The School of Greatness - 1021 How to Connect with Presidents, Royalty & World-Class Celebrities w/Terrence J

Episode Date: October 18, 2020

“Be specific to who you are and don’t worry about trying to please everybody. You’re not going to be able to please everybody!”On today's podcast, Lewis sits down with three-time Emmy nominee, actor, host, producer, entrepreneur, and philanthropist Terrence J. They dissect Terrence's upbringing, and early career as well as how to create opportunity for yourself, build instant connections with anyone you meet, sustain a Success Mindset throughout your life and so much more!For more, go to: www.lewishowes.com/1021Check out BeWoke.VoteDaymond John on How to Close any Deal and Achieve Any Outcome: https://link.chtbl.com/928-podSara Blakely on Writing Your Billion Dollar Story: https://link.chtbl.com/893-pod

Who's the person you've always wanted to have a conversation with that you haven't had yet or you haven't met yet? Man, let me come back to that. That's a good one. I don't get stumped too much. I'll tell you who I'm afraid of for whatever reason. Jay-Z. I'm even better around Beyonce. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Entrepreneur Wessam Fazi once said, seek connection, not attention. It lasts longer.

And journalist Herbert Bernard Swope said, I can't give you a surefire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure. Try to please everybody all the time. I'm so excited about our guest today. He is someone who truly understands the hustle and grind that it takes to build an empire from the ground up. Three-time Emmy nominee, Terrence J is an actor, host, producer, entrepreneur, and philanthropist who started his career on the radio at just 16 years old. Throughout his extensive career, Terrence has hosted a wide range of live shows from the VMAs and BET Award pre-shows to the Grammys, Golden Globes, and the Oscars.

And I loved having Terrence in the studio to share his extensive knowledge on breaking into the industry, making high-profile connections, and reflecting on his journey to success. Now, this person literally knows everyone, I feel like, in the world. Anyone who's an influencer, celebrity, or decision maker, he knows them. In this episode, we talk about his top three mentors and the lessons they taught him, how to build deep, meaningful relationships and career opportunities as an introvert, why you should stop being a people pleaser and what he learned from this the hard way, the secrets to creating an instant connection with anyone you meet. This will be powerful for so many people who learn this, the tools for creating and sustaining a success mindset throughout your life, and so much more.

This will move you and inspire you. And if it does, make sure to share this with someone who needs to hear it. Just copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this right now, or use lewishouse.com slash 1021 and text a friend or post it on social media. And make sure to tag myself and Terrence J. as well so he knows that you're listening to this. And a quick reminder, click that subscribe button over on the School of Greatness on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and leave us a rating and review while you're listening to this episode. Okay, after a quick message, while you're listening to this episode. Okay. After a quick message, the one and only Terrence J.

Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness podcast. Very excited about our guest, Terrence J in the house. My man. My man. Good to see you, brother. Good to be here. This is incredible. Your build out is incredible.

Thanks, man. I'm having fun. I'm trying to be like you. You are doing everything. You're doing producing, acting, hosting, now the head of talent, and all these different things that you're doing right now. And you've been kind of in mainstream culture for the last, I guess, 15, 20 years now. Wow. It seems like you know everyone.

Yeah. It's like you know Obama, or at least you've been in rooms with Obama and Michelle and Barack. You know Beyonce and Jay-Z and Kevin Hart, your buddies with. You just know everyone. Yeah. That's amazing. That's why I was so excited to get the invite. I wanted to get to know you.

I see you always pop over my feed. Really? You pop over my feed a lot. You must have a deal with Instagram. That's good. You always pop up and I'm always, you catching just a quote yeah awful awful your show that just gets me through the day for sure I'm excited to sit down and talk with you man something that's interesting I feel like we're we have a lot of

similarities in that you are in a master and networker and building relationships I feel like I've done a good job in my industry of building relationships coming from nothing just a kid from Ohio that wasn't in this industry yes yeah and just kind of like adding value one person at a time and building something from nothing and that's something that you've done as well you just okay let me go put myself out there and get this one gig and then build a relationship and get another gig how do you feel like you've been able to master the art of relationships over the years with coming from, you know, really not much? You know, Will Smith has this video. It's super famous online.

And he talks about. For treadmill? Yes, the treadmill. So good, man. It's so good. And, you know, I mean, how old is that video? 10, 15 years? At least.

And, you know, he talks about building that wall and every day just laying down that brick and what I realize is that every time I walk into a room and I have a conversation with a person you know life is not linear it might not be the next day I'm gonna get a phone call that that was something that led to my next level of success but it can be two three years down the line it can be two three months and the dots will just connect or that person will speak about you to this person that may bring you in for this and so I just try to live my life knowing that every time I walk out of my door every single person is in my

life for a reason and nothing is to be taken for granted and And, and I just know that, you know, the, the, the achievements that I want to have are going to come from the people that I associate with. And so, uh, Damon John told me, uh, a year ago, he was like, your most important asset is your Rolodex. And so I just try to utilize that in the best way I can. How do you, I a hundred percent agree with that. And I think my relationships have been what got me where I'm at. How do you stay on top of connecting with people when you've got thousands in your Rolodex and probably hundreds that you're close to on a certain level and then dozens that you're very close with at different stages of your life and season of your life? How do you

constantly stay in touch over text and email and phone and meeting in person? I am horrible at it. Horrible at it. You know, our primary function of communication is text messaging and there's no organization of text, right? So on emails, I can put things into buckets and know, you know, all of my film stuff goes here, television things go here, all of my, you know, production stuff goes here television things go here all of my you know production stuff goes here and can organize myself based on it but with text messages if you get behind in two days you can get really you know lost so I try you know at least once a month to like go through all of my texts. Um, and then another thing that helps me

get through is I'm always doing something right. And Instagram and social media has really helped me stay on top of my connections. So even if you hit me to check on me and I forgot about it, if I have another event coming up or a photo shoot or a party that I want to invite you to, another event coming up or a photo shoot or a party that I want to invite you to I'll go down my Instagram and just invite every single person I know and so that'll kind of keep me in the loop with people that I might not have contacted along in a long time so I'm just always staying on top of people so social media has helped me with that tremendously because I'm horrible at it or you said damn and John is a mentor of yours.

He's a buddy of mine as well. He's been on the show a few times, good guy. Who would you say are the three biggest mentors you've had in the last year? Because you've gone through different stages of your career over the last two decades, but in the last year, a lot has happened in your life, professionally, personally, obviously COVID, the worldwide wise worldwide wise who you lean on

three people and I know it's hard to probably pick three but who's really helped you in this season of your life um Damon's really been but we've already said mention have ya three we know Jamie Lena Waithe is incredible she reached out to me when I was at a really low point in my life. And it was crazy because I didn't know her. And she reached out when I was going through some, you know, when you wake up one day and it's bad press and you're like, oh man, the world is over. And she just contacted me out of the blue. And we've kind of built a relationship over the past two years. And so even though we're similar in age, he's kind of served as a mentor to me.

Kevin Hart just continues to motivate and inspire me in so many ways. You guys have done a lot of projects together, right? You've done movies and TV. Yep, we've done a ton of things together with Kevin and Will Packer. They're great. But Kevin, my was was this April it

was a couple of months ago and I had him on IG live and I was like man I got to get a gym like yours and Kevin surprised me by building a gym in my garage no he did not yes he built it did boss come out and build it for you came out and he did the whole thing you know boss has all this energy and he's like we're gonna do and he built the whole he put the floors in and the whole thing wow and it it motivates so now i'm in the gym every day like i'm i'm i'm healthier than i've ever been and i'm now using this to to build somebody else a gym because i'm like kevin had no business building me a gym i should have did did it on my own. So now I got to pay it forward for him.

But acts of kindness like that. Kevin just, it just, it amazes me at Kevin's level of success. His level of connectivity and retention for things. He'll remember something we talked about six years ago. Really? And be like, yo, you didn't do this idea we talked about. Like, what are you doing? And so Kevin's really good at that.

