The Ramsey Show - App - Your Husband Is Acting Like a Selfish Five-Year-Old! (Hour 3)

Episode Date: May 25, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss:  "My husband spent $2k on golf clubs behind my back", Dealing with a gambling addiction, Budgeting for meals when traveling for work. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Join a Personality-led FPU class. Click here! Enter The Ramsey Cash Giveaway for a chance at $3,000! https://bit.ly/TRSgvwy Shop our bestsellers during the $10 Sale! https://bit.ly/TRS10Sale Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Interested in advertising on The Ramsey Show? https://ter.li/s64ye3 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving, and storage studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. He is the number one best-selling book of Own Your Past, Change Your Future, and also the host of the Dr. John Deloney Show on the Ramsey Network.

It's a very popular podcast. We're talking about your life and your money. The phone number, 888-825-5225. Rebecca is with in Louisville hi Rebecca welcome to the Ramsey show hi Dave how are you great what's up um I really really would love your advice um my husband I recently just found out that he committed what you call financial infidelity and I i don't know honestly what to do at this point okay so he's been lying to you about money about what yes because he didn't tell me that he was spending it okay what did he spend it on what how much he spent about two grand on his credit card for like just stupid stuff like sports equipment, hunting equipment, and like golf clubs.

Okay. And it's a big deal because we're on baby step number two. And we're trying very hard to get out of debt right now. And we just paid off his credit card this month. And I just can't believe that he just did that and i never would have found out if i hadn't gone and checked the amazon receipts do those receipts match up you didn't notice uh golf clubs in the house well that was how i found out i came home from work and i saw a huge, and I saw that there was golf clubs in the box,

and then I was like, what the heck is this? So he's not really good at lying. No, he's not. And listen, when you're saying that we are working so hard to get out of debt, you're not accurate. You are. He is not. He is living his best life.

I know. We stick to the, well, I stick to the budget, and we're going through Financial Peace University. We got married six months ago, and that was when we really found, Dave, like your book, Total Money Makeover. I read it in like a day, and he's still halfway through the book and we

watched Financial Peace University and he tries to fast forward through half of it. And I mean, your name unfortunately is now a cuss word in our house and I never meant for that to happen, so I'm sorry. Dave can handle it. Let's get beneath that. There's other things that have happened in this last six months that are tearing you up what else i just feel like he is like like i just feel like the trust has been broken and i feel like he's really angry and going through something and whenever i try to talk to him about it like he gets angry again and defensive and i just usually ends up in him yelling and huffing and puffing and I I don't know like I thought I mean most of the time are really good

except like whenever he just gets mad and I don't know if it's the shame because all the debt is from him I think it's like I'm confident there's shame there, but there's something different. And that is he didn't fully understand how much his life would change when his world went from all about whatever he wants, whenever he wants it to building a new life with somebody else that we are going to both sacrifice for. And this is called being an adult. It's called being a grown up. It's called having character. He doesn't have that. He's a child trapped in a man's body. They got a credit card that can just buy whatever he wants.

And he can keep his wife happy by letting her run around with her little plan while he goes and buys whatever he wants. Yeah. I asked him why he did it, and he said because he felt like he deserved it there you go that's the child's entitlement and so the the challenge i hear folks make at this stage is you want to make it about the money and i want you to hear me say there are bigger fractures in in the foundation of your marriage that need to be addressed you think i can save it a hundred percent i have not a doubt in my mind no i don't think you can y'all can i think he can and you can together y'all can yeah but you can't

you've been trying to fix everything by yourself so far money you know to the counseling couple counseling i've asked him before in the past. Well, then go without him. Go without him. Go without him. I'm going to counseling to figure out if this marriage can be saved. I wish you would go with me. But if you won't, I'm going anyway.

