The Ramsey Show - App - Your Budget Isn't the Boss of You Until You Do One! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: December 15, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and a paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I am Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, best-selling author of the book, Redefining Anxiety,sey personality, best-selling author of the book, Redefining Anxiety, is my co-host today here on the air. We're taking your calls about your life, your money, and certainly with Dr. D here, we'll talk about your life.

Anything that's going on with you, we're here to help you. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Mike is with us. Mike is in Oklahoma City. Hey, Mike, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you, Dave. How are you doing? Sure, man.

What's up? Yeah, my father passed away from COVID back on the 9th. Oh, no. And, yeah, it's been kind of rough for us. My mother inherited his 401K, and it's in his group plan. They informed her she could keep it in there. She retired. She's debt-free.

We don't know what to do. Should we roll it over? They did tell her that it would no longer be managed by the asset group, and neither one of us has any expertise in investing. I'm so sorry. How old was your dad? 69. That sounds younger every day.

Okay. How much is in the 401K? It's $720,000. Okay. How much is in the 401k? Okay. $720,000. Okay. Well, this is going to be coming in, and we have nobody to figure out where we need to go. We know we don't want to touch it. We want it to grow. Right. And does your mom have an income other than from this money that she can live on,

or do we need to draw some off of this for her to live? She retains her social security I think it's like $2,100 and something dollars a month and that's plenty for her like I said the house is paid off the car is paid off he left her in really good shape and they were debt free

they worked themselves up out of debt well she needs to get more than $2,000 a month man we need to give her a better life than that because she's a millionaire. She is sometimes. I know, but she needs to lighten up and enjoy a little bit of it.

And she does not have to go hog wild and lose $200,000 at the craps table or something like that. But she ought to go and do some stuff and buy some stuff here or there. And so I would have you draw a couple thousand dollars additional off of this money a month. That's $24,000 a year. That won't even touch it.

There's no possible way she could go through this money in her lifetime doing that, but it would double her quality of life. And so let's do that for mom. So what you need to do, here's what you're looking for. You are not, and here's what you're not looking for. You are not looking for a money manager, an investment broker who tells you what to do, and you just go along with whatever he or she says because they have letters after their name and a nice suit. This is how you lose all your money.

Do not do that. Okay? Okay. What you are looking for is an investment advisor that will teach you and mom. And it may take a little bit of effort, and it may be difficult during this time of grieving. So it's okay if you don't do anything fancy at first. So here's a couple steps for you that I would tell you to do. Number one, let's don't get in a hurry on becoming an investment expert.

You're not going to be one in 20 minutes, okay? Okay. Let yourself off the hook. But also don't just turn it over to somebody because they're smart and you think you're dumb that's how people lose all their money like those athletes that lost all their money that's what they did that was one of the anxiety points for me to trust somebody like that yeah you don't do that it's not their money it's your mom's money you trust you and your mom but and the way you can trust you is you're going to learn so here's some steps that allow you to move slowly and

carefully so rule number one's don't go fast rule number two is don't invest money in anything you don't understand which means you can't go fast because it's going to take you a while to understand okay that's okay no shame in that at all. First time you drove the car, you don't need to drive it fast. That's all right. Right? Yes. Put the tractor in the backfield, let the bush hog down, and put it in granny gear and turn them loose. Right?

You can't mess nothing up. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Just go slow. All right? Now, so go to DaveRamsey.com, click on SmartVestor Pro, put in the information. It'll drop down a list of the pros in your area. You can interview as many of them as you want,

and then you select the one that you like the best and your mom likes the best. And go with the way your mom, she needs to use words like, I like that guy. He feels safe. The way her spirit reacts to the person is going to be a really good indicator. Does that make sense? Yes, yes, it does. And that's not so that you trust them to do stuff blindly.

