Live Like a Girl with Dr. Mindy Pelz - The Secret to Getting Anything you Want in Life - Interview with Dr. Mindy & Jennifer Cohen

Episode Date: June 9, 2020

This episode is all about mindset! Plus, my guest reveals the secret to getting anything you want in life. Jennifer Cohen is a best-selling author, entrepreneur and performance coach with a specific focus on building healthy habits to drive positive behavioral change.  She was recently named "100 Most Influential People in Health and Fitness" by Greatist and is currently ranked #16 "Most Impactful Fitness Entrepreneurs" by Web MD.  In 2019, Jennifer took her passion and experience to develop and host one of the fastest rising, regularly ranked podcasts, "Habits & Hustle"  featured on Entrepreneur.com, which brings together thought leaders and notable game changers into thought provoking conversations identifying effective techniques and ideas to help listeners level up their physical and mental capabilities. In this podcast, we cover: Why you have to ask for what you want How failure will eventually lead to success About Jennifer's most significant asks What happened when Jennifer asked a question to Keanu Reeves How to stand in your own truth Why we need to put ourselves first and practice discipline The ways we can retrain our mindset Our sponsor of this episode is: Dry Farm Wines! RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Jennifer Cohen's Website Habits and Hustle The Secret to Getting Anything You Want in Life

The information discussed in this episode is intended as general information only. It is not intended for one-on-one medical advice, and you should always consult your healthcare practitioner before making any changes. And if you like the content discussed in this episode, please go leave a review so that others can benefit from it as well. I am a woman on a mission that is dedicated to teaching you just how powerful your body was built to be. I like to do that by bringing you the latest science, the great, thought leaders and applicable steps that help you tap into your own internal healing power. The purpose of this podcast is to give you the power back and help you believe in yourself again.

My name is Dr. Mindy Pels and I want to thank you for spending part of your day with me. Hey, resetters, what if there were some tips and tricks that you could use to literally get anything you want in life? Well, my next guest on this episode is Jennifer Cohen. She has a TED Talk, and it's called The Secret to Getting What You Want, anything you want in life. She has some incredible stories. She has some incredible techniques and strategies for overcoming limiting beliefs and learning how to move beyond this desire that so many of us have to create perfection.

She'll teach you. She taught me how to really step into progress overperfection. and she'll show you how to use your mind chatter to line up with the dreams that you're chasing. Really cool episode, really fun conversation. We're going to take you on a totally different path than keto, diet variation, and fasting. We're going to step right into mindset and give you some tools that will just make everything you're going for with your health, with your life, with your relationships. Really exciting episode.

I'm really excited to share this with you. Dr. Mindy here again, and I have a totally different twist we're going to go on today. We are going to get off the keto and fasting and detox train, and we're going to jump into mindset. So let me start off by welcoming my next guest, Jennifer Cohen. Thank you, Jennifer, for being here. Thank you. It's a pleasure. So I love your TED Talk. I'm actually, I'm a little obsessed with TED Talks because I just love this idea that we can get information in in a short period of time. And what I, for start is the title of your TED Talk. Surely people have commented on that. Actually, not that many to be on. I mean, a lot of people, what they do is, and the title is a secret to getting anything you want,

but not more people have actually contacted me and to ask me a question saying, well, this is me doing what you told me to do kind of thing, you know, but really? Yeah, but no. No one really actually made any real commentary until you. Well, I love the title. So just to point out of the title is the secret to getting anything you want in life. And so at home, I have a 20-year-old and an almost 18-year-old. So as I was preparing for this interview, I sent that to our little family group because I was like, I want them to see that failure is such an important part of success,

which is why I love your TED Talk. So thank you very much. I appreciate that. Yeah, no, it's great. Can you give us, just so our audience knows, what was the motivation behind the talk and kind of give us a synopsis of what your talk is about? The whole premise of the talk was,

is I think that people try to overcomplicate the most simple things in life, right? And at the end of the day, how do you get anything you want in life? The first step is to actually ask for what you want, right? People are so afraid to ask for what they want or to go after exactly what they want, that they end up acquiescing to what's available or accepting what's, you know, in front of them, as opposed to being very focused and deliberate

and going after that exact thing. And the whole idea was that you may not get that exact thing in life, but another opportunity that you didn't even know existed will present itself to you. So it's really about putting yourself out there, becoming vulnerable, and actually going after, and asking for that exact thing that really you want in life. And it could be anything from health, fitness, to job, profession. It's really, it really is an umbrella. It's really about anything in life. That's why I called it that. Yeah. And I like that idea because I think there are not enough people that are willing to stand up and ask for what they want, which is so silly, right? Absolutely. And the other thing, the other thing I loved about what you said, I literally have so many people I want to send

that TED talked to is that sometimes the more intelligent you are, the more you think of all the reasons why that something isn't going to work. And that holds you back. Absolutely. So I make a reference about the fact that I do believe that to be true. Sometimes I feel like sometimes when you're so smart, your mind can actually be a hindrance to you because you'll you can you can overthink all the reasons why you shouldn't do something versus just kind of like taking that plunge and just going after just by taking that plunge and actually going after that exact thing, right? Because our minds can play, we can really talk ourselves in or out of anything that we want, right? So it's really about making that like shift, not overthinking something and just actually

going out and going after something. Yeah. Yeah. And I, this has been part of my strategy in my life is that I always say that I'm willing to jump out of the airplane and just like build the, you know, parachute on my way down. Right. Oh, wow. That's very bold, actually. Like, I'm willing to like just, just, I don't let perfectionism hold me back. And do I make mistakes?

