Live Like a Girl with Dr. Mindy Pelz - How to Connect With Your Soul and Wake Up to Who You Really Are - With Deidre Sirianni

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

For full show notes, resources mentioned, and transcripts, go to: www.drmindypelz.com/ep146/. To enroll in Dr. Mindy's Fasting membership, go to: resetacademy.drmindypelz.com. This episode covers the best methods for accessing your intuition as a tool to navigate challenges and transform your life. Deidre Sirianni is an International Best Selling Author and the Founder of Radically Aligned Academy, where Visionaries come to master their inner world to make a bigger impact in the world with their gifts. Her latest book, Turn Your Light On, has been birthed into the world to help you wake up to who you really are and overcome obstacles and self-sabotage that are blocking you from living in your purpose. Please see our medical disclaimer.

I truly believe that this is the most valuable thing that we can develop, is actually trusting our intuition and our instincts and taking action on it. Resetters, Dr. Mindy here, and I am on a mission to teach you just how powerful your body was built to be. This podcast is about giving you the power back and helping you believe in yourself again. Let's jump in. on this episode of the Resetter podcast, I bring you Deidre Sirianni. This is a really different conversation that we have not had on this podcast in a really long time. So let me tell you a little bit about Deidra and then I'm going to tell you about what we talked about and what you can expect.

So she is a TEDx speaker. She is an author. The book we talk about is called Turn Your Light On. It's an amazing book. And I'll explain why here in a moment. And you'll hear us reference it a lot in here. She's also a coaching and a mentor. And she believes that the path to fulfillment and living the life of your dreams comes down to three crucial steps and how deeply you embody them.

So we go through those steps. And we go through how do you decide if you are on purpose with your life? This is a huge question that I think all of us have tackled whether we're aware of it or not. And what I really loved about her teachings and why I wanted to bring her on is that there definitely is a path as we move through life where our soul is screaming to do something different. And our mind is telling us we have all these responsibilities. and there becomes conflict. And in that conflict, suffering can occur. And over the last couple of years, you know, there's so much in the world right now where people are redefining their relationships,

they're redefining their jobs, they're redefining their health. I mean, it's such a, to me, it's such an amazing time to be alive because what the pandemic did is it was such a huge pattern interrupt for so many people that we are asking deeper questions of ourselves. And in navigating new worlds, I think it's really important that we answer the very simple but complicated question, which is, who are we? What are we here for? And this is something I've been going through this year for my own self and finding some incredible answers. So in this episode, you'll hear Deidre walk you through. some really cool principles, such as how do you know if your soul is talking to you or your mind is

talking to you? Where can you quiet the noise so you can hear what your soul is desiring more than what your mind is telling you to do? How do you align yourself with joy? What do you do when there's so much chaos in your life? How do you see through that? How do you trust decisions that you make? And we end up talk at the end of it, we talked about what are the four stages of turning your light on. Now, you can interpret this in a lot of different ways. You, the question, the way I listened to her four stages is when you move from a place where you say, I'm going to take back control of my health, I'm going to take back control of my life, I'm going to start living from a place that is serving me, not pleasing everyone else.

it's scary. How do you navigate that road? And these four stages of turning your light on, which is at the end of the podcast, they're pretty profound. They're easy to comprehend. She's a great storyteller throughout the whole podcast. You're going to hear her tell some incredible stories that are so great at helping us all integrate her teachings. But I really loved how we ended it, which was, okay, if you're resonating with what she's saying, now how do you take this information and move it into action? So hopefully you all know, I love bringing you guests and content that move not only your physical health forward, but your mental health. And I would say this episode is about your soul health. And the reason

that soul health is so important is because if we're not listening to the soul, the physical and the mental health will fall. And this is such a cool conversation on a how we can start listening to our souls again. So as always, I hope you love this as much as I enjoyed chatting with Dider. Yeah, so Dider, thank you for being here. I just, I really appreciate you coming to the Resetter podcast. Now, I cannot wait to have this conversation with you. So let me start off by just welcoming you and thank you for being here. Yeah, thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. And I also really love your book. I'm, I mean, as a fellow author, I'm also an avid reader.

I always have been my whole life. And I like physical books. Me too. So let me tell you a couple of things. I don't know if you planned it this way in your book that like really I love is how you take out key phrases and you bolded them. I love this. Like what you resist and avoid continues to control your life and leak your energy. And I'm like, yes, this because what I do with books like this is I highlight them.

them and then in my meditation time in the morning, I'll just pick them up and read them and I'll just read the highlights. And the way that this book is written is there's so many nuggets that just pop out at you. Did you do it on purpose that way? Well, so I'm the kind of person where when I read a book, I study the book. I underline things. I highlight it. I put the little tabs everywhere. So the way you are reading my book and what you're doing is exactly what I do with books. But also, I like to simplify things for people. A lot of what I talk about in my book are things that I've experienced or I've been learning for the past 10 years. And a lot of the teachers and the things I've been through, they were super complicated.

And it's like, let's simplify this. Let's make it easy so that we can actually step away from each chapter with changing a part of our life or our perception and taking some sort of action rather than reading the book and being like, okay, well, what do I do with all these ideas? Right. So exactly. So we're getting it. So, you know, we're going to get into like soul transformation here in a moment. But I'm very curious on this. Do you read with books, do you read them cover to cover? I do. And I'll start a book sometimes and I'll come back to it way later on. Like I'll be like, okay, I got what I needed. I'm going to come back when I need some more. Yeah. So I've given myself permission to not read cover to cover. cover and literally to pick up a book every time I have about an hour to two hour morning routine that

I do and part of it is reading and I'll just pick up a book and like I won't even start at the beginning. I'll go right into the middle of the book. But it took me some time to give myself permission to do that. Yeah. So anyways, your book was like fit into my little brain the way like I think things through. So thank you. I love why you wrote it. And to the listeners, you all will we'll leave a link to her book at the bottom. So, but let's dive into the topic. You know, I, this is a really cool topic for me to be having with you right now because I've been on quite a soul journey this year.

