The School of Greatness - 1080 How to Master The Law of Attraction (5 Steps To Achieving Anything You Want)

Episode Date: March 5, 2021

Today you will learn how to master the law of attraction so you can achieve anything you want in life!For more go to: www.lewishowes.com/1080Joe Dispenza’s full episodes: www.lewishowes.com/1054 & w...ww.lewishowes.com/1055 Rhonda Byrne’s full episode: www.lewishowes.com/1037Sadhguru’s full episode: www.lewishowes.com/965John Assaraf’s full episode: www.lewishowes.com/400 Gabby Bernstein’s full episode: www.lewishowes.com/865

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is episode number 1080 on how to master the law of attraction. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.
Starting point is 00:00:36 The Buddha said, what you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine you create. And Napoleon Hill said, set your mind on a definite goal and observe how quickly the world stands aside to let you pass. Today's episode is a special one. And if you've been a listener of the show for a while, then you may have realized that we have not posted a 5-Minute Friday in the last couple weeks. And I'm working on a very special project for those who love that short, motivational, bite-sized format. And I'll be coming out with something soon with this new project about five minute Fridays. But in the meantime, this day is going to be reserved for more long form, powerful, mind blowing content. And this week is all about the law of attraction and manifesting
Starting point is 00:01:16 success in your life. And today I'm going to bring you some of my favorite moments about creating abundance and achieving anything you want in life. And for me, this is something I've been practicing since I was a very young kid, whether it be in sports and relationships and business, and really just attracting the things that I want in my life, whether it be meeting the right people. I always seem to be able to show up in the right places and meet the right person who then unlocks something for me for a goal and a dream that I have. And there is power around your thoughts, your intentions, and your actions that lead into accomplishing your goals.
Starting point is 00:01:53 And I want to break it down for you in this process. Today, we have Dr. Joe Dispenza, who's going to share how to take back your energy and attract a better life for yourself. We have Rhonda Byrne, who's the creator of The Secret, who shares how to take back your energy and attract a better life for yourself. We have Rhonda Byrne, who's the creator of The Secret, who shares how to overcome all of your challenges in life. Sud Guru shares how to deal with your negative emotions that might hold you back. John Assaraf shares the key to manifesting and achieving success. And Gabby Bernstein shares how to get rid of the fears that are holding you back.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Now, if you're enjoying this in any moment, make sure to share this with a friend that you think would be inspired. You can just text them, post it on social media. And a reminder, if this is your first time here, click that subscribe button over on Apple Podcasts right now to be subscribed to the School of Greatness, as well as give us a rating and review and let us know what you enjoyed most about this at the end of this episode. Okay, in just a moment,
Starting point is 00:02:45 let's learn how to attract and create the life you've been dreaming of. In this first section, Dr. Joe Dispenza shares how we can change our thoughts to take back our energy, to attract better relationships, success, and peace for ourselves. I can never get enough of Dr. Joe's wisdom
Starting point is 00:03:04 about unlocking the power of our mind. The stronger the emotion you feel from some outer experience in your life, the more altered you feel, the more the brain freezes the frame and takes a snapshot. Well, now you're freezing a frame in the outer environment. But if you're truly in the present moment and you know exactly what you want and you begin to teach your body emotions, start practicing opening that heart. It's amazing what happens. The moment that heart begins to open, we've measured this so many times, Lewis, on a scan, on a real-time brain scan. When the heart moves into this kind of rhythm, when you're feeling frustration, when you're feeling impatient, when you're feeling resentment, you are stepping on the gas pedal and you're stepping on the brake at the same time.
Starting point is 00:03:53 And the heart is pumping against the closed system and it causes an erratic beat. It becomes incoherent. And energy literally leaves the heart. Now, you no longer believe in your future. You can't put your heart into your future. You can't trust the outcome because there's no energy there. It's being used and consumed somewhere else. So energy is leaving the brain as well.
