The Ramsey Show - App - You Make Too Much Money To Be This Broke!
Episode Date: September 23, 2024...
Transcript
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Joe is in Dayton, Ohio.
Hi, Joe.
Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Hi.
Thank you for taking my call.
Sure.
What's up?
So I'm calling because we had filed bankruptcy back in 2019.
Things happened.
We thought we were ready to buy a house. And now we are back in debt again
for a sum of about $118,000, not including my mortgage. So I know that there's an issue. I admit
that I don't know where to go from here because there's a lot of things that I've done that my
husband's not aware of. And I just want to get out of this cycle because I'm done.
Wow. That's got to be kind of scary. It's very scary. Yeah. So, um, what is it you've done?
Your husband doesn't know about. I've opened my credit cards. I have a total of like 18 credit
cards. I have a total. What are you doing with them?
If I can be completely honest and vulnerable, when we bought this house, I felt that I needed new things.
We are the poster child of trying to impress people and wanting to have nice things and do nice things.
And we put on this front like we have all of this money. Would it be okay to say that that's you not we yeah that's a you um it's i will say it's both of us he just
doesn't know he thinks because i make a lot of money that we just so he's not involved in the
finances at all not he doesn't even have access So the reason he doesn't know about it is just
because of his lack of involvement, not because you've actively deceived him. Fair, yes. That's
exactly it. Okay. What do you make? I make $125,000 a year by myself. What does he make?
He makes $35,000 a year, and I make an additional $15,000 with my side hustle.
Okay.
And what's your home worth?
My home is worth about $225,000.
And what's all this debt on, credit cards?
I have, so I have, I owe $1,300 to the IRS.
I have $9,500 of payover times, like paying for, like PayPal and Corona.
I have $16,000 in like online loans, like Prosper.
We have a $40,000 car loan and then $45,500 is credit card.
Okay.
All right.
And you guys are 55
i'm 40 i'll be actually my birthday's in a couple weeks i'll be 43 and he'll be um 45 okay all right
cool all right um well the the first thing i i would you, and John can elaborate, is that you're not going to be free or heal by yourself.
This idea that you're going to carry all the weight of this financial family
and make all the decisions is unwise, and it's not working.
Agreed?
That's correct.
And so we need two things relationally.
One is you go to him and say, honey, we're in a mess again because I didn't say no and you weren't involved.
So I've got to have you and me working together from this point forward for the rest of our lives where both of us know every single thing every single month, period.
We're going to do a budget together,
and we're going to take this $175,000 income,
and we're going to clean up this new mess that we've made since bankruptcy.
Okay?
Because basically you filed bankruptcy and didn't change a single habit.
No, not at all.
And your need to impress other people with money you don't have
that you don't even really like continued.
That is correct.
And so we relapse is what it amounts to.
So that's got to stop this need for affirmation from others.
One of the things we find with wealthy people is that one of the keys to them
becoming wealthy
is they reach a point they don't give a crap what anybody thinks.
And you give way too many craps what people think.
I do.
You said that.
You said that.
It comes from my childhood.
Oh, it comes from all of our childhood.
We all need affirmation.
We all need a pat on the head.
Right. But you're too dadgum old and rich income-wise to act like a 14-year-old girl that needs an affirmation.
Right.
Time to be a grown woman and stuff.
And can I ask one more question with that?
Sure.
Because I know that this is wrong.
My husband has worked at the same job for like 22 years.
He's not leaving. He's made it very
clear, but he only makes $16.75 an hour. And so part of me, again, I know this is wrong. I get
angry with him and sometimes tend to blame things on him. Like, what's your fault? You're not doing
your part. So I feel like I do this because I do what I have to do how can I get over that I know that
that is not right and it's a separate issue yeah you're you're looking to you're looking to blame
don't do that yeah you you've lost respect for him a long time ago and if you lost respect over
him over a dollar amount that's something you got to mind your soul over and y'all need to get into y'all need to go get
into a marriage counselor because that's a mess okay the okay i want to i want to double click
on what dave said anytime you have a behavior that you need to change that's resulting from
something out there that you're afraid of you're afraid what people are going to think the only way to heal is straight through it i had a season when i drove a used
corolla dave has a great story about the it is a used car after bankruptcy i want you to start
selling stuff yeah this car's got to go the car's got to go everything's got to go and i want you to
practice not having nice stuff and have people see you.
And you're going to find out you're not going to die.
And this is the path towards not giving a crap.
This is the path to freedom.
But you've got to practice it and go right through it.
Sell everything.
Everything not tied down.
So the two of you are going to do a budget every month with every dollar on paper.
We both look at it we both understand it
we both agree what the money's going to go before it goes for the rest of your life that's your
antidote and what comes with that is cleanliness meaning you have to sit down and start with oh
crap here we are so you're saying hey here's what's going on and you
cannot bring up his income as part of this conversation his income is not the reason you
bought crap for the spare bedroom right okay um for carna for god's sakes yeah i'm here to tell
anybody who does that that is the worst thing to do i'm the poster child of you think that you have
enough money and you make it and you can make child of you think that you have enough money and
you make it and you can make the payments until you so you live on beans and rice you don't go
out to eat you cancel any vacations and the two of you roll up your sleeves and sell everything
in sight and you have 175 000 your income to clean up 100 000 in debt it's going to take you 18 months
of scorched earth living where your broke
friends are going to think you joined a cult.
And that's just fine.
You need some radical, dramatic, traumatic changes to swing the pendulum all the way
to the other side for a while.
This is The Ramsey Show.
Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.
Rachel is in Eugene, Oregon.
Hi, Rachel. How are you?
Hey, good. Thank you for taking my call. How are you?
Better than I deserve. How can I help?
So my husband, he's a business owner, and frankly, the business is tanking.
And he's racked up a lot of debt on both personal cards and business cards.
And between that and his truck and trailer, we got a little over $90K in debt that we're looking at.
We have a home that we own.
We owe about $175K still on it's and we have about a four percent interest rate um or estimates are saying that our home is worth about 250 if we tried to sell it so
i was just going to see if you would advise us selling a home and going into a smaller place
or hanging on to it what do you make nothing I'm a stay-at-home mom.
What's he going to do?
He's looking at just getting a local job here,
possibly electrician apprenticeship.
But, I mean, we'd be making hardly anything, and he's not gotten a paycheck from work in probably three months.
How are you eating?
We had a stocked pantry that we've been working our way through,
and there's a food pantry locally that we've been going through in WIC.
Are you paying the light bill?
We had it last month, but I don't know if we're going to this month.
Okay.
I've got about $25 in my checking account.
Yeah.
So why would he take a half-butt job making nothing?
Our area is just there's not a lot.
We've looked.
He's very skilled.
He works in construction, but even with that,
he'd be lucky to get a $30-an-hour job.
Why? Eugene, Oregon is not like not doing construction.
There's construction all over the place around you.
There is, yes.
And he can maybe try and get on two crews, but just hours for that.
You know, most crews are on the same hour.
You know, they would both be day 10, 10.
Yeah, but an apprentice electrician is not going to make anything.
You said that.
So why would he even consider that?
Go get on three different crews and work like a maniac.
You have $25 and your wife's scared out of her mind.
You're about to not have electricity.
There's a Walmart in Eugene, isn't there?
Yes.
Can you go throw boxes on the night shift?
Like you've got two guys here who've got wives and kids,
and I can't fathom the situation you're in right now.
Not doing anything is not an option.
Right.
And I'm going to invest in my future by becoming an apprentice and starve to death?
No, thank you.
No.
Okay.
We need money.
Yeah, you're just trying to think of a new career to start.
Not now.
I need money.
Y'all are drowning.
That's like trying to think of a new boat when yours is sinking.
Like, the first job is to get to shore.
Sure.
Okay.
So I want him to go get three jobs
in construction and walmart box slinging okay today i want him starting right now
okay the truck and the trailer bullcrap construction stuff right there what in the
world what is that stuff worth um the truck he owes about 14 still and i looked on kelly blue book it's probably
worth about six if we're lucky he's kind of run it to the grounds with working it yeah what's the
trailer worth um i haven't looked at what it's worth we bought it for 17 000 um and it's a 2024
so it was brand new um but i don't know what it would go for now.
Okay.
Let's get rid of that.
And it doesn't sound like you're stuck in the truck for right now.
Let's get six jobs.
And here's what I want you to do, okay?
I'm going to put you on hold.
Team is going to pick up, and we're going to put you with one of our financial coaches.
Okay.
Now, he has to go get three jobs this week.
Okay.
Now.
Can I ask you about that?
Yeah.
Something about that, though?
Yeah.
With his business, he has a couple open jobs that he hasn't finished.
We'll finish them on the weekend.
Okay.
That's what he's talked about doing.
Okay.
We got $25.
Yeah.
Rachel, how many kids do you have at home uh three with a
fourth on the way i thought so okay yeah okay so i honestly i i don't want him to let those other
customers down but i'm more concerned that he doesn't let his pregnant wife down yeah okay
where you are is terrifying yeah my wife sharon will tell you that when she was in the exact same position,
she felt like she was driving down the interstate and hit a patch of ice,
and the car was spinning, and she was getting ready to hit the crud out of something.
She just didn't know what it was.
You know that kind of terror where you open your mouth to scream and nothing comes out?
Yep.
That's where you're sitting, kiddo.
Yes. yep that's where you're sitting kiddo yes and so you guys and the only answer to it is extreme
activity on his okay part so i'm working three things and he can he can put off working weekends
until he uh at the new jobs until he gets these jobs wrapped up but he needs to get them wrapped
up and wrapped up now okay and i want him to see how much money he can make well i don't want to
overwork i might burn out you're not going to burn out right before you die you will pass out
yeah he's been working 60 to 80 hour weeks the last three months but making no money right yeah
see that that's the issue so we need some money short term this is survival now once we get you with a coach and a counselor, here's what we're going to do.
The first money that comes in, let me tell you what you buy with it.
You ready?
Yep.
Food.
Okay.
Period.
Not eating out food.
Grocery store food.
You're at home with kids.
You cook.
