you make now? It varies. Like last week, I only brought home $400 because I didn't get very many miles the week before.
Starting point is 00:14:08 But it all depends on how many miles I get every week. What do you usually get? On average, about $800 a week. Okay. All right. So you're making about $45,000, $50,000 a year, right? I'm on pace to make about $45,000 this year. Yeah. Okay. All right. So you're making about $45,000, $50,000 a year, right? I'm on pace to make about $45,000 this year.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Yeah. Okay. Good. Okay. And you've been dry for a year. Do you have any other debts that you're paying on? Actually, I've been pulling everything off of Credit Karma, getting in touch with all the creditors and trying to get them to let me make small payments and stuff like that. How many things are you making payments on now? Right now, I've got one, two, three, four that I'm making payments to right now. Okay. Not including the garnishment.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Gotcha. Because here's what's running through my mind mathematically. If you could figure out a way to just live on nothing and scrape money together, scrape money together, scrape money together, and you were to offer these people $5,000 as a settlement on this debt, cash on the barrelhead, they'll probably take it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:30 And because they probably think they're not going to get all their money after this amount of time. And so with it being a training from a school that you did attend, this probably is a wage garnishment. It is the type of thing that would sue and would this probably is a wage garnishment. It is the type of thing that would sue and would go all the way to garnishment. So it's probably a valid document that you probably are getting garnished. The only way to stop that is to pay them some amount that they agree to in cash. So it might be that you get garnished for one month, right? And during that month, you just work like 1,000 hours and do anything you can do, whatever you can do, you sell everything, don't pay anybody else for that month,
Starting point is 00:16:12 all the other old bad debts, and scrape together like five grand and offer them five grand. I don't know if you could pull that off in one month or not. It might take two months. But something like that probably would settle it with them and make them go away. They're not going to just allow you to start making payments. They're going to take it out of your check. They got you now. All right.
Starting point is 00:16:34 They got you where they want you now. You're not in a strong position anymore. So bankruptcy does not solve it unless you file a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which dismisses all unsecured debt and starts fresh. That's the clean slate bankruptcy. How much other debt have you got total? Total, I've got it figured out to be about $28,000. Including this or on top of this? Including this. Oh, wow. So you don't have much other.
Starting point is 00:17:08 This whole thing is just about it then? Yes. I mean, it's 1,200 here, 1,000 here. It's not much whatsoever with the others. If you can solve these guys, you can beat those other guys off pretty quick. They're mosquitoes. Yeah, because, I mean, before I went through my time of crisis and ended up in prison, I used to listen to you every day, and I started working the baby steps. I was on baby step two, and then, like I said, I had a personal crisis, which ended up with me in prison. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:45 How old are you? I am 40 years old. Okay, good. Well, I'm proud of you getting sober and staying sober for a year. Well done. Proud of you being responsible and addressing these issues. That's the kind of thing you need to do, which helps your sobriety. It also helps your career, helps your future.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Everything you're doing is smart and wise. It's a better path that you're on. Very well done, sir. I want you to go through Financial Peace University. It's all online now, which works well for a truck driver. I want you to go through as my guest. I'm going to give it to you and be part of your newfound sobriety, okay? Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:24 All right, you hold on. Madison will pick up, and we're going to get you signed up for Financial Peace University. Well done, sir. Well done. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Brave young man there. Brave to fight through that. Been through some obvious stuff. I've done a lot of stupid stuff in my life. Have you? Have you? See, financial problems are almost never the problem, Larry Burkett used to say. They're the symptom. And when I had financial problems, they were the problem, Larry Burkett used to say. They're the symptom.
Starting point is 00:19:06 And when I had financial problems, they were the symptom of my stupidity. What about you? Now, that's what Ash has got. He went through his stupid period, and now he's got the full crop of stupid coming in, and he's having to clean it up. The good news is, you don't have to do it again. You can make choices for the rest of your life that don't leave you in that situation. Me too. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Patty's with us.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Patty's in Kansas City. How are you, Patty? Hi. I'm better than I deserve, and I think you're better than we deserve. You're sweet. How can I help? Well, my dad passed away about a month ago, and I basically doubled my net worth from having inherited from him. Wow.