Oh, yeah. But it just, if I sit back and I do too much analysis paralysis, then it just blocks me. Exactly. If that's what it is, it's analysis, right? And people struggle with that. It's not really, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, progress, not perfection, right? We don't have to be perfect. We just have to be progressing. And, you know, a big part of what I talk about in my whole life is failure, right? I've failed 90% of the

time, but you don't have to, you don't have to succeed 100% of the time or even close to it. You just have to succeed enough where, you know, it propels you to something else, right? But the only way you have, it's a number, it's all volume, right? The more you swing the bat, the higher chances you're going to actually hit, hit the ball, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know Sarah Blakely's story. Do you know? Well, actually, I know Sarah Blakely. You know, I'm like, surely you've had her on. I'm looking at some of the people you've had on. Her husband's coming on, actually. I think next week. Okay. Awesome. Awesome. So I use her story just to fill our listeners. And I use her story all the time with my kids, which is the fail forward. Like,

what did you fail at today and how do you learn from it? Right. You know, I'm in Silicon Valley and you're in L.A. these are two areas where if you're raising children, they're such a high standard for like, what are you getting on your SAT? And what activities do you have and what college are you getting into? And my constant comment to them is like, just show up, do what like you love and just don't be afraid to fail. Just keep failing and failing and failing.

And I use Sarah Blakely's story all the time. Yeah. And also what you just said is exactly true. Show up because most people don't even show up. Right. Right. A lot of people just don't think they even have the possibility. They count themselves out before they even give it a shot. And a lot of times it's really just as simple as showing up because if everyone feels that way, it's going to happen to the person who actually does show up. Right. So there, you just increased your chances by that much, right? Yeah. You know, there was like a thing about people who wanted raises at their job, right? And people were really disgruntled. They weren't getting these raises. And it turned down. And it turned it turns out that two-thirds of the people who wanted a raise never even asked for the raise, right?

So interesting. Right? But the people who actually, you know, asked the question, asked for the raise, was it like 75% of those people actually got the raise? Amazing. And so my point is there's an, it's an amazing ratio of how much you actually get when you actually just pose the question. Yeah.

So what do you think holds us back from it? Is it like there's something inherent in. rejection that kills our spirit? I think it's self-doubt and fear, which is kind of the same thing, right? Like you're scared of, you're scared of rejection, you're scared of failing, and you second-guess yourself, right? So that's really what it comes down to, right? So my whole philosophy is how do you get better at something with anything, Spanish, running, asking for what you want, it's about practice. Anything comes down to practice. If you practice that skill, you're going to get better at it, no matter what it is. So if you are, if you're fearful of putting

yourself out there and asking for what you want, then that's the thing that you should be practicing the most. And you can be practicing this on a very small level. You know, like I make a whole thing in my talk. And when I speak to companies, is that like, I, when I go to a restaurant, I never order off the many. I love that. You know? I love that. And even though people, right, and people think I'm the biggest pain in the ass.

They're like, oh, here she goes again. But, like, if you can get comfortable for asking the small things in life, then you get comfortable asking for the bigger things in life, right? So by you thinking, I don't want to ask for the veggies with no butter because, you know, I don't want to be a pain in the ass. You're actually, that whole experience is actually helping you on many more ways than just you asking for those, you know, steam veggies, right? It's mentally putting your brain in a place where you're getting more comfortable putting yourself out there and getting exactly what you want

as opposed to just getting what, you know, you, that's what's in front of you. That's, you know, that you acquiesce to. And it's like a job. Another thing, it's like a job. People just take the job that's available as opposed to going after the exact job at the exact company that they want to be at. Right. It's like a settling for, okay, this is what I've been given. What's the, I definitely want you go into the Keanu Reeve story because I have questions on that. But I just thought of this right now. What is the biggest like ask that you have made that you felt that you didn't get? And what was the biggest one you asked that you did get? Today, I mean, I ask for things every day.

And, you know, people look at me all the time. They're like, why do you think you're going to get that? And I always say the same thing. Like, you never know unless you try. And it has to happen to somebody. So why not be me? And that's kind of like my my baseline now. One thing, well, there's been so many different things.

I would say that a lot of things that I didn't, I know more of the things that I didn't get because it's, but I don't really remember. Well, there's been so many. So I didn't get, there's been a bunch of different weight loss shows and I became like runner up for like the biggest. loser. I was like runner up, but I didn't get that show. But you know what I, so this is a good example. You know, years and years ago, they were looking for the new trainer for the biggest loser.

Now, I was in the running. I got really, really close. It became between me and someone else and I didn't get it. But years later, from that opportunity that I put myself out there for, I got a different weight loss show from the same creator as the biggest loser. Now, was that show as popular as a biggest loser? No, it wasn't. But you know what I first of all learned from that was I don't like that process. I don't I don't like being on TV as a trainer with a bug in my ears telling me to scream at somebody and having to spend 20 hours on a set doing sort of things. So like sometimes when you don't get the thing that you want, it actually like is a blessing in disguise. And there's maybe you know, like maybe there's other background reasons why you don't get it. And for me not getting that

experience, the biggest loser, it took me at a whole different path of searching for other opportunities within the health and wellness world that I would never have even got to even even have in my purview if I didn't even have that experience if I got that show. But when I got the offer for the other show, what was interesting was not only that I learned that I don't like this, that process, but how I was able at that time in life, I was able to leverage it into so many bigger opportunities. The show was like not even something that's even on my resume, believe it or not. You know, like some people like mention it, but, you know,

stepping stone. It was like kind of like, yeah, like, you know, in the moment, it was like the biggest thing in my life. Right. And then like when you look back, it's like it's not even a, it's not even like a pebble in this in my sand because it was a stepping stone to like all these other things that I was able to leverage from that that was much more meaningful and interesting and better for my life.

Interesting. And that way you don't probably ever see there's no such thing as failure. I don't look at, I mean, listen, it's really hard in the moments. Of course, in the moment you see it as failure, right? Like I failed. I didn't get it. I didn't make it. But it's hindsight in 2020, really, right?

Like you see it later on. and also like time and perspective later on where it was never something for me that if I failed, like I said, I fail all the time. I feel today. I failed yesterday. Even though I know it's failure, I'm like, oh, I didn't make that thing. That didn't happen or that didn't happen. It doesn't keep me down. So that's the point. Like it doesn't stop me from trying again or doesn't stop me from trying for something else. It's literally why I say it's like this, it's like the 10% target. It's about being okay with failure, being okay with like, you know, getting right back up and trying again because I really strongly do believe that you have to attempt at something 10 times.

