The Ramsey Show - App - You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

📈 ⁠⁠Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan⁠⁠ Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze answer your questions and discuss: "How do I buy a car in the midst of a divorce?" "How do I pay off my $1.8 million of debt?" "What do you think about companies displaying 'tariff costs' on their prices?" "How do I get my girlfriend and I on the same page financially?" "Our mortgage broker won't put me on the mortgage because I don't have any credit." "I'm behind on my bills, how do I get out of $35k of debt?" Next Steps: ✅ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Help us make the show better by taking this short survey!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠send us an email.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📱 ⁠⁠⁠Watch the full episode for free in the Ramsey Network app.⁠⁠ 💰 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hurry—Your chance to win $5k is almost over! Enter the Ramsey Cash Giveaway today!⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🏠 ⁠⁠Get organized and prepared to buy or sell a home.⁠ 💵 ⁠⁠⁠Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app!⁠⁠⁠ Connect with our Sponsors: Stop paying more and start shopping smarter at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Aldi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get 10% off your first month of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Boost Mobile⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to switch today! Learn more about⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Christian Healthcare Ministries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get started today with⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Churchill Mortgage⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get 20% off when you join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DeleteMe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Go to⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FAIRWINDS Credit Union⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for an exclusive account bundle! Save 15% on your first ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Field of Greens⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ order with code RAMSEY Find top Health Insurance Plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Health Trust Financial⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To find out more about student loan refinancing, check out⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Laurel Road⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ NetSuite⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ today to learn more Use promo code RAMSEY for 18% off at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Nokbox⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Timothy Plan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get started with ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YRefy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or call 844-2-RAMSEY Visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Zander Insurance⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your free instant quote today! Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Ramsey Show Highlights⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🧠 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Dr. John Delony Show⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🍸 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Smart Money Happy Hour⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💡 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Rachel Cruze Show⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💰 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠George Kamel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🪑 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📈 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠EntreLeadership⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. My co-host today, Rachel Cruz, number one bestselling author and host of the Rachel Cruz Show, co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour, all on Ramsey Networks, and my daughter. She's going to be answering the questions today and I'm going to watch. Open phones at 888- 2 5 5 2 2 5. Nathan is in Birmingham. Hi Nathan, what's up? Hi Nathan. Dave, thanks for taking my call. Sure. I got a question, it's kind of a

rough situation. I need to know the best way to buy a used car going through a pretty nasty divorce. My car finally just bit the dust. My buddy said it can't, it's the transmission's out. The frame's rusted and the type that just drives them until they're dead. The problem is I don't know what my soon to be ex did with the finances.

She split up everything, left me with almost nothing. My lawyer's been trying to work on finding that out but she's not working with a lawyer so I just need to know the best way to do this if we've combined everything we have the money to do that but she basically is telling me to either get a car loan or which I don't like doing because we found I got out of debt but I just need to know the best way to approach this Having to go out how long have you been separated Nathan? About five or six months and where has your paycheck been going son? Oh, I have my I have my own new

Bank account. Oh how much is in that together? right now about two thousand dollars because I'm paying for Lawyer fees are really taking a good chunk of my money right now. And you're saying that you guys had a combined savings and she... We had about a combined $50,000 cash available. Okay. And I don't know what he's done with that. So, first thing you do is you call your lawyer and you say, Okay. I need half of our savings account transferred to me by the end of the day. This is asinine.

Okay. I want my money, now. Is there a judge involved, Nathan? Not yet. But the lawyer picks up the phone and calls her lawyer and says, you have 24 hours to transfer $25,000 or we're going to get before a judge. Now the problem is she's not working with a lawyer right now.

Good. We're going to go before a judge if you don't listen lady. Okay. Okay. So you've been being real sweet and stand back and trying to let the lawyers do it and the lawyers aren't doing their job. They're not working. Yeah, I'm thinking you gave him money and she still sits on your money for six freaking

months. Light a fire under some people, buddy. So yeah, that's I need a car. I want my 25,000 now. We'll negotiate the rest of it later, but I want my money now okay you hear what I'm doing I'm creating urgency with my voice you've been pushed around and you're about to push back your only other option is take your car which is a piece of crap and sell it for

whatever five hundred or seven hundred dollars to the local salvage yard right yeah pretty much and then put two thousand dollars with that and go get you a three thousand dollar car to drive until for six months until you light a fire under these people on the other side of this discussion okay but this tells you that you've been tolerating this too long yes yes you're right yeah so the the a friend of mine that does divorce recovery work says that what people have the most trouble with in your situation and you're struggling with it, and most it's human, it's not you're a bad guy, but most people forget this. You get all tangled up with the emotions

and the grief and the anger and everything else regarding the actual marriage coming to an end. But what in reality is happening is when a divorce occurs, it turns a marriage into a business transaction. And if you were in a business partnership and the partnership was closing down, you would not allow your business partner to sit on $50,000 when 25 of it's yours. Yeah.

For five freaking months. I think the other problem is she's currently pregnant, it's not mine, so that kind of throws another branch into this. No, it doesn't affect anything. Okay. That's her problem. Okay. That's not your problem.

Her problem is she's got $50,000, 25 of which is yours, and she's getting ready to get a judge to give her a little slapping if she doesn't get their money turned over. That's what's going on. That's her problem. Okay. She's got other issues like getting pregnant with other people while she's married to you. That's gonna be another issue and that pisses you off and hurts your feelings and you you know, if she had a lawyer, he'd be like going crazy right now, trying to defend this situation, oh my gosh.

And so, yeah, you've got to bring this thing to a head. For your peace of mind, Nathan, I'm like for this just to drag on in general, whether you need a car or not, for this to be sitting in such limbo for so long, I think, yeah, it needs to be done in such limbo for so long I think yeah it needs to be done. Here's the thing if you don't get this done you're gonna reach over there to get the money it's gonna be gone. It may already be gone. Yeah that's what kind

of concerns me. Yeah I'm kind of worried about that right now so but you know she's on the hook for it because you have you have some kind of proof or can get proof that that money existed when you left the house. Oh yes sir, yes. And so she definitely spent marital assets illegally. No question. Now whether she'll ever be able to pay it back, probably not, doesn't sound like this is the smartest chick on the planet.

So, anyway, yeah. Dude, you got to, you needed to have moved on this four months ago, but now you get to move on it. And if you do find out bad news, there's no money, and it's gonna take a while, and your attorney won't jack them up, then you get to go buy a $3,000 car with cash. Because the one you're driving wasn't $3,000,

so it's not like you're moving down. It's not like you got rid of a $80 dollar vehicle or something. So you know that's where you are. So stay stay calm but here's the thing treat this now as much as you can and it's hard to do because we're all emotional beings. I'm emotional just talking to you about it. It's not even me. So but I mean treat it like it's just a transaction. Everything having to do with the closing up of this marriage, the wrapping up of this marriage called a divorce. It's a transaction that needs to happen efficiently, smoothly, and quickly. Yeah, and your lawyer will know.

I've always been shocked and I feel like I still learn this, how different state to state handles the law when it comes to divorce from communal assets, marital assets, like all of it. It can get very complicated very quickly. And so making sure it's as clean cut as possible. And quick. And fast, that's the thing.

It's like wrap it up because, and especially since she doesn't have any representation, like, I don't know. I don't know if that makes it, it's gonna make it up because and especially since she doesn't have any representation like I don't know I don't know if that makes it. Yeah, it's gonna make it worse for her probably but also I don't know if it's gonna string along well What makes it worse for the rest of you out there is? She probably thinks she's gonna get away with this because she's not gonna buy in her corner as a lawyer I'm her telling her telling her this is dumb. You can't do that. Yes. Yes. Yeah, and

She's probably like well, yeah, I think this is my money, I'm having a baby, so I get to keep it. No, that's not how it works, darling. So she's got nobody there talking sense into her. And she may be getting her best advice from her friend on Instagram, which is probably not a good idea. We don't know. Probably not a good idea. We don't know.

Probably not a good idea. I'm just saying. Like, for sure, not a good idea. This is The Ramsey Show. Mindy is in Canada. Hi, Mindy. How are you? Hi, I Mindy, how are you? Hi I'm good, how are you?

Better than I deserve, what's up? I love that line. Um, okay, I'll try to make this brief. I am 35, married with a kid and a second on the way. I have 1.8 million in debt total. Good Lord. Yeah. Does that include your home?

I live in Montreal, which is the third most expensive city in Canada. And I work as a nurse, which is the cheapest paid in the whole of Canada. And what is the 1.8 million on? I hope it's just your real estate, right? Well, I have a triplex, which I owe about 680,000 on. I have my family home which I owe 590,000 on. Okay so what's the triplex worth? What's

the what? What's the triplex worth? The triplex is worth about 850. Okay. I'm trying to get 950 on it but I don't know if I should Lower the price. Oh, so you've got it up for sale. And what is your home worth? My home is worth about 750. Okay. All right. I got you and is that a seat? Seven and then six that's not all of it. And I have no it's not all of it. I have I Have two Hondas which I owe close to 70,000 on each. I have 350,000 of personal debt and then 35,000 of credit card and student loans. What is your 350,000 of personal debt? It was loaned

to me mostly by my cousin both as a down payment for the house as well as to renovate the house and the triplex. Wow. And what's your household income? Around 110-120 thousand before tax. Yeah. So we take away about... I'm gonna go back one more time I apologize, but I didn't write the condos down you owe 70 each on two condos onto Honda's I put condo to Not worth 70

No, they're fairly new but they're electric No, they're fairly new, but they're electric. Okay. We got them because we would be saving 500 in gas per car. Yeah, it makes a difference when you're $2 million in debt. That's a big deal. Yeah. Not! Okay.

All right. Oh, God. All right. So how can we help him? Well, I had my moment when I saw 22,000 going out in one month after doing a budget and I don't know what exactly to do. I tried to get my wife on board. She says she'll get rid of everything besides for the house and the cars.

I cut out everything from potato chips to haircuts, literally anything I could to curb the debt, curb the expenses. And I wish I could do more jobs a day, but my doctor says that because I'm bipolar, I need to have a healthy work-life balance. because I'm bipolar I need to have a healthy work-life balance and my wife is going on maternity leave in 12 weeks. How much of her salary is the 120? She makes about 66. So half of it is that paid for paid maternity leave? She gets 70% paid. Okay. For how long? For a year. And how much are these car payments a month? Just under $7.58. Okay. Okay. Well I think we need to have a different discussion at your kitchen table. It's not like, what will she go along with?

She's one of the adults here too. And the two of you need to sit down and look at this and go, uh, in 10 years, where do we want to be? And, uh, I'm collapsing under the weight of this. I can't do it anymore. This is killing me. It's aggravating your bipolar because your stress level is through the roof.

