The School of Greatness - 1028 Mental Health + Motherhood Challenges & The Dangers of Fame & Success w/Rachel Platten
Episode Date: November 4, 2020“I wasn’t supposed to be another pop star if I was going to lose the truth and the light in me.”On today's podcast, Emmy Award winner, author, and multi-platinum selling recording artist, Rachel... Platten joins Lewis in a wide-ranging conversation that is lighthearted and fun, yet deeply insightful and personal.You know her best from her powerful hit songs such as Fight Song, Stand By You and many more! She topped countless radio and iTunes charts worldwide, and has even written a children’s book based on her song You Belong. She recently released a new song called Soldiers which can be found on Spotify.Rachel was willing to open up and talk about some of the harsh realities that she faces as a mom, a wife, and a performer, while also giving gratitude for the opportunity, joy, and success that she sees in her life everyday. In this powerful interview Lewis and Rachel discuss the struggles of panic and anxiety, motherhood, postpartum depression, staying true to yourself, owning your self-worth, and so much more!For more go to: www.lewishowes.com/1028Listen to Rachel’s new song: https://open.spotify.com/track/7BwuuLN0Fcvd8OSMFw4cd9Check out her website: www.rachelplatten.comRead her children’s book: https://www.amazon.com/You-Belong-Rachel-Platten/dp/1250240166Check out the last podcast with Rachel: www.lewishowes.com/572
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I had no money and I would give my money. I would make $100 from a gig and I would give $50 of it to a homeless person.
And it was that act of faith that money is an energy and that flipped my mindset.
It still took years to make millions of dollars, but I haven't changed my mindset.
I still believe that money works the same way.
Welcome to the School of Greatness.
My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur.
And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock
your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.
The poet and writer Victor Hugo once said, Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.
And Taylor Swift said,
People haven't always been there for me, but music always has.
My guest today is extremely thoughtful and has so much to say with her words and her songs.
And it's always a joy to have her on the pod.
Rachel Platten is an Emmy Award winner, author, and multi-platinum selling recording artist.
And you'll know her best from her powerful hit songs such as Fight Song, Stand By You, and many more.
She topped countless radio and iTunes charts worldwide
and has even written a children's book based on her song, You Belong.
She released a new song called Soldiers, which is truly inspiring, and everyone should go check it
out after this podcast. Rachel is a friend, and she's always willing to open up and talk about
some of her harsh realities that she faces as a mom, as a wife, and as a performer, while also
giving gratitude for the opportunity, joy, and success that she
sees in her everyday life. This is a very powerful interview, especially for anyone who struggles
with panic attacks and anxiety, who's a mother dealing with postpartum depression while staying
true to yourself, or anyone that wants to take a deep dive in their own self-worth and identity.
And in this episode, we discuss how she's dealt with her dark side over the years,
what she's most ashamed of, Rachel's journey from playing for 10 people
to 60,000 people in a matter of three months,
how she overcame the moments when her dreams fell apart.
She also talks about the constant struggle with being a mother
and pursuing her dreams as a performer and how she deals with this.
The dangers of gaining fame and developing an inflated ego.
The reality of postpartum depression, anxiety, and so much more.
This will truly inspire you.
And I believe it will inspire so many people that you know.
So if you're enjoying this, make sure to share this link with a friend who needs to hear it, lewishouse.com slash 1028. Or just copy and paste the link on your podcast
app that you're listening to. And a quick reminder, click the subscribe button over on Apple
Podcasts right now to be notified of the School of Greatness in the future. And leave us a rating
and review as well if you enjoyed this episode. And in just a moment, the one and only
Rachel Platten. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast. Very excited for my
good friend, Rachel Platten, in the house. Good to see you. Hi. I miss you. I miss you, too. I
miss you a lot. I miss you a lot. We both have very busy lives. You're a mom. You've got music
coming out all the time. You've
got books coming out now and we're in the middle of a pandemic. So it's like, there's just a lot
of things happening. And I wish we could see each other more, but I'm so glad that I have this
podcast that gives an excuse for you to come on and talk about so many things. One of the things
that inspires me the most about you, this is incredible,
is that you have been committed to your craft for so long.
And it took you, I think, 13 years, roughly,
until you actually made really anything with it.
It took so long.
I mean, you were running around in trains and buses and vans,
sleeping in vans,
trying to just get three people to watch you sing and perform for years.
Yeah.
And then you almost give up.
You write a song.
It doesn't take off right away, but then it starts to take off.
And now you really start to hit your groove.
This is what inspires me about you, guys like Andy Grammer as well,
who just like show up for the art and the love of it.
Yeah.
When did you realize that? Thank you. Oh, you're welcome.
Yeah, of course. Cause I think it's really hard for artists or anyone who's creative, who has a
dream or has a passion. It's really hard for people to make a living out of it. It's easier
than ever with the tools that are available, but it's hard to get people to like buy into your
creative dream. Right. Yes yes and you experienced this for a
long time yeah and i think you were 23 when you started doing uh performing in front of hospitals
right like going and just like doing it for the love of it yes to bring joy to kids and then you
were touring for years but no one was showing up right it was just like like no like 10 10 15 people
maybe i was begging people on the street literally to come there like please come in yeah yeah i'd like go to a city and be like okay i'm
gonna do a tour and then we'd show up at the city and like pray that there was an audience at all
and sometimes just like stand outside the venue with flyers and be like you want to come see some
music we collected like 10 or 15 people we we'd feel really good about it. When was the moment where you were like, wow, I've made it?
Or do you feel like you've made it yet?
Oh man, I've had like different moments of it
where I've felt it and then it's fleeting.
And I think that's the thing with basing your happiness
on something external and general is that it never lasts.
So I've had moments where that hunger and need
to be approved of and loved in a massive level
is kind of reached, but I only rest there very quickly
before I'm like, okay, well then,
who else can I compare myself to?
Now what else can I reach?
What else can I do?
That wasn't enough.
So I think if I'm being super honest,
I don't think that I have felt like I've reached my full potential yet
in what I'm supposed to be doing in this world with my music.
But there have definitely been moments where I,
probably if I was being kinder to myself,
I would be like, Rachel, are you kidding?
You definitely made it when you did X or when you...
What was that first moment where you're like, wow, is this really happening to my life?
Was it singing in front of a big stadium? Was it your song being played on a radio a bunch of times?
Was it like, oh.
It's a good question.
Was it hit the charts at a certain number?
Maybe when it was number one on iTunes. I think I hit that like, that was so unlikely of happening.
I was like 31 at the time or 32.
And I had been trying, as you said, for so many years.
And it seemed like such a ridiculous thing to try for.
Like, why would I get a number one?
How would that happen?
Number one on iTunes.
Yeah.
I mean, that was this thing back then, too.
Like five years ago, Spotify wasn't the thing.
It was like, you know, and I had kept visualizing.
I think we talked about it this last time that I was on.
But I kept visualizing these certain things happening. And as we all know, and I've heard lots of times through
your guests, obviously that is real and that can happen and manifesting is real. And we can talk
more about like the flip side of that later. But, um, I was manifesting these very specific things.
And when those started happening one by one, I think I was like, oh, okay. I just received my plaque for it being platinum.
I'm number one.
I think maybe singing, I think singing with Taylor at her stadium shows
was like the real thing that I was like, okay.
This is 60,000 people.
They know the song.
They're singing the song.
They're doing the thing that I visualized in my dream of like seeing their fists in
the air.
And no, this is the moment that I really manifested.
When was that the first time you were on stage with Taylor or at her stadium tour?
It was, I don't know, it was five years ago maybe?
Okay.
I think five years ago.
2015?
Yeah, I think 2015 in the summer, june-ish maybe wow so what how
did that even come out did she call you did her manager say hey we want you to perform was this
like i haven't talked about this in so long um i used to be asked about only this for so long um
i think it was let's see fight song was already climbing i think it was number 10 or something
so it was happening it was on the radio yeah and it was like approaching number one on the radio and and it was that all happened within
like three months of it um first getting played on the radio so i went from like total obscurity
no one caring no one knowing to like two months later playing on stage at the radio disney awards
and winning awards and then it like then a month after that singing with Taylor so I
think the thing that no one really or that I don't talk about very often or explain is that
everything happened so quickly that it was really unnerving and ungrounding and confusing and
and we can go into a lot of that too like but it was a very bizarre change of life from like
playing in my band to 10 people 15 people
to 60 000 people within three months so what was the most you played in front of i guess on a
regular basis before like actually i'd opened for andy on his tour um andy grammar a couple years
pre yeah a couple years prior i had a moment before fight song that probably only hardcore
fans might know it's called the songand Ships was on the radio.
And it was climbing, climbing.
And this is what led to me writing Fight Song was the pain of what happened.
I had this, so I had been working for, I think it was like nine years at this point,
touring independently.
And then I went to Sweden and I took my little singer-songwriter thing
that I had been doing in New York City.
And you're like, I'm going to tour over there.
No, no, no.
Someone sent me.
A manager had a vision for me and he was like, let's take whatever this Regina Spektor-ish
sound is, let's send you to Stockholm, like the epicenter of pop at the time, and let's
combine that quirky indie singer-songwriter thing with actual pop delicious goodness.
And so I went to Stockholm like took that sound and i had
this producer there that turned it into a much more like um yeah just marketable like worldwide
thing and so i came back with these songs and um an indie label was like yeah no this is great
let's put this out and i was oh great and then in these publicists and then all of a sudden one of
them was like let's do a radio campaign that beyond, that was so much bigger than anything I'd ever heard of.
So this little song, I was like, the little engine that could,
just started climbing out of nowhere.
This song called A Thousand Ships was climbing and climbing and
all of a sudden major labels started paying attention and we're like,
how is this artist beating our artists that we've paid millions of dollars for?
Or hundreds of thousands, I don't know.
And so it's getting attention. I got to open for Andy millions of dollars for. Or hundreds of thousands, I don't know. And so it's getting attention.
I got to open for Andy because of that song.
