The Sabrina Zohar Show - 98: Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, Doubts, And Fears With David Ghiyam

Episode Date: September 20, 2024

This week, Sabrina sits down with David Ghiyam to dive deep into the principles of Kabbalah and how it applies to personal growth and relationships. Both share personal insights, with Sabrina emphasizing that challenges are invitations to grow and expand her capacity to handle life’s difficulties. She reflects on how her own journey has pushed her to step into her power, even when it’s uncomfortable, and sees pain as a necessary part of becoming a vessel for greater things. David builds on this, explaining that Kabbalah helps people understand the root causes of pain and how it can serve as a path to transformation, rather than just reacting to it. They discuss how people often self-sabotage in relationships due to limiting beliefs, and how surrendering negativity and taking responsibility for one's own energy is key to attracting what you truly desire. Sabrina admits that fear and discomfort can sometimes hold her back, but recognizing and embracing those feelings has been essential in her growth. Together, they explore how self-awareness, making intentional choices, and seeing challenges as opportunities can shift life toward a more fulfilling, empowered reality. Struggling with a breakup? Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course from Sabrina and Britt Frank HERE! Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course HERE! Get Ad free and 2 Bonus episodes a month HERE! Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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My name is Sabrina Zohar, and I am your host. Happy Friday, Babes. I'm so happy. Honestly, I'm so happy that fall is here. I'm a summer girl. Don't get me wrong. I love warm weather. But I'm happy fall is here because it feels busier again, right?

Like summertime just is like slow and it, oh, my anxiety hates it. But now we're in fall and it's like, yes, let's get down to brass taxes. And what better way than with David? David is our guest this week. I am so excited. He is phenomenal. And this week we talk about how to overcome stress, anxiety, fear, and doubts. And I will preface. It's a bit more of a spiritual episode. And we talk about Kabbalah and just like the spiritual practice of it. But what I really loved was, as David was talking about things, I was able to base it back to psychology principles and explain more ways, especially if you are somebody who is more spiritual. This is not religious by any means. There is nothing. I mean, lesson, you guys do you. I support and love every single person's opinion. and what they believe in, but by no means is any of this, any kind of like religion or anything like that. It's really just a different way of seeing things and a different way of looking at things, right? So it's just another practice that we can kind of start to explore. So guys, I'm so excited. Thank you. Thank you, as always. I'm just stoked. We have had, the last solo was

so incredible. And I'm so excited because, guys, starting November 1st, I'm actually going to be doing every other episode's going to be a solo. So Mama's coming for you. And it is time because I think we need to get back to reconnecting. And I think it's really important for us to build the community and to get it back up, especially after the name and the summer and all that stuff. It's like, let's grow this baby back up. We're number 12 on the charts on education. We're trying to get back to number four where we were before. And so, guys, I need your help with that.

Please, all I ask is rate, review, if you haven't already, and share it with a friend. New listeners are super important. So, and if you already have, fucking thank you. Thank you for everything on YouTube, subscribe, follow, comment, all the fun shit. And just thank you guys. Thank you for showing up as you and allowing me to show up as me. Guys, as always, if you need anything, you know, everything's in the show notes. You want to join the course or subscription, all that fun shit.

We are here for you, and we are so excited. We, me, are so excited for all that's to come. So, guys, without further ado, let's get right on into it, shall we? Hey, David. Welcome to the Sabrina Zohar show. I'm so excited to have you. Thank you for having me. Of course.

Now, if you could, could you please let our audience now a little bit more about you, who you are, what makes you so fucking awesome. Because we have quite a conversation tonight, so I'm super excited. Well, I really appreciate that. The short of it is two major things that I've always done in my life. When I was 15 years old, I was introduced to the spiritual wisdom of Kabbalah, changed my life. And instead of kind of going down the route of the business world,

which I thought is what I was going to do, because when I was 15, it was actually professionally paying poker. And I was investing money at the time in the stock market and it was doing well. So my life was all about how I'm going to make money be successful and be powerful. I took a sharp turn, and when I was 19, I graduated at UCLA, and I decided to join nonprofit world. So I dedicated all my time just to teaching and supporting people through coaching and seminars all around the world, and doing it until today, 20 years later.

About, I would say 11 years ago, realized that I do need to get into the business world if I want to have a family and support myself and my family. So we started Mary Ruth and I, we started a brand called Mary Ruth Organics, which is a health and wellness brand known around the world. We specialize in liquid vitamins. And so we bootstrapped that and kind of taken it to where it is today. So these are the two things that I do. I do my charitable work to bring spirituality to the world. And then I have the business. And I try to merge these worlds because they are very synergistic.

And the reason that's why I love. Like the reason I wanted to have you on was because I know that it's not like woo for the sake of woo. Like you actually have something where you're like, no, no, no, there's a. practical, logical, businessman in there as well. That's like, no, no, no, there's a reason. There's a rhyme and a reason here. It's not just your soul's purpose is this.

And you're like, okay, where'd you get that from? 100%. But I would love to know just a little bit more as well. Like, for people that don't know, and like, let me just also preface. By no means for anyone listening, are we trying to prophetize? 100%.

Or change your mind or convince you to join anything. We're just giving different perspective shifts and something else that I think is really interesting. But I'd love to know a little bit more of like, how did you get into Kabbala? like what was your journey? And then how did that change your life and kind of that journey of like,

how can this be impactful to you? Sure, sure. And I will preface it by saying, you know, the majority of my audience, they come from every religious background, every spiritual background, atheists, Scientology. Like it doesn't matter.

