The School of Greatness - 1009 Pursuing Happiness w/Ravi Patel

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

“Principles only serve you if they’re serving you. And more often than not we’re principled at our own expense.”Actor and documentarian Ravi Patel returns to the School of Greatness for a profound, and hilarious, conversation on his worldwide quest for clarity when it comes to the core truths of life and what really makes people happy. Lewis and Ravi discuss everything from the dangers of celebrity in 2020 America to how his love life has changed since "Meet the Patels" and why he thinks all men should be in therapy.Check out "Ravi Patel’s Pursuit of Happiness" on HBO Max.Ravi's first interview on the School of Greatness.

This is episode number 1009 with Ravi Patel. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. James Dean once said, dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.

And writer Joseph Addison said, three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. My guest today is my friend Ravi Patel, who is on a mission to uncover the secrets to being happy. You probably know Ravi Patel from the hit documentary, Meet the Patels, and now he's back with a new series on HBO Max called Ravi Patel's Pursuit of Happiness. And in each episode, Ravi and a friend or family member traveled to different parts of the world

seeking answers to life's universal questions like, is there a right way to parent your children? Or what's an ideal work-life balance? I've actually had the joy of becoming friends with Ravi over the past few years. And I'll tell you that there is no one more curious or more loving. life balance. I've actually had the joy of becoming friends with Ravi over the past few years, and I'll tell you that there is no one more curious or more loving. His first interview on the School of Greatness was simply awesome, and I think this one is even better. And in this episode, we discuss why Ravi is now focusing less on big achievements in his career and more on daily processes, what he's learned from fatherhood, and how he's fought to improve his relationship with his wife,

Ravi's complicated relationship with fame that he has, why therapy is essential, especially for men, and so much more. If you're enjoying this at any moment, make sure to share it with someone who you think would be inspired to hear it as well. And a quick reminder to subscribe to The School of Greatness over on Apple Podcasts, as well as giving us a rating and a review. And again, let me know what you think about it while you're listening. Okay. After this quick message, the one and only Ravi Patel. So the premise of the show, in case you can't tell, is every episode I travel with someone in my life and we have some big life question and that's what takes us into an international destination and everywhere we

went has some sort of a interesting thing that they're doing culturally that advances that conversation yeah and the way I figured out which things to do was I prioritize the questions that are most urgent in my actual life so that way, I've been in so many failed TV shows. How many shows have you done that have actually had a one episode on TV? Not many. I've been on one episode of a ton of shows. Well, how many were that you were actually? Well, I was like a regular on. A regular on.

I would, I don't know, maybe three or four, not many. And I've never gotten past one season. Really? Yeah. I'm, I'm poison'm poison um i i've had i mean i've done like 15 pilots isn't that crazy which is insane yeah where you're like this is the one like we're gonna make it well it's that it is the lottery ticket in entertainment like when you get and that next step is just insane money great lifestyle that's like the third season where you're really having a great lifestyle good money yeah season one first season you're making tons of money really a tons it's not a big network and yeah there are big number and so i know i'm really lucky to have gotten that far but i was stalled

out there and i will say it taught me like one of my most important life lessons which is you know i imagine a lot of your listeners are you're probably like, the fun of achievement for a lot of us is in reaching the top of the mountain. And I feel like at this, now that I'm older, and I remember when I was 40, I woke up and I kind of realized, oh, you know, I've had such a good life. I've done so many cool things and I've become used to people complimenting me on my achievements. But there I was that day when I turned 40 and I remember I was like looking in the mirror, like it was like a lame TV show. And I had this moment of like, wait, but I don't even know that I remember everything that happened, nor did I necessarily enjoy it. And I was tired. And I think, you know, the kind of turning point for me there was that I

wanted to start figuring out how to enjoy every day more. And the hustle of trying to climb these tall mountains, difficult things, that's what we feed off of, right? We get that dopamine, the adrenaline, our backs against the wall. Can we do this thing? Right. But, and what you kind of primally tell yourself is in order to get to the top mountain, you have to be myopically obsessed with getting to the top of that mountain at this, at the expense of your relationships, your health, your day. It's all forward looking though. And in the meantime, your life passes by. It's all forward looking though. And in the meantime, your life passes by. So now, whenever I'm trying to decide what to do,

I think more about, okay, there may or may not be a top to this mountain. From what I'm hearing, there's actually never a top to the mountain. Right, there's always another mountain. There's a, oh yeah, oh you get to the top and there's nothing there, which is something that Prince said.

Empty, yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to enjoy the day, enjoy the process. And so even when the show, you know, they said, CNN said to me, we wanna do a show with you, the only thing we know for sure is we want it to include travel, but outside of that, do whatever's authentic to you.

First off, I'm not an expert in anything, so I couldn't do a show on food or, you know, anything along the lines of the school of greatness. I'm not an expert in this stuff, but what I am is genuinely curious and I love love. And on a practical level, because I know shows go away so easily, I wanted to make a show that once it gets canceled,

I'll have still said it was a life-changing experience. Exactly. Even if it doesn't work out or even if it gets cancelled Yeah, which means not traveling alone being with people. I want to be closer to enough for their part Including my wife and kid so that way they're in the premise of the show. They're with me on these trips Yeah, enjoying it that in and of itself makes the show amazing, right? But then on top of that we're we're tackling questions together that really matter to us. So Mexico with my parents we went to one of the hottest retirement spots for expats.

Where was that, Puerto Verde? Merida. Merida. Merida. And that episode is about retirement and aging at a time when I'm on the other side of 40, I'm starting to realize everyone's mortality. And being a father,

I actually empathize with my parents in a way that I never have before. Because when you're a father, you obsess over this kid. And you just love the kid so much. And you want the kid to love you back. And I realized that my parents have felt that way about me for 40 plus years. And because of the way society is set up right now, we all live further apart. We're increasingly individualized, private. We're not dependent on each other at all because we don't need to ride to the airport. We have Uber. And I feel like parents today are very much victims of a society that lives much more further apart and much more. And I don't want to pay that.

Yeah, you know what's interesting? I moved out of my house when I was 13. I was the youngest of four. What? I moved out when I was 13. I was the youngest of four kids, right? My parents were just working really hard day and night to try to make money just to like provide for us.

My dad eventually, the work paid off and eventually like right when I hit 14, his kind of like 20 years of work paid off and he started to make money and it wasn't like this struggle anymore. It's like, okay, we can afford some nice things. But those 13 years was very stressful for me because my siblings were older,

they didn't hang out with me. So I felt very alone. They were older. They had their friends. One was off to college. You know, it's like, I was just this young brat running around trying to get attention from my older siblings.

