The Ramsey Show - App - Your Parents Are Stealing From You! (Hour 1)

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods at Moving and Storage Studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I am Ramsey Personality, Rachel Cruz, hosting today with my good friend and fellow Ramsey Personality, Dr. John Deloney. And we are here again to answer your questions about life and money. So give us a call at 888-825-5225. All right. Up first, we have John in Nashville. Hey, John, welcome to the show. Hey, how are y'all? Thanks for taking my call. Absolutely. John, how can we help? So my wife and I have a good bit of money in savings and we're not sure whether we go debt-free route or if we work towards homeownership and use that

money to put down on a house. yeah it's a good question uh how much you guys have saved we have uh right at 70 000 okay and that's non-retirement savings just in the bank no we're 25 it's all in um sitting in savings okay perfect and how much debt do you guys have i'm gonna say right at 100 to 110 110. Okay. What's the debt consist of? It's a truck that still lacks about 30 or 35. There's a boat. It's, I saw 49 on it. And then we have 30, I have 30 in student loan. Okay. How much do you guys make a year? Households like 140, 135.

Okay. Yeah, I mean, my first response is, yeah, you don't need to be buying a house right now because you guys have a lot of debt. You have a lot of stuff hanging around your neck when it comes to payments and everything. And so, no, I would take that 70 grand and start paying off this debt. I mean, how financially in pain, it's kind of a weird question,

but do you guys feel this urgency of like, oh, wow, we have a lot of debt. We have almost as much debt as we do making an income a year. Do you all have a sense of urgency or are you all kind of just living life and you're cool? Well, no, not at all, to be honest. I know that may be the wrong answer on this show but um and so the boat i when i go to sell it i'll stand to make 12 to 15 000 on it given the market right now you know the market's not great with interest rates on the boat i mean i've been paying over the minimum payment since we got it so i i still think even if i sold

it you know it should bring another five or so to the, to our pockets. Um, and I have a company truck. So I mean the truck, it just sits in the garage. Um, I just, I, I don't feel the urge to really, and we don't know. That's, that's why I'm calling. Not sure what the best idea to do is because I feel like I could get rid of all that by the end of next week if I, if I really wanted to. Yeah, you'd clean up seven, yeah, for sure. So why don't you want to? Well, a large amount of money from our savings came from a fishing tournament.

So I fish kind of at a semi-professional level. And at the end of the day, we still, we still only live on 35 to 65% of our income. Let me say, let me say it this way. My father-in-law's on the circuit too. So I totally get that world. I get that life and I get showing up with this boat, with those trucks. I get all that. On the flip side, my wife and I, Dave is very generous to my family. And when we bought a house, I was driving a 2012 truck with right under 200,000 miles on it. Dave would give me a hard time about it. But what was more important to me was to give my wife a home

and give our family stability because all of this, now I could just sell at any time. I'm telling you right now, that's 100% bull crap. That's you flexing to yourself, giving yourself an excuse to keep your toys because you know as well as I do

that COVID comes along and stuff shuts down or interest rates go way up or I filled up my car just a minute ago and two days ago when I left I've been gone because I went to Texas for a speaking event I came back gas is up like 25 or 30 cents higher and I rented a truck while I was in Texas and I got home and said I'm gonna buy a truck when I get back and then today I said thank God I got this hybrid Toyota that I drive. So you can say it all you want, but until you're holding that cash in your hand, none of that, I could just, none of that's real.

It's not real. It's not true. And so I think Rachel's question is instructive. If you don't care that you're just paying all this money and interest and making other people rich, then, I mean, knock your lights out, man. I'll still be your friend. We'll still hang out. But if you are ready to be able to fish

with a boat that's paid off and drive a truck that you don't owe money on, dude, change your life, man. Get your wife a house, get y'all a house, get some stability and make yourself anti-fragile, not just waiting until the next thing falls over. Because what's crazy, John, about just even your numbers, you just said, yeah, we live on about 60% of our income.

So you take that. And so you're living on 70, 80,000 a year, take the remaining income, sell your truck, and you could be completely debt-free. You're not even using your truck. You use your company truck. And the other one sits in the garage as you're making payments on it.