It's you trust them to teach you. The last step, after go slow and don't put money in anything you don't understand, the last step is with all financial people, especially in a situation like this where you feel inept because you are, you are looking not for a salesperson. You are looking for a teacher. They have to have the heart of a teacher. And you will know you have met with a teacher

if after you leave their office you have learned something. Gotcha. Now, I would suggest that you roll those 401K and the pension into a simple money market account with SmartVestor Pro. That's just a savings account like a bank. It's going to pay almost nothing, like 1%. They suck. But they're 100% safe, and it's just like opening a bank account. You can do that that you already understand that

right then park your emotions and give your mom a little time to grieve this is really fresh and then have another meeting with the smart vestor pro and another meeting with smart vestor pro and another meeting with smart vestor pro Pro. And sometime around September, you will, A, have learned enough, and B, have given yourself time to cry enough that your brain is no longer in a fog and you can begin the investing process and moving some of it into mutual funds, okay? Got you. But you need to learn about it and you need to have a clear mind. And no one loses.

Your mom and dad were married a long time. Yes. He was a good provider. He no one loses. Your mom and dad were married a long time. Yes. He was a good provider. He cared for him. Yeah. Cared for you guys. And, you know, it's just your brain, your mama's brain for sure, yours too, but your mama's even more so, is in a fog of grief right now.

And that's not when you make $700,000 decisions. Got you. You just put in a savings account over at that SmartVestor Pro, get out of that company. Get away from them. Just park it there. Give yourself time to breathe. John?

Yeah, and make sure most sons want to go in and fix everything. That's the way they're going to honor their dad. I want you to also make sure you take time to grieve, too. Make sure you've got some buddies you can talk to. Make sure you've got some people in your life that you can sit down and just say, I miss my old man and this sucks, and that you can cry as well. I'm so sorry

you guys are going through this, but those are your steps. Go slow. Don't put money in things you don't understand. And always hire financial people with the heart of a teacher. Those are your three rules. The very last thing Christmas should give you is stress.

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It's an 84-page quick read. We're doing these books, a few of them here or there, that are just a quick read for you. In other words, it's not a thick book. Probably most people read it in one evening, particularly if you're concerned about the subject. So, Redefining Anxiety. It's $10 at DaveRamsey.com. What it is, speaking of anxiety, what it's not, and how to get your life back. It is not a death sentence.

Nope. It's not a forever thing. It's not chronic pain. No, it's actually a good thing. Right. Whoa. There's not a forever thing. It's not chronic pain. No, it's actually a good thing. Right. Whoa. There's a teaser. It's a good thing.

It lets us know things are going on. There's a teaser. So our last caller, you and I, and a bunch of you riding around in your car, we're thinking about that one going into the break. Dad passes away at 69, leaves $750,000 to mom. Plus a pension. Plus a pension. And paid for house.

And had done a really good job. And now his son and mom are trying to figure out how to invest and what to do. That guy did a great job. That's a legacy. Yep. That's a legacy. Yep. That's a legacy. The first thing when we hung up the phone, went to break, the first thought in my mind was, I hope I set my wife up like that.

That's the goal, right? I know I'm not going to be here. I hope that that's the conversation they're having, her and my son. Yeah, I mean, you know what the conversation normally is, is how do we pay for the funeral? Dave, I've sat with so many, I can't even count them, how many people I've sat with who have lost their spouse, and they're looking at me in the eyes, and there's this particular look, and they say the words, I don't know what to do. And I'm sitting there, it's the middle of the night, and I don't know what to tell you, because I don't know what I would do either. I don't have to manufacture $8,000 for a funeral. What do I do? I don't know where to tell you. Because I don't know what I would do either. You know what I mean?

I don't manufacture $8,000 for a funeral. I don't know where it's going to come from. Wow. Because I YOLO'd my life away. You only live once. Thank God it's Friday. Oh, God, it's Monday. You can't take it with you.

And you freaking child, you immature little brat, you selfish individual, and you have absolutely no legacy because of it. None. I mean, one definition of maturity is learning to delay pleasure. Live like no one else so later you can live and give like no one else. It doesn't say you don't have a life. I have had a wonderful life. I've done anything I wanted to do, and I've completely set my family up.