People resonate with wisdom that is universal and brings them together. When I was 15, I was actually very anti-religion, anti-dogma. Anyone telling me what to do, I was against it. And so my uncle,

seeing that I was, a kid with a lot of desire and a lot of potential, but I could easily go down the wrong path, which I was going down the wrong path. He introduced me. He said, did spiritual wisdom, just go for it. I took one seminar, I changed my life, and the reason why was powerful was because I was challenging the instructor in the class on all the wise. Well, why is this true? Why is that true? Where does the soul come from? How do relationships work? How do you become successful? I received so many practical answers, and every question was answered that I just kept going deeper and deeper. Kabbalah is universal spiritual wisdom that explains the technology of

the soul. The same way that we have universal laws such as gravity explaining how this physical world works. And it doesn't matter if you believe in gravity or not, we all have to abide by this. There are universal spiritual laws around relationships, around human consciousness, around health and healing, around attracting abundance, around the soul's journey and understanding why do you have the parents you have, why do you have the siblings you have, why do you you attract this guy in college who dated you and you thought it was going to work, but then all of a sudden betrayed you, where does betrayal come from? A lot of our world talks about the effect, what to do when the pain happens. Kabbalah addresses, well, why did it even come on a soul level

to you? So that's where you really take full control over your life. I love that. Now, how is that implemented in real life? So like, let's me, right? Okay. Okay. So we'll throw this out there as if no one's heard this story. But like, okay, so I am riddled with fear. I have a name change. There are so many things going on. How long have you had this? Like when you say real with fear, is this been your whole life? Yes. And what kind of fear? What kind of fear specifically? I mean, the fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of, the one thing that I've noticed that I've, I've carried with me throughout my whole life is I'm going to lose this all. That fear of it's all going to go away at any point. So you're going to be on the street again and you're going to be

like needing and that seems like a negative, right? So I've always had this underbelly of fear that you're going to lose it all. Okay. So can we, can we, can we, can me hone in on that. And then we will use, it's funny on podcasts, I don't often do these workshops. In live seminars, I love it. Someone will say something and then in front of everybody will kind of workshop it, but I think this is a great way to bringing Kabbalistic wisdom. So, for example, this fear of abandonment, like when would you say is the first time this appeared or you were conscious of it? In my adult life now, I realized when I was in my crib. Like there was a very specific memory I can go back to it. So here's one thing about me. Even in the womb?

Not in the womb, not it. I can, I can address and understand because I know what my mother went through while I was in my room so I can put two and two. But it wasn't until recently where I started doing a lot of inner child work where I started to go back to these memories that I just unlocked for me. But that was it. There was like a fun joke growing around when I was a kid that Sabrina always threw up after every meal. And it was one something that everyone would kind of laugh. And I finally as an adult was like, mom, can you answer like, how was that not a red flag? Like what would happen? And she was like, your father would put you in the crib. You'd cry so hard. You'd throw up and he would leave and I would come in. And so as a child, I knew my father wasn't

going to be there. He wasn't object permanent. I didn't know if I could rely on him. And there was a fear. Why did he leave the room? Our emotions were too much for him. Narcissistic, emotionally unavailable. It was, oh, they're crying. You go be the wife. Take care of the kids. He didn't want to be part of it. He didn't want to have us. So to him, it was like, oh, God, I have to deal with these kids. Your needs are so much. The burden, that all. So that fear is very ingrained. But now as an adult, I think a lot of us are struggling between like, okay, so I consciously understand where all that comes from, but then how do you actually like handle it and deal with it? Like how can Kabbalah actually help in these ways? Right. I have some powerful secrets, but I have a few more questions. Please.

Okay. So then how do that manifest later on as a teen or in different romantic relationships? Not very well as you can imagine. Always dating men like my father. Always trying to get the unavailable to choose me. Always trying, trying, trying, which doesn't shock me that I would then become an entrepreneur where there's no consistency. You don't know when it's going to happen. You don't know you are your own destiny in essence. So it's funny that I, and fine. It's not shocking that I ended up going to that career because I can take control over my life and I don't have to wait for someone else.

You don't have to be dependent on somebody else. Exactly. And then that's how you also protect yourself from being abandoned. Yeah. But then the fear of name change, for instance, like for anyone listening, you can apply this to your life of a breakup, right?

An ending. Something that you thought was going to be consistent for you, something that you thought was going to be the thing, ends, it's not the thing. That's why it was so triggering for you because when you first told me you're doing this from a branding point of you, which I love, and I can geek out on that all day,

I thought it was one of those brilliant things you did. I mean, our brand is called Merritt's after the name of a person. And it's one of the reasons why it becomes iconic. Because like there's a photo of a woman and there's a name and nobody can duplicate that. It's like the Paul Newman salad dressing, right? You're going to always remember that. So when you said that you're doing this, I just thought it was the most brilliant move. And you just kept saying, well, I don't know, I don't know.

And that's because it's a transition for you. Yeah. That's the fear, the unknown. And so I think a lot of us, we struggle with that, right? Of like, but what's going to happen? Am I going to be okay? So you wait for the airplane to just fall from the sky because you're like, well, that's what I know. Right.

Very few people know that there's actually a destiny waiting for them that's always better when they surrender. So I'll talk about that then. And I'll also say, you know, as people are going to listen, I always like to engage the audience in a way that if you're talking about the fear of abandonment, it's probably because so many people listening, in fact, the majority, because this is the one thing that comes up in all of my seminars is we have this fear. And as a result, we react to it through our whole life. And as a result, we don't often choose the optimal destiny. We always get to where we need to get to, but it happens through pain and suffering. So, caballo explains. So fun.

Yes, yes. But at least we get there. So Kabbala explains, I'll start from the beginning. That's really only two forces in this world. There's this force of a positive, universal energy of goodness and sharing. Some people call it God. Some people call it the universe. Some people call it the creator.