So I have a lot of my own selfish questions, you know, in a year's time, pretty much every routine in my life was broken apart. And I know it's really easy for us to say that, yeah, the pandemic did that to all of us, but this was 2022. Like how, like it completely, everything broke apart in so many ways. And so I was left with, who am I? What's my purpose? Where is my soul in all of my busyness?

And I've just really been digging deep this year. So your book really hit me because of the work I've been doing on myself. So how about we start with this? this question, how do you answer the question, who are you? You know, I love this question because it's so simple and it's also very deep, right? What I found on my journey, you know, what I found on my journey, I'll tell you a story. So about seven years ago, I was standing in my kitchen. And I think we go through these patterns and these seasons of change in our life.

And the most important thing is that we don't resist it so that we can actually come out on the other side with a more aligned and authentic version of who we really are. And I do feel like it's a discovery. We're always discovering new layers. So bring it back to about seven years ago, I was standing in my kitchen and I was putting my fingers through my hair as I always do. And at this point in my life, I had really long hair that went down to my hips. And I grew up with two older brothers. So it was like it was the thing that made me the girl of the family, right? Like that's that's commitment to have it go down to your head.

I know I know right. And so I putting my fingers through my hair and I'm like, something feels off here. So I grabbed my phone. I race to the bathroom. I put on camera mode and I start angling at the back of my head, trying to figure out what is going on at the back of my head with with the camera. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I have a bald spot.

and it was this big. So a couple, a couple inches, circular right on the top, back corner of my head. And I was like, oh, my gosh, like, how did this happen? How do I fix it? Clearly, the universe is trying to tell me something. So I go sit down in my kitchen, again, just to ground for a moment. And that's when I hear this voice come out of me and say, if you don't listen to your soul, you're going to manifest cancer and die in the next year.

and I was like, I've never like, whoa, where is this coming from? And then I have a flashback to five years prior. The only time in my life I had ever heard this voice speak. And I had roses in my hands. I had friends and family on both sides. And I was walking down the aisle, excited to marry the man that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. And moments before getting to him, the same voice says, this just is. isn't going to work.

As you're walking down the aisle? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I had never heard this voice before. So I was like, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm excited. Like, I shoved it down because I didn't know how to listen.

I didn't know how to deal with it. And I didn't think it was telling me anything that was important to me. I was like, this isn't right. Like, go away. I don't want to deal with you. So now I'm staying at my kitchen table five years after that moment. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I have four different autoimmune diseases that the doctors can help me with. I have chronic pain in my neck and shoulders to the point where my massage therapist actually fired me.

I didn't know they could do that. But she's just like, what did you do? Because you were too hard to massage? She's like, I can't help you. She's like, I can't help you anymore, right? So I'm like, okay. So my massage therapist let me go. I have four different autoimmune diseases.

I'm depressed. And I can't stand being around my husband because he's always talking down to me. And I feel like contracted. I feel stuck. And I'm having this moment of like, oh, my gosh, could it be that this entire time since that moment I walked down the aisle and I didn't listen to my intuition, my soul, that voice, could it be that this entire time my soul has been talking to me and it's just been getting louder and louder through symptoms.

So I knew that in that moment, if I didn't listen, if I didn't change my life, I wasn't going to be around for another year, which brought me down this path of studying the shamans, of studying the soul. And also within just three months, I healed myself of three of the four autoimmune diseases. My depression went away. My chronic pain went away. Everything went away, except for one autoimmune disease that pops up when I'm not listening to my body.

So what brought me on this path and connected to like, who am I, right? With your question is, first I had to really get clear on the messages of my body and how my soul was communicating to me. And I had to get really honest with myself and say, wow, this life that I created actually isn't based on who I truly am. It's based on who I thought I should be. So I had to get really good first at eliminating everything that wasn't me and, you know, getting out of that mentally and emotionally abusive eight-year relationship and so many other things in order to discover who I am. And this is a lot of what I teach today as the soul, but who are we and stepping into who we are.

And it really comes down to what is not you. And that's the most simplest place to start. Like what doesn't feel good and removing those pieces? and that starts to create space for what is true. Wow. How do you decide between your voice in your mind and the voice of your soul? Yeah. So the mind tells stories, right?

It tells stories. It wants to fix things. It wants to be logical. It creates stories and conclusions, right? It's like, this is the way things need to be. Right? And a lot of that's based on our programming. of who we've been told we should be, our past, our fears,

you know, the people that we surround ourselves with. Whereas our intuition and our soul, our soul communicates in a couple different ways. It communicates through symptoms. And when we have symptoms, it's because we're not listening to something, right? And then as far as the feeling of this soul and the language of the soul as far as the way it speaks,

it comes from the solar plexus. I was just going to say that. Go ahead. Keep going. Yeah. So it comes from the physical body, whereas the mind is up in the head. And when we're very heady, we're not connected to our body. So as soon as we're dropped into our body, our body will give us messages. And one of the things that I get a lot of my clients to do just randomly is I was on a plane the other day with someone that I didn't know. And we were talking about intuition and my book and all this stuff. And he's like, oh, how do I develop it? And like, I want to. want you to go to a coffee shop in the next 24 hours or a grocery store and I want you to look at

