The Ramsey Show - App - You Don't Have A Money Problem, You Have A Marriage Problem (Hour 3)

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, host of The Rachel Cruz Show, and my daughter is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Benjamin is with us in Los Angeles. Hi, Benjamin.

Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? So I'm brand new to trying to get out of debt and change my life. Probably only been listening to you guys for maybe two or three months. And I come from a, like a, a, a not wealthy background. My, my parent, my father doesn't even have a retirement. So I've

got to try to plan to kind of take care of him when he can't start working or stop working. And me and my wife just had twins about seven months ago. Well, congrats. Thanks. But my question stems from, I am trying to start me and my family off with Baby Step 1 of trying to get ourselves out of debt and moving forward, but my wife doesn't fully feel on board to kind of change our living and thinks we're just doing fine

when we're going paycheck to paycheck. And so I'm wondering, you know, how do I kind of get her on board with this idea and help navigating that whole situation? Do you handle most of the finances, Benjamin, in the house? So she won't allow us to combine them. So, um, she has her paycheck that pays our mortgage. Um, and then I am supposed to cover all of the other bills with my paycheck. How old are you guys? Uh, I'm 34. And how long have you been married uh four years and she's how old she's 23

and you've been married four years oh sorry she's 24 we got married when she was 20 okay 20 our 10-year difference age-wise? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, she's probably not feeling, because she said she's not feeling the paycheck to paycheck, and she's probably not if she's making a better income and her only bill is the mortgage and she's just living her life. And you're the one that's feeling more of the tension.

And so I think that's an issue in and of itself that i think would be fair for you to sit down and and talk about the it's the why behind benjamin i mean that's what we always say to start with and your why of wanting to do this is what because you're stressed because you're scared if something happens like you know you're not going to take care of this family like what's the what's the why for you from wanting to even engage a different process financially? Um, I mean the why for the wife for me is just that I, um, we just had, we just had kids and like my car needs some work. Um, I have picked up a second. I've started hanging TVs and doing contract IT work in order to put stuff together. Yeah, so what normally happens when someone first finds a stuff

and they start getting really excited about what their future could look like if they were out of debt and in control with their money because they're in debt and out of control with their money, and they run into their spouse all excited and jumping up and down in the kitchen and say, I'm going to sell your car. Right? They run into the kitchen all excited, jumping up and down, start talking about what we need to do.

We need to get on a budget. We need to cut our spending. We need to get in control. And you start talking about the what, and Rachel was saying, you probably led with the what, and if you you did that you're normal by the way that happens a lot and if you led with the what you've turned my name into a cuss word in your house got you okay okay instead reset go in and say honey i approach this whole subject that's really important to me poorly with you i goofed and how i approached you with it and i'm really sorry you owe her an

apology then reset and say and the reason i'm so excited about this stuff. And I think it's really important for us to work together is because I'm scared to death. We've got two kids. I'm out hanging freaking TVs at 34 years old because I'm scared and our money's out of control. And it's and I don't see a good future of us running this household separately. I don't see a good future if we keep doing things the way we've been doing them. And I don't like it the way it is, and it's really bothering me. And when I found this stuff, it gave me a little bit of hope, and I got a little too excited maybe.

But, honey, I can't keep going like this. This is killing me. That's a why. Yeah. That's a why yeah that's a why i want to be a good dad i want to provide for our children i want to retire with several million dollars and sit on a golden rocking chair that's a why not we got to sit down we got to get on a budget we got to get this stuff going we need to work these baby steps those are what's okay and if she hears your heart and then turns a cold shoulder to you you don't have a money problem you've got a marriage problem the phrase you use a lot used a while ago ran a chill down my spine.

My 23-year-old wife won't allow, you said. Yeah. To which I almost laughed. Okay? That's how crazy that is. On either side. Yeah. She says my husband, because we, Benjamin, we get on people that say, yeah, if there's a lady husband because we Benjamin my husband won't allow

yeah if there's a lady that calls him my husband won't allow I've been married 43 years if my wife if I told my wife I wouldn't allow her to do something I'd wake up dead you wouldn't wake up well so so Benjamin honestly I think that first part's important the why and any spouse this is true with anyone that we get a call if you can't go to your spouse and say here's my fear and it's vulnerable right here here's my fears here's um what is scaring me here's what i what i'm excited about here's what i think could happen like when you do all of that and they still just and some will then again that's a whole that's a marriage topic that's not a money problem you got a marriage problem but then number two benjamin

