The Ramsey Show - App - Your Husband Needs To Grow Up! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 23, 2021

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Thank you. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Christy Wright. I am a business coach and author, and I'm joined today by my good friend, career expert, and also author, Ken Coleman, and we are taking your calls. It's Friday. We're in a great mood, and we are here for you to answer your calls, whether it's about money, life, career, business, maybe just managing your time, because we've been talking about that a lot lately with my new book, Take Back Your Time Being Out. Whatever you need, we are here for you.

We're going to go to Joe in Arlington, Virginia. Hey, Joe, how are you? Hey, this is Joe. I'm calling in. I recently graduated college. I found a job, so I started working about a month ago. I also bought a car earlier in the end of December for $31,000. And right now, with the car prices going back up, it was brand new. I can sell it to CarMax for about the same price. And I was just wondering what your guys'

thoughts were about that. What do you make, Joe? I make about $85,000. Their loan is a 0% loan, so I was either thinking about just selling the car now and just taking back the decision that I made with about an $800 loss.

It's not a big deal to me at this moment, but I just wouldn't have a car. Or my other option would be to just keep paying the loan as low as possible because I know that's against what you guys say, but it's like a 0% loan. So I figured that with the $500 a month payments, I could potentially get a higher return from that money risk-free. So I was wondering what you were thinking. Debt's never risk-free. I can guarantee you that, Joe.

I think your first inclination to sell the car is absolutely dead on. Yes, sell the car. Do you have any savings? I have about $13,000 in my Roth IRA, and then I have about $10,000 in a brokerage, and I have probably like $2,000 in cash. Okay. Well, I mean, here's the thing. If you can use public transportation for a little bit to save up some cash,

maybe save up another couple thousand dollars, you can use $1,000 from your savings, a couple thousand that you save up in the next few months, hopefully, and then you can buy yourself a used car that'll get you around in the meantime, and then save up and pay cash as you upgrade your car. This is not something that you want to take out a loan for. Cars depreciate in value every single time,

even though the market's weird right now and used cars are hot right now because of manufacturing with COVID and all that, they still depreciate. They will continue to depreciate. And you can't afford a $31,000 car, Joe, even on a really good income. You can't afford that.

And no, 0% is not zero risk every single time. It's a bad idea. And so what we want you to do is just take out about $1,000 from your savings. Keep $1,000 in there, $1,000 from your savings. Save up another couple thousand and buy you something good used. Use public transportation in the meantime. Yeah, because in Arlington, I know that area well.

I mean, the metro is going to take him anywhere he probably can go, need to go in Arlington, Virginia. I mean, it's just like being in New York without a car. It's really a non-factor. Yeah. That's a no-brainer. Yeah. Sell the car, sell the car, sell the car.

All right. We're going to Ashley in Oklahoma City. Hey, Ashley, how are you? I am good. How are you? Good. What's going on? Well, earlier this year, my husband and I found out that my mother-in-law had taken credit cards and loans out in his name that he had no idea about.

What? We got our first mortgage, and we had asked her to buckle down and pay it. And she's not, I mean, she's giving us the minimum payment, but that's all we're getting. And anytime we try to talk to her about it, it's, oh, poor pitiful me. And I don't know what to do. Okay. Okay. Let's back up here. So first of all, first of all, playing the victim is a strategy. It's called manipulation. So I don't care if she's your mom, my mom, anybody's mom, doesn't matter that she's a sweet little mother-in-law or mother. That's manipulative. Incredibly. It's also theft. That was theft. Identity theft. So again, even if you're related, it doesn't change the

fact that it's illegal and not okay at all in any way. So, Ashley, I don't know if you do this or your husband does this. I would say he would need to do it, but you can tell me whether or not this is realistic. But there needs to be a conversation, a very different conversation that looks like this you pay it off or i'm turning you in for identity theft yes that is the conversation i've tried to push him to that but he seems to be taking it a little easy on her yeah it's his mom how much money are we talking about? The personal loan was $10,000 and then about another $4,000 or $5,000 in credit cards. And her excuse was, I did it to help you guys. Okay. Well, I've got to know more.

