The Ramsey Show - App - You Just Described a Sugar Daddy… (Hour 1)

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Rachel Cruze discuss: Why you shouldn't finance a car (especially for your girlfriend), How to set up retirement accounts, What to do with (a lot of) extra money, Why international funds are part of the investing strategy. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

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Open phones here. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Rachel Cruz, number one best-selling author, Ramsey personality. And my daughter is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225 that's 888-825-5225 cody is in new york to start off this day this hour hey cody how are you hi dave it's uh great to be on the phone with you you too sir finally meet you i've been watching you for a little while now well thank you how can we help? Um, so I had a question, um, about, I recently put myself, um, back a couple of baby steps, uh, by going and getting myself a truck loan. But now, uh, a girlfriend of mine, of course, you know, not married. So, you know, I know roughly what, where I'm already at thinking, you know, especially watching you. Um, she wants me to finance a car for her.

Um, I was thinking if she comes up with a large down payment, you know, I'm in pretty decent, uh, financial shape myself, you know, no, I know that is, that's true. So I was thinking if I could go through, if I should finance the vehicle for her or not, because it's a really big deal to her, obviously. She has a vehicle now, so in my eyes, she doesn't need one. I went and got it inspected for her, so I know it's good for at least another year. I'll get your take on it.

Cody, if you were to guess what we would say, what would your guess be? Of course not. I mean, I have my own truck loan and I'm putting $4,000 a month toward it to get it paid off. I know. So here's the deal. It is, number one, just taking on debt in general as a risk. And then number two, when you put your name on someone else's debt, that's a massive risk. And we have had even more risk. Yeah. Just so many calls.

Okay. So do you want us to help give you a good argument to give to your girlfriend? Is this part of why you called? Yeah, that would be great. You know, I've went over the points of, you know, interest rates are higher right now. I have my own, you know, I've had the conversation with her, you know, like, can you wait until I get my truck paid off? I'm expecting to get my truck paid off. I financed $33,400 for it. I've made literally two payments on it. Cody, what do you make? I make about $120 a year.

What does she make? She's making about $800 a week. You can bring home. Okay. How long have y'all been dating? Yeah. Like four months and how old are you two uh i am i just turned 30 and she just turned 19 okay uh you just described a sugar daddy yeah you're not kidding um yeah she doesn't make any money she's 19 years old and she wants you to go buy her a truck um no a car probably or a car or whatever

rachel you're gonna crawl out from under the desk now um the uh car yeah so you you make a lot of money she didn't make any so um number one i don't know that there's an explanation for her that's going to satisfy her okay yeah because uh she's not going to be loving a no of any kind no matter how logical or sweet or well crafted. Okay. So let's just be prepared for the fact that she ain't going to like this. Okay. Number two, if you were my son, who is just a tiny bit older than you, I would knock a noggin on your head if you did this, because a lot of reasons. Number one, what Rachel said, you're going to get yourself in a mess.

Number two, of course, we teach you not to borrow money. Of course we're not going to teach you to borrow money for yourself even after you finally get your truck paid off because it was a mistake to go in debt for the truck in the first place. We're going to stop doing debt so that you can become wealthy making $120,000 a year. Okay? So we're going to take debt off the table. We're just going to take that. There's no explanation for it, Cody.

We're taking debt off the table. You called us. You knew what we were going to say so but here's the biggest problem all right um relationally this feels like it's going to be a strain if you don't do it and i will tell you from having coached um folks for 30 years that if you do this you're going to put a bigger strain on the relationship because you're changing the tone the flavor of the relationship from two independent adults seeking a high quality connection to now one is dependent upon the other right and it changes the it changes dinner it changes on me it yeah yeah yeah because you just and now you're somewhat dependent upon her because if she doesn't pay the payment making 800 a week shock um then you're going to end up having to pay the payments shock okay and uh then

there's going to be another strain on the relationship and so you're going to do damage to whatever the quality of this relationship is it's going to get worse if you do this yeah so that's the biggest reason not to do it the second biggest reason not to do it is there is nothing no scenario that turns out positive out of this all the scenarios are negative and i think too cody i would i would be curious on the relational side how she takes the no probably reveals a lot about her right and and the kind of person you want to be in relationship with and so what she's really doing here yeah you know and but if she's willing to learn and she's like okay so why won't you co-sign you're like well because of this and this and this and i want to get out of debt i don't do you know what i mean and you may teach her something new, which is great.

