The Ramsey Show - App - You Share a Bed but You Can’t Share a Bank Account? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: July 7, 2023

Jade Warshaw & Rachel Cruze answer your questions and discuss:  "How much should we put into our sinking funds?" from the blog: What Is a Sinking Fund and How Do You Create One? Why you can't compartmentalize money in your life or your marriage, Should I rent or buy after moving? "Will student loan repayment options hinder our Baby Step 2?" "Should we sell our house to pay off debt?" Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Here's an EveryDollar deal just for our listeners: get a 14-day free trial PLUS $15 off your first year of premium. Click the link below and start budgeting today! www.everydollar.com/jade Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Interested in advertising on The Ramsey Show? https://ter.li/s64ye3 Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where we hang out to have a conversation about your life, about your money. I'm your host today. I'm Jade Warshaw, and I'm joined by Rachel Cruz. Thank you so much for being here. Guys, give us a call today. The number is 888-825-5225. We'll talk about whatever you want to talk about. We'll talk about what's going on in your money, your budget. Maybe you're looking for a new career. Maybe you're wondering if you can be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe you're wondering about this whole student loan debacle, whatever it is, give us a call. We would love to hear from you. So let's go to Tanner in Bentonville, Arkansas. What's going

on, Tanner? Hey, how are you doing? Doing good. How are you? Doing well. Yeah. So I'm just calling about trying to figure out how to, my wife and I should allocate our budget. Currently, we're investing about $1,000 a month into sinking funds. We bring home around $8,000 a month net. And just trying to figure out how we, if we want to pay off our house quickly, how we should go about doing that. And if we're allocating too much money into our sinking funds. What are the sinking funds for, Tanner? So mostly like travel, Christmas presents, kids expenses, some medical emergency and like annual membership renewals. Okay. And how much

are you guys putting towards the house right now? We're just paying just the mortgage payment. So it's around $2,300 a month. Okay. So nothing on top of that. Nothing on top of just the mortgage. Okay. And you have no other debt, correct? This is...

Yes, correct. Okay. And putting 15% to retirement. Right now we're around 12%, but we're going to bump that up here soon. Okay. So I would definitely bump that up to 15% before I started making additional mortgage payments.

Yeah. So, I mean, we always say that you're intense through baby steps one through three and then more intentional baby steps four through seven. So even having sinking funds and all of that, Tanner, I mean, that's part of the enjoyment of your life once you've paid off debt and you have your emergency fund. I just want to make sure that something extra is going to the mortgage because I think that will kind of settle you just knowing, hey, we are putting something towards this. So we're

not going to have it for 15 years, right? You don't want to stay in that habit for too long. Now, if it's just for a season and you guys are like yeah yeah for the next six months this is how we're going to be but i get a raise in six months we're going to allocate that like right if there's something that's going to be changing then i'm comfortable with you guys as you are for just a few months or so for a season um but i wouldn't make this a habit for years and years and years and years because we want that house paid off too. Yeah, exactly. Makes sense. Yeah. What she's saying is you want to enjoy the money, but at the same time, if you're not making a concerted effort or an intentional effort to put money,

extra money on the house, however much that is, like for some people, it's making a double payment. For some people, it's just a small percentage more depending on what your finances are. But I love that you're even thinking about this. Have you got money you got money do you guys have kids you have money set away for college as well uh yeah we have two 529s open currently we just opened those so we've we started investing that as well very cool so i mean you guys are doing everything right i think it's just figuring out um i'm the type of person yeah i'm the type of person i like things to feel automated like it's this much every month yes and it's clockwork i was gonna say even tanner and again you don't have to do this today because none of this is is urgent you know here in the next day we get

some callers that were like no you need to sell the car today like i feel like things have to be today but what i would say is maybe you guys try maybe in like i don't know two months i'm just throwing something out there to be like hey what if we put an extra just like 200, 200, 300, and that sinking fund goes down a little bit, and then we kind of have to reallocate, live on that for a little bit and see how that feels. And again, if it's crazy stressful, and you're like, shoot, we have a beach trip, we really need, you know, you can kind of fluctuate it, but just start to try these things. Because so much of this money management, I have found, Jade, is it's habits. And like you said, when things are automated and they just become a part of your life,