What do you mean she did it to help? What was it for? What was the money spent on that's supposed to help you? Nothing. Literally nothing. Okay. We are very self-sufficient we take care of ourselves okay your husband your husband needs to grow a pair it's time where's the husband where's

the dad in this situation just say it can just say he's on the road so he really he didn't realize this was going on but okay so so this is a family listen i hate that you're even calling um i hope you maybe maybe show your husband this call i'd like to speak to him for a moment what's his name his name's beau beau where are you beau okay so i'm going to talk to beau for a second and you can get today's youtube show and you can get it right to this point beau here's the deal man your wife's got more guts than you do, and your mom is in a very unhealthy place, and you're allowing it to happen,

and it is affecting your life and your marriage, and this needs to be dealt with. I think Christy's right. I go with her and say, Mom, Dad, fix it now. Pay it off now, or I'm turning you in. But you don't have the guts to do that bo and so here's what's going to happen because you're afraid to be a man and talk to mommy and tell her that what she did was wrong you're going to end up having such sick toxicity and

resentment toward her because this is never going to go away. And your dad has the same problem you have. Neither one of you, you or your dad, have got what it takes. You just don't because you'd have done something by now. And you need to grow a pair, both of you. Maybe you share the pair. And you talk and sit down and get this handled because this is bad. They need to fix it. And I think the time for talking is over ashley i'm sorry i i i'm sorry you had to call in the conversation needs to go like this pay it off by this date or we're turning you in and then when

that date comes turn her in and follow through this This is illegal and insanely manipulative. And the more you allow it to happen, the more it is on you. Don't let it happen. Fix it now. This is The Ramsey Show. Folks, listen up. I know some of y'all are putting off getting life insurance because rates went up, restrictions were added due to COVID,

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I'm Chrissy Wright, and joining me today is Ken Coleman. And according to last segment, I'm not the only one who's feisty on Friday. Just going to throw that out there. We are taking your calls, giving advice, and we got opinions. No shortage of those here. We are here for you. Give us a call, 888-825-5225. We are here to help you with your money decisions. But let's be honest, most of the time, it's not really just about money. There's a relationship issue at play. There's some other dynamic and we end up getting to the root issue

to help you in all areas of your life. Also, if you are in debt, speaking of money, and you know what it feels like to just feel like you're drowning in bills, you may feel like you're never going to get ahead. I know what that feels like. I remember. I remember making those payments when I was working my way out of debt. Here's the good news. It doesn't have to be that way. When you attack this debt like your life depends on it, it will take back your paycheck and start building the life that you want. And we're going to help you do just that with our class, Financial Peace University. In this class, you will learn our proven plan, step-by-step plan, that has helped millions pay off their debt fast.

But you'll never make the changes you need to pay off your debt unless you stick to a budget. That's why you also get the premium version of our budgeting tool called EveryDollar. And it's all only available with a Ramsey Plus membership. You can get ahead. You can become debt free. You can manage your money and feel in control. Start your free trial of Ramsey Plus and end this constant battle for your money. Just text TRIAL to 33789. That's TRIAL to 33789. Ken and I are answering your calls, 888-825-5225.

We're going to go to Daniel in Phoenix. Hey, Daniel, how are you? Hey, Christy. Hey, how can I help? Sure. Yeah, I'm just calling because my family and I, we just moved to Phoenix from Maui about like three or four months ago, and I just don't know what to do next. We're in baby step two, and when we're in Maui about like three or four months ago. And, um,

I just don't know what to do next. We're in baby step two. And when we're in Maui, you know, we, we paid off quite a bit of debt. I think close to like 37,000. And, and,

and, um, yeah, just moving to Phoenix. I took a really big, uh, pay cut. I'm in construction.