I'm not saying she's like a bad person, but y'all's value systems might be very, very different. And then the other thing that would happen too, if you co-sign and she loses a job or she suddenly decides, oh, I'm going to go on a fun girls trip and spend money. Oh, shit, I just can't make my car payment this month. And you're thinking, you just went on a girls trip and you're not going to pay your payment.

And now I'm stuck with, like, you're going to start analyzing everything that she buys and purchases. And so, like, it just, yeah, the whole thing, it's just so, it's very messy. Let's be real clear. It won't be co-signing because there's no bank in the world going to sign her up for anything. No, that's probably, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's living below the poverty level. So you're going to own a car with a car payment. And then you're going to have to go pick up your car

from your ex-girlfriend when you break up. This is going to be awkward. And then you're going to feel terrible if you broke up with her one day and then you have to go be like, I need my car back. She's like, I don't have a car. How am I going to get to work? And now you're dependent. be like, I need my car back. She's like, I don't have a car. I'm going to get to work. And now you're dependent.

You're stuck. I mean, it's just, yeah. Yeah. No good plan. But Cody, I appreciate you calling. Yeah. Thanks for asking. Yeah.

And I sympathize with where you are and you're a nice guy trying to think about this. Yes. Yes. You did call the people who tell people not to borrow money so that they can become wealthy and outrageously generous and ask to borrow money. Period. Bad idea. Number two, doing that with people or for people that you're not married to bad idea number three when the person you're doing it for is completely broke and makes no money super bad idea so let's just keep adding on to this this is the ramsey show We'll be right back. rachel cruz ramsey personality is my co-host today number one best-selling author and my

daughter in my opinion it's never soon too soon to get in the Christmas spirit. As a matter of fact, if we just did Christmas year-round, it'd suit me fine. I love generosity. I think generosity is amazing. I love Christmas. I love Christmas traditions, all the old songs in particular. And we have an awesome Christmas tradition. We have the Ramsey Christmas Cash Giveaway.

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I just did it. Did you say Santee? It's only dropped it to $10. Did you say Santee? I said Santee. I did. All right. Just double-checking. Just making sure. Well, it took me about 10 seconds to process that. ten dollars did you say santee i said santee i did all right just double checking sure well

it took me it took me about 10 seconds to process that okay yeah you're late to the draw here i'm almost done with the commercial so yes your new book ken coleman ken coleman's paycheck to purpose for 10 bucks and deloney's conversation cards for 10 bucks now that makes sense because they're a little stack of cards that make but oh my gosh all right this these are deals people this is a deal shut up all right shop our biggest ten dollar sale yet ramsey solutions.com our question of the day comes from blinds.com the number one online retailer of custom window coverings free samples free shipping and new promos all the time use the promo code ramsey to save money today's question comes from ian in florida asking for advice regarding retirement contributions i'm 27 my wife is 26 she's a

recent stay-at-home mom she has about 35 000 in a roth ira i have about 40 000 in a roth ira and or in a roth ira and 60 000 in a roth 401k We both max out our Roth IRAs each year, but I also contribute 10% of my income in a Roth 401k at work, about 15% total income going into my retirement accounts. My question is, should we be contributing more in a traditional IRA in her name and less in my name? Obviously, the retirement is mostly now going to be in my name and not hers. And I feel somewhat weird about this, even though we are good financial partners. What are your thoughts? No, I wouldn't feel weird about that.

