The Ramsey Show - App - You Can’t Complain Your Way to a Better Life (Hour 2)

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is The Ramsey Show. It's where we help you win in your life, specifically with your money and in your work and in your relationships. The phone number to jump in to get coached up is 888-825-5225. I'm Ken Coleman.

Jade Warshaw joins me this hour. 888-825-5225. We'll take your money questions. Jade will lead you through those. And if you've got any work-related questions, hey, I need a bigger shovel. I need more money. And I feel like maybe I'm limited or I need some ideas.

You want to start a business. Any of those type of questions, we both weigh in on those as well. So thrilled to have you with us. Let's get this hour started with Faith in Cincinnati, Ohio. Faith, how can we help? Hi, I'm fangirling a little bit. I'm so excited. Thank you.

Well, you've got to have faith. You've got to have faith, faith, faith. There it is. Look at that. That was seamless. She didn't even know I was going to do it. Faith, what's going on? So I recently stopped my business, I guess, or sold it.

And I have all of my equipment, which I am now selling for $3,000. And I'm going to get the $3,000 in a want some tomorrow. Um, I've been, I've been following the baby steps pretty religiously, um, by the book and I'm on baby step number two. Um, so currently right now I have, um, four credit cards total, but my lowest is 600 and then 3000 exactly. Okay. So the question comes in where I'm going to get this $3,000 tomorrow. And I know usually we go, you know, first you pay off the $600 and then you'll go on to the $3,000. However, since I am getting exactly the $3,000 and the minimum payment on the $3,000 credit card is $130 versus the $600 is only $29. I was wondering if it would be smarter to go ahead and pay off the $3,000 in full. That way,

I have that extra $130 each month where I had paid that off and then it would really help me pay the $600 off quicker. Listen, it's a $600 difference. So the minimum payment is based on what the balance is on the card. So if you pay off the $600 one first, and then you turn around and pay the rest on the 3000 one, it's still going to knock your balance down to almost nothing, all but $600. Right. So if we're splitting hairs here, which we are splitting hairs, I would still do it the correct way just for the feeling of like, I'm done with this one. And now I'm going to the next one. And honestly, what we're doing here is we're teaching ourselves to submit to a plan and a way of life that's different from the way we've always done things. And that's what's at the crux of why I'm telling you to do it that way. Because I mean, like I said,

we're talking about two bills here, Ken. It's not like we're talking about a long list of debts. And like I said, it feels like splitting hairs, but there's something to that that I think is worth noting of saying, you know what? There's a plan that I said I was going to follow. I'm just going to submit to the plan. And the plan says smallest to largest. I might have my thoughts of thinking why it should be different or why my situation could be different. But there is something to be said for that practice of submitting to a plan and doing it for the purposes that the plan says, which in this case is to feel that quick win. And the interest doesn't have anything to do with it. And the monthly payment doesn't have anything to do with it. It's just those quick wins piling up. And so that's why I would do it that way.

Awesome. That sounds great. Thank you guys so much. Listen, what I want to clarify here, listen, if she goes home and she's like, listen, I want to do it that other way. Cause I like that. Lightning's not going to strike her, but I just told her that. I agree with you. It's still going to be, she's still going to have $600 to pay off. Exactly. One way or the other. It doesn't matter.

But I will say, I agree with you, Jayden, because you could almost hear the psychology in her voice that she was like, if I pay off the three, I only have to do $29 a month. And that's the whole point when Dave devised this thing. You don't give yourself this little out to go, well, I only have 600 left on this, but it's only 29 a month, so I could fudge here. And that's why. It's all mindset. It's all mindset. So great advice there. Let's go to Warren now in Houston, Texas. Warren, how can we help? Hey, man. So Essentially, in a nutshell, my wife quit working because we decided it was going to be best and we were going to try

to make it work for her to stay home and just try to live off my income. That income is $62,000. She was a registered nurse, so that income going away, it wasn't nothing, obviously. Yeah, how much?

I'm making a pile of debt, and I'm just trying to get out from under it and kind of get... How much was her income when she was a registered nurse? How much did she bring home when she was a registered nurse? She was roughly $30 an hour, so maybe right around the same, about $60,000 or so. So you've taken a cut of 50%? Essentially, yeah.

