The Ramsey Show - App - You Have $127K in Student Loans Making $23/Hr (Hour 3)

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Thanks for joining us, America. George Campbell, Ramsey personality, co-host of the Smart Money Happy Hour podcast with Rachel Cruz and host of the George Camel YouTube channel is my co-host today. And today we are announcing the pre-sale of his first book, Breaking Free from Broke. The book will come out in January and on January 16th, to be precise,

and pre-order starts today. You get $100 in free bonus items, includes the audio book, the e-book that you'll get at the time, but guess what? If you order now, you also will get today a copy of Instant Access to his newest talk, Show Me the Money, and exclusive access to an online private event with George talking about the money issues and a Q&A with George as well. And we haven't announced the date on the online private event yet, right? No specific date yet.

We're working on that, but it's going to be big. You have to pre-order to be signed up for that, and that's part of the package, over $100 worth. Now, whenever you buy the book, inside the book are some QR codes that allow you to get three months of every dollar. The premium version with all the sweet features, bank connectivity, paycheck planning, you name it. So we wanted that because it takes 90 days for people to get a budget, and it's a key to breaking free from broke. So we thought, let's just give it to them. So, George, when I read the book, going over the manuscript to approve the thing as the CEO of the company,

which I do, I obviously read our books before we put them out from all of you guys, all your Ramsey personalities. The thing I came back to you with was that it's extremely well-researched, it's fun, it's funny, it's really snarky, which I totally loved. And it kind of made me feel like it was like you know i wrote financial peace in 1992 wow and you know we've done some revised versions of it after that uh we published it with a publisher after coming out of the self-published world in those days in 1996 it was a bestseller. And so four years later, adding chapters to it and polishing it up and getting a professional publisher to help me do it.

In those days, I didn't know what the flip I was doing. But, you know, so but a lot of the information in your book is things that didn't exist in 1992. Like you address crypto. But it's some things that did exist then that we're still struggling with credit card debt car debt uh the toxic things the lies that people believe in the culture but you did it in such a way that um i really think there's going to be a whole lot of people between 22 and 52 they're going to love this book I think some older ones will like it too. Yeah. But especially if you're like me and you like snark, you'll love it. But,

but you know, it's a lot, it's like financial peace for this generation. I appreciate that. It's very kind. And I did try, you know, the first two thirds of the book, I'm really unpacking this broken financial system and all the lies that we were sold and how we got there. And you're right. The problems are different today, Dave. They go to Dave and they go, well, Dave doesn't understand because when he grew up, houses were $30,000. Now they're four. And I try to just be the middleman between you two, between the audience and Dave going, I get it. I understand. Here's what we can do about it. Because the times have changed. It feels harder than ever to get ahead financially. But I'm telling you, the principles still work to this day.

The baby steps still work if you don't screw it up, and I show you how to break free from that system that we've been chained to with our American consumerism. And I hope it's a plan that helps millions of people find this stuff. I think it's going to. Breaking Free from Broke, the ultimate guide to more money and less stress on pre-sale starting today at RamseySolutions.com. Jump in the store, get all of the goodies that will support George, support the marketing efforts for the book. Thank you very, very much.

Marissa is with us in Atlanta. Hi, Marissa. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, how are you? Great. What's up? So my question is, with the student loan repayment starting, my parents and I, like many others, are a little overwhelmed trying to figure out our approach.