three different people at different moments of time and I want you just to focus your energy on them for like two to three cycles of breath. Within two to three cycles of breath your body will tell you if you should go talk to them if there's something in that relationship for you if they are actually the opposite of what's good for you or if it's neutral. So that looks like just standing somewhere paying attention to someone and then right away your body will start to move towards and will start to sway towards them or it will start to sway back or it will stay neutral and that's your body saying yes go have a conversation with that person no they're not for me or you know what it doesn't matter it's neutral can you do the same thing like i've learned it's so interesting you're saying this

because i never realized that it was like mind versus soul um that i was listening to i i have come up with a a a mechanism in my body. When I feel it in my gut, I move into action. So if an idea hits me in my gut, there's like a body feeling. And what I've learned to do is actually move into action before my brain can either talk me out of it or amplify it too much. And because, you know,

when you amplify certain situations, you sometimes don't see the downsides that they can be. And I've learned that sometimes sole decisions are illogical. and they just hit you and you got to go. Yes. So is that what I've been doing is I've been listening to my soul? Because it's like when it, there's a place in my gut. When I feel it, I do it.

I actually recently closed my clinic. Wow. I literally closed my clinic. There was a long history and reason why I did it. But when I asked the question, is it time to close? I just did it. And now you're talking about telling 200 people that the clinics closed. I mean, it was a big, big decision.

Wow. But I stepped into that moment from a gut level place, not from a brain place because I couldn't logically think myself through that process. I love that you're talking about this because this is like, this is where like I truly believe that this is the most. valuable thing that we can develop is actually trusting our intuition and our instincts and taking action on it and one of the things that I do like I'm I'm traveling to San Diego right now and all of my plans in San Diego fell through as far as like where I was supposed to live and all of that but my intuition said move go now and so I'm traveling with my two cats in my SUV from Canada and we're going to San Diego because my intuition told me

even though logically it would make more sense for me to potentially stay in Canada or to be in Costa Rica or somewhere else. But I have an agreement with my intuition and when it tells me something, I listen. And one of the things that blocks us from listening to our intuition is our mind. And so I love that you take action right away because if we don't take action, our mind, our ego, you know, the parts of us that wants to stay the same or stay safe or, you know, the logical part of us, is going to say, no, no, no, this is a bad idea. And that's when we move into fear. And when we move into fear, we continue to recreate the same thing over and over again in our life. So if we want to create change anywhere, we have to take action.

So I love that you do that. Like, yes. It's a long journey that I've been in. And I was the classic busy woman who couldn't hear her soul, couldn't figure out what I wanted for my own self. and this year really gave me the opportunity to go deep inside myself. And that's what I realized this year is, oh my gosh, here's how I realized it is the best decisions I've ever made were illogical.

Yeah. They literally made no sense. But something in my body told me to do it. And so I acted. So then I asked myself the second question, which was, well, where am I not? listening to my body like why don't I use this tool all the time. And then the third question to your point and a question I have for you is, is there anything that's really good or bad? Like things that show up for me in my life, like your example of moving to San Diego,

I'm starting to wonder if the things the mind wants to say is bad and categorize is bad and good, it doesn't know because the soul has a whole other plan. Yes, I love that. So first of all, I just feel like we can't really make any mistake. You know, I feel like no matter what, whether you decided to keep your clinic open or not, you chose to listen to your gut because there's something that you're ready to step into. There's something that you are ready to open up to right now in your life. And your body knows you've done the work, you're ready to go.

But if you weren't in that state and you were second-guessing, it and potentially you didn't listen, well, the universe is going to show you some sort of lessons and initiations that you need to go through in order to trust yourself and take action on what that next wave of opportunity and inspiration that wants to come to you. So it's like, we can't really mess this thing up. We can just create more obstacles. We can become more resilient. We can learn more lessons.

but I also believe that we've all come here to go through specific initiations and challenges so that we can serve at a higher level. So it's all relevant. I love that. So when you hit a challenge and you see something in your life that you're like, I don't like this. Yeah. Are there questions that you can ask yourself that moves you from the stories of the mind to the desires of the soul? Yeah. So. So the first piece is, you know, what I like to do with physical body symptoms first is because that's where a lot of steps shows up is, you know, pain, dis-ease, discomforts, anxiety is to just take a moment to settle in and to feel whatever the symptom is.

So for you, it's like, I don't like what's going on here. I don't like this, you know, how do I shift this? It's like it's not about shifting it right away. It's about being with it. And when we're with an emotion, a situation, a reality, we move through it quicker. If we resist it, it persists. So if you can tune into, this isn't working, this doesn't feel good, whatever it is. And you're like, what is the message here?

What is the lesson? Message, lesson, like, what's going on for me? And you're quiet enough, the answer will come. It will be like, take action, you know, listen to this, do this. And your soul will always tell you. So it's about two things. It's about accepting what is, giving yourself permission to fully be in that reality without disassociating or numbing with alcohol, food, whatever your distractions, your phone, you know,

and just with it. Ask the question, what is the message here for me? And then when you have the message, take action on it. The next thing is, if you're very much in your mind, this happened to me this time last year, I was back and forth, back and forth about do I move to Costa Rica? do I move to Bali and I was back and forth between those two and I realized that I was trying to make decisions based on my mind right and I was like okay I don't know where to go because I'm operating from my mind so if you're having a difficult time making decisions it's because you're in your mind you need to get into your body so right away I was like okay I'm going to step back I'm going to release control and I said out loud to the universe God whatever you believe in and I was like I was like okay I'm going to step back I'm going to release control and I said out loud to the universe God whatever you believe in and I was like like, okay, fine. I'm not going to make a decision that I'm renting out my house on this date and I need to know by this date where I'm going, right? So I step back and I let the universe

