The Ramsey Show - App - You Can't Have Unified Actions When You Have Separate Accounts (Hour 1)

Episode Date: September 9, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Dave Ramsey Show. It's where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Ken Coleman, best-selling author of The Proximity Principle and host of The Ken Coleman Show, part of the Ramsey Network. Also Ramsey personality.

We've got a great hour coming up for you. It's chock full. So next segment, we're going to have Andy Andrews, best-selling author, many times a New York Times best-selling author, a longtime friend of Dave and the show. And he's got a new book out entitled Just Jones. So he'll be joining me. And then my colleague and number one best selling author, Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey personality will be joining me as well as we take your calls

about your life and your money. So we're taking your calls about money, we're taking your calls about career, and we're going to dive right in. And so let's do that. The phone number is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. And we're going to start it off with Josh, who joins us in Peoria, Illinois. Josh, how can I help? A few months ago, I just started a new position with a company, and it was a better opportunity for me and a bigger raise. But since coming into this position, the person that was supposed to train me, they quit. And I've had little to no training on their procedures and their system and everything like that. And I'm kind of to the point that I think, like, I want to quit or understand, like, if this is still, like, a good, you know, if, like, I should just wait it out a little bit longer. You know, I have gone to, like, my supervisor

and kind of expressed my, like, frustration, but I just kind of wanted to get your take and, you know know see how you would handle the situation what did the supervisor say when you brought all this up oh and I mean he he agreed that you know I was brought into a not very good situation and he has you uh given me some like help like in you know helping with my job because I was just like you know really overwhelmed and you know couldn't you know I was putting in extra time and everything just things weren't getting done and he has been put giving me more help on that aspect and I guess just still like

with the training and trying to understand like our system and our processes and procedures like you know that stuff's just been kind of like a little bit like slow. So I don't know if I should, you know, give it some more time before I look to put it. Well, I think so, because you've told me that the supervisor responded. Sounds like a good response. Would you rate it as a good response or an okay response, a bad response? Yeah, I mean, I think it was a good response. I think, you know, things are, you know, getting there, just maybe, you know, I guess I've just only been there a few months and was thought that, you know, since I got kind of thrown in that things would, you know, progress or, you know, be a lot quicker than what it was. Right. So things, so it sounds like to me that

where you were overwhelmed, the supervisor stepped up and helped. So that's a good thing. It sounds to me that this is about frustration with the training part of the job. It's almost like you're ready to take the training wheels off. Hey, guys, let me ride the bike. But the training is moving slower than you thought. Is that what I'm hearing? Yeah. Is that what I'm hearing? Yeah, I mean, I guess, like, there was no, like, from the start,

when they just kind of threw me into the position that they did not have, you know, they weren't able to have any time, like, with me to be able to give me the proper training and everything because they just needed me to go and start the job and get, you know, things going. Well, you know what? That happens sometimes. And so that's what we call trial by fire, right? They just threw you in there. And that can be a good thing if you receive it. You know, he's okay. Look, I didn't get all this training. So, you know, I'm not doing it as well as I could have had I gotten trained, but I am still learning. And it does take some time with this position. I went from a smaller company to this bigger company, so I knew that it was going to be challenging. Do you enjoy the work, Josh? Do you enjoy the work?

Yeah, I mean, I enjoy the work that I do. Okay, is it putting you in a position to eventually step up a couple of rungs on the ladder? Is this a company where if you do a good job in the present, there's going to be opportunities for you to have a better future? Yeah, I mean, it would be several years, but I have kind of made it to the top. I'm in a senior buyer role. Okay, well, let's put it this way. This position, is it giving you experience that will allow you to move up the ladder in your career, even if it's with another company? Oh, yes, for sure. Well, then I would stick it out.

You've been there three months. I think you have to identify, what are the things that I wish were better? And I think the one thing I'm hearing is, you just wish you were already done with your training. I haven't heard anything else. What would you fix besides that, if you could fix it with a snap of the fingers today? I mean, the one other thing, I mean, I did ask for help as in getting maybe a person underneath me on our team to help me with some things.

