The Ramsey Show - App - Your Money Flows Toward What You Care About (Hour 1)

Episode Date: September 15, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Christy Wright, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today here on the air. Open phones as we talk to you about your life and your money. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. So, Christy, I was walking past one of our purchasing guys' desk a while ago.

I look down, and I see the new gold planner is in the house oh my gosh i'm so excited it is so beautiful i mean it is a work of art it's a planner it's a tool of course but it's a really beautiful one it's i'm really proud of what our team did it's amazing what they pulled off one of our guys did the original art in house right yeah alex actually one of our um female uh graphic designers we saw a piece that's kind of for inspiration. And we're like, we don't want that exact piece. Could you just paint it? And so she painted this custom cover.

And it's fun. It's in line with the new brand. It's also just fun and really beautiful. So, yeah. We've sold half of them already. It's crazy. Like half for the whole year. Yeah, we're going to run out.

So it's the 2021 Goal Planner, and it's like an inch and a half thick, spiral bound for those of you looking into your radio wanting to see it. And aside from being beautiful, it has good stuff inside. Yeah, it's really fun. So the last couple years as we've released the Business Boutique Goal Planner, it was very focused on business, and I put business content in there, tools, journal questions, that type of thing, all throughout for inspiration and teaching while you plan your calendar. Well, this year, as we're kind of expanding from Business Boutique to Helping Women in All Walks of Life, this planner is completely new and everything is updated. So it's not just focusing on your business, it's focusing on every aspect of your life that's important to you. And it's been really cool, Dave, to see the feedback on social media

because all the people that ordered it when it launched a couple weeks ago are getting it in the mail. And they're saying, oh, my gosh, I'm so ready for 2021. I'm so ready for a fresh start. I'm ready for a clean flight. Anything to celebrate this year being over. Yeah, exactly. And it's a great gift, too.

Of course, you're seeing a lot of people buy it for friends and for husbands, for their wives, and so on. But it's amazing. So it's more than just a calendar. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about this really quickly. So one of the things that you and I, and you've taught me this so well, we don't put out stuff

that we don't fully believe in, that we would not use ourself. And I thought, you know, I don't use just a paper calendar. I use my phone for my appointments. But I knew that my audience loved planners. So I was like, how can I work this into things that I would use? Well, I read books to grow. I do Bible studies to study scripture. I write my goals on paper like we teach people to do and I journal. And so I was like, what if we worked all that together with the calendar? So

that's literally what it is. Every single month, there's a teaching. That's your content like a book on a specific area of your life to help you grow. There are journal questions to help you apply it to your life. There's tools and worksheets to help you put it into action. And then you also have questions for reflection, scriptures, quotes, and then of course your calendar where your goals are woven into even your weekly tasks. So every single page is incredibly intentional. It works together for this holistic approach to plan not just your calendar, but also your goals, your scripture reading, and all of those areas of your life that are important to you. So it's very, very intentional. Starts January 1, 2021.

So if you want something to look forward to, get out of 2020. That's it. Yeah, the Christy Wright Gold Planner 2021. They're half sold out already. We're shipping them now. So if you want one, just go to christywright.com slash planner, or you can always get everything at the Dave Ramsey store at daveremsey.com. So jump in, and you can see pictures of it and everything there. It's all laid out, and you'll see what we're talking about with the cover and the whole bit.

And this thing is an incredible tool. If you're a planner-type person, this is the bentley this is the maserati of planners right here and so uh be sure and check it out at christywright.com slash planner or davramsey.com all right let's go to charles in bakersfield california hey charles how are you i'm doing great dave and christy how are you how are? Great. How can we help? Well, I'm calling just a little back story. This is concerning my mother-in-law. She is 76, a widow, and a while back she took out these two home equity lines of credits, one totaling about $26,800 with a 5.5% interest rate.