Um, I installed known in tile and I'm taking a pretty a pretty good pay cut, you know, like probably like a 40% pay cut. And it's just been really hard. I mean, we cash flowed the move and we haven't been creating any more debt. But even when we were living, you know, in Maui, I didn't really even want didn't, I didn't really even want to do, you know, betray that I'm in, you know, like long-term, but I just stuck it out. Uh, you know, we wanted to get gazelle and tents and pay off debt. And we did. And now it's like, now we're new in town. We have family here,

which is really cool, but I just, I'm just not feeling motivated. Um, just because of the pay cut and just because I know I don't want to do this forever. Sure. Well, before we dive into what you want to do, you still have plenty of motive. You should because you've still got some debt to pay off, and you've done such a great job. I mean, the amount of money that you've put towards the debt snowball is no –

that's not an easy thing to do, and you did it. And so your motivation right now is, I'm still in the middle of this thing. I've got to get out of it. But let's look further. A guy who's been doing tile and in a trade like that, so you've got a lot of time where you're kind of working on your own. You've got a lot of time to think. Am I right? Yeah, pretty much. So what have you thought about? working on your own. You've got a lot of time to think. Am I right? Yeah.

So what have you thought about? What would you even say, Ken, I'm not even sure I know how to get there. I've got some fear. I've got some doubt. But if I were to move all that and I knew I could succeed in it, what would you try? Not even commit the rest of your professional life to it, but what would you try? I've been thinking about I like being a technician, you know, just how I'm

a technician with like being an installer. And I just thought about the same thing, maybe like in the medical field. Yeah. But it just seems like, you know, I feel like I'm getting in the way of myself. Why? I'm afraid to, just because, you know, I'd have to go to school again for that. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't assume that.

Now, unless you're not telling me, when you say technician, be more specific, and then have you researched and found out that the only way to get in that field and do that is a degree, or the best way to get in that field and do that is with a degree? Answer those questions. You know, I've spent maybe like an hour total just, you know, looking up, you know, different jobs like in the medical field, and, you know, that doesn't require a whole lot of schooling. I've looked at maybe like, I think it's called like radiography, like MRI techs or like x-ray technicians. Okay.

And what's the answer? No. Is a degree the only way or the best way to get in those? I think eventually it is. I'm not too sure. I think there's like you can get certified. Yes. Okay.

So here's the deal. Let me just back this out of the details because I don't want to put you completely on the spot. You've given me enough here. So here's the deal. Let me just back this out of the details because I don't want to put you completely on the spot, and you've given me enough here. So here's the deal. You've got this technical talent, this mechanical making is what I would call it, this making talent, this imagination where you can lay tile and make it look great, and then the technician. You use the word technician, and that's really the way your brain works.

So there are a lot of things that you can do that you're good at and that you love. That's talent and passion. And so I think more than an hour is required. But I don't think it's a whole lot more time. But I think you've got to really allow yourself to wonder again like a child does when they come into this world. They ask hundreds of questions a day. Poor Christy's right in the middle of it, okay? With three kids under six, they just naturally ask questions.

You've got to get that curiosity back up to say, okay, the talent that I have, the type of work I like to do, the technical nature, the detailed nature, precision type work. You've outlined that. What are all the different things I can do? And you started the process.

Let's do it a little bit more. And then there's another step that I call clarify and verify. So here's what you've got to do. You've already identified some of those technical positions in medicine or in the healthcare field. I know you're new to town, but you've got family. You can find somebody who's doing that work and do coffee, a Zoom call, a phone call, and go back to high school or college like you're doing a term paper on that person's job

and ask them everything about it, how they got there, how they got qualified, what they like the most, what they like the least. You get the drill. And in clarifying what goes into getting there and what goes into doing the role, your heart will then verify either ding, ding, ding, or errr, and that's the process.

But you've got to find more options, and then once we figure that out, we go, okay, I know what I'd like to do. Now I have a good idea what it takes to get qualified, and we begin that process. So get your head up. You've got a lot to offer. You've just got to get yourself out there and pay attention and see what you could do and then choose and then get qualified, get connected while you're there in Phoenix.

You're going to begin to meet people, and then the opportunity will present itself. But this is not a scary path. Do you understand what I'm saying? Absolutely. Daniel, I've got one quick question before we let you go. You just sound discouraged. You just sound down. Because I know you can make these Google searches.

