The Ramsey Show - App - You Need a "Why" That's Bigger Than Your "Right Now" (Hour 2)

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

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Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today here on the air. We are answering your questions about life and about money. It's a free call at 888-825-5225.

That's 888-825-5225. Tal is with us in Washington, D.C. Hey, Tal, what's up? Hi, I have a question. So I'm a baby step five and six so i'm a single parent and i wanted to see what your thoughts were what percentage should i put to step five and my other thought was if i have paid my house down by then what are your thoughts on getting a home equity to pay for college if i don't have enough by then okay no on b

we're not going out of debt just to return, the purpose is to get out and never go back. Okay. Now, once we got that out of the way. So how old are you? I'm sorry, you broke up a little bit. I said, how old are you? Oh, I'll be 40 next week. How old's your baby? He's nine. Okay, good. And what do you make a year? 120. Good for you. You are doing so good. Congratulations, Tal. Well done. Thank you.

Okay. Well, there's a couple of ways to approach it. The only way I would put baby step six, paying off your house and doing almost nothing for college in the way is if that made you be able to cash flow college. Sometimes people will knock their house out, and then they go, I'm going to cash flow college instead of saving for college and paying off the house a little bit slower. The other end of the spectrum is sometimes people say, I'm just going to pay the minimum on the house until I really pile up enough and I can check the box. There's so much money.

I've got a 13 year old four years from now that has 150,000 bucks in his account. I'm done. Now I'm going to move on and pay off the house. That's the safest, easiest way because you know college is done. You don't think about it again and then you can move on and pay off the house. But sometimes people do go the other way and they say, I'm going to pay 5050 a month into the college fund. You've got to do something in Baby Step 5. You have to touch the stone, okay? But past that, if you want to pay $50 a month

and then just knock the house out. But the only way is if you think the math is going to allow you to cash flow college. And that, of course, has everything to do with your income and college choice where you choose to send the nine-year-old but either way is okay because baby steps four for those of you listening baby step four is after you're out of debt you have your emergency phone in place you're putting 15 of your income into retirement five is kids college six is pay off the house early we do those three simultaneously the first three are not simultaneous you do one at a time in order on the first three but the last three are simultaneous

and the 15 you really do put you continually are doing that that's what i mean by simultaneous but you don't slow that one down i'm going to put two percent into my retirement and load up college no 15 into retirement then we're going to do something for college and something on the house and the average person is paying off their home in seven years doing that which oddly enough is about where she is she would have the house paid for she said by the time he got to college so i that that one speaks to me i've just worked with so many college kids that they don't know where they're going to end up or what they're going to do i want to go to this school this school and then the last second they meet some girl at summer camp and they end up going to this whatever the thing may be um i like the idea of not having a house

payment and going the other way yeah i like that but again i'm not there yet and then cash flow in college cash flow in college the way we ended up it, and it was just the way our life worked out. It really wasn't the, quote, game plan at the beginning. We said we're going to start saving for college, and we did start saving for college. In those days, it weren't 529s. You just do it in the kid's name. It was a custodial account. We had a mutual fund in the kid's name.

That simple. And we had that going along. Well, by the time they got to school, we were at the other end of this journey from having gone broke to becoming wealthy. So we cash flowed college and didn't even touch their college. And then when they graduated, we handed them that mutual fund full of money. Yeah, I had a couple of buddies that had that. And that was a really nice way to kick off each of the Ramsey kids' adulthood, you know, and made their transition out the door that much easier and so forth.

But we could have used the money, but really they went to University of Tennessee. It wasn't super expensive, and we were making plenty of money, so we just wrote a check, covered the dorm, covered the apartment, whatever it was, and covered the tuition and stuff, and they had a little budget they were on and that kind of stuff. If you do have it not in a mutual fund and it's in a 529, what is the exit strategy if you get in that situation? You need to use it. You got to spend it.