Starting point is 00:20:33 About half of what I have is in an IRA, and the other half is inherited from him. And my income is basically I have a pension and my social security. And I am single. I'm retired in my 60s and single and have no kids. And I would I'm asking about giving ideas for places to give money to, and then extending that into my estate planning. Good for you. Okay. And so how much is your net worth now? About a million.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Okay. So about a half for me, I mean about a half a million that you had saved. Yes. Well done. Good job, Patty. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was very lucky in my life in having good parents who helped pay for my school and managed to get a good job that paid well, too. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Well, a million dollars investing well should be creating anywhere from 50 to 80, maybe even $100,000 a year income for you in addition to your pension and your Social Security. So you've obviously got that in your monthly income. If you pull it off or if you let it lay there, either one, you've got that to do giving from and not even touch the nest egg, so to speak. If you want to direct some of the nest egg beyond that, you've just got to be careful that you have enough to live on.
Starting point is 00:22:05 That's the whole thing. The nest egg has to remain of size that you can live off the income it creates with your Social Security and with your pension, which just sounds like you're pretty conservative and you'll be able to do that. In terms of picking places to give to, there are many more wonderful things than you'll be able to help. There's so many people out there doing such wonderful work and such scale that there's no way possible that you'll be able to get to anywhere close to all of them. And so I'll tell you what we do with the Ramsey Family Foundation.
Starting point is 00:22:48 My daughter Denise runs the Ramsey Family Foundation, and that's where we do all our giving through other than our tithe to our local church. And what we do is we have allocated the larger percentage of that goes to Christian ministries of some kind of the giving that we do each year because we're Christians, and then a portion of it goes to education institutions, whether they're Christian or not, and what we call mainstream. And so then we just kind of have a giving budget each year that we look at. The way we select who we're going to give to is really dictated by a couple of things. One is we don't give to organizations that aren't being operated well because we want to make sure that God's money, that we're investing it for his kingdom,
Starting point is 00:23:37 and it's being operated well. And so we look at the leadership team and the budget, and we make sure that they got their act together financially. They don't have to be a multimillion-dollar thing. They've just got to be clean and doing a good job and good operating principles. And, of course, from a Ramsey perspective, that would include they don't borrow money. We don't give to ministries or anybody else that borrows money because we don't want to give money to something that supports a bank when we don't believe in that so that's consistent with our
Starting point is 00:24:09 values right and so you got to decide that kind of a thing so we're looking at the operations and the value systems of the of the ministry the second the way that we even get around to looking at that is the first filter is someone in our family, our family all is on the board for this foundation, and someone nominates out of our team a ministry or something that they've heard about or looked at, and then we go in and we vet them. Now, what that means is, from your discussion standpoint, is it's something that someone has a heart for. What is it you care about?
Starting point is 00:24:50 What is it that really, really touches your heart? Because there are things that are really sad and really need help, but they still don't touch my heart. And there are things that do touch my heart that for some reason or another that and i we just use that as our gauge that someone in the family in your case you um uh you know it's something that you see or you you've got a friend but i don't give anything to people just because they ask it has to be a connection of some kind to our spirit. And we go, wow, that really, man.
Starting point is 00:25:30 And sometimes we do it only for one year. Sometimes we do it year after year. But there's ministries that we've supported for 15 years that we just believe in the work they're doing. There's other ministries that we've supported, you know, in inner city medical care for people who can't afford any kind of medical care, a clinic, you know, that kind of a thing. And went down and visited it and just saw the people that were being helped,
Starting point is 00:25:57 and it just broke our hearts. Hey, we want to be a big player in that. We want to help you. And so, you know, that was one we did a few years ago and and so you're just looking for something that first kind of rings your bell it just makes your tear up a little bit you think man i got a lump in my throat i gotta help that that situation i gotta you know you know you read an article about sex trafficking and you realize how bad that situation is in america today and around the world for sure um and you go wow i want to get involved in that and you so you do you know or
Starting point is 00:26:31 whatever it is but then then then you vet and actually do some due diligence as if you were doing an investment on the ministry before we give now that's giving a substantial gift i mean if we're giving 500 bucks or something you know we know, we don't mess around and spend $500 worth of time trying to give $500 away. Let's do that. We're not that tough about it. But if we're going to give something with some zeros on it, we really feel like we need to check into it and do a good job with it and that they're doing a good job with the money and the handling of the money. And so that's a great question.
