The Ramsey Show - App - You Have to Be Unified When It Comes to Money (Hour 3)

Episode Date: September 12, 2019

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Andrew's with us in St. Louis. Hey, Andrew, how are you?

I'm doing pretty well. How are you today, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, I was calling because I've been employed with a company for close to three years, and when I took the job, part of my compensation package was for what are called RSUs, or restricted stock units. And basically, the way they work is it's over at the four-year vesting period. In a year, you get a quarter of it, and then every quarter after that, you get a quarter of the remaining part of it.

So after four years, it'll be fully vested. The stock has done exceptionally well. It's basically octupled, I guess would be the proper term. Wow, wonderful. Yeah, well, I got in at a good time, that's for sure. So my question is this. My wife and I, we're a single-income household. My wife is disabled.

She's had five spinal surgeries. And so we've had a lot of medical debt that we've been taking care of. But my main question is this. We're looking to move after the stock vests because the school district that we're in is, quite frankly, not very good. My son had a lot of bullying issues. He has autism. So we wanted to get into a better school district, which requires that we get into a better living situation or a better house in a nicer neighborhood. So we wanted to

use the RSU money to basically put either, if the stock continues to rise in two years, hopefully, we can just pay the whole, you know, buy it with, you know, with the RSU money. But I wasn't sure what the tax implications were for this. I wonder if you had any advice for me. I would get professional tax advice. I think it's just compensation. I think it's ordinary income. Okay.

I'm pretty sure it is. I mean, they gave it to you as part of your comp package, so your basis in the stock is zero. I mean, it may qualify for capital gains. I don't know. But you need to get some tax advice to be sure. But as long as you're out of debt other than that, other than the house, and you have your emergency fund in place, then definitely I would use that money to buy a house with.

Well, I was just recently turned on to you by a co-worker at my former second job before I took a recent promotion and quit the second job, which is really dumb in hindsight. But she gave me your book, The Total Money Makeover, and I basically let it sit on a little road trip, an inexpensive little road trip to see some family in Kansas. And I basically read your book during the time that I was there, and it was a revelation to me. So I am basically, I've stripped down my contributions I was making to my 401K. I'm in an employee stock purchase plan because I get massive discounts on it. That ends in November. I'm going to turn that off as of November because that's when the current fund. So you've got some debt to clean up is what you're trying to tell me.

Yeah, yeah. I've got about $14,000 in credit card debt that we need to pay off. Chop up the cars. Let's get that cleaned up. So when's the stock going to vest? You said you've been in there three years, and it's a four-year mark. So you're almost there, right? Getting there, because I was granted two different batches, one when I first got hired and a second after a yearly compensation.

Okay, well, you're on your way yeah so you know we're talking about 18 months or something before you get most most of this money or all this money or whatever but yeah clean up go ahead while you're waiting on that to vest to make the move go ahead and clean up everything else and get yourself up to baby step four uh and then yeah let's just pile up cash and make this move and it sounds like wow ding ding you're gonna be able to cash this stuff out pay cash for a house that would be incredible lee is with us in raleigh north carolina yeah, let's just pile up cash and make this move. And it sounds like, wow, ding, ding, you're going to be able to cash this stuff out, pay cash for a house. That would be incredible.

Lee is with us in Raleigh, North Carolina. Hi, Lee. How are you? Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Well, I kind of feel lost, and I was hoping to get some of your advice

and see what I need to maybe start at first. Okay. About six months ago, my husband passed away. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. And right after he passed, his mother passed away. So, you know, I had to quit my job because it was just a lot on me. And, you know, fortunately, he had insurance and, you know, I was able to pay the house off.