Okay, so we've got about... That was a couple years ago. We've been living off that for a little while, but like I said, it was a hit. Okay, so because we've got about three and a half minutes, quickly lay out forade what your actual debt is smallest to largest uh so the smallest would probably be student loan 3200 um my wife's car is about 5300 my truck about 8 000 left on the note um medical about 10 and I also have an investment property that's got about $90,000 on it left. Okay, and how much is left on your personal mortgage? That's about $2,300. $2,300 on the tractor?

Yes. Okay, and then go back and tell me, sorry, I talked over you, the property, what do you owe on it? The investment property was $90,000. Okay, and then your personal mortgage, what do you own on it? Just curious. I don't have a mortgage. Oh, you guys are renting? No, we own the house.

Oh, you own it outright. Okay, great. What's the investment property worth? Ballparking, if I had to guess, probably $120,000 if it was on a high end. Listen, if I'm you, you could sell the investment property, but there's part of me that feels like

are you guys on a budget? As far as what? You're not on a budget. There's your answer. Like a general day-to-day budget? Yeah, so I I got a budgeting app that I've downloaded recently and I started putting things into that. So yeah, it's kind of started the budget things out. Okay. You're starting to budget. I'm happy to hear that. I

hope that you're using the every dollar budget because it truly is the best way to budget. But I think when I'm looking at these numbers, I'm going, okay, the debt is not astronomical. I really truly think that you guys need a plan for your money. $60,000, you know, $62,000 you're bringing in. Your highest debt is a $10,000 medical debt, you know, and then your truck is $18,000. The rest of that makes it $18,000. The rest of it is just little ankle biters. So I might be of the mind of like, is your property cash flowing or is it just not really doing much? It's cash flowing. It's about $6,000 a year or so. I have a radical idea. Sell it?

It's radical. How long has the wife been home? About two years now. So I have a daughter that's two, and I have a relatively... I got to tell you something. The hard conversation that I'm having with my wife in this situation is, go back to work. The kids will be fine. It's such a small amount of debt.

And if we double our income, you can work the debt snowball fast. And then you can keep the income property. Am I crazy, Jay? No, that's right on right. For a small amount of time. Just to pay this debt off. So I think it's a tough conversation. The kids will be fine.

You need that income. That's the fastest way. RN, come on. It's either that or get rid of the income property. Yikes. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show, America, where we help you win with your money in your work and in your relationships. I'm Ken Coleman. Jade Warshaw joins me. We are here for you. 888-825-5225. We're going to get coached up.

Nothing to be scared of. We're going to take good care of you, give you some honest coaching, and cheer you on. 888-825-5225. Okay, before we get back to the phones, Jade, I saw a headline the other day, and I didn't dive in. Yeah. But I know you have,

and I know you've got an opinion. Listen. So I am seeing that now in our outrage culture, some student loan borrowers are going, I'm not going to pay. I'm going to protest. Wow. That's one thing to protest in the streets over a political candidate.

I'm all for that or some civil society problem. But this is not that. This is you borrow the money. And now am I hearing this right? Am I reading the headline right? Yeah. I mean, listen, that's my take on it as well. Some student loan borrowers are refusing to pay out of protest.

The article says millions of borrowers with existing student loans still have not made a payment since the bills resumed in October after a three-year hiatus. And some admit that they're refusing to pay for spite, like strictly out of protest. In an intelligent.com survey conducted this month, a thousand federal student loan borrowers, 25% of those people said that they had not made any payments at all. And 9% of that 25% said that they were holding off on paying their bills intentionally in an effort to pressure the government into canceling their debt. That's going to work. Oh man. 44% said they believe their protests will lead to cancellation of some federal student loan debt. And 28% think that it is likely that this boycott will convince the government

to cancel all student loan debt. You know, that's like me believing if I commit to leg day that I'll be able to dunk a basketball. Listen, it's not going to happen. I don't have the fast twitch. I don't care what I do. I can't dunk a basketball. When I hear this, I only hear it in a whiny voice. I only hear it in the voice of my three-year-old when she doesn't get her way because here's like it's time to let it go like can we just let it go god you let it go let it go like it's time to let it go and finally accept the fact that these student loans are here but i understand let me just say ken i understand why people are starting to feel like maybe there's a way.

