The Ramsey Show - App - You’re Literally Flushing Money Down the Toilet (Hour 1)

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

Jade Warshaw & Rachel Cruze answer your questions and discuss: "Should we pause the baby steps to prepare for a baby?"  from the blog: Your Top Debt Snowball Questions Answered Renting vs. buying when you're in the military, "Where do I go after baby step 2?" Adjusting and sacrificing lifestyle instead of going into debt, "Should I move out of my parents' house?" Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Take our FREE 3 minute assessment: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving in storage studio, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm your host, Jade Warshaw, and I am joined today by my friend, Rachel Cruz. So good to be here with you, Jade. It's great. It's so good. We're taking your calls today. We're talking about your life, your money. Hey, we're both moms, so if we have any moms that want to call in with any questions,

the number is 888-825-5225. We're here for you, America. All right, let's go to the phone lines. We got Benjamin in San Antonio, Texas. What's going on, Benjamin? Hey, so my wife and I, we just started Baby Step 2, and we are also expecting our first baby. Oh, congratulations. Yay, so fun. Thank you, and less than two months. So the question is, you know, my job, I make pretty good money, but I'm a chauffeur, and so I'm not exactly an independent contractor, but I don't get vacation, and I don't get any kind of pay time off. Okay.

So the question is, when the baby comes, I want her to take a week off to help with the wife, because there's first kid, and any kind of complications, we don't know what's going to happen. Right. And that's a good point. But in order to take a week off, I have to set aside enough money to cover the income I'm going to lose. Which basically means pausing that debt snowball for the next six to eight weeks. Up to, you know, depending on,

because my income changes every month, depending on commissions, you know, what I get. But the question is, is that a good idea? Yeah, I mean, when it comes to the baby steps, when it comes to the debt snowball, we do, you know, recommend pausing until baby comes. We call that stork mode. And it's kind of just making sure we have as much money saved up as possible, right,

Rachel, for anything that might happen with the baby. I mean, God willing, your baby's going to come. It's going to be healthy, beautiful, everything perfect. But it is nice to have that money saved up for anything that might come up with hospital charges. And in this case, if you need to stay home for an extra week or whatever that time is, now's the time for you guys to start stacking that money up. And so if you're pausing the debt snowball or pausing whatever baby step that you're on for that time, that's totally fine. Yeah, absolutely. And Benjamin, we would recommend that for you guys to pause

that even if you weren't taking time off work or even if you were on a salary still making money. So yeah, for anyone listening, that's exactly right. We pause the debt snowball, save up cash while you're waiting on baby. Once baby and mom comes home, that's great. Press play. Use all that money that's saved if you have if you didn't need it and throw it at the debt. So for your case, Benjamin, then that's great. I would set aside a specific amount of money for that week since you're going to take that off.

And you guys kind of plan around that. But, yeah, you're doing it exactly right. How does that sound, Benjamin? That sounds good. Awesome. Congratulations. Hope everything goes well. Very, very cool. That's a really good call out, Rachel. I think a lot of times people forget that, oh, like when that's happening, you can pause and take that quick break. Yeah. And we say that too, even with big life changes, right? If you know you're going to be relocating or moving jobs and it's like, yeah, we need some to have some cash for moving expenses, right? If you know that there's a big life change coming, that is a time that we say, Hey, if you need a pause, save up some money. And even for cars, you know, we, we talk to people and their car breaks down. It's not worth anything.

It's, you know, they, they have to pay more to get it fixed. And so they're like, oh my gosh, what do I do? Then we're like, okay, pause and make sure those four walls are covered. So again, the gazelle intensity is so important, but also planning for those big life events that are going to happen through the babysit process. Even health. If something comes up with your major illness, you're not able to work. So it's really good to call out those times where it is all right. We're

not going to yell at you. As a matter of fact, we're going to cheer you on if you do pause the baby steps. Let's take another call. We've got Devon. Am I saying that right? Devon in Jacksonville? Devon. Devon. You know, I had to put a little swag on it, Devin. I'm sorry about that. That's all right. I was wondering, too. Devon. It's just Devin. How can we help you, Jay? How can we help you? All right.