So I'll say Kevin. I'll say kevin i'll say lena and then um you know you know i'll say my parents who i didn't you i've always been close with them but more in a peripheral capacity and i've really taken this time over covid to push myself to talk to them every day so so um just shot a movie with Dion Taylor, but prior to that, I was speaking with them every single day. We were either texting or doing photos or something to each other. And now I try to, every other day, every two days, I try to talk to them. And just having that level of communication has really inspired me as well. You were raised by a single mom, right? Or did you have a step step dad? My stepdad came into the picture when I was like three, four years old. Gotcha. Your mom had you

when she was 17? Yeah. Yeah. She had me at a really young age. And you'd never met your father. Is he, is he alive today? Do you know, is he? I don't know, um, at all for years. It was, uh, it was just a touchy spot. And I, I had always, there was a certain point where I felt like, oh, man, I don't want to reach out to this guy because he wasn't there for my mom and he wasn't there for me. Why care about him? Exactly. Then there was a certain time where I was like, oh, well, now if I reach out to him, he's going to want something. Oh, well, now if I reach out to him, he's going to want something. Right. And and now I'm at a place I'm at a different place of of of maturity and understanding. And I hope he's alive. I would now talk to him and communicate with him, because I think now at this stage of manhood, like I wonder what the perspective of having me was like for him.

Meaning I know my mom's version of this story and I know my rendition of how my life went. But I'm sure him having me, I don't know any of what he was thinking. So I would love to hear that. And then also, you know, as we get older, I'm wondering what health wise is gonna be wrong with me do I have other siblings so yeah so now I am starting to think about those things and hopefully it's not too late huh do you know how you can get in contact with him or where you're doing start no um I mean I have resources I could I could figure it out it's just gonna be one day'll wake up and actually do it.

Today's not that day. But, yeah, one day I'll wake up and do it. Well, you wrote a book about the wisdom from your mom, kind of lessons from your mom that she brought to you. What was the main lesson she taught you that really has stuck with you your entire life? To never give up. To never, ever give up. My mom, you know, got pregnant with me at 17, had me at a young age. A lot of people, you know, could have called it quits. But she, you know, she strapped me to her back and moved us from New York down to North Carolina and, you know, worked multiple jobs with my stepdad and raised me. And then, you know, she ended up going back to school and, you know, achieving her dreams. And they built their own house.

And so I'm very proud of her. And she just would always tell me, like, you know, whatever it is, just don't give up. And that's just always been my mentality is just, you know, whatever. There's nothing that's unachievable in life besides me making the NBA. Besides that. You like to hoop a lot, don't you?achievable in life besides me making the NBA. Besides that. You like to hoop a lot, don't you? Yeah, yeah. I'm not any good anymore.

We'll have to play sometime. I love to hoop. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know. You're a big guy. I know. I'm a big guy.

You're a big guy. You're a big guy. I don't know how I'm going to do out there. I'm curious. What is the lesson your dad taught you in his absence? The greatest lesson he's taught you, even though you've never met with him Has he ever seen you that it was he there as your when you were born in the first few weeks or was he around? my mom tells me and again these are

You know, it was always for for your entire life Something is a fact and then at a certain age you realize that they you know it's it's my mother's perception of what it was right it could still be a fact i just you know i am i am open to the possibility that things might have been different from a different perspective right she she says that when i was an infant she ran into him at a corner store, a bodega in New York City somewhere. And that she told him to buy me like some formula and some diapers so that she could always say that he gave me something. Wow. And so I do know that story.

I just don't know anything really else. And again, my mom is such a terrific mom mom and I was blessed to have an incredible stepdad and I was you know I was raised in a in a multicultural home my stepdad is Puerto Rican and and he and he looks white uh and so I was just raised with you know my mom Christian background dad Catholic background Hispanic and he could speak Spanish Spanish no I don't but I was raised around and so I was raised with all those upbringing but what lesson did my dad teach me in his absence in his in his absence is you know is that there's such an idealism that having two parents or having this perfect American dream of a family is the recipe for

success. And I think that I'm an example of having a very spliced upbringing in the 1980s in New York City. And, you know, I went to multiple high schools, multiple middle schools traveled up and down from New York to and so I I have a lot of the ingredients for a crazy person but luckily I haven't turned out too crazy yet yeah not all the way there but but you know I think you can achieve anything even if you don't have certain things in your life uh-huh now I heard somewhere that you're an introvert is that true you're like introverted I am to a certain extent introvert. Is that true? You're like introverted? I am to a certain extent. You're a certain extent?

Is that true or not? I heard that somewhere. Maybe you said that in an interview somewhere that I saw. Yeah, I have a facade of a personality that I kind of put on when I walk outside of the house. But you're outgoing and this... Yeah, but unless I'm genuinely interested, like I'm very curious about you and your business, so I'm very excited to be here

because there are certain things that, you know, will bring me out of my shell. But besides that, I'm, like, super, like, introverted. But then I throw these really big parties at my house, too, so I'm kind of, like, great guest for you as well. So it's kind of, you know. How does an introverted person build this kind of mass connection lifestyle where you're connected

to everyone, you have a big personality on screen, on interviews, things like that? How do you build deeper relationships when you kind of are more introverted? Because I think that's exhausting for a lot of introverts to be around a lot of people all the time. It's a defense mechanism. lot of people all the time it's a it's a defense mechanism and then once I was able to monetize it and socialize it and understand the value of it I was able to utilize it when I needed to and like I said I do love people and I love the core of humanity and I still believe in people. And so, so it's not always putting it on,

right? There are certain things that I love, love doing. Uh, but I can also like completely, you know, be in my house for 48 hours working on a script, not talk to anybody.

You know, my, I'm like I said earlier, I'm notoriously horrible at following up on text messages, you know, contact people. And Tiffany's over there like, yeah, you know i'm like i said earlier i'm notoriously horrible at following up on text messages you know contact people and tiffany's over there like yeah i don't know you know and so uh so you you know when when you go to so many different schools growing up and you have to switch your friendships and make new friends and all those things you kind of turn into a sociopath to a certain extent right you always got to blend in right and so you you know you develop a big classroom

personality to get yourself through and to make friends and then once I was able to transition that personality into a radio personality and on a TV personality then I was able to kind of you know function at a higher level of doing big shows and doing those things, but then coming off camera and, you know, really, you know, having two or three people in my life that I'm, like, obsessed with. Right. And then that's it. And then I'm obsessed with animals, too.

Are you? Yeah, I'm obsessed. You have dogs and cats? Yeah, yeah. Both? Just dogs. Just dogs. How many do you have?

Three now. I've got a little Pomeranian. The best. My girlfriend does. It's mine now, so. Well, you know how that isanian. The best. My girlfriend does, it's mine now. So. Well, you know how that is. We ain't hitting it. It's amazing.

He probably loves you too. She loves me. She loves me. She loves me. That's how it always is. I'm curious, what would you say is your greatest superpower and your biggest defect? Man, I guess my greatest superpower is,

I think people skills. You'd be hard-pressed to find somebody that you can dump off in any type of room and adjust accordingly. From the most influential to the everyday person and be able to connect. I can be in the White House with the Obama administration, of course. I could be in that White House and function in a presidential library with scholars and dignitaries and princes and presidents, and then I could be with TI at the Trap Museum in Atlanta, you know, rolling dice, right?

I could kinda could kind of function in in in in all those spaces yeah and your greatest defect I got too many today you're like which ex-girlfriend should I ask any one of them they have their own launch you list what do you think is the thing that's holding you back from the next level on your dreams your career dreams your life goals what's that thing it's not a defect but maybe it's just something that you see uh i need to become better at this definitely you know i i have such a macro point of view on so many things that when i like at any given time I'm working on eight different projects.

And because of that, you know, most of them will never come to light, right? I'll never get any of those eight done. I might get one out of eight done and it won't even be at my maximum capacity because I'm not great at focusing, right? I have... Me too. Yeah.

So many projects. It's so fun to have so many different things happening. You know, and then I end up, I end up working for everybody. Like right now, I work for everybody. You know, it'll be one person will call me. My good friend Kenya Barris might say, hey, you know, let's do a dinner on this weekend. Let's put a good group together.

Now I'm in, you know, Lenny Esselstyn. All your energy is on that weekend. I make sure this dinner is perfect you know I gotta make sure the guest list Mark Burnett will call me and say all right we're doing this show and then I'm like okay well and so I am so easily distracted so easily pulled in different directions and again the the problem is when when I didn't have anything when I didn't have anything, when I didn't have any money, it was a lot easier for me to focus, right?