And then your counselor will give you words and help you work through the decisions of whether this makes it or not but you cannot by yourself make a marriage that thus the definition of a marriage right i want you to remember this on the same page i want you to remember this you're not on the same page on anything nothing yeah behavior is a language and if you say what dave said verbatim i'm going to see if our marriage can be saved i hope you'll go i hope you'll go with me and he goes nah i'm going golfing behavior is a language he is telling you loud and clear what he thinks he's done that's what that means no but go but go anyway go anyway of course maybe your counselor can give you

some if you've got a good therapist that has a backbone that can uh give you language to begin to draw this draw him into a uh a bigger and better dream uh of what this marriage can be or you know draw it to a close one of the two will happen because one of those two is going to happen anyway but all we're trying to do is give you the tools to do it with some wisdom and before there's a house and kids and the whole thing sideways and also let me give you a little bit of peace it is other than the sun coming up every day couples who have been recently married in the first six months experience whoa didn't expect that didn't see that now they don't experience outright lying all the time like you

are but every couple goes through six month hiccups like i didn't think this was going to be like this i didn't think it was going to feel like this and so let's let's um pretend he doesn't have the tools to he didn't know how to start how to be a grown-up and not act like a child great he needs to go to counseling and learn some tools because he doesn't know how yeah and you can model what that looks like by going this is childish and selfish behavior on this part i'm sorry that you got dragged in and sometimes women do that sometimes men do it at all ages it's not an age thing it's not a guy thing it's not a gal thing and i'm not even positive to be honest with you that he was lying to you i think he just

did whatever he wanted to do and it wasn't like he was sneaking around the golf clubs were put on your front porch so this isn't like he had some pattern of financial infidelity is when you have a pattern of lying that is a broken trust. And I don't think that I think the only trust that he was going to follow this plan was in your mind. I don't think this guy ever signed up for the trip you took him on. Well, I thought he was maybe lying because we have a budget and he has a budget of pocket money. And he put on there like well then he did lie to you on that he broke he broke his contract he said i'm not going to spend any more than x and i did whatever i wanted to do because as all five-year-olds say i deserved it

five-year-olds and congressmen. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you for joining us, America. This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney is my co-host today. If you're just listening to the show, trying to piece together what we teach, you could do that on your own. It's called Common Sense. Live on less than you make.

You can watch about 9,000 different YouTube things. By the way, there's been over a billion hours of our YouTube show watched. That's kind of crazy. A billion. Wow. That's just nuts. The downloads on the podcast are now over a billion. So, yeah, you can piece it together, or you could just do it the easy way

and go through Financial Peace University. You're going to spend more than Financial Peace University on a pizza in some places. So you need to check this out. And right now, Dr. John Dahlonekin, Coleman, George Camel, Eddie Cullen are all teaching Financial Peace University classes and still have openings. Rachel and Jade are teaching them, but theirs are well underway and closed. Hey, if you want to join mine, it's the last night. We've done two sessions.

It's incredible. It's a blast. Oh, cool. So join mine. I want to cross a certain threshold. So if you're on the fence, we've got eight lessons left. Join us, man. We're having a blast. All right. so you can be in dr john's class there you go fpu.com fpu.com or go to ramsey solutions.com and when you're signing up for fpu just uh message just let us know you want to be in the personality class dr john's class if you wanted to that kind

of thing chris is with us ch Chris is in Newport Beach, California. Hi, Chris. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hello. Thank you for having me. Sure. What's up? I was just calling because I have a gambling addiction,

and I don't know exactly how to stop it because I've tried, and I'm also worried because like I because I don't want it to affect my life obviously anymore wow that's scary man yeah tell me about it yeah um it started about like two years ago um I I noticed it so it was fine at first because you know I was winning and stuff and so I didn't think it was a problem. Then I noticed when I was losing, I was still doing it, and then it kind of got out of hand in bigger numbers. So it hasn't, like, ruined my life or anything yet, but I'm kind of afraid that, you know, the way it's going

and the way I can't stop it, I don't want it to ruin my life, you know? What are you playing? Yeah. It's kind of like every – the problem is mostly online because, like, you know? What are you playing? Yeah. It's kind of like every, the problem is mostly online because like you can access anything, but sports gambling to table games. What scared you recently

that made you pick up the phone and call? Did you have a big loss? I just, no, I just, I just, in the situation, I watch your show and in the situation I, I am in

right now, like I don't have like any debt or like I'm, I'm fine off right now with the amount of money I have, which is around $130,000, but I don't, I was calling to see if like there's a way or tips like to maybe stop it. Cause I don't want it to lose any of that. And also like, you know also affect my life poorly. How much have you lost? Probably about $20,000. How honest can I be with you?