So there's some smart things to do here from a mathematical standpoint. I'm not even talking about the other side, the emotional side and all of that that we talk a lot about on this show and how much that frees you up. But John, like from a mathematical standpoint, if you guys for one year lived, like you're saying you live 60%, which isn't even sacrificial to y'all because that's just how you live. Maybe you cut it even more and it's 50%. Then take that 70 grand and pay off the truck. That's $100,000 and pay off the boat, pay off the student loans and start investing. Start letting your money work for you. Start actually trying to build wealth than just sitting here making payments and just kind of like living the life. Do you know what I mean? Like there's a really intentional plan that you guys have the

ability to walk down. But if you if the attitude is and I'm not trying to pick on you, but if the attitude is like, well, we're kind of just fine. I don't think there's much you know, that we're going to be able to do because the reason you called in was asking about a house. So my answer to you would be like, no, I would not use that 70,000 for a house. I would use it to pay off debt, lower your income, get the stuff cleaned up. And then you guys have the ability to save up again for a down payment on a house, and you can start moving that way after an emergency fund. So there's a way you can do it, but it's not going to just happen. And there's a part of me, John, that thinks like, yeah, you're –

I mean, and some people are at that place, right? What did your wife say about it? So she's kind of – I mean, she's on the same page as me. You know, the goal is to hopefully at some point fish for a living um so but you know it still just goes back to the to the first thing i said yeah it's either can we go ahead i mean and get into it is it a good idea to go ahead and get into this house and have home ownership and then start working towards you know then paying everything off?

Or is someone going to recommend, hey, go ahead and knock everything out and then because then, you know, kind of back to square one with saving and it's part of it. But you're back. Yeah, I mean, that was just a question. You're back at square one. But, man, I wouldn't quit my job to fish full time unless I didn't owe anybody any money.

If you don't owe anybody any money, you and your wife can take a risk like that for a year. Hang on the line, man. October 19th through the 21st here in Nashville is a marriage seminar. We're going to talk about money and marriage and how to get it all wrapped up together. I'm going to give you and your wife two free tickets. It's a $700 value. It's going to be on me. It's right down the street.

Y'all come join us, and we'll see if we can change the mind. We'll be friends and see what happens. That's right. Thanks down the street. Y'all come join us and we'll see if we can change. We'll be friends and see what happens. That's right. Thanks for the call. Welcome back to the Ramsey show. The question of the day is sponsored by neighborly, your hub for home services. Take your home's efficiency and style to the next level with convenient I could use a visit from the Shelf Genie.

Shelves are great. A little organization. I need a lot of that. All right, today's question comes from Katie in Oregon. Katie writes, About seven years ago, my parents had asked me to get a home together with them. At the time, we were in an apartment with a baby, and our home buying option was taking longer as my husband is self-employed.

I said no many times, but after being asked over and over again, my husband and I agreed. Here I am seven years later and miserable. Yes. My parents put the house in their name with only me on the mortgage i'm not even on the deed oh katie they tell me that i can't be on the deed due to the fact that they are over 65 and will stay on taxes that's insane my husband completely renovated the home spending many thousands of dollars as the house was falling apart when we

purchased it we pay 80 of the house bills and whenever something happens, we fix it ourselves and put the time and money into it. At this point, my parents know I'm unhappy, but they have informed me that if we decide to sell the house, they will be keeping most of the profit because they are retired and will need it, whereas we are still young and working. We have no money saved up because it has been all spent in this home, which has led to some debt as well. I feel like we've been fixing a home that we simply rent my parents have complete control legally and financially i feel so helpless lost and taken advantage of that's it wow well let's forget all the other stuff let me just i'll just say this katie you have been taken advantage of and you knew this was going to happen you knew it

that's why you fought it for so long because this kind of this kind of these two your parents they didn't just suddenly turn into this they've been like this your whole life and you knew this was a bad idea and you kept going back because you had this imaginary fantasy that one day we're all gonna be one big happy family and they kept saying well if we're all going to be one big happy family. And they kept saying, well, if we're going to be a happy family, then you have to give us this house. And your parents, hear me, have stolen from you. They have used you, taken from you, and stolen from you. If I'm you, I forget the parents part now. Let's put the parent part aside.

There's two adults who are stealing from you, robbing, melting your marriage, and taking all of your money for you and your small family i would figure out whatever way i can get out of this thing as quickly as possible if i have to sue them possibly consider that because they are stealing from you and if not if you don't want to sue them then you walk away with the loss you walk away and learn your lesson and you and your husband lick your wounds and y'all go on the next i mean mean, it just grosses me out. I know.