I think originally this was around $37,000 when she started. Plus there was a second one that she has never used, and that one, I believe, has a 3.3% interest rate. Her credit union wants to charge her $130 to remove this second home equity line of credit. I'm just trying to figure out, you know, she is retired and getting roughly $1,500 a month in Social Security. What are her options as far as getting out of this mess? And so there's an open line of credit that has a zero balance, and they just want to charge her $100 to take it off the books. Yeah.

I would do that in a heartbeat. Okay. Yeah, because basically that takes the gun away from the child. Okay. Yeah, because basically that takes the gun away from the child. Okay. You know? Wow. Because, I mean, if you don't have the thing, you can't use it. Right.

And so it's worth $130 to get it out of her life because she might make a bad decision, you know, and run that thing up, and you don't want that to happen for sure. Okay, yeah. So she got a budget where she can live on the $1,500? Pretty much. I mean, she lives with her oldest daughter in their home it's it's a fairly large home but uh unfortunately her oldest daughter does not work she was laid off because of covet 19 and she was a food demonstrator at one of these uh big membership stores but they pretty much laid off the whole staff. Okay.

So. What was the line of credit for the other one that is open with the $26,000 or whatever you said? That, I believe, was just pretty much for medical bills. She did not have a long-term care insurance policy. Her husband became ill. He had a Parkinson's-like illness, plus he had lung cancer, and he had to go through several treatment facilities just for getting him back in physically good health. But, you know, he's not around anymore, unfortunately. Okay. Yeah, well, let's just get her set up where she can, you know, not have the temptation to use that,

or someone else that's unemployed, like her daughter, doesn't have the temptation to talk her into using it. Cause the last thing this lady needs is debt with this low in income. And so, yeah, I would take that. I'd pay the 130 bucks and get rid of that heartbeat. And, um, I try to talk them out of charging me to do it by the way, just for a hundred dollars worth of discussion, but it's worth it to get rid of it. I would get rid of it. And then, uh, you know, obviously she's on a tight budget, and we're going to have to help her watch her money and look over her shoulder and, you know, give her some cheerleading advice, not corrective advice, but just cheerleading and just, you know, let her know that, you know,

you'll help her with the numbers if you can help with putting the budget together and running it. Sometimes people just need a little bit of emotional support. Let me ask you something on that, Dave, because it's interesting with the in-law relationship. For example, how would he encourage her or help her or even have that conversation with someone that is his in-law versus his own mom? Would you advise differently? Because I feel like there's a different, there's a different relationship there. It's probably easier than with his own mom because it's more like a friend. Okay.

And it's just, I'm just trying to help you. Yeah. You know, it's like if Sharon's dad asked me a question, you know, I can certainly tell him, you know, what I think. And I don't have a lot of emotional, I don't have as much emotional as if it was my mom. Interesting. Okay. That kind of thing.

Or my dad. Yeah. You know, that kind of thing. So it's just, I can sit down and say, well, if it was my mom. Interesting. That kind of thing. Or my dad. That kind of thing. So it's just I can sit down and say, well, this is what I do. And then if he doesn't do it, it's up to him. Right. But I can coach him and cheerlead him along. I think it's probably a little easier.

There's no conflict involved here. It's just instruction. Now, where there's conflict, you're going to bring in the relatives. This is the dave ramsey show one of the questions i get all the time is which life insurance company should i use for my term life policy a valid question since there are hundreds of companies out there with rates all over the place and riders and add-ons that are simply a waste of money. You need to get this done and make the right decision. That's why the only company I use and have

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Christy Wright is my co-host today here on the air. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Courtney is in Norfolk, Virginia. Hi, Courtney. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, can you guys hear me okay? Yeah, what's going on? Oh, my God, I'm already about to start crying.

I've been staying at home with the baby for the last six months, and money's just really tight, so I don't know if I can keep doing it, or if I should go to work, or what to do, really. Okay, let's dig into it. Let's unpack this. When you say money's tight, kind of tell us a little bit about your financial situation and are you home because you want to be home or what's going on? Kind of walk us through your decisions of what's going on. Uh, so I quit working when I was about six months pregnant cause I was so sick I couldn't drive my husband's military. So he brings home about 3,400 a month, but without our mortgage for like $23,000 in debt okay so it's kind of hard to

stay on top of things and be able to save and do things we want to do without having to stress about it yeah what are things you want to do what do you mean anything because right now he my husband gets pretty mad uh because when he wants to go do things I'm like no I want to use that money. Instead of going out to eat on a date, I want to pay it on a credit card. I don't want that. I'm sick of it. But he's the kind of person who's like, oh, another $50 on the card won't hurt.