Very honest. I don't think you're there yet. Okay. Because you want to do this and have it not affect you. No, I want to not do it. No, no, no. You want to stop gambling but you don't want it to impact your life and if you want to truly stop an addictive behavior like gambling you're gonna have to change everything you're gonna have to go all in and i don't hear that yet i took a call you can

google it and find it on my show on the dr john deloney show where i sat with somebody for a while and you can hear in the first 30 seconds that kid is so done so let me tell you you cannot absolutely cannot do this by yourself you can't flex through it you can't white knuckle it you can't just um you can't just do somersaults in your front yard and call it good. You're going to have to reach out to somebody and say, I need help. You're going to have to submit yourself to a plan and to a group, to people. So you need to get a counselor and you need to get in Gamblers Anonymous today. And you've got to unplug the internet.

It's going to require some radical action. You're going to have to get rid of your phone. You have to unplug your internet. You gamble on desktop or on your phone uh phone both phone oh phone okay all right yeah yeah just get rid of you know take everything off your phone except uh uh phone and email okay and let me back back up one thing when somebody tells me your smartphone down when they have a um when they're doing something that's an addictive behavior and the way i define addiction is it's hurting you and you keep doing it anyway i always want to ask what is going on in your life that this is the way your body has chosen to get through the day yeah uh i cause my i feel

like i do it i go to it whenever like bad things happen or things don't go my way so then that's like my mechanism to kind of ignore it be more specific what's a bad thing uh maybe like arguments with my girlfriend or like whatever. I don't know. Maybe a job I don't get or something bad happens or I have to, I don't know. I feel like I need to like get a win. Anytime I get a loss in any way you could think of, I'd try to get a win as in,

you know, go to gambling. So let me be super straightforward and clear with you. This will end in complete catastrophe. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Do you believe me? No, I believe you.

That's why. It's hard to believe when you're young and smart and you kind of figured it out and you got $130,000 in the bank. Uh-huh. This will end with you having nothing. No, I know. That's why I'm afraid because I've seen it and I've heard it, obviously, so I don't want that to happen. So you've got to go,

no pun intended, all in on getting well. Okay. So, are you going to contact gamblers anonymous today uh yeah i can for sure you're gonna take this off your phone today uh i'll try nope nope you're not ready okay call us when you owe forty thousand dollars and you've lost all 130 we're gonna tell you the exact same things, and you're going to hear it differently.

If you're not willing to take stuff off your phone and you're not willing to plug into Gamblers Anonymous, strip everything off but messages, messaging, texting, and email. And deleting all of your contacts. And no browser. No browser that you can search. And no apps. And no apps. Just take it off. You don't need a phone. You tell me if it it's not the only way have you been able to flex your way through it yet

no no and the problem that your body has decided is that the only way through it this discomfort is to do it more and then to do it more and then when you have your first, have you had a big loss yet? 20,000. No, I'm talking a big one. No, I think 2,000 was the most. Okay. Yeah, you haven't had a big one yet. Well, I don't want to. I know.

But you don't want to do the steps. I don't think you're going to call. Are you going to call? I don't think so. Yeah. I want you before the day is over to make a phone call and get connected to a group and go tomorrow morning. Skip work if you have to.

Whatever you got to do, man. Yeah. And clean that phone off as soon as you get off the air with us. And if you're not going to do that, Chris, you're just saying I'm not ready. You're verifying what John's telling you. And I want him to be wrong. He wants to be wrong. But you got to be ready.

Nobody can do this for you. And here's the thing. The two fastest growing addictions that are destroying people's lives right now, number one is online porn, number two is online gambling. We know that because we work with people with money problems, and 100% of addicts eventually have severe money problems and you can hear it my voice it frustrates me man i'm heartbroken because i just know where this heads i know where this leads every time it's it you're you know the 12 steppers say you have to

hit that hit bottom and everybody's got a different bottom is it a high bottom a low bottom and sometimes a low bottom is every it's scorched earth. You've lost everything, your job, all your relationships, all of your fiancés, your parents won't talk to you, and you have no money. That's a low bottom. You're homeless and in the streets. Sometimes a guy like this, though, gets scared and goes,

whoa, whoa. Yeah. And he makes the call. And that's a high bottom. Make the call. Yeah. High bottom is I lost 20 grand, and it woke me up, and here I sit in Gambler's Anonymous. We love you, Chris.

But my story is not as flamboyant as the ones that had a low bottom. That's okay. It's still your story. Yeah. This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage Paula's with us hey Paula how are you hey I'm doing fantastic thank you I'm so excited to be here well we're honored to have you where do you live I live in Oklahoma

City oh very cool welcome to Nashville thank you and how much debt have you paid off I paid off sixty three thousand dollars cool how long did this take two and a half years good for you Welcome to Nashville. Thank you. And how much debt have you paid off? I paid off $63,000. Cool. How long did this take? Two and a half years. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? Started at $35,000 and making about $70,000 now.