At the beginning, I was trying to go back and reread. Is she living in the house with them? Yeah. Yeah, so they're all together. They're all living in the house. Yeah, so Katie, I'd move out and I would be done with it. I would ask them, yeah,

to get your name off the mortgage if they need to refinance, whatever they have to do, get your name. I would break this deal. Completely separate. And if they won't take your name off the mortgage, then you list the house for sale. Yeah, because you're, I mean, yeah, that's the number one thing. And again, I know there's a lot of loss here from the financial standpoint, because you guys have

spent all of your savings, all of your debt. And also though, Katie, you and your husband have to take a look in the mirror and be like, wow, we chose this. We're adults. We chose this for seven years. And we made this decision. So it's a complete change, not just from a financial living perspective, Katie, but this is how you're gonna basically view

and what you're communicating to your parents, which is the first time you've ever done it. And you're an adult. You're an adult. And this is what needs to happen because John's right. They've taken complete advantage of you guys. Okay, so John,

from like a psychological standpoint, when parents do this, maybe I'm very naive, but there's like that innate sense that majority of, and I know there's like really toxic, abusive situations right in the world.

But parents like this, Katie's situation, do they think that they're, do they know what they're doing or in their minds, this is the right thing? Do you know what I mean? Is it malicious for parents like this in this type of relationship? Do they know what they're doing or in their backwards minds? No, no, no.

We're helping them, but we're getting retired. No, they know they're not. I mean, when they say, if you sell it, we're taking it all. They know it's theirs, right? No, I think what happens, becomes a, you owe me. Like, and I've heard this. I bought you groceries. I made sure you always had clothes.

Dude, you see me get irate. I don't ever get mad. You know that. That makes you. They're your kid, of course. Like that wasn't an investment that you are owed this back later with interest right right i gave you a house for 18 years yes i was a child you made

them into the world it is on you right right right so there is a well i did this and so like we just don't have anything because yeah like you you gotta take care of your parents and so it's i don't want to go down the diagnostic route, but it's just a gross situation because whether you're six or whether you're 26, whether you're 46, nobody wants to think my parents are preying on me, are using me.

And so you spend seven years, 30 years trying to fix that relationship because somehow you think you're doing something wrong because they would never do that because they're your mom they're your dad and it's a scary moment when somebody like me tells you you have to walk away because they're they're they're gonna kill you yeah right they're robbing you blind yep absolutely it's hard to like oh, oh my gosh. To shake that reality. Rachel, no matter what happens in your life, whatever hell you go through,

whatever terrible decisions you make, there should always be two people that you know the door is open if you need somewhere to go. And Katie has learned the hard way, that door is closed. She cannot go to them because they'll steal from her. And that's a soul's a soul shaking bone

rattling realization for for folks yeah it's hard and then it takes a situation like a messy house situation financially to wake up to that emotional sense of oh my gosh this is the reality my reality my parents steal from me yeah and they're stealing from their grandkid yeah they're my parents will steal from their grandchild. For their own entitlement sake. What do you say to people? Because I've heard, you mentioned it earlier. I just kind of want to go back to it.

Because I've heard it a lot on this show and even talking to people. This sense of it's my responsibility. It is my duty to take care of my parents. And if they're 70 years old with no retirement or whatever the situation is, and we have money, like it is out, I need to take care of them because of what they did. And they're not asking,

or maybe they are asking, for an adult child and their parent relationship, what does that look like when the parent is the one that needs help? And the adult child maybe can provide, but you don't need to feel obligated in that. Like what's that boundary?

It's messy. I have a, yeah, I've probably have a little bit different take on it. And I can get all philosophical about it. I just know that if my mom was, she's in her seventies, if my dad passed away and she's like, I have nothing, I would have a sense of obligation. I got to figure something out. I want to help her.

Yes. The two big things are number one me and my household me and my wife me and my kids we're whole we're good and so we put our oxygen mask on first we're no good helping somebody else to your and you die in the process doesn't help anybody right so if you financially can't if you are underwater and you can't you don't have any money to give. And we've been on the show, you and I have been taking calls where someone's like, I need you to open up some credit cards because I have to pay groceries. Well, she's 66 and doesn't want to. I don't care what she wants to.