Yep.
Fresh vegetables.
Fresh meat. Yes. Homemade everything. You cook. Yep. Fresh vegetables. Fresh meat.
Yes.
Homemade everything.
You cook.
Yep.
Okay?
Okay.
Food.
Lights and water second.
Okay.
Keep your utilities on.
You own the house.
Pay your mortgage third.
Okay.
Pay the truck payment fourth.
Okay.
And I don't care about anybody else until your family is warm and housed and fed.
Okay.
He can make that much money by the end of next week.
Okay, yeah.
You follow me?
So we'll get the wolf away from the door and the terror and the panic,
and then we can start to think about long-distant future.
But right now, we've got to think about long distant future but right now
we got to take care of our own household first okay that's biblical yes for sure take care of
your own household first yes and the idea of possibly selling the home to gain the equity
you may have to do that later but i don't think you do i don't think you have a home problem
or even a trailer or a truck problem i think you've had an income problem for some time and it's compounded and fell in on itself if we reverse
that trend and create a huge income with a ridiculous number of well-paid hours then we
can flip this thing on its head pretty quick i don't think you're going to have to sell it but
it all depends on how much money he can go make okay is that okay thank you yes and listen we're not
charging you for this coach we're going to pay for it i've been right where you are i remember
what it feels like to be so scared you can't breathe yeah okay and kiddo listen last thing
is this your husband is a good guy he's a good dad and he's a hardworking dude.
His business just failed.
That doesn't mean he's a bad guy.
And he doesn't feel real studly right now.
No, he doesn't.
When his business is failing, it takes away some of your manhood.
You follow me?
Yeah.
So you remind him you married him for him not for his truck and trailer
absolutely okay and he married you you married him because you knew he was going to take care
of you and he is he'll go do it yeah he'll go do exactly what i told him to do this guy's not a bad
dude yeah how old is he 26 uh 24 okay. Almost like I've done this before.
Yeah.
Honey, you're going to be okay.
We're going to walk with you, okay?
Okay.
All right, you hang on.
They'll pick up and get you set up.
Dave, what is the, this is a world I don't know that you've lived in.
What's the moment when, especially in this case, a man with a dream calls it?
Because I can't imagine working 60, 80 hours a week and my wife's going to a food kitchen.
We always call it too late.
Yeah.
Because we always hang on that much longer.
Yeah.
And sometimes it's too late to turn it or salvage anything.
Yeah.
So he should have been out of business six months ago.
Right.
Because it wasn't working then. Yeah. We know that because of the debt he's racked up not earning money. Right. So we know
he's been supporting this habit called a small business. So this dream. But your dream becomes
a nightmare. And those of us that are entrepreneurs, we hang on five months, four months, three months,
too long, almost always.
And then you get a scared wife saying about to cut the lights off.
Yeah.
Sharon would have left, but she didn't have a car.
Yeah, exactly.
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Welcome back. This is the Ramsey Show. And on the debt-free stage, we have Tanya and Ariel.
Where are you guys coming here from? We are coming from Huachula, Florida.
Is that outside of Tampa? Yeah, it's about an hour and a half south.
Ish. All right. And how much have you paid off? So we paid's about an hour and a half south. Ish? All right.
And how much have you paid off?
So we paid off our house $189,000.
Whoa!
Weird people.
Yes, sir.
Looking at weird people.
No doubt.
What's the house worth?
I think last I checked was $287,000.
How old are you two?
We're 34.
34 each.
You're going to pay for a house?
Yes, sir.
You know that's weird.
It is, yes.
In such a good way.
You're awesome.
And how much is in your 401Ks in your retirement?
I think right now, last I checked, it was around, I think, $70,000, something like that.
Okay.
So you're approaching a half-million-dollar net worth on your way to being millionaires,
and you're only 34 years old.
Yes.
Look at you!
Well done! That's a beautiful house thank you that's stunning well done guy 100 it is nice and 189 how long did it
take to this 34 months 34 months and your range of income during that time so i started out at
my local hospital around 120 000 and then we took a travel job, and I think last year it was around $350,000.
You're a nurse?
Yes, sir.
Okay.
Wow.
Travel nursing.
Here we go.
So the whole family go on the adventure, or are you just out of town?
No.
So we're fortunate enough my wife stays home, and she homeschools our boys.
So I was basically gone at work all the time, and she was home taking care of the kids.
But we all traveled with him.
We all traveled together.
Okay, okay.
So you're not gone from the family all the time?
No.
Okay.
Are you going to keep doing that, or are you going to go back and land at home?
No, we plan to go home.
Okay.
All right.
Good for you.
Well, I mean, you got that nice house.
Yes.
Living in a dadgum hotel.
I mean, that was, wow.
Okay, good for you.
Man, you paid a price to win is what you're saying.
Yes, sir, we did.
Wow.
Was it worth it?
Oh, yeah.
Did people think you're weird?
Anybody criticize you?
You know, life's too short to work so hard.
You just work all the time.
People say stuff like that?
We heard it, but we're used to being different, so.
Yeah, we've been on the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University since 2012.
Oh, wow.
And we got married super young, and we needed a way to find how to manage our money,
and your Financial Peace University came into our lives.
So we've been weird since 2012.
Okay, so was that your church or what?
Yes, sir.
Which church?
At that time, it was Celebration Church.
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
Very cool, guys.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
How fun.
How does it feel to have no payments in the world?
Like a weight off my shoulders.
Yeah.
So what, you know, you you guys you go out of town
you're really working a lot like you said i work all the time and you knock your house out at 34
years old what drives that what was your motivation what was your why why why push so hard at that
point like we had said we had been debt free up our house. So we went from having no debt to the $189,000.
And it was just a mortgage, but it still felt like a weight on my shoulders.
Because it is.
Yeah.
And so I was always thinking about paying it.
We were both thinking about paying it off early,
and I always thought, I guess, the morbid side of me from being a nurse,
what happens if I die or if I get sick and I can't work?
Then it's on my wife, so I wanted to pay it off off and it just be something we don't have to worry about when did you start
traveling during covid yes sir march of 2022 2022 okay oh after covid okay all right but still but
still there's a lot of travel nursing going on oh yes sir yeah because there's a shortage yeah wow
all right mom so husband comes and says, I'm going to hit the road.
I'm going to double, almost triple my salary.
Yes.
And you're going with me.
But you're going to be on your own.
Right.
Well, the good thing about us is that we've always had a strong communication.
So we were kind of thinking about it together.
He didn't just come to me and
was like this is what I'm gonna do he was coming to me and he was telling me like this is something
you know um painting a picture of our future for us so um he wanted to make sure that I was
on board with him first before he went and made that decision and took the steps for it. And of course I was because I think for me
the most important thing was to have him home
with our children more than what he was
because he was working just as much,
just getting paid like regular nursing pay.
So I was like, it'll be worth it in the end.
So just a few short years, we're going to hammer this thing out,
and then you can be home forever.
Yes, and that was what I had in mind the whole time
because it did get hard sometimes.
Yeah, live like no one else,
so later you can live and give like no one else.
So I have, this is personal,
I have a bad habit of having this kind of conversation.
Are you in?
I'm in,
we're going to do this.
And then it's going to be amazing.
And my wife and I,
we,
we,
we cross hands and we cheered.
It's like,
ah,
and then like 30 days later,
I'm like,
this is the worst I'm out.
Right.
So how did y'all keep going?
Because there,
there's a point when this is,
this leaves a cool idea and a neat moment to,
this is miserable day after day after day after day.
Oh, yeah.
Honestly, it was seeing the progress that we would make, every paycheck that he would get.
So about every two weeks, I was done and ready to go home.
And then the paycheck would hit and we were like, okay, we can do this.
This is why we're doing this.
I can do it for two more weeks.
Two more weeks.
I'll just put $15,000 on the mortgage.
I can do it for two more weeks.
Yes, sir.
Yes, that really was something
that kept me going for sure with the kids.
What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is?
It's been budgeting.
Being on the same page like Tonya said,
budgeting and sticking to that plan.
And I think living below your means, not comparing yourself to what you do or don't have.
Yeah, that's very nice.
Good for you guys.
Very, very, very proud of you.
Excellent job.
So talk to the person who's out there considering, I don't know, I don't know about working all those hours for a couple years, but I'll be free.
I don't know. It sounds tough. It is hard, right for a couple years, but I'll be free. I don't know.
It sounds tough.
It is hard, right?
Oh, yes.
Is it worth it?
Talk to him.
I think it is.
You just have to decide in your mind that the end goal is better
than what's going on.
I would rather take a couple years of pain than a lifetime of misery.
Yes.
The ability to delay pleasure is a sign of emotional and spiritual maturity.
That's what it comes down to.
How did you decide that this mortgage was painful?
Because most people get a mortgage and they're so happy that they quote unquote qualified.
They feel like they won something by getting to get underneath a squat bar.
That is their mortgage.
What in your life said, no, this is a burden.
This isn't something I should be happy about.
I think when we moved into the house after the butterflies left of owning our own home,
looking around at how beautiful it is. And then just thinking about the mortgage payments coming
up this month and we weren't making much ground on it on the monthly payments. And now it's like,
we got to get rid of this. I didn't like the feeling.
I like it. Good for you guys you guys all right and you brought the
kiddos in what are their names and ages so we have noah who's nine and jude our baby's three
he was actually like one years old when he started to bring them up and have them in the debt-free
scream or not yes sir come on up guys come on guys come on there you go very fun good looking
young men well done have they been practicing their debt-free screen?
They sure have.
Yes, they're here.
All right.
All right.
Because mom and dad are heroes.
They changed your whole family tree, boys.
It's pretty incredible.
You guys are amazing.
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you.
Very, very, very well done.
All right.
It is Noah or Tanya and Ariel.
I'm sorry noah and jude make paid off 189 000 house and
everything in 34 months at 34 years old making 120 up to 350 count it down let's hear a debt-free
scream three three two one We're debt free! Yeah!
Wow!
Wow.
So one of our folks visiting the lobby just reminded me,
I had forgotten anything about it.
