The Ramsey Show - App - Your Parents Don’t Get a Vote! (Hour 3)

Episode Date: July 7, 2022

Dr. John Delony & Rachel Cruze discuss: Fighting a custody battle when you can't afford an attorney, Why your parents don't get a vote on your side hustle choice, Trading in a vehicle vs. repairing it, Whether or not to sell the business, Paying for a wedding during Baby Step 2. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

I'm out. Live from the Ramsey headquarters here in National Tennessee, this is The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your money and your life and your work and your relationships, everything. Give us a shout at 888-825-5225 a shout at 888-825-5225. It's 888-825-5225. I'm John Deloney, joined here by my good friend Rachel Cruz, and we are taking your calls. It's a free call.

Give us a buzz. And let's go out to Green Bay, Wisconsin, and talk to Lynn. Hey, Lynn, what's going on? Hey, I was calling because I needed some thoughts and ideas. I am going to be locked in a pretty intense custody battle that I didn't see coming. What happened? I'm sorry? What happened?

Well, I had my baby, and he met her met her once, um, for a couple of hours and then just kind of disappeared and I didn't really push things. Um, and. Hey, back up, back up. So this is the father of this baby. Were y'all married? No, we were not. Okay.

We were supposed to be, but I found out about a bunch of infidelity and that was the end of it. Okay. I found out about a bunch of infidelity, and that was the end of it. So you had your baby, and then the father of that baby saw her for just a few minutes, and then he took off and disappeared. For a couple of hours the week that she was born, he met with her. But he didn't see her after that. He did text for a while asking general questions, but after a while he would text, how is she doing? And I would respond, she's good.

Do you want to see her this weekend? And then he wouldn't respond. And we kind of, for instance, repeated that for, I want to say about four or five times. And then late October, early November, he just stopped all contact. And I didn't reach out because I didn't want to chase him down and I had other things to worry about. Sure, you have a human being you're keeping alive. That's right.

Well, the one day before last, I got served papers for a court hearing. And I get my mail in the evening and I work the weekends. And so I wasn't able to look into an attorney or really review the paper. So I had made an attempt to call him to see what he would want for the proposed parenting plan. And he didn't answer. So when we went into the, well, the court was over the phone. So when I went there, I had dropped off the papers about 10 minutes before the hearing because I was trying to get everything to the court on time, and I didn't have an attorney.

And at that point, my ex had said that he wanted full placement and full custody under allegations that I was horrifically abusive, and he feared for the life of his child. Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. Which put us in the position of having to skip past mediation and go straight to Guardia Medita. That's right. Which is where the court assigns an attorney to the, kind of to the child.

And so, I have to very quickly come up. Take a second. This is to very quickly come up. Take a second. This is hard. This is hard. This is your baby. How old is this little girl? She's 10 months.

10 months. Wow. I'm so sorry. And there's a shock element to this, right? This is something that you didn't see coming, right? No, I didn't see coming right no i i didn't um i thought because i had been amicable and i had um offered for him to see her on weekends that he would take me up on that if he wanted um and i've had people in my personal life ask you know why why would he do this what does he want i the only answer i've been able to give them is to punish me because I didn't need him and I didn't call back to him or anything.

I'm going to give you a piece of wisdom moving forward, okay? There's a whole psychology about this, but I'll keep it real simple. Stay out of his head okay why he's doing what he's doing is his problem not yours your energy and your focus is on protecting this baby and

making sure that things stay the way they are and by the way they are. And by the way, while we're at it, we need some child support too. Okay? Why he's doing this doesn't matter. Yeah. Is he having an attorney? He does.

And I didn't know that until the day that I had called and asked the court if there had been any movement on the case. And that's when they let me know. But they said that he hadn't responded to the paternity test, and so they were still awaiting papers before they could put anything in motion. But, I mean, at some point he's going to have to answer for the unpaid child support of 11 months, and he's going to have to answer for the text messages that you have in

writing about how you reached out and tried to offer support and he would never respond he'll have to respond to the phone records where you call him and he doesn't answer right so i don't know what his attorney's trying to do but this isn't a very winnable case where does he where does he think he got information complicated It's more complicated. Okay. I don't have a copy of the text messages because my phone ended up with an error on June 3rd, and everything was deleted that I couldn't get to my computer. And the only thing I could get to my computer was when I would plug it in, it would automatically ask if I wanted to download any pictures or videos. Hold on.