So when we took out loans for my school, my parents didn't have great credit, and I didn't have a line of credit. So they took out a plus loan and I'm the third kid that went to school in our family. So they have plus loans for all three of us. And then I have my separate subsidized and unsubsidized loan under my name. My question is, should I have the parent plus loan transferred to my name and refinance it to take the burden off of my parents because we're just trying to figure out the best way to approach it and right now it's just way too much for them to handle. If you can pay the payment just pay the payment. Myself or my parents. Well you said your parents can't handle it and you were going to move it to your name which would mean you're paying the payment right yeah i mean i so i graduated two

years ago um with a health science degree and i don't make a ton of money right now what do you make my original so i i just got a new job i'm going gonna make 23 an hour and then i also um have like a side nanny and gig as just like a transportation to school um but my original plan was to like go to medical school do that whole thing and then once i graduated i was overwhelmed already with the amount of debt that I have. How much debt do you have? So under my name, I have $27,000, but then my apparent plus loan is, I think, up to like $80,000. Okay. Well, it does not add any value to move it to your name. You can't pay it.

You don't make enough. You're struggling to pay your 27. Am I missing something? I guess with my parents having three kids, it just all kind of fell on them. And I think with us being the first-generation college kids, we didn't really know that much going into it. I don't think that we really did the best research when we were going into school to try to find our best option.

And so I – I appreciate you owning it. It's obvious mistakes have been made. Yes. You got $107,000 in student loan debt and you're making $23 an hour. So obviously mistakes have been made. But that's water under the bridge at this point. If you call me up and you said I'm making $100,000 a year, I'm about to knock this $27,000 out in a heartbeat, and I'm going to take this $80,000 over and knock it out for mom and dad.

I would tell you just to pay it while it's in mom and dad's name and take the mathematical burden off of them, but no reason to legally put it in your name. It doesn't serve any purpose. Go ahead and knock it out. But in your case, you're going to have to work on your career side, your income side, to be able to address the 27 before we can even talk about helping with the 80. Unless I'm missing the math, am I missing something? No, definitely not. And that's been my struggle because with my degree being so specific with health sciences, my goal was to further my education and go to PA school. And then I worked in medical office for about two years and decided that I didn't want to further my career in it in that direction.

You're going to have to work on the career side of your equation. I don't think spending six figures on PA school is the move right now. Let's clean up the mess first. The answer to your question is you can't take your parents' burden. You don't have the strength to mathematically. Hey, you guys, health insurance costs are only moving one way and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer. And it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the

bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM is a health cost-sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981. And CHM has also helped them stay true to their values and avoid miles of red tape. And CHM support goes far beyond meeting financial needs. They'll also help meet spiritual needs. Members become part of a family who will pray with them and for them when they experience a medical event.

So listen, y'all, there's no better way to take care of health care costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget at chministries.org slash budget. George Campbell Ramsey personality is my co-host today jeff's in jackson mississippi hi jeff welcome to the ramsey show hey guys how y'all doing better than we deserve what's up i heard that me too i just wanted to call and say i have some good news me and my wife are currently out of debt and we own the house that we're in but some old family land has come available and we want to get that back it just so happens that there is a four hundred thousand dollar house on it so we're getting ready to jump back into some debt and get

a mortgage and also prepare for you know know, retirement and that kind of thing. So we want to get the house. We definitely want to get it back. And how would you advise on maxing out, aggressively paying on the principal of the loan to try to pay it off, you know, in like the first 10 years versus maxing out like 401ks and mutual funds. The best way to proceed with 20 years. It's an old family house.

It's my grandparents' house. We're not planning on getting rid of it. It's going to stay in the family, but estimation probably $300,000 for it, and then it's on a big block of land too. What do you make? Me and my wife together, about $160,000 before taxes. How many more pieces of family ground that you can't do without are you going to run into? Dude, you've got like an addiction to family ground that can't be uh that you can't do without or you're going to run into

dude you got it you got like you got like an addiction to the family ground well this is uh where i grew up and it's one 1.5 acres out of the original 40 that my grandparents bought in 79 and they they got split up throughout the years, and they left it to me to care for and give it to our kids. So what would be your plan? You're not going to move. You're just going to hang on to it? Buy the new house, get the land back. It's right there close by, and that would be our primary residence.