You need to use it because it has to be... That's just a shell game at that point, right? It has to be used for... If it's in a 529, you don't get the tax break if you pull it out and use it for something other than higher ed or other than education. Education. education education you can use it for any family member you could use it to send mom to get her phd right you know but uh but but you know it doesn't have to be for the person on the 529 you can transfer it now but uh but it's just the same you need to plan to use it and even if they get scholarships you can withdraw the amount of the scholarship out of the 529.

So they get a $13,000 scholarship. I'd take $13,000 out of the 529, no taxes. Wow, that's a good setup. Yeah. So that's a way to get if they, you know, I don't want to do 529 because they might get scholarships. Well, don't worry about it. You take the value of the scholarship out. If it's an athletic scholarship, you just take the value of the scholarship.

And the university will give you the documentation to do that with, and you're set up for that. Autumn is with us in Columbus, Ohio. Hey, Autumn, how are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?

Okay, so my husband and I both have pension plans through our employer. I have to contribute 10% and he has to contribute 12 and we cannot adjust that. So I was wondering since that is 22% towards retirement, if we should and not adjustable, I was wondering if we should do more towards retirement or what? Your math is wrong to start with. It's not 22% of your household income. It's 10% and 12%, right? Right. So when you take the total amount out of your checks as a percentage of your household income, it's going to be depending on who's what, but it's going to be somewhere around 10% of your household income.

You see what I'm doing? Okay. Yeah, you don't add the two figures together. That's not how the math works. But anyway, your question is still valid. The question is, since I've got this mandatory freaking pension, does that change my baby step four? Is that your question? Yeah.

I just want to know if that's enough. No, it's not enough because you're not in control of the pension. Right. You have no say at all over what happens with this pension. I'm not predicting that it crashes. Some of them do. But I wouldn't want my whole thing bet on the competency of a pension fund manager. And so I don't know that you need to save 15% of your household income in addition to this,

but you need to save a good chunk, maybe 10% in addition to this, because you have absolutely no control over this. It may underperform. It may fail. They may change the terms of it based on who's putting in about the time you're going out and they get into all kinds of actuarial crossroads there and they change stuff up to protect themselves not you and so and i mean i'm sorry you have to do it it's mandatory but i'd put in an additional 10 percent into 401ks or roths. This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

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They've been helping my listeners find the right plans at the lowest cost for almost 20 years. Call 800-356-1780 or visit zander.com and compare online. That's 800-356-1780 or zander.com. So since 1994, we've been teaching Financial Peace University. Over 50,000 churches have held a class, and many, many other locations have held a class and many many other locations have held a class the class consisted in the old days of a vca a vcr playing a vhs tape get all those v's out of me teaching running around the stage flapping my arms and uh then the coordinator would put chairs in a circle discuss that lesson hold people accountable and encourage. That model never really changed other than we went to DVDs and then later to streaming, of course. Ramsey Plus now encompasses

Financial Peace University, and as of March, we have a lot of virtual classes now happening, like almost all of them are virtual classes now happening, where the discussion about the lesson from Financial Peace University within Ramsey Plus is there. So over the years, we've had 12, on average, about 10,000 to 12,000 coordinators at any given minute, and somewhere around 30,000 people have at one time or another since 1994 coordinated a class. These coordinators are heroes. They're on the front row.

They sit on the front row and have a front row seat to watch people's lives be changed and also to participate in that by encouraging people when they're at their, in many cases, at their worst. And it's pretty incredible. So this week we're honoring coordinators. We wanted to talk to a few of them here or there and just say, hey, thank you, and learn about them. Steve Adkins is in Pittsburgh, and Steve has been a Financial Peace University coordinator for how long, Steve? I first coordinated around 2009, and we are, I guess, going on about, I think I've just added up about 71 classes.

Wow. Myself and some other volunteers. You've taught more than I have. I was 11 in 2009, man. Well, you couldn't have gotten in Steve's class, so there you go. Might still be the case. But anyway. Go with your parents.