But, you know, I have income as far as sort of, you know, a Social Security check. But I think I'm ready to get another mentality about money, if you will, because he was the saver and I was the spender in the relationship. How old are you? I'm 45. Okay. Well, one of the mentalities would be getting your second career here. Yeah, and that was where I was at, too, is that I was not in a job that I could see myself long future at, but it was income coming in. So your house has paid off, and how much of an estate beyond that do you have well the um he had a savings account and

i was i'm not the beneficiary and we had made that decision because i had old credit card debt so he's got a about 45 000 in savings and that we have been building up. How much old credit card debt do you have? We've got about 15. Okay. So you could use that and go clear up the old credit card debt, which is one thing we want to do. Did you have any other nest egg other than that?

No, but see, I can't touch it because the kids' names are the beneficiary, and I have a child that's under the age of 18. Oh, so it's not your money. He didn't leave it to you. That's correct. Okay, I ask how much money you've got. You don't have any other money other than a paid-for house? That's correct.

And how are you paying your bills? Well, with the Social Security check. So, you know, I was going to start back a job, but I guess... You need to. Yeah, I do. I do. I do. So I guess would you recommend me putting our 16-year-old in a class with me? Yes, and I'm going to pay for both.

I want you to go through as my guest on how to handle money. But the trick is here in your situation, you've been through a really tough time, kiddo. I'm sorry. It's been a bad year. It's been a bad year been a bad year how old was your husband um he was 59 wow okay young okay well yeah you hold on and we'll get you signed up um because but you you in addition to going through financial peace university lee you're gonna have to really explore what it is you're going to do with the rest of your life. I mean, you have 50 good years left ahead of you, probably. 40, 50 years. What are you going to do with that?

Yeah, there's all kinds of opportunity and things for you to go do. It's your encore. It's the bow you take in the second act. Yeah. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. One question I get asked all the time is, do I need life insurance? Listen, the whole point of life insurance is to replace your income for someone who counts on you. So if you have a spouse or you have kids, yes, you need term life insurance. It's the only way to protect them until you're out of debt and have built up your wealth.

You're only digging a deeper hole if you waste money on cash value plans since it robs you of the ability to make real progress. And that's why I send you to Zander Insurance, and I have for 20 years. That's where I get all my insurance, and they only offer the plans I recommend. It is not expensive. It's not complicated. And Zander will be there as your guide every step of the way. Visit Zander.com or call 800-356-4282.

You need to get this taken care of. I can give you the advice and I can tell you where to go, but it's really up to you to take that important step to get your family protected. That's Zander.com or 800-356-4282. Tyler is in Harrisburg, Virginia. Hi, Tyler. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. How are you?

Better than I deserve. What's up? Quick question. So I'll be done with set two at the beginning of October, and I'm getting married in April. Good for you. So thank you. Thank you. So we unfortunately got in a wreck, and nothing serious, but the insurance company totaled out her car. So unfortunately, we or her, depending on your answer for this, have a car payment.

So my question is, do I get started on my 360? I'm sorry. She totaled her car. Did the insurance company not pay for her car? Oh, yeah. They cut her a check for it, yeah. So why did she borrow money? Was she debt-free before?

Yeah, we had that conversation, and I chimed in as much as I could, but I didn't win that one. Because they cut her a check for like $4,200. And that was what her car was worth? Yes. And she went in debt to buy a nicer car. So let me help you understand this. You've got to be real careful.

She did not go into car debt because of the wreck. She went into car debt because she bought a nicer car than she had before. Yeah, I'm aware of that. Okay. Make sure we understand what's really going on. All right. So how much car debt does she have? Yeah, I'm aware of that. Okay. Like I said. Make sure we understand what's really going on. All right. Yeah. So how much car debt does she have?

I think it's about $18,000. Yeah. So she went from a $4,000 car to a $24,000 car. Correct. Yeah, we both had no car payments until that happened. We were working on saving up for it, and then, yeah. All right. How can I help?

It happened sooner rather than later. So my question is, since we are getting married and becoming one in April, do I just go ahead and start helping tackle that debt with her because I'm going to inherit it? No, she didn't sell the car. She bought a car she can't afford. What is her income? She's an x-ray tech, so she's probably making about $40. She's got a $24,000 car, and she makes $40.