two you have to paint the vision for her as well show her not just the what or the why but the how so just on a like get a sheet of paper out and just put some numbers down realistically and say hey okay here's what here's why i'm here's what we make here's what we make combined here here are our bills here's our debt you know if we had this much margin we could be completely debt free this that frees up x amount of payments per month 1200 1400 2000 of just payments that we have and if we invested that babe by the time we're 45 like that's what this could look like right like kind of do some do some math and just show her the the the vision on what you've captured it yeah and so and bring her along in that so say the why she might be and the how but if those aren't working then yeah then there's a and she's you know probably exhausted i mean you're you've got seven month old twins oh my gosh i'm surprised

you even put a sentence together it's exhausting So give yourself some grace in all of this. But yeah, for me, it's the why and the how that she needs to hear. Lead with an apology for having done this wrong. And then explain to her, this really matters a lot. And I need you to hear me. And she'll hear you. You'll be okay. This is The Ramsey Show.

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Well, I think it's been almost 20 years ago, I've read a book called Thou Shall Prosper, and I started talking about it on the air, what a wonderful book it was, and the author called me up and he said, who are you? I love you. My book is selling. And he and I became great friends. Rabbi Daniel Lappin and I have been friends for, it's got to be 20 years, isn't it? Get down into that microphone. Get down into it. It's been probably 20 years, yeah yeah i'm thinking almost it's got to be so i see that would be um that'd be 2002 2000 no it's not quite that long it's probably 15 years something like that anyway i don't know brand new book came out uh oddly enough uh rabbi is a orthodox jewish rabbi and the book thou shalt prosper is his main are the book that made you yeah in terms of uh in

terms with your help uh well it's a fabulous book. It's one of my top ten faves of all time. And so I ended up writing the foreword when you reissued it later. Yes. But this book came out, the new book, The Holistic You, Integrating Your Family, Finances, Faith, and Friendship, and Fitness, sadly came out October the 8th by an Orthodox Jewish rabbi after October the 7th.

Really bad timing, rabbi. Awfully bad timing. You know, you can't rely on Hamas to get anything right. Okay, I'm with you on that. I like it. So good stuff. So you taught us in Th shall prosper so thoroughly to not be ashamed of earning yes as a result of serving i think one of the one of my favorite quotes was if you do a good

job for folks in business they give you certificates of appreciation with president's faces on them right and um so you've written a lot of best-selling books about money and business and other practical life lessons that are woven all through there uh from the hebrew bible what we call the old testament and as christians and you call the bible and that's where you and i have had a lot of common ground a lot of wonderful discussions yes uh fireside and over dinners with our wives and everything else. We've just become great friends. And so what is it that the holistic you goes into that you haven't done in these other books?

Yeah, it's the 30,000-foot view. It's zooming out a little bit and relating to the idea that our lives are actually a complex system. It's not as if these are separate components. In just the same way, nobody would say, you know, your heart is one thing and your liver is something else and your lungs are something else. You know, you go into your heart specialist and say, look, this is what you need. Take this medicine. It's great.

You know, it's going to wreck your kidney function, but it's going to be great for your heart. You get out of there as quickly as you can because I want a doctor who sees the whole me, not just a little part of me. And our lives are very much like that as well. We had a woman who became a coaching client of ours who came to us because she said she's done everything right. She did really well at college. She got into the business school of her choice. She focused. She graduated top in business administration. She came out with a really great MBA. And she says other people who didn't perform nearly at her level were getting much better job offers than she was.

And that alerted her to the fact that there's something real going on. What's going wrong is that while some of her colleagues were attending birthday parties or celebrations, connecting with other people, building up their own personalities, in the final analysis, when you interview somebody for a job, you're not just looking at grades and GPAs from college. There's a subtle emotional psychological connection that is the result of everything that you have done with your life because everything you do contributes to making you who you are. So here's a girl who's terrific, I mean, very, very accomplished, but only unidimensionally.

She was excellent academically. I mean, she could do a bond yield analysis in her head. I mean, she was really, really good. But her relational IQ was just not there. But the rest of the – it just wasn't, she couldn't talk about anything else. She didn't have any hobbies. She didn't have any interests. She'd really deliberately neglected

all the other aspects of her life. So that's why we condensed the complexity of a human life into the five fundamentals of family, finance, faith, fitness, and friendships. One of the things that Rachel, I do a lot of controversial things, as you know. Oh, I'm shocked. I preach financial heresy all the time to the financial Pharisees out there. But Rachel is not as nearly as controversial.