She's got to eat. I mean, she's got to go work. Right. So number one, you have to be whole. And number two, you have to draw some boundaries. And that is not whatever they want. They want us to take over the mortgage because they want to keep living in this house.

No, they can move in the apartment down the street from you where you live if that's what y'all can afford. And we'll help with the rent. That's right, we'll help. Right, right. But they're grownups and they can opt out of the help I'm able

and willing to provide. But it's going to come with some boundaries. So the first one is you got to be whole and your marriage has to be good. y'all have to be okay financially and two y'all have to sit down and say here's what we're willing to do or not do um it's that that old honor your father and mother doesn't mean do whatever they say for as long as they say even when it's abusive or even when it's theft right right or even when it's going to crush your own children that's not honoring your household right yeah yeah um but it also means sorry oh man you should know i'm gonna help and take care of my parents

if i've got the means and ability i'm gonna reach out yep because i think that's what's so hard about situations like this and katie's like i know it's a little different but but it is that idea of like oh my gosh like they are my parents but when the role's reversed and you're in a better place financially than your parents or even emotionally you're in a healthier place than your parents. Like it's weird when that transition happens, but it happens for a lot of people. And those of you listening may be on the track of like becoming debt free and having savings and all of it. So you may find yourself in that position of I'm so much better off than my parents are. What is my obligation? What does that role look like? So that's so helpful, John. Thanks so much. This is The Ramsey Show.

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And John, you mentioned this in the first segment, but you and I are kind of co-headlining a Tire Weekend event. I'm your opener, always will be, Rachel. Rachel Cruz is headlining. I'm the main act. And I'm opening. John's opening for money and marriage.

And that is going to be in October. And we are so excited about this. It's going to be a full weekend event. And so you can go to ramsaysolutions.com and get all the information there. Because it's going to be a full packed weekend, October 19th through the 21st. And we've, we're going over content now. We've been planning this for,

for weeks now. And we, we've had a lot of conversations behind closed doors. This is a very un-Ramsay event, right? Yes. It's a, it's a weekend thing.

We're talking about sex. We're talking about money. We're talking about like, it will be a deep, deep dive. We'll have special guests come and join us. Yep. And we'll have a ton of fun with,

and we're in Nashville. So there's always going to be surprises. Yes. And we'll have a prom one night. It yep um and we'll have a ton of fun with and we're in nashville so there's always gonna be surprises and we'll have a prom one night it'll be a blast it's gonna be good it's gonna be fun you guys so again this is gonna be more an event i'll say this for people baby steps you know four five six and beyond uh because it is a little bit of a higher ticket price but it's a it's full days we're diving into a lot of content you're gonna get um it's just a it's a really fun experience because it's a it's full days we're diving into a lot of content you're going to get um it's just a it's it's a really fun experience because it's two subjects that i think are really difficult for people and so we're going to bring hopefully a lot of instruction but also it's going to be fun clarity we're going to have a lot of fun yeah so again go to ramsey solutions.com slash events for the money and marriage weekend events. By the way, I thought it was super expensive.

I thought $6.99, $7.99 was a bajillion dollars. And then everyone I've talked to that has ever put on an event like this, they were like, you undersold by half. What are you doing? Totally, I know. They've been getting on to me about it. Well, we're used to evening events, like building wells that will hit different cities.

And so this being longer event and all of it, yeah. Maybe to us, we're like, yeah, it's kind of a higher thing, but it's good. Come to Nashville, hang out for a weekend, have a blast. That's right, absolutely. All right, coming up next, we got Thomas in Columbia, South Carolina.

Hey, Thomas, welcome to the show. Hey, how's it going? How are y'all? Good, what's up, man? Hey, yeah, so just some background information to start off with. I'm 30 years old, working a OK IT job, making about $42K. I have around like $35K debt. It's primarily student loan at five and a half. I have about like $9K in savings and not much in retirement right now.

But my question for you guys is essentially how am I supposed to follow the baby steps when I'm constantly struggling with ADHD? Because it seems like it's virtually impossible to maintain, stick with these long-term goals such as this, especially when the literature shows that stuff like this is very difficult for neurodivergent people. Well, I've lived in that literature because I am that person. And so on the other side of it, I can tell you it's possible because I'm sitting here. And I think if you Google the Wikipedia page for ADHD, my face comes up on it. And so here's how I've chosen to look at it.

