The Ramsey Show - App - You Can Stay Broke Or Start Changing
Episode Date: October 9, 2025🤔 Can an online will work for you? Take this quiz to find out! Jade Warshaw and Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss: "Should we accept money from my in-l...aws?" "I can't pay my bills, should I file bankruptcy?" "When can we open "fun" accounts while working the Baby Steps?" "How do I build my credit score without debt?" "Is using a line of credit a good way to pay off a house faster?" "When in the Baby Steps do we start saving for adoption?" Next Steps: ✔️ Help us make the show better. Please take this short survey. 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or send us an email. 📱 Get episodes early in the free Ramsey Network app! 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! ❓ Find out where you stand with your money and get a free plan. 🏠 Find a Ramsey Trusted Real Estate Agent 📚 Set and actually reach your goals with the NEW 2026 Ramsey Goal Planner! Hurry—they sell out every year! Connect With Our Sponsors: Stop paying more and start shopping smarter at ALDI. Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. Go to Boost Mobile to switch today! Go to Casper Sleep and use promo code RAMSEY to learn more. Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. Get started today with Churchill Mortgage. Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! Find top health insurance plans at Health Trust Financial. Use code RAMSEY to save 20% at Mama Bear Legal Forms. Visit NetSuite today to learn more. For more information, go to SimpliSafe. Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY. Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today! Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
Transcript
Discussion (0)
normal is broke and common sense is weird so we're here to help you transform your life from the ramsie
network in the fair wins credit union studio this is the ramsie show all right we're talking
about your life and money nothing's changed the number is 888 825 5225 that'll get
you on the line. I'm here with Dr. John Deloney. I'm Jade Warshaw. Let's get into it. John. Let's get
involved. We got Dana in Phoenix, Arizona. What's up, Dana?
Hi, thank you for taking my call. I really appreciate it. No problem.
My question is whether or not my husband and I should accept a gift of $38,000 from our in-laws
when there is a major history of dysfunction around money in his family. What's the gift for?
Why is it just out of the blue or is it for something specific?
They pretty regularly are trying to give us money and pay for things, but this gift apparently
is for tax purposes.
They recently met with their financial planner, tax accountant who told them that because
of their gains that they made this year in the stock market, that it would be tax advantageous
for them to gift each of us $19,000.
The back story really is that his parents have used money as a tool for control and manipulation in the past,
so much so that when we were planning our wedding 17 years ago,
we ended up eloping because of their behavior around money.
Wow.
And the money issues as well as other things led to us not having a relationship with them for 10 years.
Is it just your husband or are there other children?
He has a brother.
Things are kind of different with his brother's relationship with his parents.
They just have very different personalities and how they handle things.
So the money's not been a problem for the brother that you know of, or is it kind of a problem for him too?
Well, they've sort of used the same tactics with his brother, except that his brother and his wife gladly accept money from them anytime it's offered.
since they've reestablished their relationship, my husband and his parents six years ago,
they actually ended up moving to our small town two years ago.
And since then, it's just they're constantly trying to give us money.
We're business owners.
Give us an example of the manipulation.
Tell us what that looks like.
Tell us what happened either with the wedding or tell us.
I want a recent one.
Yeah.
You want a recent one.
So anytime, so like I said, we're business.
owners, anytime something happens, so if a truck breaks down or, you know, just regular business
things happen, it's let us pay for it, we'll pay for it, we'll buy you another truck.
And when we say no, they tell my husband that he's being difficult, they don't understand
why they won't let him, let them just help.
And what does he say?
There's crying, there's a lot of emotional manipulation.
Jay's question is important.
What is his next statement?
If his next statement is, I love y'all too much.
much and I'm so glad we have our relationship back. I can't let money come between us. That's one
thing. If he, when they start crying and he says, fine, just fine, then that's another thing.
So what's his response? His response to them is that we're just not comfortable taking the money
or the help. I don't know how in depth he's got with them about because of money issues in the past,
because generally when he's tried to bring up things from the past, he's usually met with,
I don't know what you're talking about, that never happened.
And what were those?
I need from you, Dana, like the raw and the real.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, tell me, when we did it, he slapped her and said that he was ungrateful.
Like, tell me the drama part of it, because honestly, at this point, as you're telling me,
it doesn't really sound like they're bad people or, like, doing anything wrong, per se.
It just sounds like they see an area they want to help and they're confused.
that you don't want their help.
And them being confused doesn't make them bad guys to me or manipulators.
It just makes them parents that are overstepping a boundary that maybe you've laid over and over
again and they just can't see why you wouldn't want to take a gift.
Tell me the toxic part of it.
Is there a toxic part of it where when you take the money, they try to control you and tell me
that part?
Yes.
So I'll give you our wedding example.
When we were planning our wedding where we were getting married with a resort by a creek
and as is traditional and normal, we asked his parents to pay for their lodging.
My father was paying for our wedding, and the lodging that we offered to them,
my parents asked, do they want this house?
It was the house that was right next to the creek.
It had four or five bedrooms in it, and we figured that their whole immediate family
and everyone could stay in that house since they were traveling.
And if they didn't want that house, my parents would have paid for it.
um when we presented it to my father-in-law he said of course he paid for it and then as soon as
money was involved we started getting constant phone calls telling us what to do with our wedding
how to plan the wedding who could come who couldn't come I remember very specifically getting a phone
call from my father-in-law asking me when I was going to send the save the date and my timeline on sending
them was unacceptable to him and he specifically said to me this isn't rocket science Dana
you need to send it.
Got you.
Okay.
Now I'm starting to get it.
Okay.
So you had this bad thing that happened a long time ago and it's kind of left a bad taste in everybody's mouth.
You don't want to take money anymore.
And when you try to explain to them, hey, the last time we took money, this is how you guys acted.
We don't want to do that again.
They're kind of like, don't bring up the past.
What are you talking about?
They're doing that, right?
Well, the thing is, we haven't really addressed the past.
Okay.
So it sounds, I mean, John, jump in here because.
Yeah.
Here's you know, did your husband, do you all just not want to take this money?
Well, the issue is mostly for our business.
We're very proud of ourselves that we've built this business.
Yeah, but there's a point of that where it becomes ego.
Right, because I'm just, listen, I'm looking at $38,000.
I'm like, tell me more because this is a lot of...
I built something cool, too.
And if you want to send me $30,000, I'm happy to take it.
Right. And I think it's just that...
You all have had a grenade dropped.
Grenade's probably dramatic.
You've had a large firecracker dropped in your living room.
They offered you 38 gram.
If you take it, that might come with,
you're going to do Christmas here because we gave you this money.
And you're going to say, no, we don't want to do Christmas there.
We're going to do somewhere else.
And you're going to have an adult temper tantrum on their side.
Or you're going to say no to the money,
and you're going to have an adult temper tantrum on their side.
So they've already taken the step.
So really, really.
here's the here's the bigger issue you're still no matter what decision you'll make you are letting
them drive the right decision for you and your husband and at some point y'all have to decide that
we decide what's best for us and if it's taking the money and dealing with drama or dealing
with somebody saying you didn't send these out in the right time shut up who cares yeah okay man
say on the front end, hey, we're not, we just want you to know, we're so grateful and this is such
a nice gift, but please, we don't want any strings to be attached, which means if it's a gift,
it's a gift, and we'd be grateful to you for giving it, but we're hoping that there'll be nothing
else attached to it. And if there is, let us know now so we can decide. That's what I'd, that's what
I'd say. Or they can create a 529 for their grandkids. Yeah. Or just say, we don't, we don't want
your money. Yeah, you could say that too. Because I'm willing to bet.
I'm willing to bet you would have started getting those emails and calls if he hadn't
have had to pay for his own place for that wedding.
Is that fair?
Yeah.
So they're going to be like this, whether they're giving you money or not, right?
Oh, that's such a good point.
Yeah.
It's just such an ongoing issue.
I just don't, I know it's important.
I don't think.
I don't want our relationship to get affected.
Dana, I don't think it's the money.
The relationship's already affected.
It's already a problem.
Yeah.
I don't think the money is the problem.
I think their personality style and their personality traits are the problem.
And money just magnifies everything.
right it magnifies you as you already are it makes you more of what you already are so it's more of
i don't really like their personality they're controlling people that's another topic so you're in a fight
take the money or don't take the money but you're going to have a fight either way
all right back to the phone lines we go we've got kelly who's in north carolina kelly
how can we help today hi
got some credit card debt and two of them is over 26,000, 26,706. I'm overwhelmed. I've tried to
keep up with everything, but with the interest rate, I'm not getting anywhere. And so I don't
know what to do. I don't know what it is for bankruptcy. I've called different debt things
and they want like the fees
or like $16,000
$10,000 for fees
and in my hand
I don't see that that's true
I don't know what to do I don't know what it's
on bankruptcy or what to do
we've
we've cleared off
I think five six cards
and they're shut down
we're shutting down as far as we can
but the
two and we have a couple others but we can work those through but the two with the chase
and i'm at williams i don't know what to do okay kelly so you told me the the two that's got the
26,000 on it can you tell me the rest of the debt yes i can um well i thought i could so because you
mentioned you said the two combined is 26,706. Then you said there's a couple others that you can
kind of handle. Yeah. There's one that's 8,000 was discovered. Okay. But I think that we could
handle that. And there's another one I think that we owe fine when I had it right in front of me. Now I
can't see it. That's okay. You look for that and I'll just verify a couple other simple questions.
You said we. Is it you and your husband?
Yes.
Okay. How old are you guys?
My husband is 78, and I just turned 76.
My husband had pastored for 56 years. We lived in church parsing, and so then we had to move into a house, and we used a lot of credit card.
Okay. So you guys have really been using credit cards to live on?
Yes. Okay.
That is so true. It was so true.
I'm sorry, Kelly
That's okay, I need to bite my
bottom milk for a minute
No, you're okay to be sad
You're right to be sad
But I'm trying to
I'm trying to work it out
I don't know
Should I try to call
No, no, no, you called the right place
You call the right place
What's your total
If you had to add up all the money
that you owe somebody else
How much is that?
Well,
Discover we owe $8,236.505 cents.
And there's another small one, and I can't find it.
It's like $430 or something like that.
We can do that.
I want to do what's right before the Lord there.
Well, listen, you're on the right track.
Your heart and your mind are saying, I need to clean up this mess,
and that's the first step.
and we're going to help you with the rest.
We don't go out to eat.
I believe you.
I have selling stuff right and left like there's something somebody's supposed to come
and buy today that if they show up will help.
Yeah, listen, I believe that you're doing all that.
Kelly, I think you're doing all the right things.
We're going to try to help you take the next step.
Can you tell us what your income is every month between?
Yes, I can't.
My, let me get my lecture here.
I get $1,638.60 in Medicare.
Okay.
We have a house rental that we get $1,012.50 a month.
My husband gets, his Social Security is $1,05.
$598 in 90 cents a month.
$1,0598, uh-huh.
And then from the Southern Baptist, he gets, it's called a housing allowance, so we don't have
any tax on it, and that's $382.339 a month.
Okay.
And then he gets a small VA disability check of $1.70.
123 a month. Okay. And then he gets a small retirement, 372.95 for teachers retirement.
Okay. So you're almost $5,000 a month, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good. So, I mean, I'm really,
how much of that do you pay? I know you get a housing allowance, but how much of that do you pay
to your home every month?
Our house payment is $2,166.4.
Okay.