You could have come with your parents. That's right. There you go. That's it. So how many people? Have you ever counted up how many in that many classes? We're probably, you know, we have classes that vary from a handful up to 20 or 30, so probably around 700.

Yeah. That's pretty incredible. So thousands of people, when you consider those families that have been through there, thousands of people have been impacted by you. Man, that's incredible. Thank you. Thank you so much. Why did you originally start?

What got you to do this the very first time? Well, it's really two things. One is our story and the stupid things that I did with money, and then the second part was just realizing that God's people, we serve the creator of the universe. And when you look at the statistics, our finances and the people at church are about the same as everyone else's. And that just doesn't seem right. So I have a heart to help change that. That's very cool.

Very cool. Well, good for you, man. That's incredible. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So any particular stories of people that have come to the class that stick out to you that you remember? You go, man, I remember the time. There's all kinds of stories. The one thing that I was thinking about this, you know, we had six classes going in March when the shutdowns happened.

And so we converted all those majority, one of them finished up and majority over to virtual. And then we did a, my wife and I led a class virtually and the group that we had, we had people in seven States and I looked around and we had a financial crisis going, a health crisis going. And then I looked around and we had people from every part of the country and different races, and we had the racial crisis that was going on. And when I looked around, we just had to absorb that and just realize we still got a plan here that works. And if we can stick to it with all these things going around that are very important, so we just acknowledged that, but we still had to stick to it. And that class, we gelled probably better than any class I've ever coordinated.

Wow. And it was just awesome. We had one lady who, you know, had no control, and her daughter was in the class with her, and she sold her house during the class. We had people selling cars during the class. It was just that class was just something something special just because it was all the things that was going on around us yeah they were surviving all the adversity yeah the adversity pushed we had we had a guy we had a guy going down in new york city working security and you know we

had other people that were involved that and it was just wow this is real life. Yeah, it all happened right there in the discussion at the virtual class. That's pretty cool. Very cool. So the virtual classes are the thing this fall, obviously. They were in the spring as well, as you said, starting in March. And you're obviously leading virtual classes. Why should someone lead, that's never done it before, a financial peace class? I can say I led my first class and I've never taken an FPU, and so I know it's possible.

And so just the life change that happens in that class, you get to witness it. I don't know any other class, any other ministry where you see life change happen. And the first and the second and the third week, people start seeing hope. And so more we inject hope into those people. And so by leading the class, you can inject hope into a few or a lot, according to your class size. Hey, Steve, I've got a question for you. This is John. Last night I was on the phone with a friend named Lynn Jennings, and she is a researcher who studies secondary traumatic stress.

And what that is is the pain, the actual psychological pain, the physical pain that comes along with people who serve alongside folks in their worst moments. And it's nurses and it's police officers and it's military folks and it's counselors. What tip would you give somebody for someone in your position who's 71 classes? You have heard so many stories, so many hurting people, so many frustrated marriages. How do you keep yourself whole? How do you keep your marriage plugging along there when you deal so much and other people's hurt? Well, one thing that we've, my wife and I have known, we have our own issues and we plug into, I think we, our daughter has, uh, uh,

anxiety disorder called selective mutism. And we go to a therapist for that. We have a therapist that we go to as a couple. Uh, we have, uh, therapists that I, you therapists that I work with or a coach, and it's to get help and build people around you, and also stay close to God is the number one thing, and just realize that you can only do what you can do, and you don't have to solve all these problems. You just have to listen and be available. Yeah, that's a good word right there sharon used to tell me john when i would come home she she would say um okay jesus you can get off now it's his job wow you don't have to be the messiah he's that job's taken yeah you don't have to fix everything it's not your job you can't carry it all you got to set it down in other words words. You've got to put it down. That was good. What a bold, vulnerable leader, Steve.

That's incredible. Good for you, man. Well done, Steve. Thank you, man. Absolutely incredible. Well, that's the kind of people that coordinate classes, people that care deeply. And if you're one of those, we need your help. There's 16 million people out of work right now, and they're not sure how they're going to make ends meet.