Like you remember on Dumb and Dumber? Yeah. So you're saying there's a chance, right? Yeah, like one in a million. Yeah. And what's happening is this administration does keep kind of dropping these little breadcrumbs of forgiveness that is making people feel like maybe there's a chance. I know earlier this month, Biden did a- That's a great point.

Yeah. Because that was dangled for well over a year. It's still being dangled. Like Biden just did another one that says that they're going to forgive people who have $12,000 or less of student loans. That's the headline, but the underlying part says, and they've been paying for 10 years already.

I'm like, if you have $12,000 of student loans and you have not, it's taken you over 10 years and you still haven't paid them off, there's something wrong with you, not the government at that point. Just throwing that out there because you can do that with Instacart. Like you can pay off a $12,000 student loan

in one year with Instacart. So don't get me started. You gotta show me how to set up an Instacart on the commercial break. Listen. I hear a lot about it. The problem is people are thinking to themselves, I can't get away with just not paying my student loan. If I don't want to pay it, I'm just not going to pay it. I think I'm going to try this with my taxes this year.

I'm going to tell my accountant that I'm protesting in hopes that the IRS will see the error of their ways. I think it's that ridiculous. I think it's the same level of ridiculousness. But they're only, this is the perfect situation where we apply that adage of like, it's drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Because the government, the government is in their office with their feet up on the table eating a ham sandwich

while you're destroying your credit. You're making it hard next to impossible for you to ever buy a house you're setting yourself up for them to garnish your wages okay that i'm glad you're talking about this because the real real is what how long does this protest last before they start cracking on them well you know the first thing that happens is like when you don't pay your bill it's like okay you're late you're right you're and then it goes there's fees yeah six percent in some cases then you go into default and if you stay in default for long enough then

you go from owing what you what your missed payments were to owing the entire balance right right up front like it it escalates very quickly and what happens there is when that takes place it's like all right you're not going to be able to ever qualify not that i think that you need to but you take yourself out of the running to ever qualify for any payments forbearance deferment ever again because you've poo-pooed on it and said you know you've basically given the government the finger and so at that point you've you've truly screwed yourselves in many ways yeah and i'm like can you imagine you go to work and you don't even get your paycheck because they're able to garnish a certain percentage of your paycheck that's what people don't realize yeah they can take your passport you know what and

while you're protesting while you're protesting they can do those things to you and the thing is you think that these people are losing sleep over this in the government they don't care about that they don't care about you in fact they make you a poster child yes for vengeance listen i'm telling you there's nothing you know that old phrase is it how's it go uh there's nothing like a scorned woman what's that i messed that up it's something along the lines something about a woman scorned a woman scorned let me tell you what's worse than a scorned woman. A scorned bureaucrat. Oh, gosh. I'm telling you. You take a D.C. insider.

They're all about regulation. You hack them off. That's it. They're coming for you. I promise you right now. Listen. There is no protest. There's no protest.

It's over. I just need people to understand it's over. And I do want to appeal to some folks because I get it. People feel cheated, Ken. And that's- They feel lied to. They feel lied to and they feel like they're owed something. And I totally get that.

Like anybody who's had student loans feels that. You feel like, hey, I did what my parents told me. I did what everybody told me. And now here I am. I shouldn't have to deal with this alone. And I just want to remind you that you can't blame your way to a better life. You have to start working

and pushing your way out of that because otherwise you're just going to stay there. You're going to get resentful. You're going to, you just become faded glory. I like that. I got a question for you. It's like when you were good at you were good at high school basketball like you were good at basketball in middle school I was and people

you just keep reliving it and keep replaying it's like let it go man like right now you're that's why I shouldn't be playing pickup that's exactly why I don't play pickup at lifetime because I the glory days are so far gone that I can't I can't even remember all right now I have a question for you. Okay. Because I think you make a very good point that these people feel lied to. And okay. But what, how should those people feel that way when you got people like me and my wife who paid off our student loans?

