The Sabrina Zohar Show - 38: TECH GUY EPISODE! Our relationship formation and debunking the modern dating experience with Tech guy!

Episode Date: October 6, 2023

On this weeks episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, Sabrina is joined by her partner Tech Guy to chat about their relationship journey as well as debunk modern dating taboos. Want to shop Softwear? Get 20% off your first order with code- DOTHEWORK Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course HERE! Get Ad-free episodes and 2 Bonus episodes a month HERE! Dont forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on instagram and Sabrina on Tik tok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!  Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, hello, hello. And welcome to another episode of Do the Work Podcast. My name is Sabrina and I am your host. Guys, today's, this is it. Today is the day. Today for anybody who has followed along from day one of Tech Guy, he's finally on the podcast. Guys, I had to beg, plead, scream, no, I didn't. I just, he made a bet.

He said he would be on the podcast if I hit 250,000 followers on the Instagram. And we fucking did it. And here he is. And I took a lot of the questions that you guys. had asked. So, you know, thank you for that. And it's a lot of his, his understanding, what his thought process was so that you guys can actually hear his side of things as well and not just mine. And I wanted to do this because we're moving in together. So this is a big thing. We just got our first home. We were renting a house. And it's been fun. We've been using this

amazing app called Welcome Homes. And it's really fun because we've been able to like decorate our home and kind of sit and pretend as if like we were going to buy a house and what kind of furniture would we want, what kind of look would we want? And so it's been really fun to just see like our compatibility and our design aesthetic and especially with this big move that we're making to just make sure that like we're both on the same page. So it's been awesome. And I'm so excited. Thank you guys to everybody. Thank you guys so much for your support and your continued support and the love and welcoming tech guy into our community. Like it literally means the world. And so I'm so grateful. And as always, guys, please don't forget leave a five-star review if you think it's worth it

on the podcast. The reviews help me more than anything. Spotify is now putting reviews. higher than they are even plays. And so if we want to continue to do this podcast for free and offer this for you, I got to keep climbing the ranks. And also don't forget to show love to our sponsors because without them, the podcast truly would not be able to continue going around. So guys, as always, everything you need is going to be in the show notes. If you want to work with me, you want to ask any questions, you want to do a tech guy dating up audit. Everything's going to be in the link in show notes. So don't forget. And don't forget for anyone who's listening, Obviously, by the time it's January that people are listening to this, the dating app will be ready.

But TechI. and I are working on a dating app. And the survey is going to be in the show notes. We need your help. We need your help. It's going to mix dating AI. We have a custom algorithm that's being created mixed with personal development and coaching. It will be a free app. The coaching will be an add-on.

But for anybody who has any concerns, please go check it out. The link in my bio. It's a two-minute survey. You'll get a longer survey in a couple of weeks. But we need your help because this is how we're going to create custom algorithms for you. so that we can stop giving you the bullshit that you've been getting on every other app and actually help you date and be a healthier dater. So, okay, I'll shut the fuck up now. It's time to get to one of my favorite episodes with my love. And guys, again, as always, thank you for everything. I love you guys

so, so, so much. And without further ado, let's get right on into it. Hi, babe. Hi. I can't believe that we're finally at the day where you're sitting across from me while we record a podcast episode. I can't believe that I made a promise to you that I would be on the podcast when you hit 250K, not thinking that I would have to show up one day. I know, isn't it fun when your actions have a reaction? And, oh, no, the decision I made has consequences. Yep, happy to support you. Although I do not have any desire to do this.

I know. And I appreciate that, babe. And for everyone else, welcome to a relationship. This is really the realities doing a lot of things you don't necessarily want to do because you know what makes the other person happy. Yeah. So I am appreciative of it. Thanks, babe.

I love you. Love, love you. Yay. Okay, well, we got a ton of questions in for people that ask, I mean, every single day people are asking questions about us. And I'm really excited to kind of go over with the two of us, our relationship, because a lot of people on social and a lot of people on TikTok and a lot of people in the podcast always consistently hear my side of things of like my experiences and me telling you things and thinking I'm fucking insane for being honest with you about so many aspects that I'm excited for us to like hear your side of things and how you feel about things and how my anxiety. idea is, you know, this actually might help me. This might give me some self-awareness of like how, really how much I fucking annoy you. Yeah. So I'm excited by. I would like to start off to let people know, like, we met on a dating app. Yeah. We met on Hinge. And for me, at least, where I was in the world, I was just, my dog had just passed away a month prior, who was my fucking ride or die and my end-all be-all. I had literally broken up with a dude three days before I met you. And it wasn't

like a thing. It wasn't like a major relationship. And I had. just decided for me, I was going to use hinge passively because the type of person I am as a projector for my human design. I know. I know you hate this. But for me, it worked out better for me to have people pursue me. So like I didn't want to have to message people and do all that. And you messaged me a beautiful little paragraph. And I'll never forget looking at your profile, just thinking like, oh, okay, he's not my typical type. He's not normally the guy I go for and vice versa, as I learned. But it was just really, it was interesting, I think, for us to meet on the apps,

especially because of like the line of work that I do now. And so having all this kind of behind the scenes knowledge. Right. But I would be curious. Something that people had asked was, what is one thing that you see that people need to change or understand when it comes to dating apps? And I know that you and I do the dating app audits and we're constantly seeing profiles and helping people.

So I'd love your thoughts on and feedback on that. People have no idea what a prompt is actually for. It's to prompt a conversation. And you. correctly, it can actually lead to intentional conversation and you can actually direct the way in which people are going to reach out. But so many times people use just surface level bullshit. That's my three favorite emojis or things like that that don't actually mean anything and have absolutely no conversation fodder. You want to make sure that you are being intentional with the

way in which you are putting yourself out there. It's basically a resume. And you want to want to make sure that you're putting your best foot forward and giving people the opportunity to reach out in a way in which is going to resonate with you. So the more information that you can add to your profile and be really clear about what you're looking for or even use the ask a question functionality on Hinge or other platforms to really have that curated experience where you can ask someone a very specific question that will allow you to judge match capability in a very short amount a time and see if it's worthwhile for you. Being more prudent with your time and the way in which you're approaching apps can

have better outcomes. No, which makes sense. I mean, I think back on, I mean, obviously we haven't been on apps. This entire 2023 has been a year of. High five. Clemsing, which is great. But I think back on even when I, like, how many times I would see it like a dude on an app or something and I would see there, like, I would look and be like, wow, he's

really hot. But then there was nothing on the profile. And I would get enamored by this, like, the mysterious aspect of him and the mystery about him, before I stopped to realize, wait a minute, I'm creating who I want this person to be. They've given me no information. It's like pulling teeth. Right. You old message like, hey, how's it going? Hey.