Okay, let's do this. I don't want to get into legal stuff like this. You need to talk to an attorney about that. And the phone company should have the records that you need. All that to say is this. I want you to get online and Google family court programs in your area. Okay? Okay.

And there will be low-income resources for people who need attorneys for family matters. Okay. Okay? If they are unable to serve you, I want you to call a local, the nearest law school that you have and ask for referral services,

either through one of their in-house programs or one of the externship programs, or they will have a list of people who take on cases like this, either pro bono or on a sliding scale. Because there's a group of attorneys in another state, I'm friends with some of them, who love taking these kind of cases because it's right and it's the right thing to do. But we're looking for family court programs or family law service programs.

And even if you call a family lawyer in town and say, hey, I don't have any money. This got sprung on me. All of a sudden this guy is coming out of the woodwork after a year trying to claim things, just bananas. They may not be able to take your services, but they'll have some referrals for you to call for somebody to walk alongside you

in a way that you can afford it or will be a free referral service. I'm so, so sorry that you're going through this and this has come out of the left field on you. Again, stay out of his head. Stay out of all the drama. Don't be a part of the drama. Be a part of getting the legal counsel that you need

and somebody to protect you and take care of you and that baby through this process so we can retain custody and move on with our lives. And by the way, that dude needs to pay a year's worth of child support and make a plan moving forward because there's 17 more years in that baby's life. So, so sorry that you're dealing with this. What a heartbreak.

What a heartbreak. We'll be right back on The Ramsey Show. I get asked all the time, when in the baby steps is the right time to buy life insurance? My answer is typically now. Life insurance is not part of the baby steps because it's needed when your family has debt and not enough savings to provide for their financial needs. That's when they're at the highest risk. And no matter where you are in your baby steps, it's a necessity, not a choice. This includes working husbands and wives, as well as stay-at-home parents.

It's pretty expensive to replace those stay-at-home parent responsibilities. I only recommend term life insurance, since it's the most affordable way to get the right amount of coverage and not break your budget. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. These are the guys I personally use. Term life insurance is inexpensive, and your family needs this no matter where you are in your baby steps. That's Zander.com. Or call 800-356-4282.

Zander.com's 100% satisfaction guarantee means even if you mismeasure or pick the wrong color, they'll remake your blinds for free. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use promo code RAMSEY to get the best deal. Rules and restrictions apply. Today's question comes from Laura in Texas. My husband and I are on baby step two with $45,000 left to pay off. Our combined income

is around $100,000. I just started working at a side gig delivering groceries three nights a week after our son goes to sleep. At this pace, we'll be debt free by next february we live in a good area and i rarely go to the sketchy parts of town but my mom is but my mom worries about my safety and i don't think she approves of me working so much i make 55 to 90 a night should i find another sign? Oh, Laura, this gets all of my... Go, John, go. John is ready to jump in. Your mom doesn't get a vote. I don't care what your mom says unless she wants to write you a $45,000 check. Unless she wants to pay you $90. She doesn't get a vote on approving how much you work. Good grief. And what part of town? Golly. Number two, that's a trigger for me when someone says, oh, that's a sketchy part of town. That usually means people look

different than me or the houses are smaller or the cars aren't as nice. Those people need groceries too. If you're in an unsafe part of town, usually people use the words unsafe. If you are scared to get hurt or injured or killed, that's one thing. But just because that part of town is sketch, it looks differently than you. Dude, go deliver. In fact, deliver more. You should be making more than $90 a night. This just drives me crazy. You're married.

You're married. You have a child. Your mom doesn't get a vote move on right 100 oh man you know that's a it's a way it's just drives me crazy the the but seriously though laura and anyone out there listening there is a freedom when you're an adult your parents do not get to say actually, Dave and I fought about this on a segment a few shows ago because a girl called in and she was like, yeah, my parents want me to invest instead of pay off debt or whatever it was. And Dave's like, just tell, you know, girl, you don't know what you want and all of this. She's like, yeah, but I want to sit down and have a conversation and explain why I'm doing

it. And he's like, you don't owe them anything. You know, this whole thing. So there's like this balance in life when you're an adult and your parents are still living and you have a relationship, which obviously Laura talks to her mom quite a bit because she knows where she's delivering. She listens to her mom quite a bit, yes. Yes, she listens to her mom.