1988, September 23rd, which is today for those of you listening live, was the day I filed bankruptcy and started this whole thing so that those people could be standing there right now.
Thank you, God. This is The Ramsey Show.
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All right, we're going on a cruise.
At least some of us are.
You may not be if you don't get your cabin reserved soon.
We're going to be there March 22nd through the 29th.
Next spring, the Live Like No One Else cruise.
The entire ship is Ramsey.
Holland America, very high end, very nice.
It'll be all the Ramsey personalities, including me and Sharon, the entire week.
Manit Chauhan from the Food Channel, Stephen Curtis Chapman.
Man, the lineup is unbelievable.
And, of course, it's all inclusive.
The restaurants are top of the line.
We've got all kinds of Ramsey experiences and talks we'll be doing on the cruise stage oh by the way yeah it's premium caribbean turks and
caicos puerto rico saint thomas the bahamas it's all there we got the spa ken coleman's going to
be conducting a pickleball clinic on how not to play pickleball but um
George Campbell will be doing a uh cannonball contest in the pool that he'll lead yeah that's
it like per square inch of body mass exactly yeah you have to measure it different Dave I've never
been on a cruise you haven't no this is my first one um but explain this to me there's different
levels of cruise ship I guess that makes, but there's definitely way different levels.
Yeah.
This is the fancy one.
This is the fancy one.
It's not the fanciest, but it's up in the top echelon.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
There are some that are pretty much Walmart on the seas.
This is, yes, this is not, this is not Walmart on the seas.
This is target.
I'm just kidding.
No, this is not even much better than that.
All right.
Excellent.
But, uh, yeah, it's, it's not a private shopping experience, but it is Nordstrom.
There you go.
So good stuff, yeah.
Yeah, some of the other ones I'll pass on.
I'm getting old.
But this is one of the ways they talked me into doing this is we're going to do it right.
All right.
Hey, RamseySolutions.com slash cruise.
There are a handful of cabins left.
You can reserve one for $600, and that puts you in line, by the way, to upgrade.
If you wanted to upgrade to something even bigger and nicer on the ship,
you pretty much need to already be on the ship to do that.
So jump in there.
I mean, we're like 90-something percent sold out, so you've just got a minute, hot minute.
Tabitha is in Savannah, Georgia.
Hi, Tabitha.
Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Hey, Dave.
Hey, John.
I am calling.
My husband and I are in Baby Step 4, and he is having issues getting qualified for life insurance.
Why?
Due to some medical issues.
Why?
He's PTSD, sleep apnea.
That is not treatable.
He is a disabled veteran, total and permanent, 100%.
So we've been battling that for about five years,
and we just keep getting turned down because of his medical path.
With the PTSD, he is in therapy, doing what he needs to do,
taking his medication, doing all that.
But we still are coming up against being turned down.
Is he also overweight?
I mean, slightly.
I mean, he could maybe lose 30 pounds.
Okay.
All right.
Does he smoke?
He does not.
Okay.
All right.
Well, PTSD is enough to make you, depending on the intensity of the diagnosis or whatever,
is enough to make you uninsurable.
So what you've got is an extra, how old is he?
33.
How old are your kiddos?
None.
Okay.
All right.
So what we're trying to do with life insurance is make sure you're okay if something happens to him. Yes. Okay. All right. So what we're trying to do with life insurance is make sure you're okay if something happens to him.
Yes.
Okay.
Now, when you can't get traditional life insurance, you're uninsurable,
there are things called guaranteed issue policies.
They are more expensive, but they're guaranteed issue.
There's no medical.
They just write it.
You write them a check, they do it.
And the biggest one you can get is call your mortgage company,
and they will sell you a mortgage life insurance policy.
They would love to sell you one.
It's about 5X of what you pay for the same amount of term
if he didn't have these diagnosis.
But you can still get it, okay?
So at least the mortgage would be paid
off if something happened and i would do that okay the other guaranteed issues are usually
kind of gimmicky small policies like ten thousand dollars with your checking account or uh two times
his salary with his work uh and they do it through a group policy and it's a guaranteed issue. Or if he's in an
association of something or a hobby in something, sometimes they'll let you buy a $10,000 or $20,000
guaranteed issue. Again, per thousand, they're expensive. But if you bought four or five of
those and you got mortgage life, then you got a check for 50 grand and your house was paid off.
That's better than nothing, nothing.
And it's not so expensive that it just breaks the bank.
Okay.
It's not an efficient way for the rest of you out there to buy life insurance.
But when it's your only option, it's your only option.
And, Dave, there's the other side of this teeter-totter, which is, Tabitha, you guys have to be hyper-intentional about not having anything on the
you-owe-something ledger.
Yeah, you get out of debt and stay out of debt.
So if something was to happen to him, the only bills you would need to pay,
if you have mortgage insurance, is you've got to come up with food and electricity
and water, right?
Yes.
And I work, so the biggest worry is the house.
Like if something were to happen to him, a car accident or whatnot,
I just want to make sure I can pay off the house
so I'm not having to figure out, like,
grieve him and then figure out where to go after that.
That's right.
The mortgage life, again, they love selling it
because it's five times what it ought to be,
and it's really profitable for them.
So they'll sell you one, believe me.
I'm sure they have one in their back pocket that they'll just whip that thing right out and hand it to you.
So that's your biggest one, mortgage life insurance.
For the rest of you, do not buy mortgage life insurance.
It's five times more expensive.
Buy the same amount of term insurance pay off your house with that for one time the expense i mean it's you know
just you know don't and don't get ripped off by your work life insurance uh if you're insurable
um and i will tell you i brought this up to her, but because she said sleep apnea is what made me think about it.
There's a correlation between that and being overweight, typically, not completely, but typically.
So the biggest things that keep people out of the life insurance market are smoking.
When you smoke, your life insurance doubles instantly.
And there's a reason.
You're going to spend more time in the hospital, and you're going to die earlier.
It's a statistical fact, okay?
So there's a lot of reasons to talk about that's a habit I got to kick.
It's super expensive, and I'm not talking about the cost of the cigarettes.
I'm talking about the cost of the medical care because you're two three x on your medical care cost and your intent your likelihood of dying and your 2x on your life
insurance cost so we're talking those cigarettes are costing you somewhere around 15 20 bucks a
piece something like that if you're out there in the market between all the things that add up that
that's costing you and uh right behind that is being overweight and so these are two things that people can
adjust right it's not easy to quit smoking it's not easy to lose weight um but but it's worth it
there's some serious financial benefits not to mention everything else. Not to mention the health benefits, that's right. Yeah, and so, you know, these are things you need to address.
I was playing golf the other day with this doctor who was slightly overweight.
He goes, you know, most of my patients are overweight.
I go, yeah, well, me too, you too.
And he goes, yeah, me too.
And he goes, it's ridiculous.
He goes, it's crazy.
It's America, right?
We're all carrying a few extra.
And he goes, this lady came in the day and she said, I think I have a glandular problem.
He said, no, ma'am, you don't.
There are no fat people in concentration camps.
Good God, Dave.
What a brutal old doctor.
I thought, well, there it is.
It's caloric intake, dave stay away from the donuts
dave you brutal old doctor with your belly sticking out telling this story it's great i loved it
no i it's hard nowadays i think we're running out of with with all the new medications we're running
out of of excuses to not say okay i can have some sort of control over this thing.
Well, you can.
I mean, there are obviously a few people who have medical situations.
Yeah, but I mean, there's so many options now.
Oh, God.
But the, oh, man.
But these are two things that most people can gain control over, and they will affect your finances.
Will they deny your life insurance over obesity?
Oh, definitely.
Had no idea.
Oh, absolutely, depending on the level of it.
But yeah, definitely.
And you can't get premium, for sure.
But BMI, I mean, they're looking at that for premium pricing, for sure.
This is The Ramsey Show.
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show,
where we help people build wealth, do work that they love,
and create actual, amazing relationships.
I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, PhD in counseling. He's my co-host today.
Open phones at 888-825-5225. Anthony's in Springfield. Hi, Anthony. Welcome to the Ramsey
Show. Hey, Dave. I didn't realize how easy it was to get a hold of you just dial the old phone brother
yeah that's awesome what's up i uh i you know i first heard about you when i was in high school
uh that was six years ago seven years ago so it's cool to be able to talk to you over the phone like this.
Well, honored to have you, sir.
How can we help you today?
So I have had, for the past two and a half, three years,
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I was really sick.
I was misdiagnosed for a while, so my symptoms got really bad.
I could hardly get out of bed.
I had also just moved out of my parents' house,
and it was really hard for me to work, make any sort of income.
And as time went on, it got worse and worse.
Eventually, I found some to hear what you had to say about how I could
maybe go about finding a job that is good for me.
Um, even though I have maybe a little bit more of a difficult time with my, um, with
my condition.
How long have you, um, been on these meds that are working
only about five months okay so what i my experience walking alongside folks with bipolar
um one or two over the years has been after several difficult episodes of either being really up or really down
and then you find some meds that work the hardest thing is to re-establish trust in you
yeah because you're always waiting for you're always waiting for this other shoe to drop is
that ring a bell yeah yeah okay the two things
that i've seen folks over the years stumble with bipolar disorder is number one never fully taking
that next step after they have um and i hate to use this word but i'm just going to use it you
know what i'm talking about just between us but stabilize once once you're leveled out
it's a fear of taking that next step.
And the other thing that I've seen is this feeling after six months, eight months,
I'm quote unquote okay,
and I quit taking my meds.
Yeah, my mom's a nurse
and she's really, really kind of knocked that into me.
Okay.
So if you're there,
the next thing I want you to do
is trust yourself as much as Dave and I are going to trust your next step.
Every single person you come into contact with in whatever job you take is going to be fighting their own battles.
Their mom's going to be sick.
They're going to be struggling with depression.
They're going to have credit card debt.
They're going to have a dad who's struggling.
Everybody's fighting something.
So I want you to focus on taking the next right thing which you got to go get a job
and you're going to slowly establish trust again in you yeah right and you'll have ups and downs
and that's okay but you're going to keep going you're going to keep going you're going to keep
going i'm proud of you man and by the, it's logical to trust the current version of you.