you almost learn to live with it. So if you guys took that sinking fund to 800, put 200 extra a month towards the mortgage, go to ramseysolutions.com and do the mortgage calculator too. And even that math could be motivating. We're like, oh, wow, maybe we can actually decrease it to 700 and throw 300 at it because we'll get it out. You know, we'll pay it off this much more. And that's to say, Tanner, this is a seven year goal. Most people pay off their home in seven years. So in seven years from now, you're going to be making more money. Who knows what life things are going to happen. So I do see progress happening, but I want you guys to try to live a certain way for a bit just to

see like, yeah, maybe a little uncomfortable, but also, gosh, we're at least making progress towards the house. That's right. How does that hit you, Tanner? Like, and by the way, I didn't even ask you, how much do you have left to go on the house? We just bought it about a year ago. So we're at around 320-ish right now. And what's your income?

Like, what's your full? Household income is around 140. Cool. Yeah. This is exciting. I love these conversations when there's this freedom surrounding it. You're not like Rachel said, you're not pressed to do anything right away. I think this is really, really exciting. And again, it's just, you know, what you said, Rachel, is so true. Just like when you start budgeting for the first time, right? You get a hold of this of this and you're like okay you don't want to make like these drastic cuts right right away because you're never going to see it's like you do a little by little and you're like okay i'll pull back on the groceries here i'll pull back on eating out here how does that feel okay great we

can pull back a little bit more here and it's the same thing when it comes to um tackling something like paying off the house like you might say oh, oh, we're gonna put $1,000 every month, but let's cool out for a second. Let's try with a little bit first. See if you can actually maintain that. And then if it feels right, keep going and be very intentional about that. And that's one of the things I love about EveryDollar

is you can do that easily. You can set up, I don't think a lot of people understand this. So when we talk about EveryDollar, it's our budgeting software here at Ramsey Solutions. And it's been around for a while. I've had it since it very first came out. And when it first came out, you couldn't do all the stuff that you can do with it today. Like now you can do the sinking funds in there. You can do the irregular income in there. You can use it to even see like what's your financial roadmap going to be over

the course of time. So when we talk about these things, it's very exciting because you can see, oh, if I make these payments, this is how long it's going to take me to get out of debt or this is how long it's going to take me to save my emergency fund or even this is how long it's going to take me to, you know, build up the retirement I want. So I love that he's. Yeah. And it's amazing how, you know, we said it earlier, but how habitual things are like you just you were creatures of habit. I and it's it's amazing how you know we said it earlier but how habitual things are like you just you be we're creatures of habit I think it's just like the that that is a known thing and so all of you even that are out there listening that are trying to maybe pay off debt

or get your emergency fund and there's still some sacrifices maybe you're having to make or want to make or even someone like Tanner that's like yeah I'm here on baby step six but maybe some small tweaks here or there you know I think it's a great exercise to even look at your budget. And you mentioned every dollar because Winston and I use it. And even that, Jade, I'm like, we have our set categories that pretty much go month to month. We add probably for a month depending on the month and, you know, whether it's a trip or there's kids sports fees or whatever. Right. So some things are added. But overall, it's like we have our same we have our same transactions basically our same bills like everything is so similar that i we pressure you know we kind of put pressure on ourselves like golly we're so habitual in this

what if we took down some categories right can we actually live without it and the closest one right now is cable oh once it wants to cut it so bad I still have Comcast y'all and he's like let's just live without it for three months and see what happens and I'm like I have questions though why because the real house what bravo I don't know I just I just like my stuff I like my stuff so no I'm saying I agree with you I would have a hard time cutting it I'm like dang I I live like no one else I get to live like no one else I'm keeping keeping the cable. This is The Ramsey Show. What's up, guys? You're listening to The Ramsey Show. I'm your host today, Jade Warshaw, joined by author and fellow co-host and host of The Rachel Cruze Show, Rachel Cruze. Give us a call today if you want to. We can chat it up. Give us a call. 888-825-5225.

