The School of Greatness - 1024 Robert Greene: The Positive Side of Human MANIPULATION (The #1 Skill for SUCCESS)

Episode Date: October 26, 2020

“I push past my limits. I do things that I’m not supposed to do. I take hikes even though I have to hold on to somebody to do it. People think I’m crazy!”Robert Greene is the author of the New... York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature and many others. On today's podcast Robert and Lewis sit down for another wide-ranging conversation about pushing past your limits, creating a more positive mindset, embracing your failures and so much more!For more go to: www.lewishowes.com/1024Check out Robert’s website: www.powerseductionandwar.comThe last podcast with Robert: www.lewishowes.com/713The first podcast: www.lewishowes.com/1

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What is my dark side? And you know I had to analyze it and deal with it and think about it and think about how any success I've had in life is because I managed to use those dark emotions in my work and channel them. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Writer Aviyat Das said, the quality of our life is directly proportional to the quality of our thoughts. An English poet, Anne Bradstreet said, the quality of our life is directly proportional to the quality of our thoughts.
Starting point is 00:00:46 An English poet, Anne Bradstreet said, if we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant. If we did not sometimes taste adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. I am so excited. We have an incredible guest today. He is the author of the New York Times bestsellers, The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature, and many others. Robert Green was my very first podcast guest
Starting point is 00:01:16 on The School of Greatness. He's a good friend of mine, and I always get excited when I'm able to sit down with him and analyze the world, our experiences, and life. Robert has decades of wisdom and has gone to extreme lengths to get his ideas out into the world. And I got the inside scoop on some of his most intimate thoughts about adversity, overcoming a tragedy, and he even talked about the idea behind his new book he's working on and when we might expect to see it coming out. And in this episode, we discuss what lessons he's learned after having a life threatening stroke, how Robert pushes past his limits to get the most out of life currently,
Starting point is 00:01:56 how the great leaders of history have bounced back from the most severe tragedies, how your outlook on life affects your experience, and how to stay more positive in the face of adversity, why defeat and failure are the greatest things that could ever happen to you, and so much more. This is packed with some incredible wisdom that I couldn't get enough of, and I hope you can't get enough of as well. Make sure to share this with someone who you think would be inspired to hear this. And a quick reminder to subscribe to the School of Greatness over on Apple Podcasts, as well as leaving us a rating and review.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Okay, after this quick message, the one and only Robert Green. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast. I am so excited. We have one of my favorite guests back on the the School of Greenness podcast. I am so excited. We have one of my favorite guests back on the show, Robert Green, who is a New York Times bestseller of many books, The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, and The Laws of Human Nature,
Starting point is 00:02:59 which is one of my favorites that you've done. So welcome back, my friend. You were the first episode on School of Greatness, episode one. I think we're at episode 1,020, somewhere around there now. So you were episode one almost eight years ago. Wow. I'm so honored. It's fun, man. And we just did our 1,000th episode, and we did the top 10 moments of all 1,000 episodes. And you were the number one moment. Really?
Starting point is 00:03:23 You were the number one moment. Which interview? The first one. We talked about the first one. And you were the number one moment. Oh really? You were the number one moment. Which interview? The first one. We talked about the first one. And we talked about how, you know, I launched this with an idea and a dream to inspire people, but I launched it with one episode
Starting point is 00:03:35 and one listener and one guest. And you were the first guest, thankfully you came on. And you know, more than one person listened, but there was, you launched something and the first person has to buy your book and read it the first person has to listen the first person has to watch the movie like wow you got to start with one so it's been fun to look back now over 250 million downloads wow thousand episodes we get over 10 million downloads a month and it all
Starting point is 00:04:01 started with you wow i feel very humble and very appreciative yeah i'm very grateful that i could do do that for you because you deserve it thank you thank you some people you you wonder a little bit they're kind of you know i don't know if they're if they're very substantial but you deserve it i appreciate it i think my mission's always been i think we have a lot of similarities in the fact that well we don't the fact that you're way smarter and more talented than me as a writer but we observe people and we observe history and human behavior. Yeah. And we just do it in different ways.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Yeah. You're great at researching and putting together ideas, complex ideas from the past and present to making something understandable and how we can improve our life. And I think I'm really good at reading human beings. You are. And observing environments. You are. Observing body language to try to connect I saw that in our last interview when you were interviewing me about the human nature book your questions were really pertinent you really understood you've obviously been a student of psychology and human behavior yeah for a long time so thank you
Starting point is 00:05:00 appreciate it uh my first question is we had you on a couple years ago, right after you had a stroke, which was, you almost died, right? Your wife was in the car with you. I think you were driving. I was driving. over or something and she essentially saved her life and your life by stopping and recognizing it you went to the hospital you had a stroke and it's been a two-year recovery of I saw you last time and I was you know I was really sad of you know your physical well-being because I want to see you healthy but you you've had a pretty positive attitude, I think, in the last couple of years. I'm curious, what has been the biggest lesson for you with going through a massive stroke where it's hindered your relationships, where it's hindered your physical activity, your ability to work on the things you're passionate about?
Starting point is 00:06:01 What's been the big lessons? Well, I'm'm very driven person so i wasn't going to let this defeat me because the alternative was was losing hope and becoming suicidal and i wasn't going to let that happen also i knew i had another book that i really really wanted to write so i had to keep living you know and i was in a coma for a while and things were a little bit touch and go during that and I feel like there was something willed inside of me unconsciously that kept me alive. The other weird thing is I spent a lot of my time alone, swimming, hiking, riding. It just so happened just by coincidence that I was driving when my wife was there.
Starting point is 00:06:43 And so I have a feeling that I kind of almost was ready to have my stroke once she was there. I can't say that for sure. These are, you know, weird kind of psychic almost kind of thoughts. But I felt like there was some willpower in me that was keeping me alive so I could keep going. But the main lesson was it's been a struggle. I can't say it's been easy. I can't like lie and say I've just figured it all out and I'm this incredible superhuman being. I've had moments where I've cried. I've had moments where I felt like giving up.
Starting point is 00:07:18 It's like a daily struggle. And other people, you know, I know a lot of people in this world suffer. They have it a lot worse than I do. I have a comfortable life. I have a lot of people in this world suffer they have it a lot worse than i do i have my comfortable life i have a lot of money i have my books etc but on the level of like my body just every day has been a struggle you know i wake up can i walk will i fall can i hold this in my hand so dependent on other people and a very independent person so I've had to really really work on myself and really develop a lot of patients which I don't have and the thing is when you get an illness like this or something happens like that the natural thing is just sort of wait it out and
Starting point is 00:08:01 wait until your body recovers and people said i would have a full recovery two years down the line or so so the tendency would be just to let it go and let time take its healing process but i wouldn't let that i don't know why but i was like no i'm gonna work out every single day i'm gonna do therapy two or three hours a day i bought a special bicycle because i can't do a normal bicycle. It's a recumbent bike where you sit down. Man, it's like the hardest thing. You have to get up these incredible hills
Starting point is 00:08:31 and like 80-year-old grandmothers are whizzing by me on their bicycle. This is outdoors. Outdoors in Griffin Park, yeah. Wow. But I'm just determined to beat the thing. And sometimes it beats me. So every day it's like a battle.
Starting point is 00:08:46 It's like a boxing match. Who's going to win? But I'm not going to give up. I just keep trying and trying. I'm going to see a new therapist. I'm working on new exercises. I'm working on different parts of my body. I'm trying to build strength in certain muscles so I can start walking normally.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Because as you know, working out, swimming and hiking and bicycling, that was like my main way of de-stressing. I loved it, I loved being out in nature, I loved being alone with my thoughts. And to have that ripped away, it was like having part of your whole body taken away from you.
Starting point is 00:09:22 But I'm pretty relentless, that's my lesson. I didn't give up. Which book of yours that you've written and the lesson in that book, have you had to lean back on more than any other lesson or principle from all the books? Which one is like really, ah, that's interesting that I wrote about this five years ago and now I really need to apply it? Well, the last three books would be more applicable. So there's the book with 50 Cent, The 50th Law, which is about fear and overcoming your fear. And in fact, the last chapter was about the fear of death in that book.
Starting point is 00:09:54 And I've had to deal with a lot of fear. You don't know what it's like every day you're walking and you don't know the next moment you're going to fall. I've had several falls and falls are literally what will do you it so it's constant fear and I just won't let it affect me I push past my limits I do things that I'm not supposed to do I take hikes even though I have to hold on to somebody to do it people think I'm crazy so I had to deal with my fear mastery taught me that repetition doing something over and over and
Starting point is 00:10:26 over again like any kind of skill learning a skill like basketball whatever leads to something so every day just using my left hand instead of my right hand forcing myself and slowly getting used to it that taught me a lot And then the laws of human nature, you know, I have a, one thing that when you have a stroke, it affected the right side of my brain, which destroyed the left side of my body. And supposedly when the right side of your brain is damaged, it tends to make you more emotional. And I've definitely become more emotional. So I've had to learn to control some of my anger, some of my impatience, some of my frustration. And obviously the laws of human nature are a lot about that. And the last chapter is about having to deal with death.
Starting point is 00:11:15 And so with all of the things I'm dealing with and all the kind of, God damn it, why can't I do that? I have to keep reminding myself I'm alive. I'm going to write another book. The birds are out there chirping. It could have been a much different story. Last month, six weeks ago, was the second year anniversary of the stroke. And I had this thought, this could have been the second anniversary of my death. Wow.
Starting point is 00:11:40 And people would be like gathering together. Or maybe they would, maybe they wouldn't. But it would be like the anniversary of my death. But it's not. I've been given a second lease, and I have to think about that every single day. Isn't that crazy to think that when you die, hopefully people will think nice things about you, and every year they'll get together and say, hey, let's tell a nice story about our friend that we lost, hopefully. But isn't that crazy to think that someday we're going to die?