And this balance and these boundaries as an adult to go be an adult. But what is it that keeps people tethered to their mom's opinion or dad's opinion. It's a hundred different things, but usually it's approval. I want my mom to think I'm doing a good job. Okay. And that usually comes from a legacy of mom's withholding love based on performance. Okay. Right?

I will give you the nod. I'll give you my blessing when you're doing right. And if you're not, and it leaves a kid always fishing for, I need that approval. Because kids need that unconditional love. Totally. But when it's dependent on math grades or basketball performance, or in this case, what parts of town I enter or don't enter, right? Then you're going to chase it and you'll chase it for the rest of your life.

And it's when you can unhook from that and say, I'm loved because this guy told me he's all in. And I'm loved because I got a little son who can't wait to see me when he wakes up in the morning. And I'm going to work bananas to give my house peace, right? When you can unhook and plug into that and not plug into this person who's like well i don't know honey it's really sketchy over there there's 1994 model cars over there and the lexus don't go over like oh it gets me so far it gets me so riled up man um those people need groceries too get over there and help out for sure it's not that sketchy if they're paying to get groceries delivered either they're doing fine in the sketchy if they're paying to get groceries delivered either. They're doing fine

in the sketchy part of town. And underneath, I hate that phrase. I don't think she approves of me working. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

Now, my mom, still to this day, she'll say, have you been traveling? I'll say, yeah, I was in Vegas here. I went to Florida for a week and then we were back in here.

And she'll say, no, John, you need some rest. You need to go. That's a mom's job. Right. Right. But it's not about her approval of me.

That's just her doing her mom thing, which I love. And I say, cool, mom. Thanks, mom. That's right. That's right. And, uh, I, I, I, yeah, it's not attached. The strings are attached to my mortgage company. They're like, that's cute, but we still need our payments.

Right. So I still, I'm going to work. Right. Um, but she's doing her mom thing, but it's not an approval thing. I just don't like it. I don't like it. I hear it. Here's the thing.

Laura, I feel this way. I feel like you are quietly looking. You have started this process of working three nights a week after your kid's in bed, and it's exhausting. And you're going to start looking for a couple of little reasons to make into big reasons so you can stop doing this and slow down paying it off. Don't.

Just hit the gas or find another job that will get you there faster. But get this thing done. Get it knocked out. And for God's sake, unhook from your mom's approval. You don't need it. All right. Hey, we got these new questions for humans. Yes.

We have all different decks, right? And it's one of the top selling things in the company right now, which is still just super funny to me. All right. But we've got Girls Night Out, Guys Night Out. This is the workplace deck because we're at work. We should have done Girls Night, John. We should have.

Oh my gosh. Okay, you ready? I'm going to just throw. I'm going to go. All right, let's do it. Okay, what part of the United States would you never want to live in? Would I never want to live? I like it pretty much anywhere.

I got mine. What is it? Mine's Oklahoma. Slightly because you're sitting here. But part of it's true because I have no reason to be there. Texas. You don't want to live in Texas? Because everyone's obsessed with Texas when they live in Texas.

And I just think it's a little bit like, really? Is it that great? Such a contrarian. I'm sorry. But it was like Texas, Texas. I don't know. I love Dallas. I love San Antonio.

I love Austin. I mean, there's some great cities in Texas. But just the idea to say I live in Texas. I don't know. California would be a tough one for me to live in too. California is so beautiful. It's so stunning. And it's so beautiful.

San Diego. Yeah. And Malibu. And all of it's so stunning and it's so beautiful. San Diego. Yeah. And Malibu and all of it. I just think it's beautiful. And Napa. All the things. Okay.

Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. What's more disgusting? Your car, your desk,

or your bathroom at home? Okay. Here's the thing we need to talk about. Somebody cleaned up my desk. Here at work yep they organized it all straighten things they couldn't stand looking at it john because it's a wreck it's a wreck so i took everything out and now there's just a yellow pad it looks like it

looks like an office in a prison but so it used to be my desk it's probably my car my bathroom is pretty spotless um because that's disgusting. Yeah. But I'm messy. I'm not gross. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, no, no. That's me too.

I'm not an organized person. My closet's the worst. I just, it's everywhere. Somebody cleaning up my desk. I'm going to say, I'll say car. Not my new car, but the minivan. Oh. My truck's embarrassing.

Oh, that's bad. What's the worst career advice you've ever received? You should join Ramsey's. I'm just kidding. The worst career advice. Can I tell you what it is? Yes. Well, I've got one.