That's a big part of this while you're feeling so much stress, okay?
Your housing payments high.
And can you tell me, you said you moved into that house recently.
Can you tell me what the house, what you purchased it for?
Well, 19 years ago when my husband was pastor, he had a,
a major heart attack while preaching, and he had to have a four bypass, and we were a long ways
away from the hospital, and so we stayed at a place called Annette House. So one of our heart's
dreams that we would pay that forward. So our heart was the house that we have here has three
bedrooms downstairs and a very, very large room upstairs. Got it. So what we want to do is
establish a place called the Shepherds' home.
Understood.
They can come and stay with us and we can still minister to them.
I love, go ahead, John.
I was going to say, Kelly, can I tell you something, and I'm telling you because I love you?
Yes.
Y'all can't afford to do that right now.
Your heart is so big, and it's like, it was such a blessing, but you all aren't in a position
to do that right now because y'all can't make your basic payments.
your basic bills and that dream is amazing and we know that we can't do it until we get out of debt
I know but you don't even if you were out of debt like sustainably speaking like it's it's
it I don't know there's ever a scenario where 50% of your take-home pay or 40% of your
take-home pay should go to housing because housing the taxes are going to go up the cost
of electricity is going to go. Like, this is going to continue to be an escalating burden for you.
Yeah, the cost of living is going to go up, but you're on a fixed income, which that means it's
going to stay the same. So we've got to get you in a position that's sustainable for you to manage
the monthly payment of your rent or mortgage, and also, to your point, make some headway on these
credit cards because you can't pay them off making the minimum payment. Do you have any equity in
this house that if you all sold it, you could clear your debts? No, we don't. We don't. We
We don't have, we have, well, and one of the things I didn't understand is the first year we overpaid our taxes on the house.
And the tax company here did a refund to the mortgage company.
And I told the mortgage company, I said, we've overpaid you.
You need to either give us that money back or let us apply that $7,000 overpayment to,
to principal
and they said no
it went back in escrow
for the following year
yeah it just goes into the following years
taxes so you're not going to lose that money
you just don't get it right now
it's gone towards the next year's taxes
so
but every
every month they take out money
out of our thing for the taxes
so why didn't they
I didn't know
I want to hold you over
because your problem is one
that millions and millions of people are facing
and so I want to give you a step by step
plan and I don't want to get distracted by will the tax over here and this over there but I want to
I want you to hang on the line we're going to go to a break and we come back we're going to walk
through this with you but you're going to have to open your heart up to some significant changes in
how you're doing life so that y'all can put your own oxygen mask on first and then be able to
take care of the people around you.
If you're a person who's been rocking with us for a while, you've been watching the show on YouTube,
maybe you check it out on podcast or on the Ramsey Network app.
Hey, maybe you're still listening to us on a thing called the radio.
We're really grateful for that.
When was the last time you had the radio on?
I had it on this week.
I love that for you.
Just listen to old country music.
I love that.
Wow, that's great.
And hey, here's a flex.
My son, he's 15, is like, Dad, turn off this, just turn the radio on.
And I'm just wondering if they're done with the,
If we're reverting back?
Yep.
I love it.
Listen, wherever you're listening to the show, first off, we just want to say thank you for listening.
If it wasn't for you guys, John and I wouldn't have jobs.
So thank you so much for listening.
And if this show has done anything for you, take a moment and share it with somebody.
Honestly, the best marketing plan out there is just word of mouth.
So if you like the show, if we said something that hit, share it with somebody, hit the little
paper airplane on social or, you know, send them a link, you know, slide in their DMs, whatever,
whatever method of choice that you have keep sharing the show we really really appreciate it
something that you can do totally free and only takes a second of your time but it has a great
great benefit thank you so much okay we are going to go back on the line remember kelly was
on the line a few minutes ago just a little recap her and her husband 78 76 years old
they've got a decent amount of debt so far it looks like they've got somewhere around maybe
$36,000 of debt we haven't gotten the exact number yet but they're making $5,000 a month
and she's looking for a way out.
We were able to figure out that her house payment is 2,100 of the 5,000.
So right now we're talking about what it looks like, Kelly, to sell your house
because I know that you have a dream of ministry and, you know,
being able to gift those rooms to people in need in your three-bedroom house.
Or is there a possibility that you, in the short term, maybe the next year, Kelly,
that you invited people to live with you and charged them $1,000 a month or $500 or $800 a month,
and they could rent the rooms from you for the next year, the next two years,
while you all climb out of debt and get yourselves in a better position.
Well, actually, we have a really, really large room upstairs that has, you know, complete bathroom.
It's got a couch.
Sure, sure, sure.
Clean bed and everything.
and we've thought about renting that out
but everybody that we've talked to
wants an outside entrance.
Sure, I can see you.
Kelly, I'm going to shoot you straight.
Here's the, yeah, here's where you find yourself.
I'm going to shoot you straight.
You've got to sell your house.
Renting is putting way more on your plate
at 78 years old.
It's something that you'll have to keep up indefinitely
because like I said before, you're on that fixed income.
So your plan today, I'm going to tell you right off the bat,
your plan is to rent, put your house up for sale,
get on ramsysolutions.com and find yourself a realtor because we have the best in the business
and you got to sell this house and after that you've got to find something even if you rent for a while
something that is only 25% of your take home pay that's all you can afford so you're spending like
$1,250 a month or $1,500 a month that's basically your budget there and then from there we're going to do
a little thing called the debt snowball you're going to list and you're going to go through
tonight with your husband and you're going to find all the things that you owe. You're going to list
them from smallest to largest and you're going to pay the minimum payment on everything, Kelly,
but the smallest debt, that's where you put all your extra money until you knock it out. So it sounded
like you had one that was for about $430. Let's get that one knocked out immediately. And so that's how
this is going to work. And then you'll go to the next smallest debt. In the meantime, we're going to get
you hooked up with every dollar. And on every dollar, you can get a free coaching call. So we're going to
sure to get you hooked up. Our phone screener's going to pick up and make sure to get you hooked
up with that, okay? So you're all taking care of. I think something else I want to call out here.
If you have too much house, right? And by the way, let's go back to Kelly, for those of you
who are just tuning in. Kelly and her husband were beneficiaries of some free housing while
they had a major medical emergency, you know, years ago. And they've always had the dream of being
able to offer that sort of support for somebody else. That's amazing.
and they've got a math problem,
which is we can't afford to pay off our debts
and make our payments.
Right, right, right.
So if you buy a house that's too much,
usually that means, depending on what market you're in,
that house is big,
which means your electric bill is high,
your water bill is more,
to air, to air conditioning heat that place is more.
So in their situation,
they may be looking at a one-bedroom apartment
because that's what they can afford.
Absolutely.
And that also drops their utility payments.
it drops everything so you're not just going to see the the savings in the mortgage you're going to see
savings that come from all over the place and that can help you get out of there faster and let me just
can i just say this because i feel like we live in a world today where everything has to be bigger and
better and flashier and newer can i just say there's no shame in living on your hard-earned income
yeah and just living on what your income can afford you that credit card companies will make you feel like you
need more and we need extra but to just
work hard and in her case to have worked hard for you know seven levels of life right and to just
say okay we worked hard for seven seven decades we got five thousand dollars that is our income and
we're going to live on that and have pride in that and feel good about that there is no shame in
the game of that that's right and i just might look differently than you dreamed your 70s would
look right um but man oh man that you're talking about an amazing woman an amazing husband
who are really on the edge they can't handle another financial emergency
another health issue.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
All right, let's go to Lucy, who's in Atlanta.
All right, Lucy, how can we help you today?
Hi, Jade.
Hi, John.
How are y'all?
Doing great.
Good.
It's nice to talk with y'all.
I'm very honored to speak with you.
I grew up in Murphy'sboro, Tennessee, right down the road from y'all,
and we took a Ramsey course, my senior year of high school, got away from it a little bit,
came back here recently about three months ago, and started listening to the show,
and I, me and my husband, we got married about a year and a half ago, both brought some
credit card debt into the relationship and ended up paying that off as of yesterday.
Good.
So we paid off about $7,000.
And so now we're on baby step three, obviously saving for three to six months of expenses.
But I kind of wanted to know, I mentioned this to my dad, and he had said that it would be a good idea
to reach out to you on through what you think.
once we save up for that three to six months of emergency fund would you recommend saving even more
just in case anything happens like with our roof I know that's technically what the emergency fund is
for yeah or even putting stuff aside for travel fun items okay so yeah we're talking about
two different things I love the question um yeah after baby step three so the purpose of baby step
three let's just reiterate is for emergencies it is a fully funded emergency fund
and we suggest three to six months. Now, whether you do three or six months is largely dependent on
personal factors. So if you're a single person with one income and maybe you have a health issue
that flares up every couple years, you want six months, right? You want more. You want to make sure
you can cover your deductible, all of that. If you're a family, maybe you're a family and your dinks
and you both have a high income, you have stable jobs, your healthy people, maybe you opt for
three months, right? So it's up to you depending on those sorts of factors. In today's world,
I'm not going to lie, for most people, I'm like just going ahead and do six months. I just feel like
we like that security the way the world is now. I don't know. So once you get that six months,
Lucy, that's really all you need. Now, from there, if you're going to continue to save up for other
areas that are kind of like sinking fund areas, whether it be like you said, we know we need a new
roof. We know that's coming. If you know something's coming, it's not an emergency. So yeah, you need to
save up. If you know you want to purchase, you know, upgrade your car or you know that you're putting a
down payment on a house, right? So those are sinking funds. And just a reiteration, maintenance and
known maintenance, John, is not an emergency. You know your car is going to need new tires. Save up for it.
you know if you have a leak and you see it starting to form and you know like, hey,
I'm not going to run this through insurance.
We're just going to pay for it.
Save up for it.
That's not an emergency.
You see it coming.
You know it's coming.
So that's just a little sidebar there.
But yeah.
The thing that happened to me and my wife is we had to replace the roof without thinking
we're going to have to.
And then, of course, that's when the air conditioner went out.
Right.
So we were able to save up for the roof issue and we had an emergency fund for the air conditioner.
and if we had just tried to play it out,
be like, just pretend it's an, we'll wait until it's an emergency.
Yeah.
You'll double and triple up on you.
And now my screen said, you never mentioned this,
my screen said, when can we open fun accounts while working the baby steps?
You didn't mention anything about that.
So let me just hit that right quick.
Yeah, after Baby Step 3 is when it's time to start having some fun again.
So that's when you add back in those fun money categories.
Go to dinner, go to movies.
You'll go on a trip.
Go have fun.
all right the all new every dollar is here and now it's way more than just our world class budgeting app
there's a ton of advanced features to help you make faster progress with your money as a matter
fact the average person finds thousands of dollars in margin in just the first 15 minutes matter
fact we've gotten some calls through here john already of people saying hey guys i'm in the all new
dollar and I've already found, you know, X amount of margin and I'm putting it towards my
debt. And so I think that's really exciting to hear. But you can start today at every
dollar. You can start your every dollar today for free. You can get in the app store or at Google
Play. But guys, I'm telling you, you get in there, you do a quick onboarding and don't try to
skip the onboarding because that's where they find out everything they need to know so that you
can have a personalized plan. So it just takes a few minutes. Give them the information. Then it's
going to spit back, hey, based on what you told us, here's the amount of money that we can find you.
And I'm telling you, there is money hiding in plain sight in your budget and in your finances.