Because I knew I had to like do something to make money. To make a dollar. Yeah. But then when you wake up and you don't have to worry as much about money, then it just becomes like, what am I going to do today?

Right? And that's a dangerous position to be in uh so that's my biggest thing is now like focusing i've kind of taken i would say like the last year off if that you know i've kind of i've taken a lot of time to just like be i i started working when i was 16 years old and went straight through. And I've been under contract. I've been under contract where there's a morality clause every day of my life since I was 16 years old. So either I was from- Meaning what? Meaning morality clause, what do you mean? Like you can't get into trouble? Yeah. Meaning I was on commercial radio at 16 years old.

I was on commercial radio all through high school. I started working for NASCAR right after I started working at I was at BET for eight years or something like that. Seven years. I was at E! News for three years. I have an MTV deal. So I mean, meaning to say, if I ever did some crazy stuff, there was always in the back of my mind, I can directly lose this pot of money. So I've always just operated like, you know. Cautiously.

I've always operated cautiously. So now that you've been free for a year, are you just like reckless and just like, now I can do everything crazy I wanna do. Yeah, kind of. I don't care what happens and this and that. Cross the board. Yeah.

Fun, fun, absolutely. That's great, man. What would you say is the main vision for your life moving forward after 21 years of doing everything and going all in on so many different projects? Do you have a main focus right now or is it still in discovery mode for the next stage the loss our collective loss of Chadwick Boseman uh has really changed my life when you're pretty close not not that close

definitely a solid rapport um but I admired him tremendously uh and I looked up to him a lot and every time we would meet each other see each other in public we'd have a conversation and he'd be like, oh man, you the man T and I'd be like, no, you are incredible and I think and I say our collective law

because he was all of our Black Panther we all lost Chadwick and to see the response after his loss, not just about his films and his work, but who he was as a person. Right. The amount of time that he spent at hospitals with kids, the amount of time that he spent giving back. And even just the mentality to not let people know that you were going through something right i'm such a big mouth that you know if something was wrong with me everybody i'm gonna have a whole tour everybody come visit me come see me

i'm hurt right i'm gonna have a whole pity but the fact that he was like so like strong to personally go through something like that right it's like his whole life is just really inspired me and so for me like I know that like if I know that if I died tomorrow like I got a I've done a lot of work right there you know I'm hoping BET would be able to have a whole day dedicated towards things that I've done right I was on this TV show I put out these movies like your work will live on right yeah but I want to I want to make a bigger impact on people I want to right all wrongs that I've done in my life any business any personal relationships any family

anything that that I've had a deficiency in or I didn't you know nurture I want to I want to spend my the biggest part of my life nurturing that I want to give back more I want to help more I want to inspire more I want to be a better person yeah because that's really that's really all it boils down to it's like you know we've lost this last year 2012 we've lost some incredible people we've lost Kobe Bryant you know I'm still missing Nipsey Hussle I'm still you know there was a young rapper who's phenomenal named pop smoke who I got to spend a lot of time with Before he passed you know in his very early 20s, and it's like

When when you look at this this has been a hard year You know yeah, and and for me more than anything. I just want to impact people in a positive way. Yeah We had Kobe on Tiffany was there when we filmed an interviewed. It was a really powerful episode and interview for me. Were you pretty close with Kobe? I know you spent some time with him. once a year every year for 15 years right and it's like it's it's it's crazy you know I'm 38 years old you know to lose people in our age range you know it's weird it's the weirdest thing and it's like you know you know if you had some time of Cope you know how inspiring yeah was game changer what was the big lesson he taught you from knowing him personally but also

just experiencing him from afar? Man. So Michael B. Jordan had the premiere for Just Mercy. This is three weeks before Kobe passed. Kobe hosted the premiere.

Me and Kobe hosted the premiere for it was for Mike and Jamie Foxx. Great movie, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Brie Larson was backstage. She's in Just Mercy. And so it's me, Kobe Bryant, and Brie Larson randomly sitting backstage waiting for Jamie Foxx to stop doing his comedy act, right? Random night that I'll always remember. And so I'm sitting kind of in the middle of them.

And all of a sudden, I use my, you know, my hosting skills that kind of just come. Chameleon skills. Yeah. And I just kind of started connecting dots in a weird way Yeah, right between the two of them and I was like man, you know You know you Captain Marvel and did you go watch a cook because sometimes it's hard for people to connect Of course, and I remember he was giving her advice via me and and the conversation was was pretty much just on like being a champion and

going after success and what he said was that uh it doesn't matter how much you accomplish you know on the field and work or whatever he was saying that his biggest accomplishment was being the high school coach for his his daughter and that spending time with her was was more important to him than any of the chips that he won wow and i remember like looking at that and i was like oh my god you know this guy who is you know my favorite top three on anybody's list is saying now that it doesn't matter all the dunks all the chips all the mvps family is the most important so for me i gotta start family i gotta you know i don't have any kids i'm getting old i gotta yeah i gotta figure that out within the next year so yeah that's definitely like moved to my priority

list who's been the most impressive person you've ever interviewed or met or worked with on set that you were just like, 360 approach, because there's some people like, they're incredible at their career, but eh, not that good in family or relationships. There's some people that are great in relationships. There's some people that are good in their health. Others are great in career, but eh,

a little obese or whatever. It's like, who have you seen as like 360, whole human approach, just like, you are an unbelievable human being all around? Obviously, no one's perfect and they got their flaws. I can name two people. The most impressive would be Michelle Obama. Yeah.

She is just impressive. And whatever they're, so you can be around her in a room. Right. She could be on the other side of the room and you won't see any handlers like near them. Right. There's nobody that comes over and whispers in her ear. So then when when it connects with you and then she'll come talk to you like 10 minutes later and she'll be like personal on you. Oh, yeah. How's it going with such and such? And I like how do you cuz you got a routine so much so I I am always impressed with like her level of retention and how she operates I think Michelle Obama is just phenomenal and then I don't know why he popped into my

mind but like the nicest guy I know is Jason Kennedy do you know Jason Kennedy oh yeah yeah Jason Kennedy is just like one of the nicest guys I know I don't know why JK popped into my Jason Kennedy is just like one of the nicest guys I know. I don't know why JK popped into my mind, but JK is like one of the nicest guys I know. If I could, like him and his whole crew of like Judah and all those guys. Yeah, yeah. If I could like be nice like a person, like genuinely. He's very nice. Yeah. JK is like one of the nicest guys.

He's on E! News. Is that right? Or is he on, what was the? He's on E! News. You guys work together? We work together. Yeah, we co-anchored E! News for a while together together and he's just like a really nice guy he's a good human being he's a good human being yeah well i don't know he might have a torture chamber in uh

jason you might have a torture chamber in your garage i don't know but as far as i could tell you're one of the nicest what do you think it takes to be a great host of a show, of an event, of anything? Because you've done it all. You've done celebrity stuff, red carpet hosting to events to Miss America or Miss USA. I'm not sure what it's called anymore, but you've done it all. What's it take to be someone who wants to be a great host? Whether they want to be on a show or hosting a show, but just a great host in their life for their local events, for their friends and family. What do you think it takes?

You want like broad or like some specific like? Both. Yeah. Some specific things that pop into my head. Read a lot and do your research. Yes. Right? The more you know about whatever you're going into, the better you're going to be.

the more you know about whatever you're going into the better you're going to be um another specific thing that gets me through a lot don't try to pronounce or say a name if you don't know how to pronounce or say that name just ask them just either ask the name count on your lower thirds yeah to protect you yeah yeah wait for a producer to tell you in your ear if it's a live event or you know you know the worst thing is if being on a red carpet and interviewing a musician and you don't know how to say their name and saying it wrong and getting corrected you've lost it you've lost it you're better off just staying evergreen and saying how does it feel to be you're just staying evergreen don't try to say a name wrong that's i just i never try to get people's name wrong because that's important.

It's very personal, too, and intimate. I'm sure I've messed it up many times. We all have. Big macro level things. Be yourself. Have fun. Smile. Know your audience.