Kabbala, the language we use is the light of the creator. It's keeping it very universal. And this positive force created the souls of humanity, which is the vessel to receive this light. And that's all there is. There is a force of sharing and a force of receiving called all the souls of humanity. We actually used to be one soul, but we came down to this physical world fragmented in order to play the game of life. This game essentially is we need to earn this energy. This energy manifests as our soulmate.

This energy manifests as all kinds of fulfillment, as abundance, as health and healing, as general wellness. pleasure you want in life originates from this energy. If you feel darkness, it's because you're disconnected from this energy. If you feel fulfillment, it's because you're connected to this energy. When you are plugged in to the light of the creator, all the fulfillment that is meant for your soul will come to you. The reason why we don't just have it for free and we're not born with our soulmate, because if you think about it, why doesn't a present just come to this world and clearly know who's meant for them? If my soul knows what's good for me, well, why don't I just have a six sense every time I meet a woman or a man that is not good for me,

imagine like they had a bad smell. I would right away know, oh, this person spiritually smells bad, so I'm not going to go on this date. Unfortunately, it's the opposite. That which is bad for us, we feel attracted to. And that which is good for us, we actually feel repulsed. I was, I was in Europe and I was sitting with a bunch of people who studied Kabbal and we're having spiritual conversation. It was about seven, eight women, and we're having lunch. And they all said, you know, how do we find our soulmate? How do we, sorry, I'm going to tangent. No, please, no, no, no, keep going. This is, this is the number one question, you know, from my people listening that you're like, oh yeah, when you're veering away, I'm like, rope them back in, right?

Exactly. I see all of you. Yes. How, true, how do you meet your fucking soulmate? So they're in their late 20s, maybe early 30s, and they're like, yeah, you know, it's so hard, it's so hard to date in New York. Everyone just sets us hard where they're, right? It's so hard to date in New York. Everyone just sets it hard where they're at. So I said, I listen to them a little bit. And these are all kind of like successful women, they're independent, very entrepreneurial. I said, you guys all like them the same way,

tall, dark, and unavailable. That's the funny thing because as soon as a man is healthy and available, it indicates a level of commitment rising to the occasion because you vibrationally have to be on that level of what's called soulmate. People rather kind of have the cellmate energy knowing that they have a little more freedom. They don't have to commit to this one,

person for the next 80 years of their life, they don't have to give up, there's all limited beliefs. The belief that I'll have to give up my career, I'll have to give up my body, my hormones will go out of whack. I was talking to a woman recently and she's so afraid to have a child because she's on antidepressants and well, what's going to happen? I've finally been balanced in my life. Do I go on it? Do I go off it? How do I breastfeed? These are all subconscious, sub, sub, subconscious fears and limited beliefs people have, which end up pushing away. And men can feel it. A man can feel. if you're really looking for commitment

or you're just looking for acknowledgement or approval or a good time. So you can say whatever you want to say externally to your friends. People say to me all the time, I want this, I want that. I always tell them, if you really wanted something and it's already been a year since you don't have it, it means that subconsciously

you have a competing desire you're not aware of. I'm not going to lie. It's a hot take that I agree with. Because I used to go around being like, I've been single for like five years and why can't I find anyone? It's like, it's not that I couldn't find somebody. I, the only reason I found my partner was because how I showed up. How I showed up was like, I'm very ready for what I say I'm ready and I'm showing you that with my action, my words, because I surrendered.

I had lost everything right before I met him, so I was like, what else do I have to lose? Might as well just be. So the fear was almost gone because you already lost. Exactly. So I can totally understand that. And that's what I've been really, like we try to work with everyone that's listening of trying to understand how to, it's not about shaming or blaming ourselves of like, oh, I'm too much and everyone can feel all this energy.

but it's like how can we take control so that we can show up in control and authentically. So I can build a real relationship with somebody and not be worried about you choosing me. It's not about, oh, yeah, yeah, they chose me now I'm good. It's like, but do I also choose you?

And I would love to know how that comes into. Here's the thing. If I was talking to you and you told me it's hard for in a manifest a relationship, but the first thing I'm going to realize just from your energy, but also I would ask you in other parts of your life and I'm also asking in the audience,

if you're a powerful manifester in another part of your life, it means you have this ability to manifest. So the fact that a relationship is not manifesting is because it is a choice of yours, not to manifest it. If you're able to be successful or charismatic or have great friend groups

or you're able to have like a health routine that you're so consistent and disciplined by, you push through that darkness, you push through the uncertainty, you push through the doubts, you're willing to be vulnerable with a coach or vulnerable with a trainer who is telling you what to do.

You have that same ability to be in a relationship. There's just a choice not to. Now, let me make it spiritual. I'll go back to what I was saying about the purpose of life. The reason we don't come into this world with all this fulfillment is because if it was given to us for free, we would not appreciate it or enjoy it. We would be the effect of it and we would have this shame. There's nothing worse in this world than being given something that I didn't work for, that I didn't feel came from me. It shuts down my godly gene of being a creator.

For example, I've seen this so many times. I might be coaching some wealthy parents and they're talking about their 18-year-old who is suicidal or depressed or into drugs. The truth is this child received so much without feeling a sense of earnership. And so a sense of shame is developed and in order to feed that shame

they go to more forms of instant gratification such as drugs and then the dark hole gets deeper and deeper. The greatest gift you can give someone is the ability to earn. I see this in the business world as well. When you overpay someone, you destroy their life. When you overpromote someone, very dangerous, you destroy their life. If you give a position, I have to tell this to my employees all the time.

I said, I want to promote you, but I know the minute you do, if you don't live up to this new title, you'll be gone in three months. I rather play the long game and have you over-earn your position. Some of my best employees were the ones who actually told me, don't give me a promotion. I want to get to a place where you feel you are absolutely forced to elevate me, because of because I need the responsibility. I don't want you to overgive me because I'm entitled.