And then we would keep the grandparents' house up. And either my sister might move into it or my mother is getting older, so she might move into it to help keep it up and possibly sell their house that they're in. There's a lot of variables here and a lot of mights. All right, the answer to your technical question is wherever you fall on the baby steps. So you're getting ready to go back from baby steps seven and be back in baby steps four or five and six.

So you're going to limit retirement to 15% of your income and any other money you can find in your budget, you're going to throw at the debt on the, um, $400,000 property. Okay. Until you get it paid off early. That that's,

that's the answer to your question. Um, and you probably can do that in 10 or 12 years, something like that. But I got to tell you, there's a narrative running through your stories that's not healthy. Okay. The narrative is, and I've heard it a lot in my life of doing what I do, the narrative is it doesn't matter what it costs or how stupid it is,

it's family land and we have to keep it. That's in your story all the time. And I'm not sure any of this completely goes over into the stupid zone, but your inability to – I mean, 1979 is not exactly legacy property on an acre and a half i mean that's not that's not like 1879 that's 1979 i understand and it was it was 69 and it would come this is is a 40 acre block originally this is just one i know but that's you only got and you don't even have the whole block you've only got an acre and a half it's not like a big plot of ground that was the families

so i mean your uh need to protect the family's nostalgia uh seems to know no bounds and that scares me for you because it's going to lead you into some stupid butt decisions before this is over you're not quite there with this the numbers on this don't scare me it's the um you know it's the analysis that scares me uh and that that's why i'm calling you out on it just because i love you and i want you to win because i mean you know there's going to be another thing come up and then there's going to be the property adjacent to the acre and a half is going to come available the old 40 acre track and then what are you going to do and then there's going to be another thing come up and then there's going to be the property adjacent to the acre and a half is going to come available the old 40 acre track and then what are you going to do and then there's going to be another thing come up and then your sister's living in it but you own it and it has to stay in the family and to a dysfunctional level and and uh it's just real estate it's not it's not your family's dna it's just real estate and so um uh i'm

nostalgic and the older i get the more nostalgic i get about certain types of possessions and things that have been in the family over the years and that kind of thing i want to hold on to them but uh real estate is a very tough one to do that with um my grandmother inherited from her grandfather a family farm during her lifetime she and my grandpa subdivided the family farm sold it off as subdivision lots leaving only about a four acre track and uh an old family farm our family farmhouse that had been in the family three generations at that point when she passed away uh my parents generation her kids sold it because none of them were going to live in it none of them lived in the same town they weren't holding on to it for posterity and so i i'm not fussing at you jeff i'm, man, the way you're working your way through this, you're setting yourself up for potential problems.

Yeah, and what if the sister doesn't want to live there, and mom doesn't want to live there, and now you've got this upkeep on this house that's vacant. You don't want someone to rent it because it's precious family property. Be careful, man. Be careful. There's some thin ice in where you're skating, but the numbers you're giving me aren't the end of the world.

I still think you could do this deal, pay it off in 15 years or less, which is our guidelines. So you're not doing anything that's, you know, if you told me the property is $2.5 million and you were never going to be able to pay it off, but you had to do it because it was family, then I would just say, no, you don't. I'd just say don't.

But I think you can afford to pull this off. I hate to see you go back into debt because you kept a 1979 piece of property. Again, 1879, maybe. I might get a little bit more emotional about that. But 1979, I mean, Mick Jagger was already old in 1979. I mean, it's not that long ago. So Jamie, Jamie is Pittsburgh. Uh, I guess.

Yeah. Jamie's in Pittsburgh. Hi, Jamie. How are you? I'm doing well. Hi, Dave and George. It's an honor to speak with you. Um, I wanted to let you know, I'm an FPU, and I had a 77-year-old recent widow,

and she needs some help finding hope. She had no family, so I offered to help her through it. She lives on Social Security and a small annuity, and her credit card minimum payments are 50% of her income. Plus, she had a car salesman in the midst of her grief talk her into getting a new car lease, and it seems overwhelming, and I wondered if you might advise me on how to walk through this with her. Oh, what a sad situation, Jamie. Yeah. Well, there's going to be a lot of pain.