And hosting has changed a lot. Do you watch the boys on Amazon? I don't, no. You have to see it, it's incredible. Yeah, tell me about it. There's this superhero named Homelander, right? Okay. And he's so used to being like everybody's favorite hero

that in this season there's like adversity and people like are starting not to like him right and one of the other superheroes tells him she's like look you got to stop trying to be a superhero for everybody the world just doesn't work the same the 60s you can't be there's no more Johnny Carson you just aren't it for everybody anymore right stop focusing on being the greatest person for 300 million Americans and and be if you can be great for 50 million being specific do that right and that's been one of the hardest things in my life is that my personality type is like I feed off of love. I feed off of energy and I'm so used to, you know, being cool and everybody loving me.

And, you know, this the world now is not like that. Like people will hate you just because a lot of people like you. Right. And so my advice to young hosts is to just be specific to who you are and don't worry about trying to please everybody. You're not going to be able to please everybody. Focus on who you are, focus on your craft, and the people that are supposed to love you will love you, and then those that don't, you don't have to worry about it. But there's enough to go around for everybody, so just focus on being you.

For someone that wants to, as the people pleaser in you like i do as well you want everyone to love you how do you get over that when someone doesn't love you oh it's the hardest thing in the world for me right and i'm still not over it right i can i can post a photo and have a hundred comments that are positive but if 101 is like this guy my whole 101 is like, fuck this guy, my whole afternoon is like, man, what did I do? You know what I'm saying? And so, you know, it takes really loving yourself. This quarantine has been amazing for me in that regard of like, you know, I can't do shows anymore and feel the love. I got to hug it out and be like, oh, what's up?

Yeah, I got to love myself. Ooh. And that's and that's been the greatest thing. And then when you love yourself and you realize like if I operate from an honest space and I operate from the space that that God is flowing through me, what I say, even if the message is not for everybody, I'm operating from truth. And there's nothing more powerful than that. Yeah. How did you learn to love yourself? It's a process. is not for everybody i'm operating from truth and there's nothing more powerful than that yeah how did you learn to love yourself um it's a process it's uh surrounding you know yourself with the the right people that will will love you for you right i i've had times in my life where i

was surrounded by the right wrong people yeah and it's hard to love yourself when you have negative energy that's directly in front of you right meaning if I wake up in the morning and say you know what today I'm gonna change the world and I'm you know with the person that's saying you ain't gonna change nothing it's hard to overcome that right so surrounding yourself with the right people how do So surrounding yourself with the right people. How do you surround yourself with the right people in the world of Hollywood and the world of entertainment when sometimes you don't know if someone's trying to connect with you for another reason,

or if they're genuine, can they really open up to you? How do you find yourself being able to be discerning with other people that you're meeting to know if this is gonna be someone you wanna build a deeper relationship with, or if they're just trying to get something from you? I think it comes with maturity. I think it comes with time. I think instinctually at age 38, I'm a better judge of character and intention than I was at age 28 and a much better judge of character and intention than I was at age 18.

So I think with time, you're able to kind of differentiate what it is. Sure. For me, it's being around, you know, I would always surround myself with people I had to help. Now, I'm very keen to surround myself with people that can help me, right?

I would have, I've had a person like Damon John who we've mentioned in my life for years and years I've never asked him for anything yeah right I've never asked him to like hey help me be my mentor like you know I'm in you know last year I was in 10 million dollar tax bracket how do I crack a hundred million dollar tax bracket for next year right and so he was like the way for you to ask me that right and so it's it's reaching out to the people that you respect to the people that you love and and you know and then knowing where you want to make new friendships and relationships right like if you and me become friends I'm gonna help you and

you're gonna help me right and it's gonna be a mutually beneficial thing to people from completely different walks of life but you can already tell by sitting down just a positive energy right I don't want anything from you yeah you don't want anything from me but that's how you make that's how you make the best friendships and relationships because then it's just it's it's building from a place of love and respect. And so that's how I've tried to surround myself with those people. I still have day one people around me, yes. But I now try to, you know, I wake up and I have conversations with people that I want to have conversations with.

As opposed to allowing, you know, my man from the hood that just always, oh my God, I can't, I can't do, you know, I can't always do that. I can't. Who's the person you've always wanted to have a conversation with that you haven't had yet or you haven't met yet? Because you've interviewed everyone. It seems like. Who's that person? I mean, you've literally talked to everyone, I feel like, but.

Man, let me, let me come back to that. That's a good one. I don't get stumped too much. I want to give you a good answer. I'll tell you who I'm afraid of for whatever reason Jay Z still to this day you know right not just interview I go to his house for New Year it's just one of those people I'm even better around Beyonce what is it about Jay Z it makes you nervous or so so so lady yes who's one of Jay Z's best friends is my roommate, right? And so...

Right now. Right now, right? Jay-Z's best friend is your roommate. Jay-Z's best friend... So you spend weekends with him, you're at New Year's parties, you're hanging out. Could not see the guy more, right?

And I've known the guy 15 years. What, Jay-Z or his friend? Both. Okay, yeah. For whatever reason... For whatever reason, I don't know. I guess it's just something about Jay. I don't know. He's the one person I freeze up around.

I don't freeze up around Obama. I spend a ton of time with Kanye, Beyonce, Rihanna I love. Jay Z is the one person. I could be around Brad Pitt, George Clooney, it doesn't matter. Jay Z is the one person I could be around Brad Pitt George Clooney it doesn't matter Jay Z's the one guy who I really I don't know why I don't know why Jay's just too cool he's after 15 years of being around him just says there's always that one there's always yeah and and so Lenny yes who's my roommate his friend he he tears me a new one every time he's like I could not

have given you more alley-oop. And he was like, and Jay-Z can smell your fear. He smells your fear. So now when he's around, he smells your blood. He can smell it in the water. I'm like, oh, my God, I can't. I just can't. I always fumble when I'm on him.

To this day. How often do you experience self-doubt? Is it just around Jay-Z, or is there when you're launching a new movie or a project? Oh no, every day, you know, every day I, you know, I'm doubtful about something, you know. I'm a very, I have a very big personality and I have a lot of energy that I put out into the world and, you know, I'm very proud of what I've accomplished, but I'm always, you know, there's always doubt. I think my ability to overcome that doubt is why I've been able to be successful. Right. So when I was at 106 and Park, you

know, there weren't a lot of multi hyphenates at the time like there are now. And, you know, I wanted to be an actor and there were a lot of people that told me I couldn't do that. And I had a lot of self-doubt, but it's my, it's, it's my, my ability to say, yo, forget it and go after it. That allows me to do both. So I think, yeah, but I have self-doubt every day. Really? And that's okay. Yeah. What are the three things you do to improve your self-confidence when you doubt yourself? Ooh, what do I do to improve my self-confidence? You know, I don't... How do you not stay stuck in the doubt?

You know what I mean? It's like, because a lot of people in the world doubt themselves on a new project or meeting someone or whatever it may be, just going to their job and presenting something new. They doubt themselves. How do you continue to say, I feel this, but I'm going to do it anyways and put it out there. Hopefully it works. So that's a, it's, it's a joint thing for my career and it kind of goes to what I was saying earlier. So the whole first half of your career, it goes to what I was saying earlier. So the whole first half of your career, almost the first half of your life, you're operating off of a necessity, right? When I was coming out of college, I had student loans. I was poor. I was living in my best friend's basement, right? And so any self-doubt

that I had was overshadowed by my need to pay rent right and because of that I was able to overcome it because it's like alright if I don't do this I can't eat to make right and so that that is the driving factor like no other when you're rich it becomes a lot harder because you maybe not just rich, when you've acquired success and people have seen your level of success, then it's scarier because now you don't have to do things and if you do things and fail at them, you can really suffer embarrassment, right?

Meaning if I would have failed coming out of college, nobody would have saw it. No cares. Yeah, your mom or whatever. Yeah, it's like, okay, your buddy you're living off of the basement with whatever right keep going now if I you know I have three million followers on Instagram 3.1 right if I put out a product and I feel like it crashes and

burns there are three million immediate people that are gonna look at me blogs that'll pick it up if I do something bad right so getting over this self-doubt almost becomes more complicated when you have more to lose I think in order to overcome all of that you just have to dig deep believe in yourself believe in something higher than you you know believe in God or believe in whatever it is that gets you through it and like I said for, it's surrounding myself with the ecosystem of support and love. It's like, you know, when I go through it, I have the people that I call that help pull me out of the grave.