Starting point is 00:04:12 But once energy starts to move into the heart, we've seen this so many times, and it starts to beat in this rhythm, like banging a drum or dropping a pebble in water, pebble after pebble. The heart begins to create a wave of energy right to the brain, like taking a big sheet and going like that. And then all of a sudden you see this wave, and the brain gets this rush of energy, and that change in brain wave patterns, that change, that wave is carrying information. And the person starts to get a very clear idea they see their future very clearly now now that energy is causing them to move into very coherent alpha brainwave
Starting point is 00:04:52 patterns which is the state of creation this is when you no longer hear the voice in your head that's talking to you that you listen to and believe is the truth i'm not good enough yeah whatever that is that's called the default mode It suppresses the default mode network. And the next thing you know, you start seeing in pictures and images, you start dreaming. And that's the imagination. That's the creative state. So now you start naturally imagining the heart is the creative center. We've got to put our heart into our future. It better be open and activated. So now when you start falling in love with your future, oxytocin is released in the brain and in the heart. Oxytocin signals nitric oxide. Nitric oxide signals another chemical called endothelial derived relaxing factor. And just
Starting point is 00:05:38 like when your sexual organs get filled with blood because you're aroused, the same thing happens here as it would happen somewhere else. And literally the arteries in the heart and lungs engorge. And now your heart feels full and it's thumping in order. And you're in the present moment. Now, once that happens and it's beating in rhythm, the heart produces an external magnetic field up to three meters wide. Now you're in survival. you're drawing from the field and turning it into chemistry. When you get energy in the heart,
Starting point is 00:06:08 it's causing a change in the brain, and all of a sudden it's resetting the baseline for trauma, and now here you have a magnetic field. Now the heart is your magnet. It is the center of creation. And now that energy is frequency. And frequency carries information. And you can lay the thought of your new relationship on that energy because it's consistent with it.
Starting point is 00:06:34 You cannot lay the thought of your new relationship in need. That's a different energy. What do you mean in need? Well, if you're feeling... I'm needing someone to love me, a partner. Yeah, of course. That's a different frequency. That's a different energy. What do you mean in need? Well, if you're feeling... I'm needing someone to love me, a partner. Yeah, of course. That's a different frequency. That's a different energy.
Starting point is 00:06:46 What happens when you're in a need state as opposed to an attraction state? Well, you're in lack. So now you're trying, you're grasping, you're controlling, you're forcing, you're trying to predict, you're overthinking, overanalyzing. And that's how people live their relationships. So then if you are going to prepare your brain and body for a new relationship, then you would have to become love completely every day. And that signal then that you're sending out into the field can carry with life, so satisfied in the moment, so exuberant that it's impossible to want. Now you're no longer in lack.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Now you're so whole that you will magnetize wholeness in your life. magnetize wholeness in your life. The person who's the person that fits the mold energetically, that would be the same as you and yet compliment you so that the two can become one, right? And then instead of in contrast, in union, you exchange information equal to that emotional state. In other words, people use each other to reaffirm their dependence on certain emotions. You have certain people you complain with about politics or whatever. They complain back about their lives and you use each other to reaffirm,
Starting point is 00:08:13 you know, some type of belief about life emotionally. You have emotional agreements on things. Well, that emotion is energy and energy is frequency and frequency carries information. So you share the same energy, you share the same information, but that's what people do in their lives. But now in a true loving relationship, when you're truly in your heart, then the question is what would love do in the relationship? And when your heart is open, it's no longer about you. It's about how I feel so amazing with you. I feel even more amazing, but without you, I'm still whole.