Right. Cool. You know, and it's like, wait a minute. You like this guy because he's hot. And it's okay to admit that. But I think so many people are like, they struggle to figure out what to say and how to start conversations. And it's like, well, if you can't find anything on this person's profile to start a conversation with them, I would start to a conversation with them. I would start to assess then what are your intentions?

What is your reasoning for wanting to start a conversation with this person? That might give you a little inclination of like where you kind of stand. Yeah. It's incumbent on people to be better buyers on dating apps, but it's also incumbent upon you to be a better seller. Like you've got to craft your profile in a way in which it's going to match the intentionality that you are ultimately entering the space with. 100%.

I think I remember my profile. I don't remember verbatim because it's been a minute. But I had three separate subcategories of like one that. was more depth where it was like I'm growth-minded and driven by, you know, personal development, blah, blah, blah, blah. That was very clear of like, my mind works differently than probably the average person, especially in L.A. Then there was something that was cute and quirky, like a great sign of a great first date.

It actually happens, you know, do from New York, go easy on me. And that's actually what you had commented on. And then I have another one of like, let's say, make sure we're on the same page about, like getting, you know, having, getting dinner to get, like eating dinner just to get to dessert and always having snacks, like, what's your snack, you know, something. I did not choose that one. No, you didn't because that's not your thing. No, I'm not a sweet person.

No, but you can see why I did it because it's so important to me that I can't tell you how many guys it worked on to my favor that would use that to be like, hey, you know what, let's go out to this place. There's a great dessert spot. Let me take you out there. It allowed them to have the opportunity to say, okay, this is something I can actually do that she's going to enjoy without having to be in like a dark room trying to figure out which way the light switch on. Right. Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette

with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk. Habaniero, more like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. I was curious, what were things? Somebody had asked, what were things that you swiped on? Like, what was something that you looked for prior to moi? I mean, there are plenty of things, but the way in which someone was presenting themselves

and also the discrepancy between that presentation and actually, after you've matched the type of conversation that they're having, the intentionality of their prompts, are they being vulnerable and willing to put themselves out there on an app specifically designed to do that? Are they just being surface level? Photos, I want to make sure that I'm actually attracted to the person. And then just the initial conversation. But that initial conversation was usually just me moving to the date and seeing if there's a match in person.

It's really difficult for me to gauge the match capability over text. I mean, there's certain things that you pick up that disqualified people. But for me, I can't really judge that over text. I can really only understand if there's. any type of connection in person. Well, what were, did you notice? Like, were there any red flags that you were glaringly seeing? Like, I mean, at least for me on the male side, it was like, I, the red flag I always

avoided were like the self-deprecation, like, biggest risk I've taken downloading this app and you're like, that's the, or like moving to a new city. Right. That's your biggest fucking risk. Or let's not, you know, things I want to like hide. Like, I don't want anyone to know I'm on this app. It's like, all right, so you're already embarrassed off the bat. Right.

What were your female versions of the red flags that you would see? The inability to make a plan. And maybe that's specific. for me. I am a very big planner. Everything in my life is planned. I plan my spontaneity. And so someone, especially in San Diego, I noticed this much more. I was in San Francisco for a decade. It wasn't the same type of experience. But in San Diego, there was a reticence to actually make a plan. People wanted go with the flow. And I am not the go with the flow type of person. I don't like going with any flow, to be honest. I want to make a plan and then meet and see if it's

worthwhile for us to continue. And what I saw continually was just the inability to make a plan. And that was a giant red flag. I have actually told many people that, you know, we could just not do this if I, if you're not interested in making a concrete time happen. So I'm glad that you are saying this because I think so many people hear me talk about like, you know, listen, if you want something, like, if that's a need of yours, like, I'm the same. I have to have plans. I love knowing my calendar. More so also because one, I'm anxious. Hello. And two, because I have so many things that, you know, my days are fucking crazy. I'm like, you can't just spring on me. Like, I love my sister, but that's my sister. Everything is very like, what are you guys doing in like an hour? I'm like,

Jane, I can't, like, I can't just drop everything and go do something. So I'm a big proponent of like, if this is a non-negotiable for you, it's okay to hold on that non-negotiable because there are going to be plenty of guys and girls that are not going to want to make plans that are going to do the, you know, I get a DM every single day of like, this guy only asked me to come over when it's convenient for him. And it's like, yeah, those are people that are not being intentional with their time necessarily, because if you are, then like you're going to, at the very least, when you see someone trying to make a plan, you're going to make a plan with them or articulate, hey, I'm not a big planner, but it seems like you are. Let's compromise. But that's always been a huge point

of contention for me. Like, if it's difficult to get someone off an app and into real life, then I'm struggling to understand what you really think is going to come after that. I've always had a very clear understanding of time. One of my first questions that I could articulate as a child was, what time was it? My mom's like, you're three years old. Why do you need to know what time it is? But I've always had a real understanding of time. When you waste someone's time, you're wasting a part of their life. And I was really intentional with my time management. I had an intentionality about, you know, finding a right partner and devoting time, energy, and attention to doing that. but I wasn't willing to put up with low effort bullshit

and not show up when you're making a plan. I don't think, I think to this day, you and I have never canceled. We've never, you've rescheduled once on me. Like we've never canceled a plan of like, we're going to hang out. I never got a text that from you saying like, sorry, not going to make it.

It was always like, if there was anything, it was, hey, I'm so sorry, this came up. Are you available here? Yeah. But that to me is like, I think when people ask for consistency. My number one thing is consistency. And it's like consistency and reciprocity living in New York and dating in New York and having,

I can't count on my hand how many times like, I don't know if you've experienced this and with a women's side where like I would have an amazing time with this person. Like you really think you're connected. Holy shit. And then the next day it's like a different person. You wake up and you're like, what happened to last? What happened to the guy that I was sharing all these incredible vulnerable moments with? And so for me, consistency is number one.