It's insanity. She needs to sell her car. That's a real popular conversation. That's going to go over like a lead balloon. Yeah, I know. Okay, so here's the deal, dude. I'm not going to participate over like a lead balloon yeah i know okay so here's the deal dude i'm not going to participate in your all's delusion she bought a car she couldn't afford she threw a hissy fit and you went along with it because you were the boyfriend and you guys got to correct this this is a real dangerous pattern that's going to cause you to be broke your whole lives going forward.

So the correct financial thing for her to do is to sell the car. The likelihood of her doing it with the situation you've described to me is about zero. I don't think she'll ever do that, and I don't think you'll ever force her hand that hard. But I'm telling you, this whole conversation and how this comes about comes about this situation you're in is a danger zone for your future marriage can you imagine if you replicate this stupid butt decision 20 times in the next 20 years you're gonna be broke your whole life and so that's yeah that's what you guys got to solve. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to pay for both of you as a wedding gift to go through Financial Peace University.

I'm going to give you the one-year membership, and you go to the nine classes. And then you don't bring up selling the car, and you don't tell her I said to sell the car until after you've been through the nine classes. And once you've done that, if she doesn't come to that same conclusion, then you guys really need to spend some time with your pre-marriage counselor because you are about to have a lot of fights about the number one cause of divorce in North America today, money fights and money problems. Because the last go-round, you did not stand up for what's right, and you allowed the woman you love to do something quite harmful to herself. Bad job. And you guys got to fix that pattern. So hold on. Loving you hard here, buddy.

I hope you feel it, but I think you can do this. I'm going to give you financial peace, and Kelly's going to pick up, and we're going to get you signed up for that. Thanks for the call. Open phones at 888-825-5225 when you are engaged folks there's all kinds of data points out there on what indicators are for a successful marriage and you ought to use them dave you're not talking much about love i i know i've seen a whole lot of people in love get divorced. And here's the data points. Here's the first set of data points. If you can be in agreement in detail about how we're going to handle money,

how we're going to handle your mother and her mother, the in-laws, and how we're going to handle kids and if we're going to have them and we're in agreement about religion if you've got those four data points you're in unity on you have a very high likelihood of having a successful marriage those are the big four that take people out disagreements over kids money in-laws, and religion. Take people out more than anything else. If you're in unity on those things, you can tackle anything. You can tackle anything. But crazy mother-in-law will break you up every time. It'll do it every time if you guys aren't unified on how you're going to deal with her.

She's a test pilot for a broom factory, and we've got to deal with her. That's the thing. So you've got to work this out factory and we got to deal with her that's the thing you know so you got to you got to work this out you got to have these things laid down and your number one cause of divorce in north america right now money fights and money problems you're not unified on the number on the way to handle the number one problem area you are asking for trouble you're asking for it if the number one cause of getting killed by a bear was to walk down willow lane you would never walk down willow lane because people get killed by bears there it's kind of simple you know and that's what this is so i have no idea if there's bears on willow lane sorry if you live live on Willow Lane. But the whole point here, okay?

But you see the thing. If the number one cause of death while driving is texting, then you would stop it, stupid. You know, you don't want to die. And you don't want to enter into marriage when you're not on the same track on money. It's a big deal in your pre-marriage counseling. It's a big deal. That's why a lot of pastors and a lot of marriage counselors are giving Financial Peace University as part or requiring it as part of their pre-marriage counseling because it forces you to discuss

the debt monster. It forces you to discuss how we're going to save. It forces you to discuss whether we're going to save. It forces you to discuss whether we're going to pay cash for things. It forces you to discuss are we going to have the maturity to delay pleasure, or do we have to spend everything every weekend and act like we're stupid? You know, how are we going to live? It forces you to discuss that. And if you can get on the same page on that, man, it's a big plus for your marriage.