Right. And I didn't really have many friends. My brother went to prison at one point for four and a half years when I was eight. So that time in a small town in Ohio, everyone knows everyone's news. How old was your brother? He was 19 at the time. So he went to. So he sold LSD to an undercover cop. So first offense,

sentenced for six to 25 years, got out in four and a half years. Was it bad LSD? Did the cop not enjoy the trip? This was just the time of like the war against drugs in the 90s when it was just like crackdown against everything. So anyways, he probably didn't enjoy it either. So anyways, I felt very alone. I just felt like, you know, I didn't want to be in my home anymore. I didn't want to be in my hometown anymore. I felt disconnected to everything because I felt like alone. I was just like, get me out of here.

Because I could see myself doing more and more bad things. I was cheating on all my homework and tests at school. I got suspended at one point for a few days. I started stealing like candy bars and cigarettes or whatever just to like for the thrill of something. But those are good things to have at that age. And I remember just being like, I don't want to go down this path that my brother went down.

You had all these thoughts at the age of 13. I was alone the whole time. So I had a lot of like reflection time, a lot of beat up, like I'm not good enough. And then a lot of you're going to go make something yourself. It was like this contrast. And for whatever reason, I went to this summer camp in Missouri for many years growing up. My dad would send to meet me to a camp for Christian scientists. And I went there this one year when I was going into seventh grade,

going into eighth grade that summer. And I met these kids who went to this school for Christian scientists in St. Louis, Missouri, when I was out in this camp. For whatever reason, I was just like, I really want to be around these kids because they're very positive. They were super positive and they were welcoming. And I hadn't experienced any kids like that growing up. At least in my memory, I'm sure there were some, but I didn't really feel like I had close friends. And I was like, I wanna go be around these kids. So I begged my parents when I got back from the summer camp, I said, please send me to this school.

It was a private boarding school. And I'm probably the only kid that begged their parents to send them away to a school. But I was just like, I need to get out of here. And they were reluctant, but all summer I nagged them. I said, I don't wanna be here, I wanna away to a school. Right. But I was just like, I need to get out of here. And they were reluctant. But all summer, I nagged them. I said, I don't want to be here. I want to go to the school.

Here's why. I'm going to do whatever it takes. And I went there when I was 13. I lived in a dorm for the next four years. And I lived with these. So I've been away from my family and my parents since 13. Was that a turning point for you when you went to that school? It was the greatest turning point of my life.

Because I don't think I'd be where I'm at today without that experience. I mean, it was challenging. It was a strict school. We had to wear a dress code. We had to wake up at 6, 15 a.m. Right. You know, clean your room, like two-hour study hall mandatory, all this stuff. Like, it was hard.

Was it the attention and the structure or do you think it was also the community? The structure. It was the coaches that I had in all sports that really, they could see my anger. And they just knew how to guide me. They knew how to care, be there for me. They were just great mentors. You got a family at this place. And there was 100 other guys that you lived with in the dorm.

So it was like, we're playing sports. We're hanging out. We're having fun. That sounds so fun, dude. It was amazing. It was amazing. I don't remember you going into this detail in the documentary, which by the way, I love thank you appreciate it. So good I'm so proud. Thank you, man. We're still trying to figure out how to get that out there. But Yeah, so I um, I can't remember what I was saying this but I I I left when I was

I just went to Mexico recently and visited my girlfriend. And I had a reminder of different cultures in the world, which is going to bring back to your show and what you've done. Because we have distanced ourselves in American culture to like leave home at certain times and kind of like, like you said, be far away from our family. like you said be far away from our family when i went to mexico her she's got three younger sisters and everyone lives at home until they get married or and it's like common for guys who are 30 35 to live with their parents still yeah in mexico yes at least in certain places in mexico we showed that in the first episode of my show maybe not like in mexico city or like a big city but in the countryside like and i was like wait minute, your uncle didn't leave the house until you were 35?

All extended families live together and they don't send people to nursing homes. Yeah, he was like 40, I think, when he left. I go, really? And I was like, yeah. And they all, her grandmother is very sick right now. And they trade, like her mom and her uncle, they trade every week. They go and spend time with their grandmother. And they're all there close with her constantly.

So everyone lives together. Everyone supports each other. It's beautiful. And I was like, this is just a different culture that I was completely opposite with, but I could see myself appreciating, like if I had two young daughters, maybe I'd want them to stay with me until they, you know, until they got married or something. I don't know. Well, this is a part of American culture that really bothers me because even in Indian culture, it's very similar to that where, you know, families are expected to be together forever and take care of each other. Yes. And, you know, Americans will put their parents in nursing homes and talk to them once a year. And it's just people in family in American families.

This is a generalization because it's not all American families by any means. But it feels like there's a lot of American families in which, you know, resentment gets fostered. People, if they don't like each other, they don't hang out with each other. There's a lot of like you're always having to prove why you should still give each other attention, which I think is so toxic. I think it's unhealthy because one thing that I know firsthand. What do they do in Indian cultures if they disagree with someone in the family or they resent them for... They fight, but they stick together.

Really? And a beautiful thing happens when you fight and you stick together. You know, making Meet the Patels, a documentary I made with my sister, you know, we made that together for five or six years. I definitely liked her, but I don't know... I mean, I loved her, but I'm not sure I liked her.

Let me put it that way. I found her kind of annoying, like we were just very different and we'd also never really both willingly wanted to be in like an intimate sibling relationship and and we but we made this movie together because we love each other we believe in the idea of siblings the vision being supportive to be together that's the that's That's the culture from which we come. And when we made that movie, we fought so much, so much to the point where we made each other cry one day.

Wow. We sent each other to therapy. And I see that as one of the greatest moments in my life in so many ways. But specifically as it relates to my sister, because we couldn't fire each other, because that wasn't even a possibility in our culture, our only choice was to figure out a way to see each other and love each other more.

And as a result, we're now best friends. We got through this fighting period. And when you're fighting with someone you love, what you see are all the things that they're doing wrong to you, all the things about them that annoy you, tons of resentment and vitriol. And when you start to love each other, and this is something I've applied to all my relationships since then, true love is actually in those moments, finding a way to not be principled. Because I think being principled is actually... Like being right? Or what do you mean by being principled principled is this idea i'm doing this out of principle because you did this yeah yeah a sense of

of justice for yourself is something that as americans we're taught that we need to have so hard isn't it it's so hard it's your ego and you're also trying to you're like in your mind logically everything i'm saying makes sense. Everything you're saying is irrational. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. But actually, principles only serve you if they're serving you. And more often than not, we're principled at our own expense. What you need to do when you love someone is throw out principles.

Throw it out. How do you do that? It's hard. You exercise it, but it's hard. So how do you give a, how do you throw it at principles? If someone is breaking, is crossing boundaries, is hurting you, is saying hurtful things, is not holding to their word, whatever it is, how do you just say, okay, keep doing this to me and allow it to happen to me. Yeah. Okay.

So you're in a relationship. Yes. Okay. So you, you understand this, right? Okay. Anyone who's in a relationship. Okay. So in your marriage, how do you understand this, right? Yes. Okay, anyone who's in a relationship. Okay, so. In your marriage, how do you do this? Okay, so when my wife and I used to fight.