Yes. Yeah. And so it's not a matter of I have to keep a princess happy. The princess gets to grow up and be a woman, like a grownup. Yeah. And she gets to look at this with you and say, we have children to raise, a life to build,

and the one that we have is falling down around our ears and we have to do something. The house is on fire, darling. We can't discuss what you want it to burn. You get to decide with me if we're going to let the house burn down or are we going to do something to put it out? We don't get you don't get to sit here and go I don't like fire

That's not an option anymore. You're like a grown woman with kids and so you got to reframe this like how because you've been running around trying to Shovel things in her direction to keep her happy and like like she's your child or something and that's not working relationally and it's not working in your decision-making either because y'all make sucky decisions. Yeah I do. No not you both of you. Yeah. She's involved that's my point. Yeah point So the two of you sit down together And then if you back up and if I you're not dumb people if I hired you To sit down and look at someone's situation exactly like yours, and it wasn't all your stress. You would look at it and go oh

Electric Honda's are gone. Bye bye We're getting cheap cars, like $5,000 cars, and I don't really care what they burn. Kerosene, diesel, electricity, doesn't matter to me. We're driving them. We're not worried about the environment at all. We're not worried about the environment right now. The environment I'm worried about is not being broke.

And so there's your environment. And you don't get to be an investor in triplexes That thing's got to be priced in such a way that your real estate agent can sell it and get it gone And then you use that to clear up a bunch of this three hundred and fifty thousand dollars in debt Yeah, and with no car payments and no triplex and the 350 is reduced by I mean 200 or so 250 150 or so down to 200, then the two of you lean in and by the way she doesn't get a year off for a baby. I don't really care what the Canadian government says.

She gets to go to work. She lives with, she's broke people. Broke people work. So you get time off, a reasonable amount of time with a baby in most countries or situations that's six or eight weeks and then people go back to work and so you know you don't you don't get to work at 70% and not work and while we're broke sorry it's how this works and no we're not spending three hundred fifty thousand dollars to redo the dad gum nursery

either kids sleeps on a used baby bed we get at a garage sale. People survive this stuff, but only when they make grown up decisions. And dude, just listening to the tone and cadence of your voice, my heart is breaking for you. You sound like you are walking around under a 400 pound weight. You sound so scared to death. Well then add two babies in the mix for you guys.

I'm like, that's a lot. It's a lot. But the answer to getting rid of this anxiety is getting rid of all the crap and the debt associated with it. I hope you can turn this and not sell your house. I hope you can. And I want you to try to do that,

sell everything but the house first But then a year later if you're still paddling and you still can't do it. You may have sell the house But you you guys have got to quit buying crap You can't afford and I really don't care how expensive freaking Montreal is you may not get to live there anymore There are cities that are too expensive for some people to live in You can't live in Tokyo, you can't live in New York City, Manhattan, you can't live in London and make minimum wage. You can't afford to live there, they're too expensive. And so I don't know if Montreal goes on that list or not, I'm not an expert on Montreal, I'm not an expert on any of them, but gosh

son, I'm afraid for you because the biggest thing I'm afraid is I'm afraid an expert on any of them, but gosh son, I'm afraid for you because the biggest thing I'm afraid is I'm afraid that you're afraid of her and you're not going to deal with this. And you two have got to sit down and have some grown up discussions about both of you being grown ups and come to the table and clean this mess up. Those babies depend on y'all. Yes, and the whole idea, the picture of the house is on fire and you're not gonna get the fire out with water guns, right?

Just trying here and there, we're just kind of bleep, bleep, bleep, like this is a fire hose. Like everything is gonna look completely different and should by tomorrow with your mindset when you guys sit down tonight and just say, we have to get everything out. Our life is going to look completely different in the next three to six months. Mathematically, mathematically, I can get everything out. Our life is going to look completely different in the next three to six months. And it should.

Mathematically, I can get you out if you did everything I told you to do. But I don't know if you'll do it or not. That's the variable I can't get figured out here. When you decide to go do it, you can clean this up. Our question of the day is brought to you by WhyRefi. Some lenders don't touch defaulted private student loans but WhyRefi was built for this exact problem. They'll explore refinancing options with a low fixed-rate custom built for your

situation deal and you can get your student loans cleaned up on defaulted private student loans go to wireify.com Slash Ramsey that's the letter y re f y dot com slash Ramsey might not be in all states Today's question comes from Andrew in Nevada What do you think about companies displaying tariff costs? Callouts and their prices when they've had to increase them due to tariffs. I'll be honest, I don't think I've seen this. I'm starting to see it a couple of places. Where? Like retailers? Yeah. Or like cars? Cars, different things. There's different people are starting to show it. Here's the thing though, the truth

is is that almost no tariffs have actually gone into effect yet. It's all discussion and threats and so forth at this moment. Now if some of these do go into place, it does add to that company's cost. So if an item that they are selling you cost them 20% more and they're going to raise their prices and they want to explain why, well that seems actually good that they tell you why they went up you know instead of instead of something being a thousand dollars it's gonna be 1200 and it's all due to tariffs we just tell you know I'll give you an example that's similar to that you remember when gas prices went way up the guy that cuts our

yard and does our work here and has worked for me for 20 years, he does all the work on all of our commercial buildings and everything else, does all the landscaping, he put a fuel surcharge on the bills. He took his normal bill, his normal contract with us and he goes, my gas costs have gone double. Yeah. And so I put a fuel surcharge on there. I wasn't pissed at him about that. He legitimately, his dad, gas was costing double. Yeah. And so I put a few fuel surcharge on there. I wasn't pissed at him about that.

I, he legitimately, his dad gum gas was costing double. Right, right. So it's not, it's not like they're doing something wrong. Now, if they're collecting extra money on a tariff that has not yet occurred, I might have trouble with that one. They're like lying. Yeah. So what you mean? Yeah, like they're, you know, I might struggle with that one ethically, hello, or collecting on some tariff they think might occur, and that's more of a political statement than it is an actual accounting function. Okay, and so it's like, it's kind of like, you know, anyway,

but I'm not seeing a lot of this yet. I've seen a little of it. And the biggest reason is, is there's not a lot of actual tariffs have hit the shores of the United States yet. And so- And when they do, I mean, the truth is small businesses, we're gonna feel it.

I mean, about any business, but especially, even with some of our stuff, you know what I mean? Like you just talked to like, I mean, there is a level. Almost all of our stuff is not done overseas. Some of the things I'm thinking of is. We've got a handful of things that are, but I mean, like your wallets are done in India. Yeah, but the truth is, it does affect small business,

and so you may see that. Yeah, if the cost of that wallet that we're doing in India doubles because of tariffs, we'll probably put that on the website. You're gonna have to see that. We'll probably put it out there for you. But so far it has not, by the way, okay? It's a lot of saber rattling, as they say in negotiating,

so far and boy, we have a chief saber rattler right now no question about that alright Jason is in Kansas City hey Jason what's up hey guys thanks for taking my call sure how can we help hey real quick I just feel stupid for asking it but I'm thinking about quitting my job and then doing for about 20 years and just doing something totally different. Um, am I dumb for wanting to do something that's better, better paying, um, my life, sleeping, everything like that is, am I dumb for what I'm just worried about?

I don't know. I'm just worried about making a big change, new doing about 20 years and doing something totally different I'm just nervous to take that step. Okay well I mean you need good information and the more information I have the calmer I am about taking a big step does that make sense? Uh-huh. So you said something about your retirement say that again. I just I'm worried the biggest thing more about my retirement you know be leaving away a big pension well I wouldn't be leaving away a big pension Well, I wouldn't be leaving it but won't be as big if I finish out doing my how old are you?

About 40 will they not will they lump summit or will they what make you wait till you're 65 to start taking it? Wait till I'm 65. You sure? Yes, okay So you're just gonna get it. It's just not going to be as much because you're not going to be there for the next 20 years. Thank God you hate the job. Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah. Let's go make some money, dude.

What do you want to do, Jason? I've got something else lined up, just doing my own thing, working with machinery and stuff like that, heavy equipment, clearing out brush and stuff like that. Do you have history doing this stuff? Do you have something you are gonna step into? Yeah, I've been doing it as a side gig. Okay.

What are you making as a side gig? Well, it's hard to say, maybe about, I don't know, $1,000 a month, roughly. Okay, and what do you make it your main job now? About a hundred thousand a year. Okay, so you got you got a big jump there. That's eighty eight thousand dollars You got a fine and brush to cut Yeah, that's a lot Yeah, but if I was doing that full-time Yeah, I can definitely there's a lot of ways to do that around here. So yeah

You're working 40 hours right now in a government gig, right? Yeah So yeah, you're working 40 hours right now in a government gig, right? Yeah Okay, I want you to crank up your side hustle and get it to 50,000 and work all the time where you're just exhausted Because you need more proof-text than $12,000 a year against 100k That's what's making you nervous is that leap in your mind? You can see it happening, but you can't really put I can't see the numbers right now that that's gonna happen. Yeah. Okay, so you need to work like all day Saturday, all Sunday afternoon after church, you need to work every afternoon after you get home and you need to get this to 30, 40, 50

thousand bucks and then that's gonna be a whole lot more comfortable. That may take you six months to jack it up but I want you to Jack it up and treat it like you've gone full time Yeah You home by four Usually yeah, yeah, so this summer dude while you got light let's go crazy. I mean you can get four or five hours in Right yeah, I can I can do that absolutely I I work, you know, 8-10 hours a day. You married? That's no problem. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I mean, because she's going to be less nervous when she sees that the, what we say is don't take a leap and try to jump in the boat, a leap of faith,

pull the boat over closer to the dock and step in and that's what I'm saying. Yeah how are you guys financially Jason? Do you guys have consumer debt savings? Yeah we just got about ten thousand debt be paid off here in the next month or two. Yeah if you can go make seventy or eighty thousand dollars heading towards a heading towards 150 running the running equipment I would go do that But I just want you to prove it to yourself and your wife a little better than 12 grand a year Before you go do it. That's all I'm saying and

And then you're gonna be less nervous about it and you're not gonna be questioning Am I stupid to do this and you'll be going I'll be stupid to not do it so You know one of the things Rachel that's interesting is people say people hate change. People don't hate change. People love change. As long as the change is positive. As long as it's good. I mean when I when I sold my pickup and I bought a Raptor R I love change. was amazing it was a huge upgrade I mean I love change you love change when it goes better right I mean I don't know if you change if you

change jobs I cried I don't like that change that makes me sad but if you change I don't know you cry when you sold your car and so you know no Charles oh but not if you get an... If you get an upgrade, if you get an upgrade, people like change. So if you leave a toxic boss... Okay, yes, yes. At an underpaid job and get a great boss or self-employed and make three times more money, people love change.