In this previous role, which they brought to my attention after I had already started, that there was three people that were doing this job, and now they've cut it back to one and me. So that's been kind of the thing, too, and then the handling, the workload. Right. Well, that's just something that you're going to have to adapt to. And in adapting, they will see this. Adaptability is one of the most sought-after qualities among hiring managers. And so anytime a person is known for, you know what, we brought Josh in. We admit that he was overwhelmed. It wasn't an ideal situation. He brought it to us

with a good spirit. He adapted. He did the best that he could. It would have been ideal to have somebody underneath of him, but he didn't at first. But he still did the job. He did a good spirit. He adapted. He did the best that he could. It would have been ideal to have somebody underneath of him, but he didn't at first. But he still did the job. He did a good job. Josh is top notch. You know, Josh is somebody that we'd like to promote. We'd like to develop. And you can only win by being this way.

You can only win because either you will be noticed and recognized and rewarded for that type of spirit and that type of actual, hey, hands-on, I adapted, I adjusted and had a good spirit about it. I still did a good job. Or you will get the benefits of just growing through that and becoming all those things adaptable and staying humble. And so that positions you well for the future anyway. There's a key here, Josh.

I'm going to give this to you and I'm going to give this to the rest of the audience. I teach about this a lot on the Ken Coleman Show because the show is based on people who say, Hey, Ken, I want to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life and my work. Or I know what I want to do. I'm not sure how to get there. Or I'm in it, but I want to move up. And the key to being promoted, there's three key actions that will always make you promotable. And here they are.

Number one, you've got to know your role. Josh has got to have tremendous clarity between he and his leader. This is what we expect of Josh. And I think he's done that. But, Josh, that's what you need to do. If it's not super clear, let's get it out on one sheet of paper. This is what I am responsible to do. So you got to know your role. It's clarity. The second, you got to accept your role. It's an attitude. Right now, Josh, this is your role. This gives you a chance

at a future, but you've got to say, this is what I am supposed to do now. And the third is maximize your role. That's about effort. You go above and beyond. Make yourself indispensable. Incredibly valuable, Josh. And here's what's going to happen when you need help. Because you've been so helpful and so valuable to others. They're going to step up and say, you know what? Josh needs this. He deserves it.

He is a really, really good egg. So, Josh, hang in there. It's going to get better. All right, folks, don't move. New York Times bestselling author Andy Andrews joins me in studio. Coming up next, this is The Dave Ramsey Show. Families all over the country are discovering a faith-based and budget-friendly way of meeting health care costs, whether they're anticipated or completely unexpected.

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That's chministries.org. CHM is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. Welcome back, America. You're listening to The Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, host of The Ken Coleman Show on the Ramsey Network, also the best-selling author of The Proximity Principle. And I'm really excited to have our longtime friend Andy Andrews with me.

He's got a brand-new book out. We're going to talk about that, but if you're new to The Dave Ramsey Show, let me just tell you that Andy has been on many, many times, longtime friend of Dave's and our entire company. Spoke to our entire team this morning and really, really excited for you to get to know him and his writing. But first, Andy, welcome back. Buddy, I'm honored to be here. Yeah, congratulations on the release of Just Jones. Thank you. It's another Noticer book. I'm very excited about this one. You should be. I think it's the best I've done. Oh, really? I really do. There's a lot of books. You've written a lot of books, and you're going, this is the favorite

child. Yeah, I'm going in on this. Really? Yeah. All right, so let's start right there, because this is the third in the Noticer series. But it stands alone. You can read this first. That's exactly right. So why a third book around this idea of the Noticer and this really awesome character? This guy is an old man

that happens to be where people need help. I mean, it's just like he just happens to be in the right place at the right time in people's lives. And he certainly was with mine. I mean, you know my story. My parents died when I was 19, the same year. And I was living under a pier on the Gulf Coast when I met this old man.

And he told me the truth in ways that kind of made me mad sometimes or less than tactful sometimes, but always pretty funny and incredibly insightful. And so these books tell his story. And this one, he shows up, and it is a killer story. I'm in the book because I watched it all happen. And so I'm kind of narrating the book. And we've got a villain, a lady in the town that everybody hates. I mean, she moved into town from another state, and she's for another football team, and we don't like her.