Used to? Is that so you don't do this anymore? Oh, no, no, no. Oh, we had a fight last week that was an hour long, and it was one of those where at the end of it, I'm like, I still don't know what we're talking about. I don't even know what we just discussed. No idea.

I'll give you an example, though. In all of these fights, every single fight has ended the same way, or at least resolved in the same way, which is me saying sorry, even if I don't believe it. You're not wrong. Okay. And she says sorry, even if she doesn't believe it. And we both in that moment when our walls go down, we actually focus more on trying to love each other and reconcile than we do on being right or winning. And what I've learned is, you know, look, and I don't do this perfectly every time, but with my wife now, we used to fight and it would be trying to prove to the other person.

I'm right, you're wrong. I'm right, you're wrong. Why did you do this to me? Getting some sense of justice and understanding. You know, men, we always try to say that we're speaking logically and they're speaking emotionally. That's like one thing that we all do. Yes. When they're both actually equally fucked up.

Yeah. And what I've noticed is when I start, so when that fight's about to happen, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Before it's even here, you start to feel something. You start to feel something really subtle in your gut. Before there's anything here or here, you start to feel something in your gut where it's like, uh-oh, I think,

it's like those eight seconds before you're about to vomit where it's just like a very, you're so familiar where you're like, oh, it's about to go down. Okay, so whenever that feeling comes, I immediately clock it and the mantra I try to repeat to myself is

create a safe space. Be on her side. Wow. Love her. Create a safe space. That's crazy. Be on her side. What if she's completely irrational and wrong? But if you're on her side, which you are uh-huh if you really love someone you're on their side yeah okay it takes you to say to put yourself in their point of view embracing all the argumentation that they're giving you even if you lewis do not agree with it right you have to be the other person on another level and you also have to practice being graceful. Practicing being graceful is something that I work on constantly. It's hard for me. I can be reactive.

I can be sensitive. And being graceful while also trying to inhabit her point of view and emotions is something that I've noticed I can fake it when I start because I can't get rid of that initial anger I know I just it's just there I love you but yeah but I actually what I do is I kind of fake it but a funny thing happens and I'm always surprised by it every single time I'm surprised by it by doing it I actually eventually stop faking it and I actually do start to understand her point of view. Because another thing happens.

By doing that, by letting her know that I'm trying really hard to understand her point of view, and that I'm thinking about her feelings and not mine, she ends up understanding my feelings as well. And we end up having a conversation where all that other shit, which never helps, isn't there. Right. It's a pretty dope thing. It's interesting. I have a practice that I try with this where whenever I get emotional or triggered, whether

it's in a relationship or whatever, I've gotten a lot better to the point of saying, I do this practice where I take my ego out of my chest and I put it over here on the side. Okay. And I allow the interaction to happen between that person and my ego out of my chest and I put it over here on the side. Okay. And I allow the interaction to happen between that person and my ego. And I just kind of look and observe it.

So imagine like my ego is a ball in my chest and I take it out and I put it over here, right? For my mind or whatever. Put it here and now the person's attacking that ego as opposed to me. Right. So I just try to look at it and observe it from over here and say, okay, they're not attacking me.

They're attacking this. It's like, just be calm and relax. Yeah. And I'm usually pretty good until it like keeps getting triggered over and over again. It's like trying to figure out how to. I love that. Fully take that out of me because I feel like the ego

serves us in a lot of ways, but it also doesn't serve us in those times when we react and we're negative and we're hurtful. Yeah. Say things we don't want to say, whatever it may be. So I try to take it out of me and observe the conversation from the side, from above, and do what you do as well, which is like, okay, let me just listen and let them share and talk and try to be peaceful. We're basically advocating for some version of Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen, where we have to be multiple people at the same time.

Exactly. It's crazy, man. It's crazy. Well, this documentary you did was huge for you five years ago. I remember when it came out on Netflix, seeing it was featured on Netflix, kind of before they were promoting documentaries. Now documentaries are massive on Netflix. And would you say that kind of puts you bigger on the map in terms of like the, I mean, how many people watched that? It was, I don't know the numbers, but you know, when it came out, we were trending next to making a murderer for like two or three weeks, which was insane. It was, it was an insane kind of groundswell that came out of nowhere. And yeah, it changed my life. I mean it it changed my relationship with my sister My family and I we've experienced that documentary to this day We still experience it together in that moment

We're touring and we're going to like festivals and press and I mean what a unique Experience as a family that most people never get to experience but then we still experience it today people My parents are really the stars of that thing Yeah and people come to them in airports like as if they know them and they love them and my parents are so good at being celebrities because they're just they're everyone's parents though my dad's facebook status is uh actor now they're both very much in they're hilarious but um you know my whole family has gotten so close as a result of

that it also really taught me what work can mean. And look, first of all, anyone who's able to find purpose in work, I think you're already in the top 99th percentile. If you're able to get any fulfillment out of it whatsoever, you're extremely lucky. You're blessed. You're extremely blessed.

That's a privilege. Most people are just trying to make a living and get by and whatever else. So I recognize that. And that movie was the first time that I really got what it meant. Not to sound cheesy, it taught me what art is, the meaning of art. Oh, it's like this thing where you can connect with people,

you can learn about yourself. And ever since I made that movie, which was also, yes, a huge moment in my career and took me to another level in a big way, probably is the reason why I even have this show on HBO Max. I now am chasing that same feeling all the time. That how do I create this piece of art that what people appreciate and enjoy and impacts people or? Well, impacting people is great. That means a lot to me when that happens. But I can't really, I can't like control how I impact people. What I know I can control is how honest something is to myself, whether it brings me closer to the people I love or closer to myself.

Those are things that I can seek from project to project. And it's basically, that's my triple bottom line approach to work. You know, like I don't just say yes to anything. I don't do everything that I want to do. And I'm one of those people that I'm genetically opportunistic, like the immigrant roots in me always feels like I need to be doing more and work harder. And I also, I like love doing everything. I get excited about literally everything. And so it's actually been really healthy for me because it's allowed me to work towards a more essentialist approach in my work. Now from the documentary, I remember, and in the last time I interviewed you, I remember

you said that you were excited about being a dad. But you were like scared and excited at the same time. You were like, I think I'm ready for this and I want to see what it's like. I was about to have a kid back then when I was there. How has that been now that you're a father and having a child? What have you learned about being a dad versus being single and in the pursuit of your career? So episode two of Pursuit of Happiness is about parenting. And like I said, I chose each episode based on the things that are most urgent to me. I don't know that there's anything more urgent than this new startup I have in my life, a wife, a child, a kid. And I'm trying to like be this adult who makes all these things great

and gives and takes all those things that family require. That episode, we go to Japan, one of the most innovative places in the world, especially in the way they parent, with my wife, because we're both really obsessed with trying to be good parents, but we're complete opposites. Personality-wise, she's very type A. She's read every book on parenting. I'm kind of all over the place and definitely not reading the books. We're both from different generations. I'm of the generation where you just kind of like try not to kill the kid and you let them be super independent. She's more of the generation where you're very hands-on.