Starting point is 00:08:53 And so now I'm no longer in need or lack. And so now when we get together and our fields interfere, when they start interfering, now the amplitude gets way higher and there's way more energy. And now, I mean, I'm all about all seven centers of the body lining up, all of them. And we're here in a body, let's enjoy it all, but come from love. And so now your heart is so open that you can't do anything else but give. You feel so amazing. You're so happy with yourself, so happy with your life, so happy with what you have. You want other people to feel the same way. And you say, here, take that. And when you give now, guess what happens? You release more oxytocin, more nitric
Starting point is 00:09:37 oxide, and more of those chemicals that cause the heart to swell even more. Then all of a sudden, your immune system gets stronger. And all of a sudden your immune system gets stronger and all of a sudden your body starts feeling better. You start having more energy. And now the constructive interference between two people that are coming together in wholeness and no longer dependence or lack or separation or need is a different game. So then what they do to protect, to nurture, to grow, to evolve that love is one of the most important things that they have. Not because they're doing it out of obligation or because they're married or whatever. It's just they can't not do it. We see people, we had somebody scan the other day in our workshop in profoundly high amounts of gamma. She can do it on command. And there's an incredible arousal that takes place
Starting point is 00:10:34 that goes along with these high brain frequencies that you can only describe as ecstasy or bliss. Now you're getting that ecstasy and bliss, not from anyone or anything out there. No drug, no person, no, no football game, no shopping spree is doing that. It's somehow inside. It's coming from within. Like what is that connection that you have? And so one of the scientists said to this woman, how do you do that? You know what she said? I have difficulty not doing it. I can't not do it when I'm in a relationship. When I'm doing this, it's too good. So now, that could be a constant feeling in your life. So now... What, love? Independent of anyone or anything, it's coming from within you. Okay. So think about this.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Whether you're in a relationship or single. Doesn't matter. You're whole. Your love is not wavering. It's constant, right? So now imagine having this feeling. And when oxytocin is released, what most people don't know is that it seeps into the amygdala and there's certain survival emotions in the amygdala, fear and anxiety, aggression and anger, pain and suffering. And it literally shuts the lights out in those circuits in the amygdala. And there's only one thing left, love and joy, right? So now this person is suppressing the survival centers, resetting the baseline of the past how they perceive the past and now the research on oxytocin shows that when you have just a slight slight level of
Starting point is 00:12:12 increase in ours our research shows our students are way outside of normal that it's impossible to hold a grudge you know why because the feeling feels so good why would you judge another person or why would you react to some condition and lose that feeling? You figure it out really fast. So this birth of unconditional love really says I'm in love with myself, my connection to some divine intelligence within me. within me and because I'm so in love with life and with myself I'm looking at life through the lens of love which means I'm gonna allow you to be whoever you want around me I don't really you I'm no longer not a reaction I'm not actually because I've overcome my fear I've overcome my anger and now I'm ready
Starting point is 00:13:01 for love and now that relationship that you have, if you find that equal, that's a needle in the haystack because now it's a vibrational match. And so as long as you're evolving, as long as I'm evolving, as long as we're sharing the same ideals, as long as we're working together, as long as we have our independence, and as long as we come together, and we bring our best. And I say to you, how was your day? I mean, what did you learn? Or let's start our day. So how are you going to be today? Come on, let's just support each other. So what are the programs you're going to stay away from? Are you going to rush? You know, what did you do yesterday that you want to improve today? How can I support you? How can I love you in that? You want to text at noon? What do you need? And then how am I going to be?
Starting point is 00:13:45 Okay, tell me how you can vocalize it, articulate it, so that now I understand your intention and I can support that's good. And so then when the person can articulate it, what are they doing? They're rehearsing in their minds who they're going to be. And so now they're becoming conscious of that future. And then they have to work on staying on staying conscious of their unconscious programs and by articulating that they're going to let not let those thoughts slip by as well so then now you have two people in evolution it's no longer about all the other things it's not about the money it's not about the sex it's not about the weight it's
Starting point is 00:14:21 not about the diet those are all all things that we already know. This is something else. This is a whole other level where when you exchange and evolve on this level, it's the most important thing. Because now you see that person as a mirror. Oh, my God. She did amazing. I'm in love with her. I admire her.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Wow, she's got it going on. She, she executed today. She, she, she got her behaviors to match her intentions. And I want to celebrate her like, like, wow, I'm in awe that to me, you don't work on that. You work on you. Everybody works on themselves and then they bring their best. And if they're not at their best, excuse yourself and get back to your best. And if they're not at their best, excuse yourself and get back to your best. And if you tell me it's that person or that circumstance, we went back to the unconscious program of being a victim. Nothing wrong with that.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Nothing wrong with reacting. But the next question is how long? Are you going to stay in this mode? Right. Or do you want help getting out? Right. So I think that when you start feeling those elevated emotions and your energy is synchronized right and it's you got a wi-fi signal right you got a signal connected you're 5g you're connected you're connected and what are you connected in in this
Starting point is 00:15:38 sense of wholeness the sense of love the sense of joy joy, this satisfaction with yourself and your life. And when, I mean, I watch this, Louis. I mean, people come to our events for all kinds of reasons. Some people come for health. Some people come for wealth. Some people come for relationships. It's really funny. And they show up, angry people, they're angry with themselves. When they're angry with themselves, they'll be impatient and angry with others. People who are unhappy with themselves will punish other people so that they can feel their unhappiness. Or is it to get their anger out? Or is it why? No, because that's who they are.