And let me give you one other demographic, the youngsters that are signing up for student loans as we speak. Well, everybody feels like they're the exception, Ken. And I get that. Some people, some people are like, listen, I signed for my loans. I know I signed for my loans. I knew it was going to be $60,000, and I understood. Other folks feel like, listen, my parents signed for these loans. I never really understood. Some people feel like they were never taught how interest works when they were 18. There are true and valid reasons to feel cheated and I never want to take that away

But the fact of the matter is you may never get that apology You may never get somebody giving you what they owe you That is just a tough and hard reality of life and then you have to look back on yourself and go Okay, what am I going to do about it? Am I going to wait for somebody to take responsibility in my life? For my life or am I just going to go you know what you screwed me that wasn't right but i'm going to go ahead and clean up my life because i'm not waiting around for the likes of you government to do what i can do myself and that's really just the attitude that i want people to take on for themselves all right and we know that

can be done like we see it every day i i gave you the shot. You did a great job. I'm going to be a little bit angrier about it. All right. I'm tired of the fairness doctrine. I'm tired of the fair crap. I feel that. Let me tell you why. For those of you out there who don't think it's fair that Uncle Joe didn't come through, let me tell you about fair.

It's not fair that I paid my student loan off and you thought you weren't going to have to pay yours off. My job. Let me tell you what else. It's also not fair that a whole host of young people every year has had to sign up for student loans. And make it clear, Ken. It's not fair that they have to pay and that I had to pay and you, Snowflake, don't have to pay.

I'm sick of fair. Life isn't fair. Life is hard. Life sucks. Life can be great on the other side of hard and suck. You know how I know? Because I've had it hard and I've had the suck. Come on, Ken.

And my life is great right now. Around the world and back to now. So I'm tired of fair. Life isn't fair, you little snowflake. Get inside or you're going to melt. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. Jade Warshaw joins me. The phone number

for you to jump in to get some advice about your money, your work, and your relationships is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. Minneapolis, Minnesota is where Craig is joining us. Craig, how can we help? Hey, thanks for taking my call. You bet.

What's going on? So I've got a question about contributing toward educational expenses for my kids, and I've got to kind of need some advice on two different sides. So I divorced in 2020 and sort of really leaned into the Ramsey principles of being able to pay off $80,000 to $90,000 of debt. Way to go. And I'm sitting in a much better situation financially. So for my first marriage, I had four children, and then I remarried last year to a woman with two children from her previous marriage. Wow. As it relates to educational expenses, her children should have their education covered. One, because my wife was in the military and because she didn't use her educational funds,

her mother sort of wrapped that over and put that into her daughter's name. So that covers that side. So on my four kids, there is no saving. There's nothing for them. They're, you know, 16, 14, 8, and 6. So kind of feeling a little pressure on that. I'd like to start doing something. I have a really good income.

I'm about 160. My ex-wife has a very similar to maybe even slightly higher income than I do. Okay. Um, my, my ex-wife has a very similar to maybe even slightly higher income than I do. Okay. What, but has not followed any of the same principles which led to trouble in our marriage and all this other stuff. So she doesn't have her debt paid off. She doesn't have all this other stuff. She's spending like she's in Congress and new boats and campers and blah, blah, blah, blah, right? So, so a, should I even approach her to say, Hey, I'd really like to do something for the kids knowing that she's probably going to say, Hey, I can't do that because I have my own stuff to pay for. And if I choose to want to do something for my kids, how do I not have resentment toward her that she's spending her money having fun,

and I'm trying to better the future of the children. Why would you care if your ex-wife resents you because you're putting money on her? No, he's saying him resenting her. Oh, I misunderstood. I apologize. Me having resentful toward her is that I'm sacrificing'm sacrificing to better them and she gets to be the fun parent and do all the trips and well you gotta rise above that yeah why yeah and and there's good that's gonna that's gonna come out in the wash though like as they get older they're gonna see the reality of what's really gone on here right now they're young and they don't know

the difference but just trust me that'll come out in wash. What I would say is it can't hurt to go to her and say, listen, I'm thinking about the kids' college. Here's what I'm thinking about doing. Is there anything that you'd like to contribute? If she says yes, take what you can get. If she says no, then move on. Dust it off your shoulders and keep rolling and don't even really give it another second thought um and feel good about the fact that you are doing what's right and you are providing for your kids uh let's talk about let's just talk about what that looks like on your end since you're most likely going to be the one providing the most if not all so what could

that look like you said that you've paid off 90,000 of debt. Is that all your debt gone or do you still have some to go? No, I'm free and clear. Okay, perfect. And do you have some savings for yourself? Three to six months? I've got three to six months expenses. Last year, we bought a new to us vehicle for my wife. We have a net worth probably in that $600,000 to $700,000 range. Just for clarity, we're $37,000 and $39,000. So we're in a better spot. And are you investing 15% towards retirement? Both of us are investing 15% in a Roth. Okay, so here's the deal.