Because what I love about this is like, okay, outside of no one's blaming anybody. It's not about blame. It's not about like, hey, you did this to, you did this on purpose, right? You deserve it's like, no, no, nobody deserves, like, to hurt. But I actually, it's interesting. I take all of these moments,

even though some of them can be very dark. Like, let's also just humanize the experience for a second because I think a lot of people see it as either, well, but I'm not allowed to feel then. You're saying I can't feel. And it's like, I'll tell you, I have cried yesterday for like 30 minutes because I got sad and I got in my head and my narrative started to play, right? Like you're human. Things like that can happen. Feel it, process it. Let it out, right? Like experience your emotions. But it's so interesting because I kind of have that. I look at things as when I have a challenge or when something doesn't go my way or you know, you get really hurt. You get broken up like something big, right? Loss the fucking name of my goddamn show.

I look at things like that is, of course, in those moments, I allow myself to be a human and feel, but after I always kind of like, I either talk to my partner or even my mom or my whoever I'm working with at the time. But the first thing I said was, this is an invitation for me to grow. I know that this is going to challenge me in ways that I haven't. I know that it's expanding my window of tolerance. I know that it's not fun, right? I'm not like, yay, I asked for this, but I know it's part of my story that's going to get woven in. And had I not experienced Shark tank sending me home and losing everything and clem dying and all of those terrible things. Well, then I wouldn't be where I'm at.

I wouldn't have the wisdom and the knowledge and people all the time like, how do you know all this? It's like because I experienced it. I went through it. I ate shit. I turned my light on and I got myself through the dark hole to the other side. The only way through. So to me, I really, that's why I love what you're talking about because it invites us to utilize this information as not a woe is me and oh my God. How would I know what adversity feels like?

How would I know what it feels like to have nothing and to earn what you've earned? How would I know, right? I wouldn't appreciate the incredible partner I have if I didn't have really terrible people that treated me poorly. And so what I love about this is it's an empowerment, I feel, in the way that you're describing at least how we could utilize Kabbalah to show us, if we're not like victim, woe is me, we can empower ourselves and be like, okay, let's do it. Everyone's in the pursuit of energy.

Pursuit of I want this and I want this and I want this approval and I want this power and I want this love. All of that is the pursuit of energy, but what people need to pursue is the building of the vessel for that energy. The best analogy I can make is, if you have a 60-walt light bulb, all you can get is 60 watts of energy.

Now, if I'm a 60-watt bulb, my soul is 60 watts, and my soulmate is 1,000 watts, what am I really doing? I'm begging the universe, I'm looking for it, I'm conditioning my body or plastic surgery

or trying to become, you know, a type of person to draw in a thousand watts, but my spiritual essence is still 60. If I drew in the soulmate at a 60 watt level, I would implode. I would short-circuit myself. That's why the universe protects me from these very healthy relationships. The pursuit needs to be, and that's why the word Kabbalah actually means to receive.

It means it's the study of the vessel. What do I need to do to my consciousness, to my trauma, to my fears, to transform them? And that's what expands me from a 60-watt bulb to a 100-wob bulb to a 500-wob bulb, and the stress, when you feel stress, anxiety, and doubts, it's only one reason. You're looking for more energy or you're summoning in more energy than your vessel can handle. And that's why you feel pressure, you feel stress. How do you expand the vessel? Please.

Let's get practical tools. Yes, please, because I think for so many of us listening, and I can completely commiserate and understand. I think for a long time, personally, I've done so much work on myself that you're like, yay, I'm getting to this place where like, these thoughts don't overtake me. and okay, and you're feeling good. And then you get knocked again, right? You get knocked on your ass and all of a sudden you're like, whoa, there went that rush of negative thoughts.

There went all of these things. I think, yeah, for anybody that's in that right now of like, I'm not meeting my person, I'm feeling really sad, what can they actually do? So it's actually a good sign. When you wake up with sadness, when you wake up with anger, when you wake up with frustration, when you wake up with intrusive thoughts, this is a good sign. This means that the light of your soul, we call this the surveillance. rounding light. It's the potential light that hasn't manifested yet in whatever pleasure

you're looking for. It's pressuring you to let it in and become what's called the inner light. It manifests as sadness because what it's doing is it's detoxifying the negativity to push it out so let the good energy in. The best example of this is if I told you, Sabrina, start drinking, you know, kale juice all day for the next 40 days. Now, that's a very healthy diet, it would seem, just drink green juice every day for the next 40 days. What you'll experience in the next three to seven days is the worst detox. You'll have a headache. Your skin will break out. You won't be able to sleep well. But you're putting something so good in your body as opposed to maybe fried foods and all the stuff that's not good for you. But what happens when you're ready to go to your

next destiny and something good is about to come in, you're going to detox. And I know this. In my business, if I all of a sudden have chaos or the things that are going wrong and I start to feel nervous or in relationships, I start to feel anxiety and stress. I know that some great energy is trying to summon itself in and it's trying to detox me of these negative emotions and feelings. Any thought, word, or action, which comes from lack or fear in order to connect to instant gratification. So when I act from lack or fear in anything that I do, I will disconnect from the frequency of the creator and I will connect to darkness. 100%. All right. So for example, let's say,

I wake up in the morning and all these negative thoughts are coming to me. All right, this is a test. Right now my soul is going through a test in order to earn this infinite energy of the creator. Can I give you a specific case study? Perfect because this I think will resonate with our audience. So what we see often is that high anxiety texting. Like, this person didn't text me. Why didn't they tell you?

And you start to overthink. You start to over. All the while, half the time, there's really no threat, right? This person might have just been at work. So I would love to use that as a great example because it gets, people are just in fear. Okay, so I give this example in my classes. Let's say you finally let go of a toxic relationship and you feel really good about it. What we know is going to happen is in three days, you're going to feel empty again.

