The Ramsey Show - App - Your Adult Kids Don't Need to Be on an Allowance! (Hour 1)

Episode Date: December 9, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, best-selling author, is my co-host today. As we talk about your relationships, your mental health, and your money, it's The Ramsey Show. We talk about you all day long, right in front of you. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Alexandria starts off this hour in Columbus, Georgia.

Hi, Alexandria. How are you? Great, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Well, my husband and I will have to pay off $135,000 in debt on December 15th. Wow.

How long did that take? Well, we probably did about three or four years of dave ish so and then the we really buckled down this last year we probably got 75 000 of it done just then wow good for you well done yeah yeah so wish we wouldn't have done Dave-ish as long as we did. Proud of you. Cool. My question is now, we just found out that my husband has to have $30,000 worth of dental surgery. Of course he does. Of course. Of course he does. We're not going to pay enough debt.

So we were going to start our emergency fund, but do we pause that and treat this like a debt he doesn't have to have it tomorrow probably mid next year um so what is your household income well that's also good news it will go up to 165 000 on december 15th um well you know we have question is, is this an emergency or will it become one by the middle of next year? And if the answer is yes, then it's an emergency fund issue. You're funding Baby Step 3 now that you're debt-free, and you're just going to put an extra $30,000 into Baby Step 3. Or when Baby Step 3 is funded, you're going to save up for the non-emergency item as soon as that is done so you're going to be there by the summer i have a question though you don't suddenly need thirty thousand dollars worth of dental surgery unless you're in a car

wreck right um his is a combination of parents that decided he didn't have to go to the dentist once he proved it when he was a child, and shoddy dentist work that he had when he was younger. So it's one of those things that we didn't want to face. So is he hurting? We're trying to pay off debt. I'm sorry. Is he hurting in pain? He is not. We have taken care of those issues. So this is preventative and cosmetic?

Correct, yes. Okay. I've done a lot of work with dentists on the business side of the equation over the years, and there are some very, very, very very good ones as a matter of fact i endorse several in different cities around america i completely believe in what they do but i also know that there is a um a vast spectrum shall we say of uh care and uh competency and pricing and so the the chance of me personally doing this or someone that I'm writing the check for doing this

with only one opinion and without becoming a freaking expert on everything involved while I'm doing it is zero. So you need to get like three more opinions, and you all really need to study this because I think you've been given a narrative okay by the dentist oh it was shoddy work and he never went because his kids did his mom didn't make him behave and well i didn't go to the dentist a lot when i was a kid i got on my teeth so it you know um but it wasn't because i didn't my parents didn't make me we just didn't you know they were just we just didn't do that

but i mean i want some but you know it's not like today you're down there every 20 minutes with your kids. So, yeah, I'm just going to verify that this is accurate. And once I verify that it's accurate, I'm going to put it somewhere just the other side of the emergency fund if it's not an emergency that's when if it's if it's cosmetic and he's able to chomp down on that steak yeah it goes after the emergency for a long time now that's right yeah so i mean i'll yeah just to so when we were going broke i had zero money and we were in bankruptcy and all this i had a toothache so i go in the dentist and he says um you need 3200 worth of work done in the next 90 days or you're going to lose all of your teeth and you're going to be walking around like the abominable snowman basically you know and so

basically that thing and i'm like dude i don't have 3200 and i don't have any credit because i'm in bankruptcy and so i guess i'm just going to be Mr. Just change my name to Mr. Abominable. Right. And so two years later, I went to the dentist again and just to have a cleaning. And how's everything going? Just fine. And how much work have I done 30 years later that he suggested? Zero. Zero.

Yeah. And doing okay. So I just got a bad guy there got a bad guy he was trying to make his kids college payment or something i don't know what he was doing but um but that just uh just said uh dentists and doctors and lawyers are people too there's a spectrum a sometimes they make B, sometimes they're not competent. C, sometimes they're crooks. And so I'm always going to double check when it's a lot of money because $3,200 30 years ago was $30,000 today. Right. That's a lot of money. And I was so broke.