Cool. What do you do for a living? I am the Director of People and Culture for a child care corporation. Good, good. And what kind of debt was the $63,000? So it was mainly medical and IRS. All right yep whoa you owed the kgb money yes how did you owe the irs man so medical and irs yes sir so uh what happened two and a half years ago what was the uh wake-up call so the irs so the the wake-up call so it's my journey kind of started I started listening to you in 2011 my

middle son was at Oral Roberts University and he we were coming back from Nashville actually we I have lots of uh good friends that live here and he said mom you gotta listen to this guy named DJ Dave he's like DJ Dave he's the guy he said you gotta listen to him and so he was like you're gonna love me talks about money and I was like, so we listen to you on the way back. And for so long, you know, I was Dave ish like a lot of people. It wasn't it. It didn't seem like, you know, my life wasn't on fire. So, you know, and most of us don't really get going until, you know, something walks down our street.

You know what I'm saying? So anyway, so that kind of I had been listening to you for a long long time and then uh fast forward to 2016 um I was married for about 25 years and um pastor's wife stay-at-home mom and ended up uh independently owned and operated aka single and so I had gotten a divorce in 2016 and I just didn't know how to, I knew how to pay bills and spend money, but I did not know how to budget. And my son, Andrew, who he is fantastic with money. He's actually a financial planner and by trade.

And so he, I just told him, I said, Hey, Andrew, I said, can you help me, you know, show me how to budget? And he was, and he was and he said okay well mommy he said I told him I said this is when I get paid and what do I do with this this check and what do I do with this check you know and so he just walked me through that and you know and it's funny day because us Gen X people you know we you know we're you know we you talk a lot about powder butt syndrome and I agree with that but you know at this age you also have to be teachable yeah because if you can we should be you know if we can be teachable then you know we can learn something and my son

he told me he was like you got to fatten your purse you know from richest man in Babylon you know he was you know he told me how to do, but he just walked me through those steps. And, um, and so, um, so started, you know, still a listener, you know, mainly for entertainment purposes, because, you know, we, a lot of us do find you entertaining, you know, and, but the advice is amazing. Just, you know, it's just like you say, God's in grandma way of grandma's way of doing things. So in 2017, my grandson, my first grandson was born and I became a honey. And I started thinking about, you know, doing all the things with him that I did with, you know, my other kids and going to Disney and going to the beach and doing all those fun things. But I couldn't do it because I didn't have any money. So I was like, okay,

Jackson is one of my wives. And so, so that was, you know, that's kind of how I got started. And then Andrew and Casper, his wife now, they were sitting on my couch one day and they're watching Michael Todd, Relationship Goals. And I know Pastor Mike has given away FPU a couple of times, you know, recently and a couple of years ago. But anyway, they were watching it and he was talking about he was it was a relationship goal series, the original one. And he started talking about divorced people and single people. And he was like how you should go into your next. He said, start getting your bag now, get your money now, get your money right.

So when you do go into another relationship, you'll be ready for you'll be an asset and you'll bring something to the table you know with your next so I became my next why so so Jackson was my first why I became my next why and then um and then so I'm so I'm thought you know 2019 came along I said okay 2020 I to start. So I started in January 2020. Right. And, you know, and it was I heard you. I woke up one day in January and I literally heard your voice. They say, game on, baby, game on. And I just I was like, OK, this is it. I heard, you know, the voice of Dave, you know. And so so I started on that journey and just, you know, began to start shopping at Aldi's. Like Rachel said, I'd never been to an Aldi's. I had never, you know, done a lot of, you know.

So now that you've paid off $65,000 in debt, what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Consistency and community. You cannot do it by yourself. I joined a Facebook group. Like I said, I started shopping at all these. I started watching the podcast. I came to this.

I did pay the money and come to the smart conference last year when you guys introduced Jade. And so, you know, but just that community you've got, you know, the Bible says faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of god and it just does not work just for christians it is a principle so if you apply that principle it works in every area of your life it's like that

tapestry that you talk about how does it how does it feel to be free oh it's amazing. Was it worth it? Oh my gosh, yes. It's so worth it. Will you ever go back? No, sir. No, sir. I'm just speechless. I'm still stuck at the Gen Xer being coachable, man. I kind of froze there. That's so rare, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what'd you say? You said connection, community. Community, consistency. And coachability. I'll add a third one. And coachability. Yep, and, yeah. So what'd you say? You said connection, community. Community, consistency. And coachability. I'll add a third one. And coachability. Yep, and coachability.

