The Ramsey Show - App - You Do Too Much Good To Be Broke (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Rachel Cruze answer your questions and discuss:  Preparing to go down to a single income household while paying off your house, from the blog: How to Pay Off Your Mortgage Early How to navigate Baby Step 3b and Baby Step 4 at the same time, "Should I pause investing while paying off $100,000 of student loans?" from the blog: Pay Off Debt or Save for the Future? Want to learn more? Go to RamseySolution.com/StudentLoans A Debt-Free Scream from a single woman who found confidence to change her life with Dave's common sense financial advice, from the store: The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey Why it's ok to leave a low paying job even when you work for family. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Here's an EveryDollar deal just for our listeners: get a 14-day free trial PLUS $15 off your first year of premium. Click the link below and start budgeting today! www.everydollar.com/TRS Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Interested in advertising on The Ramsey Show? https://ter.li/s64ye3 Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author many times over, and co-host of the Smart Money Happy Hour broadcast podcast here on the Ramsey Network, along with George Campbell. She's my co-host today, my daughter as well.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. Anthony starts this hour off in Houston. Hi, Anthony. How are you? I'm good. How about you all? Better than we deserve. What's up? So my wife and I want her to be a stay-at-home mom once we start having kids.

But if we go down to just my income as it is now, we'll be house poor. So I'm in a field that has overtime. And my idea is to just throw money at the principal and then refinance from our 30-year to a 15-year fixed rate and hopefully bring our monthly payment down. Does that make sense? Well, you would reduce the principal enough that going to a 15-year would not cause your payment to come up, and you'd reduce it even

more, I guess. So what do you owe on the house? We just bought it, and it's approximately $174,000 that we owe. And what do you make, and what does she make? I bring in, after tax tithes and benefits, approximately four before overtime. Her income varies, but $800,000 to $1,000,000 is ballpark. A month? Yes, yeah, a month. You're talking about take-home pay. Yes, sir. So she's not working full-time?

No, sir. So losing her income is probably really not going to be a problem. She doesn't make anything. It's not a huge problem, but it's just the technicality of being house poor and just losing. No, the point is you're not going to be house poor. If you're house poor over $800, you're already house poor. How much is your payment a month, Anthony? With the HOA, it's about $1,750 a month.

Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. uh with the hoa it's about 17 50 a month okay all right well if we're only on your income it's a little high but you're not house poor okay yeah are you are you guys expecting now anthony or you guys are just talking about the future no it's kind of just planning for the future how old are you i'm 24 and she's about to turn 24. What does she do? Tutoring and then teaching at a homeschool-type program. And you do not have children now? Correct. Okay.

So it's more just a hypothetical. We're just talking about the future. What would we do in that scenario kind of thing? Okay. All right. Yeah, so here's, and you don't have any other debt except this correct good okay do you have any money saved anthony yeah we do have an emergency fund that's at uh roughly 9 000 right now okay well it's higher you've done a good job anthony you've done a good job and you're thinking about it clearly.

So here's what I would do. I would tell her to triple her income until she has a baby. She don't make nothing. So whatever this homeschool gig is that pays nothing is a nice ministry, but she could go make a bunch of money right now before she gets pregnant. Private tutoring? Yeah, let's go make a pile of money, both of both of you and then you got an extra big old pile and then if you if you did throw 50,000 say at this house and then refight it yeah you would be able to do what you talked about

and that would be an awesome plan okay but the absolute but but the good news is is you're not really dependent on her income to uh survive and prosper you can make it if you if she wants to be if you guys want to choose for her to be a home mom stay-at-home mom i think you can afford it but the more money you pile up the more you're going to be able to afford it no duh dave right but that's yeah but but that's y'all gotta you know even if y'all start soon trying anthony math tells me within you know you still have close to a year uh for her to be working so you guys could spend you know this next year just saying okay even if she gets pregnant she can still work um and just like he's saying pile up that money now and anthony the truth is too