I was just, $3,200? You've got to be kidding me. I could buy two cars for that, you know? So, no. Yeah. And, again, that's not that Dave Ramsey hates dentists, so don't send me that crap on Twitter and doesn't believe in dental care. Oh, my God.

Well, some of this sounds like... Why don't we extrapolate from there? You wait so long. You bust it. You pay off all this debt. You hit this goal, and you've got this carrot at the end, which is, I've got to get this done.

Kind of like when you've got to go to the bathroom real bad and you're on a long trip, and then you finally pull over and go to the gas station, and then it feels like that one moment, you could have kept going to tim up that moment once it's you're right by the bathroom door it's it's coming right you gotta get there it feels like i've got to get this thing done i gotta get it done gotta get when we get out of debt we get out of debt we get out of debt and it's so easy to jump the gun you've done all and then all of a sudden there's another thing that's urgent that has been there for 10 years for 10 years i i gotta go that's what i was talking about gotta do it

urgent thing yeah that's what i gotta that's what i'm talking about so yeah just tap the brakes a little bit become wise make sure that this is accurate if it is accurate i'm not saying don't do it yeah um but i don't know um that many folk that i have ever known did $30,000 worth of work that I was aware of. Right. Maybe they did and I wasn't aware of it. And it can just go from we've been doing this for 30 years. We could save up over the next year and pay for it to let's just go ahead and get it done to next thing you know you've put that on a payment plan. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Now I've got cold chills. It's a zero interest. No, I couldn't. I wasn't suggesting that. It happens. No one would do that after they called this show. That would never happen. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Show.

This is the Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Imagine a world where people never have to worry about money ever again. At Ramsey Solutions, our mission is to teach people how to get out of debt, build lasting wealth, and be outrageously generous. And that means we have to take on the toxic money culture that says you need debt to get ahead. Well, we're okay with that. We've seen millions of lives changed, and we will continue to create digital products and services to help people transform their lives. If you want to join me and the over 1,000 other team members on this crusade, we're currently on the hunt for web developers, UX designers, SEO and content marketing specialists, all kinds of digital help. Together, we'll disrupt the toxic money culture in America today. To get more information on these open opportunities, text careers to 33789. Text careers to 33789.

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We all talk about the offense, but we don't talk enough about the defense, and that's where insurance comes in. There's ten kinds of insurance coverage you might need, probably do need, most of them, based on what your life looks like. And we built a tool to help you figure that out. It's free, and it's called the Coverage Checkup. And it'll tell you which types you need to add, drop, or adjust, and will even rank your coverage list by importance. Email it to you, connect you with a Ramsey-trusted insurance provider so you can get your plan in place fast. Donald H. wrote in, and I like how he put it.

He said, for anyone who has not completed this checkup, do it right now. You never know when something will happen, and you never want to leave your family in a bad situation. It's free. Do the coverage checkup. Ramseysolutions.com slash checkup. Don't let an emergency sneak up on you. That's why we call them emergencies. Ramseysolutions.com slash checkup. Don't let an emergency sneak up on you. That's why we call them emergencies. RamseySolutions.com slash checkup.

Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings, free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use the magic word, the promo code RAMSEY. All right, today's question comes from Debbie in Oklahoma. Debbie writes, my husband and I are a blended family. His kids live with their mother, and it's been a long, difficult road with them. They both dropped out of college, and one is currently not speaking to us. The other has voluntarily limited her work hours,

so she's still struggling financially and doesn't get benefits. Years ago, we set a number in our budget for them. Yeah, I'd cut this off today. for grown-ups who don't live with us, especially if they are not in our lives at all. What are your thoughts on this? Yeah, I'd cut this off today. Completely agree. Totally. We're done. Yeah. Done.

