The Ringer NBA Show - D.C.'s White Flag Wednesday With Bill Simmons and Joe House (Ep. 109)

Episode Date: May 11, 2017

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons brings on Joe House to discuss D.C.'s devastating sports night (5:00), the district's Friday-night crowd (11:00), the Wizards' end-of-game situations (16:00), James Harden's management of minutes (20:00), Kyle Lowry's injury (26:00), Otto Porter's midrange misses (33:00), and matchups of the best teams in NBA history against the Warriors (38:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It is Wednesday night, West Coast time, and it is late, late, late. Wednesday night, East Coast time. The Ringer NBA show, today is presented by Seek. That's my favorite place to buy and sell tickets. You can do it with two taps on your phone. Everything is fully guaranteed. I can do this read without even looking at notes right now. In fact, that's what I'm doing.

I'm ad-libbing it. But Seekkeek has been the presenting sponsor of the BS podcast, my podcast, the Bill Simmons podcast. since the beginning of 2016. And if you want to get tickets for anything, including the NBA, NHL, whatever, go to Seekykeek, download their app or go to Seekheat.com. Unfortunately, you can't get tickets for the caps

for round three because they lost. And we're going to talk to Joe House about that. Even though this is the Ringer NBA show, it transcended it tonight because it was, I would say, the biggest all-around sports night, maybe in D.C. sports history, House is going to tell us.

It did not turn out. Well, House, we have been very, very close friends for almost 30 years, and we made a pact. Whatever happened tonight, we were doing this podcast anyway. House, are you okay? I'm alive. Okay. That's good. You're alive.

Well, you sent me a note saying think of, you know, a way to describe tonight. And I thought long and hard about it. What I came up with is it's just another Wednesday night here in Washington, D.C. Watching our sports teams come up, you know, tantalizingly close to transcendent outcomes. And really just the caps, though. I mean, predictable. This is talked about this Wizards Boston series, and I think that's still the... So the three-team parley, caps, whiz, gnats over the Orioles.

don't sleep on the importance of that, somehow relegated to the bronze tonight. But you had those three games going. The three-team parlay was plus 543 if you wanted to bet 100 on it. You bet 100 win 543. If you wanted to bet 100 the other way and bet against all three teams winning simultaneously, it was plus 1,043.

Could have bet $100. How, she could have bet $1,000 tonight against all of your teams have made over $10,000. Why didn't you do that? You shouldn't have done that. Well, look, there's the Nat who, despite being counted in the Orioles, almost all night, the bases are loaded with one out. Oh, there you know.

At that and the bottom of the ninth, so that's just saving grace out of all, out of the three teams, the W that we're going to get possibly. Oh, there it is. Bottom of the ninth. Oh, they're up in Baltimore. I forgot. No, they're not.

They're here. game's over. We won. It's got to be. It's still showing us. The Nats won? I think they did. Oh, congratulations.

All right. We're winners. We're back, baby. D.C.'s back. We're going to cheat, even though it's the ringer NBA show. Let's talk about basketball first. Then we can talk about the D.C. stuff and people can tune out if they want. From a basketball standpoint, I was nervous.

nervous tonight. I did not like how the fur—you thought I was reverse jinxed in you, and I really wasn't. I was actually supposed to go back for Game 5, and I was so upset and out of sorts about how the series was going. I decided not to fly back. I did promise I was going to go back for Game 7 if it happened, but just in the middle of the week, so hard to get back and forth. Did not like how my team was playing. Unfortunately, Avery Bradley didn't tell me who's going to have the best game of his life. Was this the Avery Bradley game? Sure it was, of course. That's the thing about these two teams, right?

The, the, you're your best defender. But in terms, you're not looking for offense. So in each of these home games, you get big prize, you know, in Washington, the only guy that could score for Boston is Isaiah Thomas, and he stopped going to the hole here in D.C. Yeah, because he has like a broken jaw, I think. I think he's missing teeth, but I almost feel like it might be worse than that because even tonight, you know, I think I looked it up at one point. I think he'd had like 14 or 15 shots and three, four, and five total that he made.