You've got a 16-year-old, it's too late for the 529. You're not going to be able to do enough for it to matter. What was the second age? 14. 14. Yeah, you're kind of in that situation there. So you're looking at scholarships and cash flowing and all that. So now you're looking at the youngsters.

And it comes down to what, Jade? The line item of what he can actually do each month for the littles? I just want to make sure. It sounds like you and your current wife are on the same page with money. Like, is it just you putting your income? Have you or are you guys in agreement that we're both paying for this? Yeah, we're I mean, so that's that's where it gets in. So, like, we've combined everything together.

We're, you know, living as one. We we have sort of a different mindset as it relates to kind of how, how life works with money and kids and everything else. Because while she had a, a, a family that had a lot of money, they were very controlling with it. So like she has this sort of negative side viewpoint of money where I'm like money is opportunity and everything else.

So I mean, it's, it's like she has a hard time with me saying, Hey, I want to pay for my son's car insurance. You know? Okay. Like, she just has that.

Like, she feels like they need to make their own way. Is that what you're saying? A little bit. And, I mean, my 16-year-old works 14 hours a week, you know, on top of school and everything. So, like, he's making money, but he has a life and a girlfriend and everything else. But so kind of where we, where we, where we struggle a little bit is,

is because I make four X her income. I make 160, she makes 40. She already feels sort of inferior with money. So like when I'm trying to do things and trying to make fine, smart financial decisions, she feels like I'm taking the, taking the reins and because it's my money, then it's my decision. Craig, you guys need a marriage counselor. Craig, Craig, listen to me. You guys need a marriage counselor. You guys got to get on the same page with this stuff. She's dragging baggage in. You got baggage. Yeah, I agree. I mean, Jade, give the financial advice,

but I just have to say that. I think that I can tell you what I think numbers wise, but I truly agree with Ken. And that's normal. Like, we're not saying that in a like, you need counseling. Like, listen, I go to counseling. Everybody needs, everybody needs counseling. So we're just saying that in a way that it's easier to just iron this stuff out when you have a mediator there and that they can kind of have an unbiased view of what's going on it really does help because I do think that

especially in this conversation because it does involves kids college and they're going to be able to look back on this and say what am I what did my mom and stepmom do you don't you want to feel like you're entering that on one accord so there's no unintentional negativity that the kids feel as to how their college is being paid for or anything like that so that being said i do think that you need to start planning for this now and starting to set aside money now um out of the budget however it is that you guys budget your money now i hope that you get it on one accord but for now just start putting that money aside. And you guys do need to get on the same page with this sooner than later, because I think it's going to make it,

the deeper you get into this, if you don't deal with it, it's going to start erupting even more and causing, right now it's kind of bubbling underneath the surface because nobody's in college yet. But when that day comes, you're going to start to feel it if you don't deal with it now. That's right. And I'm actually less concerned with you feeling resentment towards your ex. Now I'm starting to worry about resentment towards your current wife. I agree. That's what I'm concerned about. And that's the one that's more important because you guys are joint and you're on this new life. And I think Jade's right. I'd get control of this now. This is not an emergency. It's not a fire, but she's got some trauma over money. Let's just be honest.

And that's not her fault. She comes from a controlling family. So I do think that you guys having a healthy conversation with the therapist, like Jade said, I think that's going to be huge because you are feeling this pressure and this duty to fund your kids. And if you feel in any way that she's holding that up, that's not good. Yeah, I agree. And he also needs to start thinking through with himself and bring the wife into this conversation, what it is going to look like for the kids college. Are you planning on paying a full way for all four kids? Are you planning to do half and half? Like start coming up with realistically what the financial plan can be. And you need to start talking to the 16 year old about it now. If you're saying to him, listen,

I'm not, you know, this is my max amount that I'm putting in. You need to have a state school at the very least, start having those conversations about the expectation so that when the time comes, there's no, I didn't know that, or you never said that, or I just assumed you don't want that. So really be clear about what the situation is going to be. No one said that you have to pay a kid's whole way through college. Let me make that clear. Great stuff. She's Jade Warshaw. I'm Ken Coleman. Don't move. More of the Ramsey Show coming right up. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. Jade Warshaw joins me.