What's yours? Fake it till you make it. Why is that the worst? I just kind of feel like that's terrible. Why? Because if you go in and you're like, yeah, I can do that. Yeah, I can do that. Then you're in a position and people are pissed because you can't do your job.

And you're like, no, I think I can figure it out. And you can't because you don't know what you're doing because you faked it. So part of me is like, just own it. I don't know. Part of me is like, yeah, I'm really good at this. Struggle with that. But if you're like, yeah, I'm awesome at all. I'm awesome at all of this.

I'm awesome at all. I don't like fake it till you make it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it.

I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. Here's the worst career advice I've ever received. Don't look to move. Don't look to be grateful for your job. And so if you're an assistant director, naturally, after X number of years and you've put in, you've learned that skill set and and you've put in, you've

learned that skill set, and you have exceeded that position. You start looking for associate director jobs, whatever, and the advice I received was like, no, stay put. You're good. Yes. And that wasn't good advice. Okay, last one. Okay.

What's an office buzzword that drives you nuts? What's an office? I've got mine. What is it? Zoom, zoom. Something's going well. It went zoom, zoom. And I'm got mine. What is it? Zoom, zoom. If something's going well, they're like, it went zoom, zoom.

And I'm like, it doesn't. You know what? I can't. There's a lot. I have a lot of office buzzwords. Put the ball in the hoop. All of the office buzzwords

drive me crazy. I just hate office lingo. Can you guys pick one at Ramsey? 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, joined here by my good friend, Rachel Cruz, and we're taking your calls on money and life. Let's go to Dustin in Evansville, Indiana. Hey, Dustin, what's going on, man?

Hello, can you hear me? I can. Can you hear us? All right. Yes, I can. Excellent. So what's up, brother? I've been recently having car problems to a a point where the car is undriveable

and um we recently took it to um the ford dealership uh for them to look at it and they said it was a um something called a transmission control module and um the uh the part is under a recall so it's we don't have to pay anything for it um but they said that the the part is under a recall, so we don't have to pay anything for it. But they said that the part is on a back order, and it's to a point where people have been waiting months for this part. And they recently said that some of the people have been trading the car in because they've been waiting so long. And I'm looking to see, I I guess what is my best option um I guess my other option was to um to buy like a backup vehicle um or just wait it out and just use

our other vehicle my wife drove me around to work yeah have you gotten a second opinion um I have not. I would be curious in that. The only reason I say that, Dustin, is because we had an air thing that went out in our minivan, and we took it to Honda, and my husband took an Uber home from the dealership, and he was like, oh, you took it to the Steelership, did you? I was like, that's funny funny way to put it but i do wonder like if there's like a you know a mechanic who's not attached to a dealership if wait what kind of options he has i absolutely would do that what are you doing for transportation right now man

um my wife's just been driving me to work every day i work kind of like a hybrid where some days i'll go in and some days i'll just work from home. And since this is a recall, is there any sort of rental reimbursement or something since they've admitted that your car is not drivable because of our fault? Well, most of the dealership that I went to told us that there was no rental that would be available. And I've kind of been doing my research online to see what other people have had the same problem. And they've all kind of had that same answer.

And they've kind of just been waiting months for this part to come in. How much is the car, once it's fixed, how much will it be worth? It's probably around, I would say, $6,000 to $8,000. Okay. Is the dealership willing to give you that on a trade? I haven't asked about the trade yet.

That's kind of, I was just going to wait a little bit longer and see. I'm Rachel. I would absolutely. Here's, again, I don't want to throw any dealership under the bus, but I always look at who's going to make money off this deal, right? And I know a dealership makes money when they do a transaction. And I know a dealership makes money when they fix a car. Right.

And so if there's a way that they can encourage a transaction and encourage you to potentially take on a car payment and we'll give you 4,000 for it right now, go ahead and get you another car. It may be months and months. We don't know when you're going to be driving. I'm not saying that they're unethical or they're trying to steal from you. I'm just saying that the incentive is there. A mechanic who's just running a mechanic shop has one incentive. That's to fix your car so you'll pay them. I would go check that out first and see. I wouldn't even tell them about your experience

at the dealership yet. I would take my car there and say, hey, here's, or have it towed there and it's worth $120 to figure it out before you go do something worth thousands and thousands of bucks. And I'd go get a second opinion on that. And once it's fixed, Dustin, is it the kind of car that you've had issues with and you're like,

God, I kind of want to upgrade? Like, are you ready for, like, is that the next step? Or once it's fixed, you're like, oh no, I can drive it for another year or two. Well, it's only got 80,000 miles on it, so I'm sure it's got plenty of life still in it. Yeah. Yeah, I would, I mean, since the repair is free at the dealership and going getting a second opinion, I would just, I would wait it out if you could, even though it's super annoying. You know, with having one car.