So I'm in the military, and I just got orders to go out across the country to Washington State. And my orders right now will keep me there for at least two and a half years. And my wife and I are wondering if it kind of what's a break even or the worth it to rent versus buy a house? Yeah, it's a great question. Well, first, thanks for your service for you and your wife, because that's a that's a huge sacrifice. So thank you for that. Yeah, if you're relocating, especially people in the military that are moving so much, we don't recommend buying. So renting is great because as we experience right now, and even in the last 18, 24 months, how crazy real estate has been,

the market has been. So those ups and downs, we're still feeling that. And so we don't want you caught up buying high. And then if something happens and you're gone, you have to sell for less or whatever it is. So five years or more is where I feel comfortable with someone purchasing a home and being in it. It's enough time to kind of ride the market. But if you're going to just be there two and a half years, Devin, yeah, I would just rent. I would too.

What do you think about that, Devin? How does that hit you? We bought a house here in Jacksonville and we've been in it for just over five years and we've got it paid off, fully paid off. Oh, wow. Congratulations. Thank you.

That's kind of where we were at. That's kind of what we were thinking is, you know, you buy the house, and if you, I mean, you can break either on it, and then you're still money ahead of renting because renting is kind of like a 100% interest loan, in my opinion. Yeah, I understand. But also, you know, buying a home, it's one of the largest assets that majority of people buy. And so I want you to just be thinking through to make sure, okay, are we going to get out better on the other end? And again, it's just the fact that the timeframe is so short is where that comes into play. Will you guys be moving back to Jacksonville after you go to Washington, do you think? There's a really good chance that I could

because the community that I'm in is kind of based out of there, but there's no guarantees. Okay. With that paid off home that you have, I mean, when it's time to move, if you guys sell it, you can keep that money,

high interest savings account and just continue to grow that nest egg. And then when you get someplace stable, you're going to have a lot of money to work with and probably be able to buy something again, totally in cash. I mean, that's exciting to me. What do you think about that? Sounds good to me. All right, Devin, thanks for your call. You know, that's a really good point. A lot of people, you know, they're not really sure what the parameters are around saving up for a house. And then how long do you keep the house? And if you're moving, should you sell the house or can you rent out the house? I feel like that's a really good topic. Yes, we talk about that a lot.

Yeah, we never recommend being a long distance landlord. Oh, gosh, that sounds like the worst. I know. It's a it's a it's a headache. I mean, it really is. And so for some people, Devin didn't say this, but in his case, we've heard things like this of like, okay, I'll keep my house, rent it out and all of it. And it ends up, it just ends up being a mess. I mean, how can you oversee that? If you're, I mean, he's literally across the country, not saying that he was gonna do this, but a lot of people might think,

oh, I'm coming back to the house later, let's rent it out. But you really can't manage your property from across the country. No, yeah, you'd be probably paying a property manager and all of it. And it's just the hassle. And so we always say, yeah, just kind of have that clean slate. And then you'll have the cash. That's right.

From the equity if it's not fully paid off or all of it if it is paid off. And that's your money. And you may make a different decision with that amount of money. That's right. If you had it and to say, hey, Jade, would you go buy a house in Oklahoma City with this money right now? Absolutely not. Nope, probably not. So that's how you have to think about it, too.

Yeah, it's exciting. He can keep that money. If he's going to keep it more than five years, he could invest it for a while and let it grow even more. If he's planning on using it for less than five years, then he should keep it in a high-yield savings account. So that's what we would do. This is The Ramsey Show. you're listening to the ramsey show hey give us a call today the number is triple eight eight two five five two two five we'll take questions about whatever it is you guys want to talk about. We will talk about that on the air live with

you. So we're going to take a call now. We're going to go to John in McClellan, Texas. What's going on, John? McKayla in Texas. Hi. So my question is, so I'm basically, I'm kind of all over the place here.