You just needed somebody else to look at it. And so it'll look at it, spit back and say, hey,
we found you X amount of thousands of dollars. And then it'll tell you, here's what you need to do
to get it. And so then you can say, do I want to do what it's telling me to do or do I not want to
do what it's telling me to do. And so you go through the recommendations it gives you.
And then you can say, hey, I agree. Maybe I agree to these, but I'm
I don't agree to those, and you check the boxes, and then it'll say, okay, based on the ones you
agreed to, now here's how much money you'll have, and it'll keep walking with you as you do
what it's teaching you to do. It really is, John, as though you had myself or you in your pocket.
You don't want me there, but it's like having you or Dave or George, that's what they're talking
about. But yes, it's pretty amazing. It's pretty awesome. So if you don't know, now you know.
All right, we got Eric, who's in Knoxville, Tennessee, right down the road. What's up, Eric?
Hey guys, thank you for taking my call.
You got it, brother. What's up?
My question is, well, I'm 19 years old, and I'm getting married next year.
Congratulations, man.
Thank you. And I feel like I've always been generally pretty smart with my money.
I've never had to take out money for anything. I paid for my car and cash.
And I grew up on 21 acres with my parents.
And I've saved up enough money that I was able to build my own.
mini home at the bottom of the property.
Dude, way to go, man.
I paid cash for that and everything.
What?
But I'm still in school.
Hold on, hold on.
You're just blown by this.
You are in a better shape than most people in the country.
It's incredible, dude.
And I know that sounds silly.
Like you've got to pay for a car.
You've got a paid for a place to live.
Right?
That's amazing.
Yes, sir.
Who taught you this?
My parents.
And I've always, I mean, I've been watching Dave Ramsey since I was 12, 13.
Lots of people watch, but very few people live it like you are, man.
Well, done, brother.
That's cool.
So how can we help?
Well, my question is, I know later down the road, it's just, you know, 500 square feet really small.
I know later down the road, probably five, four or five years, I'm going to want to be able to buy a house.
But me and my fiancé, we have no form of credit coming in at all.
Good.
We've never had loans on anything.
Fantastic.
The only loans will even be taking into the marriage.
is she's about the graduate nursing school so we'll have um about 15k in student loans okay
and i'm hoping to have that paid off in the first year um i'm still in school so i'm just working
part-time so i'm working as a pest control technician part-time okay good so i'm only making about
30k and she has a job lined up making about 75k when she graduates so our first year of marriage
take home should be about 100k right but um my question
is just when I want to, you know, take that next step and naturally build a house and
build a family. Is there something we should be doing to build credit? No, but I do want to
address that. So there's a couple areas of this I do want to address. I agree with John. I think
that you're doing a fabulous job. But I also want to say there's no rush. So that is the, if you can
embrace that, then you're going to be home free. There's a lot of times, John, this rush just like,
I get married. Then I got to get the house. Then I got to do it. It's like you're trying to like check
boxes really fast. And you've got so much time, Eric, and you're in such a good position.
I don't want you in such a rush that you start going back on all of the things that got you where you
are today, which is you're, I don't borrow money. And I'm not interested in building this credit
score. Right. Those are all these things that you've done and you've gotten great results.
Right. The fruit of that is amazing. So just remind yourself, the fruit is the proof, right?
The fruit of what you've been doing is the proof.
that it's been working for you. So don't go back on it. Now, here's the thing. Let's talk about
the no credit score thing because you're right. When you guys get married, you're not going to
have a zero credit score because you've got the student loan open here. And so until you guys
get that paid off, get that account closed, and then it's going to take another six to eight
months for your score to drop away or for your wife's score to drop away. Yeah, it'll be tough
for you to buy a house with a low credit score. Does that make sense? So having a
low credit score is not going to help you out, but once you pay it off and you have a no credit
score, you will be able to do that. And we're always going to suggest John Churchill mortgage.
That's who I have my mortgage with, John. I'm pretty sure when you had a mortgage. That's
who you had it with. And do my credit score was zero. It was non-existent, none. And they just do a
process called manual underwriting. And that's the way they've done it for a trillion years before they
started turning us all into algorithms. And that just means I had to send them a letter from my
employer, I'd send them a tax return, I'd just send them proof of employment, and an actual
human looked at an actual file. And they're like, oh, this guy's got a great job. He has always
paid his bills on time. No-brainer. Here you go. Gotcha. Does that make sense?
I'm glad you're asking this question. Here's what a credit score is. It is not, or let me say
what it's not, it is not an indicator of your wealth, how much wealth you have. It's not an
indicator of how well you're doing financially. It simply is a dating score for how well
well you've dated in the past, except it's not asking about girls you've dated, it's asking about
banks you've dated. So if I gave you five million dollars right now, your credit score would still be
zero. That's a shame. It has nothing to do with your wealth. It has everything to do with,
have you borrowed money from a car dealership once and you paid them back? Okay, we'll give you some
points for that. Did you one time borrow from somebody else? It's just a report card for how well
you've managed debt in the past. And so far, you've been a dude that just doesn't play that
game. And they can't get, the system can't get its hooks in you. And so it says, well,
you've got to have this number, otherwise you're not a wealthy person. It's not true. It's just not
true. And so you, Jade, I love what you said, brother. Listen, y'all come on with 100 and, what was
110,000? Yep. 110 grand. So let's say after taxes, y'all are holding $60,000 next year. In the first three
months you should pay off this entire student loan to be done with it then you're all going to have
$45,000 if y'all can eat light you have no bills right or very very minimal bills
other than like a cell phone bill and a small light bill or whatever if y'all could stay in this
house for two years you'll literally have I don't know 75 to 85000 dollars in cash that's right
when you all decide to move out would that be fun to live in 500 square feet for two with two people
no but dude if you all wait it's like we're going to wait till we can drink legally sure the day we
can buy a beer in a restaurant, we are going to go buy a house. Y'all will be able to put 80 grand down
or more, 100 grand down. And let's not forget. I mean, there's always the option to rent. Let's say
you do start hating each other's face and 500 square feet. Like that could happen. Like that could
happen. And you're like, man, we got to get out of here. Just know again, pump the brakes. You don't
have to buy a house tomorrow. You can always go rent a two bedroom apartment. Right. And then you can
still save up money like John is saying. So you have options. And no way are these people.
like painted into a corner they've got so much time so many options so little debt
people always ask me what would you go tell your 1821 year old self and I often say nothing
because that guy was an idiot wouldn't listen to anybody but if I could get one message through
to him it would be slow down yeah slow down relax and I hear that and I was so amped about
having a car and having a place and have it slow down man instead of saying in like in this in this
guy's case just put a date on the calendar when we are 22 we're going to buy a house let's
see how much cash we could have in the bank by 22. Let's see if we can live in a way that we have
this much money by 22. It will change everything in your life moving forward. All of the things.
100%. Oh, so true. All right. Hail Mary, if you could go back and change one thing you did
when you were 19. What is it? 19. Well, he's 19. That's why I picked 19. Like if you could go.
I'll say 21. I left and I drove an 88 Tersell easy hatchback that was the size of a small
wheelbarrel through college. So I graduated with my student loan debt, and the first thing I did
was went and bought the biggest truck I could find. And so my first year out of college, I almost
doubled or tripled my debt. Holy smokes. All right. Yeah, that's a big one. What about you?
I straightened my hair instead of leaving it early. My wasn't as big of a deal as yours.
I ruined my financial future. I ruined a photo. I got a relaxer.
Keep hanging out with us. There's more show to come.
All right, welcome back to the Ramsey show here in the Fair One's Credit Union Studio, continuing to take calls about your life and your money.
Again, if you were wondering, how can I call that show, Jade, or John?
The number is 888-825-5-2-25.
No worries if you don't get on the line.
You can leave a message and we'll still schedule your call for another time.
All right, Hattie is in St. Louis, Missouri.
Patty, how can we help today?
Hi, Jane, John.
My question is, my husband and I are just getting ready to purchase our first home,
and I keep hearing about doing a line of credit, a $10,000 line of credit to make a bulk payment,
and then putting your paychecks into that and paying all your bills out of that to build $10,000 up again.
but you've got to do me a favor do me a huge favor
my mind just exploded please delete instagram off your phone for 60 days
okay just get off just get off okay for real just get off
I can do that it's Facebook actually but I can do that
whichever what it is for 60 days and then I want you to solve for one thing
and one thing only okay okay peace okay I was just talking to my one
my oldest best friends on the planet yesterday. This is an honest conversation. And I was asking
him a question about, hey, if I move this here and I move this over here, and I pay this here,
and he said, hey, you're doing a whole bunch of work for like 1.8%. And he said, you're the guy
who tells me you solve for peace, not for arbitrage. And I was like, I'm getting off the phone now.
You're right. Okay. I was going to move it to this account because this one's got 3.4. And
interest ratio just dropped what if i moved it over to this one and he's like bro relax and then he
did a quick calculation it's like you're doing all this for like 70 dollars like go enjoy your life
and he was right yeah i have accounting background so i was like well what does this number
actually crash and i'm like okay this perks kind of but does it really and i just wanted to
hear somebody else say it's okay just make double payments you'll be just fine make triple quadruple
payments make stupid amounts of payments but like jade and i will both tell you the best like we can tell you
what we do in our house
yeah like we borrowed a mortgage and we put on a 15 year note and we just paid as
aggressively as we could just make extra payments make extra payments
ta-da uh-huh how long do you're married um 23 years and you're up you're buying your
first house yeah we had some health conditions and I um I just had a brain two more
2020 so that set us back a little bit wow how are you now we pay off I'm great um well I
I have a mess, so I'm disabled from that, so I can't work, but it's only his income, so I get really traded with finances.
I love that.
Okay, so you know this as well as I do, that stress is a multiplier of MS symptoms, right?
Yes.
What if you just saw for peace?
Yeah, exactly.
If you just took out one mortgage, made one payment, and then you spent the rest of your time focusing on things you love and have fun with.
Well, yeah, exactly.
We just want to have the house pay for by the time that we're row 60.
Done.
The shortest distance, is this still true, the shortest distance between two points
is a straight line?
I've heard there was somebody's, I need to go look in that.
I heard, because my track coach always told me that.
I know, but sometimes I feel like there is a shortcut.
In this case, let's pretend like that still holds, because I think it does.
Don't do all the loop-de-loop, okay?
You're really smart.
I can tell, like you said, you've got the background.
Use your powers for simplicity.
Use your powers for good.
or let me let me say this can i can i take this call way too deep way deeper than you're asking it to
yeah go for it i spent my career working with folks who um had special needs of some shape form or fashion
yeah and one of the biggest metas that i got from working with those people over time was a fear
that they were going to be a burden on other people or that i needed to contribute in some way on top
of my my my extra what i'm doing for that for my friend my family my community whatever
And so I don't want to paint a picture, but I don't want you sitting at home thinking I'm a net drain on this house.
But if I figure out some way to escalate our mortgage payments, then I've proven that I'm worth being here.
Right.
I want you to help simplify the chaos in the house and be an agent of peace in your home.
And your husband's the luckiest man who's ever walked the earth.
I love that.
Thank you.
Is that fair?
Yeah, he'll tell you that too
Well, I know he will
But you don't believe it
Unless you come up with a secret plan
To pay off the mortgage
You get like, you know what I mean?