Those aren't mutually exclusive. They don't have to be. Right. It doesn't have to be, you know, I live in a cave, collect Lent, and only come out on my family up. Right. Those aren't mutually exclusive. They don't have to be. Right. It doesn't have to be, you know, I live in a cave, click Lent, and only come out on triple coupon Thursday. Right. I don't have a life at all, and that's the only way you build wealth. That is not how most people build wealth.

Most people build wealth while they're having a good life. They just paid attention. Pay attention. And there's this consumer mentality for kids, especially. We've got to buy our kids this, buy our kids that. The new Xbox just came out, and it's $111 million. There's another Xbox? Yeah, PlayStation, whatever it is.

Can I tell you what happened last night? My wife said, hey, John, our daughter Josephine, she's going to be five here in the next couple weeks. She just needs you. And I know what that means. So I went and found Josephine and said, I challenge you. And her eyes got real big and excited. And she has made this sword out of the inside of a, like a presence wrapper, you know, like a wrapping paper. Oh, yeah.

And we had a sword fight for about an hour to where I'm so sore today. Those things always break over. Oh, they, though, yeah. And we had a sword fight for about an hour to where I'm so sore today. Don't things always break over? Oh, they were broken. She was hitting and it was incredible. Then you find out she put a broomstick inside it. Yeah, that's right. Beat her dad to death. It cost no money.

We had a great hour together. Bedtime was much better. This morning was better. And so you're talking about what's legacy? That we bought another Wittley D box or we had some time to go fishing and I put some money in retirement. I was able to save. I was able to do these things that when, not if, but when it happens, when I just suddenly pass away, that my wife and my son and my daughter are saying, how are we going to invest this money, not what are we going to do?

A godly man leaves an inheritance to his children's children proverb says and you know so it is a different grieving process when there is a pile of money there money does not make them come back i trade all the money just to have him back i understand you don't get to make that trade these aren't't trades you can make. So it's not an option. It's not one or the other. That's not how this works. It's just saying money gives you margin. You have room to grieve. You cannot do enough crying when you immediately have to go to work to keep the lights on.

Yep. I mean, tomorrow morning you've got to go to work. When your 65-year-old mom has to go find a job. Tomorrow morning. Right. After he died yesterday. When your 65-year-old mom has to go find a job. Tomorrow morning. Right. After he died yesterday. That's right. Because there's no money for the light bill. Yep.

I mean, this is where people are. This is where a lot of people are, Dave. And no one planned to be there at all. But they didn't plan not to be there. I know. That's exactly where I was going. The ones that aren't there planned to not be there. That's right.

That's exactly right. I just want people listening to this as you're driving or mowing the yard or walking around, wherever you're doing, I'm telling you, I've looked in the eyes of countless people who have said the words, I don't know what to do. And don't let that be your family legacy. And what they really mean is not only do I not know how to process this grief that i'm this broken heart that i have right now due to losing this person but they're also saying i don't even know how i'm gonna bury them i don't know where their papers are at their job i don't know where our bills are because we haven't communicated

in 15 or 20 or 30 or 40 years. I just don't know what to do. And that's about having legacy conversations. That's about having a will. That's about all that stuff, Dave. And it distills down to one word, intentionality. Yep. Just that one word. Be intentional.

So, Dad, in the last call, is a hero. He is a hero. He did a great job. If I was going to coach him up, and you're him out there that is listening, you haven't died yet. That means you're listening, right? I would add a couple things to his plan. Mom's clueless. That's right.

He shouldn't have left Mom clueless. Mom and him should have been meeting with the investment counselor and saying, here's what happens. And let me just tell you, that's what Sharon Ramsey does. She knows she's going to – the first call is going to be to the Smart Investor Pro. The second one will be the coroner. Right? I mean, she knows exactly where her bread is buttered, right? They make podcast series out of these situations, Dave. Yeah, that's really what's going to happen.