It's a big, big deal. Will is with us. Will's in Birmingham. Hi, Will. How are you? Good, Dave. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? on that man it's a big plus for your marriage it's a big big deal will is with us wills in birmingham hi will how are you good day how you doing better than i deserve what's up hey i got a quick question for you um we're in the construction business and uh we uh are kind of large we have several pieces of equipment and uh a lot of semi-trucks and uh but what i'm wondering is we have an accountant and uh you know it's one local in the city and you know he has other different clients what i'm wondering is are we to the

size where we could buy or you know uh hire a full-time accountant strictly to focus on our business well what's your top line gross? About $6 million. And how many team members? 40. Yeah, you need a controller at a minimum. Okay. A controller is one step before hiring a CFO, a chief financial officer. And I brought in a bookkeeper earlier than you did.

I brought in a controller earlier than you did. I was late getting sophisticated enough to bring on a full CFO. And each of those levels are more sophisticated than the one before. CFO being the most sophisticated. They're going to look at all the money projections into the future, the past. They're going to start analyzing everything to the point you guys are sick of them telling you all the numbers. But it's wonderful information to have to run your business. A controller is a glorified bookkeeper in that they control and watch and keep something from getting out of control. A bookkeeper merely just is doing what you tell them.

Yes, sir. And you're past bookkeeper. You're at controller getting close to CFO level. And you're going to make the best hire you've ever done. You're late. Yeah, I mean, that's what I was wondering. You know, we may be missing a few spots, you know, because our accountant, you know, he has other different clients. It's not just the tax thing.

It's the thing on the proper utilization of all this equipment you've got operating. It's logistics. It's the flow of money and making sure, double, triple sure, that all the bills are paid early so you get the discounts, all of the things that happen when financials run efficiently, that person will make you in a $6 million business more than they cost you, and you need to hire them immediately. Good question. This is The Dave Ramsey Show.

Hey, guys. At The Dave Ramsey Show, we really value your input. It helps us to know what's important to you so we can deliver relevant content to help you crush your money goals. We just launched a brand new survey, and we'd love your feedback. It only takes a few minutes, and you'll be entered to win a $100 Amazon gift card. No purchase necessary. Take the survey at DaveRamsey.com slash survey or text survey to 33789. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Matt and Hannah are with us. Hey, guys, how are you?

Great. How are you? Welcome. Where do you guys live? We are from Birmingham, Alabama. Oh, a couple hours down the road. Not too bad. Welcome to Nashville.

And here to do a debt-free screen. Yes, sir. That's awesomeness. How much have you paid off? We paid off $26,729. Good deal. How long did this take? Ten months.

Good for you. Your range of income during that time? We started about $40,000, and we doubled and went just slightly over $80,000. Wow. How'd you double your income in ten months? I got a job. Oh, there's that. Okay.

What do you do? I am a registered nurse. Oh, there we go. So you came out of nursing school. Yes, sir. Got the first job. Very good. And what about you, Matt?

What do you do? I'm a respiratory therapist. Okay. Very cool. So both of you in the medical field. Yes, sir. Very good. And what about you, Matt? What do you do? I'm a respiratory therapist. Okay. Very cool. So both of you in the medical field. Yes, sir. Very neat. Good.

Good. So how long have you guys been married? How long have we been married? Seven years. There you go. All right. After seven years, you come out of nursing school. Yes, sir.

But ten months ago, something happened, and you said, okay, we've got to get out of debt. What happened after seven years of marriage that woke you guys up? Well, we actually started, we got to know you about five years ago before we had our son. And then life kind of happened. We had gotten on a budget, started paying a few things off, and then life happened. And we had to kind of pause. So we wound up with two cars that were totaled. And so we had to replace those.

But we did cash flow nursing school. And so I actually graduated from nursing school about a year ago. And then I got the job last August, and we got started. Boom. Okay. So what made you, because you kind of fell off the wagon, and you, but now then you get serious. What happened? What got you serious all of a sudden?