And most of them were threes and jumpers. He only had a couple laps. This is somebody that during the season was just finishing all over the place like a maniac on drives. And, you know, understandingly, I wonder was he afraid and is he afraid to get hit in the face on these. drives because he's contorting his body in all these bizarre directions now or he's just kicking it back out over taking the contact only once in this whole game did he actually finish a drive kind of fearlessly like he always does so I do think there might be something uh put to either either that or his mouth just freaking hurts which is also considering well how many teeth

they take out too and they said the other ones were kind of loose um maybe maybe he's just I mean, the poor kid. Yeah. He's going to need a full-on mouth surgery after this. Well, the reason I bring this up is not to criticize him because I would be in the hospital for a month if that happened to me. I would never, much less play basketball. It's really tough for the Celtics team to win when he's not creating points at the basket, which is why you have this game that Avery Bradley had tonight combined with the fact that Beale and Walden didn't shoot well and all of a sudden they're up 20.

but going into Washington game six, they're going to need Isaiah. You're not going to get to save your Bradley game again. As you said, the young guys are always better at home. The role players are always better at home. You guys like Rozier, Marcus Smart was great tonight, but at home, on the road, you might not get that as much. On the flip side for you guys, you know,

the role guys came through in three and four. I'm sure they're going to be good in six. It feels like we've said this for two weeks. It's going seven. It's going to happen. It is going seven. Yeah. Boston.

Are you going to Boston for seven? I'm definitely going to Boston for seven because the scenarios in play, assuming there is a seventh game for game seven Monday night. Let's say they lost that at home for some reason. Then I get to stay there for the lottery the next night with my dad. All of a sudden, that has a chance to be the worst 24 hours of my life. So that's in play. Or the flip side, Selt's win. lottery the next night, do well on that, and then game one against Cleveland on Wednesday night.

Really, it has a chance to be really fun 48 hours. I'll put it this way. I like your odds for a good 24 hours, better than mine. Better than my old past 24 hours. Well, we know how this plays out. We had two massacres here in Washington. Yep. We had the president committed a massacre last night and then the D.C. sports team.

Although the NASC got the W. All right. But, yeah. You got out of a parlay. Yeah, that's true. I didn't even think of the Trump. Trump, we should have thrown Trump into some of those parlays. When is the whiz game?

That's Saturday? No, it's Friday night, 8 o'clock. All right. So walk me through. What kind of crowd is that going to be on Friday night? Okay. Very confident. People bringing their kids kind of crowd.

It's going to be like an adult, everybody drinking beverage, everybody yelling, type of crowd? Yes, 8 o'clock on a Friday night. That's exactly the crowd you're going to get. Is it a late? Arriving crowd? People love this. Well, every crowd so far in these playoffs in D.C.

has been a late arriving crowd because people are budgeting normal time to get through security. And since every game is a sellout, you can't get through security in, you know, five to ten minutes. You have to give it 20 minutes if you show up, you know, if you don't show up early enough. But the crowds have been great. I've been to everybody's been awesome. Did you wear an Ubre jersey? like Ted Leonis or no? I did not.

I was furious. I was a guest in a box for the Ubre Olinic, the Kelly on Kelly crime. Yeah. And I wanted me in the box. And I could not articulate. I could, my brother was sitting next to me and nudging me hard in the ribs to keep it, keep it under the lid. How you thought about Kelly Olinic? Of angry word.

For Kelly Olinic? No, I was mad at Ubre. I was furious at Ubre. Yeah. So dumb. Yeah, it was stupid. We're so far past the point where guys, you know, everybody knows by now you can't do that. And that's been my hope, if I had any hope after those two terrible DC games for the Celtics,

was first of all, the series doesn't start until somebody wins on the other team's floor. Your team immature and loses its poise at the wrong moments, usually on the road. That Ubra thing, even though you won the game, it was just an immature. a moment, you know? The Celtics, it's not like the Celtics don't have immature guys because Marcus Smart is way up there. But, uh, but that's what, like, you get to Game 7, it gets super tense, it slows down a little bit, you know, it gets super physical and who's going to maintain their poise and you have some wild cards in your team. I have Marcus Smart. You have multiple wild cards. I'm less concerned about the poise and the role players. My real is in a game

seven is we've now had three straight games on the road. Yeah. And I can't be more, I'd like to be more generous. I'd like to be more thoughtful. He stunk again tonight. He stunk in game two and he stunk tonight. And game one, he was a, I mean, yeah, game one, he was a non-factor as well. So I don't know, you know, we made this observation at the beginning of the series that, like,

a W on the road would be a huge game out of Bill. We thought he was like, and he has. Yeah. And it's interesting because if he makes that 11-footer at the end of game, too, it's 3-1 coming back to Boston and who knows what happens tonight. I will just tell you, I don't have the history with Bradley Beale that you did. I just know him as the quote-unquote dead-eye shooter, Ray Allen 2.0 potentially, $130 million,

streaky. There's good Bradley Bill one night, not as good Bradley Bill next night. but in that moment I really thought it was going in. I genuinely thought he was going to make it. You felt the opposite. You didn't think it was going in, right? Oh, okay.

I really was. He started off the fourth quarter with kind of an eight-point personal run. I was like, oh, here we go. So he stunked the first three quarters. This is game two we're talking about. He stunked down and got back into it, and then we were exchanging baskets.