I really believe that to be true. You know, like if you, by just trying once and you don't seem to get it, like, okay, well then you don't deserve to have it, right? You have to really, you should work for whatever it is that you really want. And so my, my whole thing is I say to people, you should attempt at that one thing that you want 10 times. That's not like asking, I want this, you know, give me the car, give me the car, give me the car. But it's like you think of what you really want and then you ask for it. And if it doesn't work, you think of another way. You think about another approach that you can use or another person you can ask or a conduit that can help you with that. It's about being somewhat creative. then it teaches somebody how to be resourceful and use who they have and who they have and what

they have in front of them to attempt at that. So you don't just keep coming at it from the same angle. You could try to come at it from a different angle. Right. Exactly. You try to come at it. And that's what gives you the practice of resiliency and to overcome your fears and to overcome yourself doubt. Because like I said, the more practice you do, the more practice you have, the more comfortable you get with that, whatever that is. And a lot of times before you hit that 10th time, something, either you're going to get what you want or, or another opportunity will present itself that you didn't even know existed. And I challenge everybody here who's listening to this to actually try that and they would be amazed at how true that is. Interesting. Well, when I, when I listen to

the TED talk, I was like, oh, that's kind of freeing to like go, okay, I got to ask 10 times. for this thing. Right. And the first rejection comes back, you're like, oh, well, I have nine more. Right, right, right. That was the first one. I just got done writing a book. And so I was looking at who I could, you know, get to write the forward and who that was in my genre that would be good for some advanced praise. And I was, I made a dream list. And a few people said, no, not right now. And I, this is before I listened to you. And I was like, okay, well, it wasn't meant to be. I'll go on to the next person. Right. And now I'm like, oh, shoot, I only asked once. I should have tried nine more times. Absolutely. Who did you get to write your forward then at the end of the day? Well, one of my mentors

wrote my forward, but it was Dr. Christine Northrop, you know, she wrote Wisdom. Oh, she's great. I love her. Yeah. So I actually brought her on the podcast and we chatted and I asked her if she would write the forward. And she said, I normally do those things. Right now, I'm redoing two of my books. And so I don't really have time. So what I did is I settled for a quote. I'm like, oh, no problem. Could you just give me a quote? That's great. I love that. That's perfect. See, there you go. You know, that's exactly what it is. Yeah, I did. But then I was like, oh, maybe I should. And then a friend actually texted me this weekend and said, oh, hey, I have a connection there. Do you want a connection? I'm like, oh, no, no, no, I got it already. And I'm thinking, well, maybe I should have gone back. It's just you had me thinking bigger. So I really liked it. I'm so glad to hear that. And that's the whole idea, right, is to think bigger. People just become very myopic and they see only a tunnel. But, you know, a lot of times your own contacts and resources and community are a really good resource and conduits to other opportunities. That's why you have to think bigger. You have to think beyond what you just see right in that one little myopic lane.

Right. Yeah. So, okay, so tell us the Keanu Reeve story. I don't want to give away the whole story because people need to go listen to your TED talk. I know. I was going to say, do you really want me to tell it? Can you tell us a short one? Because I already, I already like alluded to it. Basically, bottom line is I wanted, if I tell you, should I tell you the punchline or not? Yeah. Well, there's other things in that TED talk that are key that people need to go listen to. So I think you can tell us the cliff notes. Okay, the bottom line is I was really young. I was like 17 or 18 years old and I really wanted a job at, I wanted to be like a VJ at a MTV. type of thing. But I needed to do something that was a little more out-of-the-box thinking because it was

very competitive job at the time. And I decided to ask Keanu Reeve to be in my demo tape and then I sent it into MTV. And people laughed at me, thought I was crazy. And I got an opportunity when he was doing something where I went up to him. I ran up to him and I asked him to do me a favor when there was like hundreds of people surrounding him and press and everything. And he basically like shrugged me off and told me, you know, to give him my number. I give him my number and he would let me know or call me or something. I did. I told all my friends again, they all laughed and said how crazy I am.

And, you know, cut to days and days go by. And I get a call from Keanu Reeves when I was a 17-year-old girl living at home. I get it. My mom answers the phone. I get a call from Keanu Reeves. And next thing you know, he's sitting at my house. I'm interviewing him for my demo tape for the job, my dream job. Send it in. And, you know, the rest is history. You've got to listen to the tech off to know. There you go. Perfect. But the point is like people laugh at me and people can, you know, there's so many naysayers out there, right, that people say, no, you can't do this. No, that's never going to happen. And from my experiences, a lot of things that I thought were not possible and that's actually being what actually happened.

And the things that I thought were like easy, breezy, no big deal. I can get that in a heartbeat. I never got. So like, there's no rhymeal, you know what I mean? Like I think that like you can't listen to anybody. You're going to just kind of forge forward and just try for whatever is, you're passionate about whatever you really like, whatever you really want, and you've got to be committed, you've got to be focused and you've got to like ask for it. Yeah. Ask the question. I love that.

I have a funny ask story on a famous person too was I had a random moment where Holly Hunter, you remember Holly Hunter? Yeah, of course. Yeah, she walked into my chiropractic office and we were in a different location and she was doing a play near us. She walked in, needed chiropractic care. And anyways, over a course of a couple of weeks, I got to know her and adjust her and it was really fun. And I really wanted to go to this play. It was like the hot play in town. And the tickets were like crazy expensive and sold out. But I'm like,

I'm adjusting Hallie Hunter. Holly Hunter, I should probably ask her for a ticket. So I finally got up the courage to ask her like, could I have a ticket to the? And she said, sure. Well, what we ended up doing is all the people in the play, you have to wait in the lobby like you go in and you basically say I'm Holly Hunter's friend and you wait in the in the lobby and then as the empty seats reveal themselves people who didn't show up for their tickets they'll put you in those seats so but they do it according to like the biggest the the biggest stars guess yeah so here I'm sitting with like 25 people I was maybe 28 years old you know and they were like okay they had a clipboard they're like okay Holly Hunter's guess And then my husband and I were like, us and everybody, all these people that were like in their 60s and 70s kind of looked at us like, who are you? And how do you know Holly Hunter? And we got great seats.