And the question of the day today is brought to you by Neighborly. Your hub for home services, home improvement is not always about repairs or remodels. Sometimes it's about comfort. Mosquito Joe service can handle your outdoor pest control and make it fun and comfortable to go outside all season long. I think that I need that because the mosquitoes are tearing me up on my porch. Visit neighborly.com to find a service near you. All right. So today's question actually comes from our Baby Steps community Facebook group.

Interesting. Yes. My husband is an engineer and pays all the main house bills, including the mortgage, electricity, and water. He has a retirement account and a nice emergency fund for our family. He has no debt. He pays most of the groceries and gas. We have two kids, so I work part-time at a vet clinic and have two other side hustles. I do pet sitting and have a small business where I sell soap, art, and teach classes. My small business doesn't profit towards our family yet since most of my income goes back into the business.

I imagine I will have profit next year. I pay my own bills and I feel like I just can't get ahead because a lot of the large expenses are court-related from a previous relationship. Okay, so do you have any advice how to manage this? I'm currently not saving any money and I work my buns off to pay these bills for them to just kind of maintain where they are. And I can't get ahead.

Wow. Okay. Well, this is, yeah, there's multiple layers. We could go here, Jade. Yes. So my highest layer, what I would say is, it's a mantra we talk a lot about on this show. And that is that you guys need to work together.

I mean, you are acting financially here like roommates, that he pays these bills, I pay those. That's what I literally did in college when I lived in an apartment. We split it like four things. Someone was in charge of the paper towels. Someone was in charge of like, everyone had their own divvied up thing. And that's how you live.

This is not how you live with your spouse, with someone that you are married to, that you're sharing a life with. And that's for multiple reasons. So we can cut me off, Jade, because this is like my soapbox. No, girl, you go, girl. But I'm like, it is a financial mistake.

Number one, we can go there. I agree. You just can't get ahead financially as this woman is experiencing. So you just can't get ahead financially as this woman is experiencing. So it is harder to get ahead financially when you are not putting all of your money into one pile and saying, hey, where are we going to divvy this up? And you're working as a team. So the financial setback is very real.

And then there's the emotional setback that I think is very true. Now, I always caveat this. If you are in a relationship that maybe you're separated, it is a heading, you know, you're going to serve papers or there's abuse, there's addiction. Like there are definitely caveats that you want to protect yourself and set a boundary. We are not mad at that. But for the couples out there that are just living their life on two separate tracks, just because in the name of trust you know maybe maybe there are trust issues but or in the name of independence whatever the thing is yeah we we

beg you to be like let's just we beg of you we do we beg of you to say let's work together because of that other aspect which is the emotional side yeah that when you see yourself as a team when you trust the other person so much that you're sharing a very, very, you know, valuable asset in your life, which is your money. But you're seeing you have that ability to have that level of communication, trust, intimacy that is created when you work together. So I agree. And, you know, like you said, this originally came from the Baby Steps community and the comments were there was a lot of comments on it and you know I think you know one of them was like hey I just want financial advice I don't want

marriage advice and so Rachel a lot of times people do separate those categories and they don't see it as the same thing it's like no it's like that compartmentalization of this is my marriage this is my job this is you know and's like, it's not really like that. All of that stuff bleeds together. And when you try to keep it so separate, I just have practical questions, honestly, because I'm like, really, if you're in a, can I just play this out? Because if I'm in a marriage and let's just say I'm doing great, I'm making my money, you know, I don't have a lot of debt, but let's just say Sam Warshaw,

you know, he's not making so much money. He's got a little bit of debt. And I say, hey, let's go out to dinner. What does that look like? What do you do? Am I ordering the tomahawk steak and he's ordering a side salad and I'm just eating and looking at him like,

well, you just need to get your money, you know, in check. What does that look like? What does it look like if one month it's just tight for him and his side of the rent or his side of the mortgage is the bills that he's supposed to pay the water, whatever. Yeah. I just feel like that. I mean, marriage has its own difficulties as in and of itself. Yes. I just feel like that would add such a level of stress and strain and like you owe me and you're, you know, like your spouse could become your debt collector.