And so when the ball bounced to him in that moment, and he's basically at the free throw line or inside of it, I jumped up. I mean, I was on my feet for the shot, and then it didn't hit the front hurt. He alligator-armed. It raised the underside of it. Yeah, that hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt your feelings. Yeah, when you think about it, it flips the series in this respect. Now you have to win five of the seven games, basically. Because you should have won game, too. Should have won game too. Isaiah's done, had games like that 15 times.

but that was his best game of the season statistically, and he played out of his mind, and you still had a chance to close it. You had a terrible John Walthrey, which I was very happy he took, followed by Bradley Biel wide open from 11 feet, with time to actually set it up and shoot it. Let's do a real quick note on this.

What the hell is going on with these end-of-game plays? I know that you watched the end-of-game, the Spurs and Rockets last night. off. Why is that these could, well, what, what is the idea behind letting the point card pound the ball for 14 seconds or 12 seconds or whatever, and then try and initiate all by himself a one-on-one play? Why not run some offense? We know this from, you know, 40 years of basketball consumption. If you just let the defense stand and stare and don't make them move their eyes or move their feet one bit, it's pretty easy to defend the guy. I mean, you know, the, the, the, the,

The big complaint that I've had with John Wall this season, and the reason when we talked about all NBA teams that I gave a slight nudge to Isaiah Thomas ahead of John Wall in terms of NBA, all NBA team number three was because end of game, Wall is just lackluster, but a part of that is because of the concept. Scottie Brooks has been content to let him pound the ball and then take, you know, an off-balance shot from the elbow, and then, and I'm just, I'm tired of it, but it looks like it's a common approach by teams in the league. Yeah, just quickly on WAL, I'd love to see his numbers if you just removed all of his

fast break baskets and his open threes, like what his field goal percentage for everything else was. Because even in game four, which everybody came out of game four, like John Wall, he's amazing, wow, and he was athletically had some, you know, real moments in that game, and he did really well in that game. game. On the other hand, he was eight for 25. And at least three of those baskets, he started 0 for nine. Right. But at least three or four of those baskets were fast break baskets. Like, Bradley's done a nice job staying in front of them. I think Bradley was hurt in game three.

He came out in this game that he had hit pointers. But in game four and game five, I thought he stayed in front of wall. And, you know, it really does seem like Beale is the guy they're thinking about if the game, like if it's a game seven, if it gets there, and things slow down. It's getting there, by the way. Yeah, I have to hedge. Get your plane ticket. My team. Get your plane ticket.

I will say one thing about my team. They have games like tonight where they just make 50% of their threes and become very tough to beat. And you just never know when it's going to happen. So you just can't rule it out. When is the last time they did it on the road? Do they do that against the Bulls? Yeah, they did against the Bulls.

They've done it a bunch of times this year. They did it in Golden Stanley. They've done it in Houston. They did in Utah. I'm not worried about it. I like our chances. I'm not worried about it, said Joe House, as the Celtics put that on their locker room. But back to your point about the terrible end of the game thing, because that allows us

talked about Houston for one second. I was so unhappy with how they handled game five in San Antonio, those last five minutes, and then the OT. And I was 80% unhappy because. We bet on the Rockets to win the series and also to win in six at five to one odds, which really, really hurt my feelings. A lot of feelings hurt on this podcast tonight. But unless James Harding got a concussion when he got popped in the head during that game, I can't excuse anything I saw from him down the stretch. And in OT, like, he was truly terrible.

And if they lose that series combined with, you know, some of the other stuff that's, you know, some of the other stuff that's, tapping him in the playoffs. It's, it's, it's starting to add up for him a little bit. Remember he was awful in the 2012 finals? He was awful in the 2015 conference finals, if I remember. He was, he was really kind of awful in that Klipper series. And then Corey Brewer and Josh Smith saved them in game six. There's a pattern that's starting to develop that I don't like with him. Because if they blow this series, it's because he didn't play well in that stretch. When they, No Kauai, you've got to finish the series at that point. I wasn't happy with how he played.

I'm slightly generous with respect to Hardin, but I would like to make an observation. I'm very glad I'm not a person that votes for League MVP or off right now. If I voted for Mike D. Antony, now I wouldn't have done that, and you and I were in. Imagine being a person for Mike D. Antony. Wonderful accomplishments, that unbelievable triple-double regular season managed to lead his team to one win in the playoffs.

Congratulations. And then this James Hardin, now, in James defense, still not sure he's 100% all the way back. He thought his minutes were so mismanaged last night. Very fair. He was absolutely exhausted in the fourth quarter. And Mike D. Anthony stinks. I mean, we have enough history now.