Yeah. Number one, I don't give money to people who don't speak to me. I mean, just kiss my butt. That's ridiculous. That does not buy you anything. it does not cause anything good to happen it's it's just a sign of complete enabling yeah um dad's guilt over the former guilt money over whatever happened that caused the divorce he's still playing disney dad and they're 27 yep and that's just bs it's hurting them well it is the whole situation there everybody's just

allowed them to continue they're stunted back when the divorce happened and they're still living emotionally at about that age. And because no one, especially their mother, his ex is pushing any buttons. And so, yeah, I mean, I would just say, listen, I love you. If you're hungry, come over. You can have dinner anytime. Just holler at us ahead of time. If we've got something on the stove, we'll share it with you. We'll never let you be hungry.

But we're not giving able-bodied adults money. Go get a job. What do you think about this, Dave? I don't like the idea of – I don't have adult kids yet. I don't like the idea of giving money to adult kids just as a part of a budget. No. If an adult kid comes and says, hey, I'm hey i'm gonna go to college i'm gonna go to med school you know maybe for tuition or for but just no your adult kids do not need to be on an allowance it's an allowance yeah it's just ridiculous that's the definition of adult yeah you're on your own puppy so i mean you know it's um old old hard school dad you know you're 18 years old uh

you're either in college or you get a job and you leave that's right i mean one of the two and by the way if you're in college you're probably gonna leave so um so you're gonna leave that's hardcore i mean but it's there's there's something developmentally we we have i've read several articles and you probably know a thousand times more about this than i do about the we've got a group of people that not all of them not the entire generation but two two larger percentage of a generation who their emotional evolution their emotional growth was stunted by living in mom's basement. And I actually think it goes one generation before that. We have a group of adults who are using kids to prop themselves up, and they've created this, right?

Like, I need my kid. That's where I get my validation. I didn't get it from my marriage. I didn't get it from work. I didn't get it from society. I got it from my kid. And here you are. You blink, and you look up, and they're 25 years old,

and you're still sending them an allowance. Yeah, because there is pain as a parent when they leave yeah because you're no longer you're it's part of your identity that's it when your kids become your identity when their success becomes validation yeah but it but i mean it's it's healthy that i'm a dad of us these are my children that's right and then when they're still your children but they're quote grown children, which is an oxymoron. It's their success becomes your, yeah, yeah, yeah.

When their performance on the tee ball field becomes your validation. Oh, well, that's always been a problem. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but I'm talking about the, there's a natural tearing that the parent also experiences when the kid moves out and becomes an adult.

Yeah. There's like, oh, God. And you've experienced, how much easier would it be if i could just throw 500 bucks and they'd stay another month yeah maybe another month and then you know what i mean and uh but yeah it's a it's it's giving a drunk a drink ultimately although they're not drinking they're just emotionally immature right they have not evolved and now they don't know how to receive they're 27 years old and they're operating on about a 17

year old emotional level is that? You've seen that data. Oh, gosh. Well, it's just tough to take feedback from a boss who says, I want this report done differently. Or the first time you have a fight with the person you're dating, it's all over. I mean, there's none of that emotional resilience. Yeah. And immaturity. Yeah.

So, yeah, that's what happens here. So, yeah, you need to cut them off. It'll be good for them is what we're saying. Yes. You know, but now let me change that just a second because I made a mistake. I said you need to cut them off. Your husband needs to cut his kids off. You don't need to say a stinking word. Right.