Who wouldn't do that? We all love change. When it's for the better, it's change that's uncertain, uncertainty is what we don't like. Yeah. We don't like uncertainty. Or theertainty is what we don't want. Yeah. We don't like uncertain. Or the passage of time.

I don't know. Good Lord. A personal counseling session for you on your child going to school. Everybody loves change. I'm like, oh, do we? No, we do. Do we all love change?

We love change if it's good change. I know. Well, especially in that scenario. And when your child goes off to school and the last one is gone, that is bittersweet, but you don't want them staying at home until they're 40. So it's good that they go. I heard that message loud and clear.

I gotcha. I gotcha. Music Todd is in Virginia. Hey Todd, how are you? Hey Dave, how you doing? Thank you for taking my call. Sure, how can we help? Hey, I am trying to get on the same page with spending with my girlfriend. We just recently, in the past couple months, we did move in together and I've been happy to cover, uh, all the necessity bills, rent, uh, groceries, et cetera. Um,

but as of more recently, I have not been able to get on the same page. I have her, she has a card of mine that she uses for groceries expenses, but I've noticed a lot of charges that I can't keep up with. And I brought it to her attention. And every time I do, we get into a fight. So I need, I'm just calling, how, what am I doing wrong? How can I get on the same page? Does she work?

Yes. So she works and she makes a decent amount as well. She has some other debts that she's paying. She has some student loans. She has her car payment. I don't have any debt aside from the debt that would be spent on that car that she uses that I brought up to her attention. And what does she say when you bring it up? You say, wait, we keep getting in a fight about it. What's like the dialogue? What's being said? So for example, at the end of this past month, there was $1,900 in between Target and shopping. And she's not shopping necessarily personal buying shoes and bags. It's expenses that are for, you know, home and decoration, but it's, it's career. Correct. For, you know, for,

not for a wrong cause or anything, but it's charges that I can see the bottom of the barrel coming very quickly. If this continues. I'm 23. How old is she? She's 23 as well. And what do you make? So I make, I work at hourly construction job and I make somewhere between 60 and 70 a year. I also do have a side business that is starting, that I'm starting to finally see some income

from there too. It's not consistent because it's still in the early phases. You seem like such a level headed wise smart young guy until we start talking about her. And then suddenly like all of your common sense left. Yeah. I mean because you're sitting here explaining to me something that's absolutely asinine and and you I mean you're the kind of guy that normally would have just said, wait a minute, just give me the card back, this doesn't work. Why haven't you done that?

So it's not that I haven't, it's that I don't mind. Take the card back. Tonight. This is going nowhere, good. Todd, the problem is you guys are acting like you're a married couple. You know what I mean? Like you're acting like, oh yeah, we are one in our lives and we're doing this life together. No, you're not. Like financially, this is not a combined venture. You gave your roommate a credit card and your roommate has a spending problem. Yeah. That's what

I'm saying and that's what Rachel's saying. Now if you're her husband now we got a different discussion now we're in marriage counseling and we get on the same page and honey we can't spend money like we're in Congress and we start having these discussions okay but yeah.'s not your wife but you just gave your room I mean just change pretend like you weren't sleeping with her and it was just your roommate and you just gave your buddy who's living down the hall in another bedroom your card and then he went hog wild at freaking Target you know you'd be going no or Bass Pro just yeah whatever I don't care but I

mean you'd be going man man, I must be, that was a bad move, I want my card back. Right? Because that's the situation you're in. Almost $2,000 a month, Todd. Like, that's a lot. It's not like you're like, oh gosh, you spent $50, like.

Yeah, it was 1,700 last month and I said something then. Todd. And we got an argument and then it was 19 this month. Okay, well let me help you with this, it's 1700 last month and I said something then. Oh my God, Todd! And we got an argument and then it was 19 this month. Okay, well let me help you with this, it's going the wrong way. Yeah. I guess my problem is, is I see,

I see so many characteristics of her that are marriage material and so I try to overlook this problem and try and compromise and make it work. No. But every time I say something, we get an argument. No, you have to take the card back and then we have to start the relationship over and the relationship starts with

the two of us have to get on the same page about how we are gonna handle money before we talk about marriage. And a real good way to do that is not be living together because when you're living together, you're trying to work, you're trying to play like you're married but you're not. It's like one foot in the boat, one knot

and all you do is getting wet in this lake. I mean the boat leaves and there you go. So, you know, and so it's just, it's a problem. So, and I don't think your guys, I don't think you two, you're not describing a situation where you're ready to get married. Yeah. That's kind of the answer I'm coming to. Yeah. And know this Todd, you know, I'm sure she does have marriage material and all of that, and not that certain subjects can't be agreed upon and seeing shared values and actually working towards reconciliation of us actually seeing life the same way.

But there's big issues that have been studied and shown that cause divorce. And money is always in that top three. So I don't know, I heard this example once, I thought it was funny. They were like, you know, if they're like, okay, the top three ways that you could die from here to walking to your car are bears. And bears are one of the three ways

that people die from walking from inside to their car. We'd all probably know about bears and be thinking about bears and probably have bear spray and be armed against bears and be aware. So if it's a major red flag in a relationship towards marriage, like it should be a big deal. Like this is a big red flag, Todd.

Like you keep saying, you know what I mean? Like the attitude is like, well, it's just this. It may not be a big deal. And what we're saying is for a romantic relationship, for it to go further and you guys get married, I, it's not that I don't have hope that you guys could create shared values and actually start as grownups talking about reality

that we can't spend more than we make. And in reality, here's what this looks like for our life. You could do that, I hope you can. But if you can't reconcile this, again, it is a big red flag big red flag for marriage so it starts really important so the conversation if I'm you it sounds at a minimum it sounds like this tonight we sit down we say hey I made a mistake I'm sorry the mistake I made was I started treating a situation

like we're married financially and we're not and so we need to keep our money completely separate if we're gonna stay in the same house and we've got to start if we want the relationship to go forward we've got to start talking about how we can be on the same page about money in the meantime give me my card back because we're not we're gonna separate our money again because this is complicating our relationship. It's not helping it. I thought I was doing a nice thing by providing and I made a mistake. I goofed. And so I've, I've got it. We've got to separate the stuff so that we can come back to sanity and start a

fresh discussion like two grownups about how we can move this relationship forward. And it can't be that we're sharing money and a bed when we're not married. Those two, it just doesn't work. The data is in, it's not a moral judgment, although I can pitch that to you too, if you want it. But the, uh, but, but what it is, is the data is in, this does not go where you guys want it to go. There's there's research project after research project after research project.

And we now know for sure that marriage is a huge advantage over singles living together. We see the health is improved to both partners. The sex life is improved to both partners, the sex life is improved to both partners, the wealth is 15 times higher for a married 35 year old couple than a single female. 15 times higher net worth. That's actual data, okay, from research projects. Married men live six to nine years longer than unmarried men. Apparently women keep us from doing stupid stuff. I don't know.

But are you gonna eat that? Yes. No, you're not. You're married. I don't want you to die. I don't know what it is, but something married men live longer. Married men make 26% higher incomes

at 37 years old than unmarried men. Interesting. And that includes unmarried men shacking up acting like they're married. You make 26% more if you actually put a ring on it. Hello. So, I mean, this is real, you guys. And you guys have been told a lie out there that, oh, I'm going to try on the shoes before I buy them and make sure they fit

that's a lie it doesn't it the data doesn't pay off on this it doesn't work I'm sorry if that offends some of you will get in line of people that they've been just pissed off in the last 30 years it's a long line Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, number one bestselling author, host of the Rachel Cruz show and Ramsey personality. My daughter is my co-host today. Jake is in Phoenix, Arizona. Hi Jake, how are you? Hi Dave, I'm well thank you. Sure, what's up? Hey look I'm a legal immigrant, I'm a green card holder in the United States.

My wife is a United States resident. We're looking to purchase our first home. And after speaking to a mortgage broker, because I have no credit history or credit score to speak of, he's essentially told us that I cannot go on the loan and it's going to have to be my wife by herself to go on the loan, which brings our borrowing power much less than we would we hoped it would be which which brings the quality of the home that we were hoping to put our family into into a much lower quality home. What is uh what is your wife's credit score? I believe she has about a 750 at the moment. Okay. Wow. Okay. Here, there's three, there's a couple of variables here I don't know the

answer to. One variable though is that I don't have the answer I want if I'm you, so I'm going to keep pushing, which is what you're doing by calling here. Good for you. Okay? Yes sir. going to keep pushing which is what you're doing by calling here good for you okay so number one in general if a couple is going to go buy a house there's two ends of the spectrum you want to be on you don't want to be in the middle you want to have a high credit score like your wife does or no

credit score like you do if you have no credit score you can do what's called manual underwriting which is like George Camel and his wife Whitney bought a no credit score like you do. If you have no credit score you can do what's called manual underwriting which is like George Camel and his wife Whitney bought a house with no credit score, same interest rate, both of their incomes counted toward buying the house to get the mortgage, okay, their first home that they ever bought. As an example, Jade Warshell also has done that, okay. So Ramsey personalities have actually done it it human beings do it all the time but you have to have a mortgage broker that knows what they're doing because manual underwriting is where

they actually manually check and verify your income with your employment they manually check and verify your deposit for your down payment they manually check to see that the bills were paid to the landlord that has your name on the lease and when they do all that they establish that you can pay bills. Okay? Understood. And that's how the mortgages used to be done in the 70s and 80s until the FICO score took over. Now FICO scores, mortgage brokers sometimes are just like a monkey they look at the number and go, whoo-hoo number big or whoo-hoo number not. And that's the only way they can make a loan.