Your spouse could become, you know what I'm saying? The person you owe money to. Yes. What a horrible thing for intimacy in a marriage to be like, oh, I'm avoiding you because I owe you the rent. Yep. Is this, I need people to take to the comments on this because I need to understand, is this real? Is this what people are rent. Yep. Is this real? I need people to take to the comments on this because I need to understand, is this real?

Is this what people are facing? Yep. When they don't combine their finances, I'm like, we share a bed. Yes. I carried your children. Like our DNA is together running around in this child. Yes.

I mean, like there is so much here. Yes, but you won't put your $5 over in my account or you won't. Right. Come on. And if it is trust issues, then those are the issues that you need to face. Because I hear so often, Jade, like, gosh, you know, and I still see it in my comments all the time because I get so much hate for this. But people are like, well, we fought all the time when our money was together.

Now that we've separated, we don't fight. I'm like, yeah, yeah, because you're avoiding the issue. So actually, you're fighting was creating some level of conflict, which in turn is some level of intimacy of you actually having to deal with issues. Such a good point. Then just completely just just ignoring it. And so and what scares me about that is we talked about in the first segment, how we're creatures of habit when that starts to be in one area of your marriage that you're compartmentalizing

like you're saying that you can't compartmentalize that it will seep into other areas of your marriage, too. So yeah, there's just this. And so if you are out there, and, and maybe, you know, it's even like, you know, this lady in the baby steps community that posted this. And you can't you find yourself I can't find my I can't combine accounts with my spouse. Ask yourself why. What is it? Is it fear from a past relationship? Because that's real. People have gotten screwed over in a divorce. Like something has happened in their past.

Let's talk about that for a second. Because I follow a couple of different, I follow several different finance pages online. And one of them, the girl I follow, she very much wants to help women feel empowered so they don't get screwed if it goes down in a divorce. Yeah. Because that's what happened to her. Yes. And my thing is like, if you do this the right way, you shouldn't get screwed. Your name, if you are an active participant in the finances, your name is on the mortgage. Yes. Yes. Your name

is on the mortgage. If you have the 401k, he's listed as your beneficiary. If he has it, you know, it's everything is handled to the point where you're listed on everything that you should be listed on along with him. So I don't really see how that argument fleshes out of if there's a divorce, he'll clean you out or she'll clean you out. Does that make sense? And unless it's a situation, a situation, which I know happens, we've had callers on this show

where there is a level of major control from one spouse. There's abuse that's played in that. Yes. And they clean out the account. You're right, like there's that. But if you're in that situation, you don't want to combine accounts. That's right.

I would separate. If you're in a marriage that there's danger for you, we don't want you. Yes, we don't want you combining accounts with a person like that. But again, don't want you uh combining accounts with a person like that so uh but again yeah like you're saying overall it it's so hard and then another thing jay that i hear this is so tactical and so shallow compared to everything we were talking about let's get it but someone i get this a lot too well how can i buy a gift for my spouse how can we

that's great yeah that's great so again on a tactile side you guys get a visa gift card okay well yeah you know your anniversary is coming up. It's not like it's going to be a surprise. So talk about it. Or birthdays, whatever. Most of these life events are not surprises. They're dates on the calendar that you're both very aware of. Or if it is something that's secretive, just say, hey, I...

And maybe blow the surprise a little bit and just say, I want to do something for you. This amount's coming out for a Visa gift card. Just so you know, I'm going to go and buy some stuff with like, like there's ways around it. So don't let that silly, stupid excuse stop you from the intimacy that's created and actually having a marriage where you're one. I agree. And I get a little sneaky. I'm not going to lie. I will go to the grocery store and like under the guise of like the grocery budget, I'll take out a little bit of cash back here and there. So he doesn't know because if he knows it's like, oh, you bought a $200 gift card. I know. I have a feeling of what you're getting me. So I'll like sneak it out a little bit. Maybe that's, I don't know if that's controversial. Here's your present, Sam.