There are still parts of you that haven't changed or transformed. There's lack and fear inside of you, which needs to come out to let the good relationship in. So after you feel off your high and mighty, like I finally let this relationship go, I block the person, whatever, then three days later you're going to feel empty. This is the test. The universe is basically saying, hey, Amanda, I want to give you the next level, but I need you to let go and surrender the old level. Just because you surrender, the relationship doesn't mean you surrendered your negativity. So I'm going to show you your negativity, your fears, your lack, your pain for the next couple weeks. Within three days, you all of a sudden forget the toxicity of the relationship.

All you remember are the good times. Oh, yeah, the good toe floats to the top, the bad sinks to the bottom. Correct. So you start to miss the person. You start to miss their hello in the morning. You start to miss their compliments. You start to miss like the way their body felt or the kiss felt or the way they smelled. And you start to reminisce.

And then that's when the reactive behavior starts. You start to go on social media. You start to look. Every click of the mouse, every tap on the phone that is coming from lack or fear to see what he is doing or she is doing is disconnecting you from the creator. and it's shrinking your vessel from a 60-wob to a 55-wop bulb to a 40-wob. And what it's doing essentially is pushing your wedding date of your soulmate out.

Then you finally go all the way and you said to rationalize, well, I want to be a good person, I got to reach out. Then you type in his name and you write one word. This one word is what is delaying your connection to your soulmate,

to abundance, to health and healing. This is just one word. And that one word is high. Yes, I said, hi. Just high. That high is so reactive. I've heard it all. People say, well, I don't want to be an asshole.

I want to be giving and I just want to make sure they're okay. No, you're just trying to feed your lack. It's my friend was, she's a neuropsychotherapist, Brit Frank. And she was like, in the addiction world, we call that the gripping at straws. They're like, no, no, no, I just need one more. Right. And when I love that you're describing, because it's like, okay, if people are listening this being like, oh, well, this is, it's like, no, no, no, what you're

also describing can be actually shown with like dopamine, right? Like our brain and our receptors. You can see it. Exactly. And then on top of it, what you're describing so beautifully is self-abandonment. We completely self-abandoned. Our wants, needs and desires. And then you go towards it. And of course you're going to feel disconnected because you don't even know what's happening internally in your vessel, let alone you're trying to figure out this other person, which just completely removes you from feeling the pain. And that was one thing like when Clem passed away and I like broke up with this guy, I allowed myself to feel. And I was like, you have to let, just watch it burn.

And if that meant I was not, like, I just kind of was coasting for a week because grief is a weird thing and how it manifests in us is strange as fuck. This is the most powerful thing you've said. And it is to pause and to feel, not to go into depression, but to feel with certainty. To fully feel with certainty and to know that that's expanding you, not shrinking you. No. And to me, there is no way on God's green earth. I would be where I'm at now if I didn't go through that. It would, I wouldn't.

I wasn't pushed to that level. And sometimes, like you have said, so many times when we surrender. Like, I, it's hard in the moment. And I am not going to try to bullshit anybody listening to be like, oh, come on, you know, hindsight's 2020. Did you really surrender then? It's like, maybe not a hundred, right? Maybe there was one percent of me holding on going, but why did you have to take climb? Why did you have to do this?

But then when I finally was like, you know what? You got to accept it, right? Like, what am I going to fight this? Like, I can't go back and bring him back. I can't go under the earth and put him back together. there was this really small moment of, you know what, let's see what else comes, right? Like I know that there's better for me. This can't be why I'm here just to suffer every day. And with that came, still suffering, right? Like, you're still having sadness. You're still having

emotions. I think, again, the common misconception is if you're just going to surrender and just never feel sadness. But what I see it as is we're expanding our window of tolerance. And we're expanding by doing this, by being able to sit in discomfort, by being allowing yourself to be like, hey, okay, I might want to text this person right now. but I also know that future me is going to probably regret this or whatever. This is not for my higher good. This isn't actually serving me. Then I can sit there and be like, cool, I'm making a choice. You are a case study.

And I share this because as the audience is hearing it, like, you are a case study. Because I remember you message me. This is before you had a platform. This is before we even had a platform. When my manager told me, oh, you should go on this podcast. And I'm like, well, who's this person? And I looked you up and I saw you had messaged me four years ago. So it's before you had a show.

Before any of this. And without getting to the details, obviously, you can share, but obviously you were going through a very difficult time. And I don't even know how you found me, but it just happened. I still don't know how you found me. My mom. My mom loves your stuff. My mom and my best friend page, I send me your videos still to this day.

And I'm like, I know. He's great. Oh, wow. So that's how you reached out. Okay. So you reached out. And then I saw today who you are and in fact you're impacting millions of lives. And now, I don't know what you went.

I didn't know what you went through four years ago. But for me, immediately connected. And this is what I want your audience to know, which is here's a woman who had no connection to the world. She wasn't empowering or influencing the millions of lives she is today. She went through something dark, horrible, painful, whatever it was. You came out of it. But the reason why the universe squeezed you so much was because you had to become a vessel

for millions of people. You had to affect, because I see your content. I see the way people engage with it. and I see just how much people are empowered by it, that can only happen if you go through something. And it's a total illusion, by the way. It feels real when it's happening. But every painful situation comes to an end.

Every single bit of pain you're going through has an expiration date. Your free will is actually to speed it up and have fun with it or to let it ride out for its full time. But just know that if you're single, if you're going through a health condition, if you have anxiety, if you can't make ends meet, there is a day that this will expire because the creator is trying to give you everything. And your free will is, are you going to experience every day with joy, happiness, even if you have to fake it? Are you going to ask the right questions such as, why is my soul going through this so that I can transform?