They're just dumber than a rock. Okay, so, but you really look at the actual human being and figure out what's going on. Now, I don't know how to do that where one of you has no credit score and the other one has a big one. I don't know the combination of that. That's the one piece of, or one of the two variables I'm not sure about in your situation and I have no idea how this green card thing plays into it that's the second

thing I don't know okay but I do know this I do know that Churchill mortgage that we have endorsed on the show for 30 years they're friends of mine if you will call Churchill mortgage and talk to them they will work that you know teach tell them I've got to have some help I talked to Dave on the air he said to call and they'll explain to you in detail what you're facing it might be

that because one of you have a credit score and the other one doesn't that the manual underwriting for you can't be combined with her high credit score you see what I'm saying I don't know if you can do that or with her high credit score. You see what I'm saying? I don't know if you can do that or not. I've never tried to do that. I've always done it where both people were married and neither of them had a score or both people were married and they both had a

good score. Okay now so and again I have no idea you're Australian or UK what is it? What's the accent? I'm from New Zealand New Zealand, okay. All right. Yeah, and so Missed it all the way around. But yeah, so you're close with Australia. Yeah aiming in the general direction of the globe, but yeah, anyway the Yeah, so I don't know how that stuff works

My pastor is Australian and He has a house and he's married to an American. He does have citizenship today but yeah but he comes, so anyway that's a good point. But Jake too, you know when you guys go and and dice this out you know one of you being on the mortgage. It's not gonna work. They can't count both incomes is the problem with that and you gotta have You need both incomes to count to be able to get the home that you're looking at and that's a valid It's a valid request because you legitimately both have the income And with a green card, you're allowed to have an income. I do know that okay, so, you know, you're not it's not like Are you guys as your wife out of debt? No, we were out of debt. We're on baby step three.

So we just managed to get, you got a house now. Oh yeah. Do you have a mortgage now? We do have a mortgage. It's my wife's home. We're in Phoenix. We put that time on the market. Sure. Cause that'll keep it. I was say I was gonna say let it go to zero Let her go to zero, but it's not going to as long. She's got an open account. Yeah Yeah, and so she's gonna have an open account long She owns that house and you don't need to sell that house just to do this So I don't know the answer to those two questions But if I were in your shoes, I would go to I'm not gonna take one mortgage brokers

Opinion I'm gonna go get I'm gonna keep's opinion. I'm going to go get, I'm going to keep asking somebody, do I get the answer I want? Sure. Until I learn enough about it to figure out how to somehow game this system because it's an unreasonable, I'm with you, not counting your income is unreasonable. Yeah, yeah.

And so I'm not going to accept an unreasonable answer because it's not logical. The point is your income is there and it can be used to pay the freaking bill. So the mortgage company is not counting that and for some reason or another is just bureaucratic bull crap. Yeah. So I'm going to find some way to work around it. I will tell you another way.

Try Churchill and if you can't get this figured out with them, you probably can. I think they'll solve it. But the other thing you can do is go to someone like Fairwinds Credit Union, our other, one of our other advertisers, and they portfolio the loans, meaning they keep the loan in house. And if they're going to keep the loan in house, that means they make up the rules. And they can just look at it and decide, we gonna count it because this guy's reliable we're gonna we're gonna do manual underwriting on him and we're gonna look at her credit score and we're gonna count it yeah and they can just decide to do that because they're

the what they're trying to do is to meet what's called conforming lending guidelines so they can resell the loan brokers don't keep the loans they resell the loan and in order for the loan to be marketable when they resell it loan. Brokers don't keep the loans. They resell the loan and in order for the loan to be marketable when they resell it, it has to meet these guidelines and your guy can't figure out how to meet the guidelines in your situation. Churchill may be able to figure it out but if neither one of them can go to a place that portfolios meaning they keep the loan they're not selling the loan. So whatever guidelines they're comfortable with they can just

do it because the loan is going to be on the books at the credit union. Yeah, that's a great point. And that one will work as well. That's another way to get at this. Wow. Interesting. Interesting. I've never run into that. Yeah. Well, it's always a, it's such a frustrating thing because it creates these hurdles, which is true when you don't live with debt and you don't have a credit score. There are going to be some of these hurdles that you run into. When you don't live with debt and you don't have a credit score, there are gonna be some of these hurdles that you run into.

You can mostly always get past them. He might just have not been in the country long enough to establish a credit score. Well, with the green cost. Yeah, yeah. Wow. But you guys keep on the track though, cause I think the mindset that you guys are in

sounds like a good stable place. So don't go off the reservation and do something crazy just to get this house. Yeah I need this house so I'm gonna take a 14% interest rate. Nope, nope we'll pass. We're gonna work on a different way. Another way to skin this cat. This is the Ramsey Show. Buying or selling your home is a big deal and between clickbait headlines and confusing data, it's tough to know what's actually going on in the housing market.

Well, we're here to make the latest trends easy to understand. Median home prices went up slightly last month, about $430,000 is the median home price in America today. There's more homes on the market right now, nearly a million for sale, the highest since 2019. right now nearly a million for sale the highest since 2019 but in many areas are still not enough to meet demand there's still more buyers than sellers average fixed-rate loans now 5.9 percent on a 15 year and it's still under 6 so there you go so if you're financially ready it's good time to buy really good time to

sell you know to learn more about the housing market trends and Buy or sell with confidence go to Ramsey solutions dot-com slash market or click the link in the show notes Billy's in Kansas City. Hey Billy. How are you? Hi doing good. Thanks for taking my call sure how can I help? Yeah, I am 30 years old and I work as a retail manager making about 45,000 years. I have about $35,000 in debt. And, uh, my question is, is I've watched your show for a long time and I know about the snowball and I kind of know the steps to get out of it, but I have

really bad OCD and I can't, I don't use my Kitchen at home. So I spend a lot of money on pre-made meals and going out to eat And I was trying to see if there's any way you could give me a budget of how to get out of that While maybe keeping a small budget so I could keep buying pre-made meals Okay, I'm a little bit, um, I'm not a, Dr. John Delaney is not here. So I don't know how, I don't understand how OCD keeps you from cooking your meal. Matter of fact, it ought to make you good at it. Like following a recipe. Exactly.

Right. It just like, it's a contamination problem and I I have started going to therapy for it and, and I, Oh, you're worried about germs. Yeah. I got the germs thing and, um, so I'm, I'm going to therapy for it, but I want to start, and I know I'll get there eventually, but I want to start my debt. I want to start getting out of debt now. So my question is, is there any way I can make a budget where I can keep buying meals out or ordering like factor meals, stuff like that, and, and start getting out of debt.

Well, you know, Billy, looking at your numbers, regardless of the OCD and the meal prep, you know, the whole thing, I would tell you, regardless of it, of all of that, your income, it's gotta go up, right? If you have $45,000 coming in, and that's before taxes, and you have $35,000 in debt, there's gonna be- We need to increase your income 20 grand on a side hustle. What is the 35,000 in debt?

What does that consist of? Well, I have $20,000 In a car, okay, and then I have about $12,000 in like unsecured past debt that are uh That are all going to collections. Okay, and it's from a long time ago I don't really have anything that's current besides my car. Okay, how much is your car worth today, do you think?

The car is probably worth 15,000. Okay. I owe 20 is the payoff amount. Yeah, do you? But it's a really high interest, so it's like 36,000. Yeah, do you have any money saved, Billy? 500. 500, okay.

So if I were you, because how much is your car payment a month? 500. 500. Okay. So if I were you, cause how much is your car payment a month? 500. Yeah. So I would be looking to unload this car ASAP, meaning try, you're going to have to get, you're going to have to get some money to shore it up and you know, some cash available to buy, to buy a crappy car. But that's what I would be working towards because I think when that $500 is freed up, it's gonna give you a little bit more wiggle room and what you're needing. And then in addition, as you continue to work more,

be able to pay off this 12,000 in the unsecured debt that's going to collections, which if it's going to collections, you could probably settle as well. So I think that there's way out for you. It's just that upping the income is going to be the problem. For me it's not the pre-made meals. I mean I think increasing your income and getting rid of the car are like a nine out of a scale of ten. You eating out or buying pre-packaged meals is a 2 on a scale of 10. Okay.

On addressing that problem. I do ride sharing as well. A little bit on the side I can do ride sharing to make extra money. Okay. All right. I don't care. Yeah, that's good. Whatever we can do to create some extra income, some kind of side hustle is necessary here. And to begin to look long term about what we can do with your overall career track to get you moving up in income long term.

You know so but the good news is I'll tell you the most positive thing in the whole conversation is you recognize very clearly the problem and you're aggressively served, uh, searching for some answers to fix the problem. You're not in denial. You're not arguing. You're just trying to figure this out. And that's the kind of people that we talked to that six months later have made dramatic, wonderful changes and been, and set themselves free. So I really, really feel good about where you're going because of where you're standing today. The way you the

way your eyes are focused today. Okay? And I don't know beans about this but it's just interesting to me talking to you about the other stuff. I want you to talk to your therapist about the possibility that you can create a cleaner environment by cooking yourself, then probably those meals were cooked in. Okay. And kind of using that as part of a your therapy process, because in listening and sitting beside Dr. John for these

last several years, one of the things that some of the therapists will recommend, and he does, is to actually embrace and walk straight into the fearful thing and you know to start to work through it and exposure therapy exposure therapy so that that's kind of what I'm thinking here but I think there's a way if I'm concerned about germs and that's a fair concern by the way I might be more worried about germs at the restaurant that prepared the meal than I would be in my own kitchen where I can control the environment. Okay. That might be an interesting way to do some mental gymnastics with your therapist's help

to begin to move that direction. But again, if you start preparing meals at home and don't go out to eat and you keep the car and you don't increase your income. You're gonna major problems, dude Eating out thing is not your problem Yeah Okay, you can put that in the budget if you do the other two things and you can work through it So I'm just interested in the discussion from an exposure therapy standpoint that way But I know nothing about it other than I know the phrase that's about it and the concept but um

so but you talk to the professionals about that in the meantime sell your car and get an extra job yeah yeah all of that exposure theory we all that's for just your own health Billy right I mean that's not really the the key of getting out of debt here we say cut out restaurants and all that because usually we're talking to a couple or people with kids and you go and drop seven. We're spending $3,000 a month on restaurants. Right, right.

And so by you getting pre-packaged meals or something, like that's not gonna bust your budget, but this car and upping your income is big. And Billy, if you go on ramsysolutions.com and just type in side hustles, we've done so many articles recently, written articles about this subject because even doing some of the every dollar webinars

that we have done, the amount of money people make is wild. One lady, she's making close to a thousand dollars, you ready for this, every two weeks by doing laundry for people and folding it. That's her side hustle. So she's making almost two grand a month by doing that. And you're just like, man, that's $24,000 a year. That's impressive.

Impressive, and that's her side hustle. But I'm saying- Like rich people, I mean who does this? I don't know, but I was watching her because she had a video and I was like, it's like pristine, it's beautiful. Oh my gosh. She's like a professional laundry folder.

She does it at night, it's like her side hustle, but she does it for people, so people don't have to do their own laundry. Oh, so she picks up a bag, takes back everything folded and on hangers. But almost $1,000 every two weeks is what she's making. So, yeah, it's crazy. So all that to say,

Billy, there's some really creative side hustles. You know what? Go to ramsesolutions.com, because we've got a lot. It sounds like a joke, but it's not. If you're OCD, you'd be really good at that. You would fold that perfectly. That would be awesome. And it's a kind of funny thing but it's also true. I think that's a good idea. That would be amazing. Yeah, that's good. I like that. You're okay Rachel. You're going to live.