Starting point is 00:16:15 That's the emotion that's driving their behaviors. People who are in love with themselves will find love in others. People who are happy with themselves will find something that they can connect with. They won't see all the flaws. They'll see some part of them that they want to enjoy. I mean, so if you're in a relationship and you've scrubbed the cupboard and you've taken out all those skeletons and you've looked at them and you said, I don't want to bring this into my relationship. I don't want my insecurity to be there. I don't want my fear to be there. I don't want my judgment to be there. I don't want my emotions from other relationships to be there. So let me finish this. In other words, if you want love in your life,
Starting point is 00:16:57 in your future, then you better take care of your frustration because you can't bring that there. You got to leave it. So then you may say to me, well, it's because that person in this emotion from 15 years ago, my ex makes me feel frustrated. Well, let me tell you something. The only reason that you're thinking about your ex is because you're still in frustration. You overcome frustration. You look back at your ex and you'd be like, I wish them well. I'm not connected to my past any longer.
Starting point is 00:17:26 well i'm not connected to my past any longer so cleaning the cupboards and getting down to those thoughts that slip by people's awareness all the time their behaviors how they complain they make excuses they say it'll never happen what do they do and the emotions that keep them connected to their past they won't they won't even see that person. They'll walk right past their future relationship. They'll never recognize that person because they're looking at their future through the neurology and the chemistry of their past. And the brain only learns by, we only see reality based on pattern recognition. I memorized your face. Now I know Lewis. And if the pattern matches, I know. But if you're creating a future and you're not clear on that future and you want all these things, but you haven't addressed all those circuits and behaviors and emotions and chemicals
Starting point is 00:18:18 of the past, you won't recognize the pattern. You'll walk right past the relationship. You'll never see it. So, so I think that there's the preparation for the relationship, the overcoming and overcoming and overcoming and overcoming and overcoming and becoming all of a sudden now says I am worthy. And the universe only gives us what we think we're worthy of receiving. So when you're worthy to receive, it's not going to be on match.com when you're looking at body parts and whatever else. This is going to be like ka-ching. An energy connection. Like that came out of nowhere because when you're in survival
Starting point is 00:19:00 and you're in separation and you're in lack and you're forcing and controlling and trying to predict outcomes. You're matter trying to change matter. And of course, it's going to take time for this to happen because you're creating a three-dimensional reality and everything in three-dimensional reality takes time. But when you're creating from the heart, with a coherent brain and a coherent heart,
Starting point is 00:19:22 and you've got that 5G Wi-Fi signal. It's not like you go anywhere now. The experiences are coming to, you're drawing the event to you. So we spend a lot of time bonding with our future emotionally. I have colleagues of mine who look at our data on oxytocin and they're like, listen, oxytocin levels go up during, you know, when I'm in a relationship, the honeymoon stage of relationship, and monogamy is created because of those chemicals, or a female mammal is bonding with her offspring. That's exactly right. I want our people, our students, to bond and fall in love with their future just like they do with somebody else. And when you're bonded to your future,
Starting point is 00:20:06 no person, no circumstance, no thing is going to remove you from it. So then if you fall from grace during the day, then the next question is, what person, what circumstance caused me to disconnect from my love in the future? And let me rehearse in my mind, if I have that same circumstance, how I'm going to overcome it. And now you're worthy of love. It's no longer the person or the event. It's just you're doing what it takes to stay in the emotion of your future. Your body is aligned emotionally to that future. So great doing it with a meditation. That's easy. But now
Starting point is 00:20:43 the real game is open your eyes open your eyes happening it's happening open your eyes and be in the initiation of life and stay in that place and just know that your future is going to happen so so being able to activate the heart and breathe in there and get the body out of survival and start working with it like it feels safe enough to create once energy makes it here you're going to get some really good ideas. You're going to see things you never thought of seeing. You're going to feel things you never thought you'd feel. And the images that you're creating, what are they doing?