We've seen him enough. And I think it was, did Danny Chow write the pop? Yeah, he did. Danny Chow loves Dan Tony. I like Danny Chow, but I do not like De Antony. Danny and I seem to be diametrically opposed on a lot of different things, both basketball and basketball writing. But like certain writers we like and things like that. He feels like the Anthony, it's the critically acclaimed thing with Dan.

Antony and it's great and he's had a ton of success. But I feel like we've seen that game. I tweeted this. I watched that game 10 times during the Sun's Spurs mid-2000s playoffera. How many times did we watch that game? You would be both? Yeah. I thought Boris D.O. was going to come out with the Sun's uniform at some point.

I don't know if I got a chance to give it any likes, but I would have given that a million likes. I mean, that's exactly right. I've seen this so many times. this mismanagement they go to he tightens up the rotation our gas

and the real failure to me is a failure of concept I mean this is the same thing that's a stupid

analogy I'm conceding it really really mad that I didn't bet against the wild at the beginning of the hockey playoff he's a wonderful

regular season coach he helps franchises kind of reset themselves and leads them and it makes everybody feel good, and then he gets to the playoffs, and he thinks he can do the exact same thing in the playoffs that he did in the regular season that doesn't work.

It sounds like he should coach Chris Paul. Who? Do you have Tony? No, Bruce Brucho. Bruce Brucho. It sounds like we got to get him and Chris Paul together. They could get to the playoffs and then not have an extra gear. I really hope hard and had his bell rung or something

because he was just, you know, that's one of the, those moments, right? Yeah, I don't, I don't love overreacting to games or series when you're talking about somebody's career, but I do feel like every once in a while during the point of your career, there's a moment when, you know, it's a little tiny fork in the road. It's not a career determining fork in the road, but that was a moment for him in San Antonio, Game 5. It's like, all right, Kauai's out of the game. I'm an MVP candidate who's going to finish either first or second. Seems like it's going to be second. I set all these records during this season.

I'm going to win the game, though. You know? LeBron, put it this way. That game's over if LeBron's on the court. It's like, oh, Kauai's out. It's over. Send everyone home. Go.

Go up the aisles. Don't even watch the last four minutes, you know? And I do think he need to lay the smackdown. Now, if his minutes were mismanaged, as you theorized, I think that's fair. I think that I think Dan Tony has to establish plan. But, God, damn, you're 34 seconds left. you got to come out, come out in regulation with the best play you have in your entire offense, right? That's it.

It's a tie game. I just need to see the ball move. Yeah, this is it. Brad Stevens has some play that he's been saving for five years for that spot. And we've seen a bunch of coaches who have, all right, this is it. I'm coming up with the play that I've kept hitting in the deep recesses of my asshole, like an immunity idol. I've been saving this for five years. I'm going to bring it out right now.

and Houston's play was James Harder dribbling for 20 seconds and then getting off a terrible it was an offensive foul, right? I mean, that was awful. That was the worst play of the players, so I hated it. And it really was an offensive foul. I mean, it wasn't even close.

So anyway, back to the Wiz. Well, you just said the name. We had to do a very quick aside. We need to do to quickly genuflect. The two best players in the part, to me, LeBron and Kevin Durant, like, you know, reminder who are the best, you know, the best guys and the best in the biggest moment leading their teams, you know, it's a slight letdown, the inevitability of it all, but, you know,

holy shit, I'm enjoying watching the games. These blowouts? We came up with this whole rigmarole. We had a whole explanation for out there and that they might be ready and we like the moves that made in the trade deadline and boy. Yeah, I got to say, the Kyle Lowry thing, I feel like people skimped over that. Like, it was not a huge thing. He wasn't, he never really looked right from when he came back.

You know, he got hurt, hurt his wrist. I never felt like he was the same after that. It wasn't a Kyle Lowry, you know, we were watching in November, December, January. And part of me wonders with sports sometimes when a team, especially when you're going against LeBron when he's playing like that and a team knows they don't have their guy and there's like a little bit of hopelessness sets in, you know, and then on top of it, LeBron is just, you know, playing as well as we've ever seen him play. Really, really great. I'm with you on Duran. I thought game three was in Utah, which I watched every play of. Team wasn't playing well.

Clay's off. Crowd's really into it. Utah's playing pretty well. Curry's not on. And Durant's just like, all right, guys, I got this. Like, to have just in your hip pocket one of the five most ridiculously efficient scores of all time, who's like, all right, guys, I got this. I'm going to score 38 and just get every shot he wants. That was, out of all these playoff games, that was the one that scared me the most as a basketball fan. I was like, Jesus.

You know, it would have been really interesting if he signed with. you guys. And it wasn't even on the table. He never even had a meeting. But if he had signed with the Wizards, with all the other people, you just exchange Jan Mahimni for Kevin Durant. Pretty interesting. You think the Wizards would be better? I do.