Yeah. Because there's a lot of pain. Yeah. Because there's a lot of pain. There's not anything we can do about it. There's not a magic wand in this. She's going to be selling the car. And she's probably not going to be able to pay the credit cards. Right? Yeah.

I mean, that's how i was thinking i i heard one of your first callers just and you advise them to stop making the payment she's been making the minimum payment yeah how how by putting all the credit cards because she got a she got a house payment money does she have a house payment? No, she's renting. Yeah, how much is her rent? $720 a month. So her credit cards are way more than her rent. Yes.

By the time she pays her credit cards and pays her rent, she doesn't have any money for food. Yeah. So she can't pay the credit cards. She's doing some, like, playing piano or something to make money to buy food. That'd be great, except we're going to do this the other way around. The first thing we buy is food. The second thing we buy is shelter. The third thing we buy is lights and water. Then we pay what we can pay.

And you sell the car immediately. The car's got to go. Or repo it. One of the two, volunteer. But she doesn't pay any more car payments. She can't afford this car. They deserve what they get for selling this lady this car oh what a mess i'm so sorry jamie george camel ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at 888-825-5225. One of the things we do at Ramsey is a product called Smart

Dollar. We invented the space called Financial Wellness. Financialwellness.com I own as an example. So this idea that corporate America goes and teaches their team members how to handle money properly so that they become better team members because they're better daddies and better mommies because they have less stress and they're winning is something that kind of came out of Ramsey. And our process is called Smart Dollar. Major companies all over America do this and as a benefit for their team members and minor companies do this for their team members, people with 100 team for their team members people with a hundred team members a thousand team members and in today's case 40,000 team members with a great American

company called U-Haul that's pretty amazing I think of U-Haul is really these nice little trucks 40,000 people work in there that's a lot of trucks man it's incredible but it's a great i mean it's like it's iconic it's apple pie you know chevrolet u-haul yeah i mean it's it's almost like kleenex you know it's like if you're going to move you say u-haul right and so it's it's been in the it's been a part of our vernacular for a bazillion decades so we're real thrilled that u-haul has had their entire team go through Smart Dollar, offered it to Smart Dollar, Smart Dollar to them, and we're doing debt-free screams with some of their team today.

Eric and Elda are up next to do a U-Haul debt-free scream. Where do you guys live? Phoenix, Arizona. Which would be the home office. Yes, sir. Awesome. What do you do at U-Haul? I'm a project manager.

Okay. And Elda, what do you do? I work i'm a project manager okay and elder what do you do i work for arizona state university in the registrar's office ah very cool asu asu i love it very cool phoenix is a great town it sounds like you guys got a great life there congratulations welcome to nashville how much debt did you pay off in smart dollar sir we did about 100 000 dollars in 36 months good for you all right well since a lot of your u-haul friends are listening and watching and hanging around uh we're not going to ask you your income because they'll go oh that's what eric makes hashtag awkward who knew yeah that'd be weird so we're gonna we're gonna let you off the income side of things but a hundred thousand bucks in three years so you're averaging 33 000 a year about 2800 bucks a month

going towards this that's substantial yes it was what kind of debt was that oh you name it we were normal yeah credit card uh student loans uh some medical um car loan car loans yeah furniture we bought furniture you know yeah so u-haul put this in about three years ago the first time right yes sir i mean it's still there new new team members or team members that haven't done it yet can still do smart dollar but you jumped in three years ago when we first did it right we did okay and so elda he comes home from work and goes hey work's doing this thing i can hear it right now uh that had to be a little awkward right it was very awkward um i'm like okay what is it and what are we doing we're like what's going on? Another HR benefit. Yeah.

Eye roll. Yeah. Only this one actually is a benefit. Exactly. Who knew? Yeah. Did he do a good job selling it to you, or did you have to take some time to come around to the idea? Oh, no.