Starting point is 00:21:14 The thoughts that you're creating, they're making more of those chemicals. And now you're feeling more of the feeling of your future before it happens. You're giving your body a sampling, a taste of the future before it's happened. Keep doing that enough times and that feeling is going to become very familiar to you. In this section, Rhonda Byrne shares how we can use the law of attraction to overcome the challenges in your life. It was a privilege to sit down with Rhonda Byrne and learn more about our limiting beliefs and overcoming them. And I highly recommend you checking out our full interview as she hasn't done many over the last decade. And it was a mind blowing episode. Can you share what is the law of attraction?
Starting point is 00:22:00 And is it possible that anyone can truly achieve what they want if they use it effectively? And also part two of this question, what's the quickest way to hold you back from the law of attraction? So one of the ways that I talk about the law of attraction or the secret is sort of in a different way from the way I used to speak about it, because I'm always looking at how can I make it even simpler. And, I mean, basically that work talks about the power of the mind and the power of thought to create our physical world and material world.
Starting point is 00:22:35 And then The Greatest Secret takes that to a whole new level actually. And so then you really get to see that, oh, my gosh, it's super easy to create anything i want like really so easy because if we have a belief it's hard then it's going to be hard you know and so and so it has everything to do with our mind and what we believe and so if we believe a thought it will manifest end of story manifest So if we believe we are deserving of great love, then we will manifest. If we believe we are going to be poor, we're going to stay poor.
Starting point is 00:23:11 If we believe we don't deserve something, then it's not going to come to us. And, you know, it's interesting because for all of us, you know, and we've been conditioned, you know, I mean, you were very fortunate because you you had a childhood where you were mind was opened and you were opened and your heart was opened and that's the biggest biggest thing is to open yourself to the possibility that everything isn't the way it appears to be and so even if you can just open yourself to that possibility,
Starting point is 00:23:45 just for a moment, you can pick up it all the next day, you can take it all with you the next day, that it's all real and everything that you're seeing. But if you just for a moment open to the possibility that things might not be the way that you think they are, then you have the greatest opportunity to really discover something incredible, how incredible you are. So with the secret, yeah, I describe it really. And so I really simplify it and the law of attraction, because I would say to anybody, if you would just think about what you want, that's all you'd ever get in your life.
Starting point is 00:24:22 It's as simple as that. But a lot of people think a lot of negative things consistently. It's on a loop that just holds them into this negative pattern. So how do we break that negative thought pattern? Right. So, I mean, the mind is like a computer program. And the fact that it's on a negative loop is because we programmed it on a negative loop. But, you know, we could have been influenced when we were children and things fact that it's on a negative loop is because we programmed it on a negative loop. But, you know, we could have been influenced when we were children
Starting point is 00:24:47 and things like that. So one of the things that the mind loves is repetition. I mean, it loves it. You know, if you really watch your thoughts, this is the same old thoughts over and over again, you know, it's just kind of dishing up the same old thing. So it loves repetition. So the way you can override a program is to put in the opposite, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:08 and when you start out, you know, you feel like you're lying, you know, you'll say something like, you know, you might be really broke. Gee, I was when I was making The Secret. So you might not have any money and you're trying to instill, you know, wealth and prosperity and riches. And every time you say it, you feel a contraction in your body because you know, you don't have it. But you know, truly, because I did it myself after a while, you change it, you really begin to change it. And you don't quite have that contraction anymore. And then you start to see money coming in, you
Starting point is 00:25:39 know, in in different ways. And, and, and, and, or you can be given things that you were going to buy. And now you don't have to buy it or so you begin to see you start to see signs of land, you know, is one of the great one of the great new thought, thought, writers would say, talk about a sign of land. So you start to see sign of land. Now, that's what I did in The Secret. You can do gratitude. That will turn everything around. That will make you feel good. That will get you off the negative rant.