Because you'll be the Wicked Witch of the West. My bad father married this woman, and after that, they never helped us anymore no that that's you may get the blame whether you do it or not but you need to stay way back from this and push him out into the light he needs to be a grown-up push him out onto the stage and he stumbles out there and makes the speech yeah that's and you just stand back in the wings and give him a thumbs up that's right that's right thumb in the back all right open phones at 888-825-5225 hey we're doing uh as we always do our last live show we always do uh best ofs from christmas to new year's our last live show is always the last day before we go out on christmas break um and we will be doing that on the 22nd of december

and that show is always a giving show we We take three hours and set it aside, three one-hour shows, which we do every day, and do it all on giving. So if you have a great giving story or receiving story, maybe you've received generosity or been the person who gave generosity, it's always inspiring to other people. It's not you bragging on yourself or saying how great you are. We need great stories because it tells other people how important this subject is go to ramsey solutions dot com slash ask put giving in the subject line and kelly will get back to you and arrange for you to be part of the giving show ramsey solutions dot com slash ask put giving in the subject i was i was a part of that show last year that was a blast man that was the first time you were starting to poke around on this stuff right

yeah i mean i said that i think we've been about august through through december there but that was cool is to hear those stories of all of the successful giving opportunities it was just rad it was cool to see it's it's um it's inspiring yeah it is and because you you find the um the creative ways that people work and god works through people because it's never uh cut and dried it's never a template no it's always some cool twist on something that but how fun is it to be creative about how to bless somebody that now you're using like art and creativity and blessing i saw one the other day on the on the internets with a group of people they do it every year they get a group of friends together they all go out and everybody's required at the table to bring a hundred dollar bill on top of their food and they tip the waitress and there's about

15 of them and it's just it's a thing they do as a group of 15 friends go out they have 1500 bucks they get a 1500 tip on whatever their dinner is. And just seeing their face as she got it, it was such a cool thing. And whatever Fred came up with that idea, genius, right? I just love that idea. That is about as good as it gets right there. I love it. So fun.

So very fun. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality. This is The Ramsey Personalities, my co-host on the debt-free stage in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. Jim and Mara are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Hi, great. How are you, Dave? Welcome.

Where do you all live? We live in Columbiana, Ohio, near Youngstown. Oh, wow. Okay. Very cool. Welcome. Where do y'all live? We live in Columbiana, Ohio, near Youngstown. Oh, wow. Okay. Very cool. Welcome to Nashville. So how much debt have you guys paid? It's a whopper. It's $303,000 or $303,678. Good for you. And how long did this take? Took 68 months. Okay. And your range of income during that time? We started out at $55,000. Oh, yeah. I was just graduating graduate school, and Jim was working, and so... And now we're at $178,000.

Yep. Okay. Very nice. What do you all do for a living? I'm a speech therapist. And I run the business side of an architecture firm. Okay. So did you pay off your house, or did you have a crazy student loan?

Crazy student loan. Crazy student loan. All right. Graduate and five-year degrees. A big one. A big one. Yeah. How much of that $304,000 was student loan debt?

$289,000. $289,000. All speech therapy? It was pretty even. Oh, was it? Each of us. Yeah, my degree was in architecture, so I actually went to, you know, I did the thing where you go to the best possible school, and it's private.

You get four plus one? Right. Yep. Yeah. And it was about $180 for me. Wow. Yeah. So as soon as she gets out of school, we get get the income way up then we jump on it with both

feet and go yeah yeah okay so how did you guys tie into us what's your story overall tell us your story it actually started whenever i was traveling around the country uh working for a technology startup i ended up not actually using my degree uh in my most of my career and so i i read the book and i actually started with Entree Leadership once I heard you on the radio to apply those principles to the business. And then we both dove into the total money makeover. Yeah. We were working on it separately starting in 2015, starting to pay our loans off. And we got married in 2018. And so then we've really ramped it up since then to really get it all done and paid for.

Wow, way to go. Combining your income really, really helps. Oh, yeah. Anyone that's listening, definitely do that if you're married. Get a nice big shovel and just get after it. Yeah, and we have kind of really been a good team throughout the whole thing and making sure that we're making – we have our bimonthly budget meetings and we duel it out sometimes. But we've stuck together the whole time and that's kind of what's been a big factor. That's the big breakthrough.