everyone's story is so different with this. You guys may do this for three years until you get pregnant, right? I mean, like you don't know. And so doing what I can, what I could on the front ends, which is pile up a bunch of money to be able to put to the principal, I think it's great. I'd be in the cash stacking business, both of you. You're picking up OT and her changing her uh because 800 bucks man she ain't making anything and she's got the ability to make a lot more than that and

i would i would say let's reset that with the goal of okay we're going to pay a price now which ensures that we'll be able to afford for to live this this desire to stay at home, yeah, you're paying a price to win. Live like no one else so that later you can live and give like no one else. That's it. You guys are really doing well, by the way. I want to say it again. I said it once. I mean, you're 24, 25 years old, and you got your crap together

way more than most people. And you're actually thinking, which is way more than most people do. Sean is in Los Angeles. Hey, Sean, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Dave and Rachel, I feel so blessed to talk to you guys today. Thank you so much. You too. What's up?

So I have a little two-fold question here. And so it's about navigating baby steps three being four. So you'll probably need some facts. I was going to spit them out real quick. I'm a 34 years old and I'm a full-time, um, pastor at a church. I just completed baby step three and I'm super, super excited. I'm single, never married, and I don't have kids. And I'm thinking I'll make roughly around 65 to 70,000 this year. I currently rent a room and a house, so I don't own property.

But as I enter Baby Steps 3, B, 4, 5, and 6, my first question about Baby Step 4 is, as I receive my money and I get paid in gross amounts, I'm currently just setting that amount for my taxes in a separate savings account. This will be my first year doing the quarterly estimate, so how do I plan for exactly what that 15% will be going into retirement of my take-home? I've heard take-home pay on this show. No, it's not 15% of take-home. It's 15% of gross.

Okay, understood. For baby step four, but if you want to not be doing anything because you're saving 100% of it to 3B, that's okay with what we teach too. Okay. Now, how would I calculate that 15% of my take home? 15% of 70 grand. Okay, that's true.

That makes it easy then. And then when I approach baby step 3B, you know, of course, living in California, when it comes to saving for a house, where would I, you know, how do I realistically get ready for that when, you know, the housing prices are so far out there and I'm making, you know, what I make now? It's going to be very difficult. It's very difficult to buy a house in Los Angeles, California, making 60 grand, 70 grand. Very hard.

Can it be done? Yeah. But, I mean, it's one of the most expensive real estate markets in the world. I mean, L.A., Manhattan, Tokyo, London, these are the four big dogs. Paris, you know, I mean, this is it. And so, in terms of expense, San Francisco is right there with it too. So, I mean, it's going to be hard, but you can do it. You're probably going to end up making some other choices, like living further out,

in order to do homeownership with that kind of income. And I wouldn't pause, babysit for, to save up for a house in L.A. making $65,000. I would be putting some to retirement, Sean. So I would be doing that. Because it's going to be a while. It's going to take a while. It's going to be a while. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.

Thank you for joining us. If you like this show, we could use some help. Share it. Leave a five-star review. Subscribe, follow. All of those little actions sound like they're not much, but they make a big difference in how YouTube or Spotify or Apple or radio ratings all work. It's a big deal. And we know a bunch of you are sharing the show and telling people about it.

Thank you. Because all our ratings and indicators, all our statistics tell us there's a whole bunch of new people this year. So thank you. And it had to come from you because we don't spend $300 million on advertising for the show.

And we don't own any football stadiums like SoFi or somebody like that. Excuse me. I've got allergies. All right. And Leslie is in Lynchburg. Hey, Leslie, what's up? Hi, Mr. Ramsey and Rachel. Thanks so much for taking my call today.

Sure. I am 43. I'm single, and my income is around $53,000 a year. I work in the social work field. I currently have $100,000 in student loan debt that I'm going to be tackling. The reality of it is, for me, it's going to take, like if I'm throwing everything at it, it's going to take me between five and six years on my income. And is that really prudent?

Like my employer currently matches my 401k at 6%. Is it really prudent for me to miss that 6% given my age and, you know, my circumstances? Yes. Yes. Yes. It's the only way to do it because here's what's going to happen. The more you fret about the retirement not getting funded, the more you're going to sacrifice and the more you're going to take extra jobs and the more you're going to live on beans and rice and you're going to do it in three and a half or four years instead of five.