Number one, that is not a stamp or an identity or a death sentence, if you will. A in stone, this is the path that you will go on for me it's a helpful piece of information about how my body and brain respond to stress and chaos and how my brain and body respond to some daily um stimulus and so i have to do the broader work, which is to create a world in a context where I'm able to function and do what I need to do. So I want you to stamp this sentence on your soul that I'm about to give you. It is a context, not an excuse. It might be harder for you to do certain things. It might be harder for you to stick certain things it might be harder for you to stick with certain things and that means you're going to have to work harder than the average person or someone

who's more neurotypical to create boundaries for you and to create plans and accountability for you so that you get to the end absolutely so when i say that does that does that hurt your feelings does that empower you because when i changed the way I thought about it, I felt like I was a laser beam instead of I was at the mercy of this thing. No, I mean, I totally get what you're saying. I see it as a way of shifting your mentality towards the whole notion of it. Yeah, but it's bigger than that because I think we have a whole culture that's about manifesting and just change your mindset. You can't do that with ADHD. That's the issue, is the mindset, is the challenge. So what I have to do, I have to powerfully invest in discipline. I have to do the same thing every day over and over, especially when I don't want to, when I don't feel like I can. And I also have to create gaps

so that on those days that is just maniacal and chaotic, that I've got space enough that I'm still going to get to work on time. And that I'm still going to, and there's been seasons I've talked about on the show. There's been seasons,

especially old John, I would give my debit card to my wife. I was out of control. And so I began to put huge hurdles between me and decisions that were going to get me in trouble when I was being impulsive. And then as I went down the literature with ADHD and recognized diet and sleep and counseling and significant exercise in shifting my life way upstream my adhd symptoms the day-to-day hell that was living with that has transformed my friend transformed right right how's your overall life in that way thomas when he when he kind of says all of that uh do you feel like you have a

grip on all of that uh i mean some days are are better than others, I mean, no doubt. But, I mean, I've been dealing with it, like, you know, ever since I was little. So it's just, you know, a constant ongoing battle. So why are you working a job that you don't like, that doesn't honor you? It's not that it doesn't honor me. It's just a job that I can tolerate because I have skills in that area.

But one of the magic parts, one of the superpowers of somebody who struggles with ADHD is the ability to laser in on something like nobody else. Yeah, hyper-focusing. That's right. So what are the things that bring you hyper-focus in your life? For me, I found it. It was sitting with hurting people, which is a strange thing, but everything shut off when I sat in the sewer with somebody who was hurting. And I began to build a world around, okay, my body locks in when that happens.

What's that thing for you? I mean, honestly, I got into what I'm doing now because of my desire and my passion for technology when I was younger. And I feel like as I'm getting older and, you know, experiencing, you know, the real world, so to say, I feel part of that has died to a degree. And so let me tell you this. I could be helping people as a professional licensed counselor. I could go get my certification, go sit with people eight hours a day or 10 hours a day, seven days a week, and that would slowly burn me out. I could go back to being a dean of students, which is the way I could sit with hurting people and help folks, but also had a whole bunch of other things. What you have done is you've allowed a job that's the minutia of the particular role you took in technology, which is the thing that brought you joy and hyperfocus and laser beam. You've taken one role and let it suck your soul.

And you said, well, this is just growing up, as Blink-182 says. It's not. You're just not the right gig. Right. If you're good at programming, you're good at IT, I don't care what you do, $42,000 is about half your market value. No doubt. And so a gift for somebody with ADHD is connection, other people, people looking at you and thinking you have value and working on projects, not just in jobs, working on projects that you're like, yes, I want to solve this problem. And that's when ADHD has become a superpower for folks, myself included. Yeah, that's so good, John. So I would stay on the line because we're going to send you Ken Coleman's Get Clear Assessment.