Yeah. But I can't do that. What's the $23,000 in debt? Is that all credit cards? No. So $15,000 of it is his car that I've tried many times to get him to sell it. But he thinks her name is a cuss word. So he does not want to get rid of his car whatsoever.

But the rest of that is credit cards. Okay. You don't have a money problem. You have a husband problem. Yeah, this isn't even a question of being a stay-at-home mom or working. That's actually not the root of what's going on, just like Dave said. Yeah, I think you guys are destined to spend some time with a marriage counselor because it hasn't got anything to do with my name being a cuss word.

It's got to do with you have a set of goals and he wants to just spend money and you guys cannot pay the bills. And so in other words, he wants to keep a car that you guys cannot afford and that is forcing you into the

workplace. So you're trading a car, his desire for that car over your desire to be at home. That's the conflict. Mathematically, if you didn't have the car payments, you could pull it off. Well, and if you do go get a job or start your own business or create any kind of income that is taking you away from your baby, which is where you want to be, it's still not going to fix the root problem, which is you and your husband are not on the same page. You're going to make more money to pay for those things that you want to do, but you're going to resent him by the fact that you have to, and you don't get to be with your baby

because you're not on the same page. Right. Yeah. So, uh, what you guys have got to do is, is it's not a Dave Ramsey or Christie Wright answer really. And it's not a, Ramsey or Christy Wright answer, really, and it's not a can I afford to stay at home. The answer is you already told me. You can't afford to stay at home because you have a car you can't afford.

And so I think the math's pretty simple. You guys get on a written plan together, both of your grownups raising a child, and get rid of the car, and I think you'll be able to stay at home, mathematically, if that's your desire, and it sounds like that's your desire. So, and, but it's, you know, in other words, your desire for this and you being there with the child has got to come before his desire for a truck, and that's called being a grown-up. So, yeah. How old are you guys?

20. Yeah. All right. Well, I, you know, this is his challenge to move from being a little boy that wants everything to being a man that serves his family. And every one of us has to do that. I had the exact same thing at my house many years ago. I'm an old guy now.

But many years ago I had to make the decision that it was not all about Dave and that I've got three kids to raise and feed and, you know, a wife that has a vote. And so you guys need to sit down with a good marriage counselor as soon as possible and spend some time. And if he won't go, you go without him and go see a counselor because that will start to give you some language to pull this together because this is not going to get better. It's going to get worse.

And it's just showing up now that the choices he's making are you know meaning you don't have a vote and he's putting his selfish desires ahead of his family yeah it's interesting too because so often what we think is a money issue is really a values issue what you're talking about are your values your dreams your goals that's that's money is just what you're putting towards them in his case he values the car in your case you're valuing being at home and so you've got to get to the root level and talk about the values that's what we're really talking about here the money's just like you said where the where the symptom where the evidence is coming out of what what the problem is i can't tell you the number of times in 30 years of doing financial coaching that we can sell a car and enables mom to stay home that wants to stay home.

Didn't she say he's deployed too? Do you need a car if he's deployed? I think she said he's deployed. Oh, well, that's going to make marriage counseling a little difficult. But we'll have to wait until he gets back, I guess. But like you said, she can go and put some language for the conversations around it. Yeah, that won't hurt. But you don't need a car.

Bottom line is this is not a car. You don't trade a kid for a car. You don't trade time at home. If mom wants to be at home, you don't trade that for a car. And sometimes you have to say it like that to really see what you're talking about. Like that's what you're really good at, Dave, is just like calling it like it is and calling it out. And when you see it like that, like, oh, like all the ways that we danced around this issue

and walked on eggshells, I was like, no, that's really what we're doing. And neither of us are okay with that. Hopefully he's not okay with that. So we're going to do something about it. Well, and it's a different answer if she wants to be in the workplace.