Starting point is 00:12:08 Yeah. And someday no one's going to remember us. It's a weird thought. And it's also like I wrote about this, I can't remember, I think it was in The 50th Law, where enough time passes, nobody remembers you. No one. 200 years from now, no one will even know who Lewis Howes was or Robert Greene, you know? And so all traces of you are gone.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Yeah, it's a weird thought. You might be in a history book or something, maybe. Maybe. If the planet is still here. It's here, yeah. Yeah, that's true. But this is sort of what my next book is about. You have to be able to take every kind of negative experience or emotion in life
Starting point is 00:12:50 and find a way to transmute it into something healthy and positive. So how do you take that thought and turn it into something life-affirming and productive? And so my way is, okay, that very well very well maybe I better make the most of what the time that I have because in 200 years I'm nothing right also through my books I will have a life that will go on I will have a legacy work on that think about people reading you in the future so I use it any kind of negative thing this is sort of the idea of amor fati that I've talked about in my books Any bad thing that fate brings you you have to find a way it's like alchemy
Starting point is 00:13:32 Using the Philosopher's Stone you transform that into gold if you through a mental process How do you think we can transform ourselves into the P the person or the people we want to become when there only seems to be negative experiences in our life? I'm hearing you talk about transmuting negative into a positive. How can we truly transform ourselves into this desired dream life when it seems like everything is out to get me, the government isn't the way I want it to be, my friends are not the right friends, what do you think we can start to do to transform ourselves? Well, I would tell people to read chapter 8 of the laws of human nature
Starting point is 00:14:15 because I go deeply into that, which is the law about your attitude. And the idea is you have a viewpoint, a perspective. It's like the lens on a camera. And it's through that lens that you view the world and you view people and you view events. And no two people see the same event in the same way, right? And so, your attitude, how you look at the world will determine what you get in life. So, if you're focusing on all the obstacles, if you're focusing on the government, if you're focusing on COVID, if you're focusing on the government, if you're focusing on COVID, if you're focusing on this person didn't give me that thing, my parents didn't give me that thing,
Starting point is 00:14:50 that's you creating your attitude. You're building it. It's something, it's like a crystallization process. This crystal starts getting bigger and bigger and bigger as each new crystal is added. And you crystallize this negative defensive attitude towards life and that's what you're going to get and there's simple examples of that so if i'm if i'm kind of come to this interview and i'm sort of defensive and i don't really feel good about lewis i'm not sure what's going to happen you've picked that up on me because you're a very astute person you're very sensitive you pick it up and so you're not going to be very friendly to me so my initial attitude creates a reaction in you which is negative it starts for me but because most people are kind of paranoid and don't have that self
Starting point is 00:15:35 awareness they'll think god lewis is such an asshole pardon i don't know if i can get yeah yeah oh yeah i'm not on television he was such an asshole. He's so cold. Why is he? But it's coming from me. Interesting. And you're not realizing it. So you create how people react to you. You create how negative circumstances affect you. Yeah. Have you ever thought about your cellular health?
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Starting point is 00:17:06 can save $20 on a three-month supply by going to trueniagen.com slash greatness. That's T-R-U-N-I-A-G-E-N dot com slash greatness to save $20 on a three-month supply. trueniagen.com slash greatness. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. So, you know, we have COVID and jobs are being wiped out left, right, and center.
Starting point is 00:17:44 You're having to spend a lot of time alone at home. Your life has been massively disrupted, most people. And you can see this as like, God damn it, why did this have to happen? My life is ruined. I'm not going to go anywhere. Blah, blah, blah. You know, and you start maybe drink a little bit. You start putting on some pounds that covid
Starting point is 00:18:05 whatever they call it coven 15 or whatever 15 right well it's understandable it is a very devastating kind of bomb that exploded here but on the other hand you could say this is an opportunity i'm not trying to be pollyannish about it because i don't i'm not a pollyannish person as you know i wrote the 48 48 Laws of Power. And no one ever has to say that I'm Pollyannish after I wrote that book. But it's an opportunity. And the opportunity is, on many levels, to rethink your life, to rethink your values, to rethink where you're going, to rethink what your career should be, what your relationship to other people should be. It's a time to reorient yourself to who you are and what you like
Starting point is 00:18:50 and what your goals are and what makes you unique. It's a time to read books and enlighten yourself and enrich your mind. So if you take that attitude, then, I mean, Ryan Holiday wrote the best book on this subject i encourage people to read the obstacle is the way if you have that attitude where obstacles are actually the path forward nothing's going to stop you but it's all how you look at things it's kind of a mental process that you switch to seeing the positive side so a stroke is like the worst thing that happened to me it it
Starting point is 00:19:25 ruined someone but it's also been a blessing in some ways because it's really made me appreciate my life and appreciate the people around me and I'm now writing my seventh book and I you know I keep having this thought that I could die tomorrow because I you know I'm in a very vulnerable state for catching the coronavirus once you've had a stroke. It could happen. I've got to get this book done, man. I am so motivated. I'm working so hard on it because I see that this is my great opportunity to express something before I am dead. So it's really just that switch inside of that lens how you look at the world that will change
Starting point is 00:20:06 What you're just talking about. What are the greats in history? What are they done when? They lose a war they You know, they're a family member dies They go through a life-threatening condition. What are the great presidents, rulers, leaders of the past, what do they do in those moments of tragedy that allow them to bounce back and then rebound into something more powerful or greater than before? Is there common themes from the past that you've seen? Well, Abraham Lincoln faced a lot of that stuff. He dealt with a lot of death early on in his life with his parents and people around him
Starting point is 00:20:48 and he suffered some major setbacks. And then you can think of like Winston Churchill who also dealt, like he led a campaign, a war campaign during World War I that was a major disaster. He was in disgrace and he was a very manic depressive person and he became very, very depressed and he bounced back. A lot of it is getting back to your attitude and towards thinking a particular way. So defeat and failure is the greatest thing that could ever happen to you. To say it again? Defeat or failure is the greatest thing that could ever happen to you. Why? Because when you're
Starting point is 00:21:34 successful, you tend to not learn anything. You think, wow, my book, my business got so much, did so well. I've got the Midas touch anything i do is going to be great and look i've got all these people around me these sycophants say robert you're wonderful you're great i love what you did your book's fantastic etc etc and slowly slowly i don't learn anything and then my next project is a disaster because i've become grandiose because I'm not really moored in reality failure teaches you your limits it makes you realize what you did wrong it shows you what you could do differently you know so making it a personal example cuz it's always easier for me to do that I did a book with 50 Cent called The 50th Law. And the first iteration of that book I wrote.
Starting point is 00:22:28 And I've never had this happen before. People weren't really liking it. And then the editor, the publisher, dropped the whole project. And I was facing a major disgrace. 50 was going to lose faith in me. I lost a project. And it was a big blow to my ego. And we all have egos.
Starting point is 00:22:47 And so we found a new publisher. And he said, Robert, we'll do the book. But you've got to rethink it. And I need this book in eight months. And I go, you want me to start all over after a year working on this book? And you want it in eight months? No way. But then I realized, okay, what is it that I did wrong and he said you didn't make the book a Robert
Starting point is 00:23:10 Greene book you made it too much about 50 cent people want to read you they want to read about your your ideas they don't want it to be so much about him they wanted a combination of the two but you were you were you were being too humble here and i go okay and i listened to him and i wrote the next book and it took me i i worked like a fiend and i got it done in eight months and i took every lesson to heart about how i can fail and it taught me very valuable lessons about the books that i write and how i need to have faith in my style and my ideas and not worry that if I'm working with a celebrity that I have to give him all the attention. Failure taught me this.
Starting point is 00:23:53 And success didn't teach me anything. So failure or defeat, you know, great generals in battle, that's what they would learn. But the greatest general in history, I believe, was Napoleon Bonaparte. And Napoleon Bonaparte had 10 years of the greatest success anyone's ever had in military history from 1796 to 1806. He was on the top of the world. He crowned himself emperor. And then he had eight years or 10 years of most abysmal failures. It's because it all went to his head. He lost touch with who he was. He lost touch with his own military strategies that were grounded in success. He became too conservative. That's the other thing that
Starting point is 00:24:38 success will do. It'll make you conservative. You have to hold on to what you've done and keep repeating it and the world success and and great things happen by being not conservative by being open with your ideas and challenging yourself and always trying something new and being willing to change so that's i think the lessons there What would you say are three questions we should ask ourselves when we face some type of tragedy, some type of big loss, failure, near-death experience, breakup, what do you think? You said you started becoming introspective and asking yourself and changing your attitude.
Starting point is 00:25:18 What three questions should we ask ourselves? Well, I don't know if I can get to three, but I'll start with the one. The first one is could it have been worse could it have been worse it could have been worse or well you're asking me for questions yeah yeah could it have been worse yeah I mean let's say um you know I broke up with the girlfriend and she had very embarrassing pictures of me and she posted them all over the internet.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Well, thank God that didn't happen. Or I could have died. That's always the last one you always say. Could have been worse. I could be dead, right? As long as you have your body and your mind together, you can recover. I tell people, and you can recover from the worst possible disaster,
Starting point is 00:26:03 even public humiliation, you can recover from. Because fortunately, nowadays, people have short memories, and they'll always remember your last success. So things are never as dire as they appear to be. So it's, could it have been worse? Or what is the worst scenario that could have happened? Well, luckily, that didn't happen. Yeah. that could have happened well luckily that didn't happen yeah the next question is like i would say what is the lesson i could learn from this so if it's a breakup with someone and i've been through
Starting point is 00:26:34 them we all have it's like instead of thinking that it was just putting blame on her or yourself was just putting blame on her or yourself it's thinking of was this the right person for me there's going to be someone else right first of all maybe i wasn't actually the right person for her and maybe i was partially to blame for this so what can i learn about relationships going forward and what can i learn about what i want from a relationship maybe i want something a little more stable or maybe i need something a little more exciting to sort of see to be future oriented and that's really critical because i talk a lot of people who are going through hard times with coven is always being future oriented so we tend when we're in the moment of a bad thing, like a breakup or a failure,
Starting point is 00:27:27 or you know, like something, like a disaster, is we're so enmeshed in the moment. And when enmeshed in the moment, things seem much larger than they are, right? Seems so big. Right. But with time and distance, if you look back two years ago,
Starting point is 00:27:43 it doesn't seem so big anymore right so you need some perspective and you need to understand that two years from now you'll be on to another business or you'll be on to another relationship and things will be much better so be future-oriented that's one of the key things key elements about people who are very successful in life. They're always sort of oriented towards the future. What's the next project? What am I going to be doing in five or ten years? As opposed to obsessed with the past, I think people who have the hardest time in life
Starting point is 00:28:17 are so obsessed with the past. That scumbag, he destroyed me. He ruined my last project. They hold on to the all this this crap right they're so weighed down by the past their parents they whine they complain people who are future oriented it's i'm on to the next thing it's like they say in basketball next man up our star player was injured all right next player come player, come on, let's just go. We've got to win this game, right? So that's sort of the thing is being future-oriented and thinking like that.
Starting point is 00:28:50 It's really hard when you're in the moment of stress or breakup or chaos or you get fired from your job. You feel like it's such a big deal. It's so messy. It's so painful. It's hard to think outside of that moment when you're in it i went to a breakup a cup almost two years ago and i remember feeling like ah this is like this kind of sucks it's in the moment you know people are judging you and i just kept saying to myself over
Starting point is 00:29:15 and over again i'm gonna have hindsight now i think this is it i was like this is around january time i was like this might be like six to eight weeks of some drama or whatever, just gossip. Let me think it's gonna be New Year's Eve one year from today. Exactly. Like, what's the lesson I'm gonna learn from this experience?