Yeah. And, you know she is uh not an investment professional i am right but she has enough understanding and she knows exactly who to talk to yep and so she doesn't have to have this oh my god i have this money and i'm scared by the money right moment and so one thing you can add to that last hero's story is I'd like for him to have trained mom and had the counselor, the coach, the advisor, the SmartVestor Pro in mom's corner already where they didn't call Dave Ramsey, didn't need me, didn't call Dr. Deloney because he didn't need you, had that dialed in and just pick up the phone, call that SmartVestor Pro because this is what we've talked about for the last 10 years as we've been doing our investing there.

And we talked about mutual funds and we talked about we don't do these and we do do these. And here's how you pick a mutual fund and the very basics of investing where you have a basic rudimentary understanding. You don't have to have an MBA in finance. Right. And my wife was a full-time mom for 36 years now. You know, so she's not an investment professional. Right. She's very intelligent, very capable of understanding the concepts and does. Have you had this conversation with your kids?

Oh, yeah. As well? Yeah. That's a great gift that my dad gave me was sitting down saying here's where stuff is here's where the box is where all my stuff goes um if something happens to me and jaron together they know exactly which drawer that's right i've got the drawer at the house we call it the legacy drawer it's where everything is every piece of paper every all the the will, the trusts, the legal documents on the properties. And we go over that once a year and have a little meeting with everybody.

Ours is a wee bit complicated. Of course. But you can. My family's this simple. All you've got to do is just say, here's what to do. And here's how to do it. And then that adds yet another level of peace. $750,000 adds a level of peace.

Knowledge adds another level of peace. That's what I want you people to do. I want you to love your family well with being diligent in these things. This is The Dave Ramsey Personality, author of the best-selling book, Redefining Anxiety, What It Is, What It's Not, How to Get Your Life Back, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. William is in Wilmington, North Carolina. Hi, William.

How are you? I'm good. I've been listening to you for a little bit, and I guess I'm the opposite. I felt like your last little rant is probably me, unfortunately. I make about 100K. I just recently bought a house. So I've been renting for like seven years or eight years since the divorce.

And I just, I have three boys and I don't know where to start, to be honest with you, about somehow budgeting. Because it always seems like I don't have any money. So I don't know where to start. I'm not familiar with the program. And it's a little overwhelming.

That's fair. That's fair. How old are you, man? I'm 49. The subject money is so big and so complicated, it's like the old African proverb, how do you eat an elephant? It's so big. Exactly.

Where do I start? And the answer is a bite at a time. The good news for you is that from 30 years of not only doing this ourselves but teaching other people to do it uh we have a map through the bites and what to do and uh we call them the baby steps and um and there's nuances and sidebars and rabbit holes you can go down but basically there's seven steps that you'll go through between where you are today and becoming very wealthy. And they're very clear and very easy to understand. That's good news.

Bad news is they're easy to understand, but they're hard to do because it's about controlling the guy in your mirror. And I don't know about you, William, but he's my problem. He's my problem. If I can get that guy to behave, he can do a lot of stuff, right? Be skinny and rich. Yes, sir. And so, you know, that's the deal. So that's the thing is personal finance is 80% behavior.

It's only 20% head knowledge. So I can walk you through the basics. The first thing I want you to do is I'm going to put you into Ramsey Plus for a year, which includes our class, Financial Peace University. It includes Ask a Coach. It includes a tracker through the baby steps, and it includes the world's best budgeting app called EveryDollar. And that's where you're going to start.

You're going to start with a budget. Okay? Now, a budget is not a theory. Yes, sir. A budget's not a theory. It's the map to the party. And if you don't follow the map to the party, you don't get to the party. Right?

So you can't make up your own freaking map. You can't turn left on the wrong exit and drive 100 miles. You will not get to the party. So you have to... Remember when you were a little kid and you used to say, you're not the boss of me? Yes, sir. The budget is not the boss of me? Yes, sir. The budget is not the boss of you until you get it done.

Once you've designed it and told your money what to do, then it's the boss of you. You told it what to do and you built it, now you've got to stick to it is the point. So all a budget is is every dollar, that's why we call the budgeting app EveryDollar. EveryDollar has an assignment, EveryDollar. Every dollar has an assignment. Every dollar has a name. And when $100,000 is given a name, an assignment each time, and you get to decide. You can decide, I want to blow $50,000 of it. You can do that.