Are you going to take back full responsibility and not blame anybody else? Because if you're blaming even one person, you're slowing down the process. And then you'll speed it up. So something that should have taken a year of being broke will take one day. I remember before we built the brand and I got married at the time, it was, we had both had no money. And it was two years of literally,

like I used to bring water home from my work because we couldn't afford clean water. That's how bad it was. Debt, we didn't pay rent for six months. It was just painful, painful, painful. And Mary Ruth is doing like health and wellness. I'm doing nonprofit work. Like,

I'm not making any money. And like, it was bad. It was really bad. And I'm like, wait a minute, I'm helping millions of people. I'm changing the lives.

I'm giving my time for charity. And I had this victim moment where I said, how is the creator? How is the universe not rewarding me for helping so many people? And I remember I was in New York City. I was walking down the street.

And I realized, wait, this is the test. I don't know what my future is supposed to be like. I know I'm supposed to make an impact, but I'm actually being tested. And if I feel like a victim right now,

I'm failing the test. So I shifted my mind. I said, I'm going to now be happy as if everything that I've ever wanted is being achieved. Yes, at any moment I could come home and the landlord could change the locks. That's a reality. But I'm going to be so happy as if I own everything. And I started to look at the buildings in New York and I said, I own all these buildings. I said, shift.

And I said, that was the week. That was the week. We came home. I came home and Mary was like, we should create a product. Oh, I said, I said we should create a product. He's like, well, I want to create a liquid vitamin. And then that was the week we started Mary with Organics. And today it's the leading liquid vitamin brand in the nation.

But that was that moment. If I had not shifted my consciousness and shifted to a new reality, new destiny, or expanded my vessel, that light always wanted to come in, that energy always wanted to come in. It might have came in years later. I may have had to actually be kicked out of my apartment and go through pain, pain, pain, pain, pain like you where you say, hey, look, what else do I got to lose? I might as well be positive. Yeah. But I want everybody to know, like, you don't have to suffer to succeed. You don't have to lose everything to succeed. You just need to make a choice and you have the power to make this choice

at any moment that you want to be like the creator despite the darkness. In fact, because of the darkness, it's the most powerful. When it's hardest for you, I'll tell you this one last thing. Well, not one last but one thing. The great cabalists you still always say, the greatest moment in their lives. And this should, if you can get to the point where the greatest moment of your life

is this, you've made it. The greatest moment of your life when you don't see the future, when you're in total darkness, when everyone's against you, when nothing is going your way, and you have no clue where your redemption will come from,

if you can be happy and have certainty beyond logic, that's when you shift to the most, miraculous reality. And when everything's going your way, you see the future, you see where the money's going to come from, you see where the relationship's going to come, it's not as powerful. You've got to see nothing and still choose to have certainty. That's when you become like God. That's your godly gene that you're activating. And I'll tell you, the miracles will rush it.

It's so funny. My grandmother used to say, everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. That was her always to us. She would say, at least you know it's going to come to an end one day. and then it'll something else will start. And I could not agree more on that surrender piece because or the believing piece because I think for a lot of people, we misconstrue, oh, let me manifest because I write down every single thing.

And if that person doesn't have every single, oh, they checked all my boxes. And it's like, that, that, that's not what, it's not about. You're saying they have certainty and this person is my soulmate as opposed to saying I have certainty that my soulmate will come. Exactly.

Like, no, no, but that person, because this person, he was tall and he was athletic and he was smart and he was funny, or she was so beautiful and she was all these and she checked every box. But then I hear, and I'm like, go on. What were the boxes that they checked? Then the boxes they didn't check are like,

they cared about you, right? Like basic human aspects. And so what I had to do, I remember because there was years, I'm not kidding, where I was standing in my own way. Like you said, I was pushing away my what I believed could come because I genuinely told, I would just tell my mom, like, no, I'm not going to meet them. They're never going to be for me.

I'm never going to find anybody. And I'll never forget. Yeah. Was that just a defense mechanism? Complete defense mechanism. I was terrified. And I remember my mom saying, Sabrina, I was 30 at the time. She said, if I told you at 32, you're going to meet your partner right now.

I'm 34. So she told me, if I had 32, you're going to meet your partner. If I told you, I had my crystal ball right now that 32, that's it. You're going to meet him. How would the next two years for you go? And I was like, oh, I'd be. I'd be so relaxed. And she goes, okay.

So then why don't you start implementing that? And sure enough, I met my fucking partner at 32 because I put it in my head. I know I'm going to, I know I will meet this person. And I got granular on how I wanted to feel with this person. I want to feel seen hurt and understood. I want to feel safe with this person. I want to feel supported by this person because I knew and I started to feel like, what would it feel like to feel supported?

Oh, wow, I could express myself and they listen. Right? I didn't know. You haven't met my father. That's not the life for the childhood. And you're a strong personality. I'm a big personality. I am a fickle bitch and I know I'm not for everybody.

I have to meet your partner one day and see what? He's outside. Oh, that was him? Oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah. Very like, I know. He's very reserved. Like at first he's, that's why it took us a minute to break through because he's very kind of just like, hey, just in his head. But he can hold space for your energy.