I really do. I think they'd be better. That's your professional opinion. But damn. I mean, and that's why, you know, people are giving me shit still about when you were two and eight and I was saying how you should trade wall. I mean, you were two and eight. Deservidly. Deservidly giving you shit.

Yeah, but you're two and eight, and you hadn't done jack shit with them. But, and I, and you, your franchises at the point where Kevin Durant, who's from Washington, didn't even want to waste this time having a meeting with them. But now I think, like, if this wizard season was happening last year, I think you have a chance, right? And he, he is, he's telling the truth. that DC never going to, it would be so complicated for him to live here

and work here and have his family and extended, you don't think so? I think that's, I think he was being nice. He wanted to go to, he wanted to win a title.

He looked at all the teams that allowed him to win the title and he looked at, he settled on the Warriors, the Thunder, and the Celtics. Maybe took a sniff at the Spurs, but not really.

And, and he wanted to win the title. He wanted to, you wanted to have a change. championship ring. He was worried that if you go to Washington, you're no further or closer than you were with Westbrook and OKC. But... Well, it is kind of interesting now. If... You know, as feeling that they seem to have now, I do wonder if Al Horford has any slight regret over the Celtics. You know, they may yet

win this series, but talent-wise, they're not better than the Wizards. They're still, they're still pieces away. And what you're going to do is draft some young kids. Huh? They're better with him. But we have the assets. You have no assets other than the team you have, and you're probably going to lose Otto Porter. It's a loss.

I mean, you can't afford it. It doesn't make sense. Right. To pay, it makes more sense to save that powder for 2018 and see what you get with Ubre. I mean, I'll take the 60 cents on the dollar that Kelly Ubrey represents right now. I would not re-sign Otto Porter for 20 million year.

I'll tell you this. I want to play this game with you, actually. We're in lockstep. So let's play a game called, all right, before we play this game, I wanted to tell everybody about the new Ringer podcast that launches on Thursday, May 11th, actually, by the time you're probably listening to this, Larry Wilmore, black on the air. That's right. Larry Wilmore, his own podcast, he's going to be interviewing different people every week from sports, politics, entertainment, hard news, you name it. He has never had a podcast before. I think he's the last person who didn't have a podcast, but now he has one. I think it's going to be fantastic.

He conscribed to it now on iTunes, Stitcher, SoundCloud, Google. Spotify apparently has a podcast now. Tate's nodding. So yeah, Larry Wilmore, black on the air. Check that out. All right, we're going to play a game. I don't think you really know a team until you're rooting against them in a playoff series, right? Yes, totally agree with that.

Doesn't you learn, you know, this is why I just said what I said about Horford. Yeah. So I'm going to tell you, we'll go back and forth. I'll give you something I learned about your team and vice versa. By the way, it's funny, people in my life have said to me, like, are you in House talking? Are you in House? Are you guys ever going to be the same after this? I'm like, House did I haven't had a fight in 29 years.

We're going to be fine. It's like, if the Wizards win, I'm going to be happy for House. I'm not going to be like, fuck that guy. I'm not talking about them for three weeks. Like, hey, the friendship's more important than the playoffs series. All right, so here's my point number one about your team. Every time Otto Porter shoots a long two, I'm excited. I can't wait for him to release it.

Yeah. I don't know what his stats are. That's wonderful back and forth. Yeah. Because I feel the exact same way. Yeah. About Jay Crowder. Who is Jay Crowder shoot the ball?

Oh, God. We exchanged notes about this. His game won six for us. straight from three was like manna from heaven. Thank God Jay Crowder made all those. It emboldened him to keep shooting, keep shooting Jay Crowder. Yeah. My dad said the same thing.

He's like, he was a great game, but Crowder made too many threes. Now he thinks he's a three-point shooters. My dad, my dad, when they, Jay Crowder's been a great Celtic, but when they trade him or whatever happens or he signs somewhere else, there's not going to be a lot of tears shed in my dad's house. that there's not going to take the Kleenex out or any of that stuff but um

they're going to light a candle for Jay it's great Celtic very played hard good leader whole thing but man yeah I mean every time so they have the same problem they both take the the three when they're wide open and their feet are set is pretty money for the most part any other type of three or long two is a disaster

anytime their body is moving it even imperceptibly it's over All right, I'm going to give you another one. I like this game. What's your next point? Yeah, go ahead. My next point is that I feel like Al Horford could score on Marcine Gortat every single time, and I think he's atrocious defensively, and it really bothers me that the Celtics don't attack him more.