And so that audience was around 600 to 1,000 maybe.
So that had been the biggest.
That's a big jump from like 30 to 1,000.
30, yeah, that was a big deal,
playing to his 600 or 700 people.
And then quickly to wrap that story up,
basically that song was climbing
and I had a major label be like,
no we wanna sign you based on this,
this is very exciting.
And it went really far, they made an offer.
And that was my hugest dream at that point
was like being noticed by a label.
And in my mind that was gonna justify
that I was like a real artist.
And so I had a record label offer
and then the song started falling.
And so my manager came over one day and he's like,
the offer's gone.
They took the offer away?
It's all gone.
Shut up.
It's all gone.
And the pain of getting so close
and being able to taste this dream
that I had worked so hard for,
and then it completely going away,
and then that manager left,
and it was like everything left everything fell away and i
had to really start from scratch and come to terms with like why am i doing this and that was where
the musicians on call and like singing in hospitals really carried me through was that was always my
why so that's when i started writing so you almost like thought to yourself like okay should i keep
doing this yeah the offer is gone
the dream that i had is gone the manager left yeah they don't care anymore yeah people don't
listen to my music on the radio anymore right so why am i doing this yeah so you went back
into the hospitals and kept doing you know and really what i went back to was writing
was really digging into i had a very smart friend tell me that, that then became my manager for a little while,
that told me, stop trying to warm yourself at everyone else's fires. Go build your own. And
the way that you do that is through songwriting. So I realized, he kind of helped me understand,
you're not really writing. Like you're writing one song a month and then deciding that song is
good enough. That's not what these other artists are doing go write a thousand songs and you'll get one incredible one go build your fire so i wrote
like a thousand songs it took five years oh my gosh and then i finally wrote by song wow and that
and then you know the rest of the story so when you when you launch the song did you launch it independent did you launch it with uh yeah i put it out completely by myself my manager didn't even
really care at that point or believe in it he was kind of like all right so i made a lyric video for
it with someone i paid a couple hundred dollars for and i put it out and really not much happened
for like a while right almost for like a year yeah so you put out this thing but you had a vision
that this was like a hit when you're writing writing it, when you published it, when you shared it in the world, you knew it was a hit, right?
You felt it was.
I believed so much in it.
I felt this deeper purpose for it and for me.
I felt like this is meant to heal millions of people.
I am meant to go, and this sounds really grandiose and kind of crazy because I had nothing going on and no reason to believe this but I was like I would look out I had you know this apartment with
a beautiful view at that point and I would look out at the Hudson and I would just like
see the moon over the water and that was where the line like a small boat on the ocean it was
originally like a small boat on the Hudson I would look at out that water and be like
I have a bigger purpose I know I can feel it somewhere deep inside. I could feel.
So it doesn't really matter what is around me or what I'm seeing. Like I would, I would hold
tight to that faith inside. Cause it was bigger than me. But how do you stay motivated and excited
when you launch it and it doesn't go anywhere for a year? Dude, I don't know. You put this dream
out there, your heart on the, you know, uh, out in the world and then it's like, okay, it's okay.
And then how do you sustain your energy for a year to stay positive?
And then it pops.
It wasn't a sustained line of constant positivity.
It took, it was dips.
And honestly, I'm asking myself that same question now.
Like, I really am.
It's funny, but I'm like, who was that girl
and what did she believe
and how do I remember
that tenacity
and that level of faith
and that level of belief?
Because I'm, in a way,
back at a similar,
not a similar place,
but a similar emotional place.
And I'm so glad
you're asking me about it
because maybe I can
relearn the lesson.
And I think it was, I think it was,
I was doing so much work on myself.
I was reading constantly things to fill my soul.
I was meditating.
I was journaling constantly.
I was doing a lot of charity work.
I was giving a lot.
And I had people around me, a community around me
that that was maybe the biggest piece that maybe I'm missing right now is like, because we're all isolated right now.
But I had amazing community around me of people reminding me, Rachel, stop.
It doesn't matter what you're trying to go after.
It matters what's here now.
It matters this Tuesday night that we're playing in this dive bar in New York City.
That's what matters.
Let's make these 10 people in the audience have the best night of their lives.
Isn't that so true?
It is so true.
It's like, be in the moment.
When I launched my podcast almost eight years ago,
I remember saying like,
I just want one person to listen to this.
And if I can impact that one person.
Did you really mean it?
I mean, I wanted millions to listen,
but I was like, if I can impact one person
and get one person to listen to it first and change their life or impact them in some way, then hopefully they'll share it with a friend.
Yeah.
And then the next episode will be two people.
Yeah.
And we'll see where it goes.
But I was like, if I can just create something for one person to improve them, that was my mentality.
It's still my mentality. Like when I'm interviewing you right now, I think about who is the mom who just had a child a year ago,
who's really struggling,
who maybe they had a career,
maybe they had a dream,
but they're just going through a challenging time.
What do they need to hear to help them?
It makes me emotional because you're so right.
It's all that really matters
is that one person that's affected and touched.
And we let our egos get in the way
and have all this fear like,
oh, it needs to impact millions of people. No, it doesn't. get in the way and and have all this fear like oh it
needs to impact millions of people no really it doesn't it's the same we're all connected
and who knows the butterfly effect of how that one person whose life is changed by hearing
that we didn't give up or whatever and and maybe she's going to go treat her children differently
that day and maybe that who knows the effect that's going to have and and um the fact that
we need more is like it's just just, you know, it's challenging
because I always want more.
I always want more.
I know.
I'm like writing a song.
I was writing a song.
I want more.
I want more.
I want, I'm going to get right back to this interview with Rachel Platten after I tell
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It's interesting that balance of like being okay with where you're at and grateful for
where you're at and striving for more is a really tough dance.
How have you been managing that as a mom?
You had a tour, you've been talking about this openly where you had postpartum depression,
a lot of anxiety, stress, overwhelm.
I love your Instagram posts because they're so real because you'll say, for a week, I'm all in as a mom. I'm mommed up, right? And then my creative side is not fulfilled.
And then the next week, I'm all in as an artist, singing, creating, writing music,
producing. And then I'm not feeling like I'm there as a mom the best way I could.
What have you learned in the last year from touring to producing,
writing,
and being a mom
about how you're going
to move into
the next year
of motherhood
and be the creative artist
that you want to
with those dreams?
I don't know.
It's a really tough,
I'm glad you're asking
because I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm still trying
to find that balance.
You know,
today I feel a tug of guilt that I'm not there.
You know, I'm not with her.
I didn't get to pick her up at preschool today,
and I know her little face will be sad when she doesn't see Mom there.
And yet I have felt not fulfilled artistically the past three weeks
because we moved houses and I've been all in with her.
And so I've known that this is so good for my artist soul today to be here.
And I don't know.
I don't know that moms ever figure that out.
Like maybe I can hear from moms listening like on advice.
And I think it's compassion for yourself
and like awareness around all of it, you know,
and just the, I think bringing awareness to it
is the biggest thing of just seeing it all.
Like the John Zabit
can then like noticing noticing oh there's guilt oh there's um there's unwanted there's unfulfilled
passion still when I'm with her and there's and that maybe that's okay yeah what would you do
differently going back starting your last tour knowing that it was a struggle oh my god like
every day so hard you've
got to show up and be bubbly and fun for 15 000 20 000 people how many people are there yeah
and you're depressed essentially and stressed and you're figuring out breastfeeding and being a mom
new mom like what would you do and tell yourself a year ago if you could do it again would i have
to still do the tour doing the tour okay what would you how would you and maybe
no a friend of mine you need to go through that as a mom you are so right that is the biggest piece
maybe it's not like you can't eliminate it you just need it no that was like my real dark night
of the soul last summer was the darkest it's ever gotten for me was having panic attacks
being out on stage with an arena full of people and having a panic attack
right before I went on stage because yeah, I can't control anything and my breast milk is
diminishing and I'm going to have to give her formula and the guilt over that. And like,
Oh my God, what would I tell her? I think I would, I would just say the hardest things are the things
that change you. They always have been the, like the worst things you go things are the things that change you. They always have been.
The worst things you go through are the things
that give you the strength to then maybe write a song
that will then change people's lives.
I think that's what's happening right now.
I can feel that transmutation happening in me
and I'm right mid-process, so maybe we'll talk again
in a year after that music has been written.
But I know that there was a purpose for that all that and i know that the the awareness you know like i was a how do i
say this i got to see my shadows really deeply the dark sides i really didn't know that stuff was
there what were the dark sides of you that you never saw?
Just how controlling I am, how self-absorbed I am.
In life or with every person or every situation?
I think with my career, how I moved from a place of deep faith with the universe, with the divine, before Fight Zone came out, to a need to control every aspect.
Sun came out to a need to control every aspect and how I stopped truly being the light that I am once I let the industry and like I started believing the hype of like oh you're so or I
hear thousands of people being like you healed me how confusing is that I'm sure you wrestle with it
too you're like oh am I special oh don't maybe I'm special you wrestle with it too. You're like, oh, am I special? Oh, don't.
Maybe I'm special.
Yeah, but that separates you from God and like separates you from your higher self because you start buying into this belief that you're the one doing it, that you're the special one.
And that's so dangerous for us.
And so I started believing it and not treating people like I want to treat people and being it was never maybe as bad as I think it
was because I've gone back and like made amends actually and be like I am so sorry was I being a
dick at that award show when I was just was I dismissing and some of my closest you know people
in my life at the time were like maybe it wasn't as bad as you think but I do I'm glad you're giving
me that apology and thank you and it's kind of shocking that you're understanding how it might have seemed from someone else's point of view,
but you weren't like the evil witch of the industry, but I'm a kind person, but I, I got
mixed up with, um, like my boundaries weren't good. And so because of that, I was allowing
things to happen that then I'd lash out, like than being like, oh, that doesn't feel good for me,
and honoring speaking up and being okay with saying no to things,
I'd say yes to everything.
And then get resentful.