And I think people often ask like, what does that look like? And it's like this, like somebody who makes a plan and sticks to the plan, someone who confirms the plan, somebody who follows up on the plan, someone who plans the plan, who shows up, who's communicative. Like, when we first met, spoiler alert for everybody, we fucked on the first date. Yes, we did. Yes, we did. And because when we went on our first date, realistically speaking, and nothing I say on the podcast have I not said to you. You know everything I say. He was not my type, typically.

I don't go for guys like you. You don't go for girls like me. This is a mutual thing. This isn't just a one-sided thing. I did show up in really tight. You showed up in really tight clothes. And I was just like, yikes, what is happening here? And it was just me.

And like, I hated your car. You know I hate your car. I just hate the color of it. And I was just in my head, I was like, no, no. Because that was me having preconceived notions of like, I already know what I want and did-da-da. But then I remember going through the date just feeling like, wow, but he listens to me. He had to.

I didn't shut the fuck up. Confirmed. Yep. And but let's talk even on our first date. Like, I'm actually curious because I think there's a lot of debunking that can happen. Our first date is very atypical. And I think most people's first date. Yeah.

We, when we've went on our first date, babe, what were some of the questions I asked you on the first date? Uh, how long was your last relationship and what did you do learn from that? Mm-hmm. What are you looking for? Mm-hmm. We talked about religion, politics, even abortion, like all the things that you're not supposed to talk about. We talked about on the first date. Yeah, to make sure that we were in alignment.

Now, can I ask you, what did you think about the questions that I asked? I thought they were interesting. Like, I knew even before I went on a date with you, you were already different than the type of women that I was meeting in San Diego. But, you know, that just really confirmed it. And there was an intrigue and an interest that was there. There was never really space for me to truly open up because you like to fill space. Well, but let's be honest here. Why?

Let's be honest here. You are now talking like a normal fucking conversation with me. but when you and I first met, you are, listen, avoidant, you were very closed off when we first met. You just take a while to respond. Right. I'm running through three layers of filters. And I'm not.

The things I first think versus even the things that come out of my mouth, which are already horrible. There's a big gulf between those. And so, you know, I want to make sure that I'm presenting myself well. But you have to imagine on my side. I didn't know that. So I'm going on this date being like, this guy's just walking.

first off, we have the dog, and you're telling me how incredibly well-behaved your dog is. He's so well-trained. All this. And we were very sweet. You even asked me before we met, is it okay to bring the dog? Because you knew Clement passed away recently. That was also another reason I didn't like cancel or not come because that whole week I was so in my head of like, why are you wasting your time?

Why are you going to go out with these people? Like, come on. But I was like, no, this guy, he's really fucking thoughtful and caring. But like, off the bat, the minute we get to the hike, Kobe runs off. And all of a sudden, you're chasing after him for 20 minutes. And I'm standing in a fucking hike just with your bag. being like, what am I doing here? Who is this guy? And then you come back and you were just more rigid. Like that was just kind of your personality type. You were a lot. You were very like,

I am rigid. You are rigid. You're very analytical. You're very logical. And I'm more like, flighty and levity. Like I add a little bit of levity to life. Yes, I do. So. Yeah. So it all due fairness when we first met, yeah, I didn't, I wasn't understanding. But I still ask those questions. And what I, for me, I, the biggest notice I had wasn't the fact that I was like, oh, he's more quiet. I was like, I don't really care about that. I'm like, he answers them. He's not avoiding my questions. He goes head on. That was really sexy to me. Then I'll never forget. We went in the car and you said, you know, so I've had a nice time. I can either, you know, we can part ways here or if you want, let's go back. We could drop the dog off, get changed and go to dinner. That was that split

moment decision where I was either going to say, to say, no, I'm not feeling it. And I was like, I don't know. Let me give him a chance. And then I did because you know what happened an hour later. You climbed on my bed and basically gave me a signal. I did. I did. And it wasn't until you kissed me that I felt something because at first, I remember when you changed thinking, oh, he's really cute, actually. Like, he's gotten out of the tight clothes, a little military buzz cut. I was like, okay, he's actually adorable. And his dog is great, and his house is beautiful. I was like, okay, this guy has pieces, like components of him that are really lovely. And then when you kissed me, I was like, oh. And then when we hooked up,

I was like, oh, because this was phenomenal and always has been. But I'd like to know your thoughts on that, the taboo of, oh, women shouldn't hook up on the first date. Intimacy is an incredibly important facet of a relationship. And to deny that is to deny a part of yourself. And for me, it's just an important data point in the, you know, relationship formation process, making sure there's alignment there. And, you know, we just happened to validate that earlier than a lot of people. But all that did was just make me more interested.

I had already learned quite a bit about you and was intrigued. And then that was just the icing on the cake. I knew that I wanted to continue to learn about you and see where we progress this. Which is a big thing for me. I'm like, I'm so tired of this antiquated thinking that you have to make somebody wait or that you have to do all this. It's like, or there's a specific time box theory. The box theory. Yeah.

Do you know the box theory? You've mentioned it a couple times. So the box theory is this influencer kind of came up with it that within the first five minutes of meeting you, it's like immediate that a man knows if he wants to fuck. you sleep be with you like in a relationship or never see you again that is assinite i knew that i wanted to have sex you're a very good looking person and even more so in person than your very good looking photos but to say that i knew that i wanted a relationship with you i knew i was intrigued uh and would be interested in to continue to get to know you but i had no idea whether i wanted a relationship with you i didn't know i wanted a relationship with you after five dates to assume that after five minutes

I knew that is just ridiculous. I think it's what it does to me. I feel like it just it gives off. It's just a lame, low effort way of gauging. Like understanding human. It's good bait. Yeah. Gameifying the wrong outcomes.

100%. Just like, you know, dating apps gamify the wrong outcome. Which is why we're creating a different dating app that's going to actually be different. Correct. And that's actually interesting. We always tell people are like, don't work together. We dated first, then we started working together. Very big different than meeting in the workforce and having to involve HR when something

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Visit vw.ca to learn more. SUV, German engineered for all. working together has been awesome. Yes, it has. And it's been because we both have, I have what, I was started dating apps when I was 18, so I have 15 years of understanding why I hate dating apps and all the issues with them. I get to work with people every day and you have the male perspective of it. So it's been so incredible to be able to offer things to the app to say, well, no. And just so you guys know, the link in my bio, we need you to answer the survey if you could. Yes, please. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. But we wanted to do something that brings personal development

mixed with dating apps, and that's because our journey honestly really shaped this. And actually somebody asked, which I thought was a really interesting question, like, what was your, what is your thoughts on my line of work? Mr. Tech guy. Yeah. I mean, it's not something that I had ever sought out. I wasn't looking for an influencer, thankfully. I don't even consider myself an influencer.