I guess just tired of paying extra money on stuff we pulled out. Yes. Student loans. Got tired of being broke. Yes. Just all of a sudden there was a wake up. And we had kids then and we were like we wanted to do Disney World and vacations and stuff and I couldn't justify doing that with all these payments. Gotcha. What kind of debt was the $27,000? We had one credit card and then his student, and then we had two cars. Okay. So student loans have been hanging around seven years. Actually, a little bit longer. They were his.

Wow. That's like a pet. Yeah. Time to get rid of Sally Mae. You gave her her eviction papers. Very cool. So what did you do to get out of debt? When people say, how'd you do that, what do you tell them?

Stay disciplined to the budget. We did. We stuck with the budget and picked up extra hours. He picked up extra hours. We just did what we had to do. Beans and rice. So you just cut your lifestyle down, wrote it out, and stuck to it. Yes, sir.

We lived off of his income, just like we had been. So we didn't change anything after I got a job. So your income went way up. That helps. Because you didn't have to really cut lifestyle substantially, but you cut it some and watch what you're doing and threw all of your check at it. Yes, sir. Okay.

That makes sense, because $40,000 up and then $27,000 down. That makes sense. Good. Okay. Way to go, guys. Thank you. Well done. Did you have people cheering you on?

We did. We took Financial Peace University with our Sunday school class, so they were big cheerleaders. Oh, during this time? Yes, sir. Oh, that's perfect. Okay. Yeah, you got lots of encouragement that way. Yes, sir.

That's good. Okay. And that also kind of gave you a lot of the details to how to turn the knobs and make the thing work, right? Yes, sir. It was perfect. Yeah. Very good.

Very cool. We got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Retire Inspired. We want that to be the next chapter in your story, that you guys become everyday millionaires and outrageously generous as you go along. And you brought the kiddos with you, right? We did, yes, sir. Okay. All the way up from Birmingham.

And what ages and names are they? This is Daniel, and he is five. And we have Addie, and she is about a year and a half. Okay. Alright. Perfect. Good stuff. Alright. Daniel and Addie, Matt and Hannah, Birmingham, Alabama. $27,000 paid off in

10 months making $40,000 up to $80,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. 3, 2, 1. We're debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Love it! Well done! Oh my

goodness. Man, that's fabulous. Very, very well done. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Ben is with us in Cincinnati. Hi, Ben. How are you? I'm pretty good, Dave.

How's it going? Better than I deserve. How can I help? So I've got a question for you. My wife and I are currently in baby step two, and we have really been pounding out a lot of the smaller consumer debts. And we're coming along to some of our larger debts with our car as well as my school loan. So I guess the question is, well, as I'm assessing our home, it's an older home,

and I'm just seeing some larger maintenance costs that are probably going to be coming in the next few years. So my question is, do we kind of cut our ties now and sell our home and use that money to pay our debt down or just kind of keep chugging along as we're going right now? If you were out of debt, would you sell your home because of these upcoming maintenance things because you want a different home? The maintenance issues go into it as well as the size of the home. If you were out of debt, would you sell your home? Yes. Okay.

We would get a larger home for our growing family. Okay. All right. Good. Okay. So you can sell this one and rent for a little bit you get out of debt and then save up to move into the larger one right my point is you're moving anyway yep as opposed to if you call me up and say i love my home i

never wanted to move but i would if it would get me out of debt that isn't what you said okay and uh in that case i might say keep the house and you know uh work your way through the debt but in your case you're a move anyway and it accelerates you getting out of debt and you know you get out of debt then you build your emergency fund then you build up your down payment and move into the house that works better for your family okay okay yeah but that makes you a renter for a little while you okay with that um that does make it tough um like i said you know that's just adding another move more more cost associated with that now we're moving twice instead of just once how much debt do you have? So consumer debt, we only have about $5,000. Everything other than your house is consumer debt to you?