And get resentful and get really upset,
and then it would come out in shadow behavior.
There's so much to that.
What's the thing you're most ashamed of?
I was on a world tour.
It was either Japan or Australia or somewhere
like I was just the worst version of myself. I was like, no, it was in London and I was exhausted.
I hadn't slept. I was having, I didn't know what they were at the time, but they were like panic
attacks. I thought they were just, I didn't know what it was because I didn't have a therapist at
the time. So I wasn't sleeping and I was jet lagged
and all those excuses, fine, I can give myself excuses.
But I was acting so badly.
Like I want to give myself kindness right now
because I'm ashamed and like it's hard to talk about.
But I was just rude.
Like I was being rude.
I was canceling things and I was like totally ungrateful
and they'd come in and be like,
this is your schedule today. And it's busy from 5 a.m. until like 11 p.m.
And I was like, cancel this, cancel this, cancel it.
And people had worked really hard for all this.
Preparing for this thing.
Preparing.
And I was like, no.
Like, no, I don't like my glam.
I don't like that.
I don't feel good.
And I feel fatter.
I feel just coming out in all this like not okay behavior when what I really wish I could have done was look at like holy crap
23-year-old me couldn't wouldn't believe she's in London right now
Dream of this people wanting to talk to me in here for me
so I'm not especially proud of those moments and
how do you get back to your center of
You know being that
Joyful loving self?
I think that I had a major reckoning.
This whole year and a half has been it, maybe two years.
Right before I had my daughter,
I put out an album called Waves that I love and I'm proud of
but it did nowhere near what the album before
Invite Song and Stand By You, had done.
It sold thousands of copies, but it wasn't selling millions of copies.
And because I was basing my total worth on my career success and results,
I was really ashamed and really disappointed
and looking to lash out in blame, like, whose fault is this?
And who didn't
do a good enough job promoting me and so that was my initial thing and then I
took a trip to Israel with friends and I had been growing more when was this right
for him before I got pregnant my daughter so like I don't a year two A year, two years ago? Like, uh... 2007, 18?
The end of 2018?
No, the March 2018.
Okay.
My album came out 2017, I think.
I hope I'm getting this right.
And 2018, I was like, I'm so lost.
I need to go.
I need to go shake something up.
Something needs to change.
And I had friends at that time who were very spiritual and religious in different ways,
and I was really disconnected from all the belief
that I had before, that I'd had and carried
for 15 years throughout sustaining my faith in myself.
I had kind of just made my career my god
and just forgot it, and that's what was happening.
It's not totally true, I had like a beautiful altar at home
and I was meditating and like still aware.
I mean, we had our interview and I was definitely aware,
but there was shadow behavior that I wasn't looking at.
So I think I recognized that something needed to change
and I went with my friends on this trip.
And when I was there, we climbed Mount Maasai.
I hope I'm getting the name right.
The Trail of Tears.
And at the top of it, first of all,
being there was a really incredible experience
because I was Jewish and I was there
with a lot of Christian people.
And so I was able to look at Israel
with a very interesting perspective.
Anyway, we climbed this mountain and at the top of it,
I just had this moment of sobbing and this big, I don't know,
it was like this huge reckoning where all of a sudden,
rather than blaming God, I had deep gratitude,
and I realized with my friend's help that it was a gift.
My record not taking off, the second record, was a gift.
It was all for me.
It was because that's not who I was supposed to be in the world.
I wasn't supposed to be another pop star if I was going to lose the truth and the light in me.
And it was a gift.
And it was like, we're sorry.
I heard this from my team. I was meditating. It was like like we're sorry you know i i heard this from my like team
it was kind of like i was meditating it was like we're sorry that this is hurting you but this is
necessary you need to get back to who you are before you can get bigger do you think that album
would have been different if you didn't lose that part of yourself yes really of course but at the
same time i needed to go through all that like i need to go through it because the music I'm writing now is so powerful I can feel the truth of it I can feel the stuff that I used to
write about is back like I want that crown again I want the crown of being the I was embarrassed by
being the fight song girl back after because everyone was like because I wasn't getting
festivals I wasn't cool and I was getting turned down for things because they were like, oh, it's like the Vanilla Fight song girl, and she's hopeful, and people would be like, that's the whitest shit I've ever seen, which is really funny.
It is.
You know, it's like, white girl goes to the city and like, believes in her dreams, and I get all the stuff behind it, but I'm aware.
But at the same time, I know it was changing people's lives and I was unable to tap into that part of it
because I wanted, like I said,
I wanted to be like-
Recognizing the industry in a different way
and be like Coachella and this and that
and like be in the scene.
Yeah.
I wanted to be nominated for Grammys
and be respected by the industry
and not made fun of by like-
Didn't you win a Grammy?
No.
I won other awards.
Emmy?
Emmy, yeah.
Emmy, Emmy, yeah.
I mean, how ridiculous.
I don't like-
You won an Emmy. I won another award. Yeah, right. I know. Man, aren't other awards. Emmy? Emmy, yeah. Emmy, Emmy, yeah. I mean, how ridiculous. I'm like, I won another award.
Yeah, right.
Man, aren't we funny with ourselves?
But yeah, I wanted something different than I had.
You know, it was like the grass is greener thing.
And I had all my dreams and I was selling millions of records,
but I wanted to do it in a different way.
And so my album was like, that second album was,
there were some songs on it that were still really true to who I am.
But then you can kind of hear there was some music on it, the sounds on it mainly.
I think if you boil any of those songs down to just me on the piano, they're my truth and they're my lyrics and they're beautiful.
But maybe the songs and the way it was crafted around it was like, I was trying like put a jacket on it that could let me play
coachella and like be like no no i can do that too i'm cool right so now you feel like you've
gotten back to that place of like i'm gonna oh i don't care i'm accepting who i am i don't care
all about being cool oh my i'm a mom like i just what what is it what is cool even i just want to
be me and i just want to make music that that's and i
want that yeah i said i want that crown back of that let me be the person people look to for
inspiration and hope like what a beautiful thing how could i ever take that off and and not want
that and now i'm i'm hungry for it let me be that again and let me feel that is my divine purpose
here is to bring healing through my music.
And not only healing, but inspiration and also identity.
Like, I feel like my role is really to remind us who we are, who we truly are.
And I want that back.
I want that more.
I don't know how to say it.
There's got to be a song around losing yourself and finding yourself again.
Oh, I'm writing it.
You're right.
Oh, my God, yeah.
Yeah. around losing yourself and finding yourself oh i'm writing it oh my god yeah yeah now something i know about you from last interview is you talked about the power visualization you've been talking
about this a little bit how in your 20s you really saw yourself on stage with 60 000 people you saw
yourself singing these types of songs winning the awards getting platinum records uh handed to you
you visualize this and they all started to come true yeah where's there has there been a time where you stopped visualizing yeah absolutely
i stopped visualizing after all that happened and it wasn't making me happy and i got really
confused because i was in london lost not enjoying what i had manifested and so i was like maybe i
don't know what's best for me anymore who am i to to ask for things when they're not even making me happy oh so you visualize these
things they come true yeah and then you're not happy yeah and so then i started visualizing
i think uh before i had my daughter i moved into this place i think it was after the israel trip i
was like i just want peace i just want I just want, I just want happiness.
I just want joy, like lasting joy.
I don't want the conditional faith that's, you know,
in these sky highs and low lows.
I just want a constant level of contentment
and okayness with myself and the world.
And I don't know what's gonna bring that.
So whatever you want for me, that's what I want now.
Wow, okay, so are you visualizing now certain i am again though
because i think i needed to rest a little bit in that and and just and now i'm back to being like
oh no what's the dream now i want more i want to be a household name i don't want people to just
know fight song and and to have to be like oh no she's that girl do you know that song that was my
fight song no it wasn't kelly clarkson actually it was this girl rachel patten right i want to I want people to just know Fight Song and to have to be like, oh no, she's that girl, do you know that song? That was my Fight Song.
No, it wasn't Kelly Clarkson actually,
it was this girl Rachel Patton.
I want people to know my name
and I want to have more Fight Songs
and I want to have a lifelong career.
I wanna be releasing music in a decade
and music that I really believe in
and I wanna be playing arenas.
I mean, I got to do it last summer
and I wanna continue to be able to do it and I want to grow and expand because I think that's
what's natural. Expansion is natural and growth is natural. That's true. Do you think it's harder
for an artist or any creative, I talk about it in business as well or authors, do you think it's
harder to make a hit and get successful or is it harder to stay successful oh such a good question because it
took you 13 years until you really made it in a sense until you like okay people know my song
this is a hit yeah it took 13 years it was so much pain and energy and joy yeah to get there
is it harder to get there or is it harder to stay there and continue to grow there? I don't know.
Maybe, I mean, those 13 years were painful.
But it was also, the hustle was kind of fun.
And I wasn't lost in it.
It wasn't like all these, you know, I didn't have to go through the reckoning that I just went through.
That was horrible.
Maybe staying there.
And maybe I think, it's not even staying there i
think it's staying who you are there because no one prepares you for those moments no one tells
you like three months where you have nothing and then you have everything and no one tells you
there's no training no and i tried like media training that was like the extent of what my
training was i needed training like fame training like here's how it's gonna feel when people stare at you
and wanna take your picture.
Here's how it's gonna feel when everyone tells you
that you're better than everyone else.
Wow.
Here's how to not get lost.
And no one tells anyone that.
And maybe we can.
Maybe we can, I don't know.
What would you say to someone who's an artist,
who's got a big dream, who's gonna launch something,
they want it to be huge, they want people to know their name. What would you say about someone who's an artist, who's got a big dream, who's going to launch something, they want it to be huge, they want people to know their name.
What would you say about how to not lose yourself when you become famous in your industry or
in the world?
I don't know, but sometimes I can see it now when someone's like about to hit and I know
them and they're like getting that like, you know, like, and I can feel it and I'm like,
oh my God, I want to hold you so badly because I see that you're starting to let your ego lead.
And I can see you losing yourself because I lost myself.