Hey, let me just high five you for having, it's hard to go to the guy that used to wipe his butt. Yes. And used to powder his behind. Yes. And say, it's humbling to say. I thought that was better than the first one. I don't know what to do.

Right, right right that's scary right exactly good on you yeah it was scary it was good on you because most parents won't do that yeah yeah i had to i mean you have to somebody if if if you know somebody knows something you don't know you better find you better befriend them you know so um yeah i'm proud of you proud of you proud of you yeah you're a hero and you just ruined it for everybody who says i'm too old it's too late you just ruined it for them you were quite the opposite of a victim of divorce exactly exactly i think divorce was a victim of you took it down yes yes and my pastors were fantastic. Rodney and Shannon Fouts at North Church in Oklahoma City, Samson and Hope Vargis, they lead FPU. I never took it because I'm always on the road for work. I'm usually just home on the weekends. And then, of course, Pastor Mike and Natalie Todd, they gifted, you know, the online, everybody that, you know, and so I didn't, I never paid for fpu because i didn't want but when they gave it

i sure signed up and then when they gave it last year this year i signed up again too so very good incredible proud of you yeah very very very well thank you thank you hey we've got the baby steps millionaires book for you that's the next chapter in your story the total money makeover book for you to give away financial peace university membership for you to give away since you've already got two and um yeah we we want you to be able to be generous and pay it forward because lots of people are going to be inspired by you i am thank you way to go you're a hero so much i appreciate it amazing very very amazing good work thank you wow what a story all right paula from oklahoma city 63 000 paid off in two and a half years, making $35,000 to $70,000.

Man, she leaned into it. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. One, two, three, a debt-free scream. Yeah. There we go. This is how it's done. Thank you, Pastor Mike Todd.

Good stuff. Very well done. Very well done. That's going to get me through the weekend. I'm ready now. I'm ready now. I'm ready. This is The Ramsey Show.

Our scripture of the day, Proverbs 24, 33 and 34. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man. Winston Churchill said, I never worry about action, but only about inaction. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Dr. John Deloney is my co-host today. Joel is in Houston. Hi, Joel. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I travel about two weeks out of the month for my job and i was just wondering what's the

best way to kind of budget for that for meals i'm sorry oh for meals okay yeah i mean are are your expenses reimbursed or what so yeah i do get a per diem, a daily per diem. Depends on the location. Is the per diem for food and lodging or food, lodging, fuel? What's it for? Just for food. Only? Okay. Yes.

And how much is the per diem? It can range between 59 and above. Oh, it's different for different towns? Yes. It follows, I guess, the GSA, whatever that is. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, absolutely. So can you eat on what they provide? I do believe so.

I mean, it's probably going to be pretty limited in the options, but, you know, I mean, if I have to go cheap, I can go fast food. If I want to do like one meal expensive, I could probably do it. I'm confused at the question. What are you getting at? So I'm in baby step one, right? And I'm just trying to figure out what's the best way that I can save money while I'm out of town.

Okay. I don't think you're going to make money on this per diem. I can save money while I'm out of town. Okay. I don't think you're going to make money on this per diem. I think you're going to eat on it. The trick is to not lose money on this per diem, and that would be to – so your budget is no more than your per diem. Okay. That's your budget. So, I mean –

Yeah, if you can eat for free when you're on the road because you don't have to pay for the food they are paying for it then that should give you extra room in your overall budget because you're not having to pay for food on the day on the weeks and days that you travel and that should give you extra margin in your budget to be able to do your other stuff like move through your debt snowball and so forth yes to answer the question you were asking i i um especially in the past when i had a similar per diem um but even now i'll go to a grocery store and get and that's just some of that's just because

i'm a kind of a health nerd but i'll go to a grocery store and get certain foods and put them in my hotel how long you've been doing this how long have you been traveling? So it's a combination. I work from home, and then clients hire my company, then I come out and do, like, I'm an information security analyst. How long have you been doing this where you're on the road? So I've been doing this since about September 2021. Okay. And how old are you? I am 31. Okay I've traveled uh with