Starting point is 00:29:33 Exactly. How much stronger am I gonna be? How much more humility will I have? Right. You know, maybe I'll connect with someone new that'll be a better relation. You know, all these things. I just kept saying, anytime I felt like the moment
Starting point is 00:29:44 was bigger than me, let me have hindsight now in a year six months two years i'm gonna be on to something else and people will either move on with me or move out of my life that's the perfect example is exactly what i'm saying yeah i mean honestly it's hard as you said in the moment right it's very hard and so you can't beat yourself up you can't like god damn it why am i like this why can't i just be like robert or louis said i'm not like that yeah so at when things first happen and they're bad i beat myself up for several weeks but it only lasts for several weeks and then i pick myself back up. So be patient and understand that right after something bad, you're going to be depressed. It's okay to be depressed. It's okay to feel bad
Starting point is 00:30:31 about yourself, to even blame yourself, but you're going to pick yourself up and be patient about it. You know, it's a process. How important is expressing emotions and feelings of the greats that you've studied or the people you've been around? Do they express their emotions and feelings of the greats that you've studied or the people you've been around do they express their emotions and feelings publicly do they do it privately do they journal do they suppress their emotions and just act and just have a positive attitude all the time what do you think is the importance or lack of importance well i think everybody's different but in general if my knowledge of psychology and all the books I've read is that you pay a price for repressing your emotions. That repressing something eventually comes out.
Starting point is 00:31:13 And the great psychologist Carl Jung, he was the one who kind of studied that in great depth. When you repress, for instance, your dark side or your dark emotions, they come out in other ways, right? your dark side or your dark emotions they come out in other ways right so trying to always like present yourself as this very stoic person when in fact you're not you're going to pay a price for it it's going to come out in ways you can't control right there's going to be a negative consequences to that and so on the other hand you don't want to be this person who's constantly emoting and telling everybody what you feel like it's very irritating you have no self-control and people are judging you yeah you look like this weak person who can't control your own tongue you can't control yeah okay so i compare it in my books and in in talks to the metaphor of the rider and the horse right so you're right the
Starting point is 00:32:06 rider of the horse is your rational brain and the horse is your emotion it's the animal part of you it's what makes you angry or excited or fearful the rider is what makes you kind of you know get get things done yeah if the rider on that horse I don't know if people have been a horse I used to ride a lot when I was a kid. If you hold the reins too tightly, if you're trying to control the horse and repress it, the horse feels it. It feels it in the way your thighs are constricting it. Horses are very sensitive animals, right? And it won't do anything. It won't follow any of your instructions. It won't go anywhere. anywhere or it will freak out and will run far away and it'll throw you off the horse but if you just let the horse go anywhere the horse also feels that the horse has been tamed to some extent because this guy has i have no respect for him
Starting point is 00:32:55 right he's not trying to do anything and the horse will go wherever it wants you have no control people who know how to ride horses they know they have to have a balance you have to hold the reins not too tightly but you have to be able to guide the horse. You have to squeeze with the thighs, but not too tightly. You have to feel relaxed and one with the horse. The horse then gives in and you can go anywhere. So you want a balance in life. You want to be able to understand your emotions, right?
Starting point is 00:33:23 You want to be able to understand why you're angry, why you're fearful, why you're frustrated, and not just give into the emotion, like let the horse go anywhere, so that maybe next time you understand, well, maybe I don't need to feel anger or fear because it's not really related to anything. So you have a balance.
Starting point is 00:33:41 You understand the horse, the emotion, and you can control it to some degree but not over control it or repress it because like i know if i get angry a lot i have ang i could have anger issues right um the moments where i give in to it i regret i sent that angry email to my agent oh man the next day you feel bad yeah do you apologize a lot after you're angry or do you just kind of say i'm just a grumpy old man now just like well i am a grumpy old man but yeah i do apologize oh that's nice apologies are good it's a good thing to do yeah um but yeah i feel terrible right and so you have to go through a process like before you send that email why am i angry
Starting point is 00:34:24 do your hindsight thing will I be feeling angry in three weeks no is it really important is it possibly my own fault when you go through that process you're not repressing the anger you're not pushing it down so then it explodes three days later when you yell at somebody who inadvertently crosses your path that's what happens you impress it but you understand it and you let it work for you you know okay I won't write that angry email but then you can use your anger for other things like writing a book right etc or believing in some social cause that's important yeah
Starting point is 00:34:57 cetera so it's a balance I'm curious about 48 laws of power and laws of human nature this is probably a hard question but I'm gonna about 48 laws of power and laws of human nature. This is probably going to be a hard question, but I'm going to throw it out there anyways. What was your favorite law from the 48 laws of power pre-stroke? And what would you say is your favorite one now? And same for human nature. Favorite kind of law of human nature pre-stroke that you're like this is the thing i'm a season my life that i really i'm connected to and now something that you lean on or connect to in a different way
Starting point is 00:35:36 wow that's a tough question it's hot i get i mean there's somebody. Yeah. Well. First thing that comes to mind, maybe. Well, for me, for the 48 Laws of Power, this will be kind of symmetrical. But Law No. 1 was always like the most important one to me, Never Outshine the Master, because it was the first law. It was the first successful book I ever had. When I first pitched it to the man who who produced the book I told him the story that initiated the the map never outshine the master
Starting point is 00:36:12 and I had personally violated that law on several occasions and it caused me a lot of misery and pain in my life why why what why why did they cause you a lot of misery and pain by violating the law? Well, this is before I wrote the book. So I had a job in the film business, in a television show, with a very famous person whose name I will not mention. And I was a researcher on it. And I was the best researcher there by far. You count success by how many stories you found and what got actually filmed.
Starting point is 00:36:47 And yours got filmed the most? I had like a 60% rate or something like that. Wow. I knew I was the best and then I got fired. Why? Because you were outshining the master.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Well, at the time I thought she hated my guts. I pissed somebody off. I said the wrong thing. And I was capable of sometimes doing that because i could have an attitude and i was blaming other people etc but then you know it's sort of sort of dawning on me and then later when i wrote the book it was very clear to me that i had inadvertently made her think that i was felt greater than she was that i was after her job
Starting point is 00:37:22 other people were really praising me and not praising her so much I was getting too much attention and it happened another time a second time right I wasn't controlling myself and so that law had a lot meant a lot to me because it was very painful being fired it's a very painful experience I don't know if you've ever been through that no I haven't really no I mean I'm not a job oh I mean I guess I mean actually I did get I got fired once by getting in a fistfight on a golf course as a ground I was a grounds crew kid when I was like 14 13 and we were playing around this is a long story we were playing around like throwing leaves at each other
Starting point is 00:38:05 and someone punched me in the back of the neck as I'm like throwing leaves at him. So we're raking up like leaves and grass on the golf course. He punched me in the back of the neck and then I just went crazy and got in a fist fight. And we got in two fights, real fights in my life, that was one of them.
Starting point is 00:38:18 And we walked back, I walked back to the, kind of the grounds crew shed and washed my knuckles off because they were bleeding. And I was just high on adrenaline. And the kid who I got in a fight with walks back a couple minutes after me. And I couldn't recognize his face. You punched him in that pat? I mean, it was just like, it was an animalistic reaction when someone punched me.
Starting point is 00:38:41 It was just like, you know, I i mean it only lasted for maybe 10 seconds and then someone took took us off there was other people around and kind of broke it up but it just kind of hit him in the right spot i guess and he kind of swelled over his eye looked like a soft on his eye and i was just like wow and it was really the first time i feel like i had any power as a 13 year old and the grounds crew like leader or the the boss saw him walk up kind of yelling at me. And he just goes, you're fired. And he writes a check and gives it to him. And he's like, get out of here.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Never come back. And I was like, so that was my only moment. That was law number one being never punch a colleague. Exactly. Never punch anyone. But for you, it was stressful and emotional getting fired? Yeah. I mean, you take it personally, et cetera. And you were you, it was stressful and emotional getting fired? Yeah. I mean, you take it personally, et cetera.
Starting point is 00:39:28 And you were like, I was the best. I was. I mean, I haven't had many jobs. I didn't stay at a job more than a year my whole life. But whenever I had a job, I worked very hard at it. And I was very conscientious. So that was very painful. But don't you want to...
Starting point is 00:39:44 I would think if someone's excelling on my team, I'd be like, celebrate them and keep going. Wouldn't you want that? Or do you not want people to? Well, Lewis, come on. Wouldn't you want people to accelerate? You didn't read chapter, law number one. People have egos. I understand, but. Yeah, in a perfect world where angels were everywhere and we all just had wings and we
Starting point is 00:40:09 were all just all out for other people and for the greater good. Yeah. Right. But we happen to live in this planet that's not like that. I know. We're descended from primates. We're much different from that. So how do you.
Starting point is 00:40:20 People have egos. How do you grow without, with like, how do you improve in a career but not outshine too much so you stay in the career i guess well you have to read law number one but um you know you have to first understand a very basic principle of human psychology yeah everybody has an ego and everybody you meet is insecure they have insecurities okay but your boss the person above you has even more insecurities and a larger ego than other people and you don't think so you you're probably aware that they have an ego but you don't think they have insecurities because they're the boss you know but actually they're always worried about whether people like them
Starting point is 00:41:04 whether people respect them whether the people think they're doing a good job or actually they're always worried about whether people like them whether people respect them whether the people think they're doing a good job or not they're riddled with doubts and they're constantly and they're constantly looking out for people to see though their body language etc does that guy really respect me does he have an attitude etc you don't think that you think if i just try hard to please the boss it will will work out wonderfully. But, you might be doing something else. You might be stirring up their insecurities. So, you have to always be aware in life of people's insecurities. It's like lesson number one.
Starting point is 00:41:37 It's going to save you a lot of painful moments. The people you deal with are riddled with doubts. They're riddled with fears. They have things hanging over them from childhood. They're wondering about themselves. And you inadvertently are feeding their insecurities, and you never intended to. And then you find, wow, look what happened. And you don't even understand why it happened that way.