Okay. Because part of your issue is you do need to do something to get your income up while you work on this. See, if you had a fabulous side hustle, and I don't know, it may even be something in the social work field. I don't know what that is necessarily, but if you can pick up some private casework or something and add $20,000, and it's an uncomfortable number of hours that you're working, but $20,000 added to this equation a year would cut the whole deal in half.

It'd cut it from five years to two and a half years. Okay. And that's how I want you thinking, and the fact that you're frustrated about not putting money into the retirement, which you should be because I agree with you. It's scary, and it's bad to be missing out on the match, and it would drive me a little crazy. But that's one of the reasons we use that process.

We use that tension in the air to cause you to get deeper and deeper and deeper and more and more and more on your sacrifice more and more and more intense Rachel yeah and it's just and I think Leslie like just knowing okay this money that say you were still funding retirement you would see that 6% whatever that match is that you go up to that is money that could have been paying towards the debt so I think even mapping that out to say okay what if i pause retirement how much faster would i get out of debt if i had a great side hustle and all of it like map of the plans because i think there's you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel and i don't think pausing for three to four years is going to be detrimental

to you i know even at your age at 43 it's not i mean if you're 65 and we were talking about this that's more of the like oh my gosh it'd be even more scary as you just feel the weight of it more I know even at your age at 43, it's not. I mean, if you were 65 and we were talking about this, that's more of the like, oh, gosh. It would be even more scary. You just feel the weight of it more. But you're still young. You're good. Do you have any money in retirement right now? Yeah, it's about 20.

Okay. And how long have you had this debt? I went to school later in life, so um about five seven years okay so i rest my case this debt's been laying around languishing for five years already yeah and um but and what moves the needle on the debt is you getting unbelievably angry at the debt and visceral about it. You know, like when you're dealing with someone in your world, in the social work world, when they need to have a huge life transformation because the way they're behaving is not working, they have to change. Then they need to do that with a level of intensity life transformation doesn't happen um gradually or with ease it's not an intellectual thing it's a primal thing you know what i'm saying in your world you observe that the people that

that get better in their social interactions, whether it's with their family or whatever you're doing, they get really sick and tired of being sick and tired. They're growling. They're howling at the moon. It's very, ah, right? And that has not happened yet for you on this 100,000. That's why it's still sitting there.

And so that's what I'm kind of prescribing is this deep guttural almost uh thing where i'm just like i've had it i'm sick and tired of this you know that kind of thing you get that thing going down inside you get that version of leslie going yeah and i think that there'll be no stopping leslie that that the way your life has looked for five years five to six years with this debt it's going to have to look different in the future in order to clean it up because if you keep doing what you've been doing you're gonna keep getting what you've been getting so i think just kind of that pep talk in the mirror of like all right it's it's summer of 23 until summer of 25 like it it's, I'm doing this. And time goes quick too. That's the other thing. Yes, the sacrifice is not fun. Working long hours, you're going to be exhausted,

but you're going to look up and be like, okay, it's been two years. Like I did it. And the more you sacrifice, Leslie, your time by working, the more, again, probably not a ton of sacrifice in your lifestyle because, you know, it's not like you're making a hundred grand. So there's going to be some tension though. And that's okay because it's for a period of time. And I'm telling you, the more intense you get with it, the more focused you get, like what he's saying, that's when you're going to see this progress.

So you're doing incredible work just in the world. So that amount. And I want freedom for you, Leslie. I want you to have a level where you're not stressed and this level of control over your income and your life. So you deserve it. You do. Yeah. Be rewarded for all your hard work. Yeah. You work too hard to be broke and you're doing too much good to be broke. And just keep telling yourself that it's a, it's a, it's a thing've got to get into here.