She's more likable. People love Rachel. But the one thing that she gets the most hate on is when she suggests, dares to suggest that couples combine their finances and not run them separately. And she actually used a phrase pretty similar to what you've used here in the book, that if you can share a bed, you can share a bank account. And she's exactly right. Yes, and we go further.

We say you have to. We do too. That's exactly right. Yes, and we go further. We say you have to. We do too. That's absolutely essential. Yeah, so walk through that because we talk about this a lot. Why is it so essential? Even just two segments ago, we had this exact call. We get this call once or twice a show sometimes about a spouse. Not only are fewer and fewer people getting married now,

but many who are getting married aren't acting like it are acting and and also unsure whether they're roommates or marriage yeah that's what I mean there are they aren't acting like they're married there's a proliferation of lawyers drawing a prenup contract yeah I mean that's a fine way to go into a marriage and again you know if it's a second marriage or third marriage there lots of assets and children, you know, complexities exist. But ordinarily, when a young couple marries, you would have thought it would be with a wholehearted bonding. We're not talking roommates.

We're talking. Okay, this is really, really important stuff. And the reason that you have to share the bank account as well as the bed, and frankly, leaving one is just as ridiculous as omitting the other. But the reason there is because there's something very different about how men and women typically relate to money. Not that a woman doesn't enjoy earning money, not that a woman can't be particularly good at her career and excel at it, but it doesn't do anything directly to her sexual feminine identity. When a man makes money, it is a very intrinsic masculine related thing to him.

And the evidence of that, of course, is the reverse. Unfortunately, we've seen places, regions, where steel as an industry has collapsed. And one of the things we know, unfortunately, is that when a male loses the capacity to earn money, loses a job, heaven forbid, there is almost inevitably a sexual dysfunction that accompanies that. It's almost inevitable. Never with a woman. When a woman loses a job,

it's painful, it's problematic, she's worried, she is embarrassed, but it doesn't hurt. But the way money is identified with us is different. And so learning to work as a team, though, is crucial in the unity of the marriage to say, hey, we both are in this together and we are coming at it wholeheartedly into this marriage. So every part of our marriage, to your point, from my health, the way I want to raise my kids, all of that has to be in line with my husband, right? And together we see it and we're a team. I've got to say, you know, maybe as many of the people who get upset when you speak about these things are people who've sort of almost lost contact with their essential feminine natures. And it's easy to do. Men can lose contact with their masculine natures and become incapable.

A lot of the people in the news on campuses today um are are right there do you see the um because i do hear from specifically on the women's side of hearing this message if something happens i have to make sure that i protect myself it's almost this fear um elements there and then for the guy you know you know different reasons why but i do yeah i think that is it is so key okay you also talk about, I want to get this in before break, this work-life balance aspect too and how key that is. Yeah. So that actually is not what we talk about because we figure out anybody who can work a spreadsheet can draw up a work-life balance. There you go.

That's not hard. Happy anniversary. How many years you been married? Not telling you because if I tell you, then you're going to know how old the wife is. But let's say it's over 44 years and below 46 years. Okay. There you go. I can probably figure that one out.

I'm a math guy. Rabbi Daniel Lappin, the new book is called The Holistic You, Integrating Your Family, Finances, Faith, Friendships, and Fitness. Anything this guy writes, I recommend. He's a good friend and an incredible thought leader. Be sure and check it out. This is The Ramsey Show. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, so I was born and raised in Texas

and I love the myth of the lone cowboy. You know, the guy who doesn't need anyone or anything. It's a fun story, and it's a lie. In our self-obsessed society, we're obsessed about our own diets, our own workout routines, our own jobs, our own social media feeds, everything. It's easy to forget that no one can do life alone. And I don't care if you're an introvert, an extrovert, or whatever you want to call yourself, we all have to have a community and a support system to do life with. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all by ourselves to knowing that we can only be well and whole when we ask for help. Therapy can be a great source of help and support for any area of your life.

And if you're thinking about starting therapy, try BetterHelp. BetterHelp is 100% online therapy, so it can fit with your schedule. To get started, just fill out a short online survey to get matched with a licensed therapist. And if it's not the right fit, you can switch therapists at any time for no extra cost. This month, start to build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Ramsey Radio to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Ramsey Radio. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, and my daughter is my co-host today. The best way to make the most of your money is by doing it on purpose.