A hundred percent. She's a professional lady and wants to do something. That's what I love helping women do. Or start businesses from home, whatever the thing is. I'd love to help her do that. But you hear in her voice, she doesn't want to. That's not what she wants to do. She started from home, whatever the thing is. I'd love to help her do that. But you hear in her voice she doesn't want to.

That's not what she wants to do. She started the call with tears. Yeah, that's right. And so, you know, but, yeah, so change the equation. Then if we want to choose to move ahead financially and pay off the car and keep it because we like the car and I'm working and I realize I'm working for that, then you don't say you're trading a kid for a car because I'm not going to shame. I'm going to mom shame her, right? Oh, a hundred percent. That's the thing. So it's not that it's a different, but it's got to do with, you know, your money flows toward what you care about your values. That's right. When you care about saving money flows towards saving. When you care about giving and being generous, it flows

toward towards generosity. Money flows towards what you care about. You spend your time and your money on what matters to you. And it's just infallible to look at it that way. Open phones at 888-825-5225. William is in Washington, D.C. Hi, William. How are you? Hi. Good, thanks. Hi, Dave and hi, Christy. Thanks for taking my call.

Sure. I've got a quick question. When does it make sense to treat your mortgage as part of a debt snowball? In terms of the figures, our mortgage is at about $500K, and we've got about $260K of income. So it looks like we could pay off the mortgage in about four years if we just focused in on it. So I'm interested in your advice. I would rather go ahead and get your retirement started at 15% of your income in Baby Step 4 and do something towards Kids College if that's a if that's a box to be checked

and that's going to change your four-year payoff into about a six-year payoff is all and i'd rather you get started on that and so that leaves it in baby step six all right thank you that makes sense to you it does it does i'm just looking at the at the number and it's an ugly number i love I love it that you want to kill it, man. That's right, yeah. You want to knock it out. I love it. That's so cool.

Yeah, you're going to get it. And what's going to end up happening is you're probably going to end up doing it in four anyway because your income is probably going up, and you're going to just start looking at it and going, we're going to cut this and cut that and smack it. Because once you get on that. Once you can see it. Once you get that thing, man, you can't stop yourself from going after it. It's very, very cool.

So, neat. Hey, there's no wrong answers here. But in terms of that, you can't really mess up getting out of debt if you do it. But I would prefer you to stick with the baby steps. I think you'll have a better result. And leave that house over there. And it's not going to delay you that much is the point it just be you know you're just you're just laser focused dude well done very cool this is the dave ramsey show Thank you. Christy Wright Ramsey, personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today here on the air.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. Art and Stephanie are on the line in Los Angeles with a debt-free scream on tap. What's up, guys? Hi, how are you guys? Great, man. How are y'all? We are so happy to be here. Thank you so much. We're happy to have you. How much have you paid off? We paid off $41,776. I'm sorry, $41,776.85. Great. How long did that take? 16 months. 16. You kicked it. And your range of income during that time?

That's from $120,000 to $125,000 from beginning to end. Not much of an increase, but... That's all right. You did it. You're moving in the right direction here. So what kind of debt was this? We had everything. We had car loans, credit cards, personal loans, and a student loan.

So you're like normal. All of that was before we got married. So we got married with each bringing debt to our marriage. Oh, my goodness. How long have you been married? About two and a half years now. Okay. So a little while after marriage, about a year after marriage, you look up and say, we got to do something. What happened? Tell us the story. What got you started?

Yes. So we're a blended family. We each have a daughter. So when we were just really tired of living paycheck to paycheck, we also wanted to grow our family, and we wanted to buy a house. Everything just seemed so out of reach. So probably about six months into our marriage, we went on a 12-mile hike. So I wanted to download something that I can listen to. So I downloaded the Total Money Makeover book, and you basically yelled at me for the entire time I was walking up that hill. I'm not yelling in that book.