But then you're like, oh, am I just like jealous?
Maybe that's that word.
Is it coming from like competition or is it like, I think my higher self is like, no, I want to protect them.
But I don't know.
No, I want to protect them.
But I don't know.
I think I would say you need such a deep spiritual practice, and you cannot waver,
and you need to keep the people around you that are not going to be yes people.
Like, I think that's a really dangerous thing that happens with fame or, you know,
people knowing you is that you have everyone who works for you around you.
All of a sudden, it's not your friends that you're surrounded by.
It's people that you're paying.
And so everyone's just going to tell you that like your behavior is okay. And I would say like,
and sometimes people's parents even become yes people to them. Like I've been around famous friends whose parents are very much like an assistant, you know, to them and it's gross.
So I think that having a friend, partner, whatever it is, who's really going to look at you and keep you accountable might be one thing.
What's the biggest lesson your husband's taught you throughout this journey of hitting fame?
Because he was with you when you were nobody.
And then you hit fame, and then you had years of success, launched another album.
It doesn't do the way you want it to.
Have a child, postpartum depression, anxiety, stress every day. what's the lesson he's taught you in the last five years of all this
happening that i'm lovable through all of it that i'm still that i'm that i'm lovable and
that i can love myself the way he can love me and that it doesn't matter like the what comes or goes he's just loved me
really and always seen who i really am and helped me to stay grounded as much as possible
you know when you're skying like flying sky high and totally ungrounded like
he was trying to bring me back down but it was an experience i had to go through myself i think yeah that's interesting
what do you really admire about him the most by being able to stay in a positive state with you
in these last these ups and down these five years what what's the thing you admire the most about
him he's so grounded he does not get he got he gets excited when the exciting things are happening
like when i released the book and it was doing well and when like you know the song came out recently we get excited and
he'll like buy into it for a second and be like baby like um but he's so he's just so him he's
so himself he doesn't ever act differently he's never trying to put on a kevin that like someone
else will like he's not changing who who he is and trying to people please.
He's just Kevin and it's awesome.
And sometimes it's a little unnerving
because I'm like, can you just be a little bit,
act a little, you know?
And he never will, he's just himself.
It's awesome.
That's good.
Have you ever felt like an imposter in the last five years?
Yeah, all the time.
Really?
Oh my God, yeah, definitely.
Like award shows when I'm wearing a ball gown
and like have glam on and I'm like,
and I just, maybe the age difference too
that I was like always like 10 years older than the girls
that were like people that I was coming up with.
I know I look young so it was often like,
people would be like, wait, what, you're 35?
Like what the fuck, I thought you were, yeah.
So maybe that was a little bit when I was hanging out
with Taylor and like all of her model friends
and I was like, what am I doing here?
Like I'm such a dork.
Or also like I wanna be having deeper conversations
than, not that they're not deep, they're beautifully deep,
but like just the whole like thing of it,
like oh, let's all wear cute things
and hope we get paparazzi.
Like that's not who I am.
I think I felt imposter syndrome all the time.
Especially when you're getting, oh, my God, one very funny moment.
This is so good.
I might have done a post about it.
I'm usually that person.
I was flying home from New York or something.
It was, like, 2018, like, the height of me thinking I was something. And I was flying home, and York or something. It was like 2018, like the height of me thinking I was something.
And I was flying home and I got off the flight and had glasses on.
No one cared.
No one was recognizing me.
And I was like, oh, man.
No, people sometimes did, but not nearly the level that I wanted them to.
And I landed at LAX and there was like paparazzi and that had happened.
And I was like, oh
Like okay, whatever like hey guys like just like a couple shots and they're like Amanda Amanda
and I'm like Amanda and
They thought that I was a real like a housewife. Yeah, they had no idea who I was
And my assistant was like it it's Rachel Platt.
And they were like,
who?
So funny.
So it was not.
Oh,
take the camera.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They were just like,
no way.
So good.
What did that do for you?
It was so good.
It was funny.
Yeah.
I had enough of a sense of humor at the time that I was like,
that's really funny.
And I think I called Andy,
Andy Grammar and I,
he's my,
always like my check-in of like,
you know, we consider ourselves siblings in this industry. And I call him and I was like, Andy, you, he's always like my check-in of like, you know, we consider ourselves siblings in this industry.
And I call him and I was like, Andy, you're never going to believe what happened.
He's like, oh my God.
Wow.
How do you move into that in the future by handling imposter syndrome?
What do you think you can do to support yourself to be able to live your authentic self,
step into big moments and not feel like an imposter?
Or do we always feel like an imposter at some time
when we've never been to that level?
Like is there a stage that's too big for you
that you could feel like, what am I doing here?
No, so that's different.
Like okay, when I'm in my truth, when I'm performing,
I never feel like an imposter.
When I'm, even when I was on stage with like Taylor and 60,000 people, I didn't even feel like an imposter. Even when I was on stage with Taylor and 50,000 people,
I didn't even feel like an imposter then.
I felt a really big, this is where I'm supposed to be moment.
You felt like you belonged.
I felt like I belonged.
I felt like, yes, because it didn't feel like it was coming from my ego.
It felt like a way deeper thing that was happening.
I was emitting light.
People were receiving the light.
People were remembering their identity. It was a beautiful energy exchange. I never feel that way when I'm
on stage or writing a song or in a moment that has to do with my music directly. It's the stuff
around it. It's the red carpets and the like paparazzi things and the things that go around
with what you're supposed to do as a celebrity. That's the stuff where I'm like, oh my God,
can you bleep that? I feel so bad. I'm sorry. Don't worry, it's celebrity. That's the stuff where I'm like, oh my God, can you bleep
that? I feel so bad. I'm sorry. Don't worry, it's authentic. It's not good. What do you think has
been the main keys to your success then, to getting to where you're at now? If you could
go back to just the whole life, what do you think it would be? My light. I can own that. I know that I have a humongous light that shines when I let myself be me.
You asked me right before this,
I loved the question,
what would make this podcast the most powerful experience right now?
And I said,
letting my authentic self be like not trying to put a mask on or come off a
certain way or say something to impress people or you like just,
what if I just am
totally honest in myself and um and so far yeah it feels pretty good I'm doing that um and I think
that is my ability with my music and that's what people see and recognize and and are drawn to
in my social media and on stage when they in my music that they listen to, I think they're hearing me and this permission
to let myself and all my shadows
and all my light be seen.
Let just my truest me be seen.
And then it gives people permission to see themselves
and say, oh, Rachel is owning this part of herself,
this imperfection, and if she's doing that,
then it's okay, then I am this imperfect, flawed human too.
And so I think that's
what's allowed me and that's what people are drawn to. Would you say that's true? I don't know if we
ever see ourselves totally clearly. Well, I think when I hit 30, I started to open up and kind of
shed the mask and I'm still probably always going to be doing it, but I'm so aware of it when I have
a mask on or from projecting, right? Whereas when I was pre-30,
I was just living to impress. Me too. And now I'm like, okay, if they don't care about me, then
I don't know, maybe it makes me more interesting that I'm such a mess at times or if I'm
saying the wrong thing or whatever, or if I don't look perfect. And so I'm just so comfortable in my
imperfections. I'm so comfortable with being embarrassed now. I don't
enjoy it, but it's like, okay, I feel fine. I'm not going to die. Like my career is not over. If
I have an embarrassing moment, if I go through something that I am ashamed of, like it's not,
I'm not going to die. It's okay. It's actually probably the, the, we're going to get the most
light, light, light, light. It's's probably, you know, those are the cracks.
And now I can recognize those moments of like,
I've had enough of them, like even my postpartum
was something that I heard from millions of women
being like, thank you so much.
That was an exaggeration.
Thousands of them, sorry.
I'm just checking myself, not millions of women.
I heard from thousands of women being like,
that was, thank you so much for talking about your postpartum on stage.
I've never heard it talked about in public.
Thank you so much for doing that.
Like, that was surprising, and I went through it too,
and I didn't know what it was, or I felt embarrassed about it.
So it's like those things that we can recognize now.
Like, I don't, embarrassment to me, it's never really been a thing.
You're good at leaning into embarrassment.
Like, you've had, and you post about it,
like you mess up the words of the Star Spangled Banner,
which I still don't know what they are, but you-
Definitely.
So embarrassing.
Was it a baseball game or a football game?
By the way, I was pregnant,
so I'm gonna give myself a little grace
and I couldn't tell anyone,
but it was still the most mortifying thing
I've ever gone through.
But that was actually-
It's great for your ego.
So good for my ego.
It was such a humbling
because that was another moment.
I didn't even freaking sound check that day.
You're like, I got this.
I was like, I got this.
I've done this so many times.
I sang this at a way bigger thing.
I just did the All-Star game
and the World Series.
This is a stupid soccer game.
I'm fine.
I don't know what my mindset was,
but I know I was really lost.
Really. I was in the beginning of my pregnancy and really sick. And also like, so the part of
not going to soundcheck was like, I'm throwing up. I don't know. But just like, I got this,
like, it was like, I'm with Taylor. Come on people. You know, it was a little bit of that.
And I think there was a big humbling, like you still need to put effort and, you know,
and respect these
opportunities otherwise this is going to happen because and it's not even like a punishment it's
more just there's going to be pain when you're not grounded in your higher self when you're
separate there's pain when you're not connected when you're not connected you're going to feel
pain and that was the lesson there check in in. Connect with yourself. Like, ground.
You know, let my higher self in.
Connect with the divine.
Otherwise, I'm going to feel pain
because I'm going to think that it's all on my shoulders.
There's going to be some negative result
or some result that you don't like
if you're not connected and present and prepared.
I think prepared is a big one, yeah.
And even if you're connected and prepared, ready,
you still might make mistakes.
But you're more likely to make more mistakes
if you're not connected, if you're not present.
Yeah, and the mistakes when you're all of those things
are gonna be okay.
You know, like I'm on stage now
and I'll still be all those things.