No, I'm sorry. How much debt do you have, not counting your house? $105,000. And how much is the equity in your home? I'd say $50,000 to $60,000. Okay, and what's your household income? $120,000. Okay, so you're debt-free in a year if you sell the house. That's kind of what I'm saying. Now, then you build your emergency fund, and then you build a down payment. So you're renting only for two years,

and that's not that expensive to move. But rent something inexpensive. It's an adventure you're renting only for two years, and that's not that expensive to move. But rent something inexpensive. It's an adventure you're on. You're cleaning up this mess. Would I sell the current home and buy a more expensive home while I'm trying to clean up $100,000 worth of debt? Well, no. Of course I wouldn't. It's oxymoronic.

No, I wouldn't do that. So either go rent for two years and be debt-free during that time while you're building up your emergency fund, then your down payment, or stay where you are. Those are your only two options that make any sense. Stay where you are until you're out of debt, and then move up and home from there. In two years, three years, four years, you're not going to have substantial problems with the things you're worried about. But over 10 years, you might. Christine is with us in New York.

Hi, Christine. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Thank you for taking my call. So I currently work in a toxic work environment that is causing some issues with my health. Should I just suck it up so there's no...

Wait, I'm sorry. What do you mean by toxic? Medically toxic or jerks? Jerks. How's that causing issues with your health? Just stress? Yeah, a lot of emotional distress that's causing me some issues. What kind of issues?

I don't want to reveal too much, but I was recently diagnosed with depression. Okay. Well, you've stayed way too long. If the work environment is causing depression, you've got to get out of there. I suspect there's probably multiple things going on here, but, I mean, life's too short to work with a bunch of jerks. Yeah, I'd start hunting a job. I think you probably should have a year ago.

Yeah, I'd get out of there if I were you. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I'm John 4, 7. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Christopher Reeve said, A hero is an extraordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. Well, there you go. Which makes them not ordinary at all, doesn't it?

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DaveRamsey.com slash tax program. Dylan is in Grand Rapids. Hi, Dylan. How are you? I'm good, Dave. Thanks. How can I help? So I've got a question about, I'm 22, sorry, I'm 23.

My fiance is 22. We're getting married in just a few weeks. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah. I'm coming into this marriage with about $30,000 in debt. She doesn't have any. Um,

but what she does have, um, is an inheritance that she's received from her grandma. Um, and so my question is, we want to have a house in the next, you know, I know you say wait one year and two after you're married.

Um, so we want to have a house within a year or two. But wondering about whether we should use that inheritance as soon as we get married to pay off the debt, or should we save it and just pay it down, you know, over the next year or so, and then use that inheritance to actually put a down payment on a house. I would be debt-free before I buy a house, and I would have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses before I buy a house, and I'd have a down payment, and I'd be married close to a year.

What's your income going to be combined after you're married? Around $75,000. And what is the debt amount? $30,000. What now? $30,000. $30,000. And how much is the debt amount? $30,000. What now? $30,000. $30,000. And how much is the inheritance?

The full inheritance is about $100,000, but we wanted to use around $40,000 for the down payment. So what would be wrong with paying off the debt after you get home from the honeymoon? That leaves $70,000. And if you were to put $20,000 aside as your emergency fund, that would leave $40,000 or $50,000 to put down on a house. Yeah. I think the biggest problem that I'm having with that is because this is like my debt that I'm bringing in and this is money that her grandma, you know, saved for her. And I know that, you know, we'll be married at this point.

It still feels selfish to me. So my mind says that that's a better choice. My heart is feeling like I should just put my head down and grind through the debt and save and buy a house with it, which is kind of what she wanted for us. Well, I think it's part of learning how to be married. You know, we get nervous and we get all excited and we have the marriage, the actual wedding, and we stand up there and we say, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, and in the old vows, not many people say this anymore, but they say, all my worldly goods I pledge to you.