Starting point is 00:41:59 So when you're fired for outshining the Master, you don't know why you were fired. And it's very hard to learn a lesson when you don't know why you were fired it's very hard to learn a lesson when you don't know why it happened that's what's so complicated and tricky about people because when people do something that's kind of harsh and negative they never tell you why they're doing it they always have a cover story a narrative right they have a way of deflecting it as if they aren't to blame and so you're're confused. That's why I wrote The Laws of Human Nature, because you're continually confused, because people never tell you what they're really doing,
Starting point is 00:42:30 why they're motivated, why they behave such a way. And you take their words and their appearance for reality, and it's not reality. So, you know, that's the source of so much of your painful experiences in life. Okay, so Law No. 1, Never one never outshine the master was uh the law that you were really leaning into pre-stroke is there one post-stroke that you think about that that sticks to you more that connects you in a different way now yeah i would say assume formlessness which is law number 48 so that's why I said the symmetry. Ooh, look at you.
Starting point is 00:43:06 I like this. And that's all about kind of being fluid and adapting to circumstances and never having like a concrete form. It's a very military law. It comes from Sun Tzu. And like the perfect army doesn't have a form. You can't figure out where they are, what their strategy is. Their strategy has no form. Or the great swordsman Miyamoto Musashi said that, you know, nobody ever knew what my strategy would be.
Starting point is 00:43:35 I was completely formless. So it's a way of being very fluid in life and very open. And never doing the same thing twice and adapting your certain year what you do to the circumstances around you and when you have a stroke you know it's not easy to do that right because your body certainly isn't capable of being fluid so your mind has to be fluid I have to retrain myself from not getting stuck in certain ideas and certain patterns of thinking, certain negative things and certain frustrations and certain ways of looking at the world. I have to be fluid and take each day as it comes and adapt myself to this new body that I have.
Starting point is 00:44:17 So I think about that law a lot. How does someone, you know, you have a book on mastery. someone you know you have a book on mastery how does someone master the art of something if they're always trying something new every day or if they're always formless and reinventing themselves every day or you know what i mean from these the swordsman you're saying it's like he was always in a new strategy but if you want to master something you typically have to do something over and over to master it correct yeah well that's the thing about my books and about the laws. They're about circumstances. So I'm not saying assume formlessness for all you people out there
Starting point is 00:44:52 who are 18 years old or about to enter the work world or 21. Just be formless. No. Master something and then when you've mastered multiple things, you can adapt. Miyamoto Musashi was fighting for 20 years as a swordsman in life and death battles and he eventually developed this power of his right but if he were formless without ever having any experience he would have been killed in his first sword fight so you know you have to have discipline you have to assume like this is what i'm doing and like this is my career path as you talk about as you mentioned in mastery and you have to assume, like, this is what I'm doing and this is my career path, as you talk about, as you mentioned in mastery.
Starting point is 00:45:26 And you have to put in the hours, the 10,000, the 20,000 hours. And then when you get to the level of a master, like a Bobby Fischer in chess, then you can do anything you want. You're on another level. You can be as formless as possible. Right? So, yeah, you're right. I'm not advocating that for just anybody out there but for me in my situation yeah after i've had you know the success and it's also for people who've suffered a major
Starting point is 00:45:54 blow like that like an illness or something where your habits of thinking can get very set and very rigid where every day you wake up and go wow why do i have to be like this why couldn't it happen this differently as opposed to being open to what life brings me every single day and not developing a kind of a defensive rigid attitude one of the things that i love about your journey and story is that you mastered so many different types of writing over 20 30 years i think you were like first in a newspaper and then a magazine and then screenwriting and then certain types of books and then weird,
Starting point is 00:46:31 you know, you did all these different styles of writing that you tried a lot of things, mastered them to a certain point, which gave you the range to kind of write in the way you do now. It gave you the ability to write the way you do now, which I think is interesting. So I like that you say that when you're in your 20s,
Starting point is 00:46:48 like find something to hang on to, to master for a few years, then you can go to the next thing and that'll give you more range. Well, I don't know if I can remember my metaphor, but it's like you want a path in life when you're 20, 21, 22, but you don't want it to be so rigid
Starting point is 00:47:07 because you're going to burn out you're going to get bored and you're going to give up you want that path to be like that instead of like this so you can go this way you can go this way you go this way and go this way but if your path is like that you'll never find anything because you'll try everything so i knew i was to be a writer and I tried eight different forms of writing you know you want to be a musician you try writing music you try learning an instrument you try performing yeah producing you go into entertainment a lawyer as a music lawyer whatever you try different things but you know this is what I love in life if you have no idea what you're gonna love and I get idea with that because I help
Starting point is 00:47:49 consult with people who come to me with that very issue Robert I don't know what my life's task is I never had any education when I was a kid that's the worst situation to be in there are ways to solve that but that's really that's really painful because you have no idea where to go. But you want to have a sense, but you want to be fluid and open so that eventually what happens is you hit upon the right thing, right? And most of us are never going to hit the right thing at 25. No. I was 36, 37, your age.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Wow. When it happened. So maybe I'll start to feel like I'm hitting the right thing soon. Yeah. You found it out a little earlier. You found it out like eight years ago. Yeah, I think so. But I think it's always evolving and growing and you know, you got to be fluid with it. So it's funny because I'm, I've been consistent with the main thing, which I started a podcast almost eight years ago. And I said, I'm going to do it once a week for a year and see how it goes see if I like it learn but I got to be consistent enough for a year then I did twice a week for the second year now we've done three a week for the last five six years I guess now and I've been consistent in
Starting point is 00:48:59 one thing trying to improve you see me from the first episode to now in the different stages the leveling out the production, the set, this, you know, everything, the audio quality, video, all these different things, my skills, but also I wrote a book. I'd never done that before. We did live events. It's like, I'm trying new things as well that I'm not that good at that start, but we start to master them over time to create more range and diversity so but i'm still sticking to the main thing is the main thing right and evolving as i go so yeah that's the perfect way to do it because you know you need challenges in life you do um so you know i always look at it
Starting point is 00:49:39 this way if you're you're here this is your skill level a challenge like here is going to really improve you if the challenge is here it's too much you'll fail and it'll have bad consequences if you're here and you're below your level you're going to get bored so the optimum thing is to always choose your next project that's a little bit above you so you can learn and feel excited and challenged and have that that adrenaline rush from trying to meet the challenge and get there and all your energy is involved so that's the proper way to do things in life for me so what about the laws of human nature what was one that you that you were like oh this is my law this is the one that i love the most right now for whatever reason pre
Starting point is 00:50:22 stroke to the one now that you think about more is important for your life well um my favorite chapter was kind of about the dark side of human nature the shadow confront your dark side and make it work for you as opposed to repressing it right so everybody has a dark side i don't care if you're mahatma gandhi or or whomever you have a dark side right and um it comes out in ways that you're not even aware of and i explain in the book where our dark side originates from. You know, as a child, we had a lot of powerful emotions that we couldn't control. We would hit our sister. We would play terrible practical jokes. I'm not talking personally. I do the same thing, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:16 Terrible practical jokes. We'd be kind of mean and aggressive, but also we'd be very loving, which is true as well. We'd be a full range of things. Aggressive, but also we'd be very loving which is true as well would be a full range of things and then you learn as you get Older Robert you can't hit people in school. Stop that don't be like that. Don't play those practical jokes It's bad. People don't like it and you get older and older and you start Repressing that those kind of feelings that are very natural to you, right? Because we all have aggressive impulses We all we love our parents, but there's also a side of us that doesn't like them. We resent them. It's natural. But we have
Starting point is 00:51:52 to repress all that because we have to be good social animals. We have to be good little kids. We have to be little angels at school. We have to be angels at work. All this pressure, like, I've got to repress all that. I've got to to be this perfect person I have to be someone who pleases who's very nice blah blah blah and then when you're 28 you start becoming addicted to alcohol you don't know why you start getting really angry have anger issues you yell at people you don't know why you you're like a 45 year old person with a very steady profession you leave your wife and you run off with a 19-year-old, you know, destroying everything that you've built, the dark side has come out because you've repressed it instead of dealing with it.
Starting point is 00:52:34 So, the idea was you need to understand your dark side, confront it, and make it work for you. And I have a dark side. You know, every chapter in side I mean you know every chapter in the book you know sometimes now I think that my answer wasn't the right answer but I'll go with it anyway it's all good um in writing the book I kept having to say over a chapter on narcissism Robert you're a narcissist you know I read a chapter on on on the dark side Robert you have a dark side
Starting point is 00:53:04 the same thing with the chapter on aggression and like what is the dark side. I go, Robert, you have a dark side. The same thing with the chapter on aggression. And like, what is my dark side? And, you know, I had to analyze it and deal with it and think about it and think about how I, my, any success I've had in life is because I managed to use those dark emotions in my work and channeled them because they have tremendous energy to them. They power you forward. So I had anger coming out of working in Hollywood. I kind of hated the environment. I hated people's hypocrisy. I hated all the sycophancy and all that. I was really angry, but I didn't let the anger turn inward. I channeled it into the 48 laws of power.
Starting point is 00:53:49 So I used my dark side. And I really liked that law because it showed me that I'm a victim of this, but I also unconsciously learned how to use what I'm writing about. So I kind of drew on my own experience. Yeah. I love that you talk about this because there's so many great artists that write songs that become Hits and you know big best-selling books and movies out of pain right out of a breakup out of a drug addiction out of rehab
Starting point is 00:54:14 out of whatever this painful thing that happens to them and they Express from their pain and it somehow connects to other people in the world to their pain and becomes a hit whatever be song or Video or movie? to other people in the world to their pain and becomes this hit whatever be a song or video or movie do you think anger resentment frustration is a greater power to create over love or if we came from a place of love could it be that much more powerful our creation well that's a great question and it really depends on who you are. You know, sometimes those dark energies have more kind of power behind them. They impel you. They do. And love, it just kind of melts.
Starting point is 00:54:59 Love doesn't necessarily make you want to write a book although it it can but for me personally i'm speaking from personal experience it wasn't love that made me want to write a book it was anger and bitterness right i'll show you yeah yeah i'll show you mentality whereas you know i love this yeah it's not gonna and the reason why that happens is people in our day-to-day life are so repressed we have to be so politically correct yeah we have to be so pleasant and smiling etc that when your work expresses anger or expresses pain people love it they're drawn to it because finally someone's expressing what I'm feeling, but no one else is talking about it.
Starting point is 00:55:48 You know? Right? That's powerful, yeah. Yeah. You know the person that I think a lot about in the dark side is Kobe Bryant. I was going to talk to him about it if I could have. Because he confessed this. He had a lot of dark energy.
Starting point is 00:56:03 He had a lot of anger. And he was so competitive. He wanted to crush you on the basketball court and he spoke of it in those terms. It wasn't like a friendly little basketball game. This was war. But like Michael Jordan, he transmitted, he channeled this energy into being a good teammate and to just defeating the other team, working as a good player, a colleague with his teammates. But he learned to channel it. Early on, it kind of destroyed him a little bit. It kind of ruined his relationship with Shaq in a way.