Is he as bad defensively as I feel like he is in my head? It's a whole defense. He is not a rim protector in any way, shape, or form. I think about the Hawks and why it seemed like they were waving the white flag from the beginning. Let me put it this way. They were waving the Dwight flag. That's awful. But he could have average 25 and 15.

He kills Gortat. And it befuddled me that they did not, you know, just let him touch the ball 30 times a game. It appeared immediately that they were not serious about what in the series. And it further emphasized, everybody hates Dwight Howard. I mean, even his own team. The Dwight Bolivirus. Yeah, it seems like.

It's true. When the Seltz clear any space for Horford to operate on Gortat, it seems like it always leads to something good. All right, you go. I don't understand, maybe you can help me. How is it that the Celtics only have four starters? Why are we having this rotating between Amir Johnson and Gerald Green? What is going on? Who's the normal fifth starter for the Celtics?

Weirdly, it was Amir Johnson a lot of the time, but they never really found one. And the hope was that by March Jalen Brown was going to be able to move in there. But as you saw tonight, like he comes in. He's during the headlights for five minutes. You forget he's out there. Then he gets hot for a second. You're like, oh, Jalen Brown, here he comes. Then he disappears again.

Like, you can't rely. He fouled Jan Mahimni on a 30-foot shot. So you can't rely on him. True. Amir is a great teammate. I feel bad saying anything bad about him. but his ankles are just shot. I mean,

he's just, he can't jump. I mean, that alleyupy had in game five, it was shocking. I couldn't believe he could even dunk anymore. And then Gerald Green barely played all year.

They've never had that, that fifth guy. That's what's funny about this lottery pick they have. People are like, what are they going to do with all, how are they going to fit? It's like, we're starting Amir Johnson.

Anyone we get with this lottery pick is going to immediately help the team. Like, Josh Jackson will play for the Celtics right away, much less false, any of these people. But yeah, it's pretty bad. I was hurt and disappointed and shocked and surprised that Amir started game five. And then he actually played half decent. I think they keep him in just because he's long.

And they just wanted more arms near the basket. Everything they did tonight was geared around. Don't let John Wall get into a groove and get to the basket and do John Wall things and start feeling himself. That seemed like the game playing. But I will say he's allowed to have one bad game. Yeah. Tonight was it.

Yeah. All right, here's that that will lead my next thing I was going to say about the WIS. It seems like you have a team that's a lot more dangerous when they're up 15 than they are in a two-point game, if that makes sense. I'm not sure about that because they have big leads this season as evidenced by games one and two in Boston. Oh, okay. I meant more from like a confidence swagger. Well, that's just because you have a bad defense.

Yeah, I mean, there is no amount that they can be up in the first part of a game and feel comfortable with that lead. That's why game four, you know, they're pretty mediocre first half and then coming out and ripping off about them winning that game. I didn't think that the belt we're going to come all the way back in the fourth quarter. I'm going to give you another one. Every time John Wall shoots a three, I'm excited. I don't know what his percentages are.

I don't ever feel like they're going in. Even when they go in, I'm surprised. I'm going to look up as percentages right now. I'm sure they're not bad. I'm sure they're like 36, 37%. Hold my breath a little bit. You know, I expected to miss. as a fan watching the game

he's earned the right to take it and a lot of times they leave him alone but you know I'd be surprised if it's much over 40%. I'd be surprised if it's over 40%. 2015 30% 2016-35 2017-32.7

and it seems like the Celtics are very happy whenever he takes it go ahead, have it your way What else? Do you have a Kelly Olinic comment for me? No, I mean, he is who he is. Are you afraid of him? Do you think it's going in when he shoots?

He stinks at basketball. He's a big body. I mean, he's an agitator. He is a goof. I do believe draw the ire of opponents is through. Now, I really can't excuse the Kevin Love arm wrench. Kelly B. Kelly Olinic being a... He's a big dofus.

I'm curious about... He's a big doofus. Yeah. Why does Horford in Brad Stevens' scheme end up on the perimeter so much? Because they try to bring the big guy that's guarding him away from the basket, which allows Isaiah and Bradley to drive.

You stack of spice rebounds that way. I know. And I understand we're kind of in a moment in the league where everybody's giving up on offensive rebound. Yeah. Well, also, they're giving up on them so they can get back defensively so nobody gets fast breaks on them. But one of the reasons Isaiah was able to score almost 30 points a game this year was because Olinnic and Horford cleared out the paint. And that's why, like, you look at, I don't know, somebody like Iverson 15 years ago. I actually went, I watched some Iverson on YouTube to try to figure out how different it was than Isaiah. From what I saw Alan

Iverson took more jump shots and long twos and shots from like the 16 to 20 range than Isaiah does obviously because they didn't know about the three point efficiency but he he didn't have the same driving lanes because they had like you know Tyrone Hill and de Kempi Matumbo at there at the same time where we're and plus their defenders standing next to them so how the hell is Alan Averson to get to the basket in a half court offense there's four guys in the paint and we're seven feet tall we're valued the idea was to try and score as close to the Yeah, our friend Hershey, who hates when I bring his name up, but we're actually talking about NBA finals logistics.