If you go in the Book of Common Prayer and read the wedding vows, that's what you'll find. In sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, all my worldly goods I pledge to you. And what that represents in those marriage vows is that you are actually combining your lives, that there's no you and me anymore. It's a we. We're French now.

Oui, oui. Right? Right. And when you do that, then there's not any my debt, debt my debt her inheritance this is our savings account that came from her grandmother and we have debt and what you're describing emotionally is is that it's hard for you to get to that point and that's normal it's normal to take a while to get to that and so if you want to sit on it for six months and not do anything and kind of get used to the idea that we're now we-we instead of you-me, right?

You're not roommates anymore at that point. The preacher says, and now you are one, unified, one unit. And if you're one unit, there is no bifurcation between who owns what anymore. We have an income, and my wife has not worked outside the home in 34 years. But we have an income. Our income is X. You see what I'm saying? And so it's not like I earn all the money, so you do whatever the flip I tell you to do.

That wouldn't work with my hillbilly wife, I'll just tell you. But that's the whole idea, isn't it? I mean, we're learned to live as one in concert, in unity. We have our own identities as humans. We're not getting absorbed into each other or something like that. But it is this powerful thing that says, and now you are one. All my worldly goods I pledge to you. If it were reversed, you're so in love with this woman, you would not think anything about giving your grandfather's inheritance to pay off her student loans for your household to be able to make progress as fast as possible financially into the future. And, oh, by the way, your grandfather wouldn't blink at that.

If the roles were reversed, you could do it. Yeah. And so it comes down to just you're a good man. You've got some pride. You've got some good, healthy pride. You're not a leech. You're not a parasite. That's all this conversation means.

The fact that this is hard for you means you're a good guy. Okay? But do it anyway because you're wrong. But if it takes you a few months to get around to that and emotionally get your head around it, that's fine. But don't live your life with separate stuff. You're going to end up separate. Yeah.

Long term. I mean, if it takes you a little while to get your emotions wrapped around it, that's fine. But let's break that pride down and go. We are now one. Because let me just tell you, you get sick and you're in bed and she brings you chicken soup. Your pride isn't in there. You're ready for some chicken soup, you know. You don't need pride at that point.

And vice versa. If she gets sick, you're going to take care of her. And that's what this is about, this marriage thing. It's serving and loving each other well, combining our lives. This idea that we're just going to be roommates and, you know, have a joint venture agreement is not good healthy relationships. So good question. Good question.

No, I'd work the baby steps exactly and give yourself a little time to get there. But I'd write a check and pay off the debt, put my emergency fund aside and put the rest down on a house after you've been married nine months to 12 months. Thanks for calling in, brother. Congratulations on the wedding. Proud for you. Open phones this hour as we talk about your life and your money. Adrian is on YouTube.

Is it worth not rebuilding immediately my emergency fund to attend a funeral of someone I was semi-close with? Well, I don't know how semi you are. Basically, you're saying that attending this funeral is an emergency. If you use what would have been emergency fund money to go to the funeral, that's called declaring the funeral an emergency. So you have to be pretty semi, pretty close in the semi-close part to say going to the funeral is an emergency. So you have to be pretty semi, pretty, pretty close in the semi-close part to say going to the funeral is an emergency. If it's just a trip you want to take, uh, no, you don't use your emergency fund for a trip you want to take. And we're using this as an excuse to go back home.

No, but what's the deal here? I mean, if this is, if your emergency fund was full and sitting there, would you declare attending this funeral an emergency? If you're close enough to declare it an emergency, that's fine. Then go to the funeral. That's what it's for. But there's something weird going on in the way you worded this that makes me question that. So, I don't know. That's how you do the critical thinking on it, though. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books. Our thanks to James

Childs, our producer, Kelly Daniel, our associate producer and phone screener. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

Hey, it's Kelly, associate With the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.