what we do with events and speaking and book tours and everything else for 35 years now okay and um I'm out uh some number of days almost every month uh and what my experience is is that when you're on the road you have to be very very very careful about discipline because you will you will say to yourself i'm tired i just got off an airplane i don't feel like screwing with this this hotel sucks so i deserve dot dot dot and you'll take you'll not only spend too much on the food but you'll eat the wrong kinds of food at the wrong time of day right in other words you'll eat two chocolate cakes at 9 30 at night and call that okay as a way to uh i might know somebody did that no i'm kidding i didn't do i didn't do two chocolate cakes but i have been known to eat half a box of donuts or whatever at

exactly the wrong time because you're you're mentally fatigued travel takes it out of you people that think travel is glamorous are people who don't do it there's actually some some research that says the the more tired you get with with traveling it it decreases your ability to make good choices which day the intentionality is so important the discipline yeah so set yourself up some systems that says i don't eat after this time of night i don't overspend my per diem under any circumstances, and I'm going to watch my caloric intake because a lot of people overbuy and eat at the wrong time of day and eat the wrong kinds of things, and they not only get themselves in a financial problem,

they get fat when they're traveling. And they don't sleep well. Right. And it messes up your sleep patterns and everything else because you're not sleeping well anyway. You're in a stupid hotel. And so, which is just, just you know there's fancy ones and there's not fancy ones and there's still a stupid hotel and so that that's the the problem you're in so that's uh just be careful

with that i've been doing it a long time and uh i've had this discussion with a lot of people who are road warriors and it's it's a real you uh you can really justify it because you're fatigued yeah and and so just be real careful to set some systems in place to make sure you're you're doing your exercise you're doing something where you're getting out in the sun you're doing something where your your your meals are on a reasonable schedule. And so what I'll do, like when I go to a town now, they'll have me booked all day long doing media, doing interviews, doing lunches with advertisers, whatever, all this kind of stuff all day long. And I review that itinerary before I leave and if there's not margin in it to where I eat when I'm supposed to eat at a reasonable pace we change the itinerary because I have to make that margin for myself or the road will destroy you I found a strange hack for myself is the moment I get to any new hotel as I put my stuff down even if it's 10 minutes and I go straight to the hotel gym and

there's something about doing something that just yeah reminds me this isn't a free-for-all we're still at work and works life still counts calories still count sleep still counts money still is real yeah it's what happens in vegas does not stay in vegas you will carry it home on your belt loops that's exactly you know it's it's just for real you got you just it's amazing all right It's just for real. It's amazing. All right, let's go to Cameron in Dallas. Hey, Cameron, right quick for our run out of time. What's up? Hi, Dave. Hi, John.

I just have a question real quick. I'm 23. Me and my husband are 23, and we're thinking about purchasing our first home. However, we were wondering if we need to build up our emergency fund a little bit more first. It needs to be three to six months of expenses and you need to be debt free plus your down payment. Yes we are completely debt free. We have enough of a down payment. We have about 10% down for our first home and we kind of have a little bit closer on the three month side. So we're just wondering if we need to go all the way up to six months don't have to

we don't require it um the reason you would would is if if there's something unstable that looks like a coming emergency like you know one of the jobs is unstable one of the jobs is self-employment and it's not going well one of the jobs is straight commission and it's not going well uh something like that if there's a reason that you think you've got something you know your car is barely limping along you're afraid it's about to go out yeah you may need to then but i mean if you don't see something and it's just generally a vague i like having more money around thing you don't have to if both of you have very stable predictable jobs and the cars are in decent shape you don't have to okay awesome thank you so much

that's why we say three to six months and so but if both of your you know new jobs unstable jobs self-employed jobs um straight commission jobs that kind of thing then yeah you probably do need the six month side and that's why we give that range but the more volatile your life is the more you would learn lean towards the six-month side for me it was a sleep tax i called it those extra two or three months for me just going to six months just let me be completely at peace ah okay it was it was worth hey i'd rather wait three months to buy a house and and let's crank this up then have that three and think, ooh. So it was an investment I made in my ability to put my head on the pillow.

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that either. But again, you don't need more than that, and you don't need less than that. So somewhere in that range, and you're in the safety zone, and past that, the difference between the two is a comfort zone thing. So good question. Well done, John. Good show today. That puts this hour of The Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's Dr. John Deloney.

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