Oh, my God. He holds space. I saw that. He holds space for your energy. So beautiful. He's just watching you admiring your, your, your, you know, you got a lot of, you're alive, your hot wire. You're a live wire. And he's, he's admiring it. The ride that steals the spotlight every time it hits the road. That's the Volkswagen Tiguan. It's sleek exterior.

makes a first impression you can't ignore. Step inside to find available full leather seats and wood accents. Under the hood, the available 201 turbocharged horsepower engine gives it a fun to drive edge. The refined Tiguan, you deserve more style. Visit vw.ca to learn more. SuvW, German engineered for all. But for so long, I went for the guys that were the center of attention because I was like, oh, if they like me, look, these big celebrities and all of these people

and all these guys that have you are right it gives me worth right oh they liked me they chose me i'm special but not being fulfilled by any means and so i think for fuck's sake for anybody listening start to embody even as absurd as it might seem to feel how you want to feel with somebody even if you're like but i've never felt this with someone before great start feeling it because that more energy because then guess what happens you start to meet the fuck boy and they're sitting across you're giving you all these sweet nothing's and you're like, nah, I'm good. I know I can see right through this. I'm very clear on what it is that I'm waiting to feel and have with this person. Now, again, that has to be used responsibly because it's not about the spark and the butterflies. I was actually curious.

Does, you might not have an answer. Does Kabbalah have any thoughts? Because I'm not a big fan of the spark and the butterflies and all these crazy feelings because it's fleeting, right? And I hear it every day. Like, I didn't feel the spark with this person, so I don't want to go out with them again. And you're like, God damn it. They were amazing and they were everything you wanted. Does Kabbalah speak to that as far as when your partner? searching. For 20 years, I've kind of like heard everything that you could possibly hear about relationships and the dating scene. One of the things I tell people is, you know, every single person who comes into your life that you feel a connection with on some level, even if you've gone

on a date, and there are a fragment of your soulmate. And people are looking for the soulmate, put that nonsense out of your head. Right now, every relationship that is coming to you is there to expand your essence to prepare you for great fulfillment. And it's the question, isn't I felt a spark or I didn't feel a spark. Someone recently told me I went on a date. I felt connected to the person and I didn't feel the chemistry of the spark. I would say, hey,

you don't want to end this process and then have to repeat it later. Why don't you ask the universe and you can literally use prayer as a technology? Prayer is the most powerful technology. Prayer is just really in your own language and your own way, just ask because it's a frequency that draws an answer

and say, hey, what is the right thing for my soul? Should I go on a couple more dates? everyone's kind of like, well, no, I'm not going to marry this person, so what's the point? Or no, this is not long term, so what's the point? That's not it. You may need to learn a lesson that you can only learn on the third date. And so you need to be very open and surrender to the frequency of the universe about what you should do.

And if you feel after surrendering that you should go on another date, another date, then you should because you're going to learn a powerful secret that you need for the real relationship. So now, the rebuttal that we'll get from that, because I agree with you. But the rebuttal we get back is like, but I'm scared. I don't want to get hurt. and I'm scared to open up. And it's fear. So my point will be exactly. I want everyone, I want this for myself and I want for our audience, your audience, to be like,

hey, let's shift the goal. The goal is no longer, how do I find him? The goal is how do I find myself? And so where are you hidden? You are hidden behind your fears. So as soon as it's uncomfortable, as soon as it's scary, as soon as you just want to run and scream and shut down and be defensive. I want you to explore that because that is your direct path to your soulmate.

It may not be this person. I mean, don't overthink it. Don't control it. Live your life one day at a time and be so open and feel those feelings. And that is what's going to happen. And I can tell you for a fact, one of the things I've been trained to do. And trust me, I want to run, run Pisces, you know, it's like the fish. You can't grab it.

run away from anything that's uncomfortable and confronted. And by the you as a tourist, which is also interesting, you said it, the soul, we can get to astrology, but the soul chooses what day, time, city, everything to be born into that is most conducive astrologically energetically for its correction, which is interesting because the torus craves stability so much. It's like, right, you remove the earth from the torus and it's like they lose it, that you actually were born under that astrological influence because it so mimics the correction of the soul that you needed to have, which is abandonment, which is the greatest instability.

It's very interesting. 100%. And I will say this, as you've been speaking for the last three weeks, you're fucking, I'm so excited that we had to have you on because you're powerful. And what you've been saying has really been hitting me, so I know it's going to hit everyone listening. And here's where I need to make an admission,

and even to myself of like, cool, sure. Yeah, I've been freaking out the last few weeks. I've been fucking scared. I've been all that. And you know why this all happened? I needed to step into myself. And I needed to step in further in the universe. You literally stepped into your name.

And the universe was I was hiding behind my old company. Cool. It took that away. It took shark tank. It took my dog away. I was hiding behind him. It took everything away. And then I created all this.

And I was still hiding behind my name. No, no, look. I'm showing up. I'm being authentic. I'm going forward. No. And I do believe that, sure, did this have to happen? Well, no.

okay, I could have kept going. And it's like, but sometimes when you get knocked on your ass, it's totally okay to take accountability of like, cool, well, what was that for? You know what? That really was for my higher good. That piece of shit X that that totally, you know, like when I hear that of like, he did this and he did this. And like he strung me along and he, you give away your power completely by saying, but what was my part in it? I wasn't an innocent victim always. I didn't do anything. It's like, no, you played a part. And sometimes that part is silence. Sometimes that part is not speaking up. Sometimes that part is self-abandoning. sometimes that part is removing yourself

and just it's not shaming yourself but it's taking accountability of what's in your control so that you can make changes for your fucking life that's so beautiful I was sitting in the cell house talking to just some random group of people I love doing that I love people who don't know who I am and just asking random questions because that's where I get my material and there was a couple guys, couple girls

and I said what's the red flag you see in relationships and then everybody shared something and then I shared I said a red flag for me is when you're going to you speak evil speech about people in your life or people in your past because it indicates that you are the effect of your life. And I'll tell you, if you're dating, one of the things that you should really be conscious of is find the good in all the people who hurt you and even your exes and speak well of them. And your date or your potential future partner will admire that.

Because if I hear someone speaking bad and speaking evil speech, then I also know that you're going to be doing that to me at some point. I also know that you don't really believe in the creator. You don't really believe in your soul. You don't really believe in your power. Like you're giving your power away. So you'll only attract people who also give their power away. And then you'll complain about that too.