But people do that all the time. So it's doable considering that the repair is going to be free. I'd also call the dealership man and see if you can get some sort of clothing. Credit even. Like a credit for something. I don't know. And I'm not saying all dealerships are stealers. That's what you said.

No. That's cool. I didn't mean to say that all over America. It was just a funny joke. It is. I thought it was funny. Threatening people's businesses. From the Uber driver.

I was like, that's a funny, that's a funny. All right, let's go to Chris in Cookville. Hey, Chris, what's going on? Hey, how are you? I have a question about potentially selling a business and kind of what your thoughts are on that. We have two mortgages, one for rental property, one for our primary home. And other than that, we don't have any other debt, but those are obviously sizable debts.

And a couple options for selling the business. One would be, in one scenario, we could potentially pay off both houses quickly at closing. Another scenario, one of the houses, we like the second scenario better because of the people. And I know you guys are all for small businesses. So I guess just kind of wondering what your thoughts are on all of that. Do you want to be out of this business? We kind of do, my wife and I, yes.

What does kind of mean? Well, we're fatigued from it, and we're kind of ready to be done with it. What does kind of mean? Yeah, are you in or out? Just say, dude, we want to sell this business. Or does she want to sell it and you want to keep it, or vice versa? Or, no, we're done. I'd say pretty much leaning towards no, we're done.

Kind of, pretty much. Are you in or out? I'd say out. Do you feel good about that? Yes, yeah. I guess that's really the purpose of the question. There are times I'm on the fence because I love the income from the business and the potential of where it could go. What do you want to do after you sell? Do you have a...

Well, we have some projects we'd like to work on and we would also stay on for a time. Or I would. I say we. So you would take a paycheck for a season? Yeah. While you figured out what paycheck for a season? Yeah. While you figured out what came next? Mm-hmm.

I don't know. If you want to quit the business and they're going to keep you on and pay your bills and you're going to be debt-free and have a free rental home, I'd sell it. I don't know what the concern is.

Here's the deal. Just because you miss it doesn't mean it's right. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? It's natural to miss it when you transition out of that. That's okay. You can date somebody for a long time and you break up and it's painful, even though the breakup

was the right thing to do. And you miss them and you miss laughing and you pick up your phone to call them, but you know that long-term that was the right thing to do. It could be very similar here. The real question is less about what we could do with this money. Like, do you want to be in this business or not, man? Yeah, yeah. And that's, I guess, the only reason it's not 100% knows because, well, there's just always that doubt. But I think my wife would be much happier if I was not.

And chances are my kids would be. Yeah. And I think, did you start the business, Chris, from the ground up? Yes. Yeah, so you're the business, Chris, from the ground up? Yes. Yeah, so you're the first generation business owner, and you guys naturally always are going to have it.

This is your baby, yeah. Yeah, you're going to have an emotional tie to it. But if it's kind of run its course, and you see other things out there in life that you're like, other things get you excited, and you built this thing, and you can sell it, and you can do some great stuff with the money, and then you can continue to live a great life and do other great stuff then that's awesome but if you love the business and you want to be in it and your wife still are good with it um you can totally stay

in it so you can also keep the business and sell the rental house that you can't afford and hire somebody to provide you some relief so you can spend more time with your wife and kids so you don't have to box yourself into an either or corner here, right? Yeah. So in the two scenarios for selling, the one where we could pay off. Yeah, so the second one it's the people you like.

So you have two offers basically. Yeah, and you like the second people better, is that right? You know them or you just feel better about that. But is it a worse offer? How much of a loss will you take if you did that versus the first? Well, the thing is, it's almost an equal amount, but it's structured differently.