Starting point is 00:27:05 What a great heart you got, Patty. That's awesome. Courtney is with us, and Courtney's next. She's in North Carolina. Hi, Courtney. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you for taking my call.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Sure. What's up? So I have a quick question. I am currently in Baby Step 2, but my company requires that I contribute 4% to my retirement fund. And we have the option of doing a 403B, like traditional 403B or a Roth. And I've been told different things about what I should choose since I'm younger.
Starting point is 00:27:36 People have said I should start out with a traditional. Who do you work for? I work for a hospital. They require? Yeah. Are you sure yes very unusual for a hospital to do that, like highly unusual. I want you to double check that, okay? Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:09 I'm not sure. I think someone might be strongly suggesting how bright it is to go be getting that match, and I wouldn't disagree with that part of the discussion. But for a hospital to require a 4% contribution is highly unusual. This is not a hospital corporation. This is a ministry of some kind or a religious-based hospital of some kind? No. No? No.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Hmm. I'm shocked. Okay. I want you to double-check that. Okay. But either way, the answer to your question is when you get there, or if you're there now, because they do require it and I'm wrong uh then what you'll do is you want to do the roth for sure because the roth grows tax-free the vast majority of what will be in
Starting point is 00:28:51 your account when you get to retirement will be growth i mean if there's two million dollars in there a million dollars in there almost all of it is growth it won't be what you've put in and you're either going to pay taxes on that million dollars or you're not. Okay. I prefer not. And not is Roth. Roth is not paying taxes. It is tax-free growth.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Hope that helps you. Thanks for the call. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. our scripture of the day every good and perfect gift is from above coming down from the father of the heavenly lights who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1, 17. Dwayne Johnson said, success isn't always about greatness. It's about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Greatness will come. Well, guys, if you know anything about our show, you know we tell the truth about credit cards. Points, airline miles, and rewards are gimmicks. Credit card companies use to keep you in debt. And Americans are falling for it. Consumers have $850 billion of credit card debt. This is nuts!
Starting point is 00:30:39 So you've got to change how you behave with money. And we can teach you how. For 25 years, Financial Peace University has taught almost 6 million people. Got to change how you behave with money, and we can teach you how. For 25 years, Financial Peace University has taught almost 6 million people how to not only get out of debt, not only save, never touch a credit card again, but build wealth and change your family tree. It's possible to live without credit cards. Go to DaveRamsey.com. We'll show you how.
Starting point is 00:31:04 Check out financial peace University or call the Ramsey concierge team at triple 822 peace triple 8227 3223 love it well if you're in sales listen up we are hiring sales professionals for three of our teams right now, our media team, our Ramsey education with the high school curriculum team, and our entree leadership team working with small businesses. If you're interested in working here, we're only looking for people who care very deeply and who work their butts off. We don't fool around around here. We got stuff to do, and we don't have enough people to do it. So click the Dave's Hiring tab if you want to see the positions we're hiring for. Marketing and sales is one of them right now for Entree Leadership, Ramsey Media, and Ramsey Education.
Starting point is 00:31:59 Click Dave's Hiring on the right-hand side of the webpage, and it'll make it happen. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Dayo is with us in Maryland. Hi, Dayo. How are you? Good afternoon, Mr. Ramsey. How are you doing today? Better than I deserve.
Starting point is 00:32:15 What's up? My husband and I took Financial Peace University in November of 2017 through our church. Prior to that, we had a lot of financial issues in our family, and we were separate with the way we managed finances. After the class, during the class, we were encouraged to get rid of our credit cards, and he was completely on board. We cut up the credit cards. We paid everything off. So far, we started out with debt of $230,000 of non-mortgage debt. And we've been able to pay down to $110,000. Way to go. Wow. Thank you. But we've had also other family problems, just marital issues that we're dealing with and we're in counseling for.