And, you know, this whole, guys out there, this whole student loan thing, there's a lot of different dynamics that are happening, not only with the Biden administration forgiving and then the Trump administration pausing and the Biden administration forgiving and then not forgiving and then the Supreme Court. And then Biden comes out and announces a new plan, which is a worse version of the plan that was already in place before he even got in office. Now you can stand up for 25 years and hope for forgiveness.

This is the new plan they announced last week, which is just so ridiculously laughable that it just sounds like the federal government the idiocy that comes out of washington dc it's just idiocy and that's not a political party thing there's just a there's a ton of idiocy coming out of there and it's got d's and r's on it and so you know you just got you guys got to look up and not depend on that that's one of the variables going on but the other variable if you just set aside all of the Washington garbage and the hyperbole and the rhetoric and all that, and you just say, gosh, I make $53,000 a year.

I'm 43 years old. I got $100,000. If you just lay those three numbers out there in her life, I know exactly what that means. It feels that $100,000 is a big mountain, and it feels like it can't be climbed. It feels like, or if it is, it's going to take so long. And that sense of that little tinge of hopelessness that is normal

when you have numbers where the number is so big that it steals a little bit of your hope. And you think the only light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. That keeps you from getting started. And sometimes the most important thing is to start. And then the next most important things turn up the heat. And then the next most important things turn up the heat you know and then the next most important things turn it up again we talk about how health and money are parallelists that are following this doctor guy on instagram and he posted today he said uh 90 for 95 percent of you not being where you want to be healthy wise is your mind wow your body will follow yeah and there it's that

decision making you guys it's so powerful it's so powerful and money and i was watching the arnold schwarzenegger uh documentary good first the first one was a bodybuilder he talked about the exact same thing your mind and your body will follow yep this is the ramsey show reginald cruz ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage Amanda is with us hi Amanda how are you I'm good how are you guys better than we deserve where do you live uh Wentzville Missouri yeah which is near St. Louis oh okay outside St. Louis cool well welcome to Nashville thank you good to have you and all the way down here to do it debt-free scream how How much you paid off?

$36,850. Way to go. How long did that take? About 27 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? I was at about 49 to 65. Good for you.

Cool. What do you do for a living? I'm a licensed veterinary technician. Oh, yeah. Good. That's fun. Yeah. And what kind of debt was the $37,000?

I mean, all kinds of things. A bed, a car, personal loans That's fun. Yeah. And what kind of debt was the $37,000? I mean, all kinds of things. A bed, a car, personal loans, medical debt. An air conditioner unit is kind of what started everything. Living life. Pretty much. And it's all on the card. That's right. Wow. You were normal.

Basically. Yeah. So what happened 27 months ago, two and a half years ago? Well, two years prior to that, I got a divorce in 2018 after being married for 20 years. Amicable, so that all went fine. But two years after that, I had refinanced the house and all those kinds of things. And, you know, just your basic house stuff, the air conditioner unit failed, and I needed a new one. And I was already

had other debt obviously and i had to put it on credit and got guilt tripped a little bit from some family members of like oh well why'd you do that and are they with you today no no no it's not them so i mean that's somebody that loves you that guilt tripped that okay so it just kind of got the ball rolling of just being fed up basically of just not being able to make ends meet not having an emergency fund not having any of those things so you know the stress of that and I was on a single income so it was just me I didn't didn't have the ability to rely on a second income so I had to figure out what I needed to do for me. Good for you.

That's amazing. So during this time, what would you say were the things that were the most helpful? So people listening right now that were like, okay, my numbers are matching up with hers. I wonder what are the things she did that she saw a lot of progress? I mean, really, it was my brother-in-law got me kind of started on the night of the air conditioner purchase. He's, I was all upset about, you know, the family being upset of me doing that. So he asked me to come over. They lived like two minutes across the way. And I went over and he started talking to me about budgeting and talked about your total money makeover book and is like,