That's awesome. What happens in this situation? People, if nobody doesn't show, if everyone shows up, do you guys have to go home? Oh, I don't know. She was very like, oh, you just go in, you say, I'll put you on the list and you just say I'm Holly Hunter's guests, which getting that even out of my mouth, like to walk in. Big deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm Holly Hunter's guest. Like, it just, yeah, it was a big. And it worked out for you, too. Totally worked out. So, and I was really nervous to ask her because I felt like, look, I'm here to serve you, help you. Like, I don't need anything in exchange. So what puts you over the top edge to ask her? What gave you that confidence to ask her? I felt, well, that's a great question. We definitely built rapport. And I felt like she was a really awesome, genuine person. And it was the hot. play in town. And I just had this thought, like, you would be really stupid to not ask this right now. Right, right, right, right. It was more like a missed opportunity. I think it was like, really, like, you really should ask this. And what if she says, no, you'll never see her again? I think that was the other thing I thought. If she says no, I'll never see her again.

All right. Like, I always say to myself, like, what's the worst that can happen? Right. I'm not, I'm going to be no better off or were. Like, you're still going to be in the same spot you're in anyway. So what's the worst that can happen? Just ask. Right. Exactly. So let's turn into like this idea around boldness because I love that word and you use it in the TED talk. Again, you all need to go listen to the TED talk because you also have the fitness background and I want to dive into that a little bit too. What I see with my resetters is people are trying to make changes to their lifestyle. They want the end result of being healthy, being fit. And yet as they have to make this turn into a healthier lifestyle, the people,

people around them are like, what do you mean you're not going to go get Starbucks with me anymore? What do you mean? Like, I've seen situations where people lose weight and the people around them become threatened. I've seen situations where people don't want to, like, rock the boat in their family because they're going to make dinner different now. And there's like, they're like scared of the opinions of the loved ones around them. So to me, that's, that falls in the line of asking. It's like how, what mental tricks do you, can we give people to like stand in their own truth when they go to make changes like that?

Well, I think those are, especially if someone's making a positive change like that, I mean, you really have to look at the people around you. I mean, that's number one, what I would say, right? If you're doing something that is really a positive lifestyle change that benefits you and it can benefit your family and friends, maybe you've got to find new friends. Family is not so easy, right? But friends, I mean, that's possible. But to answer your question, I think slow and steady wins the race, right? Because nothing ever happens overnight, right? You can start by like easing your family or people into something. Because nothing, not only does nothing happen overnight, but also things happen in stages.

And you people don't, you have small changes to me equal big wins. So you can get people to kind of come around or, you know, join your party by your approach, you know, like make it feel more inclusive. Like, we're going to do this. We're going to have this. This is going to be great for us. We're going to be healthier. You also people, you have maybe put together challenges, you know, like, you know, for this week, we're going to try doing this. And I would say you pick, pick things.

Don't do everything at once. Pick one thing at a time to introduce and to work on. And when that's, and when that deems successful, then you can move on to something else. But I think a lot of times people try to change everything too fast. And that's when there's a lot of like pushback and failure. Not to say failure is bad, but a lot of pushback, let's say. And like I said, when it comes to friends, I think the reality is, have you heard of Schottenfreude? You know what Schottenfreude is? No. No. Shottenham Freud is like a thing where, you know, we get pleasure. in other people's misery, right?

Oh, interesting. And so it's like a whole thing where it's very interesting. People like to sometimes, people sometimes feel much better about themselves and they have another friend around them that is doing less than them because it elevates them. So honestly, like to say to your questions, like, well, then you've got to look at your friends. And as you grow and you change, maybe you find friends and other people that have to be similar passion, similar interests. Like, don't let other people keep you down or, or let you stay that way because you're

afraid of their, of their, I guess, of their, of their, of how they're going to, what's the word I'm looking for or basically? Yeah, no, it's like their reaction or their approval or their approval or lack thereof. Yeah. One of the things that they, you know, years ago, they did a study on obesity and they found that they were trying to identify, like, was it diet, was it lack of exercise? They were trying to figure out what made somebody obese. And this was like 15 years ago. And they figured out that the only thing that they could predict on obesity was it was the five closest people you hung out with.

Oh, I always talk about that too. Right. If they were obese. You are that you are, you are like a representation of the five closest people around you. And I will say to that point also, even when I was It's funny. I haven't talked about the weight loss show. It's called shedding for the wedding, by the way. Oh, what a great name. Yeah, right. It's all about these couples who are like going to win their dream wedding,

whatever couple lost the most weight. I'll tell you, a lot of the couples broke up since that show. But I'll, when that show, after that show happened, because to your point, when people lose a lot of weight, a lot of times, people change. They change, too, because. not only is their lifestyle different, but their mental mindset becomes different. They become more confident. They become more secure with themselves. They feel like mentally strong.

I'm not talking because someone now looks amazing that they feel like, screw them. I'm going to go find my, you know, the next person. But what I'm saying is a lot of times you get a lot, it's a lot of it psychological. You get stuck in that place of a lot of weight gain or obesity because that's what's surrounding you. So the second you lift yourself out of that, you become a different person. So what you require is different. The kind of things that you are interested in becomes different. You know, you want to do more activity source. You want to eat differently. So I find water always finds its level, right?

So like you'll gravitate to different things and different people as you change. You know, that's just what happens. That's just human nature. Right. And I feel like too many people keep themselves small because it's like, do I want to lose the friend or do I want the health? Like I'll give you an example. I had an employee who had quite a bit of weight to lose. And she one day just drew a line in the sand and said, I'm going to lose it. She was a very determined mindset. And so she's, she, at the end of work, she started going to the gym and not going and hanging out with her friends drinking Frappettinos at the afterwar. and going to the bad food places they were going. Anyway, she dropped weight so fast.