I'll have meditated, I'll have checked in,
I'll have prayed over the show and all the people there,
and like prepared and practiced and warmed up my voice. And I'll still make
mistakes, but they'll be okay because I'll laugh at them with the audience. And I'll be like,
oh my God, I just messed up the words there. Did you guys see that?
It's almost like in the last 10 years, pre-10 years ago, it was like everyone had to put out
this perfect image of who they were. And I think social media now, people are seeing through that.
If it's only all perfect stuff, it's kind of like,
can we relate to someone who shows only the best?
And I think there's a balance of like, okay,
showing stuff that we're happy about,
but also stuff that we're struggling with.
And it makes us more connected to people when we do that.
So I think you did an amazing job.
I agree with you.
Not about me, but about everyone showing their insecurities more. It's like, you can see through
it quickly. You can, it's always this perfect image. It's like, okay, you're not, no one's
living life like that, but we still get confused by it. You know, I'll still look at an account
that's like all the highlights and still compare my, you know,
behind the scenes to that and still feel pain from that.
So even though we know it, when we're not so conscious of it and we're just allowing our limbic system to, like, run
and being in fight or flight, we'll, like, be scrolling
and we'll feel pain and it will hurt and we'll feel like,
oh, I'm not good enough.
Do you feel like in the last year when you were on tour,
being a new mom and dealing with this anxiety and depression, did you feel like you
were dealing with a case of mental health and learning how to master your mental health?
Or do you feel like this was just a period of time because you're a new mom?
And what did you learn about yourself and mental health during that time?
No, it was definitely a mental health thing that I was going through.
And recognizing that and allowing myself to finally say,
this is bigger than just becoming a new mom.
This is, I'm having panic attacks.
I'm struggling with something that actually has a name.
It's postpartum anxiety.
And giving myself the permission to name it
was then allowed me to get the help
that I needed. So what happens when we don't name it? You aren't giving yourself the permission to
heal. Like you're, you're keeping it in the shadow and you're, and it's just this amorphous thing.
And then you can blame other things or other people. And like, I think naming it is so powerful.
It just brings awareness to it, which is bringing light light to it and then you can start to be
supported in the way that you need to be do you feel like you're on the other side now of that
oh yeah oh yeah yeah i'm thank god i'm way i'm i can feel myself again i can feel myself back to
who i am again um i found my light again but even even after six months, I was like, I'm healed.
I was not.
You know, it took a minute.
Also, some of that is breastfeeding
and the hormones you have to regulate.
I breastfed until she was a year old.
And once I stopped,
that was when I was really fully able
to recover my hormonal balance
because you're still then producing
for what your baby needs.
But it was a mental health thing,
and I think women don't feel permission to name that after having a baby
because you're embarrassed about it.
And the truth is, if you need to take medicine,
if you need to have therapy,
if you need to give yourself permission to heal,
you need to be able to name it so you can give yourself all those resources
and not just be like, oh, get it together.
Like, what's wrong with me?
Or call it the baby blues,
which is what a lot of women confuse actual postpartum with
because there is a thing where you get a minor depression
after the serotonin of birth wears off.
But postpartum is something very real,
and it's different than that.
Do you know any moms who their first child, that they're just happy all the time in the first year?
Or does almost every mom that you've met have some type of panic, anxiety, stress, postpartum, depression?
Not every mom has that extreme of having something that's called postpartum.
But I think I do not know a single mom that hasn't had the
shock of what the F just happened. My sister and I were talking last night and she's like,
her friend just had a baby. And she said, her friend called her and said,
Melanie, this is horrible. Why didn't you tell me? And Melanie said,
cause I needed you to join me because it's terrible. And no, and none of us tell each other.
I mean, Hey hey you don't
want to scare women that are pregnant like the last thing you're yeah baby is amazing the last
thing you're gonna do is be like oh by the way it's so hard but also you don't know that that's
they're gonna be gonna be their experience and just because i don't know anyone who's had a
totally blissful experience it doesn't mean that there aren't.
There probably are.
And maybe someone listening is like,
I had an incredible first year and that's good for you.
Or maybe after your fourth child, you're like,
okay, now I know what's happening.
I think definitely after, at least your first child,
the shock, well, I think you have to birth yourself
as a mother too.
And that is-
It's a whole new identity.
Oof, you go from maiden to mother.
I mean, I could talk about this for a long time.
Like you lose the, it's the death of who you were.
And the birth of the mother.
And it's a gigantic reckoning.
There's two births.
Yes.
The mom birth and the child birth.
Yeah.
What is that like?
Oh, my God.
It depends on how much into the, I mean, I don't know how deep you wanna get with this,
but I think for me, I was in a place
where I was depending so much on other people
because of my career.
I had went from like all hustle, all independent,
feisty, doing this myself.
I was my own booking agent and lawyer and tech person.
Publicist. Publicist.
And I carried all my own hundred pound
of piano I'd like lug it upstairs and and then I had everyone doing everything for me I had a
personal assistant literally attending to everything and it was it was very disempowering
and so then my birth into motherhood was really hard because I being a mother is owning your power
and owning that you know best and tapping into your intuition
and trusting that intuition for your baby.
And you cannot look externally for those answers.
I tried really, really hard.
It didn't work until I started trusting
and realizing no one knows better for Violet than I do.
Wow.
So mine was steep.
How do you, I wanna shift for a moment
about the creative artist
and around the topic of money.
Because for many years, you weren't making a lot of money, right?
Is that fair to say?
No, making no money, yeah.
Ten plus years?
Yeah.
What are you making on average years?
Is it tens of thousands?
I was supplementing it with singing voiceovers, playing clubs,
like playing cover of clubs,
maybe like, maybe I was making 20,000 a year.
20 grand a year, maybe at your height.
At my height.
As an indie artist.
I was lucky, yeah.
20 grand, you're scrapping around.
Yeah.
You're eating leftovers everywhere you can,
you're sleeping in the van, you're doing what you can.
Yeah.
How do you navigate now financial wealth as an artist?
Like quickly, within a year, two years time time from 20 grand a year to I don't know
I'm assuming millions when you start to get the bigger contracts. How do you navigate that emotionally spiritually?
mentally
well, I
Changed my mindset around money before I made money. Hmm. That's smart
So I haven't really changed my relationship to money since that big
healing I did. What'd you do around money before you made it? It sounds a little crazy. I had this,
I found this app. I think I read some law of attraction book around money and I, something
like that. And one of those like Napoleon Hill once, and I really believed it. And so I,
they can grow rich. Yeah. Something like that. And I really took it to heart and I started to practice it.
And so I did this long before Fight Song hit.
This is when I was still very broke.
I just started.
It's a little embarrassing.
I'm going to share it with you.
Share it.
I love this.
It's exciting.
It was an app I found.
This is 10 years ago.
I don't know if the app is still around.
And the app was a fake checkbook.
And I'd write myself a check
for $30 million, and then I'd spend it. And I'd be like, oh, $10,000, I want that microphone.
Cool, $20,000, I'm gonna rent this thing.
Dope, I'm gonna get my hair colored for $500
because I couldn't afford that in real life.
I'm gonna go on this $20,000 vacation,
and I would just write, it was a game.
I'd game it, really.
It was like a mental game.
It was a mental game.
And then I'd do this thing where I'd like,
someone told me or some other app I found
was like for 17 seconds,
if you can really stay in the vibration
of that you are a millionaire and I would do it.
And then I do it daily and obsessively.
And then I started giving money away.
Like I really went all for it.
And I know this is a terrifyingly stupid thing. If you
don't, don't believe in this, like people listening are like, what? But I would just give money to
people. I had no money and I would give my money. I would make a hundred dollars from a gig and I
would give $50 of it to a homeless person that I'd see, or like I'd leave $20 in a tip jar when I had
no money. And it was that act of faith that money is an energy.
It is not what we think it is.
And that flipped my mindset.
It still took years to make millions of dollars,
but I haven't changed my mindset.
I still believe that money works the same way.
So now if I'm feeling a little bit of lack,
which I did recently,
we bought a really expensive, beautiful house.
And my husband and I were both like,
oh, shoot, I'm not touring this year.
There's no touring right now, uh oh.
Did we just over, and I realized I went into
a little bit of a lack mindset, and he was like,
well we can't get those hedges that you want,
I know this is like privileged problems,
but it was real for us, I wanted these hedges.
And he's like, oh, and I realized that I had reintroduced a fear around money again.
And so I did a little meditation with myself to reintegrate that belief that money is an energy.
And now I imagine just like God or whatever you believe in the divine writing me a check.
And so I just imagine the exact amount that I want.
What do you do?
It's fascinating.
I love this.
This is a fascinating thing that I've made up.
I think I do this,
a lot of similar things that I do as well.
And I think people need to hear this
because whether you believe it or not,
I think it's important to have a mindset around it,
to be able to be open to attract it.
It doesn't mean it's going to get checks
in the mail the next day.
Mine didn't, mine took a couple years.
It doesn't mean it's all of a sudden going to happen,
but it's not going to happen if you're not thinking in an abundant mindset.
If you're thinking scarcity all the time, why would money come to you?
A mentor of mine told me back in the day when I was broke,
I was working for him as an intern.
I think I made $500 in six months.
I was working out of a closet in the kitchen learning from this business,
but I was happy to be there, and it was the agreement we made because I had nothing and I was like let me learn
and I'll do whatever and at one point we did a walk around the neighborhood
probably six months in and I'm like man I could really use some money I'm pretty
broke yeah he goes money comes to you when you're ready for it I was like I
feel pretty ready for it but he got to have some money right now. I'm ready, girl. But he just kept reinforcing like money will come to you when you're ready for it emotionally,
spiritually, mentally, physically.
And if you get money too soon, too much, and you're not prepared, you're not ready, then
you're going to blow it.
Yeah.
You're going to spend it the wrong way.
Yeah.
You're going to abuse it.
You're going to become a bad person in the act of using money.
Yeah.