Okay. Just a different amount at closing. And so the first one has a less favorable structure, but more closing. Okay. Yeah. so the first one has a less favorable structure but more closing okay yeah i mean if you just want to get out cash out obviously that's when you just take the money and go but if it's someone that you love and you're they're going to be your boss for three four years too then that might be the better end of the deal is that looking at the actual person but i guess it's what you guys and the ultimate the end game is for you is it the money or is it what your life's going to be like

in the next and you got to make a call brother and to be at peace. Make a call. Psalms 4, 8. In peace I will lie down and sleep. For you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety. Harry Kemp says, The poor man is not he who is without a scent, but he who is without a dream. Harry Kemp. All right, let's go to Kevin in Tampa, Florida.

What's up, Kevin? How we doing? Good. How are you guys? Thank you for taking to Kevin in Tampa, Florida. What's up, Kevin? How we doing? Good. How are you guys? Thank you for taking my call. You got it. What's up? Hey, so I just got engaged to my girlfriend or fiance now.

Nice. Congratulations. Congrats. Thank you so much. We're just trying to figure out how to prioritize saving up for the wedding as well as paying our debts. She has $10,000 total just in student loans and I have $29,000 and $9,000 in credit cards, which I plan to pay off by the end of this year and the rest of that in student loans. Okay. So what's your question um oh my question is um should i since i'm planning to um pay off

the credit card um and what what are your thoughts on kind of like putting a pause on my student loans while i save up for the wedding um we plan to have the wedding in 2024. So it's pretty far days out. Yeah. I mean, my answer may change now. I thought you guys would, you know, be getting married summer of 23 or something. I was like, if that's the case. Why are you waiting so long? Just because we wanted to get our finances right.

No. No. Kevin, just get married. Yeah, go to the JP today. Go. Congratulations, brother. You're married. You're fine. Yeah, go to the JP today. Go. Congratulations, brother. You're married. No, you don't need to.

You're fine. You guys, you're doing it. And you're going to do it so much faster and more motivated together when you're married. And you guys are, yeah, you don't feel like you have to get your finances or not before you're getting married or even having a baby. You're good. So I should save up for the wedding or we should save up for the wedding now? Yeah, I would do both.

I would simultaneously continue to pay off your debt, but I'm okay with you putting some cash aside, yes, for the wedding. I don't want you doing that for two years, though, Kevin. So I want you guys getting married. And y'all are broke. You don't need a $100,000 wedding that you're paying for yourselves. How much do y'all make a year? I make $65,000 wedding that you're paying for yourselves. How much do you guys make? How much do y'all make a year? I make $65,000, and she ranges.

Right now, she's a travel nurse, but she's planning on just getting a staff job early next year. Okay. So right now, she's probably making like $150,000, probably able to save up $20,000 by the end of this year, and then she's going to go to staffing, which is probably like around $80,000. Okay, awesome. So yeah, I would encourage you guys to get married sooner. Way sooner.

I would continue to work on your debt and your debt alone, so paying off your credit cards. Let her be working towards her $10,000 in student loans and then you guys have a total and say, hey, by this date, we would love to have this amount of money so we can start planning a wedding so that could be christmas of this year

whatever it is and so it may not be it's not going to be a huge wonderful thing with flowers everywhere it's gonna be wonderful it's gonna be wonderful but it yes it's gonna be tempered because you guys are paying for it and And that's great. That's great. People spend so much money on weddings. And I'm not mad at that. But man, we spend more effort and energy on that versus the marriage. So I'd rather get you guys married and have a decent, wonderful, beautiful wedding that you're paying for. And then you guys together at that point tackling the rest of this debt together.

Sounds good. Thank you so much, guys. You got it. And Rachel, I've not heard. I'm sure they exist. You may have some friends. I've not heard one person, not one, who went ahead and did a super lo-fi,

low-key wedding during the COVID years with the intention of, we're going to go ahead and get married now and we're going to throw a big party down the road. I've not heard one person say, I wish I could take that back. Not one. and then what's funny too is a lot of them don't even go back and do the big wedding it's like we're married we're married we're old and annoying we have money we want to go travel i don't want to be with your family anyway so we want to i've not heard one person say you know what i wish we'd spent a hundred thousand dollars and blown it out for these photos. Oh, my gosh. No, we had, Winston had, one of his best friends was getting married May of 2020.