It would be illogical to trust the one-year-old version of you
when it comes to work.
Agreed?
One year ago was not a good thing.
Agreed?
Yeah.
But that's not the pattern we're dealing with today.
Today, we've stabilized.
We've got some meds that cut this thing leveled off.
And so there's reason, logically, to trust in your ability to hold the job.
What do you want to do, man?
I have no clue, and I've never known.
Okay.
Well, I'm going to hook you up.
We're going to hook you up with Ken Coleman's Get Clear Assessment
and maybe give yourself a picture.
But what brings you joy? What lights you up we're gonna hook you up with ken coleman's get clear assessment and maybe give give yourself a picture but what brings you joy what lights you up um i'm i really like
talking with people okay i'm kind of a people person i i enjoy hearing people's stories and
you know getting closer and and stuff like that.
I don't know.
I love going to church.
Well, a 24-year-old that can play well with others has got a lot of possibilities.
What's that? I said a 24-year-old that can play well with others has a lot of possibilities.
Yeah.
You might be an amazing salesman.
You might be an amazing salesman you might be an amazing um restaurant
here i mean there's if you like talking with people listening to their stories so much of
our world is so obsessed with people talking about themselves if you like hearing somebody
else's story you could you could do anything yeah you're the opposite of selfie yeah that's cool
that's that's i'm proud of you man way to go anthony way to go now it's just about re-establishing trust in you my brother coleman's book is find the work you're wired to do it has
the get clear assessment as part of it we're going to give that to you as our gift as soon as you get
it anthony take the assessment and then start looking and see if it doesn't spark some ideas
because it'll give you answers instantly of the direction you should go.
Also, let's send in proximity principle.
And that's going to give, Anthony is going to give you some tips on meeting people in
your current area that might be doing the thing that you're like, oh, okay, I might
try that.
It's going to walk you through step by step how to go meet those folks and begin to ask
the right questions so you can take your next step.
Yeah.
And don't put pressure on yourself that says i have to select
the thing i'm going to do for the next 40 years you have to select the thing you're going to do
for the next one year yeah the thing i'm doing right now didn't exist 10 years ago 15 years ago
no such thing as youtube or podcast didn't exist and here we are right or tick tick tock
which dave is a huge fan of yeah that i was gonna say something smart i like but i'll just
leave it at that you know i saw the guys reach for the dump button and then they just they pulled
back slowly they were afraid i was gonna air try to air something that's unairable that's what gets
fined by the fcc but there we go open phones here at 888-825-5225. John, we've got one minute going into the break.
I have dealt with,
in the financial world,
bipolar so much
because when they're manic,
they spend like maniacs,
no pun intended,
and then they're shamed and depressed.
They go underwater
and they can't work.
Back and forth, back and forth,
back and forth.
It affects income,
affects spending, both. And that doesn't bother me i can help you
with those things uh what bothers me is there's too many people in the mental health field and i've
used up all the time that act like this is not uh that you can't get better and people get better
all the time yeah well they they act like this is this is the you're
the worst thing that's ever you've ever been labeled and so you just go over in the corner
because you can't do anything it's just not true you and i both know people who work really hard
they take their medication they they start taking care of their bodies and their minds and man they
can go on to do great things yeah they're very functional yeah and they could be some of the
most amazing thinkers and doers out there. It's astounding.
And Anthony, he's got the world wide open in front of him right now.
Absolutely.
This is The Ramsey Show.
Hey, you guys.
I'm not a fan of the big banks, and you probably already know which ones I mean.
But I do like credit unions because they're nonprofit organizations that focus on their members. And I'm proud to endorse Fairwinds Credit Union because they share the Ramsey mission of helping people get out of debt and live generously.
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And while you're there,
look at the combined checking and savings account bundle they created just for Ramsey fans to help you take control of your finances.
That's Fairwinds, F-A-I-R-W-I-N-D-S dot org slash Ramsey.
Dr. John Deloney, Ramseysey personality is my co-host today today's question of the day is brought to you by why refi politicians make a lot of promises and sometimes they might
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Might not be in all states.
All right.
Today's question comes from Savannah in Michigan.
Savannah writes, I've been following your plan for three years and I've done well for
myself as a single parent.
I'm debt free.
I have a healthy emergency fund and will likely pay off my house in three years.
I've had to make many sacrifices and I've worked hard.
However, some of my friends and family are struggling.
There's a constant stream of complaints at family and church gatherings about the cost of groceries, increased rent, and house prices being unaffordable.
This is usually followed by snide comments about the haves and have-nots,
which occasionally descends into assumptions that those who own their home and have investments are rich, greedy people who benefited at the expense of others less fortunate? How do I, as someone
who has worked so hard to better my situation, deal with the hurt I feel when I'm called greedy
and selfish? How do I not feel angry and resentful towards those people when I've made so many
sacrifices to get where I am? They're the ones who choose to complain about their situation
rather than do something to get out of it.
What do I do?
That's tough.
You need some new friends.
I was going to say.
Man, as Jay-Z once said, you dust your shoulders off and you head out the door, man.
Yeah.
Shake the dust off your sandals and keep moving
uh yeah yeah you do you've got to um here's the thing uh one guy calls those people energy
vampires and uh they're sucking the blood out of your soul is what you're saying because that's
what negative people do that are victims and complain and blame everyone else.
They're the opposite of people who provide hope, who provide encouragement, which refreshes people's souls instead of drains them. Right. And so you have to say, all right, the people that I spend time with that are negative is going to be limited to the amount of energy I have to try to help
them not be negative but just to hang and sit for two hours while somebody bitches and moans and
no I'm not doing that I don't do that if I have someone enter my life that's going to act that way
they get limited access to my brain yeah and i can't stand it that's been a really
positive person that's been a hard thing for me and it's it's i i'm realizing to choose to spend
time around those people is to choose to have less of time left less of an impactful meaningful
time with my kids with my wife with my co-workers with my other friends it's finite that's right
it gives you the flu that's right it's contagious yeah and i spend
time it i it gets on me i get in my car and i'm like well what did you do who like it be it's hard
not to become the air you breathe and so dave how do you whatever we have if everyone in your church
is acting that way you need to change church it's time that's right but dave how do you how do you
begin to it sounds weird make new friends you got to go make
new friends you got to go be weird make new friends we were just talking off air about a
mutual friend of ours that's uh sober he's been sober about two years yeah he's not doing cocaine
anymore he's not drinking anymore you know what he's got new friends he's got new friends that's
exactly right because he wanted new life yeah you can't keep hanging out with people snorting cocaine if you want to quit cocaine. Hello.
You got to get new friends. And this is mental cocaine. Yeah. It's mental leukemia,
you know, and you're going to catch it if you hang around with it. You become who you hang around
with. You talk like them. You think like them. God help you. You vote like them. Right like them god help you you vote like them right and so you know read books
change and you don't have to be mean about it but i mean think about it if all your buddies are your
drinking buddies and you have an alcohol problem you have also got a friend problem and you have
to change friends you do not have a choice if you want to stop your alcohol problem our buddy
doesn't have a choice yep he can't run with the other crowd he used to
run with and be anything but a drunk and a coke coke head and real friends will say hey we're
going to love you and support you on this new adventure and either we're going to stop or man
we're we're going to honor you and not do this around you yeah i mean if you got buddies that
are your drinking buddies and you know they say hey come over the party but we're not going to
force it on you and we're not all going to be laying on the floor throwing up, you know.
You know what I'm saying?
Sure, yeah.
I mean, it's not, you know, what are you, a bunch of college students?
I mean, what is this?
And so, you know, people that are 50 years old still act that way.
I know it's shocking, but they do.
And so, you know, you've got to get new friends.
We yell this a lot on the show and we celebrate being weird,
but the truth is being weird sometimes comes at a cost.
People don't want to be around you.
You know that kid in math class that always has got hundreds
and everyone's just kind of annoyed by him?
You become that for their life.
Dave, first thing this morning at a staff meeting in front of a thousand people,
we had a guest come in and we've been doing a documentary with her.
She's one of those amazing women that's a single mom who takes away every single excuse.
Rural America, tons of different identities.
And she just said, enough is enough is enough.
And we keep running into these people over and over and over.
I remember the teacher in New York City city when there was a hundred percent lockdown
and she figured out a way to pay off six figures there's just these folks that continue to say
nobody's coming for me i'm gonna go out there and make this thing happen i'm not gonna sleep i'm not
gonna i'm just gonna go and go i'm gonna stop blaming because the blaming doesn't feed my family
complaining doesn't help solve anything and they just go do it and but that comes at a social cost when everyone wants
to just complain you know we built a house a few years ago um that was a little bit ridiculous
truthfully um there's a lot of fun it was a really nice place and we lived there for about 14 years
but we had a friend at that time when about the time we moved in came with some other friends we
weren't there and it got back to us that she said, well, they're just out of control.
That's ostentatious.
They should be ashamed of themselves.
You know what?
I helped her with that.
She never had to visit there again.
It was not a problem for her.
She did not have to endure my problem anymore.
So I assisted her with not being offended anymore.
She never ate dinner there.
So there you go.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, it's okay.
I can help you with that.
Well, and your best friends are the ones you call.
And when you have those moments, they celebrate with you.
Yeah.
They laugh at you.
I want some brag moments.
But they cheer you on, man.
Yeah.
They cheer you on.
A group of guys I get with once a month.
And one of our rules is cone of silence in the room.
Now, tell me something good that's going
on tell me something you can brag about in here because there's nobody else you can brag to yes
and i'm your friend i'm gonna i'm proud of you i guarantee you everybody walks out of that room
stand a little taller a little more shoulders back head up a little more like oh i'm gonna go
get mine then oh yes that's yeah baby howl at the moon i I'm saying, you know, that's it. That's it.
Versus like, well, you know, the little man can't get ahead.
We're all stuck.
I sure hope we can elect a president who will fix my miserable life because I won't get off my assumptions and do it myself.
I've never heard get off my assumptions.