And so I think it's really important to have a great relationship
around the idea of money before you have it yes and it sounds like you did that yes so you would
focus on this every day you would spend like a minute a day or 30 seconds in your mind
i think in my lowest point when i after had lost the record possible contract and i was i would
i would obsessively do all of this I would play in
hospitals two times a week and that's because it brought me joy I would meditate I would
lava tract I would go to sleep envisioning these things that I wanted I actually did
I told my friend Kelsey recently this um that I had never shared with anyone I might as well
share these really weird manifesting techniques because they worked.
And forgive me if they sound crazy, but I would play the applause of a stadium in my tiny one-bedroom village apartment with cockroaches.
I would blast the sound of a stadium, and I would close my eyes and take bows as if I had just performed.
I would just be like— I love this.
Thank you.
I love this.
This is amazing.
This is so embarrassing.
I love, I think this is,
this is all stuff that I would do as well.
I would envision myself as an athlete
scoring the touchdown in front of a full stadium.
I think every, you hear all these like baseball players
imagining when their kid getting up
at the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded.
They imagine like swinging and hitting a grand slam.
These are stories we need to tell ourselves.
We need to envision the results we want.
Otherwise, why would they automatically happen to us?
We need to do these over and often.
And I think that's really powerful you did that.
I think everyone should create a game for themselves.
Make it fun.
Make it fun. I made it fun. Make it fun.
I made it fun. Mine was silly.
I'd laugh at myself afterwards.
So you would put the music out loud
of people cheering and bow.
I would, and Matt would be like,
thank you, thank you so much, everybody.
Good night.
That's amazing.
And then I, it would last.
The feeling would last.
I'd open my eyes and I'd be in my tiny apartment,
but I'd still feel the, my,
because time is not real, you know? And who I am now is my tiny apartment but I'd still feel the my because time is not real you
know and and who I am now is the same as who I was then and it's all on a spectrum anyway and I would
in some part of my soul knew that that was a reality that had just happened or that was going
to happen so it was almost like I put myself into that other you know dimension and then got to stay
in that dimension and would go to my gig for 10 people and feel like you guys are lucky you know dimension and then got to stay in that dimension and would go to my gig for 10 people
and feel like you guys are lucky you know you've seen me before yeah i would before i really yeah
i did sometimes believe that i did i had not always i'd also have nights where i'd just feel
embarrassed and feel like oh there's two people here they're not even watching me i'm like
eating salad like or chips or whatever and watching a game and not listening to me.
You're putting your heart into this.
You're like, I just drove 18 hours to be at this little dive bar.
Those were hard.
And no one cares.
But you know what?
My mindset was still, and I'm so glad to talk about this because I need to remember these techniques myself.
Maybe not of the applause because I now know that I can play in
the arena, but that's not necessarily what brings me happiness. It's the permission to truly be me
and to write the music that is from my heart without the voice of the ego or the judge coming
in and saying, this is too cheesy or this is too this. But anyway, my friend who I would always
tour with early in those days, he would say to me,
he was so wise, his name was Craig, he would say to me, he's my drummer too, he'd say,
Rachel, the party is on the stage. It's for us. Let's just have the best night we have. We can.
Let's just play for each other. Whoever wants to join our party, awesome. This is for us.
And so it wouldn't matter. We'd have the best night.
We'd play for 10 people
and they'd have the best night
because they'd feel our infectious joy.
And I would say that to my band this summer.
Even when I was having panic attacks
right before going on stage,
I would be able to have so much fun on stage
because I'd remind myself right before I went on stage,
this is for us, you guys.
This is not for the thousands of people,
whatever, out there.
Let's have the best time. Let's play the best we've ever played. Let's look at each other and
connect and remember that we were once those kids in vans carrying our own pianos, and now look
what we're about to play. Wow. That's inspiring. I think it's always important for us to remind
ourselves of where we've come and the years of pain and suffering and challenge and stress
and not making it and being broke or whatever it may be,
it's important to remind ourselves that.
You're right.
It's funny you say that,
that those were some of the greatest times as well,
like just hustling and schlepping around the country.
They were fun.
You know, having the courage to go up to someone outside
10 minutes before you go out and say,
hey, come on in.
Come watch.
There's no one here.
Like, come watch.
It's free, right?
Just to get like three people there. Yeah.
Because you learn so much about yourself in those times.
Yeah.
You learn a lot about yourself.
What would you say is one of the greatest fears you have right now?
Whether it be in your career, mom, marriage, money.
What's the big fears?
That I will somehow mess my perfect daughter up, that I either buy,
and I will, of course. She signed up for me to mess her up in exactly the way that only I can.
But she also signed up for all my love. So yeah, that's one of my biggest fears,
that I'm going to do something and somehow it's going to scar her and she's going to have to talk to therapists about it in the future and I'm sure she will.
And my other biggest fear is that I'm done, that my career's, you know, that's something that
is like a deep, deep seated fear that I know is, that's my ego. It's not real. Like,
cause when I really listen and go deep, I know I'm not, but yeah.
But why does it seem like a lot of people have and go deep I know I'm not but yeah but why does it seem
like a lot of people have that fear I remember interviewing Steve Aoki and asking him his fear
and he said something similar which was around you know not being relevant anymore I remember that I
remember listening to that one or listening to the clip of that one did I have like my biggest hits
already like are people that I think I'm going to be interesting are they still want to show up to
watch me perform live are other artists going to want to collaborate with me.
Why do we fear staying relevant?
You know, I could look at myself and say,
oh, there's some 23-year-old podcast or who's blowing up or whatever.
Are they going to be more relevant?
Why do we think that way?
I think it's our, I mean, obviously it's our ego.
You know, it's our need to belong and be approved of. And part of it's our, I mean, obviously it's our ego, you know, it's our need to belong and be approved of.
And part of it's biological. It's like, you need to, you know, be part of the herd and be accepted.
And that's how our limbic system works because that's how we stayed protected and
like caveman times. But so I think that's biological. But then I think, um, right now,
the way that social media is and the way
that we're telling each other that we matter is through how relevant we are
and how many likes we are and how many followers we have like that's a really
dangerous thing to do to an artist or someone's creative little tender
vulnerability to say like actually I know that you just poured your heart out
but it doesn't matter unless everyone else tells you it's good and so
I
Wonder you know how many people are not listening to what they truly have might be able to tell the world
For fear that they won't be liked enough very well, you know, and I can ask myself the same question
like what would I do if I were fearless what kind of music would I make if I
was totally fearless and maybe I'll take that from today and and i will actually not maybe
someone someone triggered a question in me it must have been a few weeks ago i can't remember who it
was kai but uh this isn't me saying this from my own thought but someone was saying something like
what would it be like to act knowing you were going to fail because a lot of us don't act because of the fear of
failure what if we acted knowing this is going to fail miserable oh so what would
you do knowing it will fail miserably because you love it you enjoy it and
accept that no one is gonna care it's going to fail would you still want to do
it Wow so many of us wait I was talking to someone I was talking to someone earlier today she's
been wanting to write a script about a movie for ten years and she hasn't been
able to complete it ten years ten years she's been like it's ruminating thinking
about it wanting to get to it and I was like why she was like the fear of
failure but also the fear of success. Like, what happens if it is successful?
And then I got to rise to that occasion and stay there.
It's like.
Did she say that?
She said, then rise and stay there.
It's kind of like, it's kind of what happened to you.
Like, you got successful.
And then it's like, we got to stay there.
Yeah.
Because people are going to think about us if we drop back down.
Yeah, you can't lose it.
Like, how embarrassing is that?
And.
I don't know where I was going with that.
No, it's such a good question.
I mean.
It's like, what's a song that you would write
and put out there knowing that no one cared?
I think I would make a lot more spiritual music.
Like, I think I would talk more about my relationship with God
and not be afraid of how much, like how powerful.
I have a song that I just wrote called Let Go, Let God.
And in my mind, I'm not never going to release it
because like, that's not, I don't know.
Because I don't know.
I'm like, feel like maybe I'd be judged for my talking.
Knowing you will be judged.
I will, and it might fail.
It probably will.
I mean.
But I just wonder.
I'm going to think about that. I'm going to go home and think about it. I love that. And it might fail. It probably will. I mean. I just wonder. I'm going to think about that.
I'm going to go home and think about it.
I love that.
And maybe it's not a now thing.
Maybe it's a later thing.
Maybe it's a never thing.
But it's just something to think about.
Oh, no, no, no.
I mean, I'm going to, I'll probably release that song.
I'm going to think about the question, though, what if it fails.
Like, I think it's amazing.
That question is amazing.
And I want to examine it and understand what part of why I do this is because,
this all gets confusing.
Because part of my soul is like,
no, you're here to expand and influence.
Don't be great, don't change the world, yeah.
And influence, not people in an ego way,
like I got caught up with,
but influence people to be their true selves.
And you have a purpose here. Spread your light.
Yes, you have a massive light to share,
you've been given it because you are supposed to spread a massive amount of light in the world so part of me knows
that has nothing to do with my ego so it's a little it gets a little confusing in there i know
i don't know it's like having confidence but staying humble yeah it's like the balance of
believing in yourself to be great but also not losing yourself not losing yourself and not oh you know what maybe
it's not thinking that it's just you like knowing that it's this is me my stuff doesn't stink and
it's all me it's not you it's the divine coming through no matter what you're doing and what you
believe in its source it's the universal life or it's chi it's prana it's whatever we call it
there's something i don't care who you are what you've done you are tapping into that whether
you know it or not yeah and it's thinking that you're separate from who you are or what you've done, you are tapping into that whether you know it or not. Yeah.
And it's thinking that you're separate from it or that it's you that's doing it.
That's when I think it turns from confidence to ego. Ego, yeah.
Do you think so?
I agree 100% when we start to believe that.
You know, it's tough because there are, in sports, you'll see two types of athletes.
Two extreme types of athletes who are great athletes.
After they win the game, you'll see them getting interviewed, the star person, and the reporter will ask him, like, how'd you do it?
They'll say, you did amazing.