Oh, okay. All right. Now, do you actually introduce the Crimson Tide in this? Well, you know, there are people who yell and roll Tide and yell and war Eagle, but she's a hook-em-horns person, and we don't like that. You know, you don't put up with that in a state with no professional teams. Yeah, that's true. know you don't put up with that in a state with no professional teams yeah and so it's a it's a an awesome story that when i was writing this i didn't understand that our country would be in the situation that we're in uh with this social uh craziness going on and and so you know this

whole book the theme of it is is finding finding peace in your relationships and peace with your neighbors. And so it's laugh out loud funny in places, and it has tender moments. And, of course, it's a mystery. And with the old man, there's teaching. That's what I love about what you do. So you take a story like this and fiction, but then you wrap so much reality of your story and your experience into, and it really is a wonderful, wonderful combination. And one of the key things that, again, this is a theme for you. I've known you for a while. It's shown up

in other books. But this thought that which Jones shares, you can't believe everything you think. And boy, if there is a relevant principle or a thought in 2020, that's it. Explain what you mean. What does Jones mean when he says that? He says it several times and explains it in different ways in the book, but it is an amazing principle that you can't believe everything you think, that there is constant change and growth and learning that needs to take place, that, you know, where you are and what you believe about yourself and about your neighbors and about society and about where we're going, there's a necessary change for boundaries to change, for your rules in your life to change.

And the rules in your life and the boundaries that you set, at some time, they were very relevant because you set those boundaries according to the understanding and wisdom and knowledge you had at the time. But if you have moved on and you haven't changed those boundaries, you change those rules, then some of those rules are obsolete. And you're not getting everything you would want to get out of life or out of your relationships. You know, the rule, don't cross the street without holding hands, is a very relevant rule for a certain time in somebody's life. But there comes a time when that rule needs to be set aside. Yeah. Yeah. It would be weird if you and I were crossing the street and I grabbed your hand.

Yeah, don't talk to strangers again. And here's the thing that I want people to get is that there are thoughts that we have every day. So when you hear that from Jones, there's so much application. We have thoughts every day of fear, of doubt. Sometimes it's legit fear. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's the monster under the bed.

Sometimes it's the doubt. Hey, I don't think I can pull this off. When everybody we know knows we can pull it off. Has there ever been something that you've known? I mean, you knew it, and you could argue it, and you could win the argument, and then you found out later, well, that wasn't exactly correct. Well, of course, we've all done that. Okay, well, if you've done that, does the possibility exist that something you know now, your information may not be complete? And you'd say, well, yeah, of course, Andy. It's something I know now. Of course, my information may not be incomplete, or may be incomplete. And I would say, of course, Andy. It's something I know now. Of course, my information may not be incomplete or may be incomplete.

And I would say, of course, I agree with that. But we don't know what that is, do we? Or how many subjects in your life that may cover. So you've got to walk around knowing. You can't believe everything you think. And be in a searching for wisdom mode. And this is what Jones says. This is a story.

We've got a 13-year-old redheaded kid here. This is pranking the town, pulling pranks on the town that are ramping up. And they're starting to lean toward this mean lady. And Oliver Sutherland's a great kid. Everybody suspects him of something, and nobody can catch him. But he's a great character in this book. Okay, fun character. Fun character.

What can we all learn from Jones? What do you want the readers to take away from this character, this sage that kind of wanders in and out? This is a life-changing book. And I think at this time in our country's history, it's a society-changing book. Because if we had, as adults, if we had a wise parent come in to say, hey, settle down here and listen to me for a second, it would be Jones. A man to teach us how to seek wisdom and not just how to take advantage of principles, but why they work as they do. Because there's so many people that know how to do something. something, but until you know why it works as it does, you'll never be able to use them in different areas that you can see with your imagination and new things that will come about because of them.