That's fantastic Dave
Eeyore is your spirit animal
come on
seriously
so that's what she's dealing with
I feel for you darling
because I mean we've all got
the reason we're going off on
is we've all got people like that
but here's the thing
15 years from today
your income will be
within 10 to 15 percent of the average of your 10 closest
friends income.
And I bet, you know what?
I've never read this study, but I bet your emotional health will be too.
I bet your marriage will be too.
Yep.
I bet the books you read.
I bet just the joy you walk through life with.
Maybe the fact that you even read a book.
Yeah.
Ooh, there's a thought.
Yeah.
Wow.
Do you hang out with people that read or that knows everything on Netflix?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And by the way, groceries have gotten expensive.
Houses and rent have gotten expensive.
They have.
Yeah.
So we can make snide comments or we can get about it.
It just is.
Well, here's the thing.
We were talking about this this morning.
We don't have people on the debt-free stage screaming,
complaining about inflation.
No.
You notice that?
Yeah.
None of them are griping about interest rates.
Yeah.
They're not talking about the cost of eggs.
They're not talking about Bidenomics.
They took control of their life.
Interesting.
This is The Ramsey Show.
Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage.
Corey and Corrine are with us.
Hi, guys.
How are you?
Doing well, Dave.
How are you?
Better than I deserve.
Welcome.
Where do you all live?
We live just outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, about 45 minutes northwest.
City of brotherly love.
I love it.
Welcome to Nashville.
And how much debt have you two paid off?
$274,000.
Woo!
But how long did this take?
Six and a half years.
Wow.
Good for you.
And your range of income? We started out at $117,283 and went up to $145,731. Cool. What do y'all do for a living? Are you an actuary? To the dollar. No, but I am a nerd.
I am an HVAC service technician. Love it.
Okay, cool.
And I work at the YMCA.
I'm a call center registrar.
Amazing.
So $274,000 over six and a half years.
I'm guessing that might be the house.
Well, Dave, we paid off a loan from a 401k.
And then we bought property in the mountains.
And we paid that off and then yes we
did pay off our primary residence as well looking at weird people very good what's this house worth
um well it's gonna sound kind of funny the the one in the mountains is a we build a house on it
it's 143 acres that one's about 800,000 and the one that we currently live
in is about 279. Okay I'll go with that yeah I like it I like it very fun very fun so you're
millionaires and how old are you? I'm 50 and she looks a lot younger. I'm 52 proud. I like it I'm
going with that. Wait wait wait, wait, wait. You can't
be a millionaire and have two properties if
you work in HVAC
and at a call center at the Y.
That's humanly impossible. Haven't you
heard about the price of eggs?
It is
impossible. It is impossible if
you don't follow the Ramsey plan.
Whoa.
Sign him up. Sign him up. Well, there we go. So what do you
tell people? I mean, this is pretty impressive. You pulled off a deal here. Now here, let me guess
too, the way you did the mountain property, you don't have anywhere near 800 in it. No, no, no,
no. We bought just bare land and then I pretty much built the house with family.
Yeah.
Okay.
We just paid as we go.
Yeah.
That's what we did.
So you got little to nothing in it compared to the value.
But you still end up with a fabulous property, and then your home, your day home, you're
through the weak place.
Right.
Yeah.
I like it congratulations what's
it like being one of those kind of guys that can fix stuff and build stuff i i honestly if i had
to pay somebody to do everything that would be a big problem it's a lot cheaper to do it yourself
he's also tight yeah and the nice thing was you you taught me how to do everything too so in case he's not around i can
fix a kitchen sink too so just kick me while i'm down thank you ma'am appreciate you
john john i don't know what this means about you but we'll deal with that later we all know what
this means about we'll deal with that later this is not your moment this is there okay so what
happened what happened six years ago and you just said forget it let's just be millionaires and pay it all off as we go um okay so we never really had a lot of
credit card debt um but um the one or two months that we did carry a balance over i got upset with
her for not being able to pay it off when i was the one spending on it and um that was which was like a hundred
completely unfair of me and I didn't know that until Dave uh smacked me upside the head with
a two by four um metaphorically of course yes and and so we um I found you guys um I'm so tech
unsavvy it's it's crazy um a friend of mine set me up with iheart radio and
it's a part of the setup it asked what you're interested in and i said finance and talk radio
well ding ding you came up so i guess i did as soon as soon as i heard your message and that you pulled your teaching from the Bible,
God's never lied to me.
So I figured go ahead and follow that plan.
That works for me.
And we had four and a half hour drives up to the mountains on more of a regular basis.
So then that's how he got me into it too.
So we listened as we would travel.
And then I got really excited about it.
And he surprised me with the girls and came home. I'm a type A personality. And there was this just obnoxious
chain, just the big chain link all the way around my kitchen. And for every link, it was $1,000
left on our debt. And so I was motivated to get rid of that chain
just for aesthetic purposes awesome exactly yeah double payments to you know slip it away
amazing well congratulations you two how's it feel great great yeah really does. Any suggestions you have to somebody listening?
Yes.
Follow the plan exactly.
Like I said, I service heating and air conditioning,
and there is what we call a sequence of operation.
If you want to know what's wrong with a piece of equipment,
you have to know where it stops in the sequence of operation. And if you want to know what's wrong with your finances,
figure out where you've stopped in the sequence of operation is what I call your baby steps.
And respect each other and respect the program, respect the budget.
Meaning stick to it.
Well, I like the way you said that because that's different than like,
stick to it. Yeah. Like there's something about respect me and I'm going to respect you and we're
going to respect this thing. That's a level of dignity and we both promised, right?
Absolutely.
We gave our word on this deal.
That's cool.
He's my hero.
So are you.
He's my hero.
He's my partner.
Yeah.
You guys are incredible.
I'm so proud of you.
You're both heroes.
Way to go.
You're sitting here 50 years old.
You got a paid for mountain property, paid for home.
Everything's paid for.
You're millionaires as a result. And you did that working as a heat and air tech and and working
in the call center at the y it's very impressive don't tell me you can't win they just took away
all your excuses boys and girls yeah very well done cory and corinne philadelphia 274 000 paid off in six and a half years making 117 to 145 count it down let's
hear a debt-free scream three two one we're dead free yeah yeah there we go there we go i think the
universe is trying to tell me something, Dave.
This is the fourth or fifth person I've met personally today that is a curve buster,
is an excuse stealer.
You can't make any excuses.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, that's it.
It has to take away.
It's one of the reasons we do this.
It's called hope.
Right. You know, once you see someone and you go i can do that that's hope that's hope i can do that
it's a light in the darkness i can do that i can do that look at that i can do that i got smart
but i'm smart i'm a smart i can do that that's right i can do that he worked hard but i work
hard i can do that and that's called hope and that's why we put these stories that are true out there um and have for so many years we kind of backed into this debt-free scream
thing we didn't invent it a lady just called up and started screaming one day i'm debt-free i'm
debt-free i'm debt-free i paid off everything dave and she hung up and that was the first debt-free
scream you know it's like so yeah but, you need to celebrate when you freaking win.
Right.
We were just talking about that with the other thing a minute ago.
You need some people you can brag to.
And we're the people you can brag to.
We'll brag with you.
We'll brag on you.
We're proud of you.
You're heroes when you take control of your life while standing neck deep in a bunch of victims.
You know?
Everybody's standing around barking and carrying on
and acting like they're stuck.
In the richest country the world has ever known,
with more freedom and technology at your fingertips
than at any time in human freaking history.
You got no excuses.
You are free.
You live in America.
Shut up and go suck it up buttercup go do it there's no
excuse and cory and corinne just head to the mountains and say we'll go to our other house
peace out later peace out my 800 000 weekend property this is the ramsey show
i've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken
are from situations that are completely preventable.
Yeah, and what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like,
oh, it's terrible, are people that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly,
and they don't have life insurance.
When you have to think through, how am I going to pay my bills in the middle of next week, in the middle of all that
grief, like it's just, it is, it's terrible. So life insurance is the one thing, especially as a
mom with three little kids that I'm like so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive.
Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance.
And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies.
It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here.
You've got to say it out loud, and you've got to say,
I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them
and taking the time to put this stuff in place.
The cost of a stinking pizza.
To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282.
That's 800-356-4282, or go to zander.com.
Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.
Coordinating a Financial Peace University class is a great way to stay motivated on your own baby steps journey while you encourage others.
When you lead a class, you get free access to the FPU lessons,
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If you have a passion for serving others, this is a great way to help others experience the life change you've seen yourself.
Go to fpu.com, lead, and get your first class set up, or click the link in the description if you're listening on YouTube or on podcast.
John is in Tucson.
Hi, John.
Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Thank you for taking my call.
Sure.
What's up?
I'm on a home in California for the last, well, 50 years ago is when we purchased it.
We've rented it for the last 20 to the same renters, a young couple,
and I'd like to see about how we can go about selling that house to them.
And I carry the paper.
Why would you want to carry the paper?
Because I don't think they can afford to go get a loan
for the amount of money that would be needed to purchase the home.
So if they can't afford a loan, why would you want to be their bank?
They're nice kids.
They've never mistreated the house.
We're getting up there in age.
And so I don't need a serious amount of money for any particular reason.
We live comfortably. We've been debt-free for, I don't know a serious amount of money for any particular reason. We live comfortably.
We've been debt-free for, I don't know, 45 years.
What's the house worth?
About $425,000 to $500,000.
Okay.
So if you sell it to them for $450,000 and you carry the paper,
they're going to have payments to you, correct?
Correct.
And if they get a bank loan, they're going to have payments to the bank, correct?
Correct.
Correct.
And the payments are going to be almost the same.
Well, no, because I wouldn't charge them near as much.
I guess banks aren't charging much interest now.
And you can get a 5% loan now.
Okay.
If you charge them 2%, there's no difference in the payments.
Not much, anyway.
Okay.
Not much.
I mean, they're going to have about the same payment in it either way.
And if they can't afford to pay the bank payment, they're not going to pay you.
How much are you renting it to them for?
$900 a month.
Okay. $900 a month won't support this house if you renting it to them for? $900 a month.