That does feel like it's icky. You know what I mean? No, you have much more depth and bring a lot more than a, traditional influencer, but you still do hold influence and have an audience and like engage with people on TikTok live, something I would never fathom to do. But here we are. But I was very intrigued by your entrepreneurial spirit. And it's been interesting and amazing to have a co-pilot chair to watch your growth and just see you become an incredible podcaster and climb the charts and really start to have the type of success that, you know, was warranted.

It's named do the work for a very specific reason. And it's because you've done the work and you do actual work to make a high quality product that a lot of people are just creating low effort, clickbait bullshit. Thanks, babe. I appreciate it. Thank you also for everyone who left a five-star review. I'm just plug it. I'm plugging.

Here we are. Thank you, though. Seriously, it helps me a lot. Which actually leads me to my next question that I was going to ask you is really like your journey. We've talked all about mine. Like you've met almost everyone in my family besides my dad. Yeah.

Yeah, right? Well, immediate family. Like, you've met all the important people in my life. You've met all my friends. You haven't met my dad. But you know my journey of my anxieties and things like that. But what was kind of, you know, share as much as you want. But like, I could see when you and I met, I could see your avoidance.

I could see very much the like, like I met that story. I always laugh at a tell of like at 12 o'clock on the dot at 24 hours, I had to leave. Like he wanted his alone time. He would get overwhelmed. It was like, even with the texting in the beginning. when I had said to you that I needed more communication, you set that boundary like off the fucking gate, like, not going to happen, babe.

Sorry, it's not a sign of my disinterest. I'm just not going to be texting you that much, which we will get to more later. But I'd love to know, like, kind of your journey with relationships and feeling that avoidance. Like, I know you have dated women that are anxious as well, but like, just for you, like, what did that look like

and how did you start to realize like, fuck? You know, I think this might actually be impacting my relationships because a lot of avoidance just don't see that. I started to just see consistent patterns. And, you know, I do better in a relationship. And I know that I wanted someone to not complete my life. That sounds like I was missing something, but more so to add to my life. And so I realized that I had to make a change.

I'm very process-oriented. So I did a process. I basically used the software design model and implemented retrospective. So after every first date, I would say what worked, what didn't work. and then also align that to whether a second date happened with that person and actually be able to start cracking behaviors over time so that I could become more aware of blind spots in myself and work on that. And so when I saw consistent themes, I would go read books. That's how I learn. And so I just basically created my own learning path based off of my experience. But to be able to do that, I had to get really tactical.

What was your biggest struggle with our relationship? What was the hardest compromise, I think, for you to make, or what, you tell me, like, what would have been the hardest compromise for you to make dating somebody who has, I don't, I'm not anxious in our relationship, as we've established, more just in life. Like, I don't have the anxious attachment where, like, I wasn't hyper-focused on you. I wasn't always constantly asking you a thousand times if you're okay. Like, when we hooked up on our first date, realistically, I left. That's why the tech guy series started.

I thought I was never going to see you again. Right. I thought in the morning, fuck it. I see all these girls on TikTok making videos. about their dating experiences. Let me talk about this really positive one that I had, where this guy was great and we had a nice time. Because when I left thinking, I didn't think you owed me anything. I didn't think that you had to contact me. Every time you did, I would just- You didn't live here. Right, exactly. Every time I'd see him, I just, I would leave going, well,

that was nice. Well, hopefully I see him again. And if not, that's okay, because I had also learned from Clem, you can't attach to people. But I am curious to know what your biggest struggle has been as far as your growth maybe. Like, what's the biggest area of growth you've had in our relationship that if you can pinpoint a place that coming from like that avoidance space that maybe you haven't experienced in past relationships. Yeah, the freedom and the security to have vulnerable conversations. Like you have created a space for me to be able to open up through vulnerability and open communication that I haven't had in previous relationships.

And so part of that is also fostered by you. Thanks, babe. Well, I mean, I think that's also my biggest thing is like, if you want someone that's going to open up to you and feel safe. to open up. And so vice versa, it's like, you've got to create a safe space. And it's like, when we communicate, I don't think we've ever, we've never yelled at each other. We've never raised our voice. We've never called each other like an inappropriate name. I might call you a dick or an asshole to your face. God damn, right? I do. Exactly. But like, I've never been like,

you fucking ass. Like, we've just never gotten to that level because I have learned one, that's, first of all, you're never going to get more bees with vinegar than you will, honey. And it's like, I come to you and will always say, hey, I need to, you know, can I share something with you? And like, always make sure that it's a safe space. You have always created a space for saying, yes, absolutely, let's talk. And I think what a lot of people, somebody asked me the other day, have you guys always just flowed? And I'm like, no. No. There have been how many, when we first started dating, how many times did I have face times with you being like, this doesn't work for me? I don't think this is cool. Even up to like the party thing with my brother and like making the plan

without consulting me. And like, anytime that happens, I will literally just stop and be like, okay, I'm going to share with you how this landed on me. And I want to get curious as well. And like, I'll always ask questions. Like, did you mean that? Is that what you intended to say? Right. Because I'm not accusing you. No.

But you're also very clearly articulating what's not working for you. And I also have no problem with feedback. I don't hold anything as sacrosanct. I don't hold any belief to the end degree. I can change anything with new data. And like if you illuminate something that is a blind spot of me, I'm happy for that. It's an opportunity for it. And so part of that is mindset and the way in which you approach any type of friction.

I mean, I was going to ask you, when you, like in your past experiences, you've dated women that have anxiety? Oh, yes. And what do you, like, what does that experience been like when you date people with, like, like I said, I feel like I'm significantly more secure than I used to. I mean, you heard the other night at dinner, my brother-in-law even said, like, Sab, I don't even recognize you. Like, I never would have thought that you would have been able to do this kind of work.

comparatively to the girl that I used to be. Right. But I am curious, your experiences in the dating pool with anxious attaches, like, how, like, what is that, what does that look like to receive? It's a lot. Yeah. It's like a tidal wave of emotions and needs.