But at least you did it on purpose this time. You're not going to do that. Right. But, you know, at least you're doing something on purpose. Right now, this is all happening to you you i want you to happen to it so that's what the budget does and when you lay out and you say this is my take-home pay and i've got two checks this month and i'm going to have this much money in my account in this calendar month of january 2021 and you lay that down on paper and then you assign every one of those dollars you are going to have two experiences number one you're going to feel like you got a raise number two you're

not going to be able to sit down for a week because you're going to be kicking your own butt on where that money's been going all these years right well there's only the only one thing about budgeting which is that i'm commissioned only so i don't matter i don't even know you do know you do know what january looks like no not yet well you do you get paid one day after you make the sale no sir it's um it's it's usually uh two weeks after the sale okay then you have a pretty good idea what january is going to look like by the end of December. Right.

We know what half of it's going to look like, and you also know what your pipeline looks like. Right. You're not going to be that far off. So you can still do it. We'll show you how to do all that. I've never had a steady income. It's always been going up. So once you've got your budget going, you're making your money behave,

you're going to feel like you've got a raise.'re making your money behave you're going to feel like you got a raise then the second thing is is we're going to walk you up the baby steps and that says any money i find in the budget what do i do with it the first thing is you're going to save a thousand dollars the second thing is we're going to list your debt smallest largest and get you out of debt everything but the house third thing is we're going to build an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses and then once that's done then you're going to go ahead and start putting 15 of your income away for retirement. If you are currently doing retirement, you're going to temporarily stop it until you accomplish those first three goals.

And John, there's such power in a clear path. There's always a power in a clear path. And when you find yourself at 49 and you're making good money and you're coming off a divorce and you got three little boys, that's when the budget, following that path, a series of little wins, can start to bring your whole life into focus, right? And you can start cleaning up a lot of that, as you said, that mess that begins in the mirror. Yeah. Just by following a small plan. William, there's something that happens when you say, I could never do this.

I don't see a way. There's zero energy in that. It makes you tired when you say that. Your voice kind of sounded tired. Sounds broken. Exhausted, kind of. Yeah. Like hopeless.

Right. But then what happens is when you can actually say gosh if i did this and this and then i'd be there and then i'd be there and you start to see it yeah and hope you start to see hope it's yellow brick road each one lights up as you walk right every time you take a step follow the yellow brick road yeah i mean there you go man so i'm mayor munchkin here dude i'm gonna walk you through this right and um you know that that's the that is the exact way it works. The proverb says, hope deferred makes the heart sick. But when desire comes, it's the tree of life.

There you go. And when you can see the finish line, I run half marathons. When I run a half marathon, I can see the finish line. After running for two hours, an hour and 45 minutes, I can see the finish line. You still have enough in your tank to sprint. You off that's right it's crazy and how providential is this this young man calls and got to be on the on the line listening to another son yeah yeah talk about my 70 year old father left us this yeah and so dude you know you got this 30 years and you're the 20 years you're that guy make it happen you're that guy and you can be in a completely different setting and you hold

on we're going to give you ramsey plus for a year free as merry christmas and you go do everything in that change your legacy brother do everything that we say to do don't change it don't fix the system it's not broken when we say do it you go do change it. Don't fix the system. It's not broken. When we say do it, you go do it and you will have an incredible experience and an incredible result. Maybe step one's

$1,000 in the bank. Stop all investing until you get that. Some people that make $100,000 a year have never had $1,000 in the bank. They don't even know

what that feels like. It's all gone through every month. That's right. It just goes straight through. Just in and back out out only the names are changed to protect the innocent what's the payments can i afford the payments yeah it just goes straight through it's just a cycle right feel like a rat in the wheel and i've had people tear up that make eighty thousand dollars a year and go i can't this is so weird i feel so it's a thousand dollars why am i emotional because you've never had never had it yeah you've never it's always controlled you you've never controlled it and when they sit down

and go okay i got a thousand dollars now what well you list your debts smallest to largest you pay minimum payments on everything but the little one you sell so much stuff the kids think they're next you get those stupid butt credit cards out and you have plastic surgery tonight you chop every one of them up and you never again borrow money. And bring those three boys and let them watch you. To get them to help you cut the cards up. Cut them up. Let the legacy change today.