Starting point is 00:56:37 But then he learned that that dark and that anger, et cetera, was the source of his power. It's kind of like Star Wars and jedi type thing you know and how you you use that that dark energy and transform it into something positive do you think there's a basketball player or an athlete or someone who could not have dark energy and anger could have love who could be just like i'm just grateful for my my family my wife, my kids, my health. And I'm just going to go out and channel my gifts to serve, to inspire, because I love the sport. Do you think there's... No. No.
Starting point is 00:57:16 You think anger is the way. It's like learning to channel anger. Anger and competitiveness and ambition and the desire to win you know is a very powerful motivating factor very powerful you know
Starting point is 00:57:30 maybe if you're an ice skater or in a sport like that where you're working in pairs and something
Starting point is 00:57:37 dancing or yeah you don't maybe want to have that kind of issue I can get that but like football
Starting point is 00:57:43 or basketball or even baseball you know i don't think so and all the the grades that i've studied all are pretty much a very similar profile and there have been examples of players who don't have that that drive who are more kind of into being friendly and nice and loving and they don't go nearly as far i'm afraid say it. The greatest players, LeBron James is probably the greatest player now. You're from Cleveland, right? I'm from Columbus, but Ohio. Ohio.
Starting point is 00:58:11 It's all the same. We're Ohio, yeah. Are you a Laker fan? I'm a Laker fan now because of LeBron. Okay. I'm a LeBron fan. Okay. Well, me too now.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Yeah. But that guy is driven. Driven. Right? You can see it in his face. He doesn't want to lose. He's not going out there with love in his heart. I mean, he's a very generous person.
Starting point is 00:58:28 He's a very loving person outside basketball. But on the court, no, I don't think so. He's an animal. Yeah, he's an animal on the court. It's interesting because I was very anger-driven from my teens to my 20s. Maybe a little bit in my early 30 30s I was driven by anger to compete to be the best to win but it always left me it left me achieving and accomplishing and kind of proving people wrong but it always left me feeling like still unfulfilled inside how can someone be
Starting point is 00:58:59 driven by anger or frustration bitterness and achieve and feel peace at the same time is that possible yeah because that's not the goal in in it is not like beating other people and humiliating them that's the dark side and that's giving into the dark side the goal is to be the best at your sport to win a championship and then to give back to the community, to make a lot of money and then donate a lot of it, or become, you know, like LeBron has done with the schools in Ohio, etc., to be a good role model. But when you reach the top, you have that luxury.
Starting point is 00:59:38 And so it's more like, what are you doing this for? So when I had my 48 laws of pride, I'm sorry to talk always about myself, which is kind of the narcissist in me. It's all good. I admit it. You know, it wasn't about making fun of all those Hollywood executives who I just liked, then it wouldn't have been the book that it was. It was I want to help people. I want to use my energy, my frustrations to show people that they don't have to suffer the way I suffer,
Starting point is 01:00:06 other people suffer in the work world. These are the laws of power. You don't have to be so naive. You can understand that you don't need to ever outshine the master. So I was able to put my energy in there and get some of my ya-ya's out in doing it, but for a higher purpose, to help people. Right. I think that's the difference right yeah and so i tell people you feel anger but there's a lot of injustice in this world particularly nowadays right a lot of things are just wrong in this world today and if i were young i would my anger would be exploding because there's so much that's wrong channel Channel it into a worthy cause, into justice, into leading some kind of
Starting point is 01:00:46 movement. That's a brilliant way to take your dark energy and metamorphose it into something really positive. Believe it or not, because in my last book, Martin Luther King was one of my heroes that I wrote about. He had some of those frustrations and some of that anger. You know, he grew up in Atlanta where there wasn't as much racism because he was in a relatively good neighborhood. His father was a preacher. He saw racism, but he was a little bit shielded from it. And then he had his first encounters,
Starting point is 01:01:17 particularly when he went up north to, like, Boston. Believe it or not, it was in the north that he had his first real encounters. He had a few before that. And then he's like, God god he was really angry about it really it really was an eye-opener and he learned that he couldn't give into that kind of emotion what he was going to do with his life is he was going to use it to help blacks in the south he's going to return to the south his path he thought was to stay in in Boston New England because it was like cushy and cetera but then he realized no I've got to take all this
Starting point is 01:01:49 bitterness that I feel and I've got to go back to the south and the risk of my own life and help my my people you know so mm-hmm working for a cause is probably the best way you can channel some of that dark energy so how do we be angry about a cause but not being a prisoner to that thing that that unjust thing that's happening in the word the world is there a way we can still like be angry and in movement and creation mode but not be a prisoner to that situation what would be what would being a prisoner mean? I think like allowing it
Starting point is 01:02:29 to affect you emotionally, to consume you, to control you, to make you focused on that thing all the time as opposed to just being alive. Well, it's where your energy is. Is it about you?
Starting point is 01:02:40 Is it about you and your emotions and your anger? Or is it about helping people and about the your anger or is it about helping people and about the cause so is it for something greater than yourself if it's for something greater than yourself then you're not a prisoner of it because you're you know you're you're getting outside your own ego and you're actually actually working to help people okay but i can tell you a lot of social movements and revolutions if you want to call it, or reform movements, they peter out because they lose energy.
Starting point is 01:03:10 They lose a drive. The initial impetus sort of isn't quite there. And you've got to be able to keep it alive. How do you keep it alive? Because you feel nothing has changed. The injustice is there. I mean, look at someone like Martin Luther King, what he had to put up with constantly.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Constant failures, constant rejection. He dealt with so much envy. It was insane. Even people within the movement were constantly belittling and criticizing him. But he kept his eyes focused on the greater prize, the ultimate goal, which is what you want to focus on but you have to use that energy or it's going to peter out because life will wear you away you'll get older
Starting point is 01:03:52 you relax you don't want to you know you don't want to have to spend so much time doing this you know and you you get soft and and the energy dries up and you need that energy every time I write a book I'm starting from ground zero and I'm going okay Robert what's going to motivate you what's like something that really irritates you and it makes you angry and pissed off right yeah okay because now feeling that you're going to get over that mountain of writing the book and you're going to feel every time you write a chapter, you're going to feel that emotional kind of thing in your gut and you're going to express it. But I'm not doing it for me. It's because I know it's going to help people, you know.
Starting point is 01:04:36 Yeah. So for my new book, I'm really frustrated and irritated by how limited people are about their thinking. I'm not blaming people because i have the same problem it's like the world is this insanely awesome thing to be alive do you know what it means to be alive do you know what everything had to fall into you know go back to the big bang which is what i'm writing about now and all the little pieces that had to fall into place for life even happen on Earth. And then for animals and then for a giant asteroid to hit Earth some 70 million years ago so the dinosaurs are wiped out. You wouldn't be here.
Starting point is 01:05:16 Lewis wouldn't be here if your parents hadn't met. So your life is like this insanely unlikely thing that ever happened. Do you know how awesome it is? Do you know how awesome it is to look out and see stars in the sky or things around you? And people are not. They're locked in their little banal worlds of social media, etc. They're not opening their minds up to what it means to really be alive. And it makes me angry.
Starting point is 01:05:35 That's good. So, I'm going to write the book. What's the title of this book? Are you sharing that yet or no? Yeah, The Law of the Sublime. So, it's about how we can think differently or how we can open our minds to possibilities? Yeah, it's to reanimate your soul
Starting point is 01:05:51 so you feel excited about things, so you feel like, you know when you were a child, you were curious about so many things, you were open to so many experiences, things were constantly wowing you, and then you become blase and kind of cynical you don't want new experiences because they kind of mess with your familiar patterns and then your life kind of closes and closes and closes and the sublime is opening your mind up as
Starting point is 01:06:19 far as possible as wide as possible and opening your mind and your spirit like that makes you more creative, makes you more energized, makes you a better human being, etc. And so, I have to write a book with a sense of purpose. I don't write books for money. I swear on the Bible, I do not write books for money. The money comes in and I'm very happy, it's comfortable, but I don't write going, what's the most marketable book I can do next it's like what do I need to express in this moment you know yeah what does sublime mean what is the definition well you really want to get into the weeds there um it comes from the latin word sublimin and there's several meanings of it, but the one that I like is
Starting point is 01:07:06 the limin is what's called a threshold. It's like a door that leads from one place to another, right? And sub means right up to. So sublime is right up to the limit. And the way I interpret it is that that door is death itself. On the other side is death. And so, I draw a kind of, I have a metaphor, it'll be through the book and on the cover, of a kind of a circle, right? And just, we tend to, our brains tend to work in these kind of conventional patterns, our minds,
Starting point is 01:07:39 our thoughts, etc., right? And that circle is the limits that we will not go past. We will not think thoughts beyond that. We'll stay in the circle. We won't go beyond it. Right. Just beyond it is this region of the sublime. And it goes in very different arrows. Each arrow is a chapter. But the main arrow is death itself. And when you go up to that door and you peer on the other side you see something that's going to shake you up that's that's going to transform you like it transformed me right you're going to realize how short your life is how weird it is to be alive the possibilities of what it means to actually die near-death experiences are pretty pretty awesome amazing things people have had near-death experiences are pretty awesome, amazing things.
Starting point is 01:08:27 People have had near-death experiences and they've been completely enlightened by them, right? And so that's the ultimate sublime experience is going up to that threshold of death itself. But there are other experiences that I'm going to be talking about as well. I'm excited about that. That'll be fun.
Starting point is 01:08:45 That'll be fun. What about the, I think you mentioned in the Laws of Human Nature, the first one, confront your dark side. What about the one you're thinking about more now that connects to you? Well, obviously, the chapter on death. You know, not so much now, but right after my stroke, because that was the last chapter, chapter 18. I finished it pretty much in May of 2018. And I poured a lot of energy into it because I kind of think a lot about mortality, etc. And I really thought and I did research and I put a lot into it and then
Starting point is 01:09:25 two and a half months later it happens after the book came out after I finished writing it after you finished writing the book hadn't come out yet gotcha like
Starting point is 01:09:35 what is the irony there the gods are somehow like messing with me right yeah because the fact that the stroke happened was like
Starting point is 01:09:43 a series of chains of events that were pretty unlikely. So it was almost like fated to happen, right? And so I had to reassess. All right, Robert, you wrote that. Is that really true? Is it really true that it alters how we look at other people? Yeah, it does. You were true. But what happened was the chapter was written from an intellectual position and the experience
Starting point is 01:10:11 was not intellectual. It was very real. So when I had my stroke and I was in the hospital in the first days, I had this feeling in my stomach of almost like my bones melting, that they were soft,
Starting point is 01:10:25 that the inside of my body was soft. And so I later thought that that is the feeling of death that's still in me, this feeling of softness. So death was no longer an idea. It was in my gut. It was in my viscera. It was a feeling. And so, you know, I had to think about that.