If most of it's going into your name, as long as you guys are investing 15% of your total income, I don't really care where it goes. It's just the importance of putting that money away for the future. So, Ian, if it leans more into your investments versus hers, I mean, I'm fine with that. Total of 15% of your household income should be going at baby step four, not more. It sounds like you're doing more. It sounds like you're doing 15%. No, it's like there's a lot of these. Yeah. Sounds like you're doing 15% plus a Roth for your wife, it sounds like. If you're

going to do a Roth, if you're going to do an IRA for your wife, you can do that as a spousal IRA, and that's fine, into good mutual funds. And if you've got good 401k Roth and a match at your place, you can do that but the total of all of this mix should be no more than 15 rachel's right you're concerned about it being in one name or the other is irrelevant in the event of death you've got a beneficiary on it and it's her it all goes to her in the event of divorce the judge is going to take half of it and give it to her so there's no i mean there's no downside for it doesn't matter whose name it's in because she's protected either way so to speak you know

i've heard people say well you should always you know keep your finances separate and you're fine you ought to have your own retirement account in case of divorce well in case of divorce in any state in the united states they will take half your freaking 401K and give it to the other spouse. It's part of the deal. It's part of the property settlement, okay? So you just, you're not, it's not protected from that. So you can't do that. So it won't work.

All of our retirement, not all, but I mean 96% of my retirement is in my name because your mom has been a stay-at-home mom since Denise was born 30-some-odd years ago. Not all, but I mean, 96% of my retirement is in my name. Because your mom has been a stay-at-home mom since Denise was born 30 some odd years ago. Almost 40 years ago now. Yeah. And so, you know, consequently, I've been every year. I mean, we do a Roth IRA every year, but I load the 401k in my name, too. So when you add it all up, it's mostly in my name. But Sharon's not the least bit worried

it's a good woman would not occur to her to be worried about that she assumes she could take it from me at any time she wants and she's correct all right amy's with us in dallas amy welcome to the ramsey show hi rachel and mr ramsey i'm not sure you remember me but i called earlier this year All right, Amy's with us in Dallas. Amy, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, Rachel and Mr. Ramsey. I'm not sure you remember me, but I called earlier this year, kind of overwhelmed with prosperity. Rachel, we bonded over the craps table a bit. Oh, you're one of those.

You end up liking me at the end of the call. But I took all of your guys' advice except to increase my lifestyle. So we've kind of been having this like under budget problem and what we've been doing is just putting all that money into the market which I like because it's down right now but then psychologically I feel like I'm trying to time it which I also shouldn't do so I'm kind of like what do I do with the extra money now that I'm still under budget and I can't help it having extra money like that was a great problem maybe okay so remind me i'm trying to remember would you please run for congress

so you're out of debt both my husband and myself are engineers um i'm 33 he's 32 baby step seven yes that's right back then it was 1.7 or million. Now it's probably like $1.6 million net worth. But, you know, who cares? Way to go. You've killed it. Well done. So what do you do with the extra money that you have every month is what you're asking. And you feel we are putting it into the market because you feel like you're trying to time the market.

And you feel like you're... Right. And I know I shouldn't, but I guess I would do that even if it was up, too. Exactly. What we do with our extra money is we just... But you've not increased your lifestyle. because I remember talking to you and saying, you guys need to enjoy some of your money, and you haven't. That's our problem, right?

How much excess is there? How much excess? I'm thinking, like, it's been like $5,000 a quarter. Oh, not much. No, no. I mean, we're talking $25,000. To some people, that's a lot, too. No, but in your world, you're worth $2 million.

You're 32 years old. It's $1,000, $1,500 a month. Okay. All right. Yeah, no. I mean, we're talking $20,000, $25,000. No, but in your world, you're worth $2 million. You're 32 years old. It's $1,000, $1,500 a month. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And so, I don't know. I don't know if you're going to tell me just find something to buy or do whatever you want. No, no. I mean, I wouldn't go buy something just to buy it, but I do want you guys, because you're both engineers, I know how you're wired.

So, I do want you to enjoy life. And so, increasing your lifestyle sum, I would take some of that if you haven't yet and yeah increase your lifestyle by a few percentage points and throw some of that extra there and then amy you know i'm just thinking like what winston and i do we have a money market account that extra money will go into after we've done everything if we have any extra it's okay it goes in here and then we kind of have a short-term goal. So whatever it is, whether it's replacing a car or we have a big five-year goal of doing a pool one day at our house.

We really want a pool. So we're kind of putting money towards that. But we're working towards something. And so that's always helpful for us to have that thing that we're working towards. So if you and your husband, do you guys have anything that you want to accomplish or do in the next five years? I don't know.