And that's something that we really want to get right. And in trying to get it right, we butt heads. And in trying to get it right, we butt heads. And so it's a great, I think, episode for anyone who's parents and wants to have a conversation about parenting and over-parenting and how to raise a kid with grit. But I think it's ultimately an episode about marriage and how we fight and how to fight better. How do you fight better? Well, first of all, with what we just you know that's a big one for me i couples therapy is a great way to fight better i'm a big fan of couples therapy uh i've probably put 20 dudes in this country in couples therapy i'm singularly fighting toxic masculinity by

getting all my bros in in therapy i feel like my brother told me, he was like, one of the greatest things you can do in getting in a relationship fresh is start in therapy. Yes. Like even when it's great. Yes. Go to therapy when it's like in the honeymoon phase and talk things out

just so there's nothing that's resenting anything. You're not holding on to anything. You're just talking it out. One of my best friends gave me that exact advice. Really? And he said, go when it's good. And I did it. And it turned out to be such great advice. I, the, the talk that I give, I have this pretty tight five minute talk that I give dudes to get them into therapy. And it always works.

It's the closer therapy talks. Well, I mean, it's something along the lines of, uh, cause most dudes understand how businesses work and you know, you know what a board is a board of advisors right yep well I believe in having a personal advisory board something I talk about is like finding your own personal advisory board yes that's something I've been trying to build right now it's something the idea of the average of the five people around you see that's the thing that I'm working on so much right now and I'm even doing it but I'm doing it in different ways. I'm doing it really actively in terms of value. So like I'm, I'm, my wife and I talk about this, like who can be mentors to us in family?

Ooh, that's good. Who, great parents, who can be, who, who seems genuinely happy and is living the life that is worth admiring. Whereas before our mentors were successful actors, but there are people who are doing the things in the things in that old value system where it was really just about status and achievement, to be honest, and to have an adventure. But yeah, I think what I tell them is like, if you build a board for a company, because the stakes are so high and you need a place that you can go to to manage the big picture.

When you're in a board meeting, you're doing, sure, you're doing triage, but what a lot of people outside of the business world don't understand is most of the time you're actually setting expectations. It's aspirational. And the board meeting is there to track how you're doing on your goals. Aspirations are not something you really deal with in moments of triage. So you have this thing for a high stakes company. Is there anything more high stakes than your own life? For some reason, we're not taught to manage the most important business that we'll

ever be a part of, which is us, ourselves. That means put a system in place where you're spending time, you're having a board meeting for yourself once a week, once every two weeks, once every three weeks, whatever it is, where the only focus is to talk about your goals and how to improve them and track them. I like to give the analogy of a trainer in the gym. We can go to the gym, we don't need a trainer. But why do we get a trainer? Well, because you work out harder. You at least show up.

That's, to me, you know, people who don't know about therapy, they go to therapy expecting the therapist to do all this work. I love hearing people say, oh, this therapist is just a moron. He's stupid. Well, maybe. But the therapist you go see, even the worst one, you should still be there because the point is that you're supposed to be there in the gym working out. Even the worst, as long as you're there and you're trying to have a conversation with yourself just that mindfulness of itself you're getting reps yeah you put attention to the issue of the challenge yeah i'm not saying you should bounce around i think there's some therapists you're not meant to see at all some therapists are only meant to see like a relationship for like a few weeks or a few years and you move on you get different reflections from different conversations with

different people but it's a business worth managing. And if you can manage that business, I think the rest of your life is going to be in a much better place. Do you think people in therapy are in general happier than people out of therapy or vice versa? Well, that's a tough question because, you know, therapy is just a surrogate to to things that a lot of people get outside of therapy you know we were just talking about family traditionally we used to be much more dependent on each other including our elders for wisdom for therapy for therapy we talk to each other because we're in community or talk to our aunt or our uncle or brother or whatever right yeah but more independent we're alone and isolated yeah exactly and by the way that's why men need therapy more than women

okay because men isolate more book about this yeah it's crazy it's like women women like generally speaking are a little more emotionally intelligent i'm sorry guys who are listening but women that thing that we think is gossiping is actually women sharing each other's lives and point of views with each other that's their board meeting they're doing it so they have confidence and So I don't know that therapy is necessarily means that you're a happier person It is one of the tools that can be there to help you become a happier person I mean look the happiest happiest people in world, according to all the studies,

are like farmers in the middle of Indonesia. Really? You know, they're not going to therapy, but, you know, they're doing a lot of other things really well, such as just living life and living a simple life. And, you know, the American complex has everything to do with optimizing. By the way, we do an episode on this in South Korea.

Real stresses on work-life balance, that feeling that in work, we always have to be doing better and better and better. And we need more money because whenever we're not working, we're spending more money to make the most out of every minute of our non-work time, to play harder, to go to better restaurants, self-help, everything. We go so hard at every minute of our day that as a result, we're never actually satisfied with what we have. And then to counterbalance that, we need to schedule even more things like juice cleanses and meditation and therapy and yoga and TED Talks. Right, right. It's an insane cycle.

So I don't know. I think therapy is a very good idea if you don't feel like you have a confidant. What's the biggest lesson your parents have taught you in the last five years since making the documentary? Because they had an arranged marriage. What's the biggest lesson you've learned from them since you've gotten married and had a

kid? The idea of arranged marriage, these guys didn't know each other. They didn't love each other. They didn't love each other. Yeah. And I found in my marriage, I don't think it's been that different. I knew my wife. I loved her. I proposed to her. We did all the things the American way. But what I've realized is the thing that really makes any relationship work is not a feeling. A feeling might create the willingness to be there. To try. To try, yeah. But it's the willingness itself. It's the commitment. And by the way, the feeling and compatibility help your odds, but it's the commitment that, you know, lays the brick down, lays the bricks down one by one.

I think my parents are really beautiful evidence of that. They genuinely love each other. I think it comes across. You'll see it in the show. You saw it in the documentary. I told my wife recently, I just recently realized, my wife and I have only known each other for maybe seven years now. I just recently realized, my wife and I have only known each other for maybe seven years now. And, you know, our daughter's three.

We, you know, if you'd asked me three or four years ago, I would have said she's my best friend. I love her. Your wife? Yeah. Because that's what we say about our wife. That's what gets us in love and all that stuff. Proposed to her a year from the day we met. You know, I love you.

What would you say now? Well, now I would say that it's not that easy. Love is actually something you create together over a long period of time. There's, there's chemistry and all that other stuff, but really I only, this is what I said to my wife. I'm now realizing that I didn't necessarily love you and you definitely weren't my best friend because I know what it feels like now to love you. I genuinely think you're my best friend. And I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we had a couple of years in there that were really hard and really dark and at times hopeless. Yeah. But we made it through together. And when you're able to accomplish something together.