Okay.
$900 a month won't support this house if you sell it to them.
No, but I could financially do it for $1,300 a month plus property tax.
They'd have to cover property tax and insurance. Which covers about $160,000.
And it doubles the monthly payment.
If you put the monthly payment out there,
let's say they put down nothing
and you put a monthly payment on $450,000,
you know that's not $1,300, right?
I know that's not $1,300.
I'm not that silly.
I know, but I'm not calling you silly.
I'm just saying,
you can't sell, unless you sell them this house for $160,300. I'm not that silly. I know, but I'm not calling you silly. I'm just saying you can't sell, unless you sell them this house for $160,000,
they're not going to have a $1,300 payment.
Okay.
So that's how
that would work, is I would sell it for less.
Yeah, if you want to give them
half of the value of the house
for free because they're a nice young couple,
then carry the paper also.
But I think you giving them half the house for free because they're a nice young couple is probably enough of a gift.
I think they go get their own mortgage.
Okay.
Here's my problem, okay?
They're used to paying for a long, long time way below market rent.
Would you agree with that?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
And you're afraid they can't afford any more than that?
Well, I don't know if I'm afraid or if I've just not asked that question.
Okay.
All right.
I guess I would find out their incomes and let's figure out how we can assist them.
I'm okay with the idea of you giving them a deal on the house.
I just don't want you putting them into something they can't do,
and you turn a perfectly good situation,
it's not perfectly good because it's way under-rented,
but a perfectly good young couple,
and we put a pinch on them while we were trying to do something good.
You were trying to do something nice,
but if you put them in a payment that strangles them,
the net result is not nice. Agreed?
Agreed.
Yeah, so I really want to get into this and figure out how we can do this.
So having said all of that, let's pretend that you find out that they can afford a payment
on a price that you're willing to take for the house.
What would you be willing to sell them the house for, price-wise?
$350,000.
Okay.
All right.
So you can sell them the house for $350,000,
and they have a $3,000 a month payment,
and you can either carry back the paper
or you can ask them to get a bank loan.
Assuming their credit is good enough that they could get that bank loan,
I would much rather you have the cash because otherwise you have a payment
with someone who's used to paying $900,
and now we've got them on $3,000 a month and three times as much.
And then if it goes sideways, you have to try to foreclose on someone in California,
which is dead come near impossible. Yeah. And then if it goes sideways, you have to try to foreclose on someone in California,
which is dead come near impossible.
Yeah.
It's the worst state in the United States for a foreclosure.
So, Ed, your advice is for them to set a price.
Don't carry the paper. Don't carry the paper.
Just get out of the business.
If you want to give them a bargain, give them a bargain as you walk away.
If you want to be a blessing to them and help them, and you do.
You love them.
You think they've been with you 20 years.
You like them.
They're a nice young couple.
You don't need the money, so we're going to sell them a $450,000 house for $350,000.
That's a deal.
You're a generous, kind man, John.
Thanks. And walk away. That's a deal. You're a generous, kind man, John. Well, thanks.
And walk away.
You better walk away.
Okay.
Yeah, don't get yourself in a place where you end up having to be the bad guy
after you were the good guy.
Because you won't be able to be the bad guy.
You'll just get no money, and they'll keep staying in the house.
Yeah, it'll be squatterville.
Yeah.
I mean, because California foreclosure laws are yeah it's i mean new york and california you don't want to have to you don't
want to try to foreclose there yeah very very difficult what about the other side of that what
if you sat and said hey i'm going to keep i'm going to stay with this way way way under market
rent the renter if they're in california they're in a 450 000 house paying 900 bucks a
month at some point if they're able to sock away the overage every month that they would be paying
so if they were able to put away yeah they could you could help them just talk talk them into
saving the other 2100 yeah it seems to me that they get way ahead of 24,000 a year. Yeah, they could do all right with that over time.
50,000 over two years, 100,000 over four.
You put it down a good payment, and I'd give you an option to buy it from me later.
Save up the money.
There you go.
But something like that's fine.
So in general, folks, if you have a paid-for piece of property, keep it and rent it or sell it.
Because if you're renting it and it goes up in value, you're the landlord,
you get the benefit of it going up in value,
and you can raise the rents as the market goes up.
If you sell it to someone, you've locked in all you're going to get for it. The total price is
locked in. It's not going to go up. They're going to get the appreciation and the monthly payment
is locked in. It's not going to go up. So you're, if you're going to collect payments from someone
on a piece of real estate, you're better off being the landlord than by being, than being the bank.
So the chances of me owner financing something are
zero. I'll be the owner. If I'm going to, Oh, if I'm going to owner finance, or if I want to get
rid of it, I would rather take a little less and get the cash and be done a clean break, be over
done finale over done. You know, it's just, just, these things come back and bite you in the butt five years later,
and you go, ah, and I'm afraid that's where he's going to end up.
And part of that's just because he's just the nicest guy on the planet.
He's got a great soul.
That's right.
Yeah.
And that'll, yeah.
I'm not trying to say you have to be mean, but he's just really nice.
Hey, don't forget to download the Ramsey Network app and watch the whole show for free.
That concludes the portion that you're going to see on YouTube and podcast,
but you can watch it all on the Ramsey Network app for free.
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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions,
it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth,
do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.
Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show,
number one best-selling author, Ph.D. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, number one best-selling author,
PhD in
counseling. He's my co-host today.
Thanks for joining us. Open
phones at 888-825-
5225. Jared
is in Lexington, Kentucky.
Hi, Jared. How are you?
Hi, Dave and Dr. John.
What's up?
I just had a question.
I've been married for about a year now, got no debt.
We make around $50,000, $60,000 a year.
We rent right now.
I got a year left in college and got about $54,000 in a Roth.
My question is how do you protect your heart and your mind from loving money?
Well, to start with, someone who asks that question is probably not going to struggle with it.
If you just, by the nature of you having asked the question, you're concerned about the subject,
so you're paying attention, so you're probably not going to have money or wealth or items become an idol in your life and take over, and you lose your perspective,
which is what you're concerned with, I think i'm understanding you right um yeah uh from from a spiritual standpoint if you
want to go at it from that angle uh the thing that helped me that i've discovered is um that
i don't own anything as a christian i'm a manager a steward of things that god gave me to manage
and uh when i'm faithful with the little things he gives me more to manage
it's what the word says and when i'm diligent i prosper that's what the word says. And when I sow sparingly, I reap sparingly. And when I sow abundantly, I reap abundantly.
When I plant lots of corn, I get more corn.
When I plant less corn, I get less corn.
That's what the word says.
It's a cause-effect situation, a sowing and reaping situation that we live in.
And those are God's rules not mine
so it those rules indicate to me that prospering is just fine with him uh as long as you said it
doesn't take over my heart and my mind but the way i remember it is is that what i the more wealth i
have the more responsibility i have the heavier it is crud the more stuff i own the more wealth I have, the more responsibility I have, the heavier it is.
Crud.
The more stuff I own, the more repairman I have to know.
You know, something breaks all the time.
So, you know, I've got responsibility that goes with this.
It's not just sitting around and eating, you know, chocolate ice cream all day long
and doing nothing and being useless that's
not it's just not what we're called to do right so there's a whole thing that goes with this it's
more than simply the stuff just we're sitting here apathetically losing our spiritual way
we don't so uh my job is to manage stuff for god and the more of it i manage the more stuff
that the devil is not managing because the devil's got his people
right and some of them are managing
money too and so
the more of it I manage for God
the less the devil gets to manage
so that's kind of like my job it's kind of like your job
so but I'm
not worried about it taking over my heart
because it's not really mine
does that make any sense?
okay yeah
where's the root of this question Jared? um because it's not really mine. Does that make any sense? Okay. Yeah.
What's the root of this question, Jared?
Well, marriage, like combining everything, I'm 25. I haven't spent much time having my own income or having to worry about life. You know, my parents have taken care
of me well, and the more responsibility that's been added, the more I've seen, okay, I do need
to be a manager of my own money, and I do need to steward these things well. Good. And I guess I've had my mind more on how can I be a good steward,
and I'm just realizing that, and I don't want it to be my priority.
I don't want my wife to think that I'm thinking about money more than her,
and I certainly don't want to replace that with my
relationship with God absolutely yeah absolutely two things that have helped me a lot is the phrase
for what like I'm going to go work some extra hours and if I'm working extra hours because I
don't want to go home if I'm working extra hours to avoid family responsibilities which I've been
guilty of throughout my entire working career then that's me putting an idol in front of myself. If it is because I want to get
my college, my kid's college fund, if I want to pay off the house, if I want to do some things,
money's a tool, right? So that question for what, right? And then the second thing has,
and I've just had, I thought I was a generous person before I, Dave and I started hanging out and I started traveling with him and he became a friend.
And generosity tends to cure anybody that I've seen of the worship of money.
It becomes a way that you can love and honor people and see people and take care of their needs.
And so generosity in the phrase for what has been helpful for me.
But I like, Dave, I like the whole platform.
It's not our money, man.
We're passed through.
Well, generosity is easy when you're giving away someone else's money.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Yeah.
Once I got the stewardship thing straight, the generosity is easy.
Yeah.
It's not mine.
Sharon was like, you tipped too much.
I said, no, God did.
Yeah, not ours. It's not my fault. It's not mine. Sharon's like, you tip too much. I said, no, God did. Yeah. It's not my fault.
It's not ours.
Yeah.
That guy wasn't, he didn't do a good job and you still left him a ridiculous tip.
It's not about whether he did a good job.
It's about you and me.
But what's strange is over time, if you ask my wife, what's one of my most annoying traits,
she would say, how much my husband tips.
And what's one of my favorite thing about my husband
is how much he did how much he tips how generous so it's it's it's just both and but i love that
idea it's we're a pass-through man we're a pass-through exactly yeah deidre or deindra
deidre i don't i don't know something like deandre deandre deandre thank you is in
raleigh is it deandre yes it is good johnaleigh. Is it DeAndre? Yes, it is.
Good.
Yeah, he's working on reading.