And because of that, you know, I'm invincible. And because of enough of that, it's all in me. And if I have to do it on my own, I can't. Yeah. What do you think is the thing you haven't yet healed from your past Jesus Christ I'm a big I'm a big believer that if there's pain from our past it could be a small pain like last week I got an argument with someone and I haven't healed it yet or something from childhood. For me, I went through sexual abuse when I was a kid and it was something I held onto for 25 years until I started to heal it when I was 30, about seven

years ago. There's always a pain or something unhealed from our past. And I think it's always going to hold us back or it's going to create negative emotions somewhere if we don't learn to heal those things. So I'm curious, is there any unhealed situations, experiences from your past, whether it be recent or? Man, yeah, I would have to really self-analyze and dig deep to give you, I mean, clearly, I'm sure that, you know, never meeting my biological dad, you know, plays a part in, you know, and being an only child plays a part

in my detachment from other people and my, you know, inability to sometimes connect in relationships. you know, inability to sometimes connect in relationships. I'm sure that all of my many failed past relationships have have led to, you know, fear of commitment, fear of, you know, getting my heart broken again, fear of breaking hearts again. You know, career wise, it has been pretty on par with what I've wanted. Career-wise, it has been pretty on par with what I've wanted, but I haven't always been the best version of myself. There are sets that I might have been rude on, times in my career where I wasn't at peace again, like I was saying, you know, I'm just at a place now where all of the pain body and all of the experiences now have kind of just compartmentalized it into one thing and just using it all as fuel to move forward. You know, I just I want to wake up every day now and be the best version of myself and have every single person when I walk on set I want every single human being that I come like oh it's a nice guy he was good yeah great you know he's on time I

was 10 minutes late but he's gonna text me early let me know yeah yeah it's funny I was asking you know essence essence the actress yeah yeah I was a friend of mine and I was like you were working tears like yeah we worked on I think you guys worked on a movie together on a set for something, some project. She was like, yeah, he's always been a great guy, stand-up guy. Oh, that means a lot. Essence is incredible. Amazing actress.

Oh my, amazing person. Great person. Right? She's incredible. Incredible, incredible. I want to talk about commitment issues for a second because I feel like we're very similar in the fact that I've always wanted to like find love and be in great relationships, but then I'm always afraid to fully commit of like whatever reason missing out on other

opportunities or is it going to pull me back from my dreams and my career is going to take time away from something. I feel like I'm in the right relationship now and it's been amazing to experience the other side. What do you think is the reason why you've had commitment challenges in the past in relationships in general? Not with a specific person, but just what do you think that is that holds you back from going all in on a relationship and wanting to be committed, I guess, long term? I'm sure that there's an educated way to say it i'm sure that there's you know we could dig into the male psyche what's the raw and we can do all that yeah but the raw you know i've just i've a lot of things up right and i've made a lot of mistakes and so whether or not it was the mistakes that I made in a relationship, trusting the wrong people, going down the wrong, you know, regardless of any of the relationships that I've ever been in. I just I'm at a place now of like, look, I got to take responsibility for I've never been perfect in a relationship.

And I got to take responsibility for that. Right. I've always contributed to the demise right and that relationship 100% 100% and so for any there's not there's not one ex-girlfriend that I can look at and say it was all their fault right they could probably look at me and say oh his mother but there's not one that I can look at and say it was all their fault, right? So at this stage of my life now, it's self-reflecting and looking and saying, okay, here are the things that I've heard about myself, right? Here are the goals that I want to accomplish in a relationship. Here are the things that have held me back from getting there.

And, you know, these are the things that I got to do to get what I want right and and so you know a lot of guys cheat right cheating is a is is a thing that happens I feel cheating is connected with the universe you always get caught right so even if you don't get caught by the person the universe will catch you right and so if you look at why some of your relationships feel it, because you weren't a good guy, you didn't do the right things. All right. I'll tell you a story. Staying a girl. This must have been 10. No, it may have been like 13 years ago. And a group of friends of mine were in Miami. were in Miami and the girl I lived with the girl in New York right and the group of friends like let's just go to dr. I'm a public Dominican Republic and just get

in trouble and you're in your North Carolina in New York where you're yeah I mean I'm in a committed relationship right and he's oh and she doesn't go with you to dr. no she wasn't miami she knew i was in miami right but there's nothing but trouble dr is a very fun place yeah to get yourself in trouble so me and the fellas we we were on a flight and then we hop a little extra flight to dr right and we do an extra little weekend and we get we get in all types of trouble, all types of bad trouble in DR, right? Come back home and I rip a page because when you-

This is pre-social media. This is pre-social media. This is like, yeah. 100%. So they stamp my passport in DR, right? You just came from Dominican Republic. Boom. Right?

So on my way home, I'm thinking in advance. I'm like, you know what? I'm about to travel with my girl. I'm going to take this page out of my passport. No, you did not. Just in case

she happens to hold the passports and look at them. Isn't that illegal or something? I'm going to do that in a minute. Right? Get back. Have the...

Girl doesn't know I went to DR. No idea. In the the relationship everything's fine time goes by everything's fine more time goes by everything's fine and the relationship on some mutual mutually beneficial day yeah everything was fine that whole relationship I got away with it, right? I thought everything was going to be fine, right? Started dating a new girl. I'm in it. I'm fully in love.

I think this girl is everything, right? I go on a trip with the new girl, right? We go, we're headed to an island. And when I land in that island, and this was a year and a half after i done the dirt i land on the island and they don't let me in because my passport was tampered with and it wasn't a legit passport right the girl who i liked we had a whole group of friends oh the girl who i liked i was like just go ahead and go on a trip. They won't let you.

So when I landed, they was like, you have two choices. Either we can wait for the judge to come look at your passport and approve it. It can take three days, maybe. It can take three days.

But if not, you have to stay in jail overnight or you can fly back home. So I flew back home immediately and the girl that I liked met a new guy on that trip. No, he didn't.

That she started dating and she left me for it. She did not. 100%, right? No way. And all I could do was laugh because the dirt that I had done within a different relationship in a whole different time came back to me with my messed up passport because I was, right? And so what you realize is that karma is, it will always come back for you.

It will always, and it might not be, you might not get caught for the crime that you committed, but if you do dirt, you will get caught. It will happen to you. It'll be something else that you want and it'll happen to you and you will get caught. So that's always my lesson with moving forward is like, I'm trying to

operate just being a good person knowing that the universe will take care of me because if you don't you will go yeah it's interesting because uh the relationship i'm in now within the first week or two of us kind of starting the date i opened up about just everything from my past i was like you know here's where i did right here's's where I did wrong, everything, right? Clean, like about everything. And she goes, one thing I request from you, you always be honest with me and tell me the truth. And I said, are you sure?

Because I don't know if you can handle it. Because most relationships I've said the truth, they can't handle it. That's why I hold back a little bit sometimes and then turns more and more. And I said, are you sure? She said, yes, I can. And it feels amazing.

Now, there's times where I tell her the truth where she can't handle it. And it's hard because it's a challenging conversation. Not because I did something wrong, but she just didn't like the truth or whatever it was. But it feels amazing to be 100% clean on your side of the street. Whether the relationship works out forever or doesn't work out, I know that I'm a piece inside. Yeah. And I'm a piece, whether it's we're together forever and have babies or we break up today. Yeah. It's like, I feel clean peace and it's not because I did anything wrong or said anything wrong. It's, it's because it just wasn't the right fit. Is there any better feeling than that it's

incredible man it's like to wake up and like not look over your shoulders and here's the thing it's funny because so many guys have come to me over the last year because i'm dating a very high profile person from mexico who's got a big following and and a lot and very desirable for a lot of men and i have zero insecurity or jealousy and almost in every relationship in my past I've been very protective let's say like if a guy gave a weird look or said something down the street it was like I wanted to fight and kind of protect yeah it's I don't know what it is maybe because I'm older now I'm 37 and I was just like going through a lot of different breakups in the past.

I'm just like so not jealous anymore. It's weird to have that feeling. But it feels incredible because I don't feel like I'm ruining the relationship from those emotions. And I think because I'm being so honest and clear and truthful, it's making me less insecure whether she is as well, right? Yep. So I don't know. I just feel at peace. Like if it doesn't work out, it's not meant to be.