You just won.
How'd you do it?
And you'll see two types of responses.
One is the, I give all the glory to god and it's
like a look up it's a praising god jesus whatever it is that is your god and belief and it's like
i would not be able to do this without that and then you see another type of response which is
like the you know conor mcgregor mayweather muhammad ali response that says i am the greatest
i am the greatest i I am the greatest.
I knew I was the greatest.
No one can beat me in the world.
I trained so hard.
I put in the reps.
I have no doubt that I am the greatest.
Both of them win.
But I don't know that they're different.
At least in Muhammad Ali's sense,
I know he was a man of deep spirituality and faith.
And the claiming we both know,
the claiming I am,
is a phrase of the divine.
And what we claim after that is our truth. And so I don't know that they're separate. I think you are invoking the divine by saying, by me sitting here and saying to you, Louis, I am an incredible
songwriter. I am a powerful source of light. I am special. It doesn't take away, that doesn't put me in ego unless I start
believing that there's nothing else helping me get there. So I don't know that they're that
different unless it's a person who is obviously so disconnected that they're harming people with
their beliefs or acting in a way that's out of alignment, like I talked about that I had been,
and starting believing their hype, and treating people badly.
True, true.
But I think if you stand up like Muhammad Ali did,
and said, I am the greatest,
F yeah, you are.
He is.
For sure.
He was, and he influenced a massive amount of people,
and it could be argued that he ended the Vietnam War,
with his humongous protest,
and we don't need to go into that, but yeah.
Sure, for sure.
So were you saying before that you're thinking about releasing this spiritual song?
No, I mean, I guess I've been playing it for random people that I know have deep faith.
You never thought about putting it out there?
No, not really.
I didn't even send it to my publisher or manager because I was kind of like, they'll make fun of me.
It's interesting.
I don't know if you know Leanne Rimes.
I do, yeah. But well, I'm not well.
You know her.
Yeah, we're friends.
She came and spoke at my event last year,
Summit of Greatness, and I asked her if she would do
some type of spiritual healing song.
She was like, well, I've never really done this,
but there's been something I've been wanting to do,
like my heart's been telling me to do,
which is more of like this meditative,
spiritual, soulful sound.
I need to call her.
Sound that has like a meditation
and it's a song,
but it's more of like a...
I get it.
You know what I mean?
I have the same calling.
And she started the event.
She was the first one on stage
and she sat down and she did this unbelievable,
it was like the whole room was crying, opening their hearts.
But it's not her traditional pop star personality thing.
And I was like, you need to do more of this.
I don't care if it's not number one on iTunes.
You're changing lives and it's fueling her soul.
She loves it.
And she's doing more of it now.
I think she put out some stuff online recently.
Oh, cool.
I'm going to go listen.
But you should connect with her.
And I feel like artists should do more of the things that they love as well, knowing
it might fail miserably.
Yeah.
And that's okay.
Yeah.
You keep doing the other stuff that you know is going to keep you alive and make you money
and inspire people.
Because the other stuff is also that for me. Of course. There you go. So the music that I'm writing when I'm on the piano. It is you. and inspire people. But I have to stop you because the other stuff is also that for me.
So the music that I'm writing when I'm on the piano and I am, it is me. That is actually my
thing that Leanne Roams was doing. Yeah, I have this calling, but it doesn't feel like my truth
as much as these powerful songs, anthems that I am pouring. Yeah. Like that I'm back in and wanting
and writing right now in my home studio and screaming at the top of my lungs. Like I know that those are my thing that she just did.
That's cool.
So the other thing might be a sidebar.
You just lost yourself trying to do other stuff.
I lost myself.
Now you're coming back.
Yeah, I might sidebar eventually and do a meditation album,
but that's not what my purpose is on this world
and how I'm meant to use my light
in the most big truest way.
Right, that's cool.
Do you think you'll ever not be afraid of being relevant. Do you think you'll ever not be afraid
of being relevant?
Do you think you'll ever be like
at peace
whether you're
in mainstream culture
and relevant with hits
or years stretches
of like not as relevant?
Will you ever be?
I think that I will.
I actually do.
I really do see that
for myself.
Yeah.
I do.
I think the path that I'm on
how much I've grown
even now that fear is lessening even the permission to
be on stages summer and talk about my mental health issues was
You know even releasing the song that I just released which I'm so proud of
I wasn't trying to put out something that was like cool at the moment
I was just trying to put out something that I thought would be healing for the world right now that touched on what we're going through and i was more i was a little
confused why more artists weren't speaking to the time that we're in right now and so i was like
well i want to and regardless of what happens and actually maybe i did have that understanding this
might fail this doesn't sound like you know cool to a leap of song right now or something and
who cares i'm proud of it so i do something called
soldiers right yeah yeah i think it's a great song i think it's a great song too you don't have a
music video though do you with it no i'm mid trying to figure out how to make one and what to
do for a pandemic and everything yeah like and how to safely do it and what concept do you even do
because i don't know in the beginning i'm not on a label right now too
and so all of this comes from me so it's independent yeah so you just say okay i'm
gonna put this out on spotify itunes yeah i'm gonna do this independently on my own label and
which is an amazingly empowering thing how does that work is this the first time doing that
i did it with you belong the song that inspired the book. The book, yep. And that was the first time I put something on independently since long ago.
And the permission to just put out what you want without the label telling you.
Approving of it.
Is so freeing.
It's also scary, though, because the whole relevance thing comes in.
Like, without the big machine, even though I have followers and listeners and I have an audience now,
I don't have access to the same things that I did when I was.
Right.
The distribution,
the marketing,
the PR.
Yeah,
exactly.
So yeah,
I think it's like now I am have,
I am putting things out with the awareness.
Like this might not do as well commercially because I don't have the machine
behind me,
but I'm at least I get to put out what I love and I get to own my masters.
Interesting, yeah.
Which artists don't.
Because you don't own fights on masters.
No, no.
So how does that work?
You put out this massive hit.
You write it.
Yeah.
I pretty much wrote it by myself.
So there's another writer on it
but he was only there for the first day
and then it took me two years to write it.
So I have most of the publishing.
Two years? Two years to write it. Yeah write it. So I have most of the publishing. Two years?
Two years to write it.
Yeah.
Okay, so you have most of the publishing.
Most of the publishing.
So there's, you know, a song is 200%,
you have the master is 100%,
and you have the publishing is 100%,
so I own most of the publishing.
The master is the...
The label owns the master.
They own 100% of that.
Yeah.
It's just really bad, and it's dangerous,
and if any artists are listening... Man, they're making if any artists are listening, be careful what you're signing.
If you are about to explode and you're listening to this, know that you have the power.
And I refuse.
I will never make that kind of a deal again.
Hopefully, I'll be in a position where I can do a 50-50 share of my masters in the future.
Of the master.
And that's more fair then.
Because if they're putting the effort behind promoting it and launching it and radio distribution, then that's a fair cut in the future. Of the master. And that's more fair then because if they're putting the effort behind promoting it
and launching it
and radio distribution,
then that's a fair cut in your mind.
Yeah.
So if you're publishing it
and you're writing it
and you have another writer,
you can get 50 to 70% there.
You get 50% of the publishing.
You keep 100 to 125%.
Then you're like,
okay, that's good.
I already feel very grateful
for how much I get from Fight Song.
So I don't want to be greedy in it, but it's more just like an energy thing.
I think the music I'm making now, I'm not an unknown anymore.
So now if I went to a label with songs that I felt were fire, like, no, no, no, this is it.
I don't have it yet.
I'm mid-writing them.
So I don't have them finished yet to send to anyone to be like, I am ready.
But I can feel them bubbling.
They're in, they're being made, they're being created.
They're there, like they're little seeds and they're like coming, starting to form.
And when I'm done with those, I will feel that I have that power to go to someone and be like, this is going to be humongous.
Do you want to get on board?
This is how you can get on board.
And I'm going to listen back to this podcast and be like,
what was she talking about?
And be like, oh, does anyone want this?
When do you know that you've written a hit?
Like when do you know when the recording is done,
that you're like, this is it?
And has there ever been a time where you're like,
this is it, that it didn't turn out to be that?
Yeah, all the time.
I think you have to daily believe your hype.
I think you have to, every time you end a session think you have to daily believe your hype i think you have to every time you end a session you have to be like that is the best song that is
another you have to believe it it's part of the creation process that actually songwriters talk
about a lot like there's a meme where songwriters forget this joke it's like two co-writers are just
talking to each other obsessively that was the best one we've ever heard that was the best song
we've ever written oh my god that's the best song we've ever written. That was the best song we've ever written. Oh, man, that was the best song.
You do that every session.
You're like, is this amazing?
I think this is amazing.
And then like an hour in, you're like,
is this, I'm a terrible songwriter.
This is the worst thing we've ever written.
And then you end the day and you're like,
that was good.
Yeah.
And I don't think you know.
You don't know.
I mean, although that's not true. I knew.
With the songs that have really reached people, I knew.
You felt something emotionally.
I felt them, yeah.
But there was a song that I really knew it about on my last album called Grace
that I felt deeply like this is meant to be something very healing and very big.
And it wasn't.
I mean, it was in a movie and it was listened to by whatever 40
million percent so i maybe that's it but um you thought it'd be bigger i thought it'd be bigger
and i think maybe part of it was the thing that we talked about way earlier in the conversation where
it was a um thing that was a gift like not having another humongous hit yeah was a gift so that i
could come back to who i am have you ever seen an artist who puts something out, it does well, but not as big as they
want in the first year, and then three years later it pops?
Yeah.
Is that a possibility for people?
That's a good question.
Have you ever seen that where you're like, oh, I wrote this song like seven years ago,
and now it got in this movie where people shazammed it?
Actually, I'm sure there are those stories.
I don't know them firsthand, but have you heard of them?
No, I'm curious.
I think that that's something that is common.
Because maybe this thing could pop at some point again.
I actually do believe that.
I actually do believe that maybe that album will be revisited
when my next album is a huge success.