Does that 12 miles feel like 20? Tell me the truth, Stephanie. I didn't yell at you. I just read your mail. That was all. So when we got back, we were just, okay okay we have to commit to this uh and especially because we that we wanted to grow our family so we made that commitment and 10 days later we found out that we were pregnant with a rainbow baby so whoa love it very cool so baby on the way, and we're going to get out of debt. Yes.

So, Art, she comes back from this hike having listened to someone yell at her for 12 miles. What did you do? I mean, how did you get plugged into this? You know, she was like, I have a crazy idea. And, you know, we had lunch right after our hike, and after hearing her out, I was like, it's crazy not to do this. Wow. There you go. Okay. Made sense. Made sense to Art.

Very cool. Yes. So it was game on. So what do you guys, now that you've done it, what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? For me, it's to be consistent and have a good support system. Art, him and I were definitely partners in all of this, but our family also

cheered us along. Coworkers helped us. And we also reached out to like the debt free community online that really helped us as well. Okay. Very cool. Very good. That must have been an interesting experience taking on such a big project of becoming debt

free. This, this new goal that you have so early into marriage? Because I know a lot of people, they struggle with finances when they get married because they're starting to learn about their different values and how they were raised and what they expect that they didn't really realize until they merged their finances. What was that like having this like intense goal that brought you together as a team? I mean, I think it definitely set us up for success in marriage. I mean, I was married before and failed miserably, and money was a huge part of that.

So I didn't want to repeat any of my past mistakes, but it forced us to be transparent with each other. Right, we have similar pasts. I was also in a long relationship that also failed because we never communicated over our finances. Okay. All right. So you're like, okay, the way to stop this is to stop it.

Yes. Right. Yeah, that's good. Very cool, guys. Very cool. Great job. Who are your biggest cheerleaders outside the two of you? I would say my grandmother. He is Dave Ramsey without even knowing who Dave Ramsey is.

I don't know. What about for you? And at work, I do have a C&M that overheard me talk about the snowball, and she came in and just, oh, my God, just started talking about Dave Ramsey and really got into it with me. And really, she's been one that's supported me at work. That's cool. That's cool. Good to have some people build you up. That's good. Way to go, guys. How does it feel now that you're free?

It feels so good. It feels like our dreams are actually going to be a reality our son is just turned a year um our daughters are both doing very well we already have our emergency fund done so now we are saving for a house i love it that's awesome so all of the things you were talking about are lining up now yeah and all because you went on a 12 mile hike and got yelled at very cool well great job we got a copy of chris hogan's book for you everyday millionaires we expect that to be the next chapter in your story you're going to be millionaires that's the next dream to add to the list right here right after we get the house and get the kids going and now we're going boom boom boom boom hey we're going to build some wealth. Let's do this.

Well done, you guys. Art and Stephanie, Los Angeles, California, $42,000 paid off in 16 months, making $120,000 to $125,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. We're debt-free! Yeah! That's how it's done.

That's awesome. That's how it's done. It is amazing when someone tells you what you need to hear but don't want to hear necessarily, and it stings a little, no matter how soft the voice is, it sounds like yelling. I don't know that your voice is soft, Dave. You go listen to the Total Money Makeover audiobook. It is not yelling. I'm just saying.

Here's what's interesting, though, that I thought was really cool about Stephanie's story. Is right around the time that this was happening, deciding to become debt-free, which is, you know, when you're making this life change, it's like, okay, we've got to change our habits. We've got to live on a budget. We've got to cut up the credit cards. There's a lot of change that happens. They also found out they were having a baby. And it would be so easy to use that as an excuse of, well, we can't do that right now. We can't.

We'll do that later. We'll do it in five years. Babies are expensive. They did it even though they had another life change they didn't see coming. And I think that's really impressive. I think that's really impressive. I think that's really cool. That is a good point because, you know, people, all of us, when we're facing the pain of change, and change is painful, we look for a way to tap out.