That hard. And especially despite the other person. Do you see what I'm saying? When you don't like them during certain periods of time. But when you're able. The thing that kept us together was the idea of us in the future. And that was. Wow. If you didn't have a kid, do you think you'd be still together? I hope so. I don't know though. I mean, I think a kid helps you. I mean, you know, a kid going

back to the business analogy, I mean, that's your product. That is, you know know that's our one skew and what it ends up doing what because it's the one thing it exposes very quickly every crack in the windshield, every inefficiency comes to a head. You very quickly have to dig in and figure out who you are. And I'm actually really grateful for my business experience because it is really like digging in and there's first years of a startup. You just have to be like, well, it's not different from what you've started here from sports a lot of times you have to put aside the part of your brain That's telling you yo, this is a bad idea and you're not gonna make it What you need to do and this is where your ego serves you. Yeah, your ego is the one that says don't listen to them We can do this

So why do you think some marriages fight less than other marriages bro i'm not an expert on this why why do you think is it is it compatibility is it chemistry is it connection is it a differences of ego like people are just more empathetic and therefore they don't get into fights people let down their principles and say okay okay, you can have whatever you want. I mean, look, I don't know, uh, because I'm only in my marriage and I'm definitely not an expert on this stuff, but if I had to guess, I think relationships all have

a finite runway and some of them are not meant to go on forever. They might only be a year, five years, seven years, and then dissolve. Literally every facet of the world and humanity has a shelf life, has a utility. has a utility. When did we decide that that doesn't apply to love? It's just a bullshit American ideal

that has been perpetuated by romance novels and movies. And there's another thing that's also perpetuated by those things is that this idea of love is the only thing

that matters in a relationship. Love, like I said, is more the side effect of the work. And in America, I think we're really, we put way too much emphasis on love. I mean, I feel like a lot of people, all they care about is love and feeling and lust. They don't feel it. They're quick to jump out as well, right? Yeah. Whereas in India... Yeah. It's like, oh, you're not having sex. You feel like it's over. No, of course You do you stop having sex because you stopped having sex?

Like have you ever had sex with someone this long before no, of course Yeah, I get it. You're used to only having fun in the first two weeks of having sex with someone because it's awesome then Yes, right we get that Well, what you haven't tried to do is have fun having sex in the second year or the third year or the fourth year. 20th year. And that's an art form that I have not yet figured out. But I believe that a decline in romance or lust or the things that were there

at the beginning of the relationship, those aren't indicators that you need to get out. Those are just things that you need to get out. Those are just things that you need to cultivate and grow just like every other part of your life. Yeah. What have you learned from your parents about that? They've been together for how long now? 30, 40 years? 30, 40 years, somewhere in there. Yeah. What have you learned from them about how they've been able to stay together and create love, cultivate love, even when they may be tired of someone's doing something or bored or whatever?

My parents had instilled in them the idea that there is a higher purpose in themselves. In our culture, the most important thing is community. And my parents are some of the most giving and loving people that I've ever met. And my upbringing was such that we were always forced to do good things for people constantly. Like I was, I'd go to other Indians' houses and I'm mowing their lawns, or, you know, we had random Indians from India staying with us as we tried to help them get on their feet. I like to say our house was like an immigrant halfway house

growing up. And, you know, this duty to community is something that I think says a lot more about the values that really matter in life. I don't know if you've listened to the first episode of Michelle Obama's podcast. Yeah, that's right. Okay, so her and Barack had that conversation. At the end, they're asking like, what's the one thing we wish we could teach to everyone? And one of them said, I wish we could teach that the cleanest path to happiness is giving. That it really makes you happy,

and it makes you happier than anything else. And that's what my parents have that I got to learn firsthand. I interviewed Dr. Lori Santos. She's got a podcast called The Happiness Lab, I believe it's called. And she's like the happiness researcher at Yale, professor there.

And two of the top four things that bring the most happiness that is scientifically proven now and studied is giving and gratitude. Two of the top four things. It's such a simple concept, but a lot of us are chasing other things to find happiness, right?

What's the thing that people chase the most in your show that you discovered in the pursuit of happiness that they were chasing that they realized wasn't bringing them joy? And what's the thing from all the places you went to that everyone could agree on that made them feel happy? The thing that we all chase, you know, the wrong thing that we chase is the wrong thing. And there's lots of wrong things. You know, we have a tendency

to not understand what's really important. Like if you've read that book essentialism, that's literally what that's a you know Know what matters and to know what matters you have to equally understand what doesn't matter. Yeah, are you gonna read that book? I read parts of it. Yeah, but I need to read more Well, like most books you only need to read the first 50 pages Why are books? Why are these books so long? People just make 20 page books. I know. They can charge the same amount of money. But I got to go through this bullshit where I read, and then every time I'm like, well, I figured this out in the first 50 pages.

Right. He could have taken an essentialist approach to the book. And that would have been impressive. Publishers don't want to accept that though. Is that what it is? It's a publishing situation? They need a certain amount of word count. Yeah.

We need to start a publishing company. There you go. Short books only. Short books. There you go. And the thing that unites everyone is really a feeling of oneness a feeling of belonging community but it's funny that in america we leave at a certain age we go on our own we're independent why is that such a um a thing for us but it's different than your culture why do you think that is in American culture?

Well, this country was founded on being the new guy and the youthful, progressive, evolving. Anarchist. Anarchist almost. So that's where the individuality thing comes from. In fact, the episode in Denmark that we did for Pursuit of Happiness, I went with my Muslim friend and- It was supposed to be the happiest country except with immigrants, right?

Exactly. And that was fascinating because I'd only heard of Denmark as like the happiest place in the world. But I think one of the reasons why it's so happy is because it's so homogenous. It's pretty much happy if you're white. But if you're not, it's kind of difficult. And the reason why we even did that episode is I'm like, oh, this is really American. And this is what we're going through. It's actually something that's happening all around the world right now. It made me realize that one of the reasons

why we're going through this moment in our country is because we are so diverse. We do champion individuality in an awesome way. And we're fortunate enough where the underrepresented communities actually are getting enough voice where they can raise a ruckus. That's a good thing. Because in other countries in the world, they can't. They have no voice. In Denmark, they have no voice, it sounds other countries in the world, they can't. They have no voice.

In Denmark, they have no voice, it sounds like. Yeah. No, they don't have too many people fighting for them. How many immigrants

live there, do you know? God, I don't know. I don't know and I'm sure we give that statistic in the show but I don't remember anymore. It's a much smaller amount of people there

than here. It's significantly smaller. It's like 5%, 10% range, you think? But I think the oneness thing is actually the reason why we're going through this moment in time. We don't feel like one.

We're not one. People here don't feel like they're part of one family. Even in the way that we talk to each other, you know, could there be anything more divisive than the election we're in, where the main message from both parties is vote for me because the other party is wrong is evil no evil this is like star wars okay it's not like a conversation about ideologies and policy it's literally that other that other team is evil and we're we need to defeat the almighty yes um that's not how you create a a dialogue within family. You know, to go back to my sister or my parents, if you really want to do it well, you have to do it with empathy and with love, despite these principles. And that's really hard. Gosh, so hard.