Starting point is 01:10:43 And I actually did write that that that death is a feeling it's not an idea but here it was it was brought to me in a in you know an experiential way wow I think that experience you had is going to be very powerful for the next book I hope so be able to share your experience of being on the brink of death. Yeah, I'll tell you what. Wow. I'm going to mention this in the book. I had planned on writing this book, The Sublime, 14 years ago. It was to be the book I wrote after the war book. And then I got sidelined into different projects.
Starting point is 01:11:20 And I'd always had the idea when I did this that I was going to go have these incredible sublime experiences. I was going to go travel to Antarctica to experience it. I was going to go paragliding. I was going to take boats in this area. I was going to do all these adventures. I was going to live my book. And now I can't do anything.
Starting point is 01:11:40 I can't do one thing. I can barely even go outside the house. So what do I have to do? I have to live in my head. Wow. I have to imagine all of it. And I think it's a very good thing because if I had been able to just go around
Starting point is 01:11:54 and have all these adventures, I'd look like this kind of privileged kid who could just use his money. But the reader isn't going to say, I can't go to Antarctica, you know? But everyone who's reading the book is going to be in my position more or less. You don't have the money or the power to do all these things. But it's in your head.
Starting point is 01:12:12 It's how you think about it. So it's altered how I'm going to write the book and how I think about the reader. I think imagination has got to be one of the most powerful things we can have. The power of our imagination. What did Einstein say about imagination? Something that's like more powerful than knowledge or something like that. we can have are the power of our imagination. What did Einstein say about imagination? Something that's like more powerful than knowledge or something like that. But it's what you're talking about earlier about being able to alchemize something, having an idea that then we can
Starting point is 01:12:34 transmute into real life and creation. And I think it's hard to create something meaningful without having a meaningful imagination, which brings you back to being a curious mind from childhood and being able to express yourself and be curious well um i mean i look at it this way you know we're all going through a very difficult time now a lot of people out there are really suffering circumstances are very harsh their work etc and the tendency is that you don't imagine what else it could be what what what the future be, what you could be doing with your life. So the lack of imagination is really holding you back. So the idea that I want to plan in people's brain with my next book and in general is things don't have to be the way they are.
Starting point is 01:13:22 Because you're in this situation in the present doesn't mean it has to be that way in two months or a year from now there are other possibilities try and imagine a different path for your life in a year or what that could be like try and imagine a different relationship you can be and if you're stuck in something but don't keep in the small little circle of thought so imagination is extremely powerful and extremely important. Yeah. You mentioned Martin Luther King as someone you're really inspired by from the past. Who are the top two people that you've researched or written about
Starting point is 01:13:57 in any of your books that you really connect with the most as an inspirational leader from the past or a human being? Well, this person is a little bit more on the devilish side because I have to, I have to, you know, not act like I'm, you know, this Mother Teresa here. And that would be Machiavelli. Machiavelli was the inspiration for the 48 Laws, somebody I've always loved because he's such a realist. He explains this is not how life should be. This is how life is. This is how people are. This is what the world is like. And when I was 17, I was 16 when I first read The Prince, I was like, wow. I didn't really understand the book, but I go, wow, this is powerful. This is really talking to me. This is really saying what it's like with my friends in
Starting point is 01:14:45 high school, etc. I could relate to his honesty, because so many people are so dishonest. And I love him, because he's a man of the Renaissance. People don't understand this about him. He wrote a hardcore book like The Prince, but he also wrote much more intellectual book like the Discourses. He also wrote one of the wickedest plays, comedies ever written in the history of theater. A play so sacrilegious that it shocked everyone at the time. And it's a very funny play called Mandragola. He was like a poet. He was a great seducer of women, even though he was physically ugly. He was like a really weird guy. He was like a poet. He was a great seducer of women, even though he was physically ugly. He was like a really weird guy.
Starting point is 01:15:27 He was interesting, and I loved his stories, right? So he'd be one. And the other one would be from Master was Leonardo da Vinci. I mean, these are from the same period. In fact, they probably crossed each other's path. But da Vinci, you know, he was like not human. He thought on a level that was so superior, that was so almost godlike, that it fascinated me. You know, there's a theme that I have in my new book. People who are so far ahead of their time, that's uncanny and i have examples in history of this
Starting point is 01:16:06 people who are a thousand five hundred years ahead of their time how can that be you know is it just coincidence or what is it and i'm fascinated by it well he was doing drawings of military tanks of flying planes of you know all kinds of elaborate technological devices that some have never even been invented you know and where did this come from he was also like one of the first people in history who observed nature just for itself he loved like plants and flowers and animals without thinking about God or religion he was one of the first animal lovers in history i'm an animal lover right i love any kind of yeah cats right i
Starting point is 01:16:51 have cats but i love dogs two cats right i have two cats yeah but i love horses i love dogs i love them all he no but people were so cruel to animals back then. Nobody had pets like that. Yeah, just stray animals. Cats were just there to kill rats, you know, et cetera. He would go in the marketplace in Florence when birds were being sold. He would buy them and open the cage and let them fly away. You know, he had great empathy for other animals, creatures, who the church said didn't have a soul, but he believed that animals had souls,
Starting point is 01:17:25 and he was the first person really. So I'm obsessed with people like that who are so far ahead of their time. He'd be the second guy. Wow. Is there a woman from the past that you read? Cleopatra. Cleopatra, why? Well, because I wrote a book about seduction. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I'm obviously, have a side to me that's very into seduction. I wouldn't have written the book, you know. And in my 20s, I was kind of a player, you know. I know it's hard to believe now, but I was. I was a bit of a rake.
Starting point is 01:17:55 And so, and Cleopatra was kind of like almost my ideal in a way, the one I read about. I haven't met her, obviously. But she was very smart. She was quite intellectual. I've always been very attracted to very smart women, right? She was very well read. She had the Library of Alexandria there. She'd read all the great classics. She was a lot smarter than the men around her. She was a lot smarter than Mark Antony. I wouldn't say she was smarter than Julius Caesar, but she was his equal. And she was an insanely good seductress.
Starting point is 01:18:29 She was very theatrical. She knew how to create these insane spectacles. And what man wouldn't be impressed by that? You know, she knew that Mark Antony was like this kind of raging sensualist. kind of raging sensualist so she seduces him by creating this insanely decadent barge that floats down the nile river with all these weird animals on it and people fanning you with giant things and all gold and everything you know mark anthony goes on a tour of all the cities on the nile with the on this barge and he was totally seduced she was like constantly putting on this theater and she was totally seduced. She was like constantly putting on this theater.
Starting point is 01:19:05 And believe it or not, she supposedly wasn't that beautiful. We don't have any images from her, but descriptions said that she had a bit of a nose, et cetera. But she had, her energy was really interesting. So that would probably be the woman of my choice. What do you think is the greatest skill or a couple skills that any 20 to 30 year old kind of in their 20s
Starting point is 01:19:27 should be learning how to master today from the skills of psychology the skills of human nature the skills of understanding people which skill should that be the the the the best thing is to be able to get inside the minds of other people. Ooh, there we go. If you develop that skill, the sky's the limit. Nothing will ever stop you. Because people are like a mystery. They wear a mask.
Starting point is 01:19:55 And you don't have any idea what they're thinking. And I have this metaphor in Human Nature, which I never wrote, but imagine a device was created in which some app, that you can now know the thoughts and feelings of the other person. Do you know the power you would have? Wow. It would be insane. Okay, I can't give you such an app. I can't invent that.
Starting point is 01:20:16 But you can develop half of that power by becoming someone of insane empathy. And it's not easy, and not everybody's born the same way, but it begins with one very simple step, and that is normally you go around more interested in your own thoughts and ideas. You're thinking about your boss. You're thinking about your girlfriend or boyfriend. You're thinking about this person who said this, that, or the other, and you're locked in your head. It's like a record, like in the old vinyl
Starting point is 01:20:48 days going around and round and round the same grooves, right. And even when you're sitting there talking with someone on a date or something, you're thinking about yourself, you're still in there, right? Because you find yourself more interesting than the other person. And it's very human. I'm not judging it. But inevitably, you think your own dramas, your own ideas, your own problems are essentially more interesting than the other person. So if that's your starting position, you're naturally going to be more absorbed in yourself.
Starting point is 01:21:19 You need to switch it around. And you need to tell yourself, the other person is more interesting than me. Their life, their thoughts, their ideas, it's like an undiscovered world. It's like going to Tahiti or something and visiting another culture. They have experiences you've never had. They have a world that's not your world. It's fascinating. Why do people love movies?
Starting point is 01:21:43 They love movies because they get to go inside other people's characters and they get to vicariously live in them. It's voyeurism. You can have that in everyday life if you switch that thing where you're more interested in other people. And so when you listen to them, you're not listening with the idea of, do they like me? Are they thinking about me? What does it have to do with me? I'm sorry I'm using that voice but it's just great. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah kind of a whiny voice.
Starting point is 01:22:09 What's it about me, me, me, me? Thinking just in a Zen way absorb yourself in their words and their energy and think about what they're saying. What's the subtext behind them? What's the body language revealing? What is it that motivates them? What
Starting point is 01:22:25 is their inner life like? I can't get inside Lewis Howe's thoughts. It's impossible. But I can get inside your moods and emotions because we humans are very susceptible to the moods of other people. We can feel them. So I can start to, if I'm open enough, I can understand the tone in your voice. I can understand the subtext of what you're saying. And I can pick up the emotion behind it and what you're intending. And once I do that, well, then if someone says something, I don't have to take it personally. Because now I understand that it probably comes from other things that have nothing to do with me. Or I want to persuade them to help me on a project
Starting point is 01:23:06 Well now I know what their world is like what their spirit is what their problems are I'm gonna mold what I'm saying to please to get them interested in my idea Doors open up to you left right and so the whole universe opens up to you Once you put you're able to put yourself in the mindset and the point of view of other people enter their spirit that's the single greatest step you can have so you're about to start your first job and you're all insecure and you're all worried about you and what people think about you try and make it's not easy it's not natural try and make that switch and don't think about yourself and try and figure out what is your boss like? What is he or she?
Starting point is 01:23:45 What is motivating them? What are their insecurities? What are their doubts? What is this person feeling? And suddenly, you're going to navigate this social environment in a much different level. I love this. This is powerful, I think. So to get in the minds of other people would be the greatest skill.