Starting point is 00:26:13 But those negative thoughts are coming from beliefs held in the subconscious mind. Right. Where do the beliefs stem from for most of us? They stem mostly from our childhood. Conditioning. Yeah. Our parents said something to us. We just swallowed it.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Hook, line, and sinker. We're like, right, that's a belief. And so we take it in. And then we have all these beliefs. And you can hear, you know, if you're talking to somebody, like if somebody says, oh, I believe da-da-da-da-da, because we say that all the time, or somebody says, I think da-da-da-da-da, behind those two statements are going to be a belief.
Starting point is 00:26:57 And so the really interesting thing, they're hard to spot because you believe they're true. They seem real, yeah. So you don't think they're a belief. You think they're real to spot because you believe they're true. They seem real, yeah. So you don't think they're a belief. You think they're real, you know, and so they can be hard to spot. But if you start to listen to yourself, you know, I believe or I think or especially look at the things that you have a really strong opinion about because where you have a really strong opinion is a belief
Starting point is 00:27:22 that's underneath that. Because where you have a really strong opinion is a belief that's underneath that. So one of the things that in the latest book is that I show how to dissolve those beliefs. And just really by some of the things that I've just mentioned. And you can dissolve them. And you just feel free. Every time a belief goes out, you feel completely free. You know, it's an amazing, amazing feeling. You just feel as light as a feather.
Starting point is 00:27:53 And actually you feel invincible. Yeah. Because can you imagine, like if we have, for example, the feeling of doubt, right? Doubt and uncertainty. Now, doubt and uncertainty play a big part in most people's lives, and that can be paralyzing those two things. So just imagine living a life, zero doubt, zero uncertainty. I mean, incredible.
Starting point is 00:28:18 How do we get to a place of not doubting ourselves? You can, because you need to know who you are. You need to know who you are. You need to know who you are so that you don't doubt yourself. Because the one that is doubting is the ego. The one that is doubting is the mind. It's not who we are. So then you've got to become very aware of your thoughts. That one that is doubting, the negative thoughts, they're all coming from the ego, right? All of them. Because who you are would never have a negative thought ever, ever. Who you are would never judge who you are.
Starting point is 00:28:51 It doesn't have who you are is allowing and accepting. And so all of those things are coming from the ego and they're not who you are. And that voice in your head that you hear, that voice that's, you know, so familiar to you and seems to know an awful lot about you and sounds like you that voice is not you that voice is just a program what was the voice that was in your head consistently pre-secret that you had to overcome that belief and then and then what's been the program?
Starting point is 00:29:25 Because I feel like every new evolution of us is going to be some type of thing to overcome. So has there been something you've had to overcome in the last 15 years post-secret to get to the next level? Definitely negative thoughts. Before the secret, you had a lot of negative thoughts. Oh, heaps. I was like everybody. I was just like, oh, I was was like everybody. I was like everybody. I was just like, oh, I was pointing out all the things that were wrong.
Starting point is 00:29:53 And somehow I was kind of brought up, and I think a lot of us are, that you're a good person if you point out the things that are wrong, you know. You have to speak up and say that's wrong. You know, that shouldn't be happening. And so I was kind of brought up with that too. And so that's brought up with judgment. And that does not help us at all. Judgment, we need to put it in the trash. Because that does not belong with us. And the one who is judging is the ego. That's, it's the ego. It's judging. The one that has negative thoughts is the ego that's it's the ego it's judging the one that has negative thoughts is the ego so so i had all of that going on you know i had doubt i had uncertainty i had feelings
Starting point is 00:30:32 of unworthiness i had heaps of stress oh my god heaps of stress i was like this is pre-secret pre-secret yeah living on the edge you know I was like this with life, like white knuckles, you know. What's going to happen next? You know, something bad's going to happen and being really afraid, you know, something's going to happen to somebody I love. So, I mean, I live my life like that and I think everybody does and they just kind of keep it all squashed down, you know. But most people live their life that
Starting point is 00:31:05 way. And I mean, you know, in the last year, if you've been terrified, you know, in the last year, and really fearful in the last year, you know, all of that fear has been given to you as this lovely gift, you know, when you were maybe a child, and it's like, here's a whole lot of things to be fearful about. And, and then we go through go through fear and I mean it's very easy to see that there's no pandemic that is fear a fear-based pandemic why do we know that because there are many people who are not afraid and so if the pandemic was you know in the world was actually a real fear manifestation, then every single person on the planet would be fearful. And while there are a lot of people fearful, there are still a lot who are not. So that just shows you that the fear was already here with us, you know, before the pandemic came along. Right. Yeah. What was the, what was the belief
Starting point is 00:32:06 that you still had to overcome post secret? Because you overcame a lot to be able to create something like that. There was this incredible, but then were there other negative beliefs that still held you back? Oh yeah. The biggest one, the biggest one was that I was abundant. That was the biggest one. That was your limiting belief? That was the one I had been brought up with. We can't afford it. We don't have enough, you know, and money would come into my hands. It would slip through my fingers. You know, things would break down. The universe would do all these things to get the money out of my hands. It would just like take it away. Yeah. Because I had this belief that I did not have an abundant amount of money and that I was always in struggle. And that came from my parents.