And this was over a couple of month period. And her friends actually said to her, you're not going home and being with your daughter, you're being a bad mother, you don't hang out with us. Like you said, you've changed. And I watched this whole thing unfold in my office. And I couldn't believe I was like, oh my gosh, I think she's going to gain it back

because she needs to keep the friends. and the friends were so important. Sure enough, she lost like 60, 70 pounds and then within six months after losing it because the friends, her closest friends were, they didn't say, oh, your weight loss has gotten in the way of our friendship. They went after other things. They made her feel guilty. Yeah. And that happens all the time. We see a lot of moms, right? They don't put themselves first because they feel guilty about not being there for their kids. So instead of like, exercising, they'll like do something else that's for someone else. And I'm not a, I'm not a believer in that. Because I think you're a better mom, a better friend, a better wife, a better

coworker when you actually put yourself first. And because what is that message that you're saying, right? You're saying that like, I don't really think I'm, you know, I'm not worthy enough. What happens if I think if you put yourself first and you show that you're serious about that, you enter or you you show up differently right like you show up with more first of all if you start like working out the amount of energy that you get just from that alone you become a better mother you're also becoming a better everything because you have more energy you're also showing you're you're an example i feel like you're right that that could happen that happens all the time and it's about how do you kind of move past that and over that so you could you know put

yourself first. And the truth the matter is, it's like, again, it's practice. You try doing it, you know, you do it little by little. And the people who don't like it, you're right, sometimes that's going to happen. You're going to lose friends. You're going to lose people. But I feel bad for your coat that, the person you work with because that says, you know what I mean? Because that's like something, that's something within her that she has to figure out. Why did she allow other people to dictate her reality? Why did she not allow that? That's like something. sometimes so deep that it becomes much more than just, just try this, just through practice. Do you know what I mean? But I also think it takes an awareness. Like she wasn't even aware it was

happening. I like sat back and just watched the whole thing. And I think that's what I want our listeners to hear because, you know, we do a lot of fasting in my group. And fasting is a mindset. It's all a mental game. And so what ends up happening, it's hard. And what happens is that you hit blocks. And once you hit those blocks, all of your limiting beliefs come up. And if you have somebody in your ear going, what are you doing? What do you mean you're not eating today? Why are you not eating today? And it's, I love this idea that you create about let's be bold and step out into something different. But what so many people will do is they'll shrink back down. You're right. It's tough. I don't really want to try. Why am I doing it? And they just will buy into other people's limited thinking. Well, it's also like understanding why you're doing something, right? And being really, really committed to that reason. So I believe that motivation is not really a real thing. I don't believe in willpower. I think those are very fleeting emotions, right? You can be extremely motivated one day and be very lackluster the next day. Same with willpower. You could be, I can have a lot of willpower now and then tomorrow eat 10 cakes, you know? You have to find a bigger reason than just using those two tools. as your motivating, hate to say, motivating factor, right? Because or else that will happen. You'll go right back to where you were. So what is the reason? Maybe you're a coworker that's other person that happens all the time. They're not concrete as to why they're doing it. They're not focusing in all the

things that they will get from that new transition, that new lifestyle. So like you have to have, it's all about, it's about reframing your mindset, right? Like, figuring out why you're really doing something, being committed, and discipline. Discipline is also something that needs to be practiced because people don't have a lot of it naturally. So a lot of times, you know, some people do. But like that fasting that you're, what you're just talking about and what you do all the time, to me, that would be really hard, really hard. Like I don't know how I would say to myself, what's the purpose, unless you're going to say to me, this is what you're going to get out of it. I would have to be so committed to the

project that I must be I must really not like where I'm at where I really want that stuff is such a better alternative to how I feel right now that would be enough of the minds of the reason for me to stay on path or if if you got a cancer diagnosis oh well that's up we'll say now but so it all comes back to why because if you if you sitting where you're sitting I can understand that but if you if you had a cancer diagnosis and you came to me and you're like hey I heard fasting could help with cancer. And you were... That's a huge why.

A huge why. So this is what I see and this, I'm so glad we're talking about this because I see so many people that want to lose weight. But why do you want to lose weight? Like, do you think that number on the scale is a powerful enough why? No. In fact, you know, I was just talking about this the other day is that I'm reading a book for a guest I'm having on that the fact is what really makes someone happy.

people think if they're successful, right, that that's going to bring happiness when really it's the alternative. You have to be happy first for it to bring success. It's like a switched thing, right? Like the people think, oh, if I lose this 10 pounds, I'm going to be so super happy. They lose the 10 pounds and they're still miserable. Why? Because they really weren't happy in the first place. They're focusing on the wrong thing to bring them that real happiness, right? And I just think that a number is not enough of a reason. You know, there has to be, are you in, are you, are, if you want to lose weight, do I say like, do you have, do you have little energy to play with your kids? Do you have not enough energy to like get through the day? That's a good reason, right? You want to have more energy. You, you, you have a lot of, you know, you have a lot of inflammation for another reason. You know, there's so many other reasons that actually are much more powerful. But you need to be in that sort of like place where you really want the alternative to what you have right now. Because just for. you know, because I want the number to be less, it's not enough of a reason. Right. Yeah. I call it stirring the

hurt. Sometimes you have to just sit and go, this really sucks. Like if you're given a cancer diagnosis, you quickly go, that sucks. Yeah. I got to do something. But if you are wanting to lose 30 pounds, you have to be in a place of like, this sucks. It's affecting my marriage. I hate every time I pull on my jeans and they don't, I have to loosen the belt. I hate how I feel and X, Y, and Z. we will justify the mediocre, mediocre health that we have. Absolutely. That's so true. And then I want to ask you, because you do these five-day fast, you said, right?