I'm going to get you this book. I want you to read it. He showed me how he did his budget on Excel. I kind of went from there. So shout out to Greg. But I read the book within probably about a week and it just was common sense. I mean, it was just very simple to follow and easy steps to maneuver through. So I just, I was already halfway to the emergency fund pretty much so took me about two months to save that and then I um just started tackling just smallest to largest just as you guys say and you know little wins basically chipping away chipping away chipping away 27 months making that's a lot yeah you made a lot 49,000 you pay I mean that that's a lot and that was that was my a lot and that was that was my lowest pay because that was right at the start of the pan you know like we were kind of in

the midst of the pandemic and um our hours i'm an oncology um technician so i do chemo for animals so we had to be segregated from the rest of the hospital and they had to cut our hours quite a bit so i mean we lost probably eight hours a paycheck, which, you know, doesn't sound like a lot. No, that is a lot. It's a lot. So we lost a little bit of money, but thankfully with my job, they give amazing bonuses. They offer double time, time and a half.

Wow. They want people to like work there. Be working, yes. Is that mostly what you did, the side stuff? That was the biggest part of it, minus just all the COVID bonuses from them and obviously the government bonuses. I put every single penny of anything extra went right to it.

I didn't spend it on anything extra or, you know, lavish in the government's handout. I just didn't. I was just like, I'm just going to pay off all the debt. So then, yeah, I mean, I just worked through it that way. And then I pet sat for some co-workers um throughout that time i didn't even incorporate that probably in there that much but a portion of it was pet sitting for co-workers and whatnot good for you yeah that's amazing yeah what was the one debt that you paid off that you were like that feels the best that you're like

probably the personal loan yeah Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So when, this is interesting. I'm just watching you and listening to your body. I'm watching your body language and listening to you. I get the sense that when stuff comes at you, you just lean into it, that that's your nature. Yeah. And there wasn't like this panic moment. It's like, this just sucks and i'm tired of it yeah i just needed a plan i mean that was basically what i needed i needed somebody

to point me in a direction and i mean i'm great at following directions so it it just kind of fell in sync game on yeah okay so there wasn't a there wasn't really a freak out moment it was more of a just like just a disgust moment and game on. Okay. Yeah. Because I mean, we all react differently to these kinds of things when crap comes at us like this, you know? Yeah. You just kind of get in panic mode where you're like, oh, man, I got to come up with this amount to add to what I'm already paying and other debts.

And, you know, and then just to pay off the car and like all those things like you like you say, oh, everyone thinks you got to live with a car payment, but don't I mean you don't have to live with any of it it's all personal choice of what you decide to spend your money on yeah and I'm a spender like Rachel yeah girl I feel you I knew I liked you so what uh what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is um sticking to a plan um saying no to all the coworkers who eat out lunch every single day. I bring my lunch every day to this date. I might eat out maybe once every couple months, if that, but I just can't stand the fees these days. I don't know, not listening to the masses of everybody, trying to put their input in.

Like you always say, they don't really get a say in what I choose to do. I heard a guy say yesterday, don't follow the masses because the M might be silent. That's a good one. That's funny. Well done. Good stuff, Amanda. Proud of you. We got the Live and Give box for you, the Baby Steps Millionaires book, because that's

the next chapter in your story. You are on your way. You have a whole different vision for things than you did. And, hey, way to do it, too, just as a single woman. You just decided. I mean, I just think I just always commend people that just, you did it on your own, you know, and that's something to be really proud of.

Amen. Really proud of. You are a hero, for sure. Thank you. We're proud of you. It's awesome. Yeah, Total Money Makeover book as well, which you got the whole thing started for you.

You'll be able to give it away when somebody comes across the street with an air conditioner bill. Yeah. And the Financial Peace University membership. If you haven't done that yet, do it because that'll help you. Yeah, I haven't. That'll help you get in gear on the moving on to the next step to the wealth. I mean, just getting free is one thing, but getting free so that you can be generous and become wealthy. That's the whole deal.

I'm proud of you. Well done, Amanda. All right. Who was it came to cheer you on over here? I got my dad, my boyfriend, Mike, and my sister. All right. Well, they're all cheering you on. We can tell.

We can tell that they are Camp Amanda, without a doubt. Good stuff. Good stuff. All right. Amanda from St. Louis, $37,000 paid off as a veterinarian tech, 27 months it took, making $49,000 to $65,000 all by herself. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one.