The phone number for you to jump in for your coaching call is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. Jade, you got something? Speaking of coaching calls, Ken, we are doing something that's never before been done. This is a brand new idea that we have. And it starts next week, Tuesday, January 30th. We are going to do a Ramsey show after hours situation where we are going to stay after the Ramsey show.

We broadcast three hours every day. Who's we? Am I invited to this? This one ain't you, Ken. I had a feeling I wasn't invited. I never get invited to these things. This one is me and George Camel with a K. We are going to stay after and answer all your questions about budgeting. And not only are we going to answer questions, but we're literally going to have every dollar, which is the world's best budgeting app. We're going to have it pulled up and we're literally, whatever the question is, we're going to exactly show you how to do it. Not really a demo.

We're just going to like, if somebody pulls up and is like, listen, how am I supposed to do sinking funds? We're going to show them how to do sinking funds. If they're like, you know, I don't have enough money in my budget. What can I do? You know, should I, we're going to show them how, if they make an extra you know, I don't have enough money in my budget. What can I do? You know, should I? We're going to show them how if they make an extra $500, how it's going to affect their budget, show them long term planning.

Like we're going to show them financial roadmap, all of that stuff. And so it's very interactive. It's going to be very fun. It's going to be for an hour. Again, the first one is Tuesday, January 30th. It's right after the Ramsey show. So 5 p.m. Central time.

And if you're watching on YouTube, which is the best way, you can even call in. You can put your questions in the chat. You can call in and there's going to be somebody feeding us the questions. And I think it's going to be awesome. It's real time. Sounds fun. Yeah. Sounds fun. Very helpful, by the way. Yes. And you're going to do it in every dollar yes yeah by showing them how simple it is okay good so you'll see you'll see us on the screen and then you'll see every dollar right there so you're there's no no excuses uh hit the sign up details one more time yeah i think it'd be good well you don't have to sign up you just have to be there it's tuesday january

30th and it's right after the show so just go on to our youtube just get to the youtube channel for the randy and you'll see it on there as a live stream. All right. Book it, folks. Make the appointment. It's free. I love it. Let's go to Greg now in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania. Greg, how can we help? How you doing, guys? You guys are awesome. Thank you. What's going on? Just want to say thank you. Yes. I've taken your course probably a couple years ago, me and my wife, and we got like $90,000 paid off in two years. Nice. Well, basically, we fell off the wagon. I got a settlement from an accident. We'd made some stupid decisions. Now we're back in the debt about $55,000. Wait a minute.

We bought vehicles. We bought timeshares. Wait a minute. We've done all kinds of stupid stuff was it we yeah it was we why take some credit for it too how do you tell us what happens where you pay off 90 000 all that hard work settlement and then you decide to just start borrowing again what's going on i just i don't know we just we just got away from it i guess maybe having that kind of money just got got a little bit maybe how much was the settlement basically i was 40 like 40 something like 42 43 000 dollars wow okay and basically now i'm i'm my wife just recently we need to my wife just recently, we need to get back on the budget.

We need to get back on the budget. I was like, you know what, if you want to go full force and do this, then yes. Yes. I'm all in. Okay. Okay. Go ahead. No, I'm, I'm with you. I'm like, if you're going to do this full force, let's do it. I just want to make sure that we figure out what it was that caused you to pay $90,000 off and get a windfall of over $40,000 and somehow end up in $55,000 of debt like that. There is something I wish Dr. John Deloney was here to help us uncover. But I want to make sure that I want you to listen. I want you to go ham and pay off this debt again. But more than that, I want to make sure we get to the bottom of how the heck this happened right oh I totally agree but I suggested to my wife that we sell her car Carvana will give her 25k okay and put my truck in it because it's 672 dollars a month on

the payment okay so I want to try to I want to try to eliminate that but it's basically and get rid of the timeshare obviously but it's hard to convince her to to be on board with all that down with you know i don't know and that's that that i don't know is the most important thing in this entire equation because we gotta know because you can't you can try to do this alone but it's not the right way to do it. And it won't last because she's going to keep putting you guys in debt. So. And that's what, basically my question is, what is your all suggestion? And am I, am I wrong for asking this? No, I think that.