And as a community, as a nation, we can give people hope. We can show them what to do exactly in Ramsey Plus, in Financial Peace University, a virtual class. If you will lead a virtual class in the month of September, we will give you Ramsey Plus membership for a year for free. That's what's known as a deal. And we will show you exactly how to do it and what to do. You don't have to have a master's degree in finance. I don't, and I'm teaching it. So it's okay. We can

get through this together. So seriously, if you want to lead a virtual financial peace class, or you would even consider it, and you just want to talk to our team about it, we need some help. We got a line of people wanting to do this stuff right now they are they're sick and tired of being sick and tired man and folks need hope text the word unity to 33 789 text unity to 33 7. All one word, Unity. 33-789. And we'll talk to you about being a coordinator as one of our virtual Financial Peace University classes that are all kicking off in the next week or two here. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Yeah. Aaron is in Houston, Texas.

Dr. John Deloney is my co-host here on the air today. Aaron, you got a hurricane and you're debt-free, huh? Did I not push the button? I'll try it again. Erin, there you are. Hey, you got a hurricane and you're debt free? Yeah, yeah, good and bad things going on over here, but we're excited. I bet. Are you boarded up? Well, no, no, we're prepared. We don't have to, we don't live too we're kind of a little right outside of the area where it's hitting the worst um but we definitely have all of our supplies and we're we're going to be in the house the next few days gotcha so you're here you're hearing all the weather though obviously oh yeah for sure we just heard the first little

rumblings of thunder maybe about 10 minutes ago so So it's coming. Wow. So how much debt have you paid off? I paid off $55,781. Cool. How long did that take you? 11 months and 11 months, three weeks to be exact. Wow. And your range of income during that year? $127,000 to $132,000, I believe.

Cool. What do you do for a living? I'm a nurse practitioner full time and then part time, um, clinical profession or clinical faculty with one of the local nursing schools. So what was the $56,000 in debt? It was 32 ish, uh, 32,000 of student loans, $21,000 on my car, $1,100 or so of credit card, and then just a couple hundred to pay off my cell phone. Okay, so you make $130,000 basically. You pay off $56,000 in one year. Yeah. That means you had nothing to eat beans and rice yeah we we really yeah once i got gazelle and tins everything came to a halt christmas was like

$20 gifts for everybody we didn't go out to eat we didn't do any shopping it was really like we got to get it done wow you leaned into it. So you cash flowed every bit of this. You didn't have any extra big, you didn't have $20,000 in savings or something like that. I wish I would have, but no, I didn't. I just buckled down and cash flowed it all. What caused you to get this intense 11 months ago? So I had kind of always heard about you. My mom is a huge fan, and she would sprinkle your name here and there.

Never really took to it. I had some colleagues that mentioned going through your program. I honestly thought it was for married people because everybody that I always talked to about you was married. But at the beginning of last year, as I do every year, I sit down and write a plan for my life for that year, what I want to do, where I want to go. And Disney was on our goal for 2019. And I sat down to plan Disney, and I just began to think and dream of all the places I want to take my daughter, all the places we want to go, and along with some other things with service projects

and things like that that I wanted to do. And I just felt that I wasn't going to be able to do them because I didn't have enough money. And the big thing that really hit was in March of 2019, my grandmother, who is near and dear to my heart, was hospitalized. And towards the end of her hospitalization, we were realizing that her care was going to change. She was in assistant living, but was going to need some closer monitoring. And so I brought to my aunt and my mom, the idea of having a nurse come in. And when we found out that the cost of adding a nurse to her package, I guess it was going to be about $520, $530 extra per month. Nana didn't have it. Nobody else had it. And when I got off the phone