I mean, when the stakes are so high, I mean, again, bring it back to the election. I mean, I have such a tough time not getting furious. And I want to take it out on these people that I blame for putting us in this position. And then I remember I'm from North Carolina and I have so many friends that are Republican that are some of the most loving, wonderful people I've ever met. Right. Intensely loyal. In fact, intense loyalty, I think, is the reason why. It's interesting. I've been having these conversations with some of my team members and we just hit our thousandth episode. Thank you. And I'm thinking of the next thousand episodes of like, how can I truly make a bigger impact with my community?

I'm always willing to go on any platform and share a message, whether it's, you know, more conservative, more liberal. You have to be willing to have a conversation with people that don't agree and try to draw them back in and give them some candy to get them drawn back in for the vegetables, right? Yeah. And wouldn't that help us have a better conversation to open a dialogue? Yeah, it's absolutely a good way. But I feel like so many people are like, you can't put these people on your platform because then you're endorsing them and it makes you bad. You're giving them a platform, yeah.

Which is tricky. We need to be able to open up and have a conversation with people that we don't agree with in a calm, loving way, don't we? I agree. with people that we don't agree with in a calm, loving way, don't we? I agree. I think if the person that you're having the conversation with represents a viewpoint that a lot of people have, then I think you're not giving them a platform. You're actually giving your audience a point of access.

The idea of cancel culture or just anytime anyone only is willing to listen to their own opinions. This is why people hate on, a lot of liberals hate on Joe Rogan because he talks to anyone. Everyone. Generally, he says what he feels. People should be allowed to disagree. People should be allowed to be wrong.

People should be allowed to be stupid. People should be allowed to make mistakes. And that's how we learn and we progress together. But the idea of, I'll speak just for liberals, because I am, I am liberal, at least socially. There is nothing more anti-liberal than not having an open, inclusive conversation. That's a powerful statement right there. Yeah. And I would argue. Why are so many liberals like no like conservatism i get because that's premise literally the word conservative conservative is in there the whole

premise of that party is the is tribalism at its max the thing that matters most is stick with everything we have and we hang on to it and everyone protected that's that philosophy okay the idea of liberalism is premised more on uh well let's call it progressivism that word progress isn't it it's about evolving it's about a change changing you can't change and evolve if the only person you're listening to is yourself yourself with the same opinions yeah that's why i have different people from religious backgrounds spiritual backgrounds different scientific backgrounds nutrition background i'm like anyone who gets pissed at you for having a conversation with someone who disagrees with you, I think that person themselves is probably a hypocrite.

Interesting. And maybe that's the person that needs to lose weight. As long as you do it in a way that's thoughtful and respectful, I think more good than bad can come out of it. You're very connected in the Hollywood scene. You have a lot of friends who are big actors and producers and directors. Do you have any friends who have been, like, canceled during this climate that you're close with? I actually don't have a lot. I know a lot of people in that world, but I actually have very few famous friends. I don't care for them.

Gotcha. You know what it is, man? I have this, like, I think I have this complex with power and popularity that's probably rooted in my younger years. And I find narcissism, anything involving like status and power. I find all those things so off-putting and they also kind of trigger me. So I have a tough time in general interacting with people like that, even if they're doing nothing wrong.

But then a lot of these people have walls up around them, rightfully so because they're famous. I just like normal people. Most of my friends are really- And just smart, good people that are- Yeah, that's why we're leaving LA. I wanna be around more normal people.

When are you leaving? We're talking about moving at the end of this year. That's another thing that came out of this show. Wow. So in the show, we did the episode on work-life balance. We did the episode on marriage, during which we went to these farmers who were living the simple life that we've talked about doing. We did an episode with my parents about retirement and being closer to my parents.

And in Denmark, we realized that we want to be closer to the people whose views we oppose rather than away from them. A culmination of that is we're going to move east to be closer to my parents, to live in a place that's more politically and intellectually diverse and we're gonna live and we're gonna reduce our overhead by 50% and live a much simpler life. Yeah, we already have taxes. And we're gonna live somewhere where people don't really know what everyone does for work and they don't care. Wow, wait a minute. Do you know where you're going yet? We're looking at Nashville and Raleigh-Durham Chapel Hill. Wow.

So we're gonna go do a test drive. Wow. At the end of this year. My sister's in Charlotte, she loves it there. Well, I'm from Charlotte. Oh, wow. So we probably won't move to Charlotte. My wife's from Atlanta,

but we wanna live close enough to the grandparents. And so- Where do they live, Charlotte? Well, mine are in Charlotte, hers are in Atlanta oh well gotcha and so we want to be close enough like three four hours in between

yeah yeah but that's why we're doing it I kind of feel like maybe it's a better transition yeah

to live somewhere I also I do need to be able to get on a plane easily I hear you yeah to come to LA

to go to New York just for work right interesting so you are moving that's the plan it's 75 we're going to the East Coast for

like three or four months. To test it out. And we're going to test drive places. Wow. And if I had to bet, I would say that we're going to move after that. And the way we're doing it is, look, if we come back to LA, it'll just have been a great adventure. Yeah. You know, look, I'm sure you've had these conversations. Wanting to do the perfect next move, whether it's in career or other facets of your life, it's paralyzing. And it keeps people from doing. It's the best part of that first book that Tim wrote, Four Hour Work Week. That's the best part of that book is where he talks about how the need to feel good about

the next move is the thing that keeps people from ever making that move. Just go do it. Or just go move. Yeah. In this case, literally, we're moving. I like do it. Or just go move. Yeah. In this case, literally, we're moving. I like the idea. I mean, Nashville's cool. Durham, I think those would be great places. Yeah. That's fascinating, man. Wow. So what if, I mean, a job brings you back here, then you just move back here, I guess, huh? Yeah. But I'm also trying to figure out a life where I don't need to

be here or New York as much. I'm doing so much stuff just in terms of writing, directing, producing, stuff that doesn't require me to be here as much. My acting career is going great, but I don't get as much fulfillment from that. The main thing I get, not that it isn't fun sometimes, but I don't get the creative fulfillment out of acting that I do out of- Creating. Yeah, exactly. But I need to keep doing it because it actually opens The door, right. All the doors to these other things.

The relevancy, isn't that interesting? What is the, I mean, what's your thoughts on becoming a celebrity and becoming a, I feel like in order, if you have an idea, if you have a product, a business, you need to have someone become a celebrity to get attention otherwise, you're driven by Buying media spending money on advertising to get attention, right? There's two ways organic

Eyeballs or paid eyeballs. Yeah, if you have a project an idea or something. Yeah, what's your thoughts on? Becoming a celebrity the celebrity world? Well, I think about that a decent amount because it's something that I've always been extremely uncomfortable with. Up until a few days ago, my Instagram account was private. Really? And yeah. And against the advice of everyone in my sphere for years, because for me, I was like, you know what? Like, I don't like the fame part of it. I understand why that's an important part of the business and how it can help my career.