I guess maybe that's part of the difficult thing. I don't know what the next goal should be. I mean, it's like maybe upgrade our house. Yeah, what I did at your stage was I just threw the money in a mutual fund until it was enough there to buy some real estate that I paid cash for. It was a simple goal. And I actually bought a little lake house for almost no money after I got my first couple of hundred thousand in there. And that little lake house is now gone and now we have a bigger lake house. But it started a whole trend of us

buying real estate with leftover money. I'll give you something else to do that i think you really i think it'll be good for you after talking to you for a minute budget three hundred dollars a month for outrageous tips and random generosity at the gas pump and i want you to walk up with cash and look somebody in the eye and blow their mind. Do that for three or four months, and then tell me you hate it, because you won't be able to say that. It'll blow your mind. Three or four hundred bucks out of your thousand or fifteen hundred.

Just, you don't have to do it for the rest of your life, but you'll probably end up doing it the rest of your life. This is The Ramsey Show. mc show are you sick of planned obsolescence? You know, when companies make products crappy so you have to buy more of their crappy products? Well, me too. And it's why I love companies like Grip6. Grip6 is all about quality products meant to last forever. That's why their comfortable, bulk-free belts, slimline wallets, and lightweight wool socks all come with a lifetime warranty and simple returns and exchanges. So

check them out at Grip6.com today and get up to 20% off with the promo code Ramsey personality, is my co-host today, number one best-selling author, and my daughter. So, Rachel, I just got an email at the break that we put the Borrowed Future documentary on YouTube just a handful of days ago, about a week ago. And it's already had 200,000 people view it. Awesome. So once we put it on there and made it free, it was a whole $3 or something like that on Amazon Prime. But, yeah, it's free on YouTube. And while this whole student loan discussion continues to be a hot topic, especially during a political season, this is a good thing to watch because it will give you the inside scoop on how nasty the whole student loan debacle is.

And you don't want to miss it. It's called Borrowed Future. And you can just jump on our youtube page you'll find it there and you can watch it for free and watch it with your teens or send it to any send a link to anybody that you know that has a teen that might ever think about going to college and doing something stupid like going into student loan debt there's lots of ways around that and lots of reasons to avoid it and that way you don't become a political pawn in this mess that's out there. Chris is with us. Chris is in Fort Worth, Texas.

Hi, Chris. How are you? Hey, Rachel and Dave. I also watch Borrowed Future, and that shook me to my core. I think everybody should see it. Thank you. My question is about the investment strategy and the four kinds of good growth stock mutual funds.

International is the fourth kind that spreads our risk beyond American soil. It appears to have a lower rate of return. No, it's worse than that. It sucks. Yeah, so why is it worth diversifying into? Are we sacrificing return? Why do we do that? You know, I actually just asked the same question about probably about 24 months ago,

because, you know, what we teach are time-honored principles, like get out of debt and the borrower is slave to the lender in the Bible. And so we're not going to change on those things, okay? We're not going to suddenly go, oh, there's a certain kind of, you need to go do this debt. No, we're not going to do that, okay? But, you know, the four mutual fund types are something I dreamed up with other people. The guy that started the show with me was an investment broker, and we dreamed that up and ran models on it and stuff 30 years ago.

And so it's not a sacred cow. And so I got got to looking at it and i'm looking at my own returns and i'm asking the same question you're asking because this thing i mean it doesn't just mildly underperform the other three it sucks you know and so i went to our uh smart investor pro and i said hey help me run some scenarios out on this because i'm about to change my advice after 30 years I mean after 25 years it's people are going to be shocked they're going to fall out in the floor Dave Ramsey changed because he never changes you know but I never changed because I'm right but if I'm wrong I need to change so we dug it dug into it and I had him run a bunch of scenarios out and I said okay what if if I didn't have for the last 30 years if I didn't have

international in the mix if I just did the other three run 30 years, if I didn't have international in the mix, if I just did the other three, run out what would have happened and run it out. If it did, it was in there. And certainly if you run it out in like five-year blocks or certainly the last 10 years, you would have overperformed not having it in there. So my advice, you know but but the weird thing is what he did do