And as a very logical and process driven person, it can be, it's very unfamiliar. I don't feel those emotions. and I don't have a reference point. I try and be understanding and supportive, but I really don't understand where that comes from. And so for past relationships, you know, it had been all-consuming and it has ended a few relationships,

but it's also a learning opportunity in those situations where you realize that you don't want someone who needs you to be there in terms, emotional anchor. You need someone who has the capability to show up as a fully formed individual and has the capability to talk through the hardest things. Because part of anxiety as well is shutting down when emotions get too hard to handle. And so someone that can fight through the biological impulses that happen when those arise and still be able to be. And even when you have had issues, you've always been able to communicate. And so anxiety was never really a

friction point for us. No, I agree. And I think, because it's an interesting point. By the way, he studied psychology. So like he actually, this was something that you did study in school and like see human behavior. Like you understand how people work. So it's not like you're pulling this out of your ass. But one thing that you said that was a really important thing to say is like that yes, avoidance or anxious people are avoided. They avoidance. That's why when you shut down, when you get triggered and the nervous system feels dysregulated, that's the avoidance is looking inward. The avoidance is trying to figure out what is coming up for me,

what's happening for me, where is it stemming from? And that's why it's constantly seeking the validation, asking the other person for it. And that tidal wave of needs and desires and wants that feels endless is because you're drowning in a sea when you're not the paddle. Right. The person that you're begging for to get that attention and admiration isn't the person that can give it to you.

Only you can do that for yourself. So I can imagine how, like, you with when it comes to somebody with that severe anxious attachment, it's the same thing like the video I did that when viral that people will fucking lost their marbles on about like if somebody says that they struggle to trust everybody, I don't trust people. Men ain't shit. Men are always trying to hurt me.

Fuck women. They're always, it's like that means you don't trust yourself. That is a red flag to me because that means you're not connected to yourself enough to be able to say, well, yes, these are past experiences, but I don't want to project that onto somebody else because if somebody can't trust, if somebody can't love like if I weren't able to trust you,

we would not have the relationship we have right now. Absolutely not. There's no way. Yeah. Physically. But I am curious. Somebody asked, does my anxiety turn you off? Because I do have anxiety.

And I will say, you handle it beautifully when I get anxious. Except that one time where I told you to calm down, which did not work out. No, but I didn't even then I didn't freak out. I just like very sternly told you after like, that's not going to work for me. Yeah. And the dagger looks. The dagger looks. You can't avoid the rest of bitch face.

I am nobody that's going to hide how I feel on my face. It's true. But for instance, even something like that. I said something. I was getting emotionally disregulated. He could see that I was getting up in arms. And he said, calm down. And I literally looked at him and I was like, oh, no. And then all I said after was, that's not going to work for me. And he said, okay, I can understand. You're right. That doesn't work. Scientifically. Who fuck calms down when you say it. You even ask, what would work? Would regulate? And I said, yeah, that sounds like a great idea. And now when that happened,

you say regulate. And I know, okay, we're kicking it up a notch. Yeah. Or like the other day, remember when I was really upset and it had nothing to do with you. I was just upset about something. and you could feel, I know that you could feel it when I was being quiet and you just hugged me. And that was all I needed. I just needed to be seen, heard and understood. And I love how often you'll ask me, like, do you feel seen heard and understood? Do you feel like I'm able to attune to your needs? Like, is there anything I can do?

And we have those conversations often, like very often. Yeah. Because otherwise, I can't read your mind and nor can you read mine. No, you got to check in. You have to check in. There's more to life than finding the perfect car. But finding the perfect car can help you get the most out of life. Like the SUV that handles everything from drop off to off road,

and the car that hulls groceries and hockey teams, or the van that's gone from just practical to practically family. Whatever you want, wherever you're going, start your search at autotrater.ca, Canada's car marketplace. But I do want to, somebody had asked in general, what are your turn on and turnoffs and why did you choose me? I'm attracted to strong independent women. Yeah, yes.

And so I very much like you are a business owner. You have created multiple things from nothing and turn them into really either cool clothing brands or podcasts with an audience. And I am attracted to interesting thought processes. And you definitely possess one of those physically attractive as well. I prefer lanky athletic girls. And then just general intelligence. You and I can converse on basically any subject. And you have at least a reference point.

And if I don't, I'll be like, hey, college dropout. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm pretty humble about it. Right. But I think that's the number one thing that I hope gets across to people is like, I think a lot of people hear me like when I had that video that went viral of like my seven non-negotiables and boundaries and people fucking rip me apart. You know me men, the misogynistic men were like, she'll be single forever. We're asking way too much.

And it's like, no, the thing was I knew in my gut that people like you existed. I knew that there were emotionally intelligent, aware, incredibly thoughtful and giving. and but masculine and manly like in his body, in his space, understanding who he is, understanding his worth, understanding who loving himself. Like, I knew people like you existed. And I knew that wanting that didn't mean that I wanted too much. It meant that I knew that a partner like me existed out there and that there was a you.

That just meant, though, I had to get very fucking comfortable walking away from people that weren't in alignment with you. And go on a lot of bullshit. A lot of bullshit dates. Lots of, God, when is this going to be over? and Jesus Christ, I can't wait. But the reality is, too, when we first started dating, there were no big sparks. There wasn't this crazy like, oh my God, I didn't go home saying I met him.

This is the one. I know. No, it wasn't. That's why I hate that if it's not a fuck yes, it's a no. I'm like, yeah, but it took me a while to be a fuck yes for you because it took you a while to open up to me. It took me a while to see the goofy, ridiculous man that I love so much because you, like you said, you had a filter.

You were constantly like under wraps making sure because you're the type of person that comes out over time. So I just want anybody out. there to like if they can take away anything, you deserve what it is that you want. And but you need to be very clear and okay to walk away if somebody doesn't possess that as opposed to fucking praying on a little star that this person's going to wake up one day and all of a sudden do all this crazy amount of work in order to become the version of who you want them to be.

It's okay to acknowledge and have two conflicting thoughts. I care about this person. They're amazing, but they're limited and they don't have what I want. Yeah. part of the way to attract the person that you want is to become the partner that they would want. And so make sure that you're doing the work and showing up as that person as well. Well, and this is back to my thing of the amount of people that freak out on the emotional available questions. This isn't a job interview.

Why are you asking these questions on a first date? Keep it like. What is this? It's like, oh, are you wasting your goddamn time? Why are you not being a better buyer out in the dating market? And on the contrary, motherfucker, I will challenge you. It is an interview, actually, because I'm high. for the most important position of my company, the CEO.