So I have, I'm almost done paying off my credit card debt because I'm basically, I'm kind of all over the place here. So I have, I'm almost done paying off my credit card debt because I'm 22. So I just got my credit cards. I have like a $200 debt. So I'm going to pay that down. And actually a lot of that's going to be returned because I returned some items. So I was just wondering, and I have 200 in savings, but I was just wondering, like, where do I go from here? Like to just really build like to build upon that and like when do i start investing and actually had investments but i sold them

because i think it didn't emergency fund first before i invest any smart at all so just where do i go from here and also i am on ssi so just so know, I can't really save in a savings account because if I saved too much in a savings account, they'll take that away and I'll lose my health insurance. So what do I, you know, what do I do? And I do make, well, $19,321 a year. And my job is through cohorts, so I'm not actually employed by the company, but I get paid through Texas Workforce. So it's like a program. So that's kind of like my financial stuff so if you could just help me lead me in the right direction. Cool cool so let's go back to this debt real quick so the is the only debt that 200 in credit cards or is there more? Well no well I owe so it's 216 in credit cards and then $148 to just a friend of mine.

Okay, so $348 total? Yes, but as I mentioned, $133 of the credit card debt is going to go off because I made a return. Okay, that's great. So it'll be like $80 in credit card debt. Okay, great. That's great, John. I mean, there's no car loans, no student loans, no anything. No, no, no. I live at home, all those things. Very good. Well, you're in a great spot, John. I feel very encouraged by this because you're going to be able to take care of this debt

really quickly because that is what we talk about getting a thousand dollar emergency fund. Do you have any savings besides the $200? Because you said you cashed out some investments no no no other savings besides 200 about to be 300 here soon but yeah no no other savings well i have some gold and stuff in the safe but that's about it or silver not gold sorry okay did you have investments though that you said you you cashed out yeah i cashed out um yeah i sold them so how much cash did you get from those 116 dollars oh okay that that that's why it's that that's part of the 200 and and the golden the gold and silver did you say gold and silver or just gold no just just so just no just silver made a mistake. I wish I had gold. Well, how much?

What's the value of that? I think it's just like 20 bucks. It's just a silver dollar. Oh, okay. Okay. So hold on to that. Keep it someplace real. Keep it in your top sock drawer.

That's right. So let's just walk through these baby steps just so you understand what the path is going forward. Because as of right now, Rachel just talked about baby step one, and you're just going to start saving for that thousand dollars to get it saved, right? And then from there, we're going to pay off this little bit of credit card debt that you have.

You're going to be able to, hopefully you can cashflow all of this with one like payment cycle, which I think you can. And then from there, it's baby step three. We want to get three to six months saved up. In your case three months might do it um if you're looking to move out anytime soon maybe make it a little bit more so you have a little bit more to jump off into living on your own when the time comes and

then from there baby step four we're putting away 15 into retirement and i think for now that's a good place for you to kind of land and just kind of get your bearings in those first four baby steps. How does that sound? That sounds good. Yeah. Hey, John, tell me about your job. I was a little bit confused. Will you walk me through what your plan is? You're 22. You're living at home. You're making $19,000 a year. What's your aspirations when it comes to careers? So I want to, I'm going to go to college in the summer. I want to major in business and major in computer science. Okay, great. Good for you.

How are you going to pay for that? So because of my disability, because I am legally blind, so because of that, I can get a lot of it paid by Texas Workforce. Yeah, cool. John, great job. So it's done as I pass. Yeah, absolutely. Well, that's incredible.

Absolutely incredible. Yeah, so we are cheering you on to get scholarships and to be able to get that degree and make some big income coming in, even more than what you're making now, and start saving and doing all this. And John, one of the best things going for you, number one, is that you care. There's such a level of personal responsibility you can hear from him. And he wants to do this well.