This is the Ramsey Show. If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck and you're wondering where your money's going, your first step is getting on a plan. See, you don't win on accident, you win with a plan. That's called a budget in our world. The team is hosting a free budget trainings this month, several of them. You'll learn step by step how to make and stick to a budget using the EveryDollar app, the world's best budgeting app. Plus you can get your biggest budgeting questions answered in a live Q and A.

It's completely free. Sign up for free at everydollar.com slash webinar. Brady's in Boise. Hi Brady. Welcome to the Ramsey show. Hey Dave Virgil, thanks for taking my call. Sure, what's up? Hey my wife and I, we've done pretty well, been married about a year and a half, saved up a down payment for a house, we've got about

a hundred and ten thousand dollars. Wow! We're really wanting to, yeah, we're really wanting to follow you guys' plan with a 15 year mortgage. But the average house price here, just based off our incomes, we're going to be a little bit over that 25% mark on a 15 year. And I heard George mentioned it on a episode the other day where he said it's kind of a guideline and just kind of give you context. We spend about six to $7,000 a month. Our total salaries is 210, but our total take home was 275 last year.

And just kind of what we're looking at, I'm trying to determine if that 25% mark is flexible. And yeah, we save about five to six thousand a month and that's with rent of about what will the what will it be at what percentage the interest rate or what is the percentage of your take-home pay not counting 401k and not counting health insurance coming out of your check income percentage of that is your payment gonna be? That's we're looking at like 37 percent right now. Bull crap. That's dumber than a rock.

No, that's not that's not a guideline. That's running your car through a wall. Yeah. It's not even close. I think I was actually on the show with George when we were talking about this because we I think we were talking to somebody and I remember he was moving actually looking in Williamson County if this is the same call Brady I don't know if it was and he was right at like twenty six point two percent or something and that's what we were like. I'm not gonna grab about that. Thirty seven percent dude. You're gonna you're gonna be house poor you're gonna be strapped you're not gonna be able to breathe so okay Boise is not double the national average. You're looking in a neighborhood you can't afford.

The median house price in America today is $431,000. Boise would be pretty close to right up the middle of that. So the median house price in that area is a half million dollars and you're looking at a million dollar property. We're looking at five 50. Um, total monthly payment is $4,000 a month with 110 down. I'm doing something wrong. Wait a minute. There's something wrong with this formula. Okay, so $275,000 and so that's $20,000 a month take-home pay, right?

Our take-homes, I just based off salary. That's what my wife and I decided was two hundred and ten thousand You get to decide it's your income What if you were what if you were on straight commission and you made four hundred thousand? But I want to base it off my salary. Well, then you'd be living in a teepee So now we look at our income dude is you're not is your income not stable No, it comes pretty stable. Okay, so you have a turn your income not stable no income's pretty stable okay so you have a 275,000 our income no he said 210 now he said 210 plus bonuses 275 okay that's his income so that's a $20,000 a month take-home pay which is a $5,000 a month payment that you can afford on 15-year fixed, right? Am I doing this wrong?

Yeah, no I think I was doing my math wrong then Dave. I was looking at our 210 and you know netting out our giving and obviously... No, your giving is not one of the things. And retirement as well. Add that back in. Yeah. So it's really just after taxes. It's your after tax income monthly divided by four, giving you a 25% on a 15 year fixed

and 15 year fixed this week are 5.9%. And I will say the phrasing take home pay can be confusing because you're thinking what hits your account and already insurance 401k, all of that's taken out before it hits your account. So quote unquote take home pay just means after tax. Yeah, that's the misnomer here here but point being is that if it's so I think that's gonna when you rework the numbers with those two different things

should come changes I think you're gonna be real close yeah it sounds like we were just way being way too conservative. Accidentally because you were taking out 401k and other stuff and then on purpose on the 210 versus the 275 yeah yeah yeah yeah so you have more wiggle room yeah so I mean and so what what were the purpose of the whole discussion though is this don't get yourself all of you out there in America in a position where you're what we call house poor that by the time you pay your house payment and you buy food, you're broke. Which means everything that comes up in your life is probably going to turn into new debt unless you're very strong because you're not saving for car replacement.

You're not saving for the next couch. You're not saving for Christmas. You're not saving for vacation. And all these things turn into new debt because you've got no margin in your monthly budget because you spent it all on your stinking house. When you put yourself in a corner and make yourself house poor

is what we're trying to prevent for you because it's not a sustainable thing. You can't sustain that for 10 years. So you call me up and you, of your take-home pay after taxes, you got 40 or 37% going to your house payment. You're not going to be able to survive doing that. That's going to come back and bite you in the butt because you set yourself up to be house poor because that's a lot of money. And you took away all the margin to do other stuff

that you are going to do. And then it's gonna end up being new debt, or it's gonna end up being a strain, or it's gonna end up, you know, we don't keep up with maintenance, because we're out of money all the time. And that's all we're trying to prevent with this. We don't have any pride in the actual 25% number.

It's just a math thing. need some what we call what economists called disposable income after you pay your house payment So that you can do other stuff in life. Yes, that's what that's all we're trying to get to here. Yeah, and so Yeah, Brady. I think you're okay when you get down into this and you unpack this because I Then I was doing it quick in my head, but I think you're pretty close and you're probably gonna be fine. But let's just talk through it. And the over arching principle is not 25 versus 26%.

Right. To George's point of it being a quote unquote guideline. But the overarching principle is don't get yourself in a position where you can't breathe because you got house fever. And instead of taking a cold shower, you went and bought something and you paint yourself in the corner,

the proverbial, you get wet paint on your feet because you're stuck in the corner and everything's wet. You just painted, you created a life that is not sustainable without creating a mess. Yeah, and we always go back to this principle and idea. The whole reason for all of this, right? The whole reason of being wise with your money, of taking control of budgeting,

having smart percentages, with where you're allocating things, it's to create peace. That money is one place in our lives that can create so much chaos, and we're trying to avoid that. How can we let this part of our lives, our money, have peace in our lives,

and it not be this stress point? And so always remember that. When you're looking at buying big things, whether it's a new car or a house, is this gonna create peace for us, or is this gonna create more stress and anxiety? And that's what we're trying to avoid. So that's, again, the heart behind it,

but always remember that. We're looking for peace. We want peace in life. We don't want to be stressed and full of anxiety. So how do we do that with our money? That's good. That's good. Dr. John talks about that and you know, the redefining anxiety, you know, solve for peace. Yes. Solve for peace. And that's what we're doing. And if we're solving for peace. Yeah. And if Brady's numbers were more like what we were talking about at the beginning, as we were wrong, then drive 20 more minutes to go get a house to keep peace. Like, you know what I mean? Like whatever that means that you have to do, it is it is worth it.

It is worth it for your soul as a human in this life to have that peace. It is worth it. Are you staying on track with the baby steps? If you want to take a quick quiz to check your progress and receive a personalized plan, head to the show notes, click the link titled, Are you on track with the baby steps? Complete the free quiz and we'll help you get a personalized plan and get you going. Jessica is in Lancaster. Hi, uh, Lancaster. Hey Jessica, what's up? I was just wondering how do you blend the finances or how do you do finances with a blended family

especially when you don't have children together? The short backstory, he has two kids from previous marriage and 50-50 custody. I have one and have sole custody and trying to figure out finances. Okay and so those are all all three minors? Yes. Otherwise custody doesn't come up obviously okay and how Uh, 12, 10, and 7. Okay. And is there, um, uh, child support payments on either end that paying out or coming in? Yeah. So he pays about 400 in child support and I receive, and I have sole custody.

I receive about a hundred monthly, each of us monthly. Okay. Okay. I don't, I don't think there's any difference I think you have three kids to raise and you just you just run your household and both of you love three children because you love each other and so you're gonna love each other's children. Right and I get for me it was like financial security for mine since their mom works too so they have financial support on both ends and I think I got stuck because I was like I in the only one financially in a

sense responsible for mine. No not now because you married a man who's responsible who took on the responsibility of you and this child. Not legally maybe, there probably wasn't an adoption, but if I'm that husband and I marry you, that child, I'm bound to take care of them, just like I'm bound to take care of my two. That's what he took on, I think from a social standpoint, a relational standpoint, that's the proper thing. And you don't have Cinderella. We don't have one kid that gets more child support than the other two, and so they get more or less money or something. Like, oh, you don't get as much child support, so you have to wear the worn out tennis shoes. No,

we're not doing that. Right. We all get the same stuff. We all go to the same trips. We all go to the same restaurants. We all go to the same schools. You know, the ones that we can afford, you know, in all cases, right? As a family unit. And yeah, I think that's the most healthy way to treat this. And it's, it's, um, and I wonder too, Jessica, I mean, I don't have a blended family, so I don't know. But I would even think that his kids that have 50, 50 custody, you you know you guys will be paying half really for them expenses wise right when they're with you half the month you have them but

then the other half you don't have them so you're not paying when they're not there right for eating and all that kind of stuff too so. It's gonna work out but I mean you just have a grocery budget for this family that has two part-time kids and one full-time kid, right? You know, yes, and that's how I would look at it mathematically Is there anything specific Jessica that y'all keep running into or is it just more conceptually like you just a conceptual question? I guess a little of both because like right now we have I have a checking account He has a checking account and then we have a joint shared account that we pay all the bills out of, and he wanted everything to go into that

account, and I was like, well I kind of, again part of this was just already having the checking account in existence, wanted to maintain it because that's where I pay like my car out of and such things, and I think for maybe ease he wanted everything into one. He now took on your car. He took on you, your car, your kid. You took on his two kids. You took on whatever good and bad he took on, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.

In the old book of common prayer marriage vows said, unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge. In other words we're all in. And that was the viewpoint on that. It doesn't sound like either one of you have existing extreme wealth and the other one doesn't. It sounds like both of you just have, you got some scars from how you got here and it makes you a little bit

a little bit tender on wanting to maintain some individuality, so to speak. Right, that makes sense. Yeah, but I think it's gonna- Do y'all do a budget together, Jessica, with both incomes? I'm just curious. We had like a rough estimate, but we're still trying to like, okay, you know what an interesting, uh, exercise for you guys would be?

It's kind of a nerdy one. So like have a glass of wine and enjoy it because this is number heavy, but sit down and just say, okay, what if we took this philosophy, not just tactically, we're sharing one account, like what he's saying, but even emotionally and like, let's put all the expenses, right? You said, well, I pay for my car over here. Put it in the middle, put it, everything goes in the middle of the pot and let's do a budget with both incomes in there, both sets of kids, like all of it, right? Both of us have a vote. Both of us have full transparency.