But I was saying to him, like, I don't know what would happen if the 86 Celtics played, you know, the 2017 Warriors other than the Celtics losing by 30 points. And maybe you could say like, all right, the 86 Celtics have a year to figure out how to play basketball the way it's being played down. They'd adjust accordingly. And Mikhail would shoot more threes. and they'd play Scott Wedman more and things like that. But if you just pulled them out of a time machine and put them on a court against this basketball,

they wouldn't know what the fuck to do. They were geared toward getting two points. So were the Showtime Lakers. Showtime Lakers are just trying to layups and skyhooks. They weren't built to shoot threes. But I'm not so sure. That's interesting. You know, I think we had kind of a soft rebuttal

to the efficiency. Steers came back against Golden State and the way that the Cavaliers two years ago, damn near beat Golden State until Kyrie got hurt. I mean, the Cavs should have been up in that series, if you recall. They should have been up 3-0. And they had an end of game. LeBron missed something.

They made a turnover or whatever, but it's still the case that being able to score down low and being able to rebound the ball at crunch time in the playoffs. I mean, over the course of a regular season, I understand your point. Well, we always used to say that the, Finals was decided by the three feet in front of the rim. It's still the case. I still believe that.

Yeah. I don't know what to believe anymore. I just think about like the Celtics trying. So we're, all right, we got Parrish Bird and McHale out there. And the Warriors have Draymond, Durant, and Iguodala. And they put Igudala on Bird. they put Draymond on Parrish and they put

Durant on McAil and I think McHale would do whatever he wants On the other hand they'd be trapping them they'd be doing all the stuff they'd basically be forcing Dennis Johnson and Danny Hatch to shoot every time

because the coaching is much better now and they'd know all right every time they do this we're doubling them and this will happen on the other end I guess McAil guards Durant parish

I don't know what the fuck you do with Parrish? Where does he go? That's the problem. Where does he go? I don't think you play him. I think they play Michaela at the 5. They play Bird at the 4 and then they play like Scott Wedman at Small Forward. And I think Parrish plays like 15 minutes a game. So now I've completely changed the greatest team of all time.

You know, high 50s, low 60s. So maybe you just take your lumps on the defensive end with Parrish. So those three guys are going to get you a basket. nearly 60%. I don't think he could spend any one of them. A lot of Parrish's value was defending the other team's center, and if the other team didn't have a center, maybe you just play your best five offensively.

Then you look at the Lakers, and here's the case for Kareem, as still to this day, either the third or fourth best player of all time. I think LeBron has probably passed him. But Kareem against this Warriors team, it's a fucking rap. Sayonara. Who's guarding him?

I agree. The rant's going to guard him? Who is guarding Karim on the... So it's almost like I have to flip the 86 Celtics because I don't know how they do against the Warriors. It would be unbelievable to find out.

But I know that the 87 Lakers would be a fucking handful for this Warriors team. It sure does feel like it doesn't I guess you'd have to go 85 Lakers because you get a better version of Kareem. But Kareem being guarded by

They'd have to play Javel McGee, so instantly I've changed the Warriors. Kareem would foul out Javille Magri in five minutes. Then you'd have magic posting up Steph Curry. Who does Draymond guard? I guess Draymond would guard magic in that series, right? So then where, so Kurt. That's incredible. Wow.

Who guards James, I guess Duran has to guard Jamesworthy. That's a bad matchup for them. They'd have to outscore the 87 Lakers. Who might have to re-stakes? Then the 96 Bulls are, just like, fine, fuck you. Here's MJ and Scotty. Here you go.

And Rodman's going to get every rebound. And Rodman. We don't care who else who have. Yeah. Good luck. Pippen's going to guard Durant. Good luck finding anyone to guard MJ because you don't have that person on your team.

And we're ready to roll. Draymond would try, right? Jemann would try against MJ. He got Jemont thrown out of the series by game two. Yeah, Draymond had to try and kick MJ in the ball. He would make, he would make. Clay Thompson cry probably in game two.

I think he'd make all of it happen in game two. Dremont's out for the series and in jail. Clay Thompson sobs on the court, has to get a counselor. And yeah, I think they'd be in trouble. So yeah, just for everyone saying the words of the greatest team of all time, like it, go on YouTube and watch.

I don't know. It's recency bias. People think LeBron's the best part of all time. They weren't paying attention in the 90s, apparently. LeBron's up there. LeBron isn't going to make the final seven straight time. LeBron's making a case. Seven straight finals is pretty pretty freaking impressive.