do its thing. The next thing, you know, I'm wrapping up a retreat, which ends up being the day that I needed to know by, which is a few weeks after that moment of me stepping back, and my friends like, I'm going to Mexico. And I was like, wow, like you're the last sign I need for Mexico. I didn't see Mexico as an option. And so I decided. to go to Mexico. I ended up going and finishing my first book in Mexico, turn your light on. I met my favorite author. He wrote the forward of my book. And it opened up all these opportunities. But the problem was I was too focused on two places, either Costa Rica or Bali. And I had to understand I'm trying to balance like pros, cons. And when we're doing that,

we're in our mind, we're not in our body. For me, I was like, I need to like not pay attention to this so that an answer can show up for me. And asking for signs is one of the fastest ways to get the answer that you need. Oh, interesting. I haven't thought about that. And what do you do? Like for the people that are listening to this and are like, I have no idea I make all my decisions from my mind. I didn't even know there was another place to make that decision from. How do we, when you ask, let's say you ask a question like, where should I go to Costa Rica or should I go to Bali, is there, how do we, where are we listening for the answer? Are we listening for it in our body? Because I feel like that, that's what I'm hearing from you. Yeah. So there's a few different

things. If you feel really disconnected from your body, the most important thing is to first get into your body. So that could be dance, that could be running, some sort of exercise where you actually can't think. For me, my old way of being, I would go for a really long run until I was exhausted, then I would have to be in my body, right? Until I was exhausted. So do something to get into your body. You can ask and close your eyes and just wait. And then you might be one of those people where you're like, this isn't working for me.

I'm not getting an answer. That means you need to get into your body. Or the next phase is asking for a sign. I was in Ashland. I'm actually just out of Ashland right now. And my plan has been to go to San Diego. My mentor was like, oh, you should stay in Ashland for a while. And I was like, I don't know if this is the place for me.

And he's like, just check it out. He's like, ask for a sign. So I was like, okay, I'll ask for a sign. So I'm like, okay, if I'm supposed to stay here for a little while, show me a sign. I'm walking down the street in Ashland. In my mind, I'm like, this is not somewhere that I want to live or be. There's nothing going on here. And then I walk by a store.

And I see this giant butterfly painting on, on the, far wall in the store and butterflies to me have always meant you are in the right place. So I walk into the store, I go to the back of the store and they have a deck of cards. And I just pulled one one deck of the card. Like again, this is within like 10 minutes of being downtown Ashland. And it says this is an omen, which is this is a positive sign. Oh my God. And I'm like, whoa, okay.

So I'm like, okay. So then I walk down. I'm like, okay, I'll go into a couple other stores. I go into another store. There were three or four books that popped up on the shelf for me that are exact things that have been in my consciousness. And I've been like working on behind the scenes for two, three years. And literally the books were right there.

And I was like, oh, my gosh, it's so obvious that I'm supposed to spend some more time here. Yeah. Right? Wow. So we can ask for signs. And then the next place is like in our body, if you feel. feel into two options, if you really feel into the options and close your eyes, like, should I go left, should I go right? Feel into what feels the most expansive. What's exciting is a yes or

expansive or peaceful. What feels contractive is a no. So those are a few things. You know, a friend said to me many times, and I like this, if it's not a hell yes, then it's a no. Yeah. So if you don't tingle in every part of your body making that decision, then it's a no. Now, when you go to look at making tough decisions, I feel like that's really hard because nothing tingles in that moment. It's like everything, everything in your body is like even like with my clinic closing, my mind, oh my gosh, for weeks was what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? And my soul was like, this is what we're doing. This is going to, this is your next step. You're going to do it. This is going to be great.

It was one of the biggest decisions I've made in my life where I could see the two parts of me kind of chatting with each other, trying to navigate the moment. And what I want to point out in what you just said is that I think for the people that are listening, we have a lot of people who listen to this podcast because they love the science. And I'm not saying that science is not amazing. I love bringing science to people. But there is something new that's emerged in the last couple of years called neuroscience. And what neuroscience is teaching us is that we have more senses than, or one of the many things,

we have more senses than meets the eye. And what I'm hearing you just say is you have trained these other senses, the intuition, the language of the soul. And now you're able to use it to navigate these major decisions. your life and probably minor ones too. Is that how it feels? Does it feel like a sixth sense or like a taste is a sense? A hearing is a sense.

It's another sense you've developed and we can all develop it as well. Yeah, I feel like it's really interesting because so many people talk about their spiritual gifts, right? And it's interesting because we all have, it's all available to all of us. And it's just being connected. It's being in tune to nature, in tune to ourselves. And so for me, I woke up to my spiritual gifts when I was 20 where I could really tune in and hear information, see it, feel it within just a few seconds. And so now I have these abilities to see disease and people to hear how their soul is communicating to them that maybe they can't hear for themselves or where they're meant to go versus where they are and all of those things.

and it's available to all of us. But first, we have to get really good at removing the things that aren't us so that we can find out who we are and so that we can tune into more of who we are and we can listen to ourselves more. And the more that we develop that muscle of not being environments that aren't serving us, inserting ourselves into the right environments, practicing listening to our intuition, practicing getting out of our mind. Practicing is this a yes, is this a no through muscle testing, through intuitive development,

the more that we are going to develop our gifts. And, you know, I was just running a retreat a few weeks ago with my year-long program. And one of the exercises is we're front to back like this. We're facing each other, you know? So we're looking at each other. And within just a few moments of just being fully present with the other person, the other person has to tell you something about them. So I would tell you something about you and vice versa.

And we would just say thank you. And what the data was from everyone within the experience was like, every single person I was partnered with revealed something about me that I already knew that I didn't know that they could pick up on. So we're constantly getting information from other people. The problem is we don't trust ourselves, number one. number two, we haven't developed our intuition. Number three, we've closed off our energetic feelings.