He did an amazing job selling it to me. I was on board pretty much right away. Okay. Because you felt the money stress, and he was saying, hey, this is going to help us get rid of this money stress, get rid of the debt, have a better life. Exactly, and we're not getting any younger. So, you know, and we do have an 8-year-old, well, we have an 11-year-old daughter, but she was 8 at the time.

And so not only we did it for ourselves, but we did it for her as well. Amen. That's a good why right there. Yeah, and you just look up and you go, hey, we've been living, this $100,000 is like having a backache I can't get rid of. Oh, it was crazy, Dave.

There was times in our 21-year marriage, we had 12 cents to our name, 12 cents. And I was like, you know what? Normal isn't working for us. We have to figure out something different. Exactly. So what was it you guys learned in smart dollar that caused you to be able to pay off a hundred thousand dollars in debt what's the key discipline oh that sounds dirty yeah i know it's crazy well he's a marine corvette so oh you're no stranger to discipline oh no and it's crazy one of the things in there

don't spend as much money as you have. Like, oh, wait a minute. You're making X, Y, Z? All right. Don't go $10,000, $5,000 over. Exactly. Burn up those credit cards. We actually burned those credit cards up.

We actually burned the credit cards. You burned them. We burned them. Physically. Melted them down. We sure did. It was like burning debt. So instead of cutting them up, we're like, all right, everyone to the backyard. Let let's go ahead they're going to the fire pit in middle of phoenix too so it was

july in phoenix oh and we're burning stuff in the pit whoa our neighbors the neighbors are going hey look over there they lost it neighbor looks over okay okay stay away from eric eric's burning stuff in summer in phoenix yeah i love it way to go that was symbolic for you guys there's a lot of deal yeah because that changes the world when you say i'm done i'm done living like this i'm gonna do a new thing the old thing ain't working and you're correct it. It changes the world, but our world specifically. That's what I mean. Yeah, our world. Because you suddenly don't care what the neighbor thinks looking over the fence.

It's just like, hey, come on over. I'll tell you about it, buddy. Exactly. Yeah. Especially for our 11-year-old daughter, Erica. Yeah. So, you know, our parents struggled, and we didn't want that for ourselves or for our daughter. So it's a generational thing.

Changing the family tree. Yeah. That's amazing. Changing the family tree. Yeah, that's a big motivator and really, really cool. So you're in the home office. So a lot of folks in the home office certainly have done the Smart Dollar program. They've done it all over the nation.

But have you seen changes with your other team members? I have. It brings clarity. nation but um have you seen changes with your other team members i have it brings it brings clarity so before when i had this debt i would see you know this big cloud over and it would honestly it would zap my focus and zap the focus and the discipline coming into work now you know it's crystal clear sharp edge going in and you see it and for anyone who hasn't tried it uh who anyone thinks about doing it what's the worst that can happen you can get out of debt terrible worst get a whole bunch of your team members out of debt they'll hate you for that don't hate me for it yeah you

buy a program get your team members out of debt they'll hate you for that i promise yeah that's so cool good for y'all. Very well done. You're heroes. Congratulations. And thanks to you all for furnishing it to you. Yeah. And we're proud to have that association. So very, very well done, you guys. Good, good work.

All right. We've got the live and give box for you that includes the Baby Steps Millionaires book, the Total Money Makeover book, and a Financial Peace University membership for you to give away. You've been through the stuff in Smart Dollar, so you'll be able to keep some of that and enjoy it. Some of it you'll pass along to others. Well done, you guys. We're very, very proud of you.