He is Andy Andrews. The new book is Just Jones. Sometimes a thing is impossible until it is actually done. I'm Ken Coleman, and you're listening to The Dave Ramsey Show. So when you talk about the noticer, I've always loved interviewing about your books. This is the third in this, essentially, this noticer series. Why is it so important that we have our antennas up and truly be a noticer? Because you've really grabbed that idea. It is because perspective, people only have it half right. People say, if I said, what is perspective? Most would say, well, it's how you see something. Okay, well, that's only half right, because Jones would say it's not just how you see something,

it's how you choose to see it. And people say, well, the glass half full, the glass half empty. Look, the glass is what it is. The liquid doesn't change. But how you choose, the perspective you choose about that situation can lead your life down one road or down another road. And so I really care that people get this book. And if you get it in the month of September, just send – if you could photograph your receipt or screenshot your receipt and send it to Andy at AndyAndrews.com, I will send you absolutely free my four hour audio program becoming a noticer it sells for 50 bucks on itunes you'll get it for free just for getting the book in this couple that's a big

deal all right so folks all you got to do is get the book just jones wherever books are sold take a picture of the receipt email andy at andy andrews dot com and you're going to send them this audio series really on how to become a noticer and And I think it is one of the most underrated skills. It becomes a skill. Yeah, it is. You're teaching the skill of being aware. Not just aware, but diving deeper into what you now become aware of. And in today's world, boy, we hear a headline and we run for the hills.

There's no toilet paper. It's gone. We are panicked. You know? And we don't dive in to look at anything. And how to choose, you know, this whole idea of becoming a noticer and what Jones teaches is about building relationships and about choosing your perspective and choosing a correct perspective that's beneficial for your family and your business.

He is Andy Andrews' longtime friend, multi-New York Times bestselling author. The new book is Just Jones. Sometimes a thing is impossible until it is actually done. As with all of Andy's books, it is an easy read. It is a great read. And don't forget the special offer if you buy the book in September. Andy, thank you for stopping by. Can't wait to have you back on again. All right, folks, coming up, my colleague, best-selling author of Debt-Free Degree, Anthony O'Neill, joins me as we take

your calls about your life and your money. Don't move. More Dave Ramsey Show coming right up. Hey, guys. At The Dave Ramsey Show, we really value your input. It helps us to know what's important to you so we can deliver relevant content to help you crush your money goals.

We just launched a brand-new survey, and we'd love your feedback. It only takes a few minutes, and you'll be entered to win a $100 Amazon gift card. No purchase necessary. Take the survey at DaveRamsey.com slash survey or text survey to 33789. Ken Coleman and Anthony O'Neill here with you on the Dave Ramsey Show. Thrilled to have you with us. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225.

We are Ramsey Personalities. We both have shows on the Ramsey Network, and we're excited to be here with you. It is your show, calls about your life, your money, your job, your career, purpose. We are here for you, so we'd love to have you join us. 888-825-5225. Anthony, good to be with you, man. Man, always, Ken. Yes, sir.

I've been looking forward to this all day. Yes, sir. Well, let's get to it. Let's go to Memphis, Tennessee, where Brian joins us. Brian, how can we help? How are y'all? Me and my wife have just started this about two weeks ago, and we hear a lot about combining our money. We've always had separate money.

And I picked up on that from some older couples that I had met that seemed to get along better than most couples, and they all had separate money. So I've pushed that from the beginning and just wondering how we would benefit by joining our money together. Help me understand why, why you do not want to, uh, Brian, um,

I hear what you're saying about the other people, but what's your reason to why you believe you shouldn't combine it? I just kind of saw the older couples, you know, that seem to have seemed to get along better than most. So, I mean, like y'all said before,

most arguments are over money. So us having separate money, that's not really an issue. And neither one of us are greedy. You know, like we're both willing to help each other if something comes up financially. Like she has more debt than me, and I have no problem. Once we're both in the debt snowball, when I pay my debt off, I'm jumping on her debt.

Well, hold on a second. Here's – all right ao you take it yeah i mean well no you're married you got to speak into this i'm not ready to because i i i'm not i'm not married so i can't speak into uh certain things of the marriage aspect but one thing i do know okay brian uh and be real with your brother because i love you um there is no my debt her debt there is no my money his money there is no when you two say i do and when two become one everything becomes that one now do i believe that you two and ken i'm pretty sure when you and your wife got married there had to be a very serious conversation to all right this is how we're going to combine everything that makes sense so we will not have any issues going forth in a marriage but I from what I know Brian when I get married to my wife her debt becomes my debt if I have if she has any debt her money becomes my money my money