The CEO will either make sure we've hit the billion dollar goal or we're bankrupt in a year. You think I'm going to fucking give this away to somebody after one date because they said some niceties to me? Because they said I looked pretty and that I had nice hair. Oh, excuse me. But it's like, I just think it's like ask these questions, probe, get deeper. Here we are. We don't have things that were the people ask all the time.

What are you scared to ask? I'm like, I don't think there's anything I've ever been scared to ask you. It just hasn't. And it's like we've worked through issues and we've gone through it. And another myth buster I'd like to talk about is, you know, we talked about hooking up on the first date. No big deal. Have zero expectations. That's always my thing.

If you're going to hook up with a guy, you can't leave expecting that he owes you anything. Babe, what's your famous saying? No one. Oh, nobody. I was like, I have no idea. There's plenty. Nobody owes you anything. Can you go further into that on the ghosting thing, too, from a male perspective?

I mean, no one owes you. You're not entitled to someone's time, energy, or attention. And it's contrary to a lot of the messaging that is put out. by click bait yeah exactly just click bait uh dating coaches uh but to think that someone owes you something so early on is just absolutely ridiculous uh and you say go on to the ghosting thing well i was gonna say about we talked about ghosting all the time of like i want to know great date and that guy didn't contact me i'm like the bitch that ain't ghosting i'm sorry but it's like that person just didn't want to see you yeah thank you yeah and he didn't like what you're putting down and honestly

what i notice is the people that fucking rage and scream the top of the root like i do, I do. It's like, well, maybe this is why the person didn't. It's because they can sense that you might have harassed them with 30 text messages of, but you didn't give me a chance and but you didn't even get to know me and why didn't you, why are you ending it? But blah, blah, blah. It's like, nobody owes you anything. Yeah. Well, and not just that, people can sense that type of energy. And yeah, oh, absolutely. On a date, you could tell. So I know that you had anxiety on date one. I just, it's, uh, it's usually palpable. And so long as, as a person is attuned, like, it's pretty easy to tell.

I lost my trade with out. I don't know. It's okay. No worries. But we were just talking about, I don't even fucking know. Oh, you know what? Who knows? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Did not sleep at well. Brain is working at half capacity. But yeah, no, I think, but I agree with you. It's like, I think there's this entitlement that just because you have a date that all of a sudden somebody has to text you, has to this.

It's like, oh, you're right. You haven't dated major cities then if that's the case. Exactly. And maybe they saw something on that date that they realized this person is not going to handle rejection well. Like this is going to blow up. It might just be easier to walk away. Yeah. And I think the thing is, like, the reason I have talked about this is.

I'm not, hold on. I'm not giving any credence to that type of behavior. Like be a goddamn human and send the text. At least be open and transparent with someone else. But there are times in which that type of behavior is understandable. based on people's... Thank you for clarifying. I was going to say,

it's not that I'm condoning it. I'm not saying, hey, everybody, don't text someone after the first date. Fuck them. It's like, no, no, no, I'm not saying that. But what I am saying is,

you're not the victim. Right. You're not the victim just because somebody didn't answer or didn't text you or didn't respond. Nobody, I don't... Just because we had a great date and I leave saying,

yeah, we could do this again, and text me. You text me. I don't have to respond. No. I can move on with my life and I maybe have met someone else or want to pursue someone else.

But if that person, as the receiver, I'd go, hey, listen, I reached out, they didn't know. I wouldn't go, fuck this guy. What a piece of shit. He said he wanted to see me and he never did. It's like, I don't know, maybe he just wasn't picking up what I'm putting down. Yeah. I'm not going to take it personally.

I was going to say, even you can be hurt and upset about the decision, but still be amicable in your communication. Like, I've received multiple of those texts. I just wasn't feeling it. So I think, okay, I wish that would have ended different, but I wish you all the best, you know? no one knows you anything and especially after a few dates just move on. And but no, no, no, there's protests.

Like, no, you don't need to fucking call somebody 10 times. You don't need to text them. You don't need to demand. You don't need to have an attitude about it. Just quietly move on because what I think people forget is we are not given infinite amount of time on this planet. Right. It is very, I still. It's your only finite resource.

It's our only finite resource. And God, babe, when I think about the amount of people I wasted my time on instead of spending time with Klem, we all know that that is one of the, I might even get emotional. That is one of the things I still haven't processed through is that right before Clem passed away, right before he got sick, I went away for four days with somebody that wasted my time. And to this day, I still can't sit with myself because I knew that he was sick and I knew that he needed me, but I thought it was just something else and that I was prioritizing this person that had no right to be a priority in my life. And I missed out on literally four, extra days with my best friend.

And so I want anyone to understand, like, stop wasting time on bullshit people, because then it takes away, because if I had fought, tried to fight so hard for that guy, I would never have met you, and I wouldn't have made space for somebody like you, and I wouldn't have been the happiest I've ever been in my life,

because for the first time I feel safe with somebody, and I feel like I finally am seen hard and understood, and I finally understand what they mean that when you meet somebody that's right for you, you understand that all the wrong was wrong for a reason. I'm not giving any justification or trying to, like, to reframe that. But sometimes the loss makes the boundaries so much clear. Totally.

I, when my sister committed suicide, like, it really, it kind of reframed a lot of life. And like, you have to take a step back and reprioritize and take account of your own actions and like what is important for you. You've had this incredible loss. What are you going to do to create the life that you want? And sometimes that that type of loss allows new things to flourish and for you to become the person that you want to become. And I'm sorry that Clem is gone and I wish Sarah was here today, but you never know what you can actually learn from those experiences that will make you the person that you ultimately want to become. I like to think that they're together, that they're looking over, smiling, saying that they didn't get to meet, either one of us didn't get to meet

the opposite, but that they're really happy with what they see, because I am. I'm glad that thought brings you happiness. Yeah, well, I mean, it's better than the opposite, right? In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees earn an average of over $24.50 an hour. Employees also have the opportunity to grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields like software development and information technology. Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. But I mean, I think this kind of will lead me into kind of the last category that I think is a really important category for us to talk about, which is the texting and early stages of dating. We all know.

Listen, for people that don't know my stance on it, you just don't listen to me enough. We all know how I feel about the texting and dating. But you want to know who changed that for me? I did. You did. Because four fucking years. I'll never forget even for this one guy dated, like summertime before I met you.