I know you can do this work Ken's telling you to do. But I'll be honest, I don't know if you're going to do it. What's going on? Why are you so down? Why are you so discouraged? I think, I mean, my wife, she started to work part-time. It's from home. We have a son. He's going to be 16 months soon. And it's just really stressful at the house like in terms of money i just feel like we're really close to the edge um with money and um it's just i just i feel like discouraged because we were we went from like thriving like in hawaii we're just you know paying off so much so much debt and we saved up a lot of money to move out here and cash flow that and then now

it's like we've slowly have bled through like our savings yeah i'm living here and um we just got so good at being developed pets like on the island that like our living expenses are actually a little bit more here yeah well here's the thing daniel you're doing the right thing but it feels like a step back because it is financially. It doesn't have to mean that you can't make these steps forward. You will when you do what Ken asks you to do. Also, stay on the line. Let's give you a free membership to Ramsey Plus for a year.

You will get constant encouragement and motivation that will fire you back up when you start to feel discouraged. Show you how to get a bigger shovel since you've had a step back. You're going to get back in the game. You just need a little gusto. You might need a little motivation. Reduce the stress at home. Do what Ken asked you to do. You got this. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm Christy Wright and joining me today is Coleman, and we are taking your calls about your life and your money. Give us a call, 888-825-5225, and we will answer your questions. And I'm so excited because Thomas and Cassie are here on our debt-free stage. How are you guys? Very good. How are you doing? Good.

Good. You are on the debt-free stage, which can only mean one thing. You are debt-free. Tell me, how much debt did you pay off? We paid off $198,256. Woo! That's a lot of money. What kind of debt was this? It was broken down into two car loans, one debt consolidation loan, and eight credit

cards. Oh, okay. How long did that take? 24 months. Oh, my goodness. All right. Woo! Okay. So, that's a did that take? 24 months. Oh, my goodness. All right. Okay, so that's a lot of money in 24 months. Y'all were busting it.

We were. What was your range of income during this time? We started at $130,000 and we finished at $166,000. All right. What happened? How'd you get that income up? I took a promotion at work and put that to the debt. Come on.

Yeah, there you go. That's how you get that shovel bigger. Good man. Awesome. Good night. Y'all are moving fast. Okay. So 24 months ago, what happened? Because that's $198,000. That's a lot of debt. What happened 24 months ago? So 24 months ago, my wife and I were scammed by a family friend. He opened up a business, had us co-sign for a car loan and co-sign for a credit card. And we didn't catch it until it was too late. He had already run up $25,000 in debt. And so we self-repoed the car and got rid of that and then said, we need to get out of debt.

Okay, so that's what started it. The scam is what, but you had other debt other than that. Correct. Yeah, we had previous debt going into it, but we figured we might as well just attack it and get rid of it. Yeah, yeah. That'll shake you. Yes. Nothing.

And like the previous caller that was on the show, we did actually turn it into law enforcement. Yeah. Because I'm a law enforcement officer, so. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, yeah. Sometimes that's, if they don't respond that's that's what

you've got to do exactly okay so you're a law enforcement officer i am okay what what else did you is that the only uh job you had during this time when you're paying off debt yep all right way to go that's awesome so now you've got it paid off how does it feel amazing that's great you actually get to keep your money when you're paid. I bet you feel like you've got a huge race. Oh, every day. Yeah. I actually enjoy going to work. Yeah.

There you go. It'll change how you do the work. Who were your biggest cheerleaders through this whole process? Our kids. Our kids, my parents, and then extended family members that are Ramsey. They run Financial Peace through their church up in Washington. Awesome. And you guys are from where? We're Financial Peace through their church up in Washington. Awesome. And you guys are from where?

We're from Rancho Cordova, California. Okay. So we're on an epic road trip. Yeah, you are? That's awesome. That is amazing. So what happens when you realize, hey, I've been basically defrauded and I'm in big trouble. Were you familiar with Financial Peace University?

Were you not familiar with the Ramsey Show, Ramsey Solution? I mean, how'd you get into this? Oh, I was definitely familiar with Financial Peace University? Were you not familiar with the Ramsey Show, Ramsey Solution? I mean, how'd you get into this? Oh, I was definitely familiar with Ramsey. I listened to him to and from work before I got into law enforcement. My wife had read the book and said, we need to get on board and we need to do this. And my parents are definitely Ramsey's solution, I guess, promoters. And they encouraged us to come down to the live event in San Diego for when he was talking about finances before this whole thing happened.