Yeah. Without question. So if I asked you how – go ahead. I was going to say you guys make a great salary. Surely there's people where you all work that look at your cars you're driving and say, what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah.

You know, you've got the questions, when are you guys buying a house? When are you doing this? Why don't you just get a lease? You know, all those things. And yeah. We're still renters. Yeah. Yeah.

We don't own a house. Wait a minute. Wait, wait. You're renting and you haven't died yet? No. Correct. It's been a miracle every day. I thought if you rented, you just spontaneously combusted at some point.

Yeah. Because you can't live like that. Wow. It's great. Yeah. No maintenance. You know. That's what you say.

I've got a plumber coming tomorrow that I'm paying for. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Homeownership is not cheaper. Yeah. That's the answer to that question. It is a better investment long haul, but ownership is not cheaper yeah uh that's the answer to that question it is a better investment long haul but it is not cheaper so guys that's incredible so when people

ask how did you do that what did you do to pay off 304,068 months you cleaned up a huge student loan mess and one of the things you tell them is you you said we work together so what else do you tell them um i think it's i mean sacrifice you know we uh especially like during covet i work in work in health care i was working saturdays when i could um for a little extra pay i was uh jim was you know i was uber driving bartending i was doing everything on top of my full-time job. And, you know, those little extra payments that you make and, you know, as you lay out the debts and the baby steps, as you start to see them sort of disappear, even though it was a large principle for both of us, that really helps your momentum.

And the sacrifice is definitely the big. And we've had a lot of support from both of our families. I mean, I had to live at home with my parents for, like, it seems forever. It was like five or six years for me to clean up my mess because of my income with the balance of the student loans that I had. Nothing feels better than graduating from a really fancy school with a graduate degree in architecture and moving back in with your mom, huh? Yeah, and it was hard because our we have a lot of incredible friends but it felt like a lot of people were moving on with their lives and taking these next chapters and we were sort of trying to we really it was hard

and everybody had it is hard uh and people don't understand they look at you like you got one eye in your head yeah but now you're now you're moving with jet fuel. It's going to be a whole different ballgame. Yeah. Have you all had the paycheck come in where you have no mortgage? I mean, where you've got no student loans? The paycheck comes in and you just look at it and say, oh. Oh, it's incredible.

Yeah. It's pretty great. Look at your eyes. I mean, to see your money. Your eyes got really wide. Yeah. How much money you're going to have saved in 20 minutes is amazing. I know.

Yeah. We already got our emergency fund done. We actually paid it off faster than we thought. It was this past May. Yeah. Yeah. A couple months. So it's, I mean, it's incredible once you start going how you just pick up more and

more momentum. Congratulations. You're going to be there in 20 minutes. You know, it's going to be just a complete flip. Very, very fast now. Yeah. Congratulations. Thank you.

I'm proud of y'all. You guys are amazing. We're a rock star couple. We couldn't have done it without you guys. Yeah. So thank you for everything that you're are amazing rock star couple we couldn't have done without you guys so thank you for everything thank you we didn't pay it you did your show kept us going the whole time we listened to you all the time thank you it's our honor if we can walk alongside people like you guys so uh hey we got a copy of the baby steps millionaires book it comes out in january but i know a guy we're to get you an early release copy in a few minutes here. And you'll leave with it today.

And, of course, the Total Money Makeover book as well for you to give away. Maybe you can get somebody else on this journey. You guys have climbed a really high mountain as the first order of business in your relationship. And that sets you up to be able to climb any mountain, anything that comes in front of you. No obstacle is going to hold you guys back from this point forward. You are really going to be Baby Step millionaires very very quickly and you're going to be in a position to really help and really do anything you want to do from this point forward so absolutely that's our goal so proud of you guys very very very well done all right it's jim and mara from youngstown ohio area. $304,000 paid off in 68 months.