This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, what's up, guys? You're listening to The Ramsey show i'm jade borshaw this is rachel cruz to the right of me if you are watching on youtube which so many of you guys watch and listen to the show there of course there's a podcast that you can listen to on wherever you listen to podcasts but did you guys know that we're actually on Twitter as well? That is right. The Ramsey Show is streaming on Twitter. I didn't even know this was possible, Rachel. I know. I haven't been on Twitter in a long time, Jade. So I don't know either. But yeah, you can watch it. The Ramsey Show, twitter.com slash The Ramsey Show. And you can also follow us on Twitter either as The Ramsey Show. But all the personalities are on there as

well. Yes. Yes. So if you are looking for a place to watch the show, I highly suggest it. Actually, you know, go watch the show wherever you want to. I just want you to watch the show. So whether you log into the app, whether you go on Twitter, whether you go onto the YouTube, I actually prefer YouTube,

but we just want you to watch it. Of course, we want you to share the show if you enjoy it. Share it with your friends. Talk about it. Like it. Subscribe it. All of that stuff helps us. It helps you. And it pumps it up in the algorithms so that other people can see the show as well.

So that is great. Without further ado, we're going to Hartford, Connecticut to talk to Josh. What's going on, Josh? Hey, how y'all doing today? Doing good. How are you? Oh, perfect. Happy Friday.

Thanks for taking my call. It means a lot. And also, thanks for all you guys do for the community. Most definitely. Thank you. Really appreciate it. What's up? So I have a two-part question for you guys today, sort of regarding housing and relocation. So to give you a little bit of background,

I've been in Connecticut my entire life, and I'm finally at a point where I'm looking to relocate down south to a place you may have heard of called Nashville. Oh, come on, Josh. Everyone else is coming. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's a beautiful spot. I love it down there. I've been there so many times.

So the first part of my question is about that moving down to Nashville. Do I go right out and buy a new house or do I rent a house for a few years and figure it out? Um, the reason I say a house and not an apartment is because I have some side hustles that require me to have a house and I don't want to necessarily lose the income from that. Um, the second part of my question is what do I do with the house I currently have in Connecticut regarding do I rent it out while living in Tennessee or do I just sell it and walk away with the money? Wow. I'm curious, first and foremost, what kind of side hustles do you do that require you to have a house? I agree. I agree. Well, so the main thing is I'm actually on YouTube. I do barbecue. So I do do smoking and griddling and all that good stuff.

Okay. I know you can't necessarily park a smoker outside an apartment complex. I feel that. Gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha. That's great. Yeah, and then I'm also a drummer. Go figure.

So you can't be drumming at 10 a.m. with the apartment neighbors banging on the wall. Right, yeah. Got it. Cool. neighbors banging on the on the wall right yeah exactly that's so good well as long as your budget and your income um allows you to have a house i'm good with it but for some reason if you're like no it's 80 of my income has to go to a house you know a rent payment or a mortgage payment i'd find another place to drum and barbecue so these aren't like yeah things that are exclusive i'm assuming that you'll be able to get a house and that's great if that's an option but well i still

like him renting until he belongs to the area yes yes so that's what i would say for sure josh is yeah rent for a year because like any city and i would say this with anyone moving anywhere but yeah but you said nashville specifically i'm like okay well you've got you've got hendersonville you've got east nashville you've got murfreesboro you've got 12 south you've got franklin you've got you have ashland city like there are so many just like majority of cities that you're going to find right spring so many parts spring hill sorry i forgot you jane uh so many parts you know of a city that you want to know okay where do i need to be location wise maybe for a job um if you have to drive somewhere uh what you can afford i mean all of it so you want to know the area uh so definitely