There's no greater feeling. It's incredible, man. There's no greater feeling than not having to check your phone knowing that a call. I don't have to have a password for nothing. It's all good. If she opens up and looks at any social media, I don't have to worry about a thing. Bro. It's all good. If she opens up and looks at any social media, I don't have to worry about a thing. Bro.

It's amazing. You can hold my phone, call your mom, I'm going to go to the kitchen. I'll be, you know, oh, you have my phone? It's okay. Yeah, exactly. If you're not, it's the best feeling in the world. It's great.

You've gotten to that point too? Yeah, I'm just at peace with everything. I'm just at peace with everything. And as a good interviewer, I know where you go with this next. So I'm just, I'm at peace with everything. That's just at peace with everything. And as a good interviewer, I know where you go with this next. So I'm just, I'm at peace with everything. That's good. I'm curious about imposter syndrome.

For me, I believe a lot of people don't believe they are enough for the next situation to be on the stage and give a speech in front of an audience, to launch a book, to be in the room with the Obamas or whoever is in their industry, how do you deal with imposter syndrome? Thinking like, I'm just a kid from Queens with a single mom who I don't have my dad,

I've worked my way up, and now I'm in the room with Jay-Z or the Obamas or whoever it may be. Do you deal with imposter syndrome ever? And if so, how do you deal with that to know you belong in the room with Jay-Z or the Obamas or whoever it may be. Do you deal with imposter syndrome ever? And if so, how do you deal with that to know you belong in the room? I don't, I'm trying to think if I do. I don't feel like I deal with imposter syndrome as much.

I feel like I have a ton of flaws. I don't particularly know if that's one of them or if that's how I would categorize it. When I walk into a room with those people like I have a defense mechanism that I just kind of automatically put on I have a bag of tricks yeah right that you know I'm just able to access for years yeah what I think of the book the game when you said that you're talking about it's like you're trying to pick up a girl you've got the pickup line you've got this magic trick you're like hey 100 there are those certain things that will connect with anybody that i'm i'm easily able

to access whether you're talking to obama or whether you're talking to you know uh sean penn there's always just certain things that what are those things those three key things that you can connect with anyone in a moment from meeting them i'm a student i know a lot about a lot of people so like sports are always those things now the pandemic is always one of those things um you know i i'm able to look at what you're wearing, piece it together, find the common denominators, you know, then I have my other bag. I got, you know, voices I can go into, things that I, you know, like when I'm in a room with people

and I have to put on in that room, I just, I know what's worked for me in the past and how to take over that room. What do you mean voices? Like, yo, like voiceover? Did you just try to do it? I role. What do you mean voices? Like voiceover? Did you just try to do it? I mean, what do you mean? You're trying to be like Mike Tyson?

You're trying to be like Kevin Hart? No, no, no, no, no. What do you mean voices? No, no. There are certain inflections that I can... Tonality of your voice. Yeah, there's certain tonality of my voice that I can use to accomplish what I want to accomplish.

Like what? Give me an example. You walk in with Obama or Jay-Z, even though you mess it up every time. You walk in with someone like Obama for the first time and you've got to connect, you've got three seconds before you got to do the next thing.

How do you connect? Doesn't really work. Okay, I'm trying to, okay, how does it work? You know what I mean? Yeah, okay, say. What do you say to Obama the first time? Like, are you looking at his shoes right away? You've seen him watch.

You've seen, like, the flag, the president. So when I'm metal... Basketball, you're trying to access everything. So what I'll do for, like, an Obama, like, so if I'm in the White House for the first time, I will access something that I know everybody around us experiences that I feel like people would be unable to say to him and I'll be able to crack the barrier by expressing that thing. Right. So like, I think the first thing I met when I met Obama, when you go into the White House, they have and you go into the bathroom, they have napkins, right? And those napkins say, you know, the White House, right?

Obama administration, whatever they say, right? So, like, I whisper to his side, like, I stole a lot of napkins. To Obama. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said this to him. Please don't have a secret security. And he just busts out laughing, right? He's dying, yeah.

He's dying laughing, right? It doesn't matter who you are. Saying that to somebody, like, the moment, and it'll come, like, he'll bes out laughing, right? He's dying, yeah. He's dying laughing, right? It doesn't matter who you are. Saying that to somebody, like the moment, and it'll come, he'll be like, oh, so nice to meet you. You'll be like,

I stole a lot of napkins. I'm sorry. They're in my pocket. I'll take them back if you need. Like, he's dying laughing, right? He's already dying laughing, right? So I'll just figure out what I feel like,

and then knowing his personality. And, you know, he's sharp with it, too. He'll be like, you have 10 seconds to get going. You know, I can't remember what it was, but he completely played into it. He's like, Roger, get out of my way. Yeah, exactly. And he was so, you know, generous about it and fun about it. And then from there on, it was like the barrier was broken, right?

Uh-huh. I think it's just, as hosts especially, it's important to just find those common denominators, break down those walls, and then once I get you that first hook, then I can do anything in the room. Then I feel invincible, then I'm good. What about if it's a scenario where you're in a room at an event or a party and you don't know you're meeting this person?

Like you knew you were going to meet Obama, so you kind of had a preparation to go into it. But Tom Cruise hits you on the back of the shoulder and you're like, oh, what do you say when you turn around or someone introduces you real quick to someone? What's that tool that you'll access to make sure you create a great impression and start to build that relationship yeah it's uh it comes again that that comes from what i call a bag of tricks yeah so what i'll say is i remember this is before wikipedia i would study people right i would look you know up people you know i mean you and i are older than internet right so we know what it's like to look on the encyclopedia yeah look at magazines do research i'm a student of people yeah it you know whether it's somebody on broadway whether it's an ice skater like i'll try to know so that if tom cruise knocks on my shoulder i'm able to say yo your last movie what up right i'm always able to

flip into it if i'm at that type of event. Now, if he catches me at the grocery store, you know, I'm not saying I haven't fumbled, but I would say out of eight times of getting caught off guard, I mean, 10 times of getting caught off guard, I'm pretty good at seven to eight of them. Yeah. Two of them I might fumble through,

but most of the time I just, I study enough about a lot that I'm able to just flex into, to, to one of my bag of tricks. What's the greatest skill you think every human being should learn from this movement moving forward? If they haven't already learned this skill, is it the art of studying people? Is it having a bag of tricks? Is it health and wellness? What is the skill you think people need to learn the most to help them in their life? It's to maximize your potential of what you're great at. The greatest thing that you can do is tap into your genius. One thing Jay-Z will say is that every single one of us

has genius in us, we're all brilliant. Where a lot of us are scared to tap into what that is. And a lot of us wanna tap into the wrong thing instead of actually focusing on what you are passionate about and what you can be great at. You know, 15 years ago, ago 10 years ago if you wanted to be a host the thought was for you to be as evergreen as possible right back then I was getting booked for everything I'm hosting you know NBA slam dunk contest

shows I'm hosting Miss USA I'm whole that's why my because I'm an evergreen host right today it's not about that like there's a fishing channel if you're about fishing right hone in on that right you don't have to be an expert bowler to be the greatest person on the Food Network right you don't have to know everything about fashion in order to excel on CSNBC, right? So whatever you're passionate about and you love, and this is not just for being a host, but to find true success and to find true happiness,

I think the true ingredient is to focus on what you love and what you're passionate about. And then you'll be able to find success in any aspect of your life. Do you feel like you could have been farther along if you weren't as evergreen and kind of like trying to host on different platforms for different audiences but more focusing on one genre or one audience? I guess you were on one platform for a long time but you're also hosting different places.

You know, I'm really happy today with where I'm at. I'm really happy with where I'm at. If I could trade careers with anybody, I don't think I would do it. I think that I'm in a position now that, you know, when I'm in my 50s and 60s, I'll be able to enjoy a Steve Harvey-esque career. And, you know, yeah, you know what I mean? I feel like I'm in a position to do that. Right. You know, would I have wanted to focus and, you know, be the video game guy and just, you know, I love a lot of things, you know, and I have a lot of fun doing a lot of things. things and I you know I love my career like I love my career and I love the level that I'm at you know there were times when being famous was really really cool and now if I don't think it's as cool you know back when I really

wanted to be famous you were famous because you were great at something. Right. You know, oh, my God, that person walking down the street just put out a number one album. Oh, my God. That person walking down the street, you know, is the fastest running back. Right. Right. Oh, my God. That is a brilliant writer who put out a book, whatever, right? Now, just anybody can be famous. You could be famous for being on Instagram and doing whatever or having whatever reality show, whatever, there's just so many ways. Just have one piece of content and be famous.