Starting point is 01:24:02 By far. And the way to do that, I'm hearing say is through empathy through asking interesting questions through listening no it's taking this one step which is other people are more interesting than me i love going to see movies that other person is like hannibal lecter i'm sorry that's not that's not a good choice. Sure. Could be, but... Or they're like this other character in some other movie. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:24:29 Choose whichever one you want. Right? Beetlejuice. There you go. Okay. Wow. That was a long time ago. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:36 Just thinking of a fascinating character. They're like that. They have stories. They have drama. Right? Their childhood was probably weird. They come from a culture, from a city, from a background that's not your city or background. And to try and understand it.
Starting point is 01:24:51 Now, some people are harder to do that with than others. There are people out there who are like just total assholes. And you don't really want to have to get into their world, right? You feel like you're getting yourself taking a shower of mud or something. Or excrement or whatever. You don't want to get into their world right you feel like you're getting yourself taking a shower of mud or something or excrement or whatever you don't want to get into their world but even then it pays if you've got a psychotic boss it pays to get inside their mind so that you don't take things personally so you can understand where they come from so even with horrible people being able to understand who they
Starting point is 01:25:22 are will will prevent you from taking everything personally. So Having the understanding that other people are more interesting than me having that framework in your mind Allows you to look at them differently or as interesting or as they have stories to tell they have a life. That's that's fascinating They're like a character in the movie. I want to understand it and Asking questions allows you to understand it you have to be careful with questions because if you're so obvious if you're going tell me about this yeah yeah so did you did you love your mother did your father yeah yeah so how do we get to know them without being intrusive well it's an art so you know people love to talk about
Starting point is 01:26:09 their childhood right and their successes and yeah yeah but I found like childhood is the main thing everyone has this kind of emotional attachment to their experiences as a child to where they grew up to their parents to their family to their earliest friends it's, to where they grew up, to their parents, to their family, to their earliest friends. It's got all sorts of emotions surrounding it that are very potent and uncontrollable. So a very kind of slip in question about someone's childhood,
Starting point is 01:26:38 and then asking a few leading questions and letting them do the talking. So if you're peppering them with questions, you look like a lawyer or someone who's- Or someone like me, who just interviews people for a living. Right. So you want them to do 90% of the,
Starting point is 01:26:54 90% that it's obvious what you're doing. 80% are said, people love to talk, right? If they do 70% of the talking, they're not even aware that they're doing that, but you're letting them talk. You're letting them be the star. But you find a foothold into what excites them. And you get them to talk and open up about their childhood.
Starting point is 01:27:14 And then occasionally a question. And then occasionally you go into your own life to sort of show, oh, yeah, you had that. I had something very kind of similar. Mirroring people is a slightly manipulative trick i i don't doubt that i talk about that in seduction but it's very powerful they're starting telling you things about their childhood that are powerful you go yeah i had something very similar and you probably have had something similar yeah that's a really potent way of connecting to people but you've got to be subtle. It's an art to getting people to talk and open up, to finding that thing that lights
Starting point is 01:27:48 their face up that gets them excited, you know? Yeah, I think the book Influence by Cialdini, I don't know if you've studied that book, but just likability allows you to, is one of his main, I think it's seven or eight keys of influence, but he talks about likability. And the more someone can see that they like you through mirroring or through, we have one thing in common makes them like you more. So finding that commonality, social proof, there's a bunch of other things. I can't remember all seven of them, but yeah,
Starting point is 01:28:18 likability is one of the biggest things. It's one of the reasons why I'm just always trying to have fun and just be playful and kind of ease the moment for people so they can feel like, oh, this is relaxing and fun and playful. Well, I must admit that's why you're a good interviewer. And I know that because I've been with many bad interviewers who are kind of tense and nervous and defensive and they're insecure, right? And they make you feel that way. But you have an energy that kind of brings out that part of, at least for me, that likes to yammer.
Starting point is 01:28:51 How does someone not be insecure? An interviewer, someone trying to get a job when they're doing an interview with their potential boss. When you're with someone who's you're inspired by or higher status or not on an influence position how do you not be insecure or nervous okay one simple answer I mean there may be exceptions but it's pretty simple do your homework be prepared so if you go into an interview you're naturally nervous but if you've prepared prepared the shit out of it, you've researched that person, you know who they are, you know what the company is like,
Starting point is 01:29:31 you know what the position is, why the other person was fired, what they're going to need from you, you're going to feel a lot less insecure than if you just kind of go in and wing it, right? Okay? So if you're on any kind of project, I talked in the war book about alfred hitchcock the film director and my wife is a film director it's a nerve-wracking task you've got an army of 80 people who are all g and insecure and ego ridden they're all secretly hoping you fail
Starting point is 01:30:01 so they can be the director yeah okay it's a nightmare right and hitchcock would like people were astonished she'd be on the set she'd be falling asleep oh oh really okay yeah yeah go ahead he was like buddha he didn't care he was never upset or anything people how could that be directors are the most nervous bitter people they're so control freaks it's because he prepared every detail he knew beforehand he knew every shot that he wanted what the clothes look like what the colors how the framing would be he storyboarded in exact detail and he said that by the time the film was being shot i was bored because i knew everything that how it was supposed to be so he could be calm because he was so well prepared So if you do your homework
Starting point is 01:30:49 It's maybe not gonna get rid of all your insecurities and all your nervousness because the degree of nervousness is okay Because you have to understand the physiology adrenaline is a very powerful emotion and Feeling a little bit of doubt and a little bit of fear will drive you and keep you awake and alert. So you don't want to be so confident that you'll just do anything. You want a little bit of tenseness. But if you prepare and you've anticipated the situation, it will get rid of 80% of those doubts that you have. We were talking about before, and I have a couple of final questions for you.
Starting point is 01:31:26 We were talking about before self-doubt, before we started recording. And I'm curious your thoughts on doubt, doubting ourselves, and how do we train our minds or our bodies or our life so that doubt doesn't keep us from accomplishing what we want or keep us from trying something we want? Because I think a lot of people don't do something because they doubt themselves so much from the fear of failure or the fear of success or people judging them. What's your thoughts on this?
Starting point is 01:31:55 Well, the main thing is you have to try something. You have to do something, right? And of course, if you're full of doubt and insecurities, it's going to be very hard. And so what separates the person who is going to learn is on the way to success from somebody who won't will be that person who's 22, 23. They tries it. They do it. They take that job and they write that thing or they do that, whatever it is that the other person maybe wouldn't try because they're not afraid of failing right so a certain level of you can't control that because some people are born that way i don't know if they're born that way but something about them in their dna has given them that drive yeah but if you don't have that drive if you have your insecurities, understand pain is a very powerful motivating factor.
Starting point is 01:32:47 But if you're 22 and you don't try something, you don't feel the pain. So why not? And then you're 23, then you're 24, you're not feeling the pain. Then you're 28, you're still not feeling the pain. Then you're 32, you're starting to feel a little depressed. And you're 35, man. And you're 40, you're picking up the bottle, you know what I'm saying? Okay.
Starting point is 01:33:04 So understand that you're 22 that life is very difficult and that you're gonna you're down a path towards something really really bad unless you get your act together and try that first thing because what happens people have studied fear and it's very important and i know back in 2001 i was in Vienna, Austria and I was watching I was in a theater I was in the middle of this very packed audience and there was a fire
Starting point is 01:33:31 and people were panicking and running around and I got such a sense of claustrophobia it killed I was like and from then on I couldn't get on an airplane I couldn't get in an elevator
Starting point is 01:33:43 I was like developing major claustrophobia, right? And then I went, I saw a therapist and she said, you got to expose yourself. You got to go back in that elevator. it but avoiding it you'll never get over the fear so take that first step do whatever it is that you thought you couldn't do and don't be afraid because that is the most important moment in your life and then you realize it's not so bad okay people are making fun of me I failed but they never tried anything I at least tried it and I have an idea for my next but it wasn't so bad you know but if you never make that first step I don't care the wisdom of Solomon won't I at least tried it and I have an idea for my next but it wasn't so bad, you know But if you never make that first step, I don't care the wisdom of Solomon won't be able to help you Right, you'll always be stopping before you can so you've got to be have the guts To make that first step and then the doors will open for you. It's what I'm hearing you say is it's an experiential event
Starting point is 01:34:42 It's not a theory of okay. Let me think my my way out of the fear or the insecurity or the doubt. It's like, no, I have to practice this and experience the feeling of, ah, I failed or someone laughed at me or I tripped and fell. Whatever it is, you've got to experience it. You have a good way of summarizing what I'm saying because you said it better than I did. Well, this is something I've been fascinated by because I think so many people doubt themselves. And their doubt is what keeps them from going after what they want. Getting into the relationship they want, getting out of the relationship they want, getting the job, all these things. And they're afraid of failure.
Starting point is 01:35:19 They're afraid of success. And they're afraid of people's opinions or judgment when they take this action. and they're afraid of people's opinions or judgment when they take this action. And I tell people that the simplest thing you can do is write a list of your biggest fears and insecurities, circle the top one, the one that scares you the most, and then do that until you feel at peace with it, or at least you can brace it. Essentially become Batman of that fear and live with the bats of that fear, that insecurity, where then it becomes a powerful thing for you.
Starting point is 01:35:47 And this is what I did in my teens and 20s from being terrified of public speaking. And I went to a public speaking class every single week until I felt like, wow, I feel powerful up here, not powerless. Right. And I did it with so many different things that I was insecure about until they became skills
Starting point is 01:36:02 as opposed to fears and insecurities i think and so i love that you said you've got to expose yourself to the fear you've got to re-go into the elevator go back to that theater that had the fire right and breathe and feel comfortable so you can live your life and then we go back to the thought about you know that question could it have been worse? Yeah. Well think of it this way If you don't try that thing It's gonna be a lot worse for you down the road You're gonna never get anywhere and and you're gonna the pain will be intense in 15 years You're not feeling it now, but have that hindsight to realize that the worst thing in life The worst feeling of all is to see that you wasted
Starting point is 01:36:45 your potential. That you had dreams and you never even tried them and then you're in your 50s or 60s, you're facing death. Why was I alive? I didn't do it. I could have done this, that or that. I never even tried. Remind yourself of that.
Starting point is 01:37:00 You know, they used to have emperors in ancient Rome would have a slave walking by them and whispering into their ear, you're going to die, you're mortal, you might die tomorrow, you might die tomorrow. Right? And that was like a reminder of their mortality and that they had to not get so... Wasn't that a story from Marcus Aurelius where he had someone talk to him and say, you're just a man or something? It might be. Was that who it was? I can't remember. But someone had someone just say, every day, you're just a man.
Starting point is 01:37:30 Right. The more powerful he became to kind of keep him more grounded. Right. You're just a man or you're going to die. Or just have that whisper, you're going to fail. You're not going to realize your dreams. You're going to waste your life. You're wasting your life.