And so, you know, that was kind of what kick-started us to really move it into gear and, you know, get rid of it. Wow. So you had the debt.

You already had some of your own debt. Right. And then you knew about us. You knew about the Total Money Makeover. Been to a live event. But it was just this idea.

Correct. But getting scammed is what set you into action. Definitely. Okay. All right. This is going to light a fire under us to actually turn this thing around. 100%. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. What a story. I mean, hey, I hate that happened to you, but look where you are now because of it. So good for you for turning this thing around. All right, what would you say for everybody listening right now, and they are in your shoes of paying off that debt, they're going to work, working the extra jobs, working the extra hours, what's the secret?

What's the key to getting out of debt? Communication. Communication and then just weekly status check-ins with your spouse. Through this whole process, it's definitely brought my wife and I closer together in regards to just talking about finances, but also realizing that, as Dave says, a budget tells your money where to go instead of wondering where it went. And we realized, hey, we actually can pull more money out of the budget and put it here and put it there.

And the other thing is just figuring out want versus need. Yeah. I'm a spender by habit. Yeah. And so I had to curtail a lot of that and realize that I don't need it. You know, it's a desire and let's get rid of the debt and then we can deal with it. There you go. I'm curious. That's really interesting that you say that about status check-ins, Thomas. That's really interesting. I teach people to connect with their spouse weekly on their time and their calendar, but you're talking about with money and it's so important with both. What did that look like for you guys?

What was a status check-in? What did that look like on a weekly or monthly basis? You know, mainly it was just sitting around the dining room table and just saying, okay, where are we at? You know, do we have any extra money we can put towards this debt? You know, and just really getting that time

where we can just talk about it and not being afraid to have that conversation. Yeah. I know a lot of times spouses don't like to talk about finances because it leads to a whole negative thing. But we've actually leaned in on each other and said, OK, let's tackle this together as a family. Yeah.

It's amazing when you have a shared goal, how it can bring you closer as a team because you're high five and oh, we've got this extra amount, or, oh, we can cut spending here. And it gives you language to it, but also gives you this shared motivation to that finish line, and you guys are there. Well, y'all are amazing. Well done. Well done for knocking out. And in all fairness, we raided the kids' bank's account.

There you go. Oh, really? Yes. So I've got to ask you, this is a lot of money. It is. In 24 months. There had to be some major moments. Curious if you could share one of those.

And then was there also a moment in the journey where it's a slog, and then you felt like, okay, now we've got some real momentum, and emotionally you begin to see, okay, now we're hitting this ground running. Was there a moment like that? Well, when we repoed the car and turned that back in, we were still upside down 7,000 on it. And so, you know, we said, okay. You know, and it's just a matter of, you know, talking about it, not being afraid to talk about it.

It's tough. I mean, I'm not going to, yeah, $198,000 in two years is a lot of money. And, you know, yeah, you did, you know, Christmas was a little difficult, but we started financing for that and budgeting for that and saying, okay, we're going to take a little bit out of each paycheck and stuff like that.

We can't have no Christmas. You planned for it. You planned for it. It just changes your behavior. Well, it goes right into the budget. Okay, we're going to take this line item off. Okay, Christmas is done. Let's put that extra money towards the debt and keep plugging away at it.

Well, y'all are amazing. Well done. That's an incredible feat. And here you stand on the other side of it. Well done. Well, we have a copy of the Legacy Journey because that is definitely the next chapter in your journey. And we have a copy of the Total Money Makeover that you can give to someone else as a gift,

pay it forward, hopefully set them on this path as well. All right, y'all. We've got Thomas and Cassie with Tyler and Caitlin. Paid off $198,000 in 24 months, making a range of $130,000 to $166,000. Count it down for me. Let's hear a debt free scream three two one yes oh that's awesome ken that's a lot of money no almost two hundred thousand dollars in two years making 166 at the top at the top. Those are some major sacrifices,

but now here they are, completely debt-free, not a single payment to worry about. And that is just, I think with people listening right now, if you're listening right now and you have this mountain of debt, $100,000, $200,000,