Starting point is 00:32:52 Bless them. You know, they're beautiful. But that came from them. You know, we can't afford it and all of those things. So I was brought up with that, as many of us are. So the one that I had the biggest thing to overcome, the belief, the biggest thing to overcome was the belief in lack of money. And I knew I needed to overcome that for the secret to sweep the world. To be able to attract and bring you. Yeah. Because if I didn't overcome that, how could it possibly?
Starting point is 00:33:24 Why would money come to you then? Exactly. So I had to overcome it. How did you overcome that? I mean, how do you overcome the fear of lack, of the not having enough, never, I'm not worthy of money. How do we finally transition into abundance? I did that by many, many things.
Starting point is 00:33:44 I tried many things, all kinds of, I was experimenting with it. So, I mean, I would just walk down the street and say, there's prosperity. I'm breathing in prosperity. I do all these affirmations, you know, I'm breathing in prosperity with every breath I take. I am, my substance is prosperity. I am abundant. I am worthy, you know. And so I would say all these affirmations, I would have them all pinned up around the apartment that I was staying in so that I would see them and read them every day.
Starting point is 00:34:15 So that was just one thing I did. Then what I would do, the biggest thing was because at the time I was in incredible debt. I was making the secret and I just didn't have the money to make it. And I started out $2 million in debt, mind you, because of a whole lot of shows that went really wrong. And so- Because you were producing TV shows at the time. Yeah, I was. And so, I mean, $2 million in debt makes it sound like I had a lot of money. was. And so, I mean, $2 million in debt makes it sound like I had a lot of money. I never had anything like that money. But these particular movies that we're making, they ran over budget.
Starting point is 00:34:52 And so I started with $2 million in debt. I remember I discovered the secret and I went to my accountant and I said, you have to do whatever it takes to keep my company afloat. I'm going to make something that's going to change the world. I'm going to make it, you keep my company afloat. I'm going to make something that's going to change the world. I'm going to make it. You keep my company going. And so, you know, and he just said, he just said, okay. And so I took out, oh my gosh, I maxed every credit card I had to the limit. I mortgaged my home to the absolute limit. I took overdrafts out on my company so I could make the documentary.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Wow. And so I had crushing debt coming in on me and I needed more money to keep making it. So it was a journey of absolute luck, you know, and the luck was just an expression of what I'd been brought up with. So I had to turn turn that around so one of the things I did like the um when I would go and get used to get then you would get your bills or accounts in the mail you know it wasn't all online and so I'd go to the mail you know and straight away my stomach my stomach would like and if anybody's been in that situation where you just don't have enough money and you've got all these bills, it's a horrible feeling, you know. And my whole body would contract and I would know
Starting point is 00:36:13 that is attracting a lack of money and that's not attracting abundance. So I used to do this thing whereby I would do gratitude and I would listen to music and I would do all of as many things as I could until I felt really, really good. And I would just say to myself, I am abundant and nothing would object. No thought would object. And I'm like, right, now's the time to open the mail, right? Well, I'm feeling really, really good. And so then I would open the bills and I would look at each one as though it was a check. I would imagine it's a check, not a bill. So you played a game in your mind and you're like, okay, here's a $100,000 check.