becomes her money. And we're going to work on this thing together. Brian, listen, here's the deal. I want to poke some holes in what seems to be a solid theory to you, because I think you really believe that you saw happy older couples who had this particular philosophy about separate bank accounts. And you said, well, it worked for them. It'll work for us. And I think you really believe that it's worked for you so far. But Anthony nailed it. The big issue is, is that it's not her debt and then your debt. And it's not you, well, I'm going to pay mine off and then I'm going to throw all my money at hers. Because there will always be, with separate accounts, there will be separate goals, there will be separate goals there will be separate emotions and there will be separate actions all related to money you cannot

separate accounts and then have unified actions and that's why we recommend what we recommend it is just counterintuitive even though it makes sense to you it's counterintuitive to a unified marriage and a strong marriage and so i would really challenge you to really think this through and here's where i'm going to poke the hole in your theory you don't have any evidence that i'm aware of you haven't shared it of these couples where you sat down with these men and these couples you said couples plural and you sat down with these men and said, hey, Frank, Pete, tell me about all the good things in your marriage

because you guys had separate bank accounts. That evidence doesn't exist. And while you saw some couples in whatever limited experience you had with them, not throwing a frying pan at each other, not cussing each other out, not being negative and pan at each other, not cussing each other out, not being negative and cheating on each other. You saw that and you went, well, they look kind of normal to me. It sounds like a good idea. And I'm going to challenge you.

You don't have any evidence that says that that's the best thing for the marriage. The second thing I'm going to challenge you on is that this thing is really about you. This isn't about an example that you saw with another couple or two. This is, you kind of like having your sandbox, and I'm assuming your wife likes having her sandbox, and that's a real problem. Because I don't even know if kids are in the picture. I didn't want to bring that up because that's really gnarly. So, no, don't do that.

We know you're new to the show. I'm so excited that you're listening to the Dave Ramsey show and that you're diving on the baby steps. But this needs to be a we thing, not a you and her thing. And we try to individually get to the same place. It's just never going to pan out well. And at the end of the day, two is better than one. Okay. And so when you all have a joint accounts,

you have a joint mission, you have a joint assignment, you all are going down this road together. You're going to get there quicker because you all are together on the same page and you all are helping each other. Keep that momentum up. That's one thing i'm looking forward to when i'm getting married uh because now i'm stronger because i have a partner with me and

together we're going somewhere it's not i'm going over here bay um i'll talk to you when you get over there and i'm gonna go be debt free and i'm gonna do the debt free scream uh but ken colman and anthony o'neill the show but you're going to be on the sidelines because you're not debt-free yet. That's a very good point, and that's exactly the chasm there. Kelly, let's give Brian and his wife a free subscription to Ramsey Plus, which is our brand-new subscription-based program that is just unbelievable. It has all three of the tools that you all need to get on the same page and win. One is Financial Peace University, all nine weeks of the course. The second is our unbelievably unparalleled, world-class budgeting app,

EveryDollar. It connects right to your bank account where every dollar is, where it's going, how it got there, why it left, and then your gold tracking app, the Baby Steps Gold Tracker app, all of that plus more in Ramsey Plus. So, Brian, that is my plus more in Ramsey Plus. So, Brian, that is my gift to you and from Anthony. Let's just call that a late wedding present. But you all need to get on the same page.

All right, let's go to Gus next in Enfield, Connecticut. Gus, how can we help? Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure, how can we help? Yes, this is the situation I'm in right now. So I own a house, and I owe about $191,000 on it. Now, I do have a fiancée, and we're planning on getting married October 2021. But the thing is, you know, she doesn't really like the house.

I think we could use a better house. You know, it's kind of big. We really are interested in something smaller. So basically, if I sell this house, I'll get $5,000. I got about $10,000 in the bank account and probably about $6,000 that is going to go to the wedding. Do you think it's worth it to buy another house or should we stay in the other house that I'm in now and try to fix it up and sell it a little bit more in the future? Gus, what's your gross income right now?

What's your yearly income? My yearly income is about $55,000. Okay, $55,000. And outside of your mortgage right now, what kind of debt do you have? No debt. Okay, how much is your mortgage payment? $13.97 a month. Okay. $1,397 a month. So after $55,000, you're bringing in about what? $3,500 a month? $2,600 a month. Yeah. So the mortgage payment is too high. All right. So one of the key things that I'm always teaching

is to have your mortgage payment and house house homeowners insurance payment, uh, below 25% of your take home pay. So if you're bringing home 25 to $2,600, um, a month, you are right at about 40, 45%. So yes, sell the house and y'all go rent and try and find you something below right around for you about seven to $900 a month as you all get your income to go up together. So absolutely, man, I would sell the home, get your income up, get your expenses down, then look for a home maybe two, three years down the road. That's great advice because she doesn't like the house anyway, guys.