it feels impossible when you're looking at the mountain. You know, I love a good running example. When I'm running a hill, I don't look at the top of the hill. I'm like, just get to that mailbox. Just get to that mailbox. Get to that fire hydrant. Get to that light post. Get to that tree. And if you can break it down, just like we teach in the debt snowball, break it down into the baby steps, into your debt snowball, and you just tackle it one step at a time,

you'll get there. You'll get to the top of that mountain. You'll get that debt paid off. You'll be calling into us doing your debt-free scream and you will never look back. I tell people all the time, the voice of debt is always the voice of regret. No one loves their debt like, oh, I love all these payments. When you get there, you'll never look back. You'll never go back. You'll never feel like that again. So, so, so cool. That's awesome. Thomas and Cassie, $198,000 in two years. Pretty impressive. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. I'm Christy Wright. Joining me today is Ken Coleman, and we are taking your calls.

888-825-5225. Had an awesome debt-free scream in the last segment. And now we are going to the phones. We've got Dionne in San Diego, California. Hey, Dionne, how are you? I'm great. How are you? Good. How can Ken and I help? I want to know, as a mother, should I be instructing my kids who are 18, 20, and 22 to get a credit card to build up their credit for themselves so that they can buy a home someday? Do you need to build up credit to buy a home someday? What are best practices? Well here's the thing Dionne it depends on who you ask because if you ask about anyone else anywhere they will say yes you need a credit score and you need a credit card and you need this. You can't do anything. And that's simply untrue. Is it the easier way that's culturally normal that everyone accepts?

Yeah, but we're not normal here. We're weird because we want people to live their lives debt-free. We were just talking to the couple that just did their debt-free scream and they were in Las Vegas and they printed, we're debt-free on M&Ms, and the person printing them at the M&M store said, is this true? She couldn't believe it. It's a weird way to live. It's also the better way to live, where you don't have debt. The good news is, Dion, is that you can, oh, Ken's going to show the M&Ms here.

Yeah, I mean, you mentioned it. I don't even know if they can zoom in or the guys down below will, but it says we are debt-free on the M&M. By the way, I'm going to eat it while you continue. It's Friday. We can do it real. That's fantastic. Dion, so here's the thing.

They taste better. Debt-free M&Ms taste better. Dion's like, will you please answer my question and stop munching? I have ADHD. I'm here for you. Listen, all you have to do is something called manual underwriting for a mortgage. Your kids, your adult children will be able to buy a house someday. And you can show proof of payment for like electricity bills from rental properties and other ways to show for if you need some type of proof of something to

rent an apartment or whatever. It might be a slightly more work in steps, but it's worth it to live your life debt free. The problem, Dionne, is that so many high school students, college students, and young adults, they, in the name of building credit, rack up tons and tons of debt. And they end up calling us in their late 20s asking how they can dig themselves out of this mess that they made.

And they didn't mean to. And it all started with a free T-shirt or a free pizza or I need to build my credit score. And they all end up a statistic in the most indebted generation in the entire history of the world. pizza or I need to build my credit score. And they all end up a statistic in this, the most indebted generation in the entire history of the world. And you just don't want that for your kids, right? No.

You don't want that for your kids. Not in the name of building credit. You can do what you need to do, live your life, even buy a house without a credit score and without debt. In fact, you know, this is what millions of people have done. If you'll stay on the line, Dion, we will send you a copy of Rachel Cruz and Dave Ramsey's book, Smart Money, Smart Kids.

They talk about how to raise smart money, smart kids. Obviously, they have some examples for younger kids, but even when you have adult children, some of those principles of living debt-free, of not building a credit score, they are in there, and that will give you maybe some more language to talk to your kids about it and give you the practical steps on how to follow through on it. I've got to say this real quick. D.I., listen, you better remember what Christy said because Christy's right, 100% right,

but I'm going to tell you, you're going to go back and tell some people, yeah, I called the Ramsey Show, and Christy Wright, bestselling author, told me this, and they're going to go, she's crazy. She doesn't know what she's talking about. They need a credit score. They're wrong. Please read the book. Please do your own homework.