Yeah, just take his word for it
You're pretty amazing
You're pretty amazing
And Jade, I've heard this
I've heard this song and dance
On the internet's like, all right, this is what you do
Yeah
I don't know, I'm not a dumb guy
I'm not the smartest guy in the world
But I think I can figure most stuff out
And usually I'm like, you lost me at step 17
I'm just gonna make a double payment
And go on with my day
Yeah. I mean, let's run this out for the folks who might be listening for the first time, John. So obviously we do like our countercultural take on mortgages is first off, if there's a world where you can just stack up some money and pay cash all day, baby, all day. Like that's we're going to cheer for you. Yeah, people are like, I'm going to take on a mortgage for tax savings. That's literally the dumbest.
Man, if you have the money or you live in, you know. I'm going to pay $100,000 of interest so I can get $10,000 in tax savings.
Yeah, don't do it. If you can get cash and there's somewhere in, I don't know, Kansas where you can still find a $200,000 house and you can pay it. Get it. Right? Then the next level is, hey, in a world where everybody's getting 30 year mortgages, we're always going to suggest a 15 year mortgage. And at the base of that is, well, you'll get a better interest rate. But the other base of it is you're going to pay it off 15 years sooner if you just pay the payment. Right. Everyone says, I'm going to get a 30 and I'll just pay it like it's a 15. You won't. There's always going to be something that pops up instead. And so we're like, hey,
set it for set the dial for like you can't screw this up so 15 years what we are going to suggest and
even if you never make an extra mortgage payment you're still paying it off 15 years earlier which is
giving you another 15 years that you can invest more to build wealth right for your legacy for
retirement you know to buy that restaurant you want about whatever that thing is so 15 years what
we're talking about now we're always saying hey this the the payoff of the mortgage lies in
baby step six. So it's after you've paid off your debt. It's after you've saved up an emergency
fund. You've been investing 15% of your income all the while. You've put a little bit aside for
your kids college. And now, after all that's kind of rolling, now we're saying, hey, you know,
maybe I have a little extra change. I can throw over to this mortgage. I make the payment and maybe
I pay another half payment or maybe twice a year I double the payment. Whatever that rhythm looks
like, it's just about you being intentional. You don't have to get intense about it.
But just being intentional about saying, I'm going to put extra money on my mortgage.
And there's some really crazy arithmetic out there that if you just make one extra payment
a year, like the quickness that.
It takes seven years off or something off a 30 year mortgage or something.
It doesn't take a whole lot in order to really shave that 15 years down.
And John, on this show, we find that if people follow the baby steps, no matter what point
you lock in, if you actually lock into the baby steps, most people have their mortgage
paid off and like 10 to 12 like it's like quicker than 15 yeah so by the way people always ask
hey is it okay if we get hyper intentional about we've had the mortgage for a while yeah if you got
two or three years left on it and you say we're gonna go to baby step alarm that's your choice and you
and your spouse lock arms go knock it out go do it done yeah and then on the flip side of that
if you're like and you're like hey you know I all my life I had to fight and I finally just got out of
debt and I'm not ready to put double payments on, that's also your prerogative and nobody's
going to be mad at you. The point is you started in the best possible spot, which is a 15-year
mortgage that was no more than 25% of your take-home pay. And I understand that that is a tall
order in today's world and today's day and time, but it's still possible.
All right. We're going to go back to the phone lines. But before we do, I didn't say who was hosting
today. It's me. It's me. John and it's me. John and Jade. So now you know, just in case you
were wondering, John, you're kind of like on the mental wellness tip for anybody who doesn't
know. You're everywhere so everybody knows. No, they don't. I believe that they do. And then I am
your money expert for today. So that's how this thing works. Two people, two chairs. All right,
let's go to Nicole in Denver, Colorado.
What's up, Nicole?
Hi, thanks for taking my call.
My husband and I just got married, and we both want to have children,
but now we have to adopt or preferably get a surrogate.
We have some debt, we have some savings,
and my husband is about to start a business.
So we really want to prioritize this because of our ages.
I'm factoring us in, like us needing some extended time to have kids,
and both of these options are expensive.
My question is, how do we fit a baby into the baby steps?
Oh, I love this question.
How old are you, by the way?
I'm 30. He's 34.
Okay. So if you were calling in and you were like, hey, we're thinking we're going to get pregnant the old-fashioned way, I would have just said, yeah, tomorrow, whenever you're ready, right?
I'm never going to tell somebody they have to, you know, wait until they're out of debt to have a baby.
I'm never going to say you have to have this financial echelon accomplished before you can start a family.
I would never tell you that. Now, it is your own personal choice. I can tell you, my husband and I,
we're like, ah, we're going to pay off our debt, then we're going to start a family. That was a personal
choice. I don't think anybody else has to make that choice. But in your case, it doesn't change my
answer, but there are some considerations because in your case, yeah, it's going to cost a pretty penny.
How much does it cost to do surrogacy in the 2025 world?
There's a huge range.
I was going to say 50 to 100 grand, huh?
More than double it, 90 to 200,000.
Agency fees, surrogacy compensation, medical expenses might mean multiple rounds of IVS.
And then for adoption, if you're working with an agency somewhere between 30 and 60,000,
so, I mean, the pragmatic answer is adopt instead of do a surrogate, but I just, I don't know how to even start saving up for this.
okay um what's your income we go what's your income right now i'm in school um i'm a student
for another six months i have a part-time job i earn about $2,500 a month my husband gets about
$7,000 a month okay good and a third of that is an untaxed disability for being a veteran so
helpful i i guess and jade pushed back on me here um adopted kids with the most amazing things by
the way that 30 to 50 of the private adoption there's tax rebates there's there's local support
sometimes there's business support so I would check into all of those different things the last
buddy of mine that did this I sat down with me at the end of the day they were out of pocket like
11,000 bucks oh wow yeah and you can oh that's good to know you can do but that was after tax breaks
and dude who knows what tax looks cuts and breaks look like now whether they're bigger or small
who knows but it's worth to find all that out and there was some upfront costs that he got
reimbursed for, etc. But that's just, that's just a one buddy of mine. So I'm a huge fan of it.
I think the challenge for me is if you get pregnant and had a kid and you had health insurance
or you didn't have health insurance, you're, there's a, there's not, I want to say fixed cost
because there's medical conditions, there's NICU, there's all kind of other things that can
happen. But inside of a bell curve, often, there's a $5,000 deductible or a $10,000 deductible.
or a, hey, we want to cash pay this thing,
and this is what it's going to cost.
When you get into $90,000 to $200,000,
that to me feels like we have to do some significant planning.
Because that is, I mean, that is a, that's a graduate degree
or that's a home in certain places, right?
That's a huge chunk of money.
And I would feel irresponsible to say,
yep, it doesn't matter.
You're starting a family.
Just go let it rip.
because that's a ton of debt to carry into on top of your student loans,
et cetera.
If we're doing, you know, highest cost scenario, if we do do surrogacy, just help me out.
How do I even start this process?
It might not be that expensive, but worst case.
It's a math problem, right?
Yeah, I mean, it's a math problem, and I'm going to make it super clear.
I would never recommend any kind of debt for this.
I mean, you know, you're going to do what you're going to do, but Jade didn't tell you to go into debt for a family because there's a risk of here, right?
There's no guarantee on any end of this spectrum.
And to John's point, when you get into numbers like 200,000, 100,000, that is insult on top of injury if this doesn't go the way that we want, right?
And sometimes in life things don't go the way we want, although I'm praying that it does for you.
So you see what I'm saying, right?
I just want you to, I don't have to explain the risk to you.
Well, and there's the other side of it is, again, I've got a close friend who had a really traumatic pregnancy.
And there was NICU stays and I see you stays.
And God knows what those bills are going to end up being.
And you deal with those as they come.
This is one where we're planning out the door.
We know this is going to be $100,000 or $150,000.
So real steps, let's pretend, hey, $50,000 is what we need.
That's kind of somewhere in the middle of the adoption realm there.
And so, yeah, I would treat it like, in many ways, I would treat it like the debt snowball, right?
You're paying minimum payments on all your normal debt, but all the extra is going to your smallest debt.
In this case, it's this adoption bill.
So after all your minimums are met, now we're using our margin to stack up $50,000 as quickly as possible.
And what I would do is I would say, okay, I'm starting up my every dollar budget.
I've got everything in here.
and I'm seeing here's the margin that we have every single month. So let's pretend it's
$3,000. I got $3,000 margin. That's going and I'm going to keep stacking that up until I hit
50K, right? Run those numbers out. See how long it's going to take. And at fitting point, you go,
hey, that's longer than I want. What can we do to make that go faster?
Income is the issue. So we say, okay, can we get extra jobs? Can somebody drive Uber? Can
somebody pick up extra shifts, that sort of thing? So in that way, you can kind of control it,
But at the same time, you'll probably hit a point where it's like, this is as fast as we can go.
And you just kind of have to ride that train until it's done.
I love it.
All right.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, really great call.
Thanks for the call.
That's, you know, John, that's, I actually got that call a couple of days ago.
And it's true.
You know, when Sam and I were in debt, we had almost half a million dollars of debt.
We were young, 23 years old.
And I remember thinking I'd rather wait.
and plus I wasn't sure if I wanted a family yet anyway.
So I was like, let's just wait.
He wanted to wait because it was just eating our lunch, literally.
There's chaos and anxious install in your house.
Yeah.
And so for us, there was, we had just made the decision and said,
hey, we're going to clean up this mess and then we'll feel great about, you know,
having a family plus, you know.
And again, this is, I'm not saying anybody else has to make this choice,
but I kind of had this clear picture of this is the life I want to be able to provide.
and so that was kind of like a guiding light for us.
I was like, I don't want to feel like I have to work.
I want to feel like I'm working because I want to work
if I'm not going to stay home with these kids.
Like I wanted as many options, not just for us, but for the kids too.
So that was our choice.
And yeah, I ended up having kids later in life.
That was a choice we made.
But I remember the years that my wife and I were trying to have kids
and it wasn't happening.
And then I sat down with somebody.
We went to the meeting about adoption and the private versus public
and all those things.
and I remember my my mind shifting to I'm owed this I deserve this
and it gave it was giving me a pass I'm just going to go borrow on whatever this cost
because I want a family and it was this I like I remember thinking do I want to add
because this is when I still owed a trillion dollars do I want to add that burden to a guy
that's already pretty spun out because of all this money I'm carrying or that I owe people
Right, right.
And I remember very much feeling, though, that, like, math doesn't apply to me here.
Mm-hmm.
This hurts, and I want to have a family, and I want to be able to, like, give a kid a family.
Like, all of that stuff was so good and right, and yet, math doesn't care.
It's still, it's going to be, you're going to have $200,000 mortgage on an adoption, right?
Or on a surrogacy or whatever.
And so there is something about, I would never tell somebody don't have kids if you owe money,
right?
Sure.
Never.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But if you're going to go make a $30, $40, $50,000, you can put that much one
in the table, I want you holding that check because otherwise you are setting yourself up for all
kind of additional chaos in addition to having the kid and all the heartbreak and joy and all
that comes with that.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
All right, you're listening to The Ramsey Show.
Hey, don't just set goals in 20206.
I want you to actually learn how to reach them for once in your life.
And we're going to help you do that.
The 26 Ramsey Goal Planner is here, guys, and it's packed with monthly content from myself, from
Rachel Cruz, from Dr. John Deloney sitting right next to me.