That's called a plan, being intentional. In the money world, we call that a budget. Every dollar is our world-class budgeting app, the best budgeting app in the world, and it makes it simple to plan your spending track your expenses and hit your baby steps and move through and level up you can keep a pulse on your spending and share everything with your spouse make progress on your money goals with every dollar download every dollar for free in the app store or go to google play and do it or you can even go to every dollar.com and find everything you need tyler's in pennsylvania hi tyler welcome to the ramsey show hey how are you guys doing better than we deserve what's up in your world uh not much but to get the long story short i'm 28

uh full-time truck driver started a side business about eight months ago that works out on the road. The only debt I have is $200,000 on a mortgage and $8,500 left on a camper loan. My mortgage is roughly $1,400 a month. I'm paying $2,500 a month. And the camper is $280 a month, but I'm trying to pay that off in the next six to seven months with like a $1,250 monthly payment on it. The question is, once I pay the camper off, should I use that $1,250 and put it right on the mortgage or start reinvesting back in the 401k that I've postponed for the last couple of years.

Stop paying extra on your mortgage. Throw all the money you can find anywhere in your budget at the camper and get it paid off quicker than you were planning to. Once it's paid off, you need to have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. That's what we call baby step three. You're debt-free then, everything but your house, and you have three to six months of expenses. Then baby step four is what you said. Start your 401k back over. Start it again and 15% of your income needs to be going into your 401k. Make it a Roth if you can and put

it in good mutual funds. And then any money you find beyond the 15% going into the 401k with no payments now but a house payment, now we start throwing extra money at the mortgage. But only after the camper is gone, you've got the 401k restarted and the emergency fund in place. Only then do you do that. Jillian is in Atlanta. Hi, Jillian. How are you? Hi, I'm good.

Thank you. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Thanks for taking my call. I am calling because I make too much money to live paycheck to paycheck and I need help getting back on track and I don't know what I'm missing here. How much money do you make? I combined $148,000, my husband and I. Okay. Good for you. Have you guys written out a budget?

Do you know where your money's going every month? Have you realized, oh my gosh, there's so much payments, like you're seeing it happen and you're just trying to slow it down, or you don't even know that? I don't even know that. I't even know that i've been attempting a budget and then i just got every dollar but because i'm coming into it in the middle of the month it's kind of still a little confusing yeah so i don't know where everything's going we're not like living lavishly no you can disorganize your way out of 150150,000. Yeah. Yeah. How much debt do you guys have, Jillian?

$35,000. Okay. What's it in? $5,000 in student loans and $30,000 is my husband's truck. How much is that car payment a month? $675,000. Okay. What's your house payment house payment is two thousand okay nothing you're giving me here that is out of control i mean we've got some goals we need to pay off the truck and the

student loan but nothing here is screaming stupid so it sounds like mathematically that your biggest problem is you guys are just not telling your money what to do. We always laugh and say a budget is telling people telling their money what to do instead of wondering where it went. You've just been wondering where it went. And now you woke up and you're disgusted with that, which is a really cool place for you. That means you're getting ready to change your life. Yes. And so the second reason why I'm calling today my husband is going to start getting

you're you're muffling you need to speak direct into your phone i can't hear you the second reason you call me is what my husband is about to start getting monthly bonuses oh good on top of his salary and so i want to make sure that we don't just mix that into everything that disappears every month i want to be intentional with it and you need to be intentional with all of it yeah yes yeah yeah yeah do you guys do you guys have a regular salary or is it commission-based besides just the regular salary regular okay well that's the easiest part of budgeting honestly for so many people the irregular income is where they get really tripped up so so yeah so we're in may right now in the middle of the month you're right so i would

i would be looking and saying okay in, in June, here's our budget. And you have your income, and I'm glad you have every dollar, minus all of your expenses, including giving. And there'll be some savings. Do you guys have any savings at all? $5,000 in a CD. Okay. So I would take that down to $1,000

and go ahead and put a lot of this towards your student loan. And that's pretty much knocked out at that point, which is great. And then, yeah, you're going to be tracking, Jillian, like every single thing that you spend money on. And I would go back to, you know, April, February, March, like go back some months and see on average, what are you spending on groceries? On average, what are you guys spending out to eat? Like get some averages and plug those into every dollar. But remember, those numbers were numbers when you weren't budgeting. So you're going to be able to say, oh my gosh, we spent that much going out to eat. Well, if we cut that completely out, maybe that'll take it down, you know, the student loan down to 500 because that'll