Yeah, yeah. So what? We need to join our group. I was going to say, well, first of all, I can't even do a one-day fast. How, when is the benefit from, I know I'm on your podcast, but what do you say the benefit is of doing five-day fasts? Well, there's a ton of benefits, and it's all based off science. So the overarching is that.

inflammation goes down and the body detoxifies itself. So we were programmed to go without food. So when we start to fast, what we do is we tap into this primitive programming. The challenge that we have, and we've seen all kinds of, I mean, I could tell you miracle story after miracle story that I've seen with our resetters. It's truly unreal, how powerful the body is when you just take food out of the equation. So, but the challenge is, is that most people aren't what we call metabolically flexible. So you've heard that, yeah. So you do it to be metabolically flexible. Yeah.

So when you first make that switch over, and this is where the why is so important because when you first make that switch over, you don't feel so good. I'm sure it's like exercise. If you take somebody who's never exercised before and then you take them through a workout, it's going to suck for a moment.

It's going to even suck the next day. Right. Do you go from zero to 60 or do you tell people, No. Okay, start with a one-day fast. Okay, okay. That's what I was curious. We start with intermittent fasting, which is 15 hours. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you start with that. And do you, how often do these five-day fast? Once a month. And I always give people, I give people two options. They can do a fast that we've created or they can do a water fast, depending on what they want to do. But we call it fast training week. So the idea is to actually exercise your fasting muscle. The idea is not to, you know, be perfect. The idea is to really understand what it's like to be, to go into these places where you, you know, what can fasting do for you? And it's really, the other thing on the weight loss is that when you start to fast, what the body does is it says, hey, wait a second, I think I stored a lot of glucose and insulin in fat like years ago. And I don't see any more coming in. So I think I'm

going to go grab that and burn that. So it's really great way to get it stubborn weight. Really? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I'll talk to you after this. Well, you know what? I'm fascinated by this because this is another one of these things that I've been hearing a lot about lately. Yeah. And someone who like just loves food, it must be a really hard thing to get them to like, I'm all about like, about your mindset and mental like tricks and my, that's why it's like, how do you get someone who loves food to do a five day fast? I can imagine. Yeah, that's why you have to, a couple of things. have to train yourself.

So you slowly. Yeah. For sure. But your why, you have to know your why. I mean, I think that in all things. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. If you don't have a good strong why, then you're going to waver.

And if you have people around you that are telling you things, then it's easy to waver. But the way that the body was designed, what's so cool is you'll hit a point where you stop becoming hungry. You're incredibly mentally clear. You don't need as much sleep. Like, you, if you've never experienced your body performing at that level, it's truly insane. So then people kind of get addicted to it.

They're like, whoa, that was amazing. Let's do that again. I love it. Yeah, it's awesome. It's awesome. But this is why I wanted to bring you on is because so many of my resetters are, they come up with the mental blocks. And I just think we need more.

It's almost like they need more of a tool set on how do you get over peer pressure? How do you get over the pain of and suffering moments? I love your restaurant story. Like, oh my gosh, I've been with my functional medicine doctors, and we will get into a restaurant, and they all have special orders. And people would be, people are not willing to do that. Oh, I have this, I have this conversation all the time because it's like, when I go up for lunch with people who are people I'm not really that close with,

you know, like work people, like business meetings, you know, I don't want to like compromise my, my philosophy to, because I want to make someone else feel uncomfortable, right? It's not part of who I am. So I have a real struggle with that. So you have to let a lot of this stuff go. You've got to like, I'm telling you have to be able to be okay with how you feel. Don't let other people's, you know, nonsense or their issues kind of permeate what's important to you. And that's why so much of this is practicing on baby steps, like little small things, right?

Like now, you know, I go, I think about it for a second. Like, maybe I should just like order something off the menu and like just like just be easy. And then I'm like, screw that. No, I don't want to do that because that's not who I am. And, you know, you can't please everybody all the time. And the people who, you know, who are going to be okay with it, they are going to be any other people, you know, it's just, it's going to be, it's going to have to be okay with me. So I am like that. I think, I think that if people don't feel like that,

like I said, that's why it's like a lot of that is practice. I wasn't always like this, you know, but I've been doing it for so long where I just, that becomes my new normal. Like everything, you just, you have to use your word, reset. A lot of times you need to reset your train of thinking, your mindset, right, by doing it, by doing it baby step, little by little, like how you do your five-day fasting, you start people with intermittent fasting, right? And then you work up to one day, and then you go to five days. But it's the same thing with like training your brain to feel a certain way, to be a certain way, right? You don't just go from like zero to 60 and be like, okay, here it is. But like it's baby steps with every little thing. And that, like I said, until it becomes like

second nature and autopilot. Yeah. Then you're limitless. Right. Then you really are limitless. But there's no such thing as failure or rejection. You just go. You just go. You know, and like, and you have to be okay with like how other people, not everyone's going to always agree with everything. I mean, a lot of people, I'm sure, like you said, hear this about five days of fasting. And they're like, oh my God, you're crazy. This is so stupid. Why would anyone do that? And you'll find a thousand arguments, you know, you ask a thousand people, you're going to get a thousand different responses, right? But you've got to be okay with that and find your why and be committed to that commitment. Yeah. So here's an interesting thought. When you have a bold thing you're going after,

do you ask other people's opinion or do you just like, if you have a bold ass, do you like bounce it off your favorite friend or you're like, hey, I want that. I'm going to go get that. No, I don't ask anybody. I don't ask anybody. Because you know what the truth is? Because that's when that's when that's when that's when this self-doubt comes in, right? Because the chances of people are going to say, yeah, that's a great idea. Because again, you're using your, you're like, you're letting other people's issues and opinions affect what you want to do for yourself. A lot of times when people, people have a lot of ulterior motives to how they think, why they respond the way they do. So why would you base your, yourself, on somebody else. Yeah. Like that doesn't make any sense to me. And also, like, again, it's like it's after a while, it's after practice.

I don't want, I don't need to have someone else tell me why a million reasons why something won't happen. Yeah. Oh my God. It's, it's perfect because I do think you're right that we all have our own, we're coming with our own belief system. So even if I'm asking my closest friend something, then I'm getting their belief system I'm now intertwined with my belief system.