John got it right.
Dave's going to learn to read here soon.
He's working on it.
Hooked on phonics, baby.
That's me.
All right.
What's up, DeAndre?
So I have a question, and my question is, how do I even get to Baby Step 1?
More money.
Yeah, and that's what I'm telling myself.
What do you make?
So right now I'm at about $70,000, $80,000 a year.
Where on the flip is it all going?
You can't come up with $1,000.
So I have about $120,000 in debt.
Okay, that's a good answer.
Yeah.
About $103,000 of it is student loans.
11,500 is my car.
And then about 3,300 of it is credit cards.
Good.
Okay.
Have you cut up the credit cards?
I have.
Good.
They're all gone.
Yes.
Good.
Okay.
Are you on a written every dollar budget on the app?
You got every dollar assigned before the month begins?
Yes, I do.
When did you do that?
Literally before I got on the phone with you guys.
There you go.
Yeah. Your thousand will be here this month.
You'll get past baby step one this month.
You have enough income coming in.
Once you decide to make it a priority and you make this stuff behave,
you're going to be just fine.
You're just at the beginning of the journey, sir.
It's going to be a wonderful ride.
Hang on.
This is The Ramsey Show.
Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today.
Dylan is with us in Pittsburgh.
Hi, Dylan.
How are you?
Good, Dave. How are you doing?
Better than I deserve. What's up? So I just kind of want to get a little financial and life advice.
Me and the wife, we have been married for about a little over six months now,
and we found out a little over a month after we got married that she was pregnant. And she was pregnant with twins.
Well, we had a little bit of complications.
And unfortunately, she went into early labor.
And we lost both of our boys.
So, the last, thank you, sir.
The last couple months have been a little bit of a struggle with her not being able to work.
And kind of just going up based off
of my income. So, you know, going from two incomes to one makes life a little more difficult.
So we're just trying to, you know, work through the financial side of things and
obviously trying to get through, you know, the loss of our boys. So just, you know,
just kind of looking for a little bit of guidance and a little bit of advice. Man, I'm sorry, Dylan. That's awful. Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. Um, is your,
I guess there's several things here. One is the grief side of this. And then the other is just
the financial side of this. So I'm assuming you'll have hospital bills that are outstanding.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Have you sat down with somebody at the hospital to walk through that?
No, we just got out. We've been out of the hospital for just over a week now,
so we're still kind of dealing with the grieving process right now.
Jeez Louise.
Okay.
So the grief process will go on for some time,
and I've got a couple of ideas for you on that. I think putting on the calendar, maybe 30 days from now or 60 days from now, scheduling an appointment with the hospital administrator, just to sit details. And this is the ugly other side of grief.
We call it the business side, but there's just the reality of these business things that we got to do.
Yeah, unfortunately.
Right now it's about getting home and getting settled and exhaling and wrestling with the truth that y'all had plans, right?
Yeah.
Y'all have a room in the house already?
Yeah, we were in the process of getting everything set up
and getting ready to start painting.
And, you know, we bought, you know, mostly everything we needed.
And now, obviously, it makes it a little more difficult
having those things in the house.
Yeah.
I wouldn't rush, okay?
Okay, yep.
There is a sadness that is having those things in the house,
and there's a sadness running to the restroom and walking by that room,
and it's empty.
And there is just grief, but that seeing it and experiencing it
is part of the healing process.
Okay?
Yeah, absolutely.
And there's sometimes a rush.
People who are well-meaning will say, we need to get rid of all that stuff and give it away and donate it.
And sometimes that robs our bodies of the natural.
This just stinks, and we're going to work through this thing together.
And I do recommend, not right this second, but over the next two or three months,
sitting down and writing a letter to each of those boys,
and maybe you write one and your wife writes one and you all read them to each other
just as a part of the healing process
and saying their names out loud.
My wife and I lost several pregnancies,
and I've got their names tattooed on my body.
I mean, everybody does this thing differently,
but I do think acknowledging this and experiencing that together is an
important part of this thing as y'all work, as y'all head into the future.
Okay.
There's just not an easy way through it. Dave, you have some ideas?
Yeah.
What does she do for a living?
She actually worked for a child care learning center.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
And what do you do i work for a um the local county words department okay all right um well i mean the um i i think to the extent you can financially, just give yourself some margin.
Putting her back with a bunch of children when two of hers just went to heaven
sounds barbaric almost.
So I'd give her as much room as you possibly can returning to work financially.
And even if she, for some reason wanted to change careers
uh i guess we can talk about that i'm not sure if that's the right thing but i just
i'm okay i mean it's been a whole week you know so when it's been a whole six months if we're
still debilitated then that starts to be a concern but six days you should be yeah you should be in
a puddle that would make you normal okay and so
you're back to work because that's how you're coping she's sitting home how she's coping and
that's okay neither one of those things are bad but again so you want to see some progress there
um because that's going to involve her income coming back to the house to be able to deal with
whatever bills you've got, including medical bills.
Yeah.
How flexible is her workplace?
They've been pretty generous with, you know,
giving her as much time as she needs.
And she doesn't have any plans on going back at least for,
I think she said at least a month she's going to try to take off
and then go from there and see how she's feeling at that point.
Can you navigate the finances during that month?
Based off my income, it'll be very difficult.
I don't think I'd be able to financially afford to pay everything,
but obviously we've got to find a way to get through it one way or another.
So I'm doing my best to try to you know find ways to save money make more money um those type of
things so well not today but in the next few weeks she needs to know this that she needs to
know the same numbers you know okay not to force her to go back to work, but she needs to know that if you're not back then,
this is not going to get paid,
and you're not back then, that's not going to get paid.
That's fair for her to know as an adult.
Yeah, absolutely.
We did start, now my father-in-law,
he took your financial peace university class,
and so he's kind of helping us kind of set up a spreadsheet
and get everything in order and try to pay from the smallest debt down.
And we're trying to knock it out as well.
Well, first thing I want you to do is just make your bills.
Yeah, absolutely.
Before you start reducing debt.
I'm not worried about reducing debt right now.
I heard from you you weren't able to just even make your bills for the first month.
Yeah, it's a struggle yeah okay that spreadsheet doesn't matter do you make your bills so you got to at least cover the basics and that's the budget and the two of you can go over
that budget you can load it into every dollar again it's been four days five days six days i
am not talking about today but somewhere in the next week or two, she's going to, it's part of
her being a grownup and part of you being a grownup that in the middle of this, we have to
also look at the, as John said, the reality of the business of life continues, whether we feel
like it or not. I would like to just implore both of you, please. And anybody out there who's
experienced loss, please, please do not go home by
yourself and shut the door and sit alone you gotta have somebody in your life that you can call that
will come sit with you even if it's just we're gonna meet for coffee i'm gonna show up on your
front porch and sit with you whatever it is you gotta have people that will grieve with you grief
demands a witness is the same that's right as kessler says grief demands a witness you gotta
have people that you will just be sad with you they don't have to say anything just bring nachos
or they just bring coffee in the morning or whatever but um and it's important to get outside
and you see the sun come up yeah vitamin d is a good thing just yeah just seeing the sun come up
yeah it's a tough season man i'm so sorry yeah there's a fine balance between um sitting in something and progressing through
something right you got to do both simultaneously it's a loose tight kind of thing right yeah and
and the idea of when you're sitting in it it's just not sitting in it alone um because there's
somebody else's rowing the boat the thing's's still moving, right? But sometimes we can't row,
and someone else is going to row for us, row with us.
But yeah, you got to have people.
And then there's got to be little things,
like I will get up today,
and I'll go have a cup of coffee on the front porch.
I will get up today,
and I will check in with my wife
and see how she's doing before I go back to bed.
Like, we're going to start slowly,
as you said, baby-stepping our way
towards what happens tomorrow.
But this is just a sad moment. Y'all just got home every that house is supposed to feel heavy right now it's exactly
um how it's supposed to feel and i'm just sorry i'm just heartbroken for you it's awful
yeah so sorry this is the ramsey show
dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today.
Thank you for joining us, America.
We're glad you're here.
Susie is in Salt Lake City.
Hi, Susie.
How are you?
Good.
How are you?
Can you hear me okay?
Absolutely.
What's up?
Awesome.
I have a question about moving forward.
I have five kids, ages 11,
and I have my most recent one just last December.
And my husband and I,
we just completed Financial Peace University.
We paid, let's see, $2,100 of debt
in the last nine, maybe in the last year.
Okay, so I'm a little nervous.
You mean $21,000?
Yes, $21,000.
We paid $13,000 in credit card debt that I took out for my business,
and then $8,000 on our van.
How's your business doing?
It's okay. I would say, like, I've really just kept it floating. So it's not really, you're not really making any money.
Well, I haven't been because I've been paying off debt, but we got on it together and we just
paid it off together. We just paid the van off together, which is a big deal for us.
Good.
How can we help today?
Okay, so earlier this summer, so, okay, so with the last three babies that I've had,
something that's really benefited my kids is chiropractic care,
like especially the pediatric field.
With my business, I've helped lots of pregnant women.
I help people heal holistically.
And I always recommend people who struggle with their babies
to go into a pediatric chiropractor.
And I told my husband that this summer.
Like if I were to do anything else with school, I would do that.
But as I've done research, it felt like this big aha, like this is what I want to do.
But I've done a lot of research.
We've had a lot of conversations.
And this is the first time that we found a way that we could actually cash flow this.
And so it felt very clear that this was possible.
You're going to cash flow chiropractic school and you have five children, 11 and under.
Yes.
And how much is chiropractic school?
It's $140.
It's how much?
It's $140.
And what does your husband make?
Right now he actually brings home $60 with his day job. So how are we cash flowing 140?
We could sell the house, get the equity out of that, and then put more equity towards another
house when we found one. Susie, please don't do that. Okay. Tell me why. Because you have five kids, 11 to zero.
Okay.
You need a home right now.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That's the main reason.
Yeah.
And that was one of my big concerns is they are very young.
Yeah. You don't have the time margin to devote to this.
Who would watch your kids while you were at chiropractic school,
which is a,
which is a doctorate degree.