You could be famous for anything, right? And I'm not talking about anybody's level of getting to where they're famous. But now it's like that's not as cool. Now what's cool to me is being great, right? Being great at something. School of greatness, right? It's like what are you great at, right?

How do you impact people and how do you help people, right? I'd rather have, you know, an experience, if I have to spend a day where one person has an incredible experience with me that day as opposed to, you know, being cool in front of 100 people in a gymnasium that don't really care about me, right? So, yeah, I just feel like the world has shifted. And now there's so many more humans that you can be more specific with what you want to do you can still be great yeah and still make a lot of money you know I don't want to forecast too far ahead but you're gonna be 40 in a year and a half yeah and it's hard for me because I'm gonna be 40 and I guess two and a half years what would you say are the biggest lessons you've learned in this past decade from 30 to almost 40

although you're probably to learn a lot in the last year and a half until you hit there but what would you say are the biggest lessons you've learned since 30 till now um you know everything from the four agreements right i love that book no don't take anything personally so hard we live in a world where everybody can reach you at any time and say something to you. And you got to realize that everybody's words towards you is only a reflection of how they are feeling. And to not take anything personally, you know, to never, ever give up. You know, nobody can stop me from doing anything that I want to do. Nobody. You know, nobody can stop me from doing anything that I want to do.

Nobody. There's no, you know, there's just nobody but me, right? Only I can make the decisions that can stop myself from getting to a place that I want to get. But not letting any no stop you from going after your dreams. And then the next biggest lesson is just to be a good person, to be a kind person. We, you know, humanity right now is at a turning point. You know, we got the biggest vote of our lives coming up. The sky is on fire because of global warming. You know, there's so many movements.

I can't even count them, right? You know, I'm marching for Black Lives Matter. I'm fighting for LGBTQ. I'm marching for Black Lives Matter. I'm fighting for LGBTQ. I'm fighting for Me Too movement. I'm fighting for, what's the new, there's a new one that's just happened. I want everybody to progress and feel love. And, you know, I'm fighting for humanity. That's the movement I'm fighting for. I'm fighting for humanity to reach our maximum potential. And, you know, in that fight, I think the key ingredient, as cliche as it may sound, is just love. We got to love each other more. You know, we got to support each other more.

We got to be there for each other more. We got to understand each other more. We got to show more love. Yeah. What's your definition of love? My definition of love is God. God is love. My definition of love is pouring into other people the light and the positivity that you want poured into yourself.

the light and the positivity that you want poured into yourself, being selfless in that way, giving back, empathy, sympathy, emotion. Yeah, all of that is love. What's the thing you're most proud of that a lot of people maybe don't know about? So you accomplished a lot of things worked with a lot of people you give back a lot you do a lot of philanthropy work you're fighting for human rights but what's the thing you do that you're most proud of i don't know that might go on i don't know that's a tough one that's a tough one you know it's it's you know there's certain

people that you know you know that that have one thing that's so great that they can be proud of it and I just have so many little things that it's hard for me to like really focus on one that I could say is my most proud accomplishment I don't even something that's not, something that people maybe don't know about. Maybe it's not a big accomplishment, but it's something you changed or you learned or you developed or a relationship that you reestablished after it was hurt for a long time, or you showed up somewhere that no one knew about and you built a great

relationship with someone. So something internally that you're like, you know what? I'm really proud of this. I'm really proud of, you know, the relationship I've developed with my parents. I'm not saying that we weren't close in the past, but, you know, I've really made an effort to become closer. My dad has a lot of health issues,

and, you know, I want him around for a really long time. And just the more I get to know both of my parents, my stepdad and my mom, the more proud I am of the relationship and the bond that we've developed. Let's throw a hypothetical question out there. Let's say your dad shows up in the next six months and wants to meet you. And he says, you know, I've been following your entire life.

I've seen everything you've done. I've just been afraid to come and approach you for whatever reason. But I've seen all your accomplishments. I've seen your work on TV, movies. You've done amazing. What would you want him to say that he's most proud of about all the things you've done and the person you've become through your ups and downs, if that ever happened? You know, going to college, I think education is really important, you know,

buying homes, you know, buying real estate. You know, not many people in my family were able to, you know, do that. I think a lot of times, especially for black people, we're a lot of first generation everything, right? You know, we don't have houses handed down to us as much. We don't have, you know, a lot of family members that went to college that are able to get you into the alma mater. Like, you know, we're either first or second generation, you know, we're rarely third generation, anything in this country. So, you know, those American dream things for me of education, home ownership, property, and then, you know then the fact that I will be in a position to provide hopefully my kids with sustainable wealth for a long time and leave them something.

I think those three things are the pillar of the American dream. And the fact that I was able to accomplish those things without him directly in my life, I hope that he would be proud that I was able to do those things. That's cool. Yeah. Because I think the statistic is that most young black men without a father in the home, I'm going to butcher the stats, but the education rate of young black men finishing high school or having lower reading levels or something is extremely low based on them not being in the home as if they were in the home be much higher i'm not sure the

exact stat yeah but i remember hearing that yeah yeah i don't know what the stats are i mean i knew when i was growing up how bad the stats used to sound i mean but look it's it's it's pretty turnkey and easy to understand right if you have two people at home making sure you're doing your homework and making sure you get home on time, it's a lot better than one. Yeah, stay out of trouble. Yeah, exactly, stay out of trouble. You know, the more disciplinary factors that you have in your life that are able to control you to go to school and focus on those things,

the more you'll be able to focus on those things and go to school, right? The more, you know, in a lot of cases, right? And so when you're able to find outliers in those cases, it's, you know, it's to be applauded. But again, I think that the world is moving, you know, I think us as a culture, we're moving in the right direction. I just think it's going to take time. It's not going to happen overnight. You know, it's a marathon, not a sprint. How did you use, How did you develop a mindset

to achieve the success you have in your life? And what are those tools that you've developed within your mindset? Are you a big morning ritual guy? Are you a big, I'm going to read and learn and grow my mind? Are you a big meditation guy? What are the tools you use to build your mindset

for success? I think, for me the the hardest one is getting that first success that's the biggest one once you get that first success then I use III understand that I can accomplish success and then once you do that then you can always dip back into that and accomplish success, no matter how old you are, right? It's like, so once you win that first game, then you know, okay, I can win, right? I won once before. I can win again. And so, you know, I've had a 15-year career, 18-year career, whatever.

You know, I've had years where I'm career, 18-year career, whatever. You know, I've had years where I'm on fire. Multiple hit shows, whatever. Then you have years that are kind of dry. Not much going on, right? I never feel like I can't do it again because I know that I've done it. I know that I've done it at a high level. So I always know I can tap back into it. You just got to adjust sometimes.

The world will change. And if you're on top for five years, you can't, you know, nobody stays on top consecutively. You got to take cool off periods. No matter who you are. Even if you're The Rock or Will Smith or Kevin Hart. Even though it looks like those guys keep growing.

Absolutely. But even Rihanna hasn't put out an album in a few years. She's acquired so much success with Fenty, right? And her clothing line and her skin, right? And then when she puts music back out, she's going to crush them all over again, right? But it's not like every year it's an album, album, album.

Sometimes you've got to take a step back away and then you've got to go into a different direction of success, right? And so, it's important to go with the ebb and flows of life but once you know that you can accomplish success in one arena then that can be the fuel uh for you in all other arenas and what i tell for people going after that first level of success is to just not give up

until you get it right yeah you cannot stop until you get what that goal is. And then once you get that, then you gotta keep on doing it over and over. That's the hard part. Do you think it's easier to become successful or stay successful? I mean, it's harder to become successful or harder to stay?

It's harder to stay successful. I think it's much harder. Why is that? You've seen a lot of people come and go over the last 20 years of your career. Oh, my goodness. Who were massive and then they're probably not around anymore, right? 100%.