Starting point is 01:37:44 You're wasting your life. You're wasting your life. You don't want to realize your dreams. You're going to waste your life. You're wasting your life. You're wasting your life. You're wasting your life. You don't want to feel that way. I know, like, it's hard. I'm coming from a position of privilege, and I don't deny that. Sure. But I was not, I didn't have anybody help me. All my success was pretty much on my own.
Starting point is 01:38:02 I worked really hard. But I can tell you this, that prior to my success, I was really unhappy. I was really unhappy. I was very depressed. I even had moments I was suicidal. I felt like I could do something, but I wasn't able to do it. And then the ability to write my books now, I don't have that feeling anymore. write my books now, I don't have that feeling anymore.
Starting point is 01:38:25 And it's the greatest thing in the world to not ever feel like, you know, that doubt and that depression. It's like a constant exhilaration. It's amazing. I finished it. I wrote that book. I did it. You know, I can feel good about myself.
Starting point is 01:38:39 And I want other people to understand that. You may not, it doesn't have to be a grand project, but it has to be something that makes you feel like you know because when you're a child you have these dreams everybody had these dreams you're going to be the best basketball player in history like me like i thought i was right you know a jewish kid's going to be a great basketball player okay you know or i'm going to be the best this i'm going to be great right i'm going to be blah and then you get older and you lose those dreams and it's very depressing it's very debilitating and you want to keep some of that child within you alive and some of that
Starting point is 01:39:15 ambition some of that desire to achieve something great and having ambition is not a bad thing it's a dirty word today because people think it means you're selfish. Yeah. But your ambitions can be towards achieving things that help people as well. What's the greatest fear for you now that you haven't yet
Starting point is 01:39:34 conquered or overcome or insecurity that you're still dealing with? I don't know, Lewis. You know, I have, believe it or not, a tremendous fear of failure. Still, after all these massive hits and millions of books sold, and every time you get a...
Starting point is 01:39:55 I'm neurotic and I don't deny it. Every book is a hit and just changes lives. Well, it's because, I don't know if it's from my background, I come home with straight A's and my parents would go, eh, okay, so what? What's next? Okay. So it's instilled in me some way. I don't know why. So I'm writing my new book, my first chapter, and I'm going, this isn't working.
Starting point is 01:40:18 It's too intellectual. It's not going to hit people. It's not relevant to their lives. I have to change it. I have to change it. If I write the book like this, people are going to laugh laugh at me and i go through that every single time in every single book now i'm able it's kind of a split personality because in the back of my mind i know i'm kind of playing a game but i still play the game and it keeps me motivated it keeps me
Starting point is 01:40:39 working so i must say i'm still deathly afraid of failing my readers and of them being disappointed in me and going, I thought Robert was this great writer, and look, he's put out this shit. What's wrong with him? He's getting old and soft. I'm still afraid of that. Wow. Well, I guess that's why you keep showing up,
Starting point is 01:40:57 keep creating to help you overcome that fear. I keep being invited back to it. That's it. This has been powerful, and I think a lot of people are going to love this. I want them to,
Starting point is 01:41:07 if you're listening right now and something inspired you or you're watching, make sure to send a tweet to Robert Green. Let him know what you enjoyed about this
Starting point is 01:41:16 or on Instagram Robert Green Official. Post a story, tag Robert so he can see it even though I'm not sure how active you are on Instagram.
Starting point is 01:41:24 But someone's watching there so you'll get the information and the laws of human nature on Facebook. If you don't have all of Robert's books, make sure to get them right now. And also get on your newsletter. I think you have a newsletter, right, where they can opt in for when the future book comes out. I'm not sure if Ryan probably manages all that for you still, but go to your website, which is
Starting point is 01:41:47 powerseductionandwar.com powerseductionandwar.com andwar.com. Go there. Get on his newsletter or just go check it every month because the book's coming out hopefully in the next couple years. But this is going to be your best book yet. I'm already declaring it.
Starting point is 01:42:03 I hope so. I'm declaring it because I know you're not going to let yourself down or people who read it down. You're that neurotic. I am that neurotic. You're that neurotic. I sure as hell am and I don't deny it. You've got some other interviews we've had on our show. We'll link those up in the show notes if you want to hear Robert's definition of greatness and his three truths. You can go listen to those. Final question for you you what's the question you wish more people would ask you that they don't ask you i don't really have uh you know when people put you on the spot like that you have to be like so quick-witted and i'm not i'm kind of a slow brain is there anything you wish more people would have discussions about that they don't with you well i don't know i mean you know um i'm kind of really into the zeitgeist i wrote
Starting point is 01:42:57 a chapter about that in human nature about the times that we're living through you know i tend people tend to think that i'm just interested in individuals and psychology now, but I'm also very interested in our culture and our society and how it fits into the larger scheme of history. So sometimes people don't ask me so much about that chapter and about what do you think is going on right now in the world today?
Starting point is 01:43:21 Where are we? What is the moment that we're in? And how does it compare in the past because i've read a lot of history i'm not bragging because it probably led to my stroke to be honest with you you know thousands of books and so i have this innate sense of patterns of history of things that repeat of things know, people go through certain crises. And so it makes me very attuned to the spirit, to the feeling in the air now. So, you know.
Starting point is 01:43:55 What do you think is going to happen in the next few years based on history in two minutes? The overview of what you've experienced from all the historical events to what we're facing now. Well, I think the human spirit can't deal with too much stagnation, can't deal with... So on the one hand, we're afraid of change. On the other hand, we're deadly afraid of boredom and stagnation. And things have been stagnant for too long. And we're on the verge of what I think could be a revolutionary generation. It's not carved in stone because social media has kind of disrupted the apple cart, so to speak. But young people are the motors of change in this world. They will create culture. They will create new movements. They will keep the world alive because they enter the world and the world doesn't fit who they are because it was created by boomers
Starting point is 01:44:43 or whomever. So they want to mold the world into something that's more like them so they're the motors of all the changes all the trends in fashion all the trends in the arts in politics etc but things have been too static for a long time we live in a situation where the politics and the structures have not really shifted in 50 years. They're ossified. And so I think the human spirit is sick of it. If I were 20 years old, I would be sick of it. I would say, this is not the world that I want to live in. And so I feel like there's going to be an outbreak at some point where people are going to say, I want to live.
Starting point is 01:45:20 I want something more alive. I don't want this world that is so unequal. You know, I'm somebody who rants against inequalities of wealth, etc. And just the kind of rigid social framework that we're living in, I think there will be an outburst. I'm not Nostradamus, so I could be wrong. In five years, people might be laughing at me. But I sense, and other people who write about the generational phenomenon say that the millennials were the crisis generation, and that's always followed by the revolutionary generation,
Starting point is 01:45:53 which would be the Generation Y or whatever you call them. Wow. Or Z, Generation Z. How should we be preparing ourselves if this comes true? What can we do now for the next couple of years to prepare ourselves well embrace it embrace it i i did a podcast about it and a lot of people were upset going well you know revolutions i mean come on look at the soviet union or communist china revolutions are bad they're ugly look at that and i my response is change is the healthiest thing
Starting point is 01:46:26 that can happen right even if it's a change for the worse it's okay because humans need a vitality we need things that are different we need a different landscape social landscape around us right so welcome it don't be a defensive little rat who's got to live in their own little hole and everything has to be the same. The world is changing. It will change without whether you like it or not. Technology will change your world whether you like it or not.
Starting point is 01:46:54 Young people will change the world whether you like it or not. So it's a lot better to embrace it and feel excited about the opportunities that are coming out because if you look at the, just take it from the business point of view, it's a devastated, it's like a hurricane happened. All the businesses that are gone,
Starting point is 01:47:12 the entertainment industry, the travel industry, they're devastated. Restaurant industry, yeah. What happens when that, new things are going to spring up. New ideas are going to spring up. There's going to be new ways. I the new future for that kind of world is gonna be giving people experiences because they've been locked up in their house for a year and they want so like you go to a hotel or a restaurant you
Starting point is 01:47:33 want to give people a little bit of an experience it's not just something so flat and like on social media so people feel more alive there's gonna be opportunities you're not even aware of. So be open to the change and be excited about it. That's the main thing to prepare yourself for. Robert, thank you for always opening up and being honest and real every time you come on. Thanks for being episode one and now 1,000 something. Hope you come back on many other times. Episode 2,000 or something. 2,000. Yeah. Hopefully we'll come back on in, well, before then. But your next book, we'll have you back on for sure.
Starting point is 01:48:08 Okay. And if you guys want to hear more about Robert's ideas on the zeitgeist and what's happening in culture, then let me know. And maybe we'll bring you back on sooner in the next six months after the election and everything to see what do you think is going to be happening moving forward and what we can do about it. So, Robert, thank you so much, man. Thank you moving forward and what we can do about it. So Robert, thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:48:26 I really enjoyed it. Thank you, man. My friends. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed it, please spread the message of greatness to someone you care about, someone you enjoy to talk with someone you'd love someone you appreciate.
Starting point is 01:48:41 Send them the link. Lewis house.com slash one zero two four, or just copy and paste this link wherever you're listening to it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or any other podcast platform and spread the message of inspiration. It's free. Share it with a friend. Post it on social media. Tag me and Robert over on Instagram stories. Would love to see who is listening to this and what you got out of this message. Would love to see who is listening to this and what you got out of this message. Also, please click that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts right now if you want to help this show reach more people. By subscribing, leaving a review, it really helps us get the message out there to more people. And also, if you want inspirational messages from me every single week, I've got an incredible text community where I send out behind the scenes text messages. That's right. You can get my inside thoughts via text to your phone.
Starting point is 01:49:36 Just text me the word podcast right now to 614-350-3960. Again, big fan of Robert Greene. I hope you enjoyed this. Please spread this far and wide. Put it in a WhatsApp group, text message. I don't care where you got to share it. Get this one out there as I know people will be inspired by this. Again, lewishouse.com slash 1024 to share this specific episode. Make sure to check out previous episodes. You can check out all the show notes over there as well. And we've got some incredible guests coming up here very soon. We just try to keep bringing you the best of the best in the world.
Starting point is 01:50:06 And I want to leave you with this quote from Seneca. Fire tests gold. Suffering tests brave men. I don't care where you're at in the world, but when we go through some type of adversity, we have two places we can go next. We can stay in suffering, or we can choose to set ourselves free by embracing it, accepting it,
Starting point is 01:50:29 learning from it and improving, changing ourselves for the better. I want to remind you, if no one's told you today, that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there
Starting point is 01:50:43 and do something great.

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