And I think you're at a really good spot, John, to do this really well. Like Jade was saying, even with your numbers, I'm like, oh, you could get that cleaned up so quickly. And that's exciting for me on this end, John, to encourage you in that, because I think you're going to be able to get through these baby steps. And and kudos to you, too. John, let me just say that. Twenty two years old.

Yeah. Oh, he's not letting anything hold him back. No, he's not. So well done, John. Thanks for calling in. No excuses. Let's take another call. We got Adam in Gill done, John. Thanks for calling in. No excuses. Let's take another call. We got Adam in Gillette, Wyoming. What's going on, Adam? How can we help?

Yeah, I just had a quick question about the baby steps. So my wife and I are, we're in baby step two. And I'm looking at doing a career change from being a teacher to being an administrator. And for that, we would end up having to move. So I've already interviewed for the administrator position and we would end up having to move about three and a half hours away if I were to get it. So I was just curious, do I need to, if I should be looking to stop Baby Step 2 or put it on hold for a while if that offer comes down the pipe to save up and pay for the move? Or do we just kind of keep going at it and then just kind of hope to use the equity from our house on the move? Yeah, Adam, that's a really good question. If I were you, and this is also

what we teach, again, another time to pause the baby steps and make sure that you can stack up money and prepare for the move because you're going to want to use whatever equity from the home to roll into your next home purchase. And can I just tell you from experience, it is expensive to move. So stack up as much money as you can because there's always, I mean, really sit down with your wife and start budgeting out all of the costs, anything that you can possibly foresee. Now is a good time to start pricing out the different moving and storage. Matter of fact, it's a good time to take a look at pods moving and storage, you know, and see what they have. I know they've got really great promos offered all the time. So yeah, definitely pause the baby

steps, stack up that money and then, you know, see how it goes from there. Yeah, and I would get, yeah, definitely, I would check out pods. And if there's other things, other companies you're willing to look at, get kind of a roundabout, you know, estimates of what you think it's going to, what the move is going to take. And then I would make that my next goal to have that money saved so that when the time comes to move, it's like, okay, that money's there for it. And Adam, you guys may even surpass that amount of money. And if you do, then you guys can press play on Baby Step 2 and keep knocking out that debt. But I do want you to have some money stacked away to be able to cash flow that move. So yeah, I would go and look at

some estimates and kind of have that number in your head, you and your wife, and save up to that. And then beyond that, continue down Baby Step 2. I love that. What do you think, Adam? That sounds, that sounds good. That's actually what I was thinking. I was kind of thinking it was like, like you guys teach when you're having a kid, it would be a time to stack it up, but I just wasn't a hundred percent sure on how we should do it. I mean, we're, we're only three months into the baby steps, so it's kind of. It's new. Yeah. And the, and, and the hard thing is that for so many people, especially if you guys are on baby step two, and you're kind of in it, and you're feeling the progress, it's like, oh, to pause it, sometimes it's like you don't want to lose the momentum, so there's a little bit of me that's always like,

man, don't pause it, but you want to be wise. You know, you don't want to be caught to be like, oh my gosh, I have this great new job, and I have to move, and I have no cash, you know, so you want to be wise in the process. But also keep that gazelle intensity going as you're saving up for the move. Absolutely. And that will help too. Oh man. And I actually posted a reel on social because

we just moved from South Florida here to Tennessee in September. Just when you think there's no more cost, something else happens. And it's just like oh gosh I didn't think about that so as much as you can write everything out try to prepare because as I said just when you think it's finished something else will pop up and it's like oh my gosh but it's so much peace when you're prepared for it so yes I love that You are listening to The Ramsey show I'm your host Jade Warshaw joined by Rachel Cruz this is fun Rachel I'm

enjoying hosting I know and we were together last night at the Building Wealth Indianapolis event. Sold out. Totally sold out. Yes, over 2,000 people, and it was such a great night. It was so fun. And here we are working.