We look for a way. Give me an exit ramp so I don't have to do this. Right. I don't want to have to face this. I don't want to have to deal with this emotional pain, the struggle, the sacrifice it takes to win. I don't want to do the hard work to win. Right. So just give me an exit ramp.

And you're right. They had a, you know, most people would call it a reasonable reason to tap out, and they didn't. They plowed through. That's right. That is very impressive. That's very, very important. Well, folks, we're taking a survey right now because we value input

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So again, text survey to 33789. Take the survey. It's quick and easy. And it'll take just a few minutes for you to be in the running for that $100 Amazon gift card. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. number one best-selling author ramsey personality christy wright is my co-host today here on the air. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Zach is in Wyoming. Hi, Zach. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.

Hi. How are you all doing today? Great. How can we help, man? So I'm a little bit of a new listener, kind of a new listener. Used to hear it in the car all the time when riding around with grandpa back in the day but um so i have a pickup and i have baby step number one done and then baby step number two the only debt i have is that pickup so i was thinking about

self potentially selling the pickup and using that as a partial down payment for a house. I was kind of wondering what your thoughts were on that. Okay. So what do you owe on the truck? $12,000. $12,000. What's it worth? $27,000. Okay. So that would give you $15,000 to do something else with, and that would make you debt-free, right? Yep. Okay. Howfree, right? Yep.

Okay. How old are you? 20. Good for you. Okay. Why the itch to buy a house? Just with everything going on and low interest rates, I think right now would be a good time to get locked in on a 15-year fixed rate. That sounds pretty wise. I like that. Good answer. And what do you make? What's your income? After tax, about $28,000, $29,000. Okay. All right. Well, what we teach folks to do is to buy a home after baby step three, which means you're debt free, you have your emergency fund, and you have a down payment for the house. The price range home you're debt free you have your emergency fund and you have a down payment for the house

the price range home you're talking about uh with that income you can probably pull that off with 15 000 freed from the truck you need to set aside maybe like seven of that and then you have like eight of it to put down on the house so you need your emergency fund in place plus a down payment you follow me yep yeah and uh so where did all the big down payment on the truck come from originally um i bought it from my grandpa he just he sold it to me at a really good price when i bought it it had some like cosmetic work that needed done and i got the cosmetic work all done on it and so that just brought the value all the way up okay very cool all right so a little little bit of a project truck and uh turns around doing um you know doing what you can do then yeah that's cool that's great very good

so um yeah pretty impressive to do this at 20 years old dude I mean I think I suspect your grandpa would be proud of this move, wouldn't he? I would suspect so, too. I mean, my parents, they're kind of on the line. They're like, it's a really good running truck, that thing, to last you for years. I mean, it's a diesel. It's got 100,000 miles. That's just barely breaking in.

My parents are like, just pay it off and go slow. And it's like, I want to be out of debt and own my house before I'm 30 or by 30. I want to be an everyday millionaire by 40. Yeah, you could do it slow and still do it by 30, but that gives you a decade to work on it. But there's nothing wrong with what you're talking about. Oh, one last question.

Are you involved in a relationship with a young lady? Yes. How serious? Very serious. I'd probably get married here in a relationship with a young lady? Yes. How serious? Very serious. I'd probably get married here in a couple years. Okay. You may want to put off buying a house, or potentially until that happens. I don't know how many, whether it's going to be a couple of years or what,

but if you bought a house, there's a high probability you're going to be selling that house after you're married because you will buy the wrong house. And it's not unusual at all for her to pick a different home after you get married. But it's still okay to go ahead and buy, but you just need to know ahead of time that house is probably going to be sold somewhere in the process. Did you and Matt own a house, either one of before you got married no okay no so we did that together after our first year of marriage but i think you bring up a good a good point because if if you don't have to rush to sell the truck pay off the debt and buy the house kind of all in one swoop and you can just pay off the debt become debt free and have a