I just, I don't know what to do. You've had a moment, you've hit on your own, on your own accord. You've hit that. I've had a moment of, wait a minute, like we're, we're going in the wrong direction. Look at our life. And you on your own on your own accord you've hit that I've had a moment of wait a minute like we're we're going in the wrong direction look at our life and you on your own have had that self-realization moment she hasn't had it yet so I don't know that I mean basically she says you know it's time it's time for us to be on I mean to be on the budget but I don't think she wants to be full force I think she wants to just why do you say that here and there because you don't want to give her the time share she don't want to you know she don't want to i guess maybe drive a lesser of a vehicle she wants to be on a budget so that she can manage the debt she just wants to manage the

money going forward but she doesn't want to have to give up anything in order to do it that's exactly right oh maybe that's what it is yeah she's she's being listen no i i don't buy it greg you do know she's she you know what's going on princess 100 she doesn't want to be responsible she wants all the benefits and you guys got a little bit of money and you were able to floss a little bit and show it off and she doesn't want anybody to see you guys go in the other direction i got called spade to spade on that and that's what i think it is i think that she's more concerned this is just me based on what you said it sounds like she's more concerned on how it will feel and how it will look than what you guys will gain from doing this exactly

what it is and i'm not i'm is. I'm not trying to bash her. And we're not. I'm not for a lot of stuff, too. You know what I mean? Sure. Greg, this is a marriage issue at this point. Because where this goes is this begins to divide you two. And listen, I'm not saying that this is a five-alarm fire,

but this is a marriage conversation to say to her here's how i feel see don't make it about her make it about you here's how i feel here's what this debt does to me here's what these payments do to me walk her through it this is how i feel do you feel this way like maybe ask some questions after you tell her how you feel and say how do you feel about how I feel? Yeah. Because I think we got to get all the feelings out on the table so that we know what we're dealing with. And this may be a, I think it's at least a couple of sessions with a good marriage therapist to kind of walk you all through how you're seeing things differently.

And you both share your emotions on this and let's see where she's at on this because maybe you haven't framed it the right way i don't know i'll frame let me let me do i'm gonna do greg a favor because oh there's certain things that greg can't say or he'll be you know r.i.p right but i can say it because i like this i'm here there comes a point in time where we have to become adults and we have to act like adults. And the child inside of us kicks and screams and wants what they want. But let me tell you something. If I went to Sam Warshaw, my spouse, and I said, listen, we're wilding out right now. We paid off ninety thousand dollars and somehow we're in fifty five thousand dollars

of debt. It's time for us to act like adults and sell our stuff. If he said, well, I don't want to do this and I don't want, I want to keep my car though. I would be like, boss up and sell your car. And that's what I'm telling your wife. It's time, Mrs. That you get on the same page. You got to sell your car, mama. Like you got to give it up. And I know that your friends are going to see it. I know you're not going to be able to go to the panhandle and have your weekend you know vacations and your time share but you you got a boss up and you got to do this the right way and your husband wants this and he loves you yeah I say because it's worn me out I mean I've had to pick up a second job and all that you know what I mean so I'm working from sun up to sun down so it's kind of exhausting and that's where I'm kind of at I'm at exhaustion Greg she's got to know how

you feel too I Jade's right but you got to say because if she wants to be married to you then this will be a wake-up call that's the reality because you won't be able to go on like this forever yeah wow that's tough Greg's Greg's working sun up to sundown. Working day and night. Greg's afraid to put his foot down. And it's not that he's, it's not like a man versus woman thing. It's we're adults. We're adults. Do adult things.

Make yourself uncomfortable. Great hour, Jade Warshaw. Always great to be with you. I want to thank James Childs and the crew behind the glass to keep us on the air. And thank you, America, for listening. This is your show. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time.