I know, look at this. George Camel, he's probably home asleep. I mean. He's getting that good sleep, Rachel. We are. We're working hard. We're keeping the ship afloat. We are. And can I just say, the getting that good sleep, Rachel. We are. We're working hard. We're keeping we're keeping the ship afloat. We are.

And can I just say the people of Indianapolis, such great people. I was just telling someone today. Yes, I was telling someone earlier. I'm like, man, I don't know what it is, but they were just kind and wonderful. And yeah, so it was fun. It was a fun event. I'm excited. Next week will be in Austin doing the same building wealth live event.

Rachel, are you on that one? I'm not on that one. Are you? I am. I, so you're going out next week? Yes, it is myself, Dave Ramsey, Ken Coleman, and John Deloney. Oh, Jade, I'm sorry I won't be there for female support. I'm the lone female. Guys, somebody needs to come get me because this is going to be, it's going to be fun. That's so great. Yeah, I'll be in Salt Lake City in April with George, Christina Ellis, and Dave Ramsey. And then we have Anaheim, California, which I think is May 3rd. Yes.

Does that sound right? Yep. And so that's going to be Dave Ramsey, John Deloney, Ken Coleman, and Christina Ellis. So you can get all your tickets there at those cities at ramseysolutions.com. So make sure to come out. Get them fast because these things

are selling like hotcakes. So get these tickets it's so exciting all right rachel there's something that's been floating around people have sent it to me in my dms i come in this morning to an email from james childs our producer guys credit card debt it is just going bananas okay it says as credit card debt hits an all-time high. All-time. Hold on. Just shy of a trillion with a T. And that's just credit card debt, Jay. That's not car loans. That's not student loans. That's nothing. Credit card debt. It says in the final three months of 2022, it's hit an all-time high delinquencies among borrowers obviously have accelerated i mean

it makes sense we're taking out more debt we can't afford the debt and now we're defaulting on the payments it says balances grew 61 billion billion in the fourth quarter from previous uh from the previous one to 986 billion wait that is unbelievable it jumped from 61 billion to 986 billion dollars wait that is unbelievable it jumped from 61 billion to 986 billion so much i'm so much sorry i'm really just taking this in because it's ridiculous and here it says u.s household debt jumped to a record 16.90 trillion from October through December last year, the largest quarterly increase in 20 years as mortgage and credit card balances surged amid high inflation and rising interest rates. All right. And let's just say this, because usually people are talking about the interest rates on mortgages, they're talking about the housing market. Yeah, the interest rates

on your credit cards, you guys, are going up. And and here's the deal and here's why we keep saying to have that emergency fund in place and figure out your income minus expenses needs equal zero living on a zero-based budget and all that because if you don't have a plan for your money jade you know who has a plan the credit card companies yes they do yes they do and they are prepared for this you guys they are ready to be your emergency fund yes that on top of fees and interest and then people can't pay the credit card bills and and it ends up being a massive a massive problem and so that's why they're dangerous that's why people are always like you don't just carry one you don't i'm I'm like, no, play with snakes. You're going to get bit. You're going to get bit. No, no.

Stay away, you guys. And figure out a way that you are your emergency fund. Yes. And not the credit card companies and the banks. And I mean, with these interest rates, Rachel, the average interest rate now, 20%. On credit cards? On credit cards. 20%.

That's out of control. And here's the thing. Here's the way my brain works i'm thinking okay if you're using your credit card to buy daily things because you're not on a budget because here's the thing a lot of people are they do they keep their credit cards there for emergencies but then there's that sect of people who's like okay i'm not really on a budget i'm not really watching where my money is going so there's this gap at the end of the month or midway through the month.

And I'll just use the credit cards to float me when I go to the grocery store or heaven forbid, when you go to a restaurant and eat dinner and you're scanning your credit card for a meal that's going to be gone, Rachel, in about four to six hours. Okay, so you're literally flushing money down the drain.