rent for a year and again that goes to anybody moving to any city is to definitely rent and then josh i would i would sell oh yeah being a long distance landlord is so far away no fun no no fun and my guess is that if you had started, if you had started in Nashville, you wouldn't be like, I want to have a rental house in Connecticut. Like that sounds like a dream, you know, so you don't want to hang on to it just because you have it by default. And I'm sure it'd be nice to have that money in your pocket. How much would the house sell for? How much would you be able to walk away with? Yeah. So I bought it for $222,000 in 2019, and I only owe $138,000 on it. And I would walk away, according to my realtor, with a minimum,

you could sell it for $350,000-ish. So yeah, about $180,000, $200,000 hopefully. That's wonderful. And so you could just park that in a high-yield savings account while you rent and learn the area and figure out, you know... What do you make a year, Josh, with all your side hustles? I would say conservatively $110. Okay, that's great. And you're single? Yes. Okay, so it's just you.

Yeah, so I think that's great. I mean, you're making a great income. It's just you, so you're not having to worry about school zones and like, you know, all the other things. And so, yeah, you're able to figure out what fits in your life. So I think that's awesome. So, yep, I would do exactly what Jade said. Park that $200 and rents. Keep that income coming in. And then when you decide to buy somewhere and to put a good down payment, you'll have some good savings to do that. I love it. Thanks, Josh, for the call. That was a great

call. Let's see what Demi's talking about. She's in Denver, Colorado. What's going on, Demi? Is it Demi or Demi? It is Demi. You got it right. Here we go. That's right.

You don't say semi-tractor trailer truck. You say, you know, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Some of y'all got that. Okay. What's going on? Well, thank you guys for taking my call. My question is, I'm wondering if with all of the student loans kind of coming back into effect, if applying for repayment options is going to

hinder the progress that my husband and I are currently making on the baby step. A little bit of background is we're currently in baby step number two, and we're on lesson number four of financial peace. So we might learn more about this in the future. So I had some money saved to pay off some of the student loans. But then unfortunately, my husband lost his job. And as he's searching for a new job, we kind of use some of that as a buffer to make ends meet because we're still adjusting our budget. How much are the student loans? So student loans are $14,500.

And how much other debt do you have? Sorry, I kind of kicked in, but I want to make sure we get to help you before the clock runs out. Yeah, no. Other debt is we just have $38,500, and that's just in family loans. How much do you guys make a year? So with just my income right now, it's $50's 50,000 okay and how long has he been looking for a job um about a month okay and in his what was he made what was he making his previous job um he was making kind of just under what I was making but we were roughly about 50 okay so around 100 total so without without his debt or i'm sorry without

his income are you guys able to cover like basic bills minimum like are you able to cover what it takes to live uh barely okay so you're definitely not making extra payments right yeah we're exactly we're kind of just making it through right now so as i'm sitting Okay, so you're definitely not making extra payments. Right, yeah, exactly. We're kind of just making it through right now. So as I'm sitting here thinking come October and looking at the amount that's going to be due, that's definitely not in the budget. Okay, well, I think, Demi,

what I would say is between now and October, he either needs to have his full-time job or he's going to need to have three side hustles put together. So, I mean, it's not like you guys are going to be floating with $50,000. He needs to have his full-time job or he's going to need to have three side hustles put together so I mean it's not like you guys are going to be floating with 50,000 he needs to be doing something because you guys have all this debt right I mean you're you guys aren't in a position for him um to be looking forever and ever and maybe it's him taking a job that is not his favorite job for a year just to get you guys through this process. But I think him getting an income between now and October is necessary and doable, whether again, it's a full-time job or he puts together two or three side hustles that he does, but bringing in something to be able to help cover

and put down this. So yeah, I mean, I wouldn't go for a repayment option at this point because you're not in this urgent state. You guys have time. And like Rachel, you put it beautifully. Get something until you get what you want. He needs to be making some income until he can ultimately make the income that he wants to be making at the job that he wants to have. Anything is better than nothing. And I mean, you've got time.

You know, the interest is going to start back in August and then payments resuming. So you've got a little bit of time here. Don't panic. I never want people to take the repayment plans, guys. The lower the payment, the longer you're going to have the loan and the larger that loan is going to grow over time. So try to avoid that at all costs. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, what's going on, guys? You're listening to The Ramsey Show. I am your host, Jade Warshaw, joined by Rachel Cruz.