It was probably like six months before I met you. Lovely human being. He was just like fucking talking about arrest of development. The dude was like 15 living in a 44 year old man's body. And I'll never forget. We had like a great, you know, like hooked up, had a great first like encounter. Kind of same thing of just like,

I guess I'll see him again. We saw each other the next night. And so to me when that first happened, And I was like, oh, okay, like this guy's into me. He's texting me, super consistent. I don't ever forget that night we were laying in bed. And he said, what's like a non-negotiable for you? And I said, I have to talk to someone every day that I'm dating.

And he just stops and goes, whoa, that's not going to work for me. And I was like, I don't need that. He was like, I don't need to talk to somebody every day. Like, if we have a great connection, like, I shouldn't have to touch base with you every single day in the beginning. And I remember telling him like, all right, well, then we need to figure this out. I was like, then we can't date. And he was like, okay, I'll try it.

And he tried. Bless his heart every day. I would get a random text from him, and I could see he was uncomfortable doing it, but he was trying. And he was right. It was never just one text because then I'd get the text and go, all right, well, this was pointless and it was kind of empty. Now what?

And so then I'll never forget, the guy that I dated before you, text me, good morning, good night, text me every day. We even had cute little nicknames for each other in our phone book. You wanted to see me all the time. Yeah, because in the fucking beginning before anything really happened, it was fantasy, it was fun, it was not real. Then when Clem got sick and when he started to like, When the shit hit the fan and you actually had to step up as a partner, as the person that, the check that you wrote, you now have to cash.

Guess who started to text less? Guess who started to pull away? That's when I realized, wait a minute, none of this makes any sense. And so when I met you, what, we hooked up that night. I didn't hear from you until like later the next day. And for me, an anxious brain, she was ruminating. I texted you at like noon. No, a little later than that.

You text me later when you were done with the day. You always text me when you were done with the day. And you said the same thing. Hey, hope you had a great day. blah, blah, blah. I've been staring at my screen for nine hours. I'm going to put my phone down. Just wanted to say hi.

Hope you have a great night. Correct. And all my response would be, thanks so much. Lovely to have heard from you. Have a good night. Because it was no conversation. But what was your thought process

on the early texting and dating feel stuff, babe? Was that an indication of your interest in me? Not at all. Thank you. Because at the exact same time, the texting that I did do with you was to set up a following date.

The important shit. and to prioritize the in-person experience. And so I was very consistent with that, not consistent with dating, but I also did set an expectation early on that, you know, I work in tech. I'm staring at a screen all day. The last thing that I want to do after getting off is spend another few hours just staring at a smaller screen that I'd rather go out and spend time with the dog and enjoy life. But that I also articulated that that was not a sign of my disinterest in you,

that I was very interested and I wanted to pursue something, but I wanted to pursue that together in person. And that was where, like, for me, my stink and thinking, as my mom says, but at my anxious brain and that rumination, when I wouldn't see his name, I instantly was like, see, he doesn't like me. He doesn't like me. He's not into me.

Because if he were into me, then he would be texting me every day. Because in my mind, being the antiquated thought process that I had, him clickbait people, was, well, if a guy's not showing me off the bat that he's texting me well, then what do we have to look forward to? And it's like, here's five texts that you can send to get his interest. God, if I see one more of those things or your face when Matthew Hussey did, instead of, if a guy you've been texting hasn't responded to your text, send him a voice note. Oh, my God.

I was like, I would block you. In what world is that acceptable advice to give to somebody? Oh, the guy you're texting isn't answering you, try something else. And it's like, what that does is it hits on people's delusions. It hits on the core wounds of I have to keep going. I have to earn it. I have to keep going. When it's like, at the end of the day, what I came to realize and what I've now

realize with the thousands of people that I work with every month that have work, and this has work, is, wait a minute, I was putting my attention that text equals they want a relationship with me. That's why I was constantly disappointed, creating a false sense of intimacy, creating a version of who I wanted this person to be based on some words on a screen, but then in person, you're kind of looking going, but where is this person? And it's like, I watch 90 day fiance, you are forced to watch 90 day fiance because I make you do it. But same with like love after lockup in our trash that we watch. Yes. People are so shocked. They'll have these, oh, my God, I'm in love with them and they're the best.

And then they get out or they meet this person. Rainica. Right. And all of a sudden, and all of a sudden it's like, then the whole time they're fighting for the relationship. Everything is fighting to have the relationship. And it's like, but you're fighting for the relationship. But it was never that.

Right. You never had that because the minute you guys met, there were issues or there was points of contention because it's never been aligned because I'd just stripped away all the the texting and all the bullshit and all the fluff from the beginning. What you would have actually seen is just with the person that's sitting in front of you where you could have gone, oh, I don't like this person because I didn't create a version of who they were. My nervous system doesn't think I'm only safe if I have them as opposed to, no, I get to know them for

who they are and then we just use texting to make plans in between. Well, and our nervous system is not built and handle modern communication. You know, having 140 character exchanges is not how you get to learn someone. And I think it's really important to prioritize the in-person experience and actually foster and create something real rather than relying on digital communication where there's no tonality. You're, you're intuiting specific tonality from people and then creating a version of them based off of the way in which you have felt what they have written. Right. And you're perceiving, oh, he said that, okay, well, then this is, and then you start

fantasizing and all this. And it's like. Or spiraling. And that's why I'm like, a couple of ground rules here. I don't believe in the talking stuff. I think that people say, how long should I be in that? I'm like, you shouldn't. We were in the talking stage for an hour. We talked for an hour on the app. You went right to, here's my number, or let me get your number. You planned to the date for that weekend or that a couple of days later. We had to reschedule because of my, I got sick. And then we had the date. And like, I remember I had texted just because plans had changed and we were just coordinating pickup time. Otherwise, there wasn't any long depth. I remember even you saying like, all right, let's meet.

Like, let me get to know you in person. And because it's like, I get this every day of like, but, you know, I want to feel more comfortable. It's like, then have a face time. Have a FaceTime, a quick vibe check, but get in person. Or the, you know, we had a great date and he hasn't texted me after. It's like, listen, let's go over some shit. All you can do after a great first date as a woman is say, hey, I had a really great time. I'd love to see you again. Or as a man, it's...

Same. But as a man, it's like more traditional for the guy to, um, to what's it called? To plan the date. To plan the next date. I was actually going to ask, what are your thoughts from your specific perspective of, which I did on our third date of a woman planning the date? Yeah. I, well, I've told you, I'm into strong, powerful, independent women.