Let the transition start today. Light some candles and have a ceremony. That's right. We're having a Plastic Surgery party! Tonight, put an end to this crap and get your life back. This is the Dave Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com.

They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. It means even if you mismeasure, you pick the wrong color, they'll remake your blinds for free. You get free samples, free shipping. And with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use the promo code Ramsey to get the best deal. All right. Today's question comes from Anthony in Minnesota. Anthony writes, I've been saving money without my wife knowing.

Uh-oh. I've been taking more out of my paycheck to put into my retirement account, and I also have been taking $65 a paycheck and putting it into an online investing platform for another savings account. I know this isn't right, but I feel as if it is the only way to save. I want to more aggressively pay down debt, but my wife thinks debt is normal. I can't convince her to be more frugal, and I know we should pay off debt with this money, but I'm afraid that once I do, that we will just get back into debt. I'm lying to my wife to attempt to provide, and it hurts.

What should I do? Stop lying. All right? to provide and it hurts what should i do stop lying all right that's why you got two doctoral degrees right there stop lying um finding yourself in a challenge and lying to get around that challenge takes that challenge and sets it on fire so the first thing you got to do is stop lying and so i completely agree i mean and he's he agrees yeah he knows he knows he knows but so tell him what he should do man what he should do this is not a tolerable situation no and this is not a money situation this is something that's deeper than this if he thinks he's having to lie to protect his wife, if he's having to go behind her back in multiple different ways,

then they've got bigger challenges in their marriage. And this type of activity lets me think that he thinks it's okay, or not okay, but he feels like he has to lie in other areas, and that she may be hiding stuff. And so at the end of the day, everybody's got to sit down and probably at this point have a mediator, whether it's a marriage counselor or a pastor or a friend that they trust. And him and his wife need to have a, what I would say, a truth-telling session. They need to get somewhere where they can be honest with one another and do a clinical

blood work on their marriage. How are they doing? Are they doing okay? They're not doing okay. They're not. But they need to put all cards on the table. How are they doing? Are they doing okay? They're not doing okay. They're not. But they need to put all cards on the table. How are we doing? And then they've got to move into,

I can't continue to be a part of a relationship where you don't care about our future. I can't be in a relationship with you where you're lying to me and hiding money from me. And everybody's got to come together. And they are not even ready to build the future together because the foundation of this thing is so cracked. Over the years when I've been in these situations

and someone sitting in my office, not as a PhD in counseling, but as just a guy who's helping them with their money, I often find that it's almost like I want to give this guy a syringe with Red Bull in it, because he, instead of being aggressive enough in the relationship to cause a crisis in the relationship, have a fit. We say have a duck fit, right? You know, I mean, just flopping around on the floor, create a crisis, be aggressive enough to go, dadgummit, this is not okay. And you don't have to be mean or nasty,

but this idea that the passivity that has caused him to lie, as opposed to being aggressive and just stand up in her face and say, no. No more. No. Right. And if you don't think yes, then we're going to go see a marriage counselor because, no, we're not living like this. Right. then we're going to go see a marriage counselor because, no, we're not living like this. We're not going to live broke to broke to broke and in debt our whole lives just because you want to whine. No.

Or you just want to spend. Or whatever it is. Right. You know, he just will not face her down. And I just want to run down to Walmart on aisle four and pick him up a backbone. So, dude, install it. Well, the challenge with the backbone is. Because he's hiding out of cowardice rather than courage.

But you have to have an or what. What happens if. And somehow he romanticized his cowardice as if he's trying to take care of his family. With deception, right? He romanticized, oh, I'm doing this for the good of my family. Because you're a wuss, You've got to have hard conversations. But you also have to have an or what moment. So what if she says, if you choose to get out of debt, I'm out.