I'm debt-free. Yeah. That's how you do it, ladies and gentlemen st louis i'm just saying wow very cool very cool i mean there is an advantage to doing this on your own because you don't have to talk anybody into it but the disadvantage is you're doing it on your own that's right right it's it's the it's the double-edged sword either situation. But there is something about which it sounds like she had such great community around her. But part of that is not being lonely in the process, because I think it can be isolating. If you're like, am I crazy? You kind of start to feel like, am I the only one in this?

And so when you have people around you to cheer you on, it is. But there's, I think, even that much more of a good pride, a healthy pride. You're like, I did that. I did that. I think it's awesome. It's a big story she's walked through the past few years, and she's chosen to just absolutely own it, and it's incredible. Absolutely incredible.

She happened to it. It didn't happen to her. That's right. I like it. I like it. That's a victor, not a victim. This is The Ramsey Show. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. Audrey's in Lansing, Michigan. Hey, Audrey, what's up? Hi, thank you for taking my call. I really appreciate it. Hey, Audrey, what's up? Hi. Thank you for taking my call. I really appreciate it. Sure. How can we help?

So my husband and I are facing a little bit of like a moral dilemma. We were just kind of looking for an outside opinion on it. So we work at the same place right now. It's, um, a family business in the sense that a lot of my family works there. Most of the people who work there I'm related to. Um, we make a low income there right now. Um, and it's, it's not what either of us want to be doing long-term. I really want to go to college and he wants to be a chef. Um, but if we leave them, we're leaving them in a really bad position. Our business, it didn't do well last year. So we're just wanting to make sure that we're not being selfish

or just trying to navigate what's the right thing to do. Okay. Does your family or his family own the business? No. My uncle is the manager of this part of the business. The business as a whole my family does not own. Okay. So that would relieve a lot of moral dilemma. I'm not sure there's a moral dilemma anyway,

but anyway, it would relieve a lot of the relational pressure. You're not harming your family. Only the company needs your help, but they can't afford you anymore. Yeah, we make enough to where we pay our bills. They never could have afforded you because you make a low income. Yeah, we can pay our bills. You told me you wanted to leave because you had a low income yeah we we we can pay our bills you told me you wanted to leave because you had a low income now don't back out on it yeah that's what you said i didn't say it yeah yes sir okay how old are you guys audrey uh we're both 22. What do you make?

A little under $4,000 a month. Each? Combined? Combined. I can only work two days a week. I have a one-year-old, so I'm at home with him most of the time. Okay. So they're going to lose a part-time employee that they hardly pay anything, and they're going to lose an employee that's 22 years old.

Yes, sir. I think they'll be okay. Okay. Where are you feeling pressure, Audrey? Have there been conversations or you guys are just reading the story and thinking, oh, gosh, if we leave? Is there outside pressure? Is there anyone else in the family that's like, Audrey you can't you can't do this move um not really in that sense uh it's just a lot of people have left recently even though like it's such an amazing business environment and everyone's

awesome it's just a lot of people have left and we don't want to be another couple people to I guess hurt everybody because once people leave, everyone else has had to pick up so much of the slack. We just don't want to be. So I hear you. I hear you. And I commend your selflessness, your heart around this. I think it's a very gracious mindset that you're in.

But also, Audrey, you and your husband need to go live your own lives. If this is a decision that you guys want to make for you all, you can't be dependent upon how everyone else is going to feel in your life. There's a point you have to get, and that's not being unkind. The way you leave could be unkind, right?

So you can be gracious in how you do that. But the decisions you make in your life, they have to be for you. Lots of notice with a smile, with gratitude for the time I've been here.

But I want to give you plenty of notice because I know we've lost some other folks and I don't want to leave you guys in a lurch. So we're going to give you a lot of notice.

Maybe a month notice instead of two weeks or instead of two minutes. Okay. So that's a lot of class. And the second thing is I got a lot of class on it. It's just gratitude. Thank you so much for what you've meant to us early in our lives here. And then can I have permission to be mean for a second?