But I also feel like if I make good things, the cream will rise to the top. And maybe I can at least avoid that part of my life for a period of time. Because at least that way, I'm not sitting there thinking, oh, I should post this or I should write that. And it'll be another business to manage. But now it's like I have three shows coming out

in the next four months. You know, I have so many things happening and I kind of need to have, because they're so personal, I need to have a way to engage and I'm doing press. I don't know how I feel about it. By the way, anyone who's listening to this, please follow me because I literally only have like

15,000 followers. How many followers do you have? I don't know, something. A lot. I think also- By the way, anyone who's listening to this, please follow me because I literally only have like 15,000 followers. How many followers do you have? I don't know, something. A lot. A million something, yeah, yeah. Can I have some of them? How do I get those? Sure, yeah, just go follow.

Can you teach me how to get followers? Go follow. What is that? Is that what it does? Is that what I do? I follow them, they follow me back? No, no, I'm telling them to follow you. My audience.

Follow me. Show me the rubby. Show me the rubby. Yeah, keep low expectations. I post once a month and it's usually just my daughter and my wife. Well, here's the thing. Something you said that I might push back on is I heard you say, I want to create great things and great stuff will rise to the top. The challenge is, my brother said this, he's the number one jazz violinist in the world. And he

said this early on to me. He said, I know so many great musicians out there that sit at home and make great work and they expect people to discover them. You need to be just as good at marketing your talent as you are at making the talent become better. And, you know, if you find an agent who discovers you somehow

and they do it for you, then that's great. But most of us don't have that. Well, you're really good at it. You've done it in such a beautiful way. By the way, I just want you to know, I'm so proud of you and the fact that you've gotten this far

and I've seen it grow firsthand. And I think the product is excellent. I think what you do is authentic. I think you're so good at this. And you have such a great combination of confidence and you're humble. And I think people really see that. Like you have an ego-less, truly a search in earnest.

And I think that's what's attractive about what you're doing. So I'm so proud of you. And you're also really good. Like your social content is really good. It's all inspirational. It's the right size. It looks well. It's exactly what I would want.

In fact, what we should talk about is you doing this stuff for me. That would be amazing. That would be amazing. Well, my team, I got a great team. They're all doing it. We might have to figure out. Exactly. You might have to do it.

You know, I think for me, I'm happy to do it. I've just been uncomfortable with it for whatever reason. I also now feel this pressure. Like, I made my profile public. The best pose you did, it must have been a couple months ago. It was the, just, can you guess what photo it is that you did that i'm thinking of i have no idea you did a photo of you shirtless oh yeah talking about uh males like it was like yeah yeah dude he was looking ripped in that photo yeah and i was

looking chubby huh that was funny like now one thing i'm really insecure about is i made my profile public and i have like no followers So I'm like worried people are gonna look at it and be like, oh, I guess I was wrong about Like he's not as successful as we thought Like I don't know I'm like do I want to like get a bunch of followers really quickly What's the pressure of being relevant and staying relevant in the celebrity world? I have no pressure. That's the thing I'm not motivated by that and i wish i were a little more because i think it would be really good for my career but i don't know i don't i'm trying to figure out i'm still in the early stages of it but i think the fame thing is

inevitable for me at this point and so i'm what i'm trying to figure out is how can I do it in a way that's authentic to me and in a way that is hopefully additive to others. Yeah, yeah. And so I don't know what that answer is yet. Well, I'm curious. What's your best advice since you have experienced fame? And what's your advice? You're the one who knows. You know this way better than me.

Well, you're on sets with celebrities. You're on sets with actors. You're experiencing this with people a lot right i'm curious what's the best advice for that you have for someone who might rise into fame quickly uh who isn't famous but they might become famous for whatever reason they put out i would certainly have no idea what that's like they put a book out they do a documentary and all of a sudden they get attention. Sure. What's the best advice for managing fame that you would have, based on what you've experienced and what you've seen other people do right and wrong? Yeah.

See, I don't really have an answer to this. It's something I've discussed quite a bit. I'll tell you. I'll tell you the advice I gave my dad. When he became famous. When he became famous. And he was accustomed to everyone asking him about the documentary everywhere he went, every party, even with his friends, even at home, talking about the documentary so much. And then an obsession with posting about it or looking it up.

came out of a loving an excitement and enthusiasm that I can't believe that this is like my my kids are and and that my kids have achieved this like this guy like my his dad had to borrow money from the village to send him to America who would have thought this would have been the next chapter in his life like and his kids he's just so proud and and and what I told my dad was I was like look what I've learned is when you have fame or you even have a big personality of which my dad and I and my mom and my sister we have both we're loud we're gregarious and we have some people like to talk about us when we're in the room right and what happens is everyone's trying to talk about you. You're the most, in their eyes, the most interesting person. And what happens is you get

used to that, you play into it, and a couple things happen as a result of that. You start to expect to talk about yourself. And two, you're inadvertently taking away attention from the other people there. And so I think the more that you get fame, I think the more you have to work. You still want to be honest. I don't care for, I don't agree with the philosophy that a lot of famous people have, which is like downplay enthusiasm for what they're doing or shut off and don't talk about themselves at all. I just think give an honest, thoughtful answer. Be genuinely grateful when you get compliments. But also, you do have to work a little harder than most people to elevate the other people

in the conversation. How can you make them just as interesting to you as you are to them? Yeah. Something I learned early on, I was really scared to talk to people. Like in my teens and twenties, I didn't feel comfortable like going up to strangers and talking to them until I created a challenge for myself one summer where I was going to go up to people. Like originally it was girls when I was a teenager, I was scared to talk to girls. And so I created a challenge one summer to go up and talk to every girl that I had like goosebumps around. I wish I was you growing up.

This is so smart. It's the most challenging thing, but it got me over the fear of rejection early on and the fear of like girls like laughing at me or whatever. And at the end of the summer, I could talk to any girl all the time, like just to have a conversation, not trying to hit on girls or whatever, but just like to feel like I could go up to any group of girls and just say hi. And as a social experiment, it's the greatest thing. Were you finding success were there, were there opt-ins during this process? Yeah. I mean, I got out to any phone numbers, all those things. You realize opt-ins within with women are not dissimilar from opt-ins

in social media. You just need volume and That's it. And a certain percentage. It's a numbers game. Yeah. I'll tell you what. I had no opt-ins, but I wasn't putting anything out there. Right. I was a 0% batter, and I was never at the plate. Right. Yeah.