Yes. You're flushing it down the toilet. And here's the big thing. We were talking about inflation last night at the event. And all of the numbers that are coming out are saying on average, food is up. Yes. 9.8%, 10%. And it feels more than that.

Eggs are up like 60% or something crazy. So I know there are certain products that are up more. But here's the deal. If you don't have that margin when this inflation hits, that needs to be your wake up call to say, wow, if I have a 10% change in something and it is knocking me out to depend on credit cards, then your whole financial picture needs to look different, you guys. And that's not to shame you. That's not to say, oh my gosh, you're so stupid, all that. No. It is to be able to say, man, what I am doing is not working. Yeah. It's a symptom of something greater, right, Rachel?

That's right. That's exactly right. And you know this, Jade, I mean, we talked about this even last night again, but just the lifestyle that we choose to live, regardless of whether there's money in the bank or not, continues, continues to be at this level. And you can't just be at that level if you don't have the money and the credit cards are filling in that gap. And it's getting people in so much trouble. You guys, we are walking around in such financial bondage to have what? To have the nice dinner out, to have the purse, and I would say to have the food. It's not worth it. To have the food, sure.

To have the food. And all of it. But again, if you have a $700 car payment leaving, if you have your student loan payment leaving, then yeah. You have no money. You're giving away. You have no money, you guys. It's the whole picture.

We want you to wake up. It is the whole picture. And we want you guys free from that. That's why we do this show. We want to help guide you and show you there is such a better way to live with your money. And you're a true testimony to that, Jade. I was just thinking about that. And I do want to hit that because I know there are people listening right now that are like,

Jade, Rachel, yes, you're right. The people who are spending credit card money to buy steak. Bad, bad, bad. But I'm just trying to pay my bills. I'm trying to keep the lights on. And I, I hear that because there were, there was a stretch of time because Sam and I had over 20,000 in credit card debt, just so y'all know. And there was a stretch of time that we weren't working. We were in between jobs. And we, when I tell you we had close to zero dollars coming in and we were using credit cards to try to like fill in the gaps the worst idea ever and we thought oh

we'll just do this it's just temporary and then you know when we get when we get back on our feet or when we get working again we'll pay it all off and that is such a vicious cycle because you're just creating more debt for the you know you're creating more debt that you can't pay because you're just creating more debt for that you know you're creating more debt that you can't pay because you don't have any money that's right and the best thing that you can do when you're in a situation where money is low right because income is not enough is to go out and just get more work and and and don't be too far above any form of work yes because i think that there's a can I just be honest? I think some people are like, no, I'm too good to work at the mall or I'm too good to

deliver pizzas or I'm too good to take that. To drive Uber or whatever it is. But you've got, whatever it takes to not take on debt, that is noble. And there is so much dignity in saying, I am going to pay my own bills. I am going to make my own way. I am not going to do this with high interest. Because let me tell you something, just because you take out high interest debt

does not make you a more interesting person. It just makes you more broke. So there is dignity to that. But I hear the person who's like, man, I'm just trying to make ends meet. And if that's you, the best thing I can encourage you to do, get on a budget, focus on the four walls,

and find any work that you can just because it's probably just temporary. That's right. And just close that gap up. The worst thing that you can do in a time like that is depend on credit cards, especially at the tune of 20 percent interest. All right. That's right. I know you keep kind of digging into that hole and it gets deeper and deeper and the deeper it is, the more time and the more effort on the other end you're going to have to do to climb your way out. That's right. So stay, keep your head above water. And like you're saying, Jade, yes, that extra income, bring it. And there's so many side hustles right now in

life. Yes, there is. And it's not going backwards. It's actually propelling you to go forward in life to take control of your income. So you guys, you can do this. We hear stories day in and day out with our jobs of people that decide to make a change. And they're not going to be these stats anymore of the highest credit card debt that we've seen yet in history. So don't be a stat either. Don't be a stat. And if you've got credit card debt working into your debt snowball, list them out smallest to largest, make minimum payments on all of it, and throw any and all extra money at the smallest debt and move with speed and intensity to get it paid off. This is The Ramsey Show. thanks for being with us you're listening to the ramsey show i'm jade warshaw your co-host and i'm

here with rachel cru. This is a great time. Hey guys, if you've got calls, we want to take your calls. The number here is 888-825-5225. And let's take a call, Rachel. Let's see what Megan is talking about in Dallas, Texas. What's going on, Megan?