Big butt student loans. $55,000 to $178,000 was the income range during that time. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! We're debt free that is how that's done boys and girls oh man you gotta love it you gotta love it 303 that's a lot of money 289 000 worth of student loan debt and you know that's that's a medical degree yeah that's a a lot of things and

so the you know you know who that that that this debt-free scream was for someone that is watching right now that thought this couldn't be done that's right or for someone that's listening right now that thought this couldn't be done because that is a mountain yeah and they did it and i'm looking at a couple who by all external appearances still likes each other and they've rented they still like each other they haven't bought new cars they still like each other you know i mean so there's the key was sacrifice yeah there's all these illusions like well our marriage can't make it if we don't do that. That's bull crap. Yes, you can. If you're committed and you work together, you can.

You can do anything if you're committed and you work together. It's just stinking amazing. And they are, man, they're amazing. There's a lot of personal power right there on that stage. Did you see all the emotion out of an architect? Yeah. Wow. That's incredible.

Well, there's that. But, you know, it just illustrates because someone listening right now has got, you know, $180,000, $210,000 worth of student loan debt, and they're not a doctor or a lawyer, not a medical doctor or a lawyer, and they're thinking, oh, well, I'm just going to have this forever. It's overwhelming, and they gave up hope. And this particular moment, this particular debt-free scream, this was for you. Whoever you are out there, it was for you. And it means you can do it, by the way. And you should do it.

And you should start today. This is The Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author of the book Redefining Anxiety, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. Matthew is in Boise, Idaho. Hey, Matthew, how are you? Hi, Mr. Ramsey.

Hi, Dr. Deloney. Thank you for taking my call today. Sure man, what's up? So I was in a training accident a few years ago. I'm now a 100% disabled vet, considered homebound. And so kind of a two-parter question, I want to know, how do I live life and build wealth on a fixed income at age 26 versus, you know the fact that I don't really leave my house often, if it's a good idea to sell my car and use it to pay off all the debt I have right now. Wow. Well, Matthew, thank you for your service. I'm sorry for the pain you've endured. What is the nature of your disability, sir? In an accident, I broke everything in my legs and my back.

So it's a lot of mobile. You have mobility issues. Yeah. Are you in a wheelchair no for thank god i can walk it hurts but i can walk so what is homebound you've been determined to be homebound what does that mean it sounds like a label or a diagnostic of some sort what does that mean yeah that's what uh Veteran Affairs consider me. Okay.

I am able to leave the house. Like, I do my grocery shopping. I go see my brother. When my parents come into town and visit, I pick them up from the airport. So, like, I do leave my house. But every step is painful. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Man, I'm sorry. Yeah. That that's tough so how much is your disability check a month uh they just upped it so it's going to be three thousand seven hundred and thirty dollars okay okay all right and what were you was military all you've ever done? No. Before that, I pretty much worked for Best Buy most of my time. I started as a salesman, got into a supervisor role, and then switched over to logistics. I wanted to go back to school, so I changed back to sales. My store ended up closing, and I had trouble finding a job and then that's when I was like well army will pay for schooling so I went and joined the army

now in your disability package uh they will pay for more school will they not I believe so yes yeah I think you've got some additional GI benefits, and that's cool. All right. Now, I'm going to be indelicate because I'm looking for answers. In talking to you, I don't hear any mental issue at all. It sounds like your whole thing is you just were in a horrible bone-crushing accident. Is that correct pretty much um i it has really affected me like i do see a counselor every week i talk to to discuss things oh yeah that was a traumatic

event but you don't have any like there was no brain injury there's no brain injury or there was no you're not mentally deficient in any way other than the fact that you're just the normal depression from this trauma, right? As far as we can tell, yeah. Okay. All right. Did – all right. So, because that goes to – so, here's the thing.