And I want you to look at that and begin to ask yourself about not technology, but ask yourself about problems that you want to be working on and solving people you want to be helping. Yeah. And the challenge to Thomas of looking at that job, because when you up your income, as you called back to getting on track with the baby steps, you know, that thousand dollar emergency fund you have. And it's starting to work to pay off that debt. Like what are systems in place financially that can keep you on track and keep you focused? And maybe it's smaller goals day to day or week to week versus the big 18, you know, 24 month goals, but finding what works for you, Thomas. But I think a big confidence boost would be looking into the marketplace and see what you're worth and see if you can get your income up. Thanks for the call. Welcome back to the Ramsey show. We are taking your calls, America. It's a free call anywhere in the country at 888-825-5225. Up next, we have Forrest in Houston, Texas.

Hey, Forrest, welcome to the show. Hey, guys, thanks for taking my call. Absolutely. What's up, Forrest? Oh, nothing much, man. Hey, so I am a newly found Dave Ramzonian. And I love the title. It's a very Houstonian thing to say. Yeah, I've been listening for about a week and a half. And, you know, before I started listening,

I really thought that I was in a good place financially. But the more I listen, the more I realized that I really might not be. So I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend here in the next couple of months. Congratulations. Dude, do it on the air. Do it right now. Let's call it. Forrest, I won't let you.

I would not let you. Forrest, I got engaged in a Papacito's in Houston. With a sombrero, right? The tortillas were great, but everything else was let you. Forrest, I got engaged in a Papacito's in Houston. Hey, that With a sombrero, right? The tortillas were great, but everything else was a disaster. Do it better than I did, man. It was not great. It was embarrassing.

Oh, man, that's funny. Well, so my question is I have a $26,000 car note on, well, truck note and she has about, my girlfriend has about $26,000 car note on, well, truck note. And she has about, my girlfriend has about $44,000 in student loan payments. Since I started listening to y'all a week and a half ago, I've paid all my student loans off.

Oh, my gosh. Way to go, man. Well done. How much was that? Yeah. It was only about five grand. Okay. I just wanted to get it out of the way. So I'll get into some it out of the way. Um, I make,

so I'll get into some numbers for y'all. I make about $130,000. I'm 25 years old. Um, and God, man, what do you do? I'm a field sales engineer. Um, I sell electronic components for an electronic component manufacturer. I work with companies, engineers, to get our parts specced into their new prototype builds. I don't know any of the words you just said, but congratulations, man. That's awesome. That's really great, man. Thank you. So I guess what my question is, I want to get my car note and her debt paid off as quickly as possible.

And being in field sales, I am driving. I drive everywhere. I mean, I go have five or six customer calls at different locations every single day. So I'm on the road constantly and I drive a truck. So looking back, I don't think it was the best purchase, but I'm wondering if i should just sell it and get like a hybrid or a little car with a lot better gas mileage and put that money towards um towards like my car note and her student loans or if y'all think i should just pay it

off as quickly as possible and then start tackling her student loans um okay well i'll say this first and foremost for us i would not tackle her student loans. Okay, well, I'll say this first and foremost for us. I would not tackle her student loans until you guys are married. We've taken, sadly, a good number of calls on this show where couples combine finances before they're married. And he pays off her loans six months down the road. And the engagement, it ends and they're off, right? And that money was, I hate to say wasted,

but for that individual was wasted. And I know that when she just said that, you just were like, yeah, I know, that's not us. Rachel and I would not have jobs if everybody's plans always worked out. So when you guys say I do and you're driving to the reception, you can log on online

and pay it all off that moment, but not until you are legally married. Do you need to pay on anyone's debt or even combine finances? So I'll just say that as a quick like overshot. But for you and your truck, do you like the truck? Yeah, I love it. But looking back, it was just one of those things where I'm like, I finally finished school. I'm making a good income. Yeah. I want to.

I did the exact same thing, dude. Yeah. So, I mean, honestly, Forrest, with your income, the debt, you could pay off the truck and be fine. But if you're looking at it as an overall just an experiential idea because of you drive a lot and you're like, oh, my gosh, I could have a hybrid and save on gas. Like it would be a different play. Then, yeah, I would sell the truck, save up some money, buy a hybrid, buy something that, you know, gas mileage wise, because you drive so much is more efficient to your lifestyle. Then you could do that too. But the numbers, you know, some people call and we're like, sell the truck, sell the truck, sell the car,

because their debt is half of their annual income or their annual income. We've gotten that call before. So because of your income is so high, you could buckle down and just pay it off. But if you don't want the truck, I would Kelly Blue Book it and see what you get for the difference,