So you think you win game six in Washington Friday night? It's my freaking birthday. It's the least they can do. Wait, give me a W on my birthday. Is that too much to ask? I hired a stripper to dress like Ted Sarandos in an Ubre jersey, built the same way, and they're going to jump out of a cake for you at half a It's actually Ted Sarandis.

I don't want to spoil it, but it is. That's who it is. That's Ted Saranus. He's getting jump out of a cave. That Ted Sarandis, who's your owner, Ted Leonesis? I'm getting old. I had Tate not a lot of Thai food earlier. Ted Leonesis.

I think you had some of the bourbon that I was showing earlier. Ted Sarandos is the guy who is the CEO of Netflix. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Ted Leontis is not quite as wealthy. So you think you win Friday night and your birthday night. You're not worried about this being the worst week in Washington history with the Tuesday night massacre, followed by the Wednesday night massacre, and then finally the Friday night massacre, a triple massacre?

Yeah, no, it's flagged Wednesday. But, you know, again, so it's just another Wednesday night. Oh, the penguins beat the caps in the high playoffs? What? What year is this? I mean, I don't care. What are you going to do? First of all, you totally care.

And that came back and beat the O's. Yes. And that's one. God damn it. First of all, you totally care. You totally care about the Caps. The Wives are better than the Celtics. I'm not saying that they're going to win this series, but they're a better team.

They have more talent than the Seltz. Well, that's certainly going to determine wins and losses. The Caps, I know you care, and I know it hurts, and I know you thought this was the year. and you could sell how you want now, but until you were down 1-0,0 you thought you're going to win. When it was 1-0,0 you knew you're going to lose. I thought we were going to win last year. I thought last year was the year. I thought Holpey was better last year, and I had a lot more at stake.

I had allocated real capital on the capitol at the beginning of last season, not this season. The only bet I made on the caps this season was to win the Metropolitan Division title. and God bless them they did that and I think it was only like two to one or three to one odd. It wasn't great odds, two to one. So you're down to me. But last year I had them winning the Eastern Conference. I had them in the Stanley Cup.

I expectations for the caps. They let me down. So this year it was just, you know, we'll see what happened. All right, your guard was up. Do they have to trade a Vetchkin now or no? No. No, they've never traded no Vetchum. Absolutely not.

Good. Yeah, keep that going. They sell out every game. It's like everybody builds in, oh, it's bid bay. I can go make my tea times. The caps are done. Time to go make some tea times.

They sell out every game is the equivalent of people in the leftovers bragging about how well the real estate is doing in that city. I don't even watch that show, and it's a good joke. All the houses and apartments are filled. It's going great. Tate, how long are we? We're at 50 minutes. Oh, Jesus.

We're at 50 minutes. That was 30 minutes longer than we thought we were going to go. Joe House. As usual. I don't wish you luck this weekend, but it was fun to talk to you. Oh, I understand. We're going to win? Plug Shackhouse really quick.

Yeah, it's the player's championship kicks off tomorrow. Jeff Shackleford and I had two great guests on this week. You can still get our picks if you listen to this early enough in the morning. That's probably too late. We could get our picks and, you know, and make fun of us for how bad we did. We had a boy from NBC Sports, Travis Fulton from the Golf Channel, as an interview guest. And I talked about allocating a little capital to a few guys in the players' champions down at Potter viz. Good to hear.

And you got a weasley your way in the Sal's new podcast at some point. Apparently he's going to talk gambling every week. We didn't expect that. I thought when we had Sal's, I thought he was going to do theater one week and, you know, professional wrestling and sitcoms. But apparently it's going to be gambling every week. So on against all odds. Did you like the title, by the way? Good title against all odds.

It's a fantastic title. I tried to sing it last time that we were together. Oh, yeah, that's right. I asked you. Yeah, yeah. He's tried to sing it and it went terribly. Joe House, thanks for manning up and coming on the ringer NBA show. Appreciate it.

Check out Shackhouse. Check out Larry Wilmore's new podcast. Check out Cousin Sal's new podcast. And check out the BS podcast because we had Adam Carolla on this week. we talked about four things Cobra Castaway Fast 7 and fast 8

It was literally the only four things of the agenda banged through them If you haven't heard it Check it out Great to have Corolla He was in rare form Tate was laughing

Tate which ones did you laugh more During Rappaport or Corolla I think I laughed more than Rappaport I think you did too Rappaport just hit your funny bone Yeah just for that time Yeah It didn't help that Kuro

Was talking about movies you'd never heard of Yeah He'd never seen Cobra and he might not even see castaway anyway joe house uh enjoy the rest of the night we'll talk to you next week