And it's all there to help you stay on track with your money, with your faith, with your
relationships, all of it.
And finally, for the first time, you can actually follow through on your goals.
It's so helpful.
now I'm going to tell you the real deal
every single year we sell out of these all right
I thought they're already gone
there can't be that many left
there can't be so the point
this is not a sales pitch
this is like them sending being like hey we have like almost
like they cut off product benefit
nobody in the building can buy them yeah we can't even buy them
there's only a few left and it's just for
just for our fans
the only way I'll get one is if one of you send me yours
because I didn't even get one but
the point is
they might be already gone so if you
you were thinking of getting one, go on there now and make sure you can get one.
They're $49.97 at ramsysolutions.com slash store, or if you're watching on YouTube or the
podcast, you can just click the link in the description. Now I'm going to tell you straight up.
I was making a joke before. I always get a couple of these, and I send them as gifts. It's on
my gift list every year to send to other people, and everybody loves it because it's so helpful.
And so, yeah, get involved. All right. Next, we have Sue from Chicago, Illinois, Shy Town.
What's up? What's going on, Sue?
Hi, thank you guys so much for taking my call.
I'm blessed to be able to speak to guys and to listen to you guys every single day.
Thank you so much.
What's up?
I'm stuck.
I'm 54 years old and married with a child.
And I just found out that my husband no longer has savings, no longer has the college account for our child.
because he's gambling and there's more infidelity I just found out about.
So there's that.
I just started a job, thank goodness, because I kind of, I had a feeling like something was up.
And my job will be able to pay in the future for the success that I want with our family,
but I'm kind of at a T-section.
The big question here is, do you want to stay in this marriage?
No, and I hate saying that.
We had an issue before where things were questionable, and he said he wanted to reconcile,
and this was years ago, and I had a huge cancer scare.
I'm cancer-free, it's great, it's wonderful.
He did it really well since then.
I don't feel for my, for my peace and my daughter's peace moving on in her life,
that it's safe to stay in this marriage.
So I think answering, well, there's two things.
One is you are right to be fearful about if there's sexual infidelity.
You're right to be worried about the betrayal, worried about your health,
worried about like the values of your marriage being swiped out from underneath you, right?
the financial infidelity you waking up one day and realizing y'all have no safety net that's a real
harrowing fear also and so whether you choose to stay in this marriage and heal it or um and and you all
have to rebuild this thing from the ground up because it doesn't exist anymore as it was um you still
have to take the steps to go open your checking account and deposit money in your account and
begin to have some sort of financial safety because this person
is very unsafe and very reckless.
Yeah, I did that with my new job.
Good, good.
Yeah, so, but that now has been paying for groceries.
Right.
And school fees, and I don't, I, I, I, pennies, pennies putting it aside,
could possibly, you know, eventually get down payment for that, hold on, hold on, hold on.
You're doing a very natural thing, but I want to slow you down.
You're solving for seven steps down the road.
I need you to solve for step one.
I need you to solve for step one, which is I need to get me and my daughter into a safe place.
Yeah.
Exhale.
Next step.
Okay.
I want us to make sure we have the apartment that we've moved into or that he's moved into.
Can we afford this house and we have to sell it?
Do I have an attorney's fees?
We rent.
We rent.
We don't even have a house.
Okay.
So am I on that lease?
So if I go get an apartment, a one-bedroom apartment from me and my daughter for the next 18 months because that's what I can afford right now.
am I on that lease and is he going to quit paying and then it's going to blow up my work right so it's
getting those very basic things four walls do I have a place to live do I got food do I have utilities
have water and heat and do I have transportation to get to and from my job okay that's what we're
solving for right now you'll solve for what's my retirement going to be what's a pension where
all of that is a problem for future you okay okay and anxiety is taking future stuff
and dragging it into the present and trying to solve it in the present, don't do that.
You've got enough trouble right now.
As you experience and as the Bible says, you've got enough trouble today, let's deal with today.
If you are done with this marriage, I want you to push pause and call an attorney.
Okay.
And they will guide you, they'll have, not thousands, but a list of questions, thoughts, ideas,
and they will walk you through step by step, and you won't feel so alone.
If you want to try to save this marriage and reconcile, you've got to call a therapist today, a licensed therapist who will walk with you.
It's just too much.
Your whole world exploded, right?
Yeah, it did.
It really did.
And I'm more worried about my daughter.
Yep.
How old is your daughter?
She's a junior in high school.
Yeah.
But she's now been, unfortunately, it's blown up in her face, and she's very aware.
everything that has happened.
Let me tell you the greatest gift you can give her.
Take her out to a diner.
In fact, tell her we're skipping school this morning.
Take her out to a diner so she'll know it's a special moment.
And I want you to look her in the eye and say,
I'm not going to talk bad about your dad.
I'm not going to run him down.
You're not going to talk crap.
You're not going to swear about him because that's her dad too.
And she knows in her body half of her is him.
So if he sucks, then half of her, right?
But I'm going to tell you the truth.
I'm going to tell you I'm scared.
Yeah.
I'm heartbroken.
And I, your mom, and working to keep you and me safe.
And so you're going to give her this gift.
You're going to A, give her the gift that she's not crazy because a lot of parents try
to just say, I want the kids to know.
I don't want them to, I want to hide my tears.
I want to hide everything.
And what it does is it makes your kids feel nuts because their insides are melting.
So it's important for her to see, oh, mom's a person too.
If she said, I kept permission to be sad.
Yeah, I've never hidden anything for her, even when I got the cancer.
Good, good, good.
I've retained pink polka dots on my head when it was growing back because that's what she said.
What would happen when my hair grew back?
And the next plan, the next important thing for her is to know, my mom has a plan.
I have a job.
I have my own checking account.
I'm going to, we're going to, your college plans may have completely changed,
but I'm going to be right next to you walking with you, right?
And it's letting her know you're not on your own.
and her job isn't to take care of you, okay?
Okay, 100%.
That will be a blessing to her for you to say, I'm hurting, and here's my plan.
Thank you.
Okay.
I would also recommend this, and this is, like, I don't feel like I want you to give you
another thing to worry about.
I want you to go pull your credit report from all three credit bureaus today.
Yes.
And I want you to freeze your credit.
Well, it is.
Okay.
Good, good, good, good.
I did that as soon as I found out.
That was very smart.
Excellent.
What's your husband doing right now?
Is he running, hiding?
Is he saying here?
How did you find out?
I just, well, I started, I got the Ramsey become a millionaire.
I just started going, hey, can we go over the bills because I want to put all this together and make a budget?
I want to make a plan.
And he started listing off these bills.
I'm like, well, what does this?
What does?
He goes, oh, it's a loan.
It's a loan.
It's a loan for what?
It's a loan for what?
And he goes, well, I have a lifestyle to keep up with.
And I'm like, I don't understand.
Like, he should be getting, he's retired and he has now a part-time job because, you know.
And it just exploded.
Hey, it just exploded.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for trust us with a call.
Stay on the line.
We're going to hook you up with every dollar.
It's the best budgeting app in the world.
We're also going to hook you up with Financial Peace University.
So you and your daughter, if you want, you'll watch these lessons together.
and I want you to begin using this app for you, make a budget for you so you know where
every dollar is going because right now every dollar is precious.
And if it's time to call an attorney, go call one.
If it's time to call a therapist, go call one.
All right.
Our question of the day is sponsored by YREFI.
If other lenders won't help with defaulted private student loans, then Y-R-R-R-R-E-F-Y might be right for you.
They offer fixed-rate solutions that fit real life.
Find out more at Y-R-R-R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey.
That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey.
Remember, it's not available in all states.
All right, this question is a good one.
I'm not to process this out loud.
All right, read it.
And it's funny because I've been wrestling with something about this.
Oh, really?
Okay, I'm excited then.
Today's question comes from Gabriel from California.
Gabriel writes,
I need advice on whether to take on commission work for a very popular video game.
I would get paid to make 3D digital models for game servers
who have the aesthetic that I'm trained in.
I developed these skills over the past two years.
However, here's my dilemma.
I stopped playing video games several months ago
due to a conviction to stop playing them and just grow up.
I've been benefiting from the time away from them
to connect with friends, read my Bible and attend
church activities. I've actually
lost a desire to play video games
but I could make a ton
of money with this side hustle.
Should I take the opportunity or walk away
because I'm afraid I'll be pulled back
into that world?
So here's where this question is with me.
I watch
social media
like melting
us culturally.
And yet
every day I post on it twice a day right you're in my brain right now I live in it and so I've had this
weird tension with it and the piece I've come to is if it's a cesspool if if if it's
constantly sending people negative negativity things a way to divide people up and whatever I will I can
tell myself I'm going to be someone who puts good out into that world yeah and so that's that's
where I've landed right now, but I do wrestle with it, right? If they came in and said, hey,
social media is over, it doesn't exist anymore, that part of our business is over, we're going to
do something else, I would exhale. It would cost me a lot, right? Understood, yeah. But I would
exhale. And so there's a tension there. So this is a little bit different because he's not making his,
he's not able to put positivity out into a negative environment. He's going to literally be
participating in it, right? So part of me, I don't,
know. What do you think? I think we can look at this from two arguments. I don't think he's
created like a good versus bad argument. Like video games are bad, therefore I'm not playing them
anymore. He's like, I found relief being out of that world. Yeah. I think he found it more of
there's better things I could be doing with my time. This is kind of a drain on me, so I'm not
going to do it. So for him, I think it was like productive versus not productive, not necessarily
good versus bad. Like if he had said, hey. Oh, I think they're evil. It's like, quit.
Right. I got out of video games because the chat's crazy and it's not good for kids and people, it's dangerous and sex trade, all these things. Like, if he had said that argument, I would have been like, dude, it's a moral thing for you. You have to walk away. But since it's more of a personal productivity thing, I would say, I would hold it more loosely, but at the end of the day, I would still say anything that feels like a violation of personal integrity for you, you do have to walk away from. However, I would say this doesn't really feel like a personal integrity thing.
it feels more like you're getting older
and you're like, I can't spend time on video games
so I'm not gonna.
And he's got his lived experience
where he spent too much time for too many years on them.
But also, and I've, I've been a,
I mean, I've run my mouth about video games for a long time,
but I've got buddies who play with their kids.
I got buddies who play with kids in college
and it keeps them connected and they have fun
and they talk trash and those little things.
So it's fun for them.
But then they set it down
and they go back to their regular lives, right?
And so, yeah, it comes down to a personal conviction
at the end of the day.
It almost feels like,
I don't know if this is a good analogy either.
Somebody who has struggled with alcohol
gets an amazing opportunity
to make a bunch of money
to be in a bartender.
That's a bad idea.
It could be, right?
But if someone says,
dude, I don't have any,
for six months, it could pay off everything.
Yeah, I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't go back in the bar.
Well, no, because he struggled with it.
It was an addiction.
I don't think that's a good analogy
because one's like an addiction.
But he's saying,
I don't want to be pulled back into that world
I think that I don't know much about making video games
so I think it has more to do I think
and correct me if I'm wrong because I'm not a gamer
I think it has more to do with him than the outsider
because I don't know if you're making
if you're making models for this
if you actually have to like be in the game and kind of like play the game
and talk about the game yeah so if he has to be in that world
in order to create for it I think that's where
more where his struggle is versus
I don't want other people playing these games
I don't want other people
because it's a moral conviction
I would tell Gabriel if he was sitting here
and thanks to everybody
letting us think that out loud
I would tell Gabriel
no amount of money
is worth your personal peace
and your personal integrity
and so if this is a matter of
I feel like this is an integrity issue for me
but I could make some good money in the short term
I'd say walk away
there's other ways you can make money
and the other side of it is
if you have just found peace
like man I love doing other things
of my time and good on anyone
who wants to play games it's not for me anymore
and you can go back into that world
and make some quick money over six months
knock your lights out right?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm with you on that.