She's right. They don't have to have a credit score to live a very desirable life. Please, please, please. Because everybody's going to tell her, she doesn't know what she's talking about. Yeah, actually, she does know what she's talking about. I just want to warn you, when you tell people what you're going to do, they're going to tell her she doesn't know what she's talking about yeah actually she does know what she's talking about i just want to warn you when you tell people what you're going to do they're going to say that well and and it's like dave always says don't take finance advice from broke people the people saying oh they need a credit score are broke they're part of that statistic too with credit cards and bills and credit card debt up to their eyeballs so of course they think

that's normal because they're a part of that i I'm telling you, Ken and I don't have credit cards. We teach people every day how to live your life without credit cards, credit scores, debt, stress. I don't even know what my credit score is. I would assume mine's a zero because I don't do anything. I don't know. You're such a failure. Anyway.

Anyway, I hope that helps. All right. Let's go to Kyle in New Orleans. Hey, Kyle. How are you? Hey, I'm doing good. All right, let's go to Kyle in New Orleans. Hey, Kyle, how are you? Hey, I'm doing good. Thanks for taking my call. Sure.

How can I help? So my call is more about a life advice kind of question than a financial question, although it has financial components. So I'm going to lay a few of those out for you just to set the stage. I'm a programmer. I just turned 33. I'm a late bloomer, too. I'll just you just to set the stage. I'm a programmer. I just turned 33. I'm a late bloomer, too. I'll just say that right off the bat. I'm a late bloomer.

I have been working at the same job for seven years, and that seven years ago is when I graduated from college. I have a BS in mathematics. And the issue is, I knew from day one of getting this job that it wasn't really going to be, it wasn't really going to do it for me in the long run, that it wasn't going to provide the sense of fulfillment that I think I need from a career. Maybe I'm wrong. You're right. You're right, by the way. Don't ignore that. And I have just been struggling.

That's created this sort of malaise over me that's been with me for like five to seven years. And I've tried my best to break through that malaise in those seven years and get to a place where I can like decompress and reassess for the next career move. And I've tried to, like I've tried my best to avoid the unpardonable sin of like quitting a job without having anything lined up. But I, I mean, I'm getting 33.

I mean, I'm not getting any younger. This, it feels like this is something that if I don't do now, I'm just never going to do it. All right, so hold on. So, Kyle, I appreciate you laying this out, but when someone says, I've tried to break out of the malaise, you're trying the wrong thing. You need to find something, go dig and develop a plan, and move into it when the opportunity opens up,

not try to break through the malaise. Here's the reality. There's tons of research out there, but the most recent research came last year in 2020 out of London, where it showed that if you are in a job that you have no meaning for, that the emotional and mental duress is close to the grief that comes when losing a loved one. So this malaise you're talking about is very, very real, but to try to break through that and just gut through it, you're not going to be able to. What you've got to do is move on. And right out of college, you knew this was not a long-term play. So what's the long-term play?

A guy who's been thinking about this for five to seven years has had an idea or two come from his heart. We've only got about a minute and a half. Tell me what it is. What's the thing you would love to try well i wish that i could do something that involves like mentoring and like teaching people more teaching people what be really specific right now and don't overthink this what would you like to teach people what subject matter something to do with math or science um something that i believe is objective truth that will

empower them awesome hey can i tell you something kyle that's a fantastic answer so let's let's just play this out real quick i got seven stages that'll lead to the work you were born to do get clear as stage one i think you're pretty close to walk into stage two which is get qualified so you've got to ask yourself if i was was going to teach, where would I teach? This is homework you need to do. Secondly, what would it take to get me there? What education would I need? What do I need to learn?

What experience would I need? What do I need to do? How much is that going to cost me? That's the economic question. And then finally, how long is it going to take me to do those things? That's the expectation question. Those four questions will yield answers that become a plan. This is what I need to learn.

This is what I need to do. Here's how much it's going to cost me. And based on my financial reality, here's how long that it's going to take. Now, my man, I just want you to feel for a second, just for one second. What if you, on Monday morning, showed up and were teaching science and math? At the end of the day, you were driving home. What do you think that might feel like? Oh, boy.

Good or bad, Kyle? I think it would feel good. Yes, there you go. So don't overthink this. When you think about work you want to do, how does it make you feel? Go after that. I want to thank producer Ben, associate producer Kelly, and my co-host Ken Coleman. This is The Ramsey Show.

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