with my aunt, I realized at that moment, my car note was $528. And that's kind of what for me, like I can pay $500 for my car, but I couldn't pay it for the care of my grandmother. And in that moment that I just had a burden, I could feel the burden of my grandmother and in that moment that i just had a burden i could feel the burden of my bills preventing me from doing the things that i desired and helping my family and so that's kind of what got me trying to find answers of how to get out of debt when you start from that place there's no stopping you not that is a good place to start that's for real aaron that was a mic drop moment so okay so the realization occurred i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired then what'd you do um i googled and found that crazy

guy dave ramsey well kind of but not really so i first logged on to all of my accounts and i got all my totals and i realized oh my god it's 50 something thousand dollars what do i do i was like a deer in the headlights. And so I was like, should I sell my car? Should I get another job? I was like Googling those things. And just as God would have it, in that whole process, in about a three-week span, I started getting notifications on my phone about Dave Ramsey podcast. And to be honest, I hadn't listened to podcasts.

I knew who you were, but not really. The first few weeks, I just swiped left and I just ignored. And then on the third week, I'll never forget, it was a Tuesday. I came home from work, was sitting on my bed, again, thinking and contemplating, and a notification of a new Dave Ramsey episode came on my phone. And as soon as I went to swipe left, the Holy Spirit said, listen. And I listened. And of course, you were talking about getting out of debt. And I listened that night, the next night, the next after that, and haven't stopped listening since. I love it.

Well, I'm honored. That's so cool. Yeah, I know. I'm honored to be able to have found you and your program and all of you guys. It's been a true blessing. You are a hero. I mean, you are the, uh, I sit down and plan my life out before them every year. And that way, I mean, that's amazing. And, you know, and I look over in my car payment is exactly what I need to spend on my grandmother.

And that's not okay. And I mean, you really are coming at things from a very high plane. You're a hero. So tell people, what's the secret to paying off $56,000 in one year? For me, it was having a why. I had to have a why that was bigger than my right now. So I get easily distracted of things that come in front of me like today and right now, but I had to think past the right now and look to like some of my, you know, the things that I had on my yearly plan, my three-year plan. And so I'd say having a why that's bigger than your right now, and then definitely sticking to the budget. It helps you stay on track. Like you say,

it gives every dollar a name, so it takes the guesswork out of it. And for me, one of the things that I struggled with was when I was making the budget, but I wasn't sticking to it until I had this kind of other realization, like I have to treat the budget like it's law and not a suggestion. And once I started doing that, it was like, no, this, it's $150 in groceries. That's it. It's not like I suggest you spend $150 because then I'd end up spending $250. So, um, once I really stuck to the budget, it became like my own, or my own accountability partner. Almost. These are the 10 commandments, not the 10 suggestions. Exactly. I get you so i i'm hearing a theme here john deloney um there is a i would call it an emotional maturity a i understand i'm responsible for my life theme

that runs all through her conversation have you heard it all i mean i control i control my destiny no one else does who taught you that your mom your dad your grandmother where did you get that from because you know i'm gonna do a plan for my life it's not okay that i can't take care of my granny i'm gonna fix this and the budget i i had this realization every time you took responsibility for you i there's not a single iota of victim anything in any of your language where did you learn that i i honestly would have to attribute it to my my my upbringing with my my mom and my grandmother and my aunt um i can't i can't pinpoint one particular um thing or time but i would say it's a culmination of this how i was raised and um just certain values that were i can tell somebody told you that's up to you yeah

i know this if if my kid gets sick i want aaron amen aaron as my nurse working on my kid you're right all right we're going to send you a copy of chris hogan's book everyday millionaires because no doubt that is the next chapter in your story aaron is in Houston, Texas. $56,000 paid off in 11 months, making $127,000 to $132,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. One, two, three. Thanks, all. I'm debt-free.

Yeah! I've got my hache up for Houston. Way to go, Aaron. Way to go, Aaron. So cool. Hey, teach your kids they're responsible. And it changes your family tree, man. Teach your kids they're responsible for their lives.