Yes.
Four of them would be in school.
Um,
I would just need someone to watch my baby and I wouldn't be looking at this for maybe two more years,
looking at, like, stacking up as much cash as possible through my business
now that I'm not paying anything,
and through my husband's business as well as we build up our emergency fund.
But, I don't know know my desire has gone down so i'm just really thinking like is this a good
direction for me to go or do we just stay put where we are and finish paying off okay so for
two for two years you could stack cash and do not and do nothing towards this and then make the final decision after that, right?
Yes.
And do you have debt?
We just paid off the majority of our consumer debt.
My student loans are gone.
Credit cards are gone.
Car payment is gone.
You told me the $21,000.
Is there any debt left?
My husband has $90,000 in student loans.
You have $90,000 in student loan debt?
Yes. Okay. What does a pediatric chiropractor make every year?
Starting off as an associate, I've interviewed a few of them. We're looking at maybe like 50 to 60 starting out.
Those who own their own practice obviously make more. There's different directions you can go, but that's what I got starting out as an associate.
I am into woo-woo stuff.
I'm kind of out on the fringe of all kind of stuff.
And even I don't know anything about,
I don't even know.
I know a lot of chiropractors.
I don't know anyone who specializes in pediatric chiropractic care.
So it may be a whole world that I don't know about.
I would think that's strange,
but it may be out there.
I would implore you not to sell your home and have to go to a place where you're renting or
whatever and you got $90,000 still in the bank I'm still on on the hook for your husband's school
if you tell me you got everything cleared up y'all are squared up you're you're at zero you
have an emergency fund y'all are paying this house off and then you want to go um go to graduate school then knock
your lights out but that becomes a luxury at that point not some sort of mission that you are
literally selling your home for you get what i'm saying yeah i call me yes i call my husband i
didn't want to sell the house which which is why I stack up cash,
find other ways around maybe get employment through a school
for tuition reimbursement, apply for every scholarship.
Yeah, but you're still not even stacking cash.
You got $90,000 y'all got to pay off.
My husband's not on board with paying that off right now.
I'm on board, but my husband is not.
We've been on board together like this far,
but he's not in a place where he wants to pay it off,
and I don't know how to get him there.
But he's having a serious conversation about selling his house
so his wife can go to chiropractic school.
Yeah, and he's also okay with not doing it.
Yeah, I'm okay with not doing it.
To me, that's just asinine.
Yeah, I wouldn't do it.
It's just ludicrous that he's not on board paying off his student loans.
Instead, he wants to sell his home so his wife can go become a pediatric chiropractor.
No, I would not do that.
No.
No.
Not with five kids at home.
No. Not with five kids 11 and under we're having we're not even having this discussion no um i it feels like i'll just go
ahead and go all the way it feels like in talking to you um you had some interesting and positive experiences with your children being helped,
and that took you down a rabbit hole that you don't even have any business being in.
You know, you got all woo-wooed.
You got all romantic about this idea because something helped one of your children,
and I'm glad your child was helped.
I don't have any problem with that but i don't think that
extrapolates into you guys going off the dadgum cliff for you to become one of these no and it
also sounds like you are starting to slowly create an alt life that does not include being on the
same track as the train your husband is on and And it's a pretty common thing. There starts
to be this divide and we have more kids and the husband starts to go do his own thing. And I'm
going to do this. This is kind of my jam. And suddenly mom's got to begin to develop a world
that she can survive inside of. And if that's the case, I'm just going to, I'm going to, I'm going
to beg you, turn the lights on, Turn the music off. Stop this dance.
Every bit of your life is different.
There's seven of you now.
You have five kids.
You and your husband need to go back to square one,
sweep everything off the table, and rebuild your marriage.
It's brand new.
You've got five kids, 11 to zero.
We're going to build a new marriage now.
Everything's got to be different, from money to how we communicate.
Every facet of it is different now.
And if y'all don't do that, man, you are, man, it just breaks my heart before I can see this thing heading.
This is the Ramsey Show.
Our scripture of the day, James 1.5, if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Tony Robbins said, successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better
answers.
Let me help you with this.
Winning is not an accidental act.
Success is not an accidental act. Success is not an accidental thing.
It is the accumulation of behaviors and habits over time that cause you to excel and win.
You figure out what it takes to win in that particular area.
People aren't accidentally successfully married 50 years.
They're not accidentally raising great kids years they're not accidentally raising great
kids they're not accidentally wealthy a few are but most aren't it's not a known path
if you want to become wealthy you've got to do it on purpose you get out of debt you build an
emergency fund you start investing and you do it with your spouse the best way to do that is with
a budget the best way to do that is with a budget.
The best way to do that is with the world's best budgeting app, EveryDollar,
which is free at the App Store or on Google Play.
So check out EveryDollar.
Download it for free.
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Every dollar.
Margaret's in New York.
Hi, Margaret.
Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Hi, Ramsey.
How are you?
Better than we deserve.
How are you, Margaret?
I'm good.
So my question, I'm in my second year of teaching.
It's my first career job. I make about just under $65,000 a year.
And I currently have just over $15,000 left in student loan debt.
I am living at home with my parents.
They're very generous not charging me rent.
I made some very silly mistakes this summer and was charging my credit card like crazy. And I currently have about $2,600
on my credit card balance. So trying to pay down the credit card and then at the same time trying to eliminate my student loan this year.
I was trying to do some math earlier today, and I find myself in a very seemingly big pickle in my head.
So I was looking for some advice as to what should I do.
So $55,000, what are you bringing home a month?
A month?
Yeah.
Probably like $6,000.
So like the last paycheck I got about $2,200.
And you get those every two weeks?
Every two weeks.
That would be $4,400 a month.
$4,400.
That make sense?
Yes. And you don't have any rent nope you have a car
payment no car payment what what are you spending your 4,400 a month on um so, it was towards the student loan. Um, I did come out.
I mean, really in a month, in a month, where the crap does $4,400 go?
Honestly, I mean, groceries, gas, and then other leisurely expenditures.
Yeah.
Going out at night with your buddies.
I actually don't go out.
Okay.
Where's your groceries and gas?
Don't eat 4 4400 a month
you're not that big
hello um i so yeah um subscriptions i guess like i i know uh the talking
here's the root here's the root of it okay you don't have any rent and so
if you spend 400 a month on groceries and 400 a month on gas i've still got over three thousand
dollars a month to put towards this you're done in five months
wow okay but i gotta know where the rest of this money's going because here's the thing if you
don't tell this money what to do where to go you're going to wonder where the rest of this money is going because here's the thing. If you don't tell this money what to do, where to go, you're going to wonder where it went,
which is where we are right now.
So you need to do exactly what you were doing the other day.
But go ahead and get this every dollar budget downloaded.
I'm going to give you the premium version for free as my gift because I want to inspire
you to make your money behave.
It's misbehaving.
If your classroom operated like your budget, you'd be running chaos over there.
Yes.
Okay.
You've got to make your money behave.
You need a lesson plan for your money.
Every dollar has an assignment before the month begins, and don't do anything else with it.
You accidentally fell backward into
twenty six hundred dollars worth of credit card debt while you still had four thousand dollars
a month you'd already wasted right that we don't know where it went right now you and i
because we know your gas bill's not that high
i mean 400 a month to buy your gas won't it
no it's definitely it's definitely not that much i okay okay so yeah so so margaret by october 15th
you owe no credit card debt period no student loan debt i mean no no i'm talking about the
credit card by october 15th of right now oh yeah you just we're the last week of september so if you're not listening to this live yeah a couple of weeks a
couple of weeks you knock that out and then you're done the rest of it yeah yeah but you're gonna
have to say here's the thing margaret that it's unfortunate for you yet fortunate for you of all
the calls i've taken on this show for the last three or four years one of the ones i remember
i only remember a couple of them was a woman woman from New York in COVID who was locked completely down when the
city was shut down. And she got up, she was a school teacher, and she got up before the sun
came up and started driving Uber and then taught all day and then taught private lessons in the
evening and then delivered at night. And she said, I didn't have anything else to do. So I just figured why not? And she paid off six
figures and she was paying rent. You just don't have any excuses. You have to learn the word.
No. Well, you got to tell these money this morning. And that's after the budget. You can
say, no, I want you to feel, um, I want the, the, your paycheck to be shaming you.
If you haven't made it behave
in a positive way of course positive shame but i accept that i'm positive i want it shaming you
yeah yeah forty four hundred dollars you need to look at yourself in the mirror every month and go
where the crap did that go and can i can i can i live off 400 bucks and spend four thousand and
put four 000 towards
debt be done be done you'll be done in i mean three months four months you're done be done
i mean you have this benefit of living home so somewhere you have a leak we need to find the
leak you need a leak detection and that every dollar budget will help you do that and by the
way margaret all that is all you're experiencing there is 100% normal.
The only problem is that normal sucks.
And so this is you saying, I have to get on top of this
or I'm going to still be here five years from now.
I have to get on top of this so that I get to become the next best version of me,
a grown-up Margaret that's on my own.
Otherwise, you're going to be 35 and living in your mommy's basement still
with this exact same debt sitting here because this money is just evaporating before your eyes.
And you can do this.
You're not dumb.
You're smart.
You're not a person lacking in gray matter.
You've got the ability to do this.
It's a matter of proactivity. Dr. Stephen Covey in his book, the seven habits of highly effective people, the number one habit of people who are highly effective,
highly successful is they're proactive. They're not reactive. They happen to things. They tell
their money what to do before the month begins, not get to the end of the month and wonder where
it went. They don't have too much month left at the end of the money.
They're making it freaking behave.
Those dollars are screaming, ah, because they're getting pinched the whole time.
You can do this, Margaret.
I trust you.
Hang on.
Team's going to pick up.
We're going to get you signed up for the premium version.
It's our gift.
If you need some help, you call us back anytime.
We're here to support you, coach you.
We'll encourage you, and we'll even yell at you for your own good because we love you.
That puts us out of the Ramsey Show and the books.
We'll be back with you before you know it.
In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace,
and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. We'll see you next time.