I'll just answer this the way I would answer it if I woke up in your shoes, and I've never been in your shoes, so I don't know how this feels. And to be very blunt with you, I'm a complete wuss. I can't stand a hangnail, and so I can't imagine the pain issues that you're dealing with. And so me giving you advice is ridiculous in a sense, but I'm going to anyway because you called me so um i have been inspired as i've watched people over the 30 years i do what i do uh uh find a way to utilize the good parts of their life to have an awesome life when they've got these limitations.

And you've got this tremendous limitation now. But I'm also talking to a very bright guy. And so if you decided to do some kind of business from home with the computer or with the telephone, the guy I'm talking to could pull that off, I think. Absolutely. You could be a world-class computer coder. You could sell stuff on eBay. I don't know what it is.

I just think that the guy I'm talking to could do a lot to add to this income, and you might find something where you end up making $200,000 a year and having an awesome financial life in spite of the the medical and the pain that you're going to face probably to some degree for the rest of your life uh unless some kind of huge breakthroughs occur or something in that field but but you that that card is dealt that hand that ship has sailed so now i'm trying to figure out with what I have, what can I make? What can I do? What can I be?

And maybe you're a world-class author and you just sit and write. Maybe you become known as a poet laureate. I don't know. Pain sometimes opens up those parts of the brain and allows you to do things that other normal humans that don't have superhero powers can do. So I have no idea, but I have met so many people that are in your situation who beyond compensated and became just inordinately successful. And so I would keep your car, and I would start thinking about what my next career is, and I'm going to send you Ken Coleman's career assessment on what it is you can do.

And, of course, you're going to line that up with the physical limitations. But I don't think you're constricted to $3,730 from 26 years old on. No, I think there's that moment where you're in a dark season. You've got to grieve what was and what you're hoping would be. You've got to hone what happened. And then, man, the sky's really the limit. It's about you're going to open up the blinds. You're going to let people in.

Dave, I'm glad you said to keep the car. I want you to go out and do the best you can. Go be with other people. Whether that means, hey, we're going to meet at such and such. We're all going to grab a drink at such and such place. Get the old guys back together. You're going to meet new friends. You go to the VA and you be one of those awesome guys who goes back and welcomes new people who are coming to the VA who experienced accidents.

Whatever that is, you're going to find some healing in connection. And that's going to find some healing in connection. And that's going to help turn some of that light back on that has been snuffed out. You've got to get a new mission. And the new mission is, I can. And like Dave said, I don't care what that is. It could be anything. New mission, I've got to go back to school.

Thank goodness the GI Bill is going to pay for it. I've got to get some more training. I've got to, I've've got it and i'm gonna make it happen yeah and and then you'll be the guy that's featured yeah on on the magazine comeback story yeah you know i mean you'll be that guy i'll buy your book you're an awesome guy man you know when i was on fox business a thousand years ago uh when that network first started we stopped and did a feature on a guy that was uh doing landscaping for me and uh he was like 60 years old at the time and uh he jumps out of the landscape truck jumps up into a bobcat and takes off and um uh two prosthetic legs and he runs a landscaping company he's driving a bobcat i mean like 30 miles an hour across my yard you know and so i'm like

hey dude i got to talk to you what happened and he was in the railroad and uh working on the railroad working on an engine and a train rolled across and took both his legs wow and he was like 20 years old and now i'm talking to him like 40 years later and he's running an uber successful landscape company i mean you know multiple employees jumping in and out of stuff. I mean, you know, a different situation than this young man has in terms of this young man's got different limitations than he had. But people like that, they're just inspiring to me. Aren't they amazing? I can't even.

I mean, I can't. But still, you go, wow. Because it just tells you, it takes away. You're going to be the guy that takes away the excuses for people that don't have airflares. All the able-bodied people, man, got out of excuses because of people like you. Yeah, like you are getting ready to become. That's who I want you to be, and I can see that for you. And so, no, you don't build wealth on $3,730.

You build wealth on who you're going to become. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey guys, this is James, senior producer for The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? And a lot of those people listen on one of our 600 plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, head to theramzshow.com.