Hi, Jade. Hi, Rachel. So, I just graduated with my Master's in August. However, my mother passed away in June. Oh, I'm so sorry. And yeah, I've been living with him for some time because I had a problem. I've been sober for seven years. So I was like living with him while I was going to school. And now I have my new job and I'm making like $60,000 a year. I have a car payment and I have some credit card debt. I also have $15,000 cash and 27,000 in retirement. Um, the thing is, is like, I, I feel like I'm not really intentional with my money because I still live with my dad. Um,

do I still kind of feel like a perpetual 18 year old. Cause I'm like, ah, it's okay. I pay my credit cards off every month, but I use my credit card so much that it's like, I don't save any money. And so I was thinking like, I probably ought to just move out to like get more serious and independent with my money.

However, part of me doesn't want to leave him right now because it hasn't even been a year since my mom passed away. What's her passing? Was it sudden Megan or was it, um, she was, she was sick since like 2021. Um, she was doing really well. And then she went to the hospital and all this other stuff and she got COVID and then her organs started shutting down oh my gosh so yeah it was like really really crappy um so it was kind of sudden like me and my dad both believed that she would get better um unfortunately that's not what God had planned. But like, I just don't

know because like my dad has never lived on his own. He has seven brothers and sisters to went straight to the army and then him and my mom got married while they were both in the army. So it's like, it's hard because I don't want to just leave him with no one. You know, number one, I'm so sorry. That sounds just unthinkable. It's so tough navigating a loss like that. And, you know, I'm just thinking about in a lot of situations, especially dealing with money, we would tell people not to move quickly, you know, take time to grieve and take time to adjust to this change. And I feel

like in the same situation, it applies. I don't feel like you need to be in a rush to do anything. Like you said, it hasn't even been a year. It hasn't been a long span of time. I'm okay with you doing whatever you need to do to process this, if that's staying at home a little bit longer, um, while you're there, I do think it's important that you think about a plan of what's going to happen next. Yeah.

You know, cause I like, I got the every dollar app and I'm like looking at my spending and I'm like, holy crap, girl, like you're nuts with money. Oh, you're not, I'm not, holy crap, girl, like you're nuts with money. Oh, you're not. I'm not.

You're not nuts, Megan, with money. That's that. Yeah. But you are a daughter who lost her mom. And so that that brain fog, the processing that that has to go through, what you go through, it's a lot. And so was there probably some spending you did maybe to feel better and to feel good? And was there a level of that maybe? I'm not sure.

Possibly you could say yes or no to that, but I don't want you to sit there and just absolutely wring yourself out on this. I mean, you've gone through a tragedy. And so I think you're starting to kind of come out of it the way you're talking and you're kind of seeing, okay, I need to kind of get into, I need to get my money in under control i need to start looking and to see okay how can i be an adult uh but yet here's my grieving dad over here but i would say with that relationship

to megan um you know we love our parents and honor them but also he can't be your responsibility you can't be the thing that saves him because then that's how you're going to spend your entire life and he has to be able to do that work on his own and he may he may grieve and feel lonely and all that and you can be a great daughter and walk beside him and maybe there's still a season like jade said that you don't move out right now right maybe it's all still feels fresh and you're like i want to get a few things under my belt. And so I'm going to stay here and maybe have a date that you talk to him about to say, hey, dad, I'm looking at this and be honest with him and say, dad, I'm nervous to leave. I don't want to