This tells me Anthony is just punting that inevitable situation that's going to blow up at some point. So have the conversation. Here's the thing. She's not going to. No, she's not. She yearns for somebody to look her in the eyes and go, we're going to do this, and we're going to win. We're going to do it today. And we're going to win.

Right. Nobody has ever made her believe that you can win. And maybe, just maybe, it's her husband's job in this case. Not maybe, for sure. You know, I mean, I'm being sarcastic, right? Of course. But I mean, dude, step up. Man up.

Woman up. Woman, my husband, I have to hide from him because he's a little boy, and he wants to spend all his money on a lunchroom, and I have to give him money. He's not your son. He's your husband. Look him in the eye and tell him to man up. No more. Right.

You know? So there is something about this kind of deception that has a passivity to it versus being proactive and aggressive to actually get to the problem in the relationship because the relationship's the problem not the money that's exactly right just it's just a it's a red flashing light saying danger will robinson this thing's going down. Right. Yeah. Gosh, we're going to have to go back and get Lost in Space clips.

Because there's a whole generation that does not know what the robot looks like. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. With those hands. Danger, Will Robinson. If you don't know, Google it. That's right. And then he'd always get unplugged. Every Lost in Space episode, right? But to everyone out there,

if they are helping their marriage by hiding or lying or stealing or cheating, you're not. You're being a wuss. You're delaying the inevitable. Because you're not facing reality. Because you didn't have the courage to cause a problem, you're causing a bigger problem. That's right.

In the nerd world, they call it one down, where instead of causing a scene on top, I'm just going to gently drag this boat from underwater. I'm going to pull the whole thing down. It's going to take a long time, and it's the one down power move. I can't win up here. I am not going to head on up here. So I'm just going to gently be an anchor and pull this whole thing down slowly drowned us oh my gosh right and that's what hiding and

slipping around the corners and and got this account in that account and man you're gonna slowly drown i'd rather see the thing go down in flames because you went out swinging right yeah i put all the cards on the table. I brought a friend. I brought a pastor. I brought a marriage counselor. This is what this is versus... As for me and my house, this is the way it's going to be. This is the way it's going to be.

The interesting thing is that people who are struggling with hope, who don't believe that you can win, when you declare with courage that we're going to do what it takes to win, they are so thankful for that. When your teenager doesn't believe that they can make it, and you declare with courage,

we're going to do whatever it takes by God for you to learn to do this. That's right. It's leadership. We're going to get tutors. We're going to're gonna work until midnight i'm gonna stay up with you we're gonna have calluses on our hands and on our brain we're getting this crap done that's right and you're gonna win and you are not going down in flames on my watch you're gonna turn the electronics off you're gonna stop x you're gonna stop y right it's not just affirmative you gotta stop you gotta change your life too right we're going to do the thing what it takes for us to win what has to be true we're gonna make a list of those things we're going to turn off that turn on that that's right and

we're going and that that kid who is depressed and hopeless and looking down and and rebellious and everything else is just going to go thank god somebody cares me enough to bust me in the mouth metaphorically and cause this to happen and that's, I've seen that in leadership inside these walls in this business. I've seen that in families. I've seen it everywhere else. You have to have the courage to cause a scene. Which in my head is you've got to turn the lights on, right? Yeah.

My friend Seth Jordan says cause a ruckus. Cause a ruckus. Cause a ruckus. No more. You know, and do it in the marketplace. Go make a ruckus in the marketplace. That's good stuff. Very good stuff. Stop lying, and do it in the marketplace. Go make a ruckus in the marketplace. That's good stuff. Very good stuff.

Stop lying, Anthony. Yeah. That's it, right? Cause a ruckus. A lot of education to say stop lying, cause a ruckus. Cause a ruckus. Love it. So that you don't have to lie anymore.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but if you heard about an event, product, or service and didn't have a chance to write it down, don't worry. We list everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast show notes or head to DaveRamsey.com. Thanks for listening.