It's, yeah, I was just reading back over the question.
I'm with you.
If you feel like it's pulling you back,
don't do it.
There's other ways to make money
and there's always going to be
temptations.
And we get this call from folks
who listen
of the Ramsey show, they buy into the message, they live it their own life, but they sell
whole life insurance policy. Or they work at a, at one of the big, the giant banks who
take advantage of people. So, and they are faced with this moral dilemma. But again, I think that's
more of like the good versus bad argument. Because we're saying, um, hey, debt, it is truly like out
to get you. Like it truly is out there to try to scam you, try to trap you, all those things. This
didn't feel like he didn't mention anything now don't give me wrong i have my own views of video games i
don't want to project that onto him but if you're a person who if if gabriel if you're listening to
this if you do feel like hey i just think video games inherently they're trying to track people
the the algorithm is there to keep you stuck keep you locked in i just don't agree with that like
if you do have a moral stake in it i 100% wouldn't do it yeah because then you're compromising your
own personal integrity.
Man, that's a good question.
It is a good question.
And I challenge everybody in their life if your day job at some level conflicts with what
you know to be true or what you feel is to be right or true, it's easy to bomb the job.
But there's something about taking personal ownership and saying, I can't be a part of
this anymore.
Or I'm going to, the building's not on fire.
I'm being asked to steal money, but I'm going to.
to start looking for a way to transition out of this job and something else. I'm going to turn down
this opportunity. And both of us have gotten opportunities to go speak at a place. I'm just like,
you know, I'm going to sit this one out. Like everyone has to make those kind of choices.
Right. But the fact, Gabriel, that you're even asking this question is pretty noble. Good for you.
I think so. Because I think it's so easy to just run for the money. Yeah. No what you're, yes.
You have to have your personal moral compass and that sometimes can look different from other people.
It's kind of like going back to the drinking thing that you said.
some people go to a party they're like hey alcohol is just not for me i don't like who i am when i have a
drink right and then the other person could sit right next to you and there's no moral dilemma
they're not going to act a fool they're just going to have one or two drinks go about their business and it's
fine right so different things affect different people in different ways if i drink i don't feel good
the next day right sure i think this is wrong i think nobody should be doing this right
but whatever you bring to it live it out everywhere live it out everywhere and that's that's the
good word oh good i like that one that was a good one that was a good one
all right since we just took a question that was verbal me reading it somebody right wrote it in
let's do another one from social all the questions are verbal I know I know that was a hard that was
not the right way to say it okay um let's do this one this is Sue from TikTok she says why does
canceling a rarely used card affect someone's credit rating okay so we tell John we tell people John
it's time for you to not only pay off your debt,
but you need to cancel it. You need to close the account and
be done with it, not just paid off. And so she's saying, yeah, if you cancel
this card, your credit score initially is going to go down. That's true.
And that's okay. It's one of the factors that they use to measure your credit score, right?
It's how many lines of credit do you have open? How many, how long have you had it open?
What percentage of it are you using? All of that affects your credit score.
And so when you do something that affects one of those
you know, ticks in the algorithm, yeah, it's going to ding you. But in the long run, if you just
close them all and pay them all off, your score is going to roll to zero and you're going to be a
person who has a zero credit score. And that's ultimately what we want. Stick around. There's more
of the Ramsey Show coming up.
Hey, welcome back to the Ramsey Show. We're here in the Fair One's Credit Union studio taking calls
about your life and your money, like we always do at this time.
We got Tom in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
What's going on, Tom?
Hi, John and Jade.
Thanks for taking my call.
I got a question around term life insurance.
I'm 65, and over the years when we had four children,
over the years we would buy life insurance,
but term life insurance, and then it would, you know,
at one time I'd probably have a million dollars.
I'm down to one last policy.
you have $250,000.
Okay.
They have seven years left, and the annual payment's only $7, I think, $11 a year.
Okay.
And this is questioning whether or not I should keep it, because I really don't need it,
and it's just my wife and I today.
So.
I mean, yeah, you're right.
The point is that we get to the point where we can kind of self-insure where that
nest egg is big enough to where if something happened to you, your wife would be okay,
and it sounds like you have that.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, no debt and, you know, multiple millions of dollars put away,
probably a $7 or $8 million.
Oh, you're saying that the policy runs out in seven years?
It does.
In 32, it's done it, but it's only $7 a year.
Like, it's $250,000 dollars out, $250,000 and I got changed our life.
No.
No, but neither is $70 a month, either, or $7.00 a year.
Right, right.
There's no right or wrong answer on this.
If you want to keep it, you can keep it.
Because, like you said, the $711 a year is.
not changing your life. The $250,000 is not saving your life. I would ask your wife, how does she feel
about it? Hey, do you want this extra $250,000 coverage? Does it give you any extra level of
peace? For me, I could maybe let it go and just have that conversation. I'm, if it were me,
I'd probably be like, just keep it around, let it play out. But like I said, there's no right or
wrong. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So that's it. I just, I know she'd say, you know,
she's always had her trust in my management and obviously see off and she can't believe
we're in a place that we're in today. So she just say, hey, I don't really care.
Yeah, well, dude, let me be the first to tell you today. Well done, brother. That's awesome.
Really good. Like the thought that you can pass away tomorrow and your wife's going to be okay,
that to me is the greatest, I don't know, just as a husband, that's the greatest feeling
I could have that if I cashed out tomorrow, my wife and my kids would be okay. That gives me a lot
of peace. Hey, do me a favor. Call our friends at Zander.
What I know about those dudes is they will tell you the truth and they won't take money from you
that they won't try to bilk you for money. They'll be honest with you. And they'd be a great
person to run this policy by and just cash, just run through the numbers for you. And whether it
would save you if you just quit paying on it, if you can't, like they're going to answer all
those specific insurance questions. So call them. They've, they've, they've, the ones who did my life
insurance policy. Yeah, me too. Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about life insurance for new,
new listeners who are like, what the heck are they talking about? So here, we're always going to
suggest term life insurance. That's what I carry. That's what John carries. And you can get it on a,
you know, a 15-year level term, a 20-year level term. And basically, the term is just what it says.
You are covered during that term of years. And the level term means the price is not changing.
But the point of life insurance is for anybody who depends on your income. So for instance,
I work in my home and my husband works. But if I were to pass away,
that's a big chunk of income that's gone.
And so my family has a dependency on that, right?
And same thing with Sam.
If Sam were to pass away, we have a dependency on his income.
So we suggest you get 10 to 12 times your income,
which a lot of people think, oh my gosh, that's a lot of money.
Like that could be in the millions.
That's a lot of money.
And it is, but it's about survivorship.
It's about the people who are, like I said,
dependent on your income long term.
They don't just need, you know, 30,000 bucks.
They need to be able to continue living until their life situation,
changes or maybe you're a stay-at-home mom, right? And you've been staying at home. If you're
the spouse in that situation, you want to make sure the mom can continue to stay home. So you need
a nice nest egg there. That's what it's there for. I won't get into the whole life thing.
I feel like that's a different call, a different time for a different day. But I do want to say,
term life insurance is a way that you love your family well. Now, I know, I hear it now, John. People
are like, oh, I have insurance through my job. No, you get $10,000, too. Do you have barely enough
to cover the cost of a cough in these days.
That's right. That's it. If that anymore.
That's right. That could barely cover your funeral and that's it. So you need more.
And trust me, it's not expensive. Like this guy said, he's paying $711 a year. That's nothing.
Like Dave would say, that's a biscuit. Yeah. Yeah. So get it done. It's so easy. They'll come to your house and do the medical, you know, they'll draw your blood at your house. It's easy. And then they'll set your term and you'll be set. So that's how this works.
If you're wondering this too, my wife,
as a part-time job.
But the vast majority of the income is mine.
I have a policy on her.
It's not near as big as mine.
Three to four times.
But if she was to pass away tomorrow,
if you've listened to this show for five minutes,
you know that my life would be in shambles, right?
I would have to hire some support and help.
That's right.
There would be plane tickets.
There would be parents coming and going.
There would be, I need help with,
my whole life would fall apart.
So I'd need to hire folks to come back.
fill that, and that money would add up and add up, especially when I'm in a season of grief,
and my income would drop because I'm on commission, right? So all that say is, I got a policy
on her. It's not, again, not near the size of mine is, but I do have one out on her because there's
going to be real cost associated to me trying to figure out how to manage my life and my kid's life
with her going on. That's such a good point. Yeah. When you have a stay-at-home spouse or a spouse
that maybe works part-time or whatever the case, there's still a huge monetary value on what it
takes to, if you're the home CEO, right? So you're doing all the shopping and you're planning all
the meals and you're taking the kids to school and you're picking the kids up. Well, who would
do that if that person left? Do you have to hire a nanny? Would you have to have a babysitter
there at the house, you know, six hours a day? That is all cost. So please, please,
term life insurance is what we're looking for. And what we were talking about earlier with Tom is
the idea is that you don't have to pay a premium forever. So he's got millions of dollars.
That's right. He's now insured. His wife's insured.
And that means that whatever pops up, he's got the money that he can carry that risk now.
The point of insurance is to transfer risk when we can't afford it, right?
And so when you're walking through the baby steps, you can't carry that risk.
So let the insurance company carry it.
But the hope is that you get to a point, you keep walking through the baby steps where you've got a couple of million dollars stacked up or whatever your nest egg is stacked up to where when you hit a certain point, hey, if somebody passes away, there's enough money on that nest egg that they can draw from.
they can cut or you know if something happens my medical expenses will be covered as well like all
that stuff is there so that's how this works it's just a really good thing to think about from time to
time we get calls all the time john of and it's sad when someone passes away there was no life
insurance no will and everything is just in the tailspin i've i've mentioned this several times
over the years on the show but a couple of times i've i was doing crisis work i responded to calls
where a husband had passed away
and there's a there's just
I don't know how to describe it other than there's a very
particular look
when a spouse just lost
her husband and she looks
and I remember one person in particular said
I have to go to work on Monday we don't have
anything and it was the most
harrowing
it's like what do you meet like they don't have any money
we don't have any insurance we have nothing
you got to figure out and I got to figure
I got to go I have to get a job now on Monday
we don't have no kid I mean it was just
say things.
A harrowing conversation.
And then the other, I remember one other person in particular said, I don't, I don't
know what to do.
I don't know what anything is.
I don't know if there's a will, where it is, the accounts.
I don't know if you have life insurance policy.
It was just a zoo.
And I remember being like, man, like me and my wife, that's a big deal for us is where's
the forms, where's the passwords, where's everything?
Because it's not a matter if, it's a matter when.
Yes.
And I want that to be the last thing she worries about is what do we have.
heaven where term life insurance a will making sure your spouse knows where all the documents are
you know last last segment we were just talking about the importance of term life insurance
we're saying wills making sure your family knows where all the important documents are and we
actually have an online wills quiz because you might have been listening to that saying hey
Jade, I don't know, do I, I'm 18, do I need a will or I'm 21 and single? Do I need a will?