be $500 we're not spending out to eat. We're going to put that towards the student loan. Your grocery budget, again, this is when you're not budgeting so you're just going and kind of getting what you want to say okay what could we limit there and you're going to start to see all these things trickle in of oh my gosh this is where it's going and you're going to be able to shore it up and because you guys have this truck payment and this debt I mean I would go through that every dollar budget and start cutting columns cutting these categories on the app that you don't need and to say and in lowering we're gonna hit this truck we're gonna hit this truck and the great thing about every dollar is

it's going to show you at the top what's left and so you're going to find some margin julian you really will and you're going to start to see that number grow grow grow and you just think if we put that much towards the truck this is where and you start to actually see you're going to start to see that number grow, grow, grow. And you just think if we put that much towards the truck, this is where, and you start to actually see it happening. But you got to see those hard numbers first and foremost. So go back a few months and average out some of these categories. And I think that's really going to help you

see somewhat of a goal to shoot for. I think as you get good at this, and it's going to take you a little bit to get good at it, you're going to put $3,000 a month on the truck and the truck is going to be paid off in about 10 months that's what i think okay so here's your here's your rules you and your husband sit down turn the television off put the kids to bed get the every dollar app up on the screen and start telling june what to do you guys get to choose together what it's going to do. You lay it all down, and then you stick to the plan that you laid out.

The first month, you're not going to be very good at this. The reason you called us is you suck at this, and you're learning. Okay? The second month, you're going to be a little bit better. The third month, you're going to be a little bit better. The third month, you're going to feel like a budget pro. It's going to take three months before it all clicks. Okay. Okay.

Give yourself a little grace. It's tense to sit and talk to your spouse about this when you never have. Expect some tension in the area. Give yourself a breathe. Breathe. breathe breathe okay smile tell a joke and so um you know begin to lay it out and every dollar has an assignment before the month begins and it's not going to be perfect the first month, and we're going to do it together, and we're going to have a contract between the two of us that we're not going to violate this plan that we have both agreed to without coming back and changing it together.

You might have to change it a time or two. Yeah, you probably will change it throughout the month, so give yourself that leeway, but you guys agree on that. You have to agree on it. You can't just come in and go, honey, I changed it today. No, that doesn't work that way. Okay? We're going to do it together it's very very important when you do that you're going to feel the stress and the anxiety and the relationship leave the air as well as this sense of out of control and chaos it's amazing how powerful this one simple tool is. This is The Ramsey Show.

Our scripture of the day, Romans 12.2, do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Andy Warhol says, they always say time changes things, but actually you have to change them yourself. Kelsey is in Indianapolis.

Hi, Kelsey. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thank you so much for taking my call. I appreciate it. Sure. What's up in your world? I'm going through a divorce right now. In the past year, since August, I started my first full-time job, saving up for me and my little girl.

And I have currently saved, since August, a little over $15,000 in cash. Good for you. I have no debt, no credit cards. It's funny, this old man said to do baby steps, and guess what? He was right. So I don't have any legal obligations or anything as well when it comes to divorce. My question is, with the cash that I have set, it's currently in a share certificate, which will mature in September. And when it matures, it'll be around $20,000, if not a little more. My question is, I know you prefer people to save up for 20% on a home mortgage,

but as of right now where I stand legally and with no two years of W-2s, I'm not able to find a cosigner on an apartment or qualify by myself for an apartment. I'm currently living with my family. It's not the best emotional and verbal situation. I've been here during the three years of this legal separation and divorce. So my question is, is it okay if I put 10% or 15% down, which would be the $20,000, and get a home and have a payment that's roughly $1,200 a month? Kelsey, if you can't qualify for an apartment, you can't qualify for a home.

So your logic is broken. But to answer your question, if you have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses plus a down payment of 5%, 10%, sure, go ahead and buy in that case. That's all fine but you're and yes you do need to get out of there but there are plenty of places in indianapolis that will rent to a person who has twenty thousand dollars in the bank that does not have two years of w2s lots of them you've been told a lie by someone because we regularly survey the apartment community. George Campbell did one not long ago for his podcast where he called around to different apartments in different cities and said, I have a zero credit score. I'm brand new out of college.

I don't have a job track record, but I have a job. I can prove the job to you. Will you rent to me? And they said, sure. Some of them required a little larger deposit, but every one of them except one said no FICO score is fine and not two years of W-2s. All of that is the – so someone's been telling you this, and it's not true.