So, for example, if I want to be closed off to you right now, I can totally close my energy down. So you're not going to feel my presence or I can open it up. And those are two different things. So the development of presence, of self-trust, intuition. And then also, you know, empaths, people who do feel a lot that are usually on an emotional rollercoaster all the time. and sometimes they're on anxiety medication among other things. And they're like, I don't know why I feel this way. It's because they haven't learned how to discern between their energy and other people's.

And they haven't learned energetic hygiene as well as mastering their intuition. So all of this is super available. It's just about training, getting in the right environments, getting the right support, and then starting to understand the nuances. And it's just like, it's just like science over and over again. the data points to something, same thing goes with intuitive development and really understanding ourselves and others and knowing that everything that we're picking up on is truth when we're clear. So we have to do that work first.

Yeah. So well said. I, you know, I'm an empath for sure and I'm a body empath. So I feel a lot in my body, other people's emotions. And, you know, for 26 years, I worked, I mean, there were hundreds of patients that poured into our clinic every week. And now that I'm out of the day-to-day clinic, I realized I go back and I look at some of the hurdles I had in my life and realize that that wasn't even my feeling. That wasn't even my energy that I picked up. I forfed so much into my patients and wanting to help them that I lost

myself. That's part of this year for me is reclaiming myself. And so you bring up a really interesting point. So I've been asking who am I, where am I, who do I want to be, but I haven't asked myself, who am I not? Yeah. So how do you, how do you answer that question? Is that a yucky feeling in your body? Is that like, you know, and is that important? Do you search for who I am or do you search for who am I not or you do both? Yeah, you can do both. I, I feel like the most important thing, you know, if I think of myself seven years ago when I was going through a huge life change, I had to get really clear on what I wasn't because I felt so disconnected from who I was. And so I had this vision of who I thought of where I could be, but the gap

felt so big, right? I was like, that's not where I am now. Is that even me? And it doesn't make sense. So a simple exercise anyone can do if you're feeling lost or you feel like something. something's not working is to write a list down of all of your obligations, all of the things that you feel that you have to do. So it could be, you know, going and picking up your friends, kids from school, like random task. Okay, maybe you do that every week. You help out a friend. Maybe it's working with your team. It's doing this. Like all the things that you feel like you have to do, all of them. And usually they're the obligations. And also they kind of feel like, the I have to. If I don't do this, something's not going to work for me or whatever. And so you

write down all those things. Then the next list is you write down a joy list, all of the things that bring you joy. Usually when we're in the space of I don't know who I am or we're feeling really bogged down, our joy list may not be very big or we haven't been nourishing it. We haven't been spending time with it. So once we write down our obligation list, all of the things that we feel like we have to do that can be in relationship with people, with ourselves, everything, then you go through the list. And I take you through this exercise too in my book is you go through the list and you start to ask yourself the questions, who was I when I said yes to this obligation? Who was I? Right?

Oh, that's good. Yeah. I'm going to do that. Right? Let's come. Yeah. I'm like, that sounds fun. Let's do that.

And then I look at my calendar. I'm like, oh, my God, what did I create? And I'm going to go back and be, because there definitely feels like there's a splitting of who I am. And the whole people pleaser is falling away. And I'm catching myself making different decisions now. So I love that. That's so great. So who was I when I said yes to this?

So for you, you're like, if you were in people please remote, you might be like, oh, well, I was in a people, I was people pleasing. Or you know what? When I said yes to this obligation five years ago, I was in a lack mentality. I was. And so you start to go a little bit deeper. Who was I? When did I say yes to this? What was my belief system at this point in time?

Because it could be, you know, fear mentality. It could be lack mentality. It could be nobody loves me, depending on what's on your list, right? Or I have to do this or I'm alone. I don't know. And so once you go through those and you ask yourself the question, well, who do I want to be or how do I want to feel? You can be like, oh, wow. Like when I said yes to these out of people pleasing, the underlying belief system here was,

I'm not enough or people will leave me if I don't say yes and help them. Well, who would I be if that belief system wasn't true? Well, I would be free to be me and I could take this off my obligation list. And then it's about taking action, having those conversations to release the things that aren't aligned with how you want to feel and then supporting and nourishing the joy list of who you're becoming and how you want to feel. and through that you're going to discover more of who you are. Wow, that's good, that's good.

Okay, I'm going to add that into my morning time. A little bit about chaos. And you have a term in your book called spiritually aligned to chaos. And, you know, chaos is something I think we're all learning to deal with or have been. So tell me what you mean by that phrase and what do we do with these techniques when just everything is in chaotic friends? Yeah. So spiritually aligned chaos is I believe that we've come to this lifetime to where we're at for a very specific reason to overcome specific challenges, which I call is soul school. So we have to go through certain lessons so that we can give our gift to people, right? It's part of our evolution. It's part of living on purpose. It's part of being a contribution to the world that we live in. And then there's moments in time where there's. something that wants to shift, right? But we're not listening and we're resisting and we're managing. So I don't know much about your clinic and I'm just going to make a bunch of stuff out for an example.

Let's say that you know you need to close your clinic and you're like, I can't do this anymore. It's not working. But your mind was like, no, no, no, no, I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to deal with that. That's exactly what happened. Do you know me? Maybe. So you're managing it and you're avoiding the chaos that wants to move. So this can be issues with management. It can be issue with team members.

It can be issues all over. And day after day, you're leaking your energy and you're managing people in situations to avoid something that you don't want to deal with. So this is actually spiritually aligned chaos. So we have these cycles in our life. We were talking about it every so many years where it's like the universe is like, okay, time to change, time to evolve. And what most of us do is we manage.