We are taking calls all day, all afternoon about your life and your money. So be sure to give us a call, 888-825-5225 is how you can get a hold of us. And I want to tell you guys this. If you're a new listener and you want to dive deeper into the Ramsey baby steps, I want to tell you guys this. If you're a new listener and you want to dive deeper into the Ramsey Baby Steps, I want you right now or as soon as you get a chance to go to RamseySolutions.com and I want you to click on that Get Started button. And we're going to just help you figure out what's the best next step for you on your financial journey. And that's based on exactly where you're at today. So go to RamseySolutions.com and click Get Started so you can know what's up. Figure out what it is that we're talking about. When we talk to you guys about the baby steps, when we use certain terminologies, if you're new to this whole thing, Rachel, you could be like, I don't know what they're talking about. What language are they speaking? I never read the total money makeover. What even is it?

So go to RamseySolutions.com and figure out what that is because there's so much information there. It's just going to blow your mind and it's going to help you move forward no matter where you're at today. So that's how that works. In the meantime, we're going to go to Jen in Phoenix, Arizona. What's going on, Jen? Hi, I'm Jen. And thank you for taking my call. I'm really excited to talk to you.

Oh, thanks. Thanks for calling. How can we help? So I'm in a sticky wicket and, um, we have like $45,000 worth of credit card debt and a house with a lot of equity. My, um, my husband works, uh, he's a line apprentice, like an electrical lineman apprentice, and he's working outside the home right now in Albuquerque. So we're kind of paying for two households and it got expensive and a little crazy. And we had three kids in like three years. So, um, there's just been a lot of stress and I need to know, like, how do I get out

of this? Do I, so the house that we have? And move to Albuquerque. How long are you guys going to be separated for, for his job? He's got three years-ish. Jen, you guys, this isn't going to last. This isn't good. This would not be a good situation to be in for three years.

If it's only three months, then I'd be like, all right, we can stick this out. What's keeping you from, what's the mentality that's saying, we're going to stay here while you go there? Explain that a little bit. Well, he's living in an RV because he can be relocated at any time. But you said three years. Yes yes he will do this for three years like he was in el paso before now he's in albuquerque okay well he moved in three years he will be relocated to another city correct yes at minimum every six months okay so here's how i

would almost treat it jen it almost sounds again different. I don't want to get hit on for this, but almost like a military. I was like, it's like a military situation. And we always tell military families to rent, especially while they're active duty, because they move bases, right? Very consistently. And owning a home, you want to own a home for five years or longer just to get the wave through, know the ups and the downs of the market so uh i mean jen if i were you you got three little kids how old are your kids three two and seven months get to albuquerque go i would sell how much is your how much how much equity is in your house uh we owe 137 on it we have it's worth like probably 400 oh my gosh wow come on and get this oh yeah i would oh jen and a heartbeat girl i would i would be looking to rent two rents okay yeah selling your house in phoenix you guys go rent a house in albuquerque so that you have your

husband in the mornings and at night when he's home, your family is intact. You're basically a single mom. Yeah. I mean, in those ages, Jen, speaking of moms with little ones, you're exhausted. I don't even know how you're speaking to us in full sentences because it's so much work. It's just so much. So I would do that. I would sell. And then that's going to help you pay off this credit card debt uh but also i want to know jen what caused you guys to go forty five thousand dollars in credit card debt um i think it was just um i mean just like child care like i work full time okay and have a lot of, it's just been really expensive. We had a lot of kids and honestly, I think I've been kind of in denial of just not really

wanting to care about money very much. Are you putting bills on credit cards? Like, are you putting the bill for childcare? Like, are you making ends meet with credit cards? Yeah, I make, yeah, we are making payments towards them but it's getting to the point where like they're really expensive and we're exhausted and yeah um Jen what do you what do you do for a living I I'm an account executive for commercial insurance so okay how much do you make i make like 90 000 a year okay and how much does your husband make about the same right now but he's only making 60 of his income he's only at 60 when will he be at 100 in three years okay i'm a little confused you guys

have a i guess he's at 60 of his income but y'all make too much money to feel this broke. Let's just put it like that. With these credit cards, are you actively working a budget or are you kind of just making it work every month? Are you on every dollar? Are you plotting this out? Is there a monthly plan? No.