little bit of savings and then build that savings up, then that gives you options with so much life transition coming up. Because if you're thinking about buying a ring, you're going to need money. If you're thinking about a wedding, I don't know what the situation of getting, you know, that being paid for, you just want to keep enough money in the bank to fund those life transitions that are coming. And then you guys can buy a house together. You could buy a house today, but then you're just going to put a little bit more pressure on yourself to come up with the money for those other things that are coming where if you didn't buy the house right now you could still buy it in a few years and uh you would have money for those things and we didn't buy a car yet right at 15 000 i just spent it without buying a car you gotta buy a car too i'm

not sure you're gonna be able to pull off all those all three things yeah buying a car do an emergency fund um and have a down payment so you might but um there's nothing wrong with your plan to move in that general direction but it may be that you buy a car and you you know a cheaper car and you're out of debt and you've got some money in the bank and now we start moving towards saving up for the down payment and that may take a little while that may correlate with the wedding date possibly and all that kind of thing so just something to think about chelsea's with us in reno nevada hi chelsea welcome to the dave ramsey show hi dave thanks for taking my call sure what's up um so sorry i'm a little nervous um my husband and i are on baby steps four, five, and six, and we make pretty decent money and have a Christmas-taking fund,

but always feel guilty every year, like we never have enough saved after a cash-flowing life, and we end up going over budget every year. Some of our family is very wealthy and has everything and are always super generous to us, and others are normal and deserve nice things. So what's a healthy budget for Christmas? Yours isn't. Because what's a healthy budget for Christmas? Yours isn't. Because it's not working.

Right? Right. So, like, how do I determine, you know, how much I should be allocating to each person? Like, gifts are my love language and a lot of my family's love language. It's always been a big deal, but it's just, like, every year we just never seem to have enough and it doesn't make sense yeah let me ask you this when you say gifts are your love language

chelsea because i i i understand that i love giving gifts i love receiving gifts to you does the um monetary value of the gift correlate with how much you love a person or is it how much thought is put into it or or is it no it's really the thought but i do like to give things that they normally wouldn't buy themselves like to me that's exciting to see them be excited about something nice yeah that lasts about 45 seconds and the pain lasts till may so um what we're not really going over out of like we're not going into debt over it it's just kind of what how should we be planning you know better throughout the year because we seem to set a dollar amount but it goes out the window in a way or doesn't the reason it's going out the window is not the dollar amount the reason it's going out the window is you don't know how to say

no yeah that's what I say the dollar amount is really not the question here it's how to make you all behave in relation to the dollar amount. So whatever the dollar amount you set that you're okay with, you just have to actually stick to it. It's a very different thing between knowing something and doing it. And you guys just have to do it. And to your point, Chelsea, even if you want to come in under budget or make people, you know, the love language of gifts, I get that.

But you can do that in a very thoughtful way and stick to your budget or even spend less than you are and accomplish your goal of of making your family feel loved at Christmas. But you have to stick to it. Christmas is not going to make or break a relationship. If it does, it wasn't a real relationship christmas gift giving is not going to you're not going to give your family which is not wealthy or his family which is wealthy enough to change their lives and so this is just a it's a gesture it's a gesture and i think you're putting too much pressure on yourself and you're putting actually too much importance on it. Um, and, uh, you know, I'm not against giving gifts. I believe in giving gifts. I'm not the Grinch, but you're telling us

that this is creating emotional havoc for you. Uh, you know, you feel like you're like you have a financial hangover after Christmas is over because you feel like you regret your behavior. You've got, you've shamed yourself over it. And so, you know, really, there's not a magic amount that says, this is the proper amount for Christmas. The average family last year spent about $900, just to give you an idea. That's the average family budget for Christmas, and that's on an average household income of about $60,000.

But, you know, we don't make average at the Ramsey house and we spend a lot more than that on Christmas. But we don't have any weird regrets from it. We have a budget and that's what we're going to spend and that's all we do. And so just give yourself a guideline that you both feel good about while you're calm and then just be grown up and stick to it when christmas gets here so you don't have these feelings but there's not anything you're going to medicate with this it's going to make it okay this is the dave ramsey show

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