And do I want that? Like, I've become as the older I get, the more protective I am about who I let in here into my brain because I don't, I want to make sure that I don't limit myself. I want to always be willing to see the highest version of me and my life for myself. I don't need, I don't need everybody's opinion. Right, because people are coming to the party with all, it's all relative to what they experience, right? And to who they are as a person. And a lot of times, you may think that you're very similar to somebody because you like, you have a conversation, but you have no idea. Like,

they're storing whatever, 30 years of their, whatever their experience of life is, 40 years. And they're bringing that into the conversation. You don't know anything else except what you know. I always say to people, like, you don't know what you don't know, right? And then like, then you're going to bring that in to like make up what you're going to do and how you're going to live your life and what you're going to do. I just, I just don't like that. And a lot of times, like I said, in my life, there's been a lot of times, I'm like, I'm going to go after Keanu Reeves or whoever it is. And people like are said, no, no, why this, why that. Then they can think of a thousand reasons why something can't happen versus, you know, versus like just trying, versus me who just would

just go after it. So right. Yeah. That's awesome. So, okay, you answered the, the one you didn't ask you didn't get. What's the biggest ask you asked? board that you did get. Oh my gosh. You've had some pretty incredible guests on your podcast. I mean, yeah. So there, I mean, that's like a really, that's a really good question because there's so, there's so many things. I mean, just from my podcast alone, right? Like, I was something that I was so scared of doing. It seemed like a really overwhelming, daunting task. And then when I partnered with entrepreneur, I asked entrepreneur to partner with me. Didn't think that was going to happen. A lot of the guests I've had on my podcasts are very big guests.

And, you know, a lot of people, all of those were just me asking. And a lot of them were people that I didn't even know, but I started asking around and I was able to get them. There's been so many things. Like, gosh, I don't even know. I got, when I was younger, I used to work for the Toronto Raptors. And I went after that job and people, I was very, very young. And everybody else at the job was much, much, much older than I was.

A couple of the people on your podcast. were interesting to me. Michael Beckwith. Do you go to Agape? Oops. I don't go to Agape, but I met him through something totally different and, you know, I asked him to be on my podcast. Yeah. He's amazing. My mom, so my mom is in her 80s and when she turned 70, she decided to go to ministerial school at Agape. Really? Yeah. In her 70s, became a minister and studied under him. And he, I've met him several times he's profound. Yeah, he was really great. I really liked him. His story was super interesting. I mean, I didn't know that he was a drug addict or a drug dealer. Oh yeah. Not a drug addict, drug dealer. Yep. And he literally had a total shift in life. You know, it's amazing. Yeah. And Dr. Oz,

how did you get Dr. Oz on? Again, you know what it is? This is what I was going to say. The Dr. Oz was a huge ass. That was a big one, actually, because I became friends with a friend of his. And I asked him to get to him. It took a long time, actually. That was not an easy one. It took more than 10 asks. It took about eight asks to get Dr. Odds. And I think my entire, I think that everything on my resume,

I have been multiple asks, not just one. And to answer your question, can I get back to you? Because there's been, there's been so many things that I've asked for that like it's all blending together. I would say maybe the Keanu Reeves has been the biggest one, and I'll tell you why. Not just because of Keanu Reeves, because that's not what it is, but it's because it showed me in that moment that really anything is possible that you can't let up. You have to just go after it because I was such a young kid.

I was such an impressionable kid, and he was the biggest movie star of the world at the time. Oh, yeah. You know? And what that did was it just kind of like, it gave me the overriding confidence to just be bold. That was like kind of like the stamp, you know, like, you know what? This proves that being bold, asking for what you want, you never know unless you ask, was the worst that can happen. And he was kind of, he was basically the catalyst that kind of drove a lot of the other things afterwards. Yeah, because you probably felt a whole lot bolder after that. Yeah. And I felt, and I felt, I felt like, especially because I felt like so many people thought it wasn't possible that when I was able to overcome that of that thing, it took away a lot of self-doubt. And I think everybody has

that Keanu moment. Everyone will have one moment in time when they can, they can attach themselves to it. Say, you know what, this proves that I can do that, you know, to succeed. And, you know, to succeed. So if it's like if it's going to be fasting, if it's going to be weight loss, whatever it is, you have to, you've got to pull, you've got to take your brain back to where you were, you had success in something before. And that, that success can help drive you to the next success, right? Because you're, you're basically like, you're basically connecting those like those neurotransmitters, right? Like if I succeeded here, I can do it again. You have to actually really believe, like there's been all this research about like belief, right? If I believe I can do something, then I can do something. If I believe that I cannot do that thing, that I will not be able to. That's so true. Right? And it's been a ton of research based on that.

And the question then becomes, how do you start training your brain to really believe in that you're capable of whatever X may be? And the first step is to remember a time when you've had that success somewhere else. And then that will help you and focus on that to get you to the next thing. I love that. And so was the Toronto Raptor experience that was after Keanu Reeves? Yeah. So yeah, that was after Keanu Reeves.

A few years after Keanu Reeves. But yeah, but like, but it was because of that. I'm like, listen, I got to him. And so I was like, if I can get to him, then I can get to so and so. And that's actually been a big pattern in my life, right? Like I like thread the needle, right? I go from, okay, so I know this person who knows that. It's like a big puzzle, right?

And I basically reverse engineer it. I really want Dr. Oz. How am I going to, who do I know who knows someone who knows someone who knows him? All right. Let me to start that, you know? I love it. I love it. And did you say you were the youngest person working at the Toronto Raptors?

Yeah, I was the youngest executive. And again, I was laughed at all. Most of my things have always been like that where people are like, yeah, why would they give you the job? You're not, you're not, you don't have enough experience. You're too young. You're too this. You're too that.