Too many to name. I think that, you know, it's that adjustment, right? When you come out with your first body of work or your first success or your first win you've prepared your whole life for that moment right if you're a 21 year old musician that's dropping your first record you had 21 years of emotions experience everything to prepare and when you do that you've now given out your whole bag of tricks on that album on that song on that moment everything you've ever learned you funneled it into that moment of time and then it's over now a year later two years later you got to start from scratch and you have this success so now you're lazy you got money you got too many girls around you you got you

know family members you got to take care of you got all these other moving parts and and you got a balance starting starting over and doing your next album. So it's much harder and much easier to get that sophomore jinx than it is to come out of the gate. That's why a lot of sequels to movies are not as good. You had your whole life to prepare for this one movie. Then the studio wants you to turn it around in two years it's like ah

we gotta throw this script together it's trash right so so yeah I think it's much harder to keep that level of success which is why

preparation and research and just doing the work is so important you know it's the 10,000 hours from the outliers it's you know in order to if you win that first championship you're gonna win

that second if you put in all the work and that's what it takes is that level of work we've got a few final questions for you this is fascinating I'm curious if you hypothetical let's say you lost all your money today tomorrow whatever it's all gone all your homes are gone all your assets are gone you've got nothing you're back to like calling up Jay-Z saying hey can I crash on your couch or whatever right and you had to make let's hypothetical you had to make a million dollars in a year what would you will be the first thing you would do what would you create what would you launch to be able to create that within a year with

no money no assets you've got your relationships but you've got none of your business right now I could do that what would it what would you do it for first thing you would do I would do it only fans just show my body on those let's see let's see what would be the first thing? I think I would do something consumer based. I think I would utilize social media. Consumer product you mean? Yeah, it's coming with a consumer product base. I think that, now do I still have my friends

and my relationships? You got all your relationships, you got your Rolodex. Oh, so yeah. But what would you do? Yeah, you know, I would start a podcast. I would do a podcast where they would have to, you know, they would. Now, am I still me? Still you.

You're you. Oh, yeah. Okay, so this is not hard. What would you do? So, yeah, so I would call you. We would turnkey this and flip the logo around to have a second one. We'd sell this podcast for 500 grand and you you know you you'd be my partner in it so you would you know you would get uh 200 grand off of that to to produce

it and get the licensing fees and distribution i would get 300 would start the base and then take the 300 i would do i would take 100 000 of that and i met this really dope young writer from USC and I want to shoot an indie film with it. So I would take 100,000 and do it for the indie film. We would shoot that film in about three weeks and then we would turn that film around. I would sell that film to either Amazon or Netflix. That'll sell for 750 grand. So I'd have 750 off of that sale, 300 off of this sale. Then I would do like some kind of quick little product or something My favorite sneaker cleaner is Jason Marks But I feel like there there could be like another product in that space or I would like put a little shop on Melrose

Like there's not enough vegan food in LA. So that's something I would want to do too It's like I would want to do like a dope would want to do a dope vegan restaurant here in LA. So maybe I would get a small business loan and do one of those. Either way, I would just start hustling. Every day I wake up and I would just come up with something new and I would piecemeal it together. Sure, sure. Yeah, I would do it in six months. Oh, there you go.

Yeah, I would make the million in six months. What if you had to make, what, $10 million in a year? That's more complicated. Okay. That's for another podcast. More complicated number. A million, we can do. I have to really sit down with David Jha.

You've got a, what is bwoke.vote? What is this? Oh, bwoke.vote. Robert Smith, Dion Taylor, who's an incredible, incredible director. Robert Smith is the black billionaire that is on everyone's list right now. And Roxanne, Avon Taylor

have formed a non-profit called BeWokeVote. And I've kind of been helping spearhead some of the initiatives to get people, especially young people, motivated and energized about this year's election.

So yeah, we're doing a big voting, BeWokeVote campaign shoot tomorrow. What are you doing tomorrow? You should come by and take some photos. Where is it at? It's 10 minutes away from here. All right, let me know. Throw a hat on your head.

You're good to go. Yeah. So, yeah, it's literally just about getting people registered and activated and out there voting this year. Yeah. How can people get involved there? Through social media. We can send you product.

There's a website that has everything. But really, there's so many different initiatives. It's really not about our initiative or the next. We use ours for branding and marketing to get our word out. But for me, it's about everybody inspiring others to vote. So I don't care if you're in North Carolina right now with 100 followers on IG and you work at the grocery store. Tell everybody that's coming through, you know, at your local grocery store to go out there and vote. It's just important that all of us exercise that right this year.

Yeah, for sure. Be woke.vote. Is that where you can go? Be woke.vote. Yep. Okay. You're Terrence J. everywhere, Twitter sure. Bewoke.vote. Is that where you can go? Bewoke.vote. Yep. Okay. You're Terrence J everywhere, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. So make sure you follow Terrence J. You can see every person that he hangs out. Every celebrity in the world is pretty much on his

Instagram page. I want to acknowledge you before I ask these final two questions for your ability to constantly transform yourself. I think it's really hard to jump into one category, hosting, and then say, you know what? But I want to try acting. I'm really excited about this. I think it's really hard to jump into one category, hosting, and then say, you know what? But I want to try acting. I'm really excited about this. I'm passionate about it. I'm going to do it. Even when everyone says that I'm not capable. You did that. You started doing executive producing. You continue to evolve yourself from what your past self wasn't able to do. You keep evolving, growing, and adding value to people's lives through your creativity and your expression. So I really acknowledge you for your ability

to see a vision, and even if you've never done it, go make it happen for yourself. It's really inspiring. And I think young creators or talent or just anyone who has a dream can see your example of what you've done and follow that example.

I think it's really cool. Of course, man. This question is called the three truths. So imagine, another hypothetical question, imagine it's your last day on earth many years from now. You're as old as you want to be. You've accomplished every dream. You have great relationships. Everything has worked out the way you want it to be.

have great relationships, everything has worked out the way you want it to be. But for whatever reason, every piece of art, creation, video, content, movie that you've ever made, book, all goes with you to the next place. And it's your last day on earth. But you get to leave behind three things you know to be true from your entire existence. Three lessons that you would share with the world. And this is all that we would have to remember you by are these three lessons. I call it the three truths. What would you say are your three truths? Three lessons to the world. You know, don't take life for granted, have fun in all that you do, and never trust a big butt and a smile. That's the greatest.

Wait, so number one, say it again. Don't take life for granted. Have fun in all that you do. And never, ever, ever, ever trust a big butt and a smile. I don't think I've ever heard that last one, but that is a great truth. Because you're probably getting in a lot of trouble. Very famous quote. Has someone said that before?

Yeah. Poison. It comes from a song. Okay. Maybe I have heard it, but yeah. You just said it in a great way. Well, this has been amazing, man. I'm so glad we got to connect.

And my final question for you is what is your definition of greatness? And my final question for you is, what is your definition of greatness? My definition of greatness is such a my definition of greatness is living a life fulfilled, doing what you do to to to make yourself happy and living a purpose driven life, with passion, inspiration, and love. That's a little convoluted, but you can work it all in. My man, Terrence J. in the house. Appreciate you, brother. My friends, thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you found it powerful.

Let me know what you enjoyed the most, the part that stood out the most and was helpful for you. By going to Apple Podcasts, clicking on that subscribe subscribe button and leaving us a review and a rating, just sharing your thoughts about this episode over there. We'd love to hear your thoughts on how this impacted you and inspired you in your life. And please share this with a friend, text a buddy, text a girlfriend, text a family member, just send them a link, copy and paste wherever you're listening, or you can use lewishouse.com slash 1021 and put it in a WhatsApp group chat, put it on Facebook, put it on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram stories, and share it with your friends. Also, if you like

weekly inspiration and you want more inspiration from me, we text people every single week, inspirational quotes, motivational thoughts, videos, all that good stuff. All you got to do is text the word podcast to 614-350-3960. And you'll get messages from me every single week. So go ahead and do that right now as well to stay motivated weekly. And I want to leave you with this quote from author Roy T. Bennett, who said, you with this quote from author Roy T. Bennett, who said, accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. Oh, I love this episode. Really enjoyed connecting with Terrence J. And hope you enjoyed it as well and become a fan of his online and of his work that he does. And I want to remind you,

if no one has told you lately, you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. I'm so grateful for you, my friend. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.