Yes, sir. Okay. If this business is dependent upon a 22-year-old and a part-time 22-year-old to make it, it's not going to make it. If you're the last thing that when you step out causes this thing to fold up like a tent, it wasn't going to make it anyway, honey. Yeah. I think they will yeah i think we're probably just yeah y'all are being very sensitive yeah you're just being very sensitive and i just what i'm trying to say there is not to put you guys down but i'm trying to say that you're if if it comes down to uh one or two people inside of Ramsey being here or not being here, whether Ramsey folds up tent or whether Ramsey doesn't make it,

then we probably weren't going to make it anyway. And they've been through a hard season. I hear you saying that. A lot of people have left. So, yeah, they're feeling more and more pressure. So you're more and more insensitive to that, which is. And you've heard the family all talks about the ones that left and you don't want to be one of those. But you're getting ready to be.

And that's OK. And you can't you can't be responsible for how someone else decides to interpret all of this. You're not being mean. You're not being mean. You're not being unethical. You're not being unkind. You're not being greedy. You're not being any of those things. And in in anybody that tries to put that on you guys is not telling the truth.

OK, so I would go in with you and your husband, sit down with your uncle, who's the manager and say, Hey, we're going to move on. How can we do that in a way that is the kindest to you and to this place? Because we're so grateful for this place. I mean, do you want us to give you a month's notice? Do you want us to leave this minute? What is the best thing for you all? Because we're going to move on. Because we can't make any money here. This place is struggling. We have other dreams.

We're 22. My husband has a dream. I have a dream of being a chef. I have a dream of being this. And we're going to go live that dream. And how can we do that that is the kindest to you and to this place? And we want to be classy. Help us to do that.

Teach us. We're young. You're the old wise manager. Teach us how we can be good, how we can leave with class because we're leaving. And if he tries to pull something that causes you to stay, just smile and say, no, we're not going to be able to stay. How can we leave in a way that's going to be the most helpful yep and you may have to repeat yourself a couple of times it sounds like how does that feel audrey um no that yeah i um appreciate uh just knowing that it's not

wrong i i know that my uncle is one of the most amazing people. Tell him that. He'll be very good at it, yeah. Just tell him that. Just say, you know, we admire you so much, the last thing we want to do is hurt you. We think you're one of the most amazing people. But that doesn't change our decision.

Yeah. I mean, I've had people leave here and they go, you know, Dave, you changed my life. And, you know, my family's changed because I got to work at Ramsey and we'll always be friends. And thank you. You're an amazing leader. And tell me things like that as they're leaving.

And then I've had other people give me the bird and walk out the door, you know. So, I mean, it's, you know, but you can you can you can decide who you are. It doesn't change who I am. Right. Doesn't change who your uncle is. You just have to decide who you are. And that's what we're telling you to do yeah and I think it's a and I think it's a healthy exercise for you and your husband you guys are you're feeling this nudge to go do something else

and it takes courage and maybe I mean at 22 I know you know you have a little one and all that but you're continuing to grow into yourself Audrey and into who you guys are as a family, you and your husband. I mean, you're making these adult-like steps, and you're facing adult-like conflict and decisions. And it's scary, and it's uncomfortable. But you're good. You're not morally doing anything wrong. So here I say that. You started this conversation stuck, and I want you to leave this conversation not being stuck.

That's our goal, okay okay you're not stuck wave goodbye with a smile and do it now not in a year thanks for calling in hun open phones at 888-825-5225 you jump in we'll talk about your life and your money you know rachel it's disturbing to me like when we get kicked off a radio station sometimes because they change the format to rock and roll or whatever oh yeah that in like three weeks no one in that city cares it turns out that no it turns out that I mean when you leave people get over it oh I hear you people get over it you know yes people get over it. Oh, I hear you. People get over it, you know? Yes. People get over it.

They manage their lives without you. They're going to be fine. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Rachel Cruz. If you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey baby steps, go to Ramseyaysolutions.com and click the Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation. That's ramsaysolutions.com and click Get Started.