So I did that. And I was going to say there, what were we just talking about before that? I was like going with this. Guys, what were we talking about? Oh, here's what I was gonna say got it something i learned early on when i was learning how to just communicate with other people learning how to introduce myself learning how to be at a party events like just learning these things i learned that the most interesting person in the room is the most interested person in the room and so i didn't

need to i didn't need to, when I was meeting girls, when I was out networking and business world for my first time, at first I felt like I needed to be interesting and be like, this is who I am. And look at me, I'm like a magician of like whatever and dazzle people. And then I realized I just have to listen and ask great questions. And I learned this when I was 16 and then did it in my 20s when I was in the business world and when I started to listen and just be so interested in the other person they would always be like man that Lewis guy is the most interesting person here and I would never say anything I didn't have to like they didn't even know who I was they didn't know my background my

success my failure nothing but they knew that I was curious about them. When we lean into curiosity about other people, we become automatically more interesting to them. And that's why I think if you have fame or credibility or celebrity in an industry or in the world, when you turn it back on someone else, if you're gracious and humble, like you said, and just like, thank you, I'm really excited about this thing,

but also just asking other people questions, they're going to be like, wow, that was pretty cool. I love that. I mean, my struggle growing up was taking up too much attention. Really? Before the fame stuff, like taking up too much space. And it was something that I recognized, And it was something that I recognized at some point in college. I was so focused on everything out here. And I remember one spring break in college, all my best friends went to spring break without me. And I found out about it a week beforehand. No. And I was crushed.

And you still remember it today. I actually didn't even remember it until a couple years ago. It kind of came up and I was like, oh, I like had suppressed that memory. That was one of the most scarring experiences of my life. But I look back and I think, oh, well that's because whenever I went somewhere with them, when like, if we walked into a bar, I was the guy that knew everyone

and I would be hanging out with everyone and I wouldn't hang out with my actual friends when I was there. I was so outwardly focused and focused on attention. Being the most liked guy in the room. Yes, yes. And I'm so grateful that that happened because I think that was a really big turning point for me of starting to focus on the people that are my people, number one. people. That's number one. And by the way, that talk about an incredible tool to have coming into a place like Hollywood where there's all this other noise, know who you love and know whose

opinion really matters. But, but, but it was also the beginning of me practicing being interested. Wow. That's such, I love, by the way, that should be the social media thing for this. The interested thing that you said. That's it. That's it. There you go. They got the clip. They got the clip. Got the clip. I want to ask you a couple of final questions, but the show is out right now. It's called

The Pursuit of Happiness. It's on HBO Max. That's right. How many series is it? Four episodes. Four episodes. They can watch all four right now.

Yep. Okay. So you can check it out. I guess HBO Max is online on TV and any subscription that you have for HBO Max. Yeah.

They can follow you on social media. Show me the Ruvvy. Show me the Ruvvy. Now, if everyone here follows me. It'll explode. I just need to get, I'm at 15,000. If I can get to 16,000. These 10 can be happy.

Oh, what is this spike? Do people go on podcasts and beg for followers? Is that a thirsty thing? You're the first one to do it. I'm the thirstiest guest we've ever had. It's this spike. Do people go on podcasts and beg for followers? Is that a thirsty thing? You're the first one to do it. I'm the thirstiest guest we've ever had. It's all good. If they love you, they'll follow you. Or they'll think, this guy's thirsty.

He's thirsty. I find him quite off-putting. It's all good. It's all good. As long as you have value to follow. So as long as you're funny, entertaining, or interesting, they'll follow you. I want to ask you this. Last time you were on.

You know what, by the way? If they follow me, what I would like to hear is when you start following me, you tell me if there's something I can improve. I will be down with that. I like that. And I'm into it. Say, Rubby, this content blows. Do X. Do this.

Do Y. You guys. I like that. That would be of great service. Because I bet all your listeners are very much like you. They love giving feedback and telling me when I'm right or wrong all the time, so it's all good. Oh great, that's what I want. I love being told when I'm right or wrong.

You know who loves doing that to me? My wife. And your kids. Just the wrong part, but yeah. Isn't that interesting? That's the next topic. We'll do that in the next episode. It's not interesting, it's exhausting.

Excited about that. She's getting pissed at me. I'm like, I'm interested, I'm interested, I'm interested. I have empathy. Yeah, I have empathy. I hear your side. I'm interested. I'm the most interesting person because I'm excited about that. She's getting pissed at me. I'm like, I'm interested, I'm interested, I'm interested. I have empathy. I have empathy, I'm interested. I'm the most interesting person because I'm interested. She's like, you suck. I'm like, all right.

I asked you this last time. I'm curious what your response is here. I asked you about your three truths. I love your famous question where if it was the last day of your life and you've created everything you want in your dreams, but you've got to take it all with you to the next place. But you get to leave behind three things you know

to be true that you would share with the world, three lessons you would share with the world. I have yours here from before. You probably don't remember them. Don't tell them to me yet. But I'm curious. Do you wanna hear them first? No, I wanna hear what you say.

First, okay. You share three truths. Laugh as much as you can. Be interested. So you just gave me one of my, you see what I'm saying? Have a great day. God, that sounds cheesy. Is there a more eloquent way to say that?

Well, I'll show you what you said before. The more love you give, the more you feel, the happier you are. Okay, I like that one. Keep going, keep going. You said family above everything. That's another great one. You said focus on what you have, forgive and let go of the stuff you don't have. And I think this is like four things.

You will only do as well as the work you put in. So those were your three and a half truth. Well, let's be honest. Those are great. Those are great. Yeah. So one could argue that listening to this episode

was a waste of everyone's time because I've actually devolved. Or just like your book theory, they just have to listen in the last couple of minutes to get the whole episode. This should be your shortest episode. Just do it in 10 minutes.

Oh, I would love that. It's like a Flinkist. Guys, I'd like to welcome you to our first 10-minute episode. The best of. I appreciate it, man. People can follow you online. They can check out the show. It's always fun to have you on, man.

I appreciate it. Dude, thanks for the love, man. And thanks for always, you always get back to me right away and you just show me so much love and support. I can't thank you enough. I'm serious. I know you do. And I appreciate it back at you. Of course, man. Thanks for that. Thank you so, so much for listening to this episode. Make sure to share it with a friend you think might enjoy it. Go ahead and just copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this on Apple or Spotify or anywhere else. Or just use lewishouse.com slash 1009 and share that link out with a friend you think might be inspired to hear Robbie's story and message. And also click that subscribe button over on Apple podcast right now if you are a fan

of the show, and you want to help see us reach more people and inspire the world. All you got to do is click subscribe and listen and share with a friend and you can impact people's lives as well by doing so. And if you want inspirational messages from me every single week, I'll shoot you a text with some of my favorite inspiring messages. Just text the word podcast to 614-350-3960. And I want to close with a quote from Andrew Carnegie, who said, If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes. And if you haven't been reminded any time lately, you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter, my friend.

I'm so grateful for you. You are an incredible gift in this world. And don't forget to continue on your happiness journey every single day. You deserve love and you deserve happiness. Sometimes you got to go make it happen for yourself. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.