save some money on the side for us, and then, yeah, get a used car for now and then kind of work your way up and keep stepping up in car. But I wouldn't go get another car loan on a hybrid though right and i i did check kelly blue book i mean i owe about 25 000 on it saying i could get around 36 oh my gosh hey bro i would you would make money on it you should have seen dave ramsey's face when he found out the guy he had just hired i was driving a prius for that very reason and he was like what and then I totaled the Prius and I upgraded to drum roll please

the most masculine car you can drive a Highlander but I live far away and so I'm like like the gas mileage part and I've driven a truck my whole adult life and I love trucks and I'll have one again but right now it just makes sense so I think what Rachel said is that that's less of a financial thing. And it's more of a, is this, does this make sense for the job I have and for the gas mileage that I've got? I think, and everyone's just got to make that choice. But dude, if I was you right now, I'd sell that truck right now. I'd save up 10 grand and buy a $20,000 hybrid and be off to the race.

Do you have any cash Forrest? Yeah, I have. Well, that's another thing so i i don't know let's just say something happens to my truck i know that the baby steps day to save up one thousand dollars but let's let's just say my transition goes out i'm one of those people that has ten thousand dollars and like my emergency fund just because it puts me at a better in a better headspace i just i don't know that that cash is costing you money okay yeah okay so i need to just when you have twenty thousand dollars at seven percent interest that you're paying out and you're have ten thousand dollars in the bank at two percent you're you're that it's costing you five percent of that money

for a peace of mind which and i'll give you some of that but part of that thousand dollars is to is you should be uncomfortable you should be like i don't have enough if something really goes wrong you're exactly right you don't and it's it's supposed to spur you on to get this crap knocked out so how much how much you have saved for us you have 10 grand yes ma'am okay so if you can sell your car for 36 you owe 25 you'll have 11 000 to replace your car you have 10 grand which is your three to six months of expenses that you're starting to save and then you go yeah so you're fine the car is the piece that or the truck golly force i would

probably just sell it by the end of the week make money on it use that difference go get a used car it's not gonna be as fun as your truck for a little bit but that's okay you're just driving it put miles on it uh you got your 10 grand in the bank as your three to six months of expenses. And then I would start saving cash. And when you guys set a date for getting married and her, what does she make? She has 44,000 in student loans. What does she make? Well, so she's kind of in between jobs right now. So she was working as a purchasing agent for a manufacturing company, but she has decided that she wants to get her teaching certification. So she's going to start teaching here in December. And another thing that I didn't even mention is we're going to be moving. moving my job transition me to the dfw area so um we're just kind of in a transition period right now yeah okay so then i mean if i were you guys

i again the whole truck thing sell it by the end of the week get 11 grand go buy another car have the 10k and then you're i mean you're a single guy right now making 130 i would just pile cash for us dude yeah because you guys are gonna be saving for a wedding. You're saving for a transit, a move. Knowing your future wife has some debt that you're probably going to be paying on. A wedding? After you guys, yeah, after you guys get married. So like you have a lot of stuff happening right now.

So if I were you, get rid of the truck payment. Save, save, save, save, save for us. And you'll have a pile of money in the bank, which is amazing to be able to use for all this transition that's coming up but it's really exciting i'm so glad you're a a new listener because you guys man it is uh i just asked for a real question for us um what are the chances she listens to this show well she hasn't yet but okay listen listen. We're right up against the clock, so listen.

Rachel and I are hosting a Money in Marriage retreat October 19th through the 21st. If I gave you two tickets, would you propose on stage? It would make for our show to be awesome. Here in Nashville. Forrest, do not promise that. Forrest, I'm taking you off because I'm not even going to put that pressure on you.

Why? That would be so great. No, no. It would make for a great show. No, I'm taking you off because I'm not even going to put that pressure on you. Why? That would be so great. No. It would make for a great show. No. I would be pissed if I got engaged on an event. You would? Yes. Fun ruiner.

Unbelievable. It would have been awesome, Forrest. All right, you guys. Stay on the line. Hey, stay on the line if you want it, Forrest. Thank you, guys. Thanks, America, for listening. Thanks to everyone in the booth for helping out.

Thank you, John, for making this crazy. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Rachel Cruz. If you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsey way. Just go to ramseysolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter. Again, that's ramseysolutions.com to sign up for our weekly newsletter.