Right. So sell it now. Don't worry about how much you made. At least you're making something. Right. And Anthony's right. You'll save up the money. You guys get married.

Then we put that 20% or more down. You're going to be so much happier. So, yeah, good move, good call. Thank you so much for the question. All right, Anthony O'Neill, Ken Coleman, this is the Dave Ramsey Show. Welcome back, America. You're listening to The Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined in studio by Anthony O'Neill, and we are here to take your calls.

888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Let's go to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, where Russell joins us. Russell, how can we help? Hello. How are you guys doing? We are living the dream. What's happening?

Oh, trying to do the same thing. All right. So what I got right now, I am on baby step number two, and I got my $1,000 saved up. I'm paying off all the debt. The only debt I have at the moment besides my mortgage is two vehicles that come to about $14,000 total. And what I'm wanting to know is what's going to be the best way for me to get those paid off as quickly as possible. Because I've got a little bit of, I've got an IRA right now that –

because I started investing late, so it doesn't have a whole lot of it. It's got about $5,000 in it. And I've got a little bit of a few, like, hundred invested in some local smaller stocks. Well, Russell, you're not going to use that. You're not going to use that. You never use your investments and retirement accounts to pay off debt. So you've only got $14,000 total to pay off. So break those down for me.

How much for each car? Give me the individual debt on the car. So one car is $5,400, and the other is $7,500. All right. And how much are each car worth? How much is the $5,400 car worth? Today, about $2,500. All right. And how much are each car worth? How much is the $5,400 car worth? Today, about $2,500. Okay.

And how much is a $7,500 car worth? Still about $7,000. Okay. All right. AO? Yeah. What's that $7,500 car? What is it?

Yes, sir. A 2013 Ford Escape. Ford Escape. Okay, cool. And what's your gross income right now your household i make about i make about 50 000 a year okay 50 000 a year and you're out of oklahoma city all right cool so check this out this do you need both of those cars all right no the answer is no okay no not at all yeah so here here's my suggestion to you. Here's the very first thing. I love your drive on trying to figure out a way to attack the debt. But what I do want you to do is also be patient during this process.

So here's what I'm going to recommend. Sell the $7,500 car because you're only at about a $500 deficit. I'll take that, sell it to them for $7,000, put $500 on top of that to give them the title, and then go ahead and pay off the car that's $4,500. What kind of car is that? That one, it's a 2008 Mazda 3. Oh, it's a Mazda 3. So you're going to get decent miles out of that.

You're good. So this way, honestly, within the next three months, if you're really working hard, two months, you can be 100% debt-free. So what's the best way to pay off your last debt? Sell the Ford Escape. You can honestly sell that to a nice single mother or something like that. Sell it privately, and then you keep the other car. You pay that off within the next 30 to 60 days.

You're debt-free. Any problems with that? No, actually, I don't think so. That's what I want to be. That's my goal by the end of the year. Yeah, well, do not touch the retirement. This is not a lot of money, and you're going to wipe out that biggest debt left by simply selling it. So you've got your payoff date on what it was.

You know what you're putting in financially to these payments. And so you just attack the $5,400 car with everything you've got. And that's how you're going to get out. But don't touch any of the investment stuff. You're going to take a tax hit on that. It's not necessary. You're going to be debt free before you know it. Great job. Great, great job, Russell. Really proud of you there. All right, let's go to Jim, who is in Anaheim, California. Jim, how can we help? Hey, Ken, how's it going? So recently, I mentioned to my boss that I was thinking about moving out of state and hopefully opening up my own business, doing the same thing I currently do now, he offered me to a raise he had said how much do i want for me to stay and uh kind of in a pickle right now why are you in a pickle it's it's uh

we just get two options there and so you got to look at it that way which is the best option for you right now um well i've also talked to my fiance about wondering if I can buy the current business that I'm working for him right now because it's a small business to employees. Okay. So hold on. Let me make sure I understand. Let's walk through this. So you were thinking about moving out of state to basically start your own business, correct?