Or, you know, I've been married 50 years. My wife already knows what we're doing. Do I need a will?
You need to take the wills quiz is what I'm telling you. Okay. So here are the top questions people have about online wills.
Let's talk about it. Number one, they ask, how do I know if I need a trust or if my estate is too complicated for an online will?
Okay, so that's a great question. So the answer there is, if your estate is worth less.
less than one million, then getting a will online is probably a really great option for you.
So if you're worth less than a million, yeah, probably online will is good.
Next one is number two.
Jade, what do I need to start my will online?
All right.
Making a will online or not involves a couple of big decisions.
Number one, you need to know, like, who's going to get my stuff?
You need to know who do you want to take care of your minor children if you have children
because that's going to be all part of the will.
and you need to decide who do you want to make decisions if you are in some way incapacitated.
Now I'm going to tell you right now, John, when Sam and I made our will, you kind of have to make an event out of this because it's not the most fun conversations to have.
And the truth is, after a long day of work, to come home and talk about what will happen if you're incapacitated.
It's not necessarily fun.
But hey, pizza and wine helps a lot of things.
I remember I gave my wife like this big, long, like here's how I want my funeral to go.
And she was like, hey, I'm not doing chores for you.
Your funeral will be as I plan it.
But I wrote it down and it's in the wheel.
And she's like, I don't, I just sue me.
Come get me then because I don't care.
But you do.
You need to sit down and you need to decide these things.
And it's okay if it takes more than one evening or if you get kind of like mentally
exhausted and have to come back to it later, just as long as you come back to it later.
Now, number three is an online will legally valid?
Great question.
Yes.
An online will is legally valid, but not just any online will you find on the internet is going to legally validate your state. Okay. You want to make sure your online will needs to be made to match the laws of your state, the state that you live in. Okay. So that's the important part. Number four, why would I want an online will versus a traditional one made with a lawyer? Very good question. The truth is, yeah, they're just less expensive and they're more convenient and they take less time to set up. So you could just
pop online, do your thug-thizzle, and move on versus trying to set up something with an attorney.
So if you have more questions, you can go to ramsysolutions.com slash will's quiz to find out if an online will is right for you.
All right, enough of that business.
Let's go to Sarah, who's in Georgia.
Sarah, how can we help today?
Hey, dear.
Thanks for taking my call.
I have a question about whether or not I should take out a home loan or a helock.
I bought my grandmother's house two and a half years ago, and when I bought it, I knew it would
need to be renovated, like down to the studs.
So that's probably going to cost about $250,000.
Gosh.
Yeah, it's going to be expensive.
I'm in a pretty good financial situation, and I've saved up $75,000 toward that.
And so I've got savings.
I've got an emergency fund, I've got retirement, all of that squared away.
But do I take out Helock or a loan, go ahead and rent out the house,
and then after it's done, it will be income producing because I can rent out the basement
and bring in about $2,000 a month?
Or do I wait and continue to save for the next probably four or five years
until I have enough to just pay cash for all the renovations.
See, here's what I think about in these situations,
and I'm going to just play this back to you,
and John cut in.
So when I hear somebody run out the two sides of, like, what I could do,
on the one side, when they're talking about the debt,
they're like, I could just get a heat lock,
I could get it all done,
I could have this income-producing property,
I could, you know, and there's all these positive, positive things.
But then when they talk about the cash,
way. It's like, well, I could wait five years. And then I would just, but they're not listing all the pros on that side. So Sarah, we want to remind you of all the pros of paying cash because there are pros. And yeah, it could take longer. But the truth is we didn't mention there would be no risk on your home, which was your grandmother's home, which is clearly a source of great pride and joy for you because you bought it. So we would eliminate the risk from that. We would allow you to sleep better at night. We would. We would.
ensure that an asset that's been in your family remains in your family like there's a lot of
pros on there that you didn't list that are benefits to doing this thing in cash how do you
where'd you come up with the 200 number um so i've gotten some estimates from contractor a general
contractor and everything that needs to be done and it is more expensive because essentially the
basement would it'll be two full kitchens one for my living space one for other living space
Yeah, and that was actually my question.
Is there a path where you phase this in
where you completely gut and renovate your kitchen
with your $75,000 and you have an amazing, beautiful living space
and then you exhale for a year or two?
And then you make a choice down the road.
Do I want to go through and completely gut and do this?
Because here's what I promise will happen.
If you have a HELOC and what you're going to do
is you're going to say, I want a $200,000 helock against my
against my home they're going to say well there's always an overage or whatever i'm just going to give
you 275 and whatever you don't use that's fine i promise it will balloon up because they'll be like
well what about these fixtures we can get these are nice and it just gets out of control on you if you
have 75 grand you say this is all i have um it just changes how you spend your money but is there a way
you can phase it in yeah why does it have to be an income property why can't it just be a
or an income property later when i have the money to make it an income property later when i have the money to make
property but can you get this awesome kitchen i'm trying to think of a new of a third way or a
fourth way or a fifth way other than i've got to borrow a couple hundred thousand dollars
against an old property which by the way i think that's probably when they get in the walls
they're going to find all kind of wild stuff um and they get into the basement they're going to find
all kind of structural like that's just what happens on those old homes or i can't do anything
for five years and it's got to sit here is there a middle ground there well so it needs um
some new electrical and some plumbing updates.
And so the thought was in the long run,
it would save money by just doing all that at once
versus going in and doing plumbing in one area
or fixing electrical in one area
or just doing the upstairs and fixing that
and then doing the downstairs.
How much would it actually save?
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's the exact number.
I would want to get that, that, because I think that's one of those things that we just think,
hey, if we just do this all at once, it'll be cheaper.
Well, that's a luxury, let's be honest, that's a luxury for when you have money.
So let's break this down to a smaller, we're talking about a big house there.
Let's break it down to a smaller denominator that we can talk about it and it'll make more sense.
If you had a flat tire and you didn't have any money and you're like, oh, man, I have a flat tire.
I'm going to go buy a tire.
And they said, well, you should get all four.
you'll get a better deal.
You'd say, well, I can't afford all four.
I've got enough for one tire,
I'm just going to get the new tire that I need.
And suddenly it makes a lot of sense
because it's like, why would I, why would I buy four tires
I can't afford?
I don't even really need the four tire,
the third, you know, the other three.
I just need the one.
And so when we put it like that,
it's the same thing with this house.
You can't afford,
it doesn't matter if it's a better deal
to do it all at once.
You can't afford it.
And Sarah, here's the other side.
This show wouldn't exist if people didn't take out
a four-year helock on their house for a couple hundred grand and they immediately get into a
construction project and then they get sick their in-laws get sick like or COVID shuts everything like
this show wouldn't exist if everybody's plans always worked and so we have the misfortune and the
blessing of our whole job consists of people who had this great plan it's just going to be 36 months
It's just going to be four years, and something blows up.
And that's why, man, if you don't owe anybody money and you put $75 grand on the table,
you get a brand new kitchen, they do the wiring, and they do just the plumbing in that area.
And then something happens, you can take two years off, and you don't have this looming,
hey, they're going to take our house from us because we put it on the block.
It's just a way to take risk off the table.
And I want to do $250,000 of work on my house.
I do too, actually.
And I still got to wait.
And do it little by little.
Okay, so.
All right.
Welcome back to the show.
We've got Brian, who's in Phoenix, Arizona.
Hey, Brian.
Hey, Jane.
Hey, John.
Thanks for taking my call.
Yeah, you bet.
So I'm in my late 20s.
I'm on baby steps four and six.
And I have around $40,000.
that I want to spend on a car.
I'm wondering if it makes financial difference,
whether I choose a new or use car for the same amount.
Interesting.
Yeah.
How much you make?
Around 200,000.
Oh, so you got some cash.
What do you do for a living, dude?
I'm actually, funny enough.
I'm in sales, financial advice, things like that.
Well played, man.
Excellent.
So you, how old are you?
28.
28.
And you've got a great income killing.
What's your, I mean, what do you have in retirement? What's your nest egg?
So total nest egg is around 830,000. Okay.
$310,000 is in retirement. I've got 357 in taxable assets.
Okay.
30,000 cash, 13,000 HSA, and 120,000 on the home that I purchased last year.
Okay, so you're a millionaire?
No, it's 830 total.
Oh, okay. I thought you were saying 830 was in your retirement.
so you're saying the total amount the total amount is 830 okay correct uh so i do think that in this
case if you want to spend the 40,000 it's no big deal i would spend it on a used vehicle though
i would tell me tell me why you don't want to oh now the 26 rap four is looking pretty nice
okay so if i told you you could get a 25 rev four and somebody turned the key in it and backed it off
the lot and drove it right back on and burned 10 grand of that because that's the difference the
moment you buy sign your name on a brand new car you drive it off the lot it's worth it's worth
last year's car and that's why we tell folks that wait and a million dollar net worth is is arbitrary
like Dave just picked that number but it's it's basically can you walk into your house and set
$10,000 on fire in the living room and that's going to be and you're okay with that you've got
a million bucks it's such a time it would be dumb and you know nobody would want you to do that but
it wouldn't change your life and so that's that's the difference and i love rap fours my wife drives a
highlander i love them in fact she asked me the other day if i could trade that in for a high
for an older one right i totally love that car it's just what's what is driving off the lot
and immediately losing that equity worth to you got it and i guess
Would it make sense if I were to wait another year or two and buy used if I really wanted, sorry, buy new, if I was able to bring it up to a million?
I did that exact thing recently. Like literally that exact thing. Yeah, the million is a, to John's point, it's a rule of thumb. It's something that we kind of feel like, hey, this is the point where, to John's point, you don't care about, you can take the loss, you can take the hit. You're very, very close. I mean, bro, you're so far ahead of all of humanity. You're doing great, man. You're doing great.
I'm going to advise you to do a used car.
If you did a new one, lightning wouldn't strike you.
Worse things could happen in your life.
But we're just telling you the rule of them that we think is kind of that safe point where
you can really feel good about it.
Like you can feel good about driving off the lot brand new.
And it's like, hey, if you were a rule follower, it's like, I followed the rules.
And I did this.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, it's that kind of thing.
Do I think it would break you?
No.
It wouldn't break you at all.
You wouldn't feel it at all.
You wouldn't feel it.
So take that very.
contrasting advice.
But you put it out there, so let me ask you, what is waiting six months?
Like, what's burning a hole in your pocket right now?
Right.
My car is getting to the point.
I drive a used car.
It's the first car I had.
It's not the point where it's a lot more maintenance, a lot more money is going into it.
Sure.
I think it's ready to buy something newer.
Yeah.
I mean, like, say, like, dude, you're doing so well.
And if you think it's going to, like, the, the,
intellectual exercise or the discipline of I'm going to put on the calendar four months I'm just
going to I'm going to make myself wait four months and then I'm going to go buy this car
then if you think you need that and that'd be good for you long term because you work in sales
right so some years are going to be up some years aren't that's the that's the lifestyle so
I'm having I'm in a good season right now I'm in a season of blessing that's awesome I'm going
to practice just holding off just because I can't that's a good it's like somebody's
sitting a coal plunge like I just I'm going to do this because it makes me tougher right
Right. And I think that would be an awesome exercise. But also if you went out today, you're not, again, you're not going to be destitute tomorrow. You're going to be fine. But you are going to have just said, hey, like Toyota dealership, I want to give y'all 10 grand of my hard earned money. Really for no reason other than I wanted this right this second. Because here's the truth. The truth is if you said, hey, Jade, there's a used car I want to buy. That's $50,000. I would have said, yeah, go do it. Because somebody else has already burned the depreciation for you.