And I believe this is why so many people are burnt out, stressed out, have disease, are unfulfilled and are like, why am I even doing all this? Right. It's because they're just managing. And so when we're managing, we're leaking our life force energy and we're not living the life that we want to live and we may have achieved a lot of things in our life but something needs to change. So spiritually aligned chaos is being like, whoa, I don't want to manage this stuff anymore because

if something's leaking your energy, it's actually a sign that it's not for you and you need to complete something or let something go. That's just like bottom line. Especially as an entrepreneur, so many of us will be like, oh, I have to do this. It's like, no, you can delegate that or you're doing it because you think you should because everyone else in your industry is doing it, when in reality, it's actually not for you. Are the tasks and the things that we should be doing

or that we want to be doing are the things that give us more energy and more freedom. And so there's like a little bit of like a mindset shift that needs to happen. But going back to spiritually aligned chaos, I like to think of it like a tornado. If a tornado is coming to your city, is coming towards your house,

you know, well, there's a couple things that you can do. you can get out of the house and just like, okay, the house is like, I've never been in the middle of the tornado. So like, you want to like go somewhere where you can either watch the tornado from afar and observe it or you want to, you basically just want to stay still and let the storm pass, right? But wouldn't you be crazy if I was like, wait, wait, wait, there's a tornado coming. No, it's not coming towards my house. I go in front of my house. I'm like, no, this is not happening. And I try to control a tornado.

What do you think is going to happen to me in the process? You're going to die or get hurt of sometimes or exhaust yourself. Yeah, I'm going to be in trouble, right? So what's happening in a lot of our lives is we're trying to manage a tornado or a storm in our life. We wonder why we keep getting hurt, why we keep having big losses in our life and our business, why we keep having to be resilient and overcome challenges. And why we're always in these storms, it's because we're trying to manage something

that's trying to redirect us. And we're not getting the message, right? The message isn't coming through. It's like the same thing keeps happening to you. There's a reason why. And you're not getting the message, which could be disease, which could be something big in your business, whatever.

And so if the storm, when the storm comes, when you stop managing things and you're like, okay, this is going on in my relationship, my husband's cheating on me or I'm not fulfilled or I need to move somewhere else or whatever the situation is. When you can just observe the storm and just actually observe it, when the storm passes, you will see what is for you and you will see what was never for you. And that is when you continue to evolve on your life path and you have, clarity, but the problem is we're trying to hold on to everything and manage because a lot of us

have been programmed in fear and lack mentality and that things need to be this way for me to be safe. And what happens is we drain our life force and we stay stuck and we have disease and we're burnt out. Whereas if we can just let the storm pass, which is uncomfortable because we have no idea what's going to go on, we're like, oh, wow, I never saw this path before. That looks like a lot of fun. I'm going to go this way instead, you know? That's, yeah, yeah.

And I would say that has been my discovery this year because so much changed in my life. I've been like, I don't think my mind knows what is best for me. It doesn't. I'm sure that whatever plan I've conjured up that I've attached to, that that may or may not be the best. But the more I let go of resistance, and that's what I hear you saying, and that is that the energy drain happens when you are in action that's incongruent with what your soul wants to be doing. And so you put up these barriers to avoid the pain of really seeing what the soul wants. And it's in that there's a resistance that drains you.

Yes. Is that the way, like resistance is a really interesting word. Because anytime we're resisting anything, we're not, we're, we're affecting. manifestation into our life for sure, but we're also building disease. Would you agree? Yeah, 100%. And the interesting thing about resistances is when I notice I have resistance towards something, I must move through that resistance. I have to. And the reason why is because it's our upper limiting it's, it's going outside of our programming, outside of our norm, outside of our current reality. If we want more financial abundance, more self-expression, more freedom, more depth, whatever it is that we want, that we want to call in,

there will be resistance because we're actually moving out of an identity that we've been in, and we're moving into a new identity. And so we have to go through that resistance as a part of the initiation. If we don't move through that resistance, then we're not accepting the initiation. And the initiation is what actually gets us ready for that new thing that we're calling in that new identity. Oh my gosh, I love that. I love that. Talk a little bit. You talked in your book about four stages to turning your light on. Is there anything that you haven't mentioned already? But like I'm thinking about the woman who's hearing this is resonating with what you're saying. You know, I really like my podcast to have applications that people can take away from this. How would I go from a place of like, wow, I never really. understood where my soul and mind separate and I've never understood where I make decisions from and what you're saying really is hitting me. Now what do I do with it? Is that where the four

stages of turning your light comes on, comes in? Yeah, I love that. So there's four stages. I'll kind of give you a little painted picture of the four so that you can identify where you are and what you may need to go to the next stage. So stage one, I talked about my story. seven years ago, you know, in my career from the outside looking in in my life, I looked like I was really happy. I looked like I was on purpose. I had opportunities flowing to me, but I had chronic pain, disease, I was depressed, and I was in an unhealthy relationship. And I kept asking myself the question, no matter what milestone I hit, is this really it? So stage one of turning your light on, it's like being in the forest in the middle of the night with a flashlight that

doesn't work. You're alone. You can't see anything clearly. You're living in fear. You're disconnected from your purpose. You definitely have disease because you haven't really been able to take action and listen. And you're just really feeling disconnected from yourself in the world around you. Even though from the outside looking and it looks like I may not have been at stage one.

Internally, I felt that way. At stage one, the most important thing that you need to develop here is your intuition, is your intuition and also removing yourself from environments that are taking away your energy and also that are lowering who you really are and inserting yourself in environments that are going to nurture and nourish what you want to step into. Wow. I love that. And then stage two is the flickering light stage. So again, you're in the forest in the middle of the night. Sometimes your flashlight works and you're moving forward. You're on an adventure and then all of a sudden it feels like out of nowhere the flashlight goes off.