Yeah. No, that's okay, Jen. That's okay. You're fine. Yes, don't feel shame from that. because i think what jade is is pointing out is and i think you said it jen just to say your words back to you that i think i was avoiding the money situation because it just was it's it's been so much it's just been too hard and so uh what we want to be able to do for you is for you to feel empowered to to be able to know what's going on. Because I think

part of the ignorance, Jen, is causing a lot of fear. And you don't have hard facts in front of you. And our friend, Dr. John Deloney, always says, facts are your friends. And you've been dealing in a lot of feelings, which is good. And it gets feelings, right? We're going to feel the feels. But also, you have to have the facts to be that foundation for you. So I want you to hold on the line, Jen, because Austin's going to pick up. And we want to put you through Financial Peace University, you and your husband. It's an EveryDollarPlus, which is our budgeting tool. And if we give this to you, Jen, as a gift, are you going to use it? Yeah.

Will you use it? You promised us. Okay, we want you to use this because I want you and your husband, I want you guys to be on a page together because it even sounds like, and I could only imagine, Jen, I'm like when your husband is working full-time in another city, you're alone. I mean, there's a level of isolation and being a mom

and you're trying to keep up the childcare and the working. Yeah, she's just trying to stay alive. Yeah, all of this, like it's just a lot. And so I think you guys being on the same page financially with the same plan yeah it's going to be very helpful but Jen you got to get to Albuquerque girl yeah I don't know if you have girlfriends in your life to tell you but but Jade and I are here look y'all like you need to be you need you guys need to be a family and I think that's going to allow a lot more peace I mean I'm not kidding just the presence of having your family

unit together and you guys going through Financial Peace University together, you and your husband, like you guys are going to start to build this foundation to realize what we've been doing isn't working. This idea of having a level of just, I want to be ignorant. I don't want to think about it, which is very normal, Jen. That's a very normal thing. But where it's gotten you, how you guys have functions, financially at least, where it's gotten you, how you guys have functions, financially at least, where it's gotten you, you're not happy. You're calling us stressed. I mean, you can't do much when you're in survival mode. And that's where they're at. I mean, your husband's gone. You're at home with these kids. You're just trying to get through the day. The last thing you're thinking

about is making a budget. And you know what I saying like that get yourself in a place where you're where you can calm down you can breathe everybody's safe everybody's good then you can send it's like okay let's because there's a truth let's open up the door to see the monster in the closet yes and Jade feels this too but I'm like Jen I even think about your day and I'm like you get home and you have to do dinner for three kids you're doing bath time you're're doing bedtime. I mean, that's a nightmare with two parents. Three kids under three. Yes. Three, two, a one. So you have a lot on you.

Just know that too, because that's a lot. So I think getting any level of peace, Jen, is really going to help your quality of life. And what Jade and I can do from this side of the call is encourage you to be with your husband. I would move and I'm rent in Albuquerque you guys get on the same page financially and then all the other stuff of the dynamics of your life and working and child care and all that you guys work out those are puzzles in this big pieces in this big puzzle uh but you got this Jen I would make some

big life changes it's gonna be uncomfortable but I think at the end of the day it's gonna help you oh I agree yeah Financial Peace University definitely the day, it's going to help you. Oh, I agree. Yeah. Financial Peace University, definitely the ticket. And when it comes to Financial Peace University, you still got to put in the work. When it comes to your life and your money, you got to do the work. You can tell me that you won't do it, but do not tell me that you can't. With Christ, all things are possible. Never forget that. This is The Ramsey Show.

Hey, what's up, guys? It's Jade. forget that this is The Ramsey Show.