Wow, she's powerful. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today here on the Dave Ramsey Show. Folks, if you don't know, is my co-host today here on the Dave Ramsey Show. Folks, if you don't know, the main difference between houses that sit on the market and houses that actually sell are real estate agents who know what the flip they're doing. Not everybody who has a real estate license knows anything, I can just tell you. Some of them sell one house a year, some of them sell 100 houses a year. Now, who do you want selling your house? Well, they sound awful busy to me. It's because they know what the flip they're doing starts with you knowing the

value of a good real estate agent it's worth it to find an experienced agent who not only cares about getting you a hundred percent of what your home is worth they've actually done it before like last week okay and that's why we endorse top agents all across the u.s our endorsed local providers for real estate it's easy to find a quality professional that'll help you win do not settle for a subpar real estate agent on your most expensive asset your house buying it or selling it go to dav DaveRamsey.com slash agent. Find the agent that we recommend in your area. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Again, Dr. John Deloney is my co-host. We're answering questions about your life and your money. Steve is in Indianapolis. Hi, Steve. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave and John. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up?

I had a quick question for you guys. It's something I've been debating over for the last couple months, and I followed you guys' plan for the last 10 years or so, so I'm in a pretty good position. I just wanted to give you a couple pieces of info that I think will help. I'm trying to understand what to do with a large amount in my savings account. And I'm 31. I have three kids and a wife. Annual income is $250,000. And I run about an $8,000 surplus every month. And I have $225,000 just sitting in cash. So I'm kind of debating whether to chunk it all down on my house or, you know,

maybe make some additional investments such as a rental property. Okay. How much do you owe on your home? $275,000. Let's buy your house off. Mm-hmm. And right now I have $225,000 in cash. So, yeah so yeah i'd still have that's not counting in the emergency phone so okay so you'd have 50 left to go and you make and you're making eight thousand dollars a

month at surplus and so in six months the house will be paid for and then we have the question what do we do next but until then that's the answer. Let me just tell you this, okay? You make incredible money, so you're obviously a very smart guy. Stupid people don't make a quarter million dollars a year, okay? It just doesn't work that way. But what you cannot calculate, even as smart as you are, is how it's going to feel the day you have zero payments. Something switches deep down in your soul, a switch flips, and you really realize that

the Bible wasn't kidding when it said the borrower is slave to the lender. When you don't have any payments in the world, it changes you. And that's the first goal. That's the first goal here. Then you've got more than $8,000 because your house payment is $2,000, isn't it? $2,500? Yep, roughly. Yeah.

You don't have a house payment anymore, so now we've got $10,000 a month surplus. When the house is paid for, right? Right. Now we save up and pay cash for whatever you want to buy. I don't care. Buy some rental properties, do some investing in mutual funds, be outrageously generous, and you probably ought to do all three. Yep, yep, that's the goal. You probably ought to buy your wife a better car.

She mentions that weekly. Maybe I'll do that before you do anything else we're talking about then. Okay. What's she driving? Wait a minute. Did I read your mail? What's she driving? Wait a minute. Did I read your mail? What's she driving, Tywad? The 2010 GMC Acadia.

I mean, it's nice, but... Yeah. Steve, listen, you are rarely in your life going to find someone as stingy about cars than John Deloney, and I'm even shaking my head at you, brother. Come on, man. Okay, go buy your wife a car, and then let's get your house paid off and then let's build some investments okay uh you guys are you are doing an incredible job steve you're not going to make mistakes of overspending that is not going to happen to you

it's just it just in your wiring. I mean, people don't call me up that have problems with overspending that have $200,000 in savings and make $250,000 a year and tell me what their surplus is on their monthly budget. Spenders don't tell me these kinds of things. So you're not going to make mistakes overspending. You're okay. There's a portion of your money you're supposed to enjoy.