And you're like, oh, wow, I don't know what to do. And then you go back into stage one, which is here, staying stuck, not moving forward, second guessing your purpose, second guessing yourself, not trusting yourself, self-sabotaging. So at stage two, how this shows up in your life is you're not. not really consistently showing up for your purpose and your goals and your vision and your dreams. And sometimes you'll be moving something forward and then something, which maybe you're aware of, maybe not will trigger something. And you'll go back into old patterns.

We can call this self-sabotage. And what you need most here is to actually understand what your triggers are and what some of your deeper belief systems are so that when you are triggered, you can overcome the challenges and continue to move forward and develop that muscle. and also have a guide to support you in your vision of what you're moving towards. Okay. I love that. Yeah.

And also there's some reprogramming of your belief systems and trauma is there because that's definitely connected. Yeah. And it's like, I feel like a belief system is coming, bubbling to the top. And I'm like, oh, my God, I never thought of it that way. Right. And sometimes those bubbles can burst and I'm like, I can let them go. And then sometimes they get pushed back down to your point is just moving from stage one to stage two. So that was cool.

Okay. Go ahead. I love that. I have how my mind has been unwinding from who I thought I should be to who I truly am. So that was really cool. I love that. So stage three is the bright light stage. So again, in the forest in the middle of the night, you have a bright light.

But it's going in all directions. There's no defined direction. And because it's going in all directions, you can see about a meter to your right, a meter to your left all directions, but there's no clear path. So you're kind of a wander, right? You're like, do I go this way? I can't really see. And how this shows up in our life and, you know, being an entrepreneur or just living our life and our purpose and being on purpose is we tend to be overwhelmed. We tend to take on too much. We tend to do the things in our life that we get the quick hits, the instant gratification for. But usually at this point,

our life and the stage is the one thing that we really want to do, our deepest, truest desire is on the back burner. That could be in a business. That could be our passion, a project. And we're tending to do things for everyone else because it's actually giving us the quick hit of our ego and what we're good at. So we're like, oh, I'm going to keep doing this. And so what we need to develop most at stage three is we need to develop self-trust on a whole

another level. We have to learn how to quiet the noise. What's the 70% but not the 100% and go all in. We need a mentor and a guide and typically to be inserted into an environment where other people have the same vision and mission and can hold us accountable so that we go all in on our dreams. I love that. I love that. Okay. I've had moments of all of that. I love that. Okay, that was stage three. Yeah, stage three. And then stage four is a laser focused light. we're on path, we're on mission, we're all in. Everyone knows who we are. Everyone knows what we do. We're on path. We trust ourselves. People are around us supporting us. We're in flow. And we're in a space of constant manifestation. We've learned how to trust God, source, the universe, whatever you believe in. And we listen and we fully trust the process. And we go all in. And this is about surrendering to something greater than you. So the first three stages is about understanding your reprogramming parts of yourself, aligning yourself. Stage three to four is about trusting in a bigger source than you and surrendering into that so that you can move into flow.

And that's where we make the biggest impact in our life is stage four. Stage four. So now again, I'm going to say I resonate with all four of those stages. I feel like I've different times in my life. I've gone through all four. Can you get to that place of the fourth stage where you are focused? you're on purpose, and then all of a sudden the soul's like, and it's time to do something else now, and it comes a knocking, and you're going back through the stages again. I don't know if you can go fully back to the stages. You can. You know, you definitely can. If I'm like, you know what, I'm going to crawl up in a ball and hang out in my bed for the next so

many days and just, you know, hide. But we know what it feels like to trust. We know what it feels like to move into flow and we know that we can get there. So this is more a conscious choice rather than anything else. We can move into fear, but we've developed the tools and we've opened up enough that we know that we can get there. So it's like riding a bike. Yeah, are you going to fall off the bike if you're going on a different match? And if you move into fear, sure, you might fall off, but you're skilled enough to get back

on the bike. And it's just a choice you want to get back on the bike or are you making up a story that's preventing you from getting on the bike, which is. It's just a story, right? Got it. That makes perfect sense. And is there a scenario where as you're listening to your soul, I just want to set this out there. Like your life looks like, what the F are you doing?

Like, do you get to the point? Like, you're a story of drive. Like, the people that I know that have had the greatest transformations in their life, really listen to that intuition, soul, whatever we want to call it, and what they look like they're doing looks like madness. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're dirty, I mean, just so, because I think that's the scary part of all of this is we want life to look like it does in the movies. Right. We don't want life to look like I'm traveling from Canada to San Diego and I might stop in Ashland for a day or for five months. That life is very unusual to us, but what I'm hearing

in this new world that's emerging right now is that a lot of people are doing that life. So are there moments when you hit that four stage where you might have some self-doubt kick in and you just have skills to override it? Or what does that look like since you're in the midst of what appears to be a madness. I mean, this is, this is so wild because I'm really, really in it right now. And wow, I mean, last year it was about stepping back and letting the universe guide me to where I needed to go and all these opportunities opened up from it. And this year, I have an agreement with my soul that tells me to do something I do it,

even if I look like a fool because I know it's part of my path and what I need to teach. not everyone will live the way I live and that's okay. It might just be like small things that you're getting outside your comfort zone with. But yeah, there's definitely that. You know, I decided I got back from Costa Rica one day when I was, you know, about a week or so ago. And I was like, okay, I'm still going to go to San Diego even though all of my plans fell through. And I was like, and I knew that I just needed to start driving because fear was getting in the way. I was like, oh my gosh, am I even supposed to go there?