is he he pulled up all of the uh weird times in the economy we're kind of in one of those right now as a matter of fact like a bear market and we found that the uh international shored up the others uh because they would dive down below it and then come back up past it and the diversification actually did work to where you ended up mathematically better off because of those weird anomaly downturns made up the difference and uh we ran it out i mean you can you can get with a good investment broker like our smart investor pros and they can run hypotheticals they're called on the computer and you put like let's pick four good mutual funds that are in the four categories with long track records and then let's run it with it run it without it run it in you know for 15 years five

years 10 years 20 years 40 years let's run it back and forth back and forth as best we can let's see what would happen if we hadn't put it in there have we been making a mistake all this time which i because i was having the exact same question you got chris it's a really good question is my point i think but the weird thing was it it worked out better to have it in there so i kept it in there but it still kind of baffles my mind a little bit because it sucks so bad is it i have a great smart investor pro um can i give a shout out to him on the air sure he's jake buckwalter at myers-whaker. Everybody in four, five, six, and seven needs to call this guy. But he showed me the international, and it does coincide with what you said. I wanted to ask on air because I thought everybody should know what your answer was,

that there are a couple of years where it just outperformed crazy. And it made up the difference. So you think that might happen again? It does because markets – Is it happening now? It may be happening at this moment, but markets cycle. And so you're going to have these weird anomaly years in the rhythm of market cycles of up and down turns. And yeah, so he found what I found when you all talked about it, right, Chris?

Right. That the math actually... So it really... What it did is it was kind of a cool illustration of the theory that diversification is, that you're safer and you make more money in the long term by having different kinds of things rather than all your money in one thing. And that's really what it illustrates. And it's a beautiful question. So thanks for the underhand pitch then, Chris.

You already knew the answer. But yeah, very cool. But in all the other categories, did you guys run that, like the aggressive growth, growth in income? No, we didn't pull those out because they weren't bothering me. They were performing at or above market, but the international is just like, it's just, you know, I make some bad metaphor, but yeah, it'll get me in trouble.

But yeah, no, it's not happy. It's not as happy a fund i mean and our category uh but there's a weird thing that some of these uh it's a foreign market yeah stock that you're buying and things are happening in those markets in a germany or that aren't happening that aren't happening here at the same time but with this downturn because it feels more with inflation all of of it, it's a global. Yeah, but a lot of it is global. Sometimes you'll have a global upheaval, but yet the particular profitability of those particular companies in that,

it's not exactly inverse to every negative thing. Right, right. But it's enough that it just proves out the theory of diversification. There you go. So the Bible does say there is one scripture that deals with this, but it doesn't point out the four mutual funds. It just says in Ecclesiastes, spread your portions to seven, yes, to eight, for disaster may come upon the land. And you can fill in the blank on disaster, whether it's COVID or planes flying into towers

or 2008 bubble bursts or the Great Depression or whatever. But if you have all your money in one thing, some duper drops the basket on that thing, then you're screwed. And so the diversification is just a general biblical concept. And, you know, we knew in the investment world 30 years ago when I started doing all this stuff that you don't put all your money in one category. Because if you did, you would just pick aggressive growth because it's always got the highest rate of return. Right, totally. But it's got the exciting.

Yeah. Yeah, it's really exciting. But it's really exciting going down, too. You know. Feeling it all. Yeah. So, you know, you don't take into consideration the volatility and the offset and the other stuff. So it's a very interesting question.

And I appreciate you bringing it up also to tell folk so we can say out loud that, you know, there are things we don't change around here and we're not going to change. And I saw you answer a thing on Instagram like, you just give your dad the same advice because it's right. You know, we don't need to change it. Except for the craps table. That's fine fine except for the craps table and the tesla but yeah but other than that yeah um so there has to be some rebellion in the middle child but the uh a little bit the uh but aside from that the the principles don't change The processes in your life should always change. The principle is you need to balance your checkbook. Even if there's an internet

that allows you to do all your banking online, you still need to reconcile to balance your checkbook. Or it may not be a checkbook anymore. It may not be a checkbook. It's a checking account. You're checking account. But the idea is, yes. In the old days, we got out and, you know and they sent us all our checks back in the mail.