I'm going to own it.
You got to.
I have to, yeah.
I think that there is definitely stories where like artists or writers have written a song and it's gotten passed over for years or put out by one artist and then another artist records it.
Like Whitney Houston records it and all of a sudden it's, yeah.
It's a thing.
Yeah.
How do you manage not doubting yourself on a daily basis?
Like how do you believe in yourself enough to continue to go forward when when it
doesn't always go your way do you have a process for helping yourself overcome self-doubt oh my
god i'm like so in it right now especially as a mom when you're like oh i'm doing this wrong and
this wrong and this isn't working and i just did it this morning i mean i wake up every morning
like lately i'm really in it right now i wake up every morning with like a dull level of doubt I
also think it's the collective and what what we're feeling so those of us who are really sensitive
and also in a position of influence we're feeling it more so I'm I'm feeling daily like I have to
shift myself um this morning I woke up just with like a dull level of like
and then I read something that would fill me up and I did yoga and I
meditated and I did some Kapalavati breathing and I did some, you know, then I listened
on the way here to something that would fill my soul. I mean, I did a lot of work. It took
two hours to get myself back to my light.
Wow.
So I think it's daily work for me.
If you didn't do that work, where would you be?
I'd be in a really different place,
or I'd be in a really different position right now.
I'd probably be trying to impress you.
I'd probably be exaggerating
and not admitting my vulnerability,
because I think that I have something to protect.
And I think that's when darkness gets a real hold of us,
when we think we have to start covering up and exaggerating.
And then you can't be yourself.
But right now I feel so confident with sharing any embarrassing thing with you.
Yeah.
How do you maintain a daily time practice as a mom?
And, you know, I think there's a lot of moms out there that are like,
I have no time to even give myself 10 minutes of meditation or breathing how are you able to manage that
and what advice do you have to other moms on making sure they do a little bit of practice
because i feel like if you don't do any practice on a daily basis for yourself you're gonna be
empty you know what when i'm really deep in mom land and like not getting a break and i don't
have a nanny for my day,
and I'm really grateful to be in a position
where I have help,
and I have a husband that's really supportive
and co-parents beautifully,
but when it's all me, and there's days when it's all me,
I'll read a book with her, a meditation book with her,
and we'll do deep breathing together.
No way.
Yeah, there's a little book called Breathe Like a Bear,
and then there's one called Breathing Makes It Better,
and we do deep breaths.
And I'll sit her on my lap, and I've done this multiple times
when I'm overwhelmed and feeling panicky.
Back when I was still having postpartum and I'm feeling a panic attack
and she's on my lap, we would read a meditation book
and I would start doing deep belly breaths of expanding my diaphragm horizontally
so that the prana can really flow,
and we do it together.
And I'd say, Violet, okay, the bear takes a deep breath.
Can we take a deep breath?
And she'd go, and we do deep breathing.
So integrating it with your child.
Integrating it with your child, yeah.
That's beautiful.
If there was one lyric, one line,
in all the songs you've written
that represents the last year for you,
what would that sentence be in any one of your songs?
Oh, my God, that's a horrible question.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, have you ever asked other artists this before?
This is so tough.
First thing that comes to mind of the last year you had,
all the different ups and downs.
Maybe something from grace.
What is it?
I used to wear love like an army.
I used to know nothing could harm me.
Now fear got up into my head.
I'm all in my head.
And I need grace.
I think I need grace for myself, for what I went through,
for what I'm going to go through next.
That's beautiful.
I think we all need that.
Yeah.
I think we all need grace.
A lot of us put a pressure on ourselves every single day
that it's unneeded pressure.
Oh, my God, I know.
We're so hard on ourselves.
You guys are machines of inspiration.
Yeah, moms are awesome.
Moms are awesome.
Moms are awesome.
To all the moms listening,
you guys are amazing.
It's amazing.
You've got a song out right now
called Soldiers,
which is really inspiring.
They can go listen to it on Spotify.
Yes.
You have a channel on Spotify.
I saw Fight Song had
almost over a half a billion
downloads on Spotify.
Have you seen that?
Yeah, I didn't look at the latest.
That's cool.
It's like 520 million, I think,
downloads.
That's cool.
Isn't that crazy to think? Yeah. Something you've created has that many downloads. Yeah, that didn't look at the latest. That's cool. It's like 520 million. I think that crazy
Yeah, something you've created. Yeah that many downloads. Yeah, that's crazy people
Singing that song daily. Yeah, I'm so grateful for it
Sometimes I forget to like really check in and have a billion and that's that's wild. It's crazy. It's exciting
Yeah, it is exciting people to go listen to if you haven't heard fight song in
a while go listen to that check out soldiers it's on your spotify page uh you also got this book
which is a beautiful book called you belong and uh it's based on one of your songs as well i
recommend you guys if you're a mom go get this and when you feel overwhelmed and stressed you
can read this book to your child your child yeah and work on some breathing as well. That's right.
So get this book, You Belong.
In the last episode, we talked about three truths.
I'm not sure if you remember what these were for you, but I'm curious if you have new three
truths.
I'm pretty sure I asked you this, but I'm going to give you a hypothetical question.
Oh, I want to know what mine were a couple years ago.
We'll find out afterwards.
This is a hypothetical question,
and you're at a different stage in your life right now,
so these might be different answers.
But imagine it's your last day on Earth many years from now,
and you're as old as you want to be,
and you've accomplished every dream.
You've impacted the world.
You've got the family you want. You've got your kids growing up, everything.
But for whatever reason, you've got to turn the lights off
and go to the next place wherever you go.
Not in this world.
And for whatever reason, hypothetically, you've got to take all of your music with you.
Your book, your music, this interview, everything that you put out, it's got to go with you to the next place.
But you get to leave behind three things you know to be true from your life.
Three lessons that you would share with the world that we would all have access to.
What would you say are those three truths for you?
that we would all have access to.
What would you say are those three truths for you?
One, that you are divine.
You come from someplace bigger.
You're going to go back to someplace bigger.
And I think this is all one.
Two, that everyone is divine,
that you're connected to every other living thing in this planet,
and that you are never separate and you are never alone,
and that everything you do, everything you do impacts everyone else.
And three, that our biggest job,
let me try to not gracefully say this first and stumble over it.
Our biggest responsibility with this gift of life is to answer that calling of what have you been gifted with to share the world?
And what would you give the world if you weren't afraid that it would fail or be judged?
Give that. Give that.
Give that in the biggest possible way you can.
And don't compare yourself or don't compare that thing in you to anyone else's because yours is unique and yours is special and we need exactly what you have to give.
Yeah.
Amen to that.
Those are powerful.
We'll have to see what the last three ones are.
But I want people to go listen to the previous episode we did.
Oh, me too.
Let us know.
We'll link it up.
What the other ones were.
We'll link it up so you can see that.
Make sure you get the book, You Belong.
Really beautiful book.
And listen to the song.
On repeat, Soldiers.
And share with your friends.
It's powerful.
Yeah, it's powerful for right now.
Really inspiring.
I'm going to ask you.
I've asked you your definition of greatness before.
So I'm going to have people go back and listen to that one. But I want to ask you a final question before I do. I
want to acknowledge you, Rachel, for being an incredible gift. I love this part. I'm really,
I'm just a fan of you as a human being. I'm really grateful for you. You've been a great friend over,
I think, three years since we've known each other. Even though we're busy and have things
going on, I just feel really connected to you and I appreciate you as a human being.
And I'm grateful for you for sharing these things
because I think a lot of moms need to hear this
and know that it's not easy
and it's okay to give yourself grace.
So I really acknowledge you for constantly showing up
and grateful you showed up here today
and shared everything.
And hopefully we'll get you back on soon in the future
when you do more fun things but my final question is what is a question you wish
more people would ask you that they don't ask you what other songs we've
written maybe that well where can we listen to the rest of your music? For sure. Well, it's all on Spotify. Yeah.
Maybe, I'm kind of kidding about that.
I think maybe, who are you really?
What are you afraid of?
And yeah, something about that gives me permission to be my real self.
Like you asked me it.
Yeah.
Whatever would trigger me to feel like I have permission to really be me.
I don't know what that question exactly would be.
Different versions of it.
I like that.
Being able to open up.
Yeah.
To be vulnerable and permission that I'm okay as I am.
And that you're okay as you are.
And what's the thing you're most proud of that people don't know about you?
The massive amount of work I do on myself.
To just understand and heal and grow and learn from my mistakes and just get better as a human being. Just constantly trying to, you know, bring more
love and figure out the barriers to love. Yeah. Appreciate you. I love you, buddy. Oh my God.
It was so fun. Pod number two. The, the pod. That's right. The pod.
I'm so grateful for Rachel for coming on the show again, for opening up, for sharing so
much wisdom, so many of her stories and lessons.
And if you found this powerful and inspiring in any way, then make sure to share this with
a friend, lewishouse.com slash 1028, or just copy and paste the link wherever you're listening
to this podcast and text this link to a friend right now that you think would be inspired by this story and inspiration.
The best way to help yourself is to inspire people around you and make them better and lift them up.
So share this with them.
It's absolutely free.
And if this is your first time here, click that subscribe button over on Apple Podcast for the School of Greatness.
And make sure to leave us a rating and review. We'd love to hear your thoughts on how this inspired you or lifted
you up. And if you want inspirational text messages from me every single week sent to your phone,
then text the word podcast right now to 614-350-3960. Very grateful for Rachel. Make sure
to go follow her over on social media
tag her on social media to let her know that you're listening to this and what part of this
story inspired you the most and i want to leave you with this quote from singer-songwriter
meredith brooks who said find your authentic voice become vulnerable and then put yourself
out there this is part of life opening up being vulnerable with your friends and loved ones and
the people around you. Creating more meaningful and deeper relationships and connections in this
world happens truly when you start to open up and become vulnerable and accept yourself. And if no
one's told you lately, you are loved, my friend. You are worthy and you matter. And I'm so grateful
for you. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.