And so I have no problem with you planning that. I like watching you take the reins and run with them. But at the same time, I have no problem planning the date myself. And I love planning. So that's not an issue. But I think it's empowering for both people to be willing participants in a relationship, especially early on and have reciprocity. and, you know, resentment can build

if you're paying for every day, you're planning everything and it doesn't feel like the person you're trying to court is showing up with the same intentionality. It should never be a non-reciprocal chase. Like, it's always a tennis match. I serve the ball, you serve it back.

I serve it, you serve it back. It's like, that's always how it's been. It's like when I, and I've never, I've always expressed my feelings. I've always told you, hey, I really like you. Or like, I've had been a really great time. This has been really fun. Like, you did the reveal with me

after like a month. You were like, yeah, do you want to be, Do you want to be exclusive? I want to delete my apps. Yeah. I'm not asking you to, but I want to delete mine. And I was like, okay. I was going to say, I came at that from an I statement.

I didn't expect you to do so, but I wanted to be very clear about where I was at. And, you know, I saw things moving in the right direction and I saw a potential future with you that I hadn't seen with someone in a long time. And yeah. And when you asked me to be a girlfriend and I said, no, what was my response? I don't know you well enough. I want to continue to get to know you. There's a very big difference between I'm not ready for a relationship. and I don't know you well enough to be in a relationship with you.

Right. Like if a guy tells me, if I tell a guy I like him after two months and he tells me I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, that's it. Yeah. K-O. Like, you're done. You're done.

But if you're telling somebody, like, I think kind of what I want people to take away from this is like, now you're hearing both sides of the coin. You're hearing both people say, no, texting is not an indication of someone's intentions with you because just like you showed me the other day that you can schedule a text for all the people out there that say, but he just text me, good morning. every day and they don't hear from him for the rest of the day. That's why. People schedule a text just to keep you on the loop, but they're not actually being intentional. Babe, in your thoughts, what does it mean to be an intentional dater? Having an awareness about yourself, about what you

are looking for and having the capability and vulnerability to share that with others. Yeah, and to be able to have boundaries that you stick to. Yeah. Because that's the biggest thing. Respecting yourself while at the same time respecting others. I just, I don't want to hear any more of this. like, I'm so tired of dating. All men are this and all women are that. It's like, listen, I was single for a long fucking time. I ate shit. With the amount of people that I dated, but you know what I did?

I took this as a moment to say, there's shit that's wrong with me. This is not everybody else. I need to work on myself. And fuck if I'm going to, I will compromise, but I will not settle on the things that I want that are non-negotiables like reciprocity and consistency and feeling seen hurt and understood. Could I compromise on some things? I didn't have to because you're six four.

So like, there were there. But like, did I date guys? that were 5'8, of course, because like, the looks are the first thing to go. That is going to be, eventually that becomes baseline, how hot that guy is or how beautiful that woman is, but it has nothing else to offer. Eventually, you get fucking bored with that. And the only reason you're so caught up on them is because they don't want you. That's why it's sexy. But if my mom has always said, I remember when you and I first started dating, when you were so consistent, she said, well, if he was treating you like, shit, would you like him more? And I was like,

yeah, probably. And she's like, all right, then shut your fucking mouth and keep dating him. Because Hallie was right. Thanks, Hallie. But Hellie was right. It's like, we can't focus on the low effort shit like texting, what it has to be is, how is this person showing up for you above that? Are they calling you? Are they facetiming you? Are they making plans? Are they sticking to plans? Are they asking questions of depth? Do they want you to introduce them to friends and family? Are they having conversations like the ones that we have about what are you looking for and things like that? If you're scared to ask that, then I need you to start looking at yourself and stop blaming everybody else. Amen. And on that note, babe, I think we're done.

Thank you, babe. We did it. We did it. We did it. Thank you. babe to everybody. And guys, thank you for being with our journey and supporting our journey. Everybody fucking loves you because you are amazing and I love you. And I'm just so grateful that you stupidly said yes that one night to be on the podcast because here we are, tech guy. Here we are. And I appreciate that. Other people's thoughts mean nothing to me, but yours do. They do. They do. Speaking of, if you could leave a five-star review. No, really, though. If you could leave a five-door review, that'd be awesome.

And just as a reminder, if you want to work with me in Tech Guy, we do the dating up audits where we go through your entire profile and tell you all the good, all the bad and all the things that you need help with help with you. You can work with me one-on-one, but please actually go answer the survey. Obviously, this will be out for life. So one day, the app will actually be out and we won't be asking you to do a survey. But for now, we need help with the survey. Yeah, we're tired of seeing the same consistent cycles in the market. And we both joined this company because we saw. a real differentiator here to create a product that is truly needed to give people the

capabilities to form an actual relationship based off of mutual interests and the things that are foundational to a relationship, not just looks and the low effort bullshit that a lot of these dating apps are gamifying the wrong outcomes for. Yeah, we want you to actually become a healthier dater and that's our goal because that's what I do. That's why I have the podcast. It's why I do stuff. That's why I don't do the clickbait shit

because I'm not trying to get you to just listen to something. I probably should actually get you to listen. But I'm not trying to like sell myself on something. I'm genuinely trying to offer things that actually fucking work because I can tell you this. If I look back at the Sabrina from five years ago, she wouldn't believe when I look back at when I was who I was with my ex, fucking piece of shit.

But when I think back on that, that girl crying on the floor when my ex told me, get the fuck over it. You're not the only one that's ever been in pain and left me to take myself to the ER for the hospital for a stomach issue that I, that I had versus the person that I have in front of me. I never in my life thought I would deserve this or I was worthy of it or that I ever could be in a relationship like this. And fuck, if I can't be

an example and you too for where you were to where you are now, if we can't be examples as to what you can achieve if you really focus and you really fucking prioritize and you call yourself on your shit and you do the fucking work, I don't know what else would be. Absolutely. I'm so proud of you for all the things that you're doing and for all of your success. It's so cool to watch. And I'm so excited to see where this goes. Thanks for being part of it, babe. Love you. And love you guys. Thank you so much. And for another episode and for another week and for a biggie. But without you guys, honestly, we wouldn't be here. So without further ado, we will, I will see you next week. And maybe one day you'll see Tech Guy again. See? We'll see about that.