Congratulations. And we want to send our love to Erica, too, who couldn't be with us today. She's with my sister, but we wanted to shout out to Erica. Well, that's why we did this. That's right. We did it for Erica. She's our reason that's right good for y'all very well done all right it's eric and elda phoenix arizona a hundred

thousand paid off in 36 months count it down let's hear a debt-free scream three two one we're debt free yeah whoop whoop whoop whoop that's how it goes down right there love it well if you're a company out there or you work for a company which would be all of you one of the two and you want to have smart dollar offered all you got to do is just check it

out at RamseySolutions.com very easy to get in touch with our team and they'd love to help you help your team. It's a flawless system. Costco's got all their employees going through it. I mean, we've got large companies like those, but most of the companies are not huge like that. Most of them are regular-sized companies. But those are two great companies we're proud to have.

And so if you want to be involved in that, having your company go through it is smart dollar. It meets all of the federal guidelines, meets all the ERISA guidelines, all the stuff you need to know in that HR world. We're up on it and it's all dialed in. So just check it out at ramseysolutions.com and look up smart dollar. That's what you're looking for or slash slash SmartDollar will get you there, either one. This is The Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, Proverbs 15, 22. Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors, they succeed. The old version says, in the multitude of counsel, there is safety.

I like that. Kimmons Wilson says, my success was attended by quite a few failures along the way, but I refuse to make the biggest mistake of all, worrying about making mistakes. Good. I like that. Our question of the day comes from Neighborly, your hub for home services. Fall is a great time to have AirServe, a Neighborly company, clean your air ducts and make sure your furnace is running properly before the weather gets cold if you're in Nashville. Too late. Learn more about AirServe at Neighborly.com slash Ramsey. Today's question comes from Charlie in Georgia.

I'm about to start interviewing financial advisors. I'm trying to find someone that is not starting a career, but is my age or older. Is it wrong to ask them their net worth? They will know what mine is. Basically, I don't want a broke person managing my money. That's interesting. I don't know that I've heard that one before. Asking your financial advisor what their net worth is. And clearly he's an older individual. We don't know how old. You know, it's all relative, but he wants to work with someone who's kind of in the same life stage, I guess, as him versus a young buck who's just getting started. Well, I don't know what my SmartVestor Pro's net worth is.

I've never asked and I've never been curious, to be honest. It's not a bad question. It's a little awkward. I'm trying to think. I guess I don't correlate their knowledge base with their income necessarily, which correlates with their net worth a degree um it'd be nice to work with someone who had you know if they got 10 million dollars i want to know hey what are you doing you know there's a piece of that that's attractive yeah but you know um i mean if they're if they're not if they've been

doing it 20 years and they don't have any wealth, then no. I would correlate that lack of results with their lack of knowledge. Because that means they're making money mistakes. They're staying in debt for a long period of time. They're not doing the stuff we're talking about. They're not investing. Because if you do the stuff we talk about for 20 years, you're going to have some net worth. Hello. Probably a million dollars or more in most every case.

But I also don't want them to be a player. I don't want them to be a speculator, a high roller, right? And the last thing that comes out of this, Charlie, is you've made one mistake in this. I don't want a broke person managing my money. They're not going to be managing your money. You are. They're going to be doing what you tell them to do. So your job is to get someone with the heart of a teacher.

They teach you what to do and you approve the moves. So they're not managing anything without your input. So you're the one making the decisions that you should never let someone manage your money blindly. And so the only way they're going to do the only thing they're going to be putting money in is things you've approved of, agreed to, and they don't make moves without your approval, period. Don't ever be in a situation otherwise. So in that sense, but if I changed your last sentence to I don't want someone advising me on managing money well when they don't that's a fair statement i mean our joke has always been you know um my finance professor is the one that taught me to borrow money and he was broke what's wrong with that it's like a shop teacher

with missing fingers right and so that's what charlie's pointing to here i like your question charlie i like the the crux of it i would want to ensure somehow that they were practicing steady proven time-honored investing principles in their own lives um i've just got the assurance that my guy is doing that without knowing his net worth so i don't know how you would get that other than a net worth. Maybe just a discussion to say, okay, you know, I'm concerned that you're actually personally living the stuff that you and I are talking about. Are you?