And like people's like naysing have, I basically, I've like, I've either proved people wrong, right? By by being even that much more aggressive, right? And or just not listening to that stuff like channel, focusing on things that I have done. Like the Kianna thing made me to get the job at the Toronto Raptors, I focused on a Kiana Reeves thing. To get the thing over here, I focus on that. I love that. I love that. So, okay, and you have a book that just, you have a new book that came out. Oh, that, well, that book's a little bit old, but I'm, not, not old, but like it's like, it's about a year old, but it's very good for what we're doing right now in time, which is,

it's basically a fitness book that is a journal. So you can track your progress and keep yourself accountable. And what it does is you, there's also, it comes with an exercise library. So you can actually watch the exercises and then do them. So it's not just from a picture in a book. And it's called Badass Body Goals. I love the name. Thank you. And I will offer all of your listeners, 50% off. They can just use a code. I'll make a code for you. Thank you. I'll call it Dr. Mindy 50 or Mindy 50. Awesome. Awesome. Whatever you want to make it. It's great. We'll put it in. But yeah, that would be, that would be awesome. And then you have a podcast. I have a podcast and that's called Habits and Hustle. Okay. And what do you guys talk about on the podcast?

We talk, so the whole podcast is based around, I talk to thought leaders and people who've achieved enormous success in life and been like trailblazers, thought leaders, and talk about what their habits are, how they got there, and like the hustle to get there. And then I try to give all my listeners like practical information where they can integrate it into their own life. So I don't like to to talk about things and then it's like, well, great, now what am I going to do with all that? You know, like, great. Right? So it's like, how do I take that information, utilize that information, and then apply it to my life to get to the next stage, the next level of my journey?

Right. What's the common theme you've seen of all successful people and their habits? Discipline. People have to learn discipline, number one. that it's not, if you don't have discipline, not everyone is born with discipline, but you've got to train yourself to be disciplined and to have routines and structures in place. Because people's life ebb and flows. But if you have a structure, if you have a routine, that keeps you on point to be successful. And a lot of people, then it gets into the nitty gritty, like what exactly do they do?

A lot of people I find are really big in meditation. A lot of people wake up extremely. dreamly early. I mean like 4.30 the morning, 5.30 in the morning. A lot of people like do a lot of journaling. There's a lot of like little things that like people do as part of their routine and their structure. But the number one thing, the number one thing is 99% of the people I have on my podcast, exercise daily. That's number one. Interesting. Right. And there's a and there's a big correlation between exercise and success in life. A big one. Interesting.

Because exercise teaches people discipline. Interesting. Right? Because you do it over and over again. It's the consistency. You have to be disciplined. It teaches you discipline. It teaches you goal setting.

It teaches you that as you progress through something, that's the best motivation to keep on going and to move forward and to keep on reaching new goals. and different goals. And I think that you don't have to be an endurance, you know, endurance athlete or a marathoner, but you do have to do something daily exercise wise. I don't care if it's yoga. I don't care if it's running. I don't care what it is. But to take something serious, to do something daily for that consistency to start building those other habits that help you across the board with life.

That's brilliant. That's brilliant. I love that. And it probably doesn't even need. to be a much. It's just that you're dedicating yourself. You're dedicated, showing discipline. And how you do one thing in life is typically how you do everything in life, right? So that's why. Have you had Ben Greenfield on your podcast? Not yet. It's funny. It's not yet, but I think he's going to come on. I hope he's going to come on. Actually, I really, I like it. Well, he's very extreme. Yes. He's very extreme. And I'm very interested in him. Yeah. Have you had him on yours? Yeah, no, we haven't, but the group of doctors that we hang out with, they are really, they love him. They love him. Yeah, and he's spoken to our group several times.

So, yeah. And he, he's totally extreme. He has a really out-of-the-box approach to fitness, but why I brought it up to you is that what I learned from him in the small group that he came and spoke to 30 of us in a group is that he said, when he exercises, he doesn't like have to carve out two hours. He'll say, okay, I've got 10 minutes here. I have 30 minutes here. I've got, you know, 20 minutes at night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just the habit of doing it in these, in these random slots that work for him. A hundred percent. A lot of, and there's a lot of, there's been a lot of research about this. And this is what I tell a lot of people. I've used to talk about this more, not as much recently, but you get more benefit when you chop it up and break, break, up your fitness stuff. It's basically because a lot of people, what they do is they do like two

hours and then they're sedentary the rest of the day. It's better to do like 50 minutes in the, you know, 50 minutes here, another 15 minutes there and basically wake up your body, get your blood circulating more than one time. It's much healthier for yourself, you know, to kind of get everything moving. People, that's what, but that's another thing. People get very overwhelmed and daunted. Like, I don't have an hour. You don't need an hour. You need to dedicate some time. you know, 15 minutes, 10 minutes, whatever you have to the process and to the idea of it. And, you know, a lot of times, by the way, what happens is if you tell yourself, okay, I'll do this for five minutes, a lot of times that five minutes will turn into 20 minutes, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know,

the stop is in the start or the start's in the stop, right? The hardest part is the starting. Once you get going, you're nine and ten times, you're fine. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Okay, let's finish with this thought. I love to know, you know, part of what the people I bring on to my podcast are people who are just like have a mission for the world. They want to help change, make a difference. And they have a message. So if you had one message and it could change over the years. But right now, if you had one message that you would love to get into everybody's brain and really inspire people to be better versions of them, what would that message be? I would say, do you, be you? Don't basically. I think believe it to achieve it. If you really want to achieve something, believe it first. Do you, don't try to be somebody else. Go after what you want. Ask for it. And I think authenticity always wins. Great. I love that. I love that. Okay. Where do people find you? Okay. They can find me on Instagram, on my Instagram at the Real Jen Cohen. I do Habits and Hustle, the podcast. They can find, those are good places. Let's start with that.

Haputts and the real Dan Cohen. How about that? That's awesome. We've been to your website. It's great too. Oh, thank you. I can't wait to dive into your podcast. So thank you.

You're welcome. And also check out my TED Talk. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, you guys have to go to see her TED Talk. Like I said, I sent it to my whole family. And I was like, this is what I'm talking about. Let's all fail together.

This is awesome. So it was great. So thank you. I appreciate you coming on. And hopefully someday are, our paths will meet and we'll see each other face to face. You put organic food in and you shake bad toxins out. That's what it's all about.

You put fast cycling in fast types out. You download Car manager where your food is all graft out. That's what it's all up. That's what resetting is all.