And let's create that budget, see what that looks like monthly. And then Jessica, I mean, honestly, and then dream a little and just say, hey, in five years, in 2030, how old will the kids be? What do we want our life to look like? And what are some fun goals? And how could we get there together? And again, mathematically, looking at the numbers of it, start just like running some rough estimates and numbers,

because I think it's more exciting, and you may find it exciting hopefully you do When you actually see some stuff, you know being put together and you're like, oh we can get ahead So much faster when we like when we really do tactically work together, but then emotionally like there's something about it. That's so uniting And again, I understand the second marriages. There's some hesitation with this for a lot of people. But what that requires is a sensitivity to that and that sensitivity is answered by extreme amounts of communication and extreme amounts of both of you have a vote on purchases, both

of you have a vote on the monthly budget and both of you speak up. Yes. And as long as your voice counts and you have full transparency, then that's a way to touch, to deal with that sensitive issue. A weird thing is in our life, we don't have that, Sharon and I don't, but having gone broke, I'll tell you what a sensitive issue is at our house, the emergency fund.

If I even walk near the drawer, if I even walk near the drawer where the emergency fund is, she comes out of her with claws. She can't, because it's a sensitive thing because we were broken. She was terrified. Or if you want to go buy something big and she's like, how much is it? Yeah, like, you know, just double checking. Exactly. Yeah. And so, you know, but, and so what we do is we offset that sensitive thing

by having an emergency fund for the emergency fund at our house. Most people don't need to do that. But because we got that scar here, we have to figure that out. We're gonna pat around that, and that's fine. So you work around it, and for you guys, you just say, hey, because we both come into this

and we had bad experiences before, we have to be super diligent about our communication and our transparency and both of us having a voice. Yes, and you both coming from similar situations, maybe the cause of it is different, but that is built in empathy, right? You're both coming from situations. So that's the positive.

Well, we talked to some people and they marry someone who was divorced and they don't trust them now. It's like this whole thing. So hopefully there's some of that empathy. But I really would Jessica, sit down together and you guys just put it all in one pile because there's just something about it that I think can be very energizing

where a lot of people feel a lot of fear around that and like a lot of caution, which is understandable. But once you just pretend, you're like, we're not really doing it right now. Let's just pretend and have fun and like take out a sheet paper and just start figuring this out. Like there's something about it that is really uniting.

And you can see how fast you guys can move together. And that's the other big thing couples miss out on. That's one of the biggest arguments is we feel like, well, we just have separate accounts completely. And you lose the synergy. Yeah, there's just something that's like, you're just gonna go at a certain pace your whole life financially with that mindset.

And so there's something really powerful about it. But I think it's a fair question and we get, yeah. I mean, the blended family thing is real. And even, you know, if there's people coming in with, I know we've got a question, I know, it's probably been a few weeks, but you know, she came into the marriage with a lot of land from her family and she, you know, she like, the marriage with a lot of lands from her family and she,

you know, she, like, she's like, if something happens to this second marriage, do they get the land? His cat or like, there's, there's just some, there can be some complex, even a state planning stuff when this occurs, but it doesn't sound like you're there, Jessica, but just, um, those are real problems. So if you guys have them, we, we see that and hear that. This is the Ramsey Show. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions,

it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, number one best-selling author, Ramsey personality, my daughter is my co-host today. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Elena is in San Diego. Hi Elena, how are you? Hi I'm doing good, how are you doing better than I deserve what's up so my husband bought a car about two weeks ago and whoa he did it without telling me and whoa it's not exactly a car that we need or can afford well so I'm wanting to sell it and he wants to keep it so I'm calling this And if we should sell it don't think the car is the problem

Yeah There's a lot of other crap going on at your house isn't there yeah, there is yeah I'm sorry, honey. Um, I Mean that's like an adult temper tantrum. Yeah. And then you had one too. Understandably so. Understandably. What's going on, Elena, just in general. Um, well we've, we've been having some other issues not with money stuff and

the reason for the purchase in the first place was because I ended up going to stay with my parents for a couple weeks and he was mad that I did that and that's why he bought the car and like I said it's a temper tantrum yeah yeah so now we're back I'm back home and we're trying to dig ourselves out of this massive hole basically yeah and he bet we still know we aren't you are yeah if he said i'm in a massive hole because i bought a car on a revenge purchase that i can't afford to piss my wife off because she went to her mother's and i want to get out of this mess he would have been calling me going i'm selling my car. He doesn't want to get out of the mess. He kind of likes it.

Yeah. Yeah, so we've still got the problem. The car is the symptom of what's going on in your marriage. The car is a symptom of you all not being aligned and in agreement on where we're going and not selling the car is the symptom of you all still are not aligned am I wrong mm-hmm no yeah okay so are you guys seeing a marriage counselor we haven't yet but I'm in touch I'm in contact with one okay is he willing to go to that? Yes. Okay, so when you can agree on your

spending, it's a big deal because it means you've agreed on a whole bunch of other things simultaneously. And when you can agree on large purchase decisions or selling decisions, it's a big deal with your marriage counselor because it means you've agreed on a bunch of other things. So the tactical correct answer is yes, we would sell a car that we bought that we can't afford regardless of how we got there. We can't afford the car. It doesn't make sense. You said that. I don't even know the numbers, but if that's the true case, then that's the true case, right? Yeah, well it's, he thinks that we can afford it because of the monthly payment, but I just don't, I don't like

debt, and I don't, I'm trying to stay away from it, but that's part of where the disconnect is. Yes, so the other thing is this, and again I think you guys need to talk to your marriage counselor about this, but if I'm in your shoes, every time I look out in the driveway and I see that car, it reminds me of this moment in time when things were the worst. I don't want that memory around. Yeah. And that it's the you know center point of the picture of where you guys are at right of just this pain. Yeah. Yeah and I and I I I wonder and my hope is if you guys get into some really great counseling, what's going to come out hopefully is healing with your marriage where you guys can respect each other,

you take care of each other, you care what the other person thinks and feels and you work together as a team, like all of that. And when that is the basis at which you are living with your spouse and that's how you guys see life, then this truck should be a no-brainer to him at that point of saying, okay, to take care of my wife and respect what she wants in life and all of this, like I'm going to selflessly give up what I want. And sometimes that's what we do in marriage

and a healthy marriage, right? There's like that give and take. And that's the big missing piece. That's why the symptom, what Dave said earlier is so true that because there's not mutual respect, you're not hearing each other. He's not caring for you from this perspective. I'm sure if we talk to him, he has a different story.

I don't know, but those are the missing elements, Elena, of a healthy marriage. And when those get in place- The truck's gone. Or the car is gone. Whatever it is. What was it? Yeah, the money stuff really starts to- How much was the car? It was 35,000.

He put 8,000 down. And we have a $27,000 loan. Okay. And what kind of car is it? 2016 Chevy Camaro. Okay, and you have children? Yeah, we have one eight month old. Okay, yeah, which Camaros are real big for babies. That's just awesome. Yeah, this is truly a temper tantrum purchase. Did something, yeah, and we don't, this is like proving something. The actual car itself, he was proving purchase. Did something, yeah, and we don't, I guess. This is like proving something. The actual car itself, he was proving something.

Did an event, a major event happen, Alaina, that caused you to go to your mom's, or has it just been like a deteriorating marriage situation in general? Yeah. Okay, something happened. Yeah, we had, yeah. Infidelity?

No. Oh, okay. Okay. Well. There's a revenge factor for this that's what it sounds like looking in from the outside So was it on your end or his end? Um his end and we are working through those problems. Okay And he was just pissed that you that you were calling about just like the car

Yeah, I know but but the problem is, is the car is not the thing. So we have to go to the other to give you a proper answer. Yes, sell the car. So the proper answer is yes, sell the car, because the car should have not been purchased. But that's not going to fix what's going on. They caused the car, and this is gonna reoccur. And the marriage is gonna continue to deteriorate.

Central, yes, these. So you have to get down under this and get the roots pulled out on these weeds or they're coming back. Because the tantrums and the patterns at which you guys live don't go away unless you fix them. So the tantrum could come out some other way. But right now it came out as a new Camaro.

I took him as a truck guy. I don't know why. Stereotypically, I thought he got a truck. I don't know why, stereotypically. Thought he got a truck. I don't know why. Hey. That's what I pictured in my head. Winston drives a truck, I drive a truck. It's true, I know.

Why is he a truck guy? I don't know. You don't understand. I don't know. Why is a truck guy associated with a temper? I guess not from San Diego though. That was probably, that wasn't the right stereotype. If you're gonna have a tantrum,

a Camaro's not a bad one to have. It's a pretty good tantrum. My gosh. Elena, I'm sorry. I pray you guys get some good counseling though for your sake of just your marriage, healing your marriage and then the symptom of all this that we're talking about. And then sell the car. This is The Ramsey Show.

Big news. Another chance to get away with your spouse the money and marriage getaway is back for Valentine's Day next spring next winter what do we call that so it's been three incredible days in Nashville learning the tools to strengthen your connection deepen your intimacy Dr. John Deloney and Rachel Cruz February 12 through 14 Early Bird Pricing is live now. Tickets start at $7.49 a couple. This sells out early every year. Get your tickets for the lowest prices before they end at ramsaysolutions.com slash getaway or click the link in the show notes and we still have the November fall getaway on sale. There's a few slots but not many left

there. So you're getting ready to miss that one and you're gonna be coming in Valentine's Day if you don't... They're fun weekends y'all. Today. We have a great we have a great time together so come hang out. Well it's Rachel and John. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be funny. They're the fun people so that's it. Alright. Shawna is with us in Lexington. Hi Shauna how are you? Hi Dave thank you for taking my call. Sure what's up? I got a debate with my husband we are empty nesters for the last few years we've been taking about three to four vacations a year. We do make three extra payments on our mortgage already and my husband was like maybe we should

stop taking so many vacations and put more on the mortgage. And I'm kind of like, I'm enjoying the vacation. You're making four mortgage payments a month? Three extra payments a year. A year? Oh, okay. Yes. And what's the balance on your mortgage?

$200,000. And what do the vacations cost? Um, in total probably about 15,000. For four vacations, so 4,000 a piece. Yes, roughly. Okay. So... Timeline-wise, Shona, have you guys mapped out when you think you'll have it paid off what year? We have not.