Tell me that you are and tell me how I know that. And maybe they offer their net worth at that point um but i i it feels awkward and um i don't want to say inappropriate but from a manners standpoint it feels inappropriate yeah but it's not it's not a wrong question so i don't i don't know what to tell you i've never had this. I have never asked. I can tell you that. But I have assurance that they're doing the things that they're telling me to do. There you go. I mean, if you're a financial coach, the client doesn't, you know, you ask the client, hey, what's your income? But the client doesn't ask you, well, what's your income? That's a weird situation versus their money values.

That's something that we can talk about. What are your values around debt? Are you debt-free versus specific numbers that may not be as relevant? Yeah. I mean, it's a little bit like your doctor being 400 pounds. 100%. You know? I mean, it's like, huh, kind of an issue here.

And smoking. Yeah. Smoking 400 pounds. Yeah. Something to think about. I'm sure they're out there. It's a fair thing. Stockton is in Logan, Utah.

Hi, Stockton. How are you? I'm doing great. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. My father-in-law, he's a very kind man, has a heart of gold, but he's broke and unemployed, but he just will not stop buying us

gifts. We want to know, should we approach him about this? Should we talk to him and sit down with him, or should we just kind of deny his gifts that he wants to give us? We're not sure how to help him out of this. How long have you been married? It's been three and a half years. Yeah, how old are you?

I am 27. Okay. You shouldn't do anything your wife might it's her dad yeah definitely you're just going to be the smart aleck punk that married his daughter that's all he's going to see i don't see that i don't think you are but i but i'm telling you i don't think he's going to hear this from you but if she sat down and, listen, we're trying to establish our household here. And it makes us really uncomfortable when you do these gifts, because we know you can't afford them.

And it's very kind. And you're a sweet man, dad. And thank you for that. But it would really help us out if you would limit that or stop doing it. If she says that he can hear that from his own kid he won't hear it from you for from you it's an embarrassment yeah i agree so how do we i guess is there a good way to approach that without embarrassing him i mean he he just he loves gift giving is his love language just what i just said just let her sit down with him

by herself with a cup of coffee and say dad gift giving is your love language you're a sweet man and it's making us uncomfortable because we know you can't do it right now and we know you love us you don't have to provide gifts to prove it please stop please stop or severely limit your gifts your presence and your heart is all we need in our lives. We don't need stuff from you. Please, Dad, stop it. And if she says that in private by herself with her dad, gently and kindly and great love,

then it's not embarrassing. And she doesn't need to say we. You stay out of it. I'm telling you, the closer you get to this, the less successful this conversation is going to be. Oh, I agree, yeah. Well, she's not calling in today, which tells me you care more about this than she does.

Does she have the same level of concern? She does. She's just really nervous to talk to him about it. Money was just a hard conversation topic in their home growing up, and so it's just really hard for her to bring it up. Yeah. Either don't bring it up and just forget it and don't worry about it, or she brings it up in private.

That's your only chance of success. I mean, I think you just added even more evidence that it's not going to go well if you bring it up because and the evidence is that money's a sore subject to start with yeah and then stockton this young dude that married my daughter's come marching in here starts telling me stuff my son's-in-law been married to my daughter for 10 years and 12 years and um i doubt they would probably come in and sit down with me without my daughter having done so first on something they were disagreeing about. They might, and I wouldn't be mad at them.

I'm not saying that. It's just an awkward conversation. It's an awkward relational connection. Daughters and mothers-in-law, sons and fathers-in-law, these are tough connections connections and they can be done and and i love my sons-in-law they love me i think pretty sure they do well you give them one gift back and that's the total money makeover maybe that'll help them oh that'll be i'll be adding insult to injury yeah let's not do that give them george's book in january there we go breaking free from broke that helps that'll do it uh that puts us out of the Ramsey Show and the books.

We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.