There's a portion you're supposed to invest and save, which is your nature. And there's this portion you're supposed to be outrageously generous with. So you need to have a portion of your budget that is for enjoyment for your family and you. You get great joy out of just saving. But your wife would enjoy a thingy or two and you have earned it sir she has earned it she married you so you're an incredible dude man i'm so proud of you very well done it's easy to poke fun but you've done an incredible incredible job eddie is with us eddie's in san antonio hi eddie what's your question? Mr. Ramsey, Dr. Deloney, thank you very much for

taking my phone call. Got a 22, an 18, and a 16. They're 22s in college right now. She's got a pretty good head on her shoulder. I'd let her walk out the door with a 10,000 in her pocket and great VA and Texas Veterans benefits that she really doesn't have to worry about much. I hate to say it, I think I fell short teaching my sons financial planning and budgeting. I taught them everything else, but I didn't get to. I don't think I did any better than with my daughter. The 18-year-olds in the senior year of high school, 16- high school 16 year old a junior they're going to walk out of the house with about 10 000 themselves too and also the same va benefits and the hazel wood act over here in texas i'm just what else do i need to teach them or to show them what they need

to do so they don't have this phone call with you yeah 10 20 years in life i'll jump in and then john spent a bunch of years in higher ed i want him to chime in on this but i'll jump in they're not leaving the house with ten thousand dollars to start with they're going to leave the house with a budget monthly that they're going to live on and that they have helped develop so they believe it and then i'm going to fund that budget out of that 10 000 you don't hit the lottery because you graduate from high school and get a 10 000 check and pray god you know you don't have to get a car car keys and didn't know how to drive you show them how to drive first i i even even with my daughter it's monitored i get to see what you spend.

Yeah, but that's too late. It's too late. You don't give her the $10,000. You give her money out of the $10,000 monthly to fund the budget that the two of you together worked up, and you're doing it together. This is what happened with the Ramsey kids. All right, so what should he do, John? Hey, Eddie, I want to challenge your language, okay?

You just say you failed them with a period at the end of that sentence, and I'm going to disagree with you. There is no greater gift. There's other gifts. A great gift a dad can give his sons is to take him out to breakfast and say, I left out a critical thing, a critical piece of information, and I'm going to look at you, 18-year-old son. You're a man now.

I'm going to look you in the eyes and tell you I'm sorry. I'm going to put us through Financial Peace University. We're going to go through it together. We're going to do this plan together. I'm not too much of a macho Texan to say, I wish I'd done this differently when you were younger. I didn't, so here we go. And so failed has appeared at the end of it. I don't like that, man. You're going to show your kids some vulnerability and you can tell them you love them. And then, like Dave said, you're going to not just hand them the keys to the car and say, man the end of it. I don't like that, man. You're going to show your kids some vulnerability, and you're going to tell them you love them. And then, like Dave said, you're going to not just hand them the keys to the car and say, man, you're 18 now. I hope you make good decisions because we've got enough brain science

and we have enough newspaper headlines to show us that 18-year-olds don't make great decisions because they're 18 and 16-year-olds are 16-year-olds, man. So the greatest gift you can give your kids is this continual i'm learning i'm a dad i'm still on a journey i'm still figuring it out and i'm going to stop you every time i see you and i'm going to let you know what i'm learning i'm going to be vulnerable with you and i'm going to make you do it the bad news is i didn't teach you the good news is we're we're on it now baby the other bad news is we're about to learn it together we're on it and we're going to do it that's right the bad news is you got to do learn it together. We're on it together. And we're going to do it. That's right.

The bad news is you've got to do it anyway. And the kids are going to learn by watching you. Yeah. They're going to grow from watching you. Exactly. Good for you, Eddie. Yeah. Hold on.

I'm going to have Kelly send you a copy of the book Smart Money, Smart Kids that Rachel and I did together. There's some good instruction in that along these same exact lines. But, yeah, well, just put them through Financial Peace University. Put them in Ramsey Plus, too. That way they can do what what john suggested he and the son can go through it together that's a good idea that puts us out of the day bramsey's showing the books Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but if you heard about an event, product, or service and didn't have a chance to write it down, don't worry. We list everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast show notes

or head to DaveRamsey.com. Thanks for listening.