leave you. I feel bad leaving you. And you guys talk through that. But also, I want you to know, Megan, you know, you, you can't, he can't be your, you can't be his responsibility. He can't be your responsibility. There can't be that, that codependence there. There kind of has to be that breaking that you do have to stand on your own at some point. But again, you don't have to rush that. We're not telling you to rush it, but I do want you to think about that. You're not a bad daughter or you're not being mean or cruel. If you say, man, I need to get my own apartment and start really doing my life this way and all of that. That is not

negligent or cruel. Because you're both going to grieve in different ways. Yes, for sure. And that time process is going to be different for both of you. So you might be at a point where it's like, okay, I feel like I'm coming out of this fog a little bit. I feel like I'm ready to, you know, go to this next stage. And he might still be feeling like, oh, like, I could really use somebody here at the house. But you know, that's when it's going to be time to have those tough conversations. I do like that you're looking at your money, and that you're realizing that something's going to have to change in order for you to stand on your own when that time comes. And I love that you're looking at, are you using every dollar? Yeah, I like, so I'm 30, you know what I mean? And like, I'm still single and I'm like,

I wouldn't want to be a 30 year old man still living at home. Sure. So that's like, yeah. Yeah. you know yeah it's like I'm 30 I don't want to be like 40 having my first child right so like so it's like six and one half a dozen and the other because it seems like almost every day for him is a bad day still yeah has he done do you guys have a great church a good good pastor or a therapist or anyone speaking into this process of your mom's loss? Yeah, he goes to church every Sunday with my aunt. And then also, I got him to go to grief share. That's great. Good, good. At a local church. And I'm like, trying to ease in the counseling thing. Like he said, probably he might ought to.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because I mean, the big goal too, I feel like I sound like Dr. John Deloney a little bit, but to become whole people through this journey as well, Megan, right? There can be that level of healing. And so for you, that may look like the next step is to say, hey, dad, I'm going to sit down and here's the dates, you know, by May of this year.

Here's what my plan is. And I still want to be there for you and still support you where I can. And then Megan, as you're calling in for this show specifically with your money, like what Jade was saying, and then you start, you can even start now working the baby steps. You can start now. You have the EveryDollar app. Start looking at all your credit card debt, list it out, list out the car, keep your retirement, don't cash it out, but you have $15,000 of cash, which is wonderful. That's a big step. Yep, to throw some of that at the debt. Start getting some of these quick wins with your money.

And that's also going to breed a level of confidence for you to maybe even say, okay, I can do this and step out and start living on my own and really taking that turn. Because you can, Megan. You can do this. You definitely can. And in EveryDollar, one of my favorite features, Megan, is the financial roadmap. And you can plug in all your numbers and you can actually start to see the date that you'll be debt-free, the date that you'll have three to six months of savings. And that's something that will build a lot of confidence and help you to see, okay, what would happen if I were to put more on my debt? What would happen if I were to put less on my debt? So you can really customize

that timeline so that this can become a reality for you moving forward. Yeah. And hang on the line, Megan, because we'll give you and your dad two separate codes to have Financial Peace University for a year year because I would love him to maybe go through it as well on his own because like you said he's never lived on his own he's always had someone with him and so giving him a little bit of boost in this area of his life we would love to gift both of you that so Austin will pick up and also own your past change your future yes yeah throw one of those in, too. Throw two of those in, guys, for both of them. Because we do. We want to see you and your dad do really well out of this really excruciating, terrible loss.

I'm so sorry, Megan. I'm glad you called in. That was a tough call. I appreciate you guys joining us for today. That does it for today's show. Be sure to join us next time when it comes to changing your money. You can tell me you won't do it, but please don't tell me you can't. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, what's up, guys? It's Jade. If you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsey way. Just go to ramsesolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter. Again, that's ramsesolutions.com to sign up for our weekly newsletter.