It was a destination wedding. So we were all, we had everything booked. You know, we were going, Winston was in the wedding, the whole thing. And of course, you know. Cancel, cancel. And so we got a text from him and he was like, hey, tonight, get on Zoom at 6 p.m. So we get on Zoom at 6 p.m. And there's literally 200 people in the zoom

and it's just them two in the backyard both parents and then like a pastor and they just did it and now they're and now they're killing they have a baby now they're life's great oh they're just moving on and so there is weddings are wonderful i don't want to be the one of those people like you never need a wedding no weddings are fun and they're beautiful and they're exciting and you celebrate something beautiful in life i'm all for it but they are so they can be so overrated yeah yeah they can be so overrated

so Kevin get married Kevin get married wait till 2024 go now Kevin get married this weekend this weekend and send us the photos

if you send us the photos we'll both put them up yes Kevin if you get married this weekend both Rachel and I will post the photos we'll even do something else I don't know

we'll send you some gifts we'll blow this up Kevin have premarital counseling first Yes. Kevin, if you get married this weekend, both Rachel and I will post a photo. We'll even do something else. I don't know. Yes. We'll send you some gifts. We'll blow this up, Kevin. Have premarital counseling first. Do the responsible steps. That's enough for Rachel. Let's go to Debbie in Jacksonville.

What's up, Debbie? Hi, John. Hi, Rachel. Thanks for taking my call. Of course. What's up? My husband and I, we're in our mid-50s. We have our primary mortgage, and we have a home that we're currently using as a rental, that mortgage. Otherwise, we're debt-free. I am not sure where to focus our extra funds, on the primary mortgage or on the rental.

One caveat of the rental property is that eventually we'd like that to become our primary. It's in a retirement community that we love. We're just not ready to go there yet. Our primary mortgage is, we have about $320,000 left on it. The home is valued at about $550,000. Our rental property, we owe about $210,000 and its value is about $320,000. When are you going to retire? Probably 10 years. I'd focus on your primary first. No, the rental.

Okay. Debbie, I'd sell the rental. I know you don't want me to say that. Even though that's where they're going to live. But it's going to be 10 years. In a decade. In a decade. It's fair.

Fair, fair, fair. Good job, John. I would sell the rental and then you would owe $110,000 and you would knock that out in a few years and then you could start socking away cash. But the difference between now and 10 years, if you'd met the 10-year-ago John Deloney, that dude was a train wreck. I'm not super got it all together right now, but you should have met that dude.

That dude was nuts, right? Who knows what the world's going to look like in 10 years? I would not be paying 10 years worth of mortgage interest on half a million dollars for a decade. I just wouldn't do it. But that's me. If y'all just have to, have to, have to hang on to it, then it ends up becoming a debt, right? Well, yeah.

And in 10 years, Debbie, think about if you do all this, you pay it off, how much cash you guys are going to have freed up from your mortgage once you pay off your primary mortgage and investing all of it and then what your house currently will be worth, your primary and in 10 years, all of that together you guys could get something awesome and maybe a better location, a better community. Who knows what this community is going to look like in 10 years or be

I mean, yeah, there's so much. If you have kids, one of them is going to have twins and say, Mom, will you come live by us? Who knows what's going to happen in 10 years, right? That's just my thought on it. That's a long – if you're telling me two years or three years or something, then that's a totally different proposition there. Sure, sure. All right.

Well, thanks for your advice. Absolutely. Thanks, Debbie. Hey, hold on. Real quick before we hang up. How does that sound? You don't like that, do you? I know you don't, but tell me how that feels.

No, no. It feels okay. I've heard Dave talk previously about, you know, he doesn't really like rentals unless you can pay cash, and he usually gives the advice of selling the rental, and so I, in my heart, knew that that was the right answer, but I was just wondering if given the caveat that, you know, we were hoping to end up there, if that shed a different light on the situation. It did for me for about 0.5 seconds, but then I gave you terrible advice. Almost.

You almost got Rachel. I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no. Right, right. Yeah. Sorry, Debbie. That's it. You know in your heart, though.

And you know what? It's going to feel so good. It's going to feel so good when you throw that at your primary mortgage yeah because right now i mean you're looking at being done right well actually she said it's worth 300 right so there are 350 so but i mean like 130 so close at it like it's yeah i'd much rather do that for sure in 10 years you never know what's gonna happen so all right hey. Hey, Rachel, thank you for hanging out today. Great show. Great show, John.

Thanks. I want to thank Austin, Kelly, James, Ben, Zach, Andrew, Will. Kelly's not even here. I even think you, Will. It's good to see you showing up here

at the last minute. Thank everybody. Thank you, America, for joining us. Listen, take care of each other. Be kind out there and we will see you soon.

Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600 plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash show.