Okay. I would probably do that and just say, okay, if we stay at our current speed, when will we have this paid off? If we went down to two vacations, when would we have it paid off? Run a couple of scenarios. Or three, one, whatever. But I don't think you're going to see four, if you say went from four to three vacations and so $4,000 is freed up against $200,000, I don't think it moves the needle that much. That's what I was

saying. But it will move it and so, but what we're arguing about right now is the emotion of whether we feel the house being paid off or the emotion of going on vacations. Instead, let's just look at the math and like Rachel said, map it out exactly, because what you're really arguing about is just how quick the house pays off. And when you both look at it in totality, meaning, okay, if we leave it like it is, it should be paid off in, I'll make up a number, seven and a half years, okay? And if we go down to three

vacations and it gets paid off in three years, that's not the math. But then you would go well maybe I will cut back on vacations because I could cut the time in half right but if we go from seven and a half years to seven point five years to seven point three years no I'm going on vacation that's right so but we don't know the math you don't know that okay I said yeah I also took you to know vacations if you could do it in half the time, right? So you guys have do the math and then you'll figure out what you're really arguing about is not vacation What you're really arguing about is six months earlier or two years earlier Well, that ain't worth it. And then you go

She's going to Florida. Yes. Shawna's. Well, I mean, you figure out, that's what you can do cause he may look at it and come to the same conclusion you did. Maybe I'll meet in the middle. Or you may look at it and come to the, it is worth giving up one because we make so much traction.

And so you can look at it, but when you're, when you're just dealing with it with the emotion up in the air Bouncing around in your head without actually tying it to a math number. It's hard to weigh this out Okay, I'll give you I'll give you a guess though, okay, what's your household income? 180 Have you got more than 15% of your income going into retirement? Actually we do. My husband has 23% and I have 12. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The household income going into retirement. Well, his is a little different. He is employed

through the railroad so I receive part of his retirement. I know I'm just saying the total dollars going into retirement between the two of you divided into 180 is what percent? You don't know that. I don't know that. Yeah. How much of the 180 is your income? 65. It's mostly his. Oh yeah it's mostly his. I think you all may be putting in more than 15 and I might back that down to 15 percent. And put that extra towards the house. Not vacation Shana. No, no that actually makes my husband nervous. He's like I need to put more in. I'm like are you kidding me? I know he needs to put more in and he wants to pay off the house more and you want to go on vacation. These are the three stress points. I know. Okay so one of them needs to give but I think I think you're putting too much into retirement and you could put that difference on the house

and speed the house up more than backing off the vacations. So 180 times 0.15 would be 36,000. No it's not. It would be... I'm doing it wrong. Okay, so anyway, it would be 30,000 minus... It would be 24,000, okay? I think. Somewhere in there. So somewhere around 2-3 thousand dollars and some change a month probably going into retirement. And I think you guys have more than that going in. That's plenty until you get the house paid off. $2,000 and some change a month probably going into retirement. And I think you guys have more than that going in.

That's plenty until you get the house paid off. Okay. Including his mandatory retirement, railroad retirement. And so you dump the difference onto the house and then maybe you also look at the same thing we were looking at and say, okay, given that, when's this house going to be paid off? And if we just keep doing what we're doing and because that's working our baby steps perfectly. And then maybe we back off on one vacation down to three and we put that on there. Then how quick does the house pay off? And is that worth it? Is that a fair trade? Because every time you do this you're making a trade. There's

what we call opportunity cost on your money. And so if your money's doing one thing you lose the opportunity for it to do the other thing. So if you go on vacation you lose the opportunity to put it on the house. If you put it on the house you lose the opportunity to go on the vacation. And that trade out you have to look at is that worth it? And until you know the exact number, like you pointed out at the beginning of the call, Rachel, you don't know if it's worth it or not. So y'all lay that out and reset your retirement. And I think you're gonna end up winning this.

I think you're gonna keep going on vacation. Well, yeah, because if it was 15,000 per vacation, that's a different story. Yeah, I'd be changing that really, really quickly there. You getting your calculator out? Yeah, I'm trying to. I just told him that the other day. I was like, I feel like Dave used to get his calculator

out in the old days. I don't know how long everyone's watched the Ramsey Show, but he used to piddle on his calculator all the time. I thought it was 27,000. You haven't done it in a while. Okay, so $27,000 is what they should be putting in. I don't know why I couldn't do that in my head. I do a lot of it in my head.

I got 24 down with my math, but I didn't say anything. I don't know if it was right. Okay, so. Without a calculator. It's 30,000 on 200. So, yeah, so 27,000 needs to be going in, and I think you have more than that going in. Because two thirds of your income is his,

and he's putting 23% in. And he's putting one in, yeah. And one third is yours, and you're putting in 12%. And I think when you average that out, it's gonna work out to be way more. Which will be exciting. To throw up the house. It may make him feel good, but he doesn't want to.

He wants to just keep saving for retirement. I know, but you can have everything you want. He has a wife too. He likes Florida. Yeah, apparently. Like four times a year. It's like an addiction, Shawna, seriously. Once a quarter.

I hope I'm there as an end-to-nester. Shawna, seriously. Once a quarter. Hope I'm there as an empty nester. Shawna, you and Sharon will get along. I'm telling you, my dad gums suitcases. My wife's clothing is trained to jump in a suitcase. Oh, you go right along with her. I do go with her. Yes. We've been going everywhere, man.

You can't blame that on her. Like the answer at our age with our income, somebody wants to go somewhere, the answer to the question is why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't you? So we're right there, we're with you kiddo. Yeah, for sure. Fun now.

For sure. It's part of it, live like no one else, let her live and give like no one else. And go to Florida, there you go, or whatever it is. This is the Ramsey Show. ["Ramsey Show Theme"] Zach is with us, hey Zach, welcome to the Ramsey show. Hey Dave and Rachel. Thanks for taking my call.

Sure. What's up? Hey, just reaching out. I'm currently in a situation where I fear I could lose my job. I work for the United States government, the department of veterans affairs specifically. And if you guys have been in the news at all, there's been a lot of cuts. And a little bit about myself, I'm currently in baby step four, five, and six. Me and my wife make about $200,000. I make about $100,000 of that. What do you do? I have two. I'm a

congressional liaison, so I public contact and stuff like that. I make about a hundred thousand my wife also makes about a hundred thousand I have two current job offers for one for sixty thousand and one for seventy thousand and I think the cuts will be in a couple of months and I just wanted to see what you had thought if I should take one of these jobs you know in fear I could lose job, or if I should wait it out and see what happens and possibly have a lapse in employment. And you guys have a fully funded emergency fund? Yeah, he's on four or five, six.

I know, but is it more on the three month side or the six month side? It's actually probably at about two years right now. Since I heard the news back in January. You guys stocked up. Okay, yeah. We've been saving up quite a bit. And you guys. Do you enjoy your current job? What you do? I love it. I love the team. And they have not said to you, hey, we are laying you off. It's

just the fear of, hey, we're seeing a pattern and this could, we could be next. Yes. I in a non-essential role. And that's kind of what they're targeting with the tens of thousands of jobs they're're talking about. Yeah, okay I'd probably wait it out Zach you like it you obviously are marketable because you have two job offers waiting for you You're not gonna be hungry. Yeah, you have plenty of emergency funds and I'd look for a job making 140 Yeah, I mean that would be great not me, I mean really. I mean you just said you found two bad options. Option one stay in the job where they're gonna cut my throat maybe or option two take a pay cut. I like option three 140.

I think it was a little desperate and I think I just applied for a bunch of jobs and a little bit more too. I have a four month old and I grew up with not much money so I think you know. How much money is in your emergency fund? Dollars? About a hundred thousand. You're okay dude. Your kids not gonna be hungry. You a hundred thousand freaking dollars. Nobody in your family's ever seen a hundred thousand dollars. And you're motivated so if you do get cut. You're gonna be okay, and you're gonna find something and probably 16 to 90 days, right? You can live on your wife's income easy can't you? Yeah, yeah calm down

You're okay Yeah, now go get a good job make it more than the government pays That's just as fulfilling as the one you have at 140. Would you do that now even though you may not get cut though? If I could go from 100 to 140 and love what I'm doing, I would do it in a heartbeat. Yes. Yeah, but yeah, I don't know.

I may wait. If you enjoy your job now. Well, why not go make more? Well, you could say that all the time to everybody. I know. You. Come on. I know. Well, go do it. But it's... Listen here's the thing. Human nature says when this stuff, especially when... But if you're in a current job you like... And you can go make more in a job you like, go make more in a job you like. Why wouldn't you?

Yeah, but if he's happy with his team and he loves what he's doing. Okay. But I'm, I'm assuming that there are other people that have good teams. It's not like there's one freaking job in the world. We're not fatalists. I know, but that mind, are you saying that mindset because he might get cut? Or are you saying that for anyone out there? Human nature is when there's a, when there's a dark cloud on the horizon, we tend to not step up into our worst. Which is what he did to hit your point. He took a 70 and he should have been looking for a 140.

I hear you. I hear you. And trying to lift his chin and say, go look for the 140. Get your eyes up. I know. But would you do that? Yes. But he may not get cut. I would go do it. If the guy's sitting there making a hundred in an unstable governmental job, doing something he loves with a team he loves,

and he can make 140 in a job that's... Yeah, okay, I hear you. My asterisk then is what I'm trying to get from you is it because it's unstable. You're not just telling anyone out there, always go move up and change jobs just to make more. It's because it's an unstable situation for him as a government employee. If you can make more and have as good an environment, yes, always move up and change jobs just to make more. It's because it's an unstable situation for him as a government employee.

If you can make more and have as good an environment, yes, always move up. Why not? You know, if I can charge more for advertising here because we're worth more, but why would I do that? Because I'm gonna charge more. Yes, I know, but. It's what it's worth.

So you're worth more if you can go get 140. You've proven your worth, go get your worth. There's nothing, it's not a greed thing. It's just a matter of. No, I'm not saying it's not a greed thing, but if he's content and happy with where he is, and they're not in financial, you know, dire. They're not in trouble.

There's nothing on fire. Right, so why does he need to move until something's on fire, is my question to you. Because he gets $40,000 more in an equal environment. You made that up though. I know. There's a job offer out there. I know, I'm just telling you to go find that, it's there.

I can just feel it, I can feel it, it's there. Man, we pray prophecy, the gift of prophecy from Brother Dave over here that maybe, there's 140 waiting for you, but I believe it, Zach. I believe you can do it. But if you enjoy your job and love it, I probably wouldn't make a major move right now. It's the time to move,

and the time you're gonna get the 140 is when you're dealing from strength. Because you walk into the interview different, your voice tone is different, you sit in the chair different, and you get the freaking gig. When you go in there and you smell like desperation because you're freaked out

because Elon Musk is coming after you, then it changes the way you walk in the room and you're not gonna get the gig. This is the time to go get the gig while we're dealing from strength. And that's how it changes. We have 11 other people here. We interview all the time here.