Yes. Doing the same thing you're doing right now. were thinking about moving out of state to basically start your own business, correct? Yes, to Arizona. Doing the same thing you're doing right now? Yeah. All right. And what was the raise that your current boss gave you when you told him this? He offered you a raise. How much of a raise was it? So you went from how much to how much?

Well, he asked me how much I wanted, and we kind of left it at that. Oh, you haven't responded to him yet? No. Okay. All right. So how much do you think you're going to make? How much did you project? Before the boss told you he was going to offer you a raise to try to keep you,

how much did you project you were going to make in your first year working for yourself? Well, looking at what this current business i'm running for handmade uh was 90 about about 90 000 net so i was looking on somewhere around there maybe less all right now i i hate i don't want to sound cynical but what evidence do you have that you moving into a new area a whole new state that you would be able to replicate the kind of revenues that has already been established? What makes you that confident? Well, the current customer that I'm working with, they told me that wherever I would go, they'd keep giving me work. Okay, gotcha.

All right. So what's the pickle for you? What's the hard part? Is it because you wanted to move? The fiancé wants you to move? Help me understand where she plays into this. Well well she's kind of in the same thing she wants to move but she would like to stay here because her family's here and uh okay so so the other issue is now you're asking should i buy this guy out is that what you're asking me? Yeah. Yeah. How much is it going to, what's the, what's the cost? Have you guys talked terms? No, not yet. I know they bought it two years ago for

120. Yeah. Well, so here's the deal. I can't give you specific advice based on the fact that you guys haven't talked terms, but let's just say that it's one to two times revenue. Okay. Even though he bought it at 120, my guess is he's not going to sell it to you for that. And so you've got to have a good look at the book. So I can give you advice on how to truly consider this. And one is he has to agree to let you have a look at the books. And you need to have somebody that you trust, a certified public accountant or some bookkeeper, somebody that you know that you really trust, that you feel like they could look over this small business. It's a small business,

so the balance sheet shouldn't be really crazy. Look it over and get a real good sense that I don't think you currently have as to what all is involved in the day-to-day of this business. How healthy is it? Because that's just one option. The other option is that you were going to go to Arizona, and I guess the fiance were going to go to Arizona, and I guess the fiancé was going to go with you, and you guys were going to start this new life there, and then this guy threw a raise at you, and you haven't even responded to him with what you want the number to be.

So I'd go back to him, and I'd give him a really good number that would make you want to stay, because we know that your future wife wants to stay and be around family. So let's at least take him up on his offer, Anthony, and throw a number at him. Man, I was just about to say that, Ken. You took it from me, man. I'm actually, the first conversation I'm saying, hey, you know what? And honestly, I may even go back a little bit higher.

Well, you don't have anything to lose. Right. You were already going to Arizona. Exactly. So I'm like, hey, this is what I want. And he may say, that's a little bit too high, but what you willing to give me? I think that's right. Just have a conversation and then go from there.

I agree. So those are your options. And here's the other thing. I get this call a lot, Anthony, on my show. People have a very clear vision for their future. And then a distraction comes in. And it's like, hey, wait a second. Before you leave, what if I offer you a raise?

And just this idea of a raise, this idea of being wanted, it can really distract us. Think about it. When somebody offers us a raise to stay, there's a psychological thing that's happened. First is you feel very valuable. And it feels nice to be wanted and get the raise. The other thing is you feel like maybe I'm an idiot. If I turn a race down instead of going away, just like,

Oh, what is it that I believe I'm supposed to do? And so at the end of the day, you got to move forward on what you believe you're supposed to do and not be distracted even by a raise or a promotion. Hey, I want to thank Anthony O'Neill for hanging out. Always fun.

Always man. My dear, dear friend. Always fun to hang with you. I also want to thank Zach Bennett, our producer, our associate producer, Kelly Daniel. And then I want to thank you, man. My dear, dear friend. Always fun to hang with you. I also want to thank Zach Bennett, our producer, our associate producer, Kelly Daniel. And then I want to thank you, America. Thank you so much for listening.

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