We would mark them down, and then we would spend all this time with a little 10-key calculator trying to make sure we hadn't missed a check and weren't out of reconciliation with the bank, weren't out of balance with what we thought we had versus what we really had. And you still need to do that stuff. You still need to keep track of your dadgum money uh that doesn't change but how you do it yeah you still need to be investing and diversifying but how you do it could change but in this case it worked out that it didn't need to change this is the ramsey show We'll be right back. Rachel Cruz Ramsey personality is my co-host today number one best-selling author my daughter open phones at 888-825-5225 hey if you like this show do us a favor tell people about it

share it with a friend if you've got the ability on youtube or the podcast to do a share it's easy you can do it electronically but certainly just mention it go hey you need to listen to the show it'll change your life this information is cool leave us a review where you can as well and um leave us a five-star review we don't need one stars thank you and uh you can also consider subscribing if if you would, at YouTube or on podcast, where it automatically hits your phone, automatically hits the way you consume and listen to this stuff. I was listening. I was walking this morning. I walk anywhere from a mile to three miles every morning, and I was out there.

It was a beautiful fall morning, and a buddy of mine stopped, talked to me. He was driving by, and he's like, what are you listening to? What podcast are you listening to this morning? And so, because I've always got a podcast in my head as i'm walking and listening to somebody i was actually listening to smart money happy hour this morning oh i really was thank you i haven't listened to today's episode i need to yeah it's good i was gonna say george on that one always says you know when you're going to write the podcast just do as his mom said if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all so i heard him say that we

can we can leave that thing to uh pretty good thing to steal yeah you guys went through and we're looking at the uh i had not heard the phrase fin talk yet oh yeah i almost threw up a little bit in my mouth when i heard it but um the uh financial advice from tiktok fin talk hashtag fin talk hashtag hashtag yeah and uh and yet i probably have some on there you probably got some on there but they're uh okay so well we tried to spread hope yes you did and y'all are so nice because you didn't trash the people i that's i was listening to it i was going to see if i was doing that but no holds barred the guy's an idiot i mean jeez unbelievable and trying to make it oh anyway it's a great it's a great it's a great it was good it's a good show y'all did a good job with

it's a great episode well buying whole life for your three-year-old i know see i'm there like just telling you that's the motivation behind it that's that you're just so nice. I am nice. He's a whole life agent doing an ad with his kid in his lap. That's what he is doing. He's had his baby. He sold his baby out. Because I really believe, though, that he believes that that is the best thing to do. Don't you think? Or do you think he knows it's a scam?

Not him specifically. There's only two kinds of people who sell whole life. People that know it's a scam and keep selling it, which makes them crooks. And people that can't do math. So only two kinds of people sell whole life people that know it's a scam and keep selling it which makes them crooks and people that can't do math so only two kinds of people selling cash value insurance he can't do math because he's yeah he seemed like a very nice he believes the company line for the 30 minutes that he worked there and uh 80 of the whole life agents don't sell for more than one year and they're out of the business because they wake up and realize it it's terrible no i agree i agree i agree i'm just saying y'all are just sweet it was just sweet y'all are nice we're giving your kind we're giving humanity a chance that this guy like may not realize how

terrible it is i don't know but we're going we're giving you the truth of how terrible it is i just think i just think of all the people that might have followed his advice that's what's scary that's what i agree i'm with you i don't want it out there it's wrong but hey i did see because tiktok you know it's a big platform but there's someone and i read an article about it that's trying to get like the u.s government to ban tiktok in america or something i don't know but really oh because the chinese because the chinese own it yeah and they're and they're raping everybody's data yes so i'm like man is it even going to is it even going to i got access to your phone you're you gotta have a conspiracy theory about that oh i don't have tiktok on my phone okay there you go i won't because conspiracy theorist right here no i won't i will not no i don't either but it's for other reasons. All right. Evan is with us in Kansas City.