People walk different when they walk in here desperate and You know you're in sales and when you're selling for when you're getting on job interview, you're in sales You're selling a product called you and it changes the way you walk talk think it changes the you know the way you How tight you tie your tie that morning if you wear a tie, God help you and so on, all that stuff. Everything is involved in this. So yeah, and it's all these unspoken things that we don't think about, but having been through this all these years,

there's a couple of times people's brains quit working is like, okay, if I lose a job, I automatically assume I have to get a lesser paying job. Yeah, no, I agree, I agree with that. That's not true. Yes. And if my car gets totaled, I have to go buy a more expensive car.

And that's not logical either. You were driving a $5,000 car before it got totaled. Buy a $5,000 car. It does not give you an excuse to go buy a $12,000 car. You're, you, you. Yes, now I'm with you. People's brains quit working on this stuff. And so, and you're, cause you're, you know,

we have this tendency to move towards scarcity or move towards abundance when the pressure's on. And so deal with this stuff before the pressure's there and keep things moving logically in your, in your thing. So that, I think you're awesome, Zach. And, and I think you deserve better than the way you're being treated right now, personally, just your personal situation. I think you have better than the way you're being treated right now, personally, just your personal situation.

I think you have earned the right to go into the marketplace and move into a more stable thing than you're sitting in today and make more money. And I, and I think you're going to find that I really do. I do believe that about you. Tim is in Phoenix. Hey Tim, how are you? Hey, I'm good Dave. How are you? Thanks so much for taking my call. I appreciate your time. Sure man. What's you? Hey, I'm good Dave. How are you? Thanks so much for taking my call. I appreciate your time. Sure man, what's up? Hey, the reason I was calling was because, and I know you've probably answered this question before, but I've just been in a situation that I'm not familiar with. So I actually left my

employer a couple years ago and took some time off due to a loss of a family member and I ended up letting one of my credit cards go and it's gotten to a point where they've sent process servers out to my house and Tim, how long have you not worked? Well I'm back to work since August of last year. Good, what do you make? Well right now on pace for at least just shy of 100 so at 97. 97,000 okay and how much is your debt? Total that $14,000 card that I let go which is like 14,500 and then I have a $6,000 one that's non delinquent.

Good. So how fast can you save up five grand? Well I already have that. Okay call them and offer them that as a settlement in full. To the 14,000? To the one that's sending you a process. Really? Yeah, and do not give them any money,

no payment plans, and don't give them any money until you get it in writing. It can be an email, but in writing, that this amount settles this debt in full. If that credit card's that bad, bad enough that they're suing you on it, then they will settle for 50 cents or less on the dollar. But you need to offer them the cash lump sum. Do not argue with them. Just argue with them until they take it. Just do not let them beat you down,

and do not let them put you on payments. Our scripture today, Psalms 20 and 7, some trust in chariots, some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. Babe Ruth said, yesterday's home runs don't win today's games. Jason's in Atlanta. Hey Jason, what's up? Thank you so much for taking my call. I've got a bit of a conundrum and I'm thinking you might have all of the answers or at least enough to help me figure it out. We are an expert on our

opinion. Yes, well I'll tell you what, me and my partner we've been together for about five years. It was a rocky road about a year ago but we're back on track. But we're gonna be cohabitating together and I'm trying to figure out, I've just purchased a house cash, um, in the Atlanta area and it's going to be our home and she's going to be helping with no doubt the bills, expenses, renovations. Uh, this house will probably be worth a little over half a million dollars when complete and will be our family home

uh... i'd like to have a pay cash for and i'm bringing uh... to be within an hour uh... well into this relationship with hopefully will come to marriage eventually but right now with the death of uh... i think we're going to get a little lower uh... over the next year or so what is your idea well how much money probably at it sits right now about a million and a half dollars. How old are you? I'm 49. And what do you make a year? Very little. It's all rental property and I

just thrown everything into it. I started over about 40 after divorce with virtually nothing and I've been just throwing everything I have into these rental properties. I'm up to about nine of them now and they're all clean clear divorce with virtually nothing. And I've been just throwing everything I have into these rental properties. I'm up to about nine of them now and they're all clean, clear cash. Oh, wow. Good for you. Yeah. It's been hard, but an example, I'm stripping out golf course houses that they're tearing down to get products for the rental houses. I'm doing it very economically. Yeah. So your question is what?

How do I structure this where she can feel like she's part of this home even though she doesn't own it at the moment I suggested to her a vested equity where no we're the first four and a half years together she knows and not not not not good enough to marry not good enough to be on the house deed it Okay keep it clean Jason. It's your stuff. You pay for the renovations. It's your stuff you own the house. Don't she I if I were her I would not be putting money into a house that I don't own. She does not need to put any money into your home she doesn't own it. Well I'm not asking to put you know a

set amount in but I know we should be living there and I want it you know and I can afford to lose this amount to the relationship deteriorate for some reason so I don't expect it to, but yeah, I don't want it to feel completely like a death in someone else's house. Well, that would be the ultimate goal, but in the short term, in the short term, don't make, listen, dude, you got that, you're getting this whole thing backwards. Okay. You do not need to make her feel good about her commitment and her ownership

position when you haven't married her. You can't do that. It doesn't work. You can give her the whole freaking house and that doesn't change the fact that you didn't marry her yet. So just keep it separate. If you got a roommate, they buy their own mustard. Okay.

And then if we do get married, you probably will I assume you will. Then you combine everything and if you want to do it pre-nup because there's a million and a half dollars on the line that would not be unusual. Okay would you suggest that from an ethical point of view? I'm you know I'm not significantly money-driven I'm really I'm just not a question of your greed it's a question of how people around you behave. And I'm more worried about her parents and her deadbeat brother than I am her. People get crazy when they think there's... Crazy's in the family everywhere, and if you think it's not, it's you.

So it's everywhere. And so that crazy gets blown up when you bring in a significant difference in wealth And so it's not as much her I'm worried about it's just they give her the tools to say to her mom No, I can't do that. It's not my you know I sign a prenup Yeah, so no, I'm after it's good. It's good. It's good mad I'm not I don't believe in prenups when everything's equal or close to equal But you got enough money and you've been burned you went through a divorce you started over you've been scrapping out houses to get this You you need the emotional situation and she needs the respect of that. That's in my opinion Yeah, you do and after you guys get married you're all one one, right? The prenup is just, if something were to happen,

you go back to original assets. Exactly. But in the function of the marriage, you're one in everything and share in everything, but not until you're married, Jason. We can't tell you how many calls we get of exes on a title of a home, and then she's living in it, but she refuses to pay it,

and then he's pay, I mean, it is a mess. Don't do it, don't do it. but she refuses to pay it. And then he's pay, I mean, it is a mess. Don't do it. Don't do it. This is very difficult to undo. So if she needs some level of like ownership and pride, then split the bills 50-50 and then mow each other if you have to, but that's, yeah. Do it a different way.

Well, what are they gonna do? I know, it's just gross. Well, I'm sorry. You're right, I agree. I mean, that's how you do it. Do not put her on the title of anything, Jason. You wanted to know what we thought, that's what we think. And we're very sure.

This is the new- You're talking to people who've talked to this going sideways for 30 years. All I get are the calls of where this goes sideways. Don't do this. You know that the new stalking people do? They go on people's Venmo. And you can see if you make it public

what you Venmo, who you Venmo to and how much and stuff and people like love when it's like a couple a married couple and they're Venmo each other for Groceries and stuff people that keep it separate. Oh, yeah, it's like the new like reddit thing people. Oh, yeah, see Kelly knows No, it's the stocking that you lost me right before you said Reddit. And then you lost me completely. Do you have Venmo? No. Okay. And I definitely don't have Reddit.

Well, no, you don't have Reddit. You go to Reddit. I know, but Reddit is full of trolls. I know. It's just a troll place. I know. I'm just saying. It's anonymous cowards.

So Jason, if you want some public entertainment and you guys start Venmo-ing each other, which is why things are terrible, just make it public. No, don't. Please God, have a life. I'm kidding, Jason, I'm kidding. It's the last segment of the show. It's been three hours. I feel it. I feel it.

I feel it. I feel it. I feel it. I feel it. Hayley, help us! Hayley's in Detroit. Hey, Hayley, what's up? Hi, Dave.

I'm thinking of taking my call this morning or afternoon I guess. Well it was morning when you got on hold. Thanks for staying on hold. So my mother does not think that I should be moving out of her house. How old are you? I just turned 19 in the beginning of this year but I make a lot of money. What's a lot of money? Last year from when I turned 18 to the end of December I made around $86,000. Doing what? This year I switched from I work in the mortgage business. I switched to full commission this year. I'm projected to make like over $150,000. I've already made around 40 this year. So I can't you support yourself why does she think you can't support yourself um that's a really good question I think

she's more thinking about it like emotionally than I am and she just thinks I'm too young to get a house because I'm gonna change my mind or I wouldn't buy a house so but you could go rent something and start your life. You probably should have some money in the bank, don't you? I saved about half of what I made last year, so right around $50,000. So you're 19 years old, you have $50,000, you're projected to make over $100 this year, and you want to go get an apartment and start your life? Sure. I want to buy a house.

No, I would not buy a house. Okay. But first thing you need is to go set up and learn to pay your own light bill and buy your own groceries. Yeah, rent for a couple of years, Haley. Yeah, you're okay. There's no rush to buy a house in your situation.

But you're in the mortgage business, so you're all about it. She's seeing it every day, but yeah. Have some patience in that. But don't. Just be calm, rent something inexpensive and just establish yourself as a person in the community, separate and apart from your parents emotionally. Speaking of emotions.

Because your mom, I mean, I could see her thinking, you're 19 and in a year or two, you could change jobs, you could be transferred to another city and being locked down during a time of transition at your age with a house could be really difficult So I think that's wise to think that so I would yeah Money so I think that's also kind of a little scary for her because she didn't have any money growing up and That's fair and you can honor her you don't have to be smart I like to her

But yeah, I think you say mama. I appreciate that and you know But I'm really comfortable with my fifty thousand dollars in the bank And I'm just gonna go rent a little apartment yep And I'm gonna start my life, and I'm gonna be debt-free and I'm gonna have a fun the light of the day there we go $50,000 saved and don't and don't send most strangers dollars saved at an old and old and most rangers and and and and and and and the profile private that puts us our the ramsey show in the books will be back with you before you know it in the meantime remember there's ultimately only one way to financial

peace and that's the walk daily with the prince of peace christ jesus