Okay. all of that is the so someone's been telling you this and it's not true okay i've put in three applications for apartments and been denied every time saying that i need a co-signer well what happens to kelsey so what what we have found though is sometimes you have to call and actually ask for a management position someone that has a bandwidth to be able to or have decision making rights that the person in the front office who may just be going through the applications doesn't have so we do we have found that that you have to find you don't just fill out applications blindly go in and sit down and talk to them and say here's the situation okay i went through a divorce i've been working i'll show you the w-2 for what i'm doing i'll show you proof of job. And here's my certificate. I've got $15,000 in the bank.

And they'll rent to you. They'll rent to you. But if you just turn in applications, they'll just turn them down because they don't even look at them. But if you're in a position to buy a home and you do have that down payment and that payment's no more than 25% of your take-home pay, you have your emergency fund and you have all of that set up i mean at that point i would i would go ahead and buy i mean we always say to i'm not sure you do though because i don't think twenty thousand dollars is an emergency fund plus a down payment do you kelsey no it's not i do have three to six months expenses saved outside of the oh you do okay then twenty thousand's fine okay what are you making how much are you making percent how much are you making um

monthly with the child support and my own together it's a little over 3200 a month okay all right i would buy now here's the thing um we do not want to we tell you never take out more than a 15-year mortgage we tell you never do it where the payment's more than a fourth of your take-home pay we do say those things we say it but we do not say the third one is 20 down we say 20 down is best because you avoid pmi but a first-time home buyer or someone in your kind of a situation where you're trying to re-enter the housing market for the first time or re-enter it as if it's the first time uh very few of those people put down 20 okay so i'm okay i'm not going to get spanking by papa dave i just told you yeah that's funny okay that's funny kelsey that's exciting though i mean seriously this is this feels like another great step in the right direction

for you don't do it based on there's no apartments in indianapolis that are rent to you because that part's not true yeah okay that part's not true so because it literally i mean you think an apartment won't rent to you but you can get a mortgage i mean come on that doesn't even make sense so um yeah sit down with churchill mortgage and they'll help guide you through the process. We've been endorsing them for, gosh, almost 30 years now. And they'll help you figure out what you can afford and, you know, start to lay out. And then you may decide to save a little bit more and go get you an apartment and get out of this toxic family situation. But I think you do need to get out of that.

You've gotten far enough the other side of the divorce to recognize there's other things that are toxic that are bringing you harm and you need to separate yourself from that or at least get some distance from it anyway and yeah i think you do need to make that move michaela's with us in minneapolis hi michaela welcome to the ramsey show hello hi what's up so essentially i'm'm calling because I just graduated and my husband and I just have kind of decided to sit down. We've, you know, had conversations about our finances in the past, but really just taking it seriously and there's quite a bit of debt. How much? I'm not really sure where to start. A little over $686,000. On what? Mortgage. How much of this is mortgage? $350,000. You have $300,000 in non-mortgage debt? I have my doctorate. And what? So My student loans were about chiropractic.

Are you working now or you just graduated? Not. I just graduated about a month ago and I'm currently not working. We have a toddler and I'm also about to have our second baby, so I'm staying home for a little bit for that reason. Oh, man, girl. And you signed up for $200,000 to be a chiropractor. Wow.

Yeah. What does your husband make? So it kind of varies. His income is based on, like, his sales. Yeah, what's he make? So I don't really know, like yearly. Like his last, you know, we roughly estimate about $6,000 a month, but it totally varies.

Like some months it's as high as like $10,000 a month. He's probably making $80,000 or $90,000. Okay. Honey, you're going to have to get to work. You painted yourself in a corner. You don't have a lot of choices. I mean, you have a baby, I understand, and you should do that, but you're about to be a chiropractor because you spent $200,000

and you've got to pay $200,000 by being a chiropractor. You made that decision. You can't unring this bell. So you're about to be a chiropractor, and you're probably going to start at $50,000 to $70,000 a year, and if you work your butt off, maybe you can get it up to $110,000. And between the two of you, then you're going to have to 50 to 70 000 a year and if you work your butt off maybe you can get it up to 110 and that's between the two of you then you're going to have to get an attack mode and do and get after these debts um yeah wow uh let's do this let me help you got a baby on the way

and it's a scary time and this is an overwhelming amount of money uh you may not be able to keep this house and you may not be able to keep the cars you bought too uh you guys have made a real royal mess and it's going to come it's there's going to be some pain involved before you turn this around probably some chiropractic metaphors in this so um but um hang. We'll have, who's in there? Kelly's in there. Pick up and get you, I'm just, get you Financial Peace University and help you two get started. And we'll try to help you with this. And you call us back if you need help as you go. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show and the books.

We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Bye.