Starting point is 00:33:08 During one of our situations, he expressed to me voluntarily that he opened one of the credit cards, which we had in my mind was already gone, and that he used a portion of the credit card to consult for the consultation from the lawyers. And that didn't make sense to me because the amount of money that he told me he spent for consultation and retention fee for a lawyer was $2,300. And the situation that he was referring to that made him go to a lawyer didn't seem like it was something that he should have done that. So I went doing my own investigation and found that he had actually been using the credit card for more than a year now for other purchases, just personal things that he needed, Ikea, Barnes & Noble, and things of that nature,
Starting point is 00:34:11 and just spent $300 for a legal consultation, which didn't make sense to me, but that's exactly what I found out. When I confronted him with the information, he initially did not want to own up to it, wasn't outright and upfront about the situation. But my question now is how do I, we've been able to move past that. We've gone to counseling and we're working through the marital issues. And he's promised me that he was going to try to pay up the credit cards on his own. I don't have to worry about it. It's not part of our snowball, and it's not my issue.
Starting point is 00:34:51 But I just feel completely betrayed because we had taken this class, and we had been doing so well. How long ago did all this occur? This happened within a week, about a a week a week ago right now yes but i found out about the credit card yes you found out about the credit card one week ago less than a week maybe about five days ago and you already met with your counselor about this and already moved on is what you said well regarding the marital issues oh you've not discussed the fact that he lied to you about a credit card with your marriage counselor no we haven't gotten there
Starting point is 00:35:31 yet yeah you need to let me let me tell you what's happening here okay you you're on unstable ground you're walking across the pond on frozen ice and it's cracking all around you. And you feel really scared because you don't know what to trust because trust has been broken in several different areas of this relationship. Am I right? That is correct. Yeah. And this is yet one more. And so what we've found in our financial coaching and working with marriage counselors is
Starting point is 00:36:06 that when someone lies about something after we have a solid marital contract meaning you all had you know had a handshake agreement that you'd gone to the class you weren't using credit cards anymore and he straight up lied and deceived and hid this from you, that it activates the same part of your emotions that an affair does. And so people in our world have started calling it financial infidelity because it makes you feel kind of the same way, right? That's exactly how I feel. But somehow I'm getting the feeling that he thinks it's all about the money. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:36:44 It's all about lying. It's all about lying. And it's all about the money. No, it's not. It's all about lying. It's about the trust. It's all about lying, and it's all about trust. The money is not an issue. You start with $230,000, you're down to $110,000. $2,300 is not a problem, right? That is absolutely correct. It is not about the money.
Starting point is 00:37:03 This is not a math problem. This is a you lied to me, hid from me, stole from our family, and think it's okay, and it's not freaking okay. And that's what you're feeling. That's how I'm feeling. Yeah, betrayed. It's a trust has been broken. And so, yeah, this is something you guys really need to unpack with your counselor and i'm glad you've got one you need one and continue to work this through um because he needs to grasp the idea that lying to his wife is
Starting point is 00:37:38 probably not going to work out well yes about anything so i guess my question now is do i do we proceed do we continue with the yes assuming we can get back on the page of trust but dude you know you really have he's really he's really asking to end his marriage if he keeps this crap up because you probably only got one or two with more of these things in you and you're going to be done you're going you know because any normal sane human being is not going to put up with somebody just looking you in the face and lying to you all the time so this guy y'all misbehaved you got all these other issues all these things with financial problems and everything else you've've worked it through. You were on a path towards healing.
Starting point is 00:38:26 And he decides to, you know, sidebar here with this. And you start to wonder, what else have you lied to me about? And that's just normal human nature. I don't know if he's lied to you about something else or not. But, I mean, I'm wondering if he's willing to lie to you about Barnes & Noble. My God, that's a fairly low bar. What's he willing to lie about? You know?
Starting point is 00:38:49 What if it was something big that actually mattered? You know? So, yeah. Yeah, I think this goes to the counselor, and I think you guys work it through. And know you're not being crazy to have the feelings that you have. Hopefully, y'all can work them through. I hope you can. I hope he stops this misbehavior,
Starting point is 00:39:06 and I hope there's not other misbehavior tied to this credit card. But that's what you're looking for, is you're trying to rebuild trust. And you're exactly right. This is a trust problem. Thanks for the call. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it.
Starting point is 00:39:23 In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. This is James Childs, producer of the Dave Ramsey Show. Once again, you made the Dave Ramsey Show one of the top five most downloaded podcasts last year. To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration subscribe today

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