Hey, Evan, what's up? Hey, Dave. I got a heck of a mess on my hands, and I could use your advice on how to tackle it. We'll try. What's up? Okay. So my mom has pretty well squandered all her money her whole life. About five years ago, she inherited $400,000 from my grandparents. And between my

siblings stealing it and her squandering it, it's pretty well all gone. And she never has really taken care of herself her whole life. And my siblings want to have a conversation on Thanksgiving about putting her in a nursing home because her health is that bad. And I'll be honest with you, Dave, I'm just to the point I don't want to pay for it. I mean, she's made a lot of horrible mistakes in her life. I have too. I'm on track to pay off all my debt in the next six months, and I'm kind of wondering how you would best approach that conversation or that situation. I'm sorry.

How old is she? She's about 62. Ancient. She's my age. What's her health condition? Because you said that she's in bad health. Is it like early Alzheimer's? No, it's very overweight.

I mean, she got so heavy at one point her knee started to hurt. And so instead of losing weight, she bought an electric wheelchair so she didn't have to walk anywhere. And it's just going downhill pretty fast. My sister lives with her now, and it's to the point where she can't take care of her. And I know I've seen this coming. I don't know if my siblings have, but I have seen this coming. Yeah. Okay.

She is destitute. She has no money. Yeah. No house, no property, no money in an account. Well, so she does own a site at a campground, and she does own a house. So I do know we could sell that for a little while, but that's only going to last so long. Because the house isn't worth anything. I mean, we can get maybe $20,000 out of it, maybe $2,000 or $3,000 out of this campsite that she owns.

Okay, so here's the thing. What you guys need to study, and you need to do a little study on it before you get to Thanksgiving, is there's welfare nursing home it's called medicaid and it will not take her house it will make her sell the campground and apply that but after that social security basically pays medicaid plays for her nursing home and she goes to a medicaid nursing home it's government funded. Now, um, it's not, it's not as fancy schmancy as if you're paying 80 grand a year to be there, you know? Okay. But, uh, but, but, but she'll be okay. I mean, they'll feed her and take care of her. And, um, and if she needs care, she can go

into a Medicaid nursing home. And, um, and it sounds like that none of you are multi-millionaires no um i'm probably the most financial off um and the part of the issue too is i mean we're having this conversation at thanksgiving a few days later uh very soon later i deployed them to the uh to europe okay so you're not going to be involved in terms of physically. You're not going to be there. Yeah, and I can't be in the discussions. I'm not going to be in the sort of thing. Well, you can be in discussions unless you're on some kind of a mission

that doesn't allow communication with your family, right? Very, yeah. Okay, all right. Thank you for your service um i'm sorry you guys are facing this because it's a very it puts a knot in your stomach because on the one hand you got the her misbehavior and your siblings misbehavior with her money that and all that and on the other hand it's your mom right and so it doesn't matter how much she screwed up, she'd tell your mom. And that doesn't stop happening. So it breaks your heart in two because one side is saying this is ridiculous and the other side is, you know, she's your mom.

And so I'm sorry you guys are in this position, but I would just simply tell everybody we're going to Medicaid. Just find a Medicaid nursing home and put her in it. It's that simple if she needs care because none of you can afford to fund it. Do you think... The question also I would have is she hasn't had a job in 20 years. Would that affect any of the Social Security,

Medicaid, anything like that? Nope. She'll still get the Medicaid. Okay. But again, you need to read up on what the exceptions are. They used to be you could keep a home with value equity up to $78,000, and you could keep a certain amount of dollars in your checking account, and beyond that they would provide.

I don't know what the numbers are today. I haven't looked it up in a while. But no ancillary things like campgrounds or whatever, so you're going to be selling that and giving it to them, to the nursing home. But that won't even last a month so it doesn't matter well and if if i mean between you and me dave i mean i'm going to argue that the house goes to i mean if we're that's fine at this point there's no reason to have it yeah i don't disagree but i i think you just go look none of us can afford and medicaid is the option and this is how we're going to take care of her and then you don don't have to get in a big, oh, you used up all her money. You stole all her money

and she misbehaved and she's not taking care of it. You don't have to get into all that. Just take care of her, plug her into that. It's the only thing you can do. I'm sorry you're facing it. This is the Ramsey Show. If you want to do your debt-free scream live on the show, visit ramsaysolutions.com slash debt-free scream. We'd love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash debt-reescreen. We'd love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash debtfreescreen.