But my point is the amount is not any risk to you.
It fits your income.
It fits your net worth.
And so that's kind of the way I'm reverse engineering it in my mind.
But, you know, if you want to hit that rule of thumb, that's also great.
Here's another game to play.
What's your mortgage every month?
Like a $3,000.
A $3,000?
Correct.
Okay.
So just ask yourself,
Is this car today worth three months of house payments?
Yeah.
And if that's a good math, if that's a good trade for you, then cool.
Yeah, cars are an interesting thing because if you're a car person, you're like, I'm in on it all day.
But then if you're like me, who's not much of a car person, the question that John just asked, I'd be like, no, it's not worth three months more.
You know, I'm that person because I like nice things.
but for whatever reason, cars just don't, they just don't do it for me as like, I'm willing to spend this money today.
Like, I just.
And again, I want to run back what Jay just said.
Our rule of thumb here is once you're out of debt, don't own anything of vehicles with wheels on at toys that are worth more than half of your annual take home income.
You make two hundred grand.
So technically following that line, if you came and said, I want to buy $99,000, we'd say knock your life down.
If you got cash for it.
it's not about the dollar amount you're spending the 40 grand is is nothing for you it's simply
about do you want to for the for the one year having it now do you want to burn 10,000 bucks or
seven thousand I don't know what how much a raford depreciates in one year I have no idea
but do you want to burn that now or do you want to go by a 2025 or if the model changed
and everything upgraded or whatever do you want to wait in a couple more months till
December and they're going to start liquidating those cars at a lower price, then you can pick
one up there, which is what I did last year with the truck. So you do whatever you want, man,
and you're well within the rule of thumb. You're there. Yeah, this is not going to, this is not a
problem for you. But it's a principle as much as a, you're going to be in trouble of any kind.
Yeah. Because, and that's the crazy part of this rule of thumb. If you said, hey, Jade,
I want to get this $99,000 car in cash, I'd be like, knock your likes out. I'll tell you this
dumb, but do it. I mean, it's not going to hurt you. It'd be stupid, but do it. Right.
but it goes back to that principle of can you just can you just eat that yeah man
interesting conversation i like it i like it i like it all right uh i like these social
questions that we have on the desk so uh if you follow us on social media uh you can submit
questions i guess even if you don't follow us you can submit questions that's the whole point
but if you don't want to call into the show and this is a way that you want to ask you
can do that so william from facebook says is there an average amount or
percentage, you should set aside in your budget each year to fund for future maintenance and repairs on
home. So like he's wondering if there's like an actual number that we're saying, hey, in your budget,
always budget this amount kind of as a sinking fund. It's like a depreciation. Yeah. My answer would
be no. Obviously you've got your emergency fund, right? Three to six months. That is for the stuff that
pops up that you didn't see was coming. And then beyond that, I would treat it as a sinking fund.
anything that you feel like you couldn't cash flow in a month's time.
Like some people, their income is enough that if they blew their tire out, they could cash flow it.
Other people, if they blow their tire out, that's setting them back.
So yeah, you probably need to have some sort of a car maintenance sinking fund that you're putting $50 a month in or $25, whatever suits your budget that you're putting aside every, you know, month for that.
What else does he ask for?
Home repairs.
Yeah, again, if you know your roof is 25 years old.
and you're going to need one in two years?
Yeah, start putting aside for it.
So, yeah, that's a really good question.
It's not a certain amount.
There's not an amount that we say, this is the amount.
It's based on your situation and your budget.
And by the way, if you don't have an every dollar budget,
I'm going to suggest you get one.
It's the best budget out there.
It's the one that I use.
It's the one that John uses.
And it'll help you create those sinking funds that you need.
All right, today's scripture and quote of the day, First Thessalonians 511-511, therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing.
All right. Vince Lombardi said confidence is contagious. So is a lack of confidence. That's so good.
Gosh, that's what everybody needs right now. Confidence? Is a unified. We got this.
I like that.
Yeah.
That'd be cool.
It makes me think of, gosh, I always go to remember the Titans, and you've never seen it, which is...
Me?
Right?
I've seen it a thousand times.
Okay, but the last time I feel like I quoted it, you didn't know what I was talking about.
What'd you quote?
It was about mounting up on wings like eagles.
That was the quote of the day.
Yeah, and I said, like eagles, y'all.
Like eagles, y'all.
Yeah, yeah, totally forgot it.
Out of context.
I've seen it a thousand times.
I was thinking about it again.
I was like,
Strong time.
Yeah, dude.
This one I was thinking,
attitude reflects leadership.
Captain, right?
Anyway,
moving on.
And the math teacher
brings in like that film strip.
He's like,
I've been breaking down the other tenancies.
I was like,
bro, you're like running algorithms
with a pro tracker.
So good.
It's a classic,
classic movie.
A film really.
You should really watch it.
All right.
Kira is in Austin, Texas.
Hey, Kira.
How can we help today?
Hi, Jade.
Hi, John.
I had a question.
And my employer allows us to convert our 401k to Roth,
and I was wondering if that is a good idea to start doing.
Yes.
Yes.
If you got the cash, do it.
Okay.
I can't do it all at once because I have quite a large 401K,
and the company only matches if you contribute to the 401K, not the Roth.
So over time, would that be a good investment to do?
I think so. They only match it if it's the traditional 401K. They don't match it if you put it into the Roth 401K.
Correct. So I'm still contributing to the 401k, but I can convert it to the Roth, which is weird. But then you can't touch that for five years.
So I'm going to go with the traditional first because the equation is match beats traditional beats Roth. Match beats Roth beats traditional. There we go. So free money, nothing's going to be.
beat out free money. And so we want the free money first. And then we love Roth over
traditional, right? Because when you're older and down the line, you don't want to have to pay
taxes on that money. You don't want your family have to pay taxes on that money. So if you can
convert it, that's also a great thing. And yeah, I would do that. Okay. And I could only do
a little bit over time because I don't want to get out of my tax bracket when I like,
because, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but it counts as income, right, when you
convert it, and then you have to pay, like, I don't want to move out of the tax bracket, so if I
make a large amount, I don't want to, like, you're over my skis on that one. You'll have to
ask a tax pro on that one. Yeah. Okay. What baby supper are you on? I'm on four,
I think. Whatever, whatever, uh, paying down the house. Okay.
So you might want to get with a tax pro, but you should be paying your paying money because you're basically, essentially when you do a Roth, you've already paid the taxes on it.
Yeah, no, I meant when I convert it, so let's say I convert $50,000, don't I have to pay my tax bracket percentage for that $50,000 that I convert?
Yes, but that's the conversion.
that's what you're you're paying taxes on that 50 grand as though it was income now and you're
not going to pay taxes on it when it becomes 500 grand 30 years from now yeah so yeah so that's
what I'm saying is like I have $330,000 in the 401k that I could convert but I don't want to
convert all of that at once because I don't have the money to pay yeah okay so here's the thing
here's technically this is this is a baby step seven action what you're doing here um so I should
pay off my house before I do that. Technically, yes, because it's almost like if you were rolling this money
over to a traditional Roth, or I'm sorry, to a Roth IRA. It's almost like if you were doing that,
and we would save that for Baby Step 7 because of the tax implication. You're in Baby Step 4,
so there's other more important things to do than to do that. Now, I wish, I'm thinking through this,
because this is the first time I've had this call because I love a Roth, but at the
first, at the same time, you're getting this match over. So I'd almost pretend like the other one
wasn't there until baby step seven.
Okay, so don't convert it.
Yeah, because I don't want that.
Yeah, I don't want that tax burden on you until after baby step six. Yep, that's my final
answer. Is that your final answer, John? I think my final answer would be
start converting that other, the back.
clog, if you will, like maybe start now, like this year's income, convert it?
That's what I was thinking is doing like $50,000 a year.
And what's your take-home salary every year?
What do you make?
For me and my husband, both are just me.
Just you at your company that you would roll to, you'd do it back to a Rothwa.
200,000.
Okay, so you make a chunk of money.
Okay.
I don't mind that.
I don't mind what John said.
And keeping the past in the past, but from this point forward, whatever your current
amount is that you're starting with it as a traditional, then at the end of the year or whatever,
however you want to do it, rolling that over. I'm not mad at that.
And here's my, my algorithm on that in my head is, is not a dollar for dollar. I'm sure
somebody can whip out a calculator and make a math case one way or the other.
Well, she would have been doing that anyway, like on the taxes. Exactly. But I'm saying,
like, in doing it out of order, is there's a risk to, let's say the stock market has
significant troubles down the road, right? So there's a risk. Anytime you're in the stock market,
there's always, you're always playing a risk game. The one thing that's not going to change is that
mortgage is still coming every month. Yeah. And so I want to, I want to knock out the thing
that's against me all the time. Like, I want to take the risk off the table. And that's,
that's just a personal thing. And so I would, I would probably roll the, the, your this year's income into
the Roth, to do it back to our Roth at the end of the year.
But I would, yeah, I'm with Jade.
I would save that catch up, if you will, until I've taken all my risk off the table.
But that's just me.
And that may be a terrible mathematical calculation.
I can't do the math in my head.
But that's for me just wanting to solve for peace in my house.
Yeah.
So the only reason I was thinking about converting it since it grows tax-free once you pay taxes
on it is than anything, it grows from it, and I still have.
And well, that's why I said, that's why I said your current amount, like whatever you're putting
in there for this year and the years going forward, I'm fine with you getting the match and then
rolling it over and then, because that was a tax burden you were going to take anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
Whereas the big chunk, the 330 or 40 or whatever it was, that's a bigger tax burden.
And like, I'm with you on John.
I'd rather not have a house payment.
Save the big chunk as a baby step seven action.
Yeah, that's a good question.
And that will cost you for everyone who's yelling and screaming into their YouTube.
Yeah, people aren't going to agree with us on that.
It's going to cost you, and Dave may disagree with me, but it's going to cost you potential compound growth that, I mean, it's going to cost you money to keep it there, right?
If you're going to roll into a Roth and it could have grown tax-free or there's going to be a penalty there, right?
It's going to cost you something to not make that action, but it's also going to cost you money that could have paid down your house principal.
and that house principal never is going to go away. And so I would take that risk off the table
first. That's just me. It's a prioritization. We would say that if somebody, if somebody called in today
and even though this is through her employer, if somebody called in today and said, hey, I've got
$500,000 sitting in my traditional fund, should I roll it over? But they had a bunch of a pile of
debt sitting there and they had payment. We would still walk them through the baby steps. And so in the
baby steps. Any type of conversion, any type of investing over 15% is a baby step seven action.
And so that's the way it rolls. And it's just like John said, it's keeping the priorities,
the priority, which is getting peace and getting your house paid off would come first in that.
But I do love the idea of the people who come after me, being able to get all of my retirement
with no taxes. Absolutely. Yes, it is important to do that. If you can do it,
do it. And if you can only do Roth, only do Roth, but like I said, free money, that's, again,
that's going to trump it at this point. So that's the way it works. All right, guys, enjoyed hanging
out with you today. Remember, there's only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily
with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Thanks for watching The Ramsey Show. See you next time.