So really be hyper conscious because Kabbalah says that every word we say creates like an angel, creates a force, creates an energy intelligence. And we do more. words than anything else. If I do one negative action, fine, that's one negative energy. But if I say a thousand negative words, because I'm complaining or I'm gossiping, I'm creating a thousand negative forces. And so much chaos in our lives, I mean, we could jam on this forever. Like, there's so many concepts that are coming to my brain right now, because I think the audience, even though they haven't heard it yet, like the future audience is like, you know, they're thinking so many things and

they're pulling this down because time is an illusion anyway. So it collapses and everything is one. but the evil speech is also something that is blocking people from sustenance. We're going to have you brought for part two. After this conversation, I was like, we have so many other places. We've only talked about one thing. Exactly. But it's so powerfully as well because like it's so funny, whenever I talk about my ex, the first thing I'll say it was, oh, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. They were like, what?

And I'm like, they were like, you almost like lost yourself. And I'm like, yeah, thank God. Because I needed to learn that lesson. I needed him in my life. This was, to me, it wasn't a negative. Sure. he might have been a narcissist and I was really unhealthy. We were the perfect match, right? It was it was reaffirming that I needed to move past my father and those rich. I married my father. It was the same

person. It was like, it was Freudian. But I do believe that if we can at the very least hold space for it's not happening to me, it's happening for me. Like these, all of these things, all of these bad dates, all of this, all of that, all that. And I get it. I totally understand that your body, you might feel burned out. And like, it's okay to take a break, right? Like, you don't have to constantly keep dating and putting yourself out there. But, but, you know, But I do believe that the way we talk that, that'll be, we'll be going on to that next time of like the way we talk to ourselves and how important it is. But if we can, the very least. Talk about guilt and shame and holding onto that.

Oh, fuck. All right. Great. Part two is already organized. But like even just something as simple as like, something that we've been, like I've been working with my clients a lot is like, okay, when you're going through something, even something as simple as, well, given everything I've experienced growing up, it doesn't surprise me. This isn't a shock that this would be my response. Or this isn't, this wouldn't be surprising. That's how I feel.

How validating of like, oh, wow, yeah, I guess I'm not being dramatic. I'm not being crazy. Like, wow, yeah, given everything I've been through, this seems like a very normal emotional response, right? I'm allowed to be upset. I can be all of those things. Even just that is such a great place to start because I know me. I'll get in my head like, you're a fucking idiot. You start to attack.

You start to put down. That's magnified by a thousand because then what happens, I walk in, my shoulders are slumped, my head is down. My heart is hurting. You can hear it in my voice. It's not just that it's up here. It's impacting now every meeting, every decision, every interaction. because you could literally bump into somebody that could be someone that you should be meeting,

but because you're just not there and you're not present, you're not open, because you're in here, missing out on life. You are so correct. I can even tell you how many times I know this for myself, when I'm on that right vibration of certainty, of joy, taking responsibility, the amount of amazing people I meet, the amount of miracles that happen in one day, it's almost suffocating. And when you're in the wrong vibration and sadness being the worst, when a person is sad and they're choosing to stay, sad. The feeling of sadness is fine. It's the choice to stay sad that becomes problematic. You're so disconnected from the world of miracles that you may see one good thing a year,

when in reality the norm should be one incredible synchronistic, powerful thing happening every five minutes. That reality is possible for everyone. I don't know how much time we have. I was going to say, well, wrap it up now. Something came to my mind, so I feel like I need to say it when you're on your way to a date. I don't know why this came to my mind, but always as you're driving to the day or you're in the Uber or you're getting there, when you get very excited about something, because an addiction specialist once told me this, he said that the addiction of gambling, for example, isn't being in the casino and playing craps. It's the drive to Vegas that's so addictive. Anticipation. It's the anticipation.

And what happens during the anticipation is we lose ourselves. We start to fantasize. we start to become the effect. And whenever you enter something as the effect, that's how you'll end up. Whatever the seed is is what the fruit will be. On your way to the date, your consciousness needs to be that,

and you can do this again through prayer as is what I do. If I'm driving, I'll say to a business meeting or whatever, I'll say, I want to show up as a light, as a giver. I want to experience whatever's meant for my soul. I don't want to react. I don't want to be the effect. and as soon as I feel there's an energy controlling me, I want to let it go. That's the big thing.

If you're so excited about something, it means it's controlling you. So you have to really let it go. If you feel pain about something, it also means it's controlling you. So you always want to get to that place where you are yourself and you can feel yourself. And it's not the other person who's controlling you or your excitement for them, the addiction to them. So I don't know why that came to my mind. But in the future, we can definitely talk about shame, guilt. I mean, I, somebody who called me recently and said they had an abortion like 40 years ago and they're still holding on to that and all these other things.

So that's a topic, obviously. And, and. Okay, I'm excited. We'll do it. Yeah. There's the party to be a part too. Yes. David, thank you so much for being on.

Could you please share with everyone? Where can they find you? It'll be all in the show notes, but just in general. I always say, you know, I never have anything to sell when I come on these podcast. But I, my platform is all for charity and it's all to just kind of get back. And you can find me on Instagram. That's where I post like these 90-second clips that I hope are very, valuable for people. But also, I have a couple thousand people a month who sign up for a master class

I created. They can pay whatever they want for it. All goes to charity. And it's called cabala1.com. K-A-B-B-B-A-L-H-O-N-E dot com. And if you take that, literally, it's going to explain all the secrets to life, why your soul is here, how to handle challenges, how to handle stress, how to handle fear. And it'll give you step-by-step tools and practical ways that you can change and be the best version of yourself. Fuck yeah, I love it. Well, until next time, until part two. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for being on.