Should I have stayed in Costa Rica? The stories came up because they do. They do every time we're leaning into something new. They're going to. But it's what you do with them. I know for me, staying still when those stories are coming up is going to make, the stories are going to own me. And I'm not going to have whatever experiences I need to.

So got my car, my SUV, got my kitty cats. I have two cats I'm traveling with. And good thing I told them when I got. got them that they're going to be travel cats because they totally are. And we started driving. And, you know, I messaged a friend in Portland and I was like, hey, like, do you want some company like tonight? She said I could stay any time.

So I stayed there for a couple of nights and she's like, where are you going to next? I'm like, I don't know. I'm just on the road. And I didn't know where I was staying the next night until I had the intuition say Mount Chasta. And then I went to Mount Chastah, a bunch of synchronities there. And then I went to Ashland, a bunch of synchronities here. signs and now I'm like okay it's time for me to move tomorrow to go towards San Francisco because

I got so basically I'm living kind of day by day right now and I'm waiting for guidance um so that's how I live right now but this doesn't work for everyone but I think the most important thing when listening to your intuition is my mind was like oh maybe maybe this is a sign I'm not supposed to go there No, my intuition has been bringing me to San Diego for three years now. It's like you're supposed to be there, but there's been other things that have come up. So if you can go back to your initial feeling about something, your initial feeling about a person, a situation, an opportunity is the right feeling. We manifest obstacles when we don't trust that initial feeling. That's when things get challenging because we're shifting timelines, right?

So if we can just take massive action like you said, right, like right away, then the road will be a lot smoother. I love that. I love that. Well, it's so funny because this is just perfect timing. You know, I think if I had had this conversation with you six months ago, I might have been a little more argumentative. I might have been more like whatever. But now that I've been through the journey that I've been through this year and coming out the other side of it and making some ridiculously hard decisions in my life, I am starting to

see magic unfold and realizing that as I moved through what appeared to be chaos, I listened to my gut and that kept leading me to the right place and the right place and the right place. This is beautiful. I want to finish up with this question, and I'm sure you have a wicked answer for this one. So this year, our season was about gratitude. and do you have a gratitude practice every day? And what are you incredibly grateful for this year? Yeah, I don't have a gratitude practice every day. But what I'm really grateful for this year specifically is I'm grateful for all of the risks that I've taken.

I've taken some pretty wild risks where from the outside looking in, it's like, what is that woman doing? but I've trusted myself. I've backed myself and because of it, all of these beautiful synchronities, relationships, opportunities, and new creations are being birthed into the world because I went all in, even when my mind or people around me were like,

where are you going, what are you doing? So I'm just really grateful for myself, for trusting and going all in, even when, like, from the outside looking and it's like, what am I doing? I'm like, I don't know. I just trust this. And so I'm really grateful for that. And I'm also really grateful for the ability to live and work from anywhere. Like the fact that I started this business years ago, like I'm just super grateful that I'm able to work the way that I

work because I am meant to live in different places. And so I'm just really grateful for my past self. You know what I love about that is that my big message. So I have a book that's coming out at the end of the year. And it's all about empowering women to learn their hormonal cycle. And one of the things that I've noticed is that as women, we're very disconnected in a lot of ways. And of all the people I've asked questions, that gratitude question to, of all the people I've had on the podcast this year, everybody has an answer of like a spouse or a situation. But I love that your answer is yourself. So I know that's the mind you're in and it's the journey you're on.

But I don't want the women who are listening to this podcast to not lose sight of that. Because as we show up as healthy women in this world physically, spiritually, emotionally, it starts with incredible gratitude for ourselves. Don't you think? A hundred percent. And I feel like as women in a lot of ways, we've been programmed to look outside of ourselves for answers, for being good enough, for someone to save us or help us. And we have been very disconnected from our hormones and our body.

And we've been shamed for our body and our hormones and everything else. So like, why not be grateful for ourselves? we're actually in control of this whole thing, you know, this whole thing and our whole life. So it's like we got to get grateful for ourselves and taking action and trusting ourselves because that's really what we're here to do is take our power back. And that thought, that thought, you know, we've all heard, well, it's hard to get into a relationship because if you don't love yourself, how can anybody else love you? I'm going to add to that and say it's hard for other people to be grateful for you if you're not

grateful for yourself. I love that. I just got goosebumps. And I love this so much. I'm writing another book right now, which we'll be out for quite some time. But the whole book is about self-love. Oh, I love it. I love it. This was amazing. Everybody, go get her book. It's called Turn Your Light On. We'll leave links in there. I'm going to continue marking it up. Talk to us about where people can find you. Yeah, thanks so much. I would love to get to know your audience and your community and hear what's resonating and what's going on for you. And my website is radically aligned.com. So all of my offerings and programs are on there. And I'm also on Instagram. It's I am Deidre Suryani and I'd

love to connect and hear what your takeaway is from this episode and what's going on in your world and how we can start to open up and support each other. Yeah. You know, that is, that's my goal for is women empowering women. I love them. And coming together to support each other. And so I absolutely love that. So to everybody listening, go find her if you resonated with this. And I'm just going to say, Deidre, this was awesome.

So thank you for taking me on this journey. And I'm just grateful for what you're doing in the world. I can't wait to see what happens to you in San Diego. I'll keep you posted. Yes, please. Once I want, I'm going to, we're going to bring you back like in six months or so. Like, okay, tell us what happened. How long did you end up in San Francisco?

You know, where did you go along your way? Because your journey is really inspiring. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. This has been so much fun talking to you. Thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. I love bringing thoughtful discussions about all things health to you.

If you enjoyed it, we'd love to know. about it, so please leave us a review, share it with your friends, and let me know what your biggest takeaway is.