Starting point is 00:36:55 And I would go, wow, look at all the checks I've got today. And so I would do that, you know, and then I'd open them up and I'd be like, wow, $160 check and, you know, a $2,300 check. And then I felt like it wasn't, I would add them all up and that's how much I received today. And then I would think, you know what, I need to be receiving more money than that. So I would add zeros to the bills and I would pretend that they were instead of $160, a $16,000 check that was coming to me. And so I would add it all up and I received all this money.
Starting point is 00:37:34 So that was one of the other games that I played. And then I did something quite radical. It was an experiment and test and all of these things I did so that I could tell what worked and what would work for people. And so I thought, what's the way that I can feel really good about money? Because when you don't have enough, it's really hard to feel good about really hard. And so I thought, what's the one way that I can feel good about money? Okay. The way that I can feel good about money is if I give some away. And so what I did was. Well, what about if you have no money to give away?
Starting point is 00:38:15 I took it out on my credit card. Wow. I took out these $20 bills on my credit card. I think I could access $100 or something. So I took out all of these $20 bills and I thought, right, I'm going to walk down the street and I said to the universe, show me who to give it to. And so I would walk down the street and I was looking
Starting point is 00:38:39 at everybody's faces. And I don't know if you've ever done that in your life is just so silently walk down a street and look at people's faces like with a heart wide open and I was just melting looking at all these people's faces and and and then it was just amazing because the universe would just show me who to give it to like these kids walked out of a store and they're like counting their money I don't have enough to get that, you know, they're wanting to get something in the store.
Starting point is 00:39:08 And so just, you know, gave them $20 and they're like, thanks, lady, and ran back in the store to get, you know, the ice creams or whatever they wanted. And it was an ice cream store I think they were at the front of. And so, yeah, I just went down the street giving away this money and uh and in fact there were two I think there was two or one twenty dollar note that there it just like stopped it wasn't clear anymore who to give it to and so I just stopped do you know that that was on a Friday and on the Monday I received $25,000 in my account from a place that I never
Starting point is 00:39:49 ever ever could have expected wow yeah so powerful right it's crazy that's something was there any of the other tests or games that you tried to you know change your thoughts and play with your mind to start seeing yourself as abundant and in prosperity? Yeah, I did. I did lists of all of the things that I was going to, all the things I was going to buy, you know, when the money came in. So I did all of these lists and I imagined that I had those things already. And yeah, and I wanted, I remember it was like, I want a house on the ocean. I really went all out, you know, that was just some list. One of wanted, I remember it was like, I want a house on the ocean. I really went all out. You know, that was just some list.
Starting point is 00:40:27 One of the things I remember is that I'd always wanted a Range Rover all of my life. And that was just beyond anything I could afford. And especially in Australia, like they were crazy prices. So, but still I put it on the list and I put all these things on the list. But, you know, interestingly enough, like I did that because that was a way to turn money around. But when The Secret got released, I didn't care about any of it because and I didn't even care.
Starting point is 00:40:55 All that mattered was that I had got it out into the world and now it was in the world. It could never be taken away. And that is what mattered to me more than anything is that that was going to get into people's hands. And so, but still, I have to tell you, got all the things on the list. You know, there's amazing views out here of the ocean. I ended up by getting a Range Rover. And so, yeah, but I did, I did a lot of practices and i have shared those practices in a lot of the books and also we created an app which was the secret to money and so there are a lot of the
Starting point is 00:41:32 practices in that i put in that app and i was just dedicated wow because i knew this was a big thing for people and and that if i can it, anyone can do it. Yeah. And you've just, all you have to do is you keep doing it until you do not feel any more lack anymore, until there are no more thoughts coming up saying, oh, no, you're broke, you know, thoughts where you're even looking at the money going out with larger contraction, you know. Something else I did, I imagined that with those bills
Starting point is 00:42:09 that I would open, I imagined that I was giving those people money and helping their families and helping. So I would imagine that as well. That was something else I did, that when I paid a bill, I would really sit down and I would think about all of the people that worked in that company and all of their families, I would feel the feelings of all of that. Then I would think about all of this, all of the industries that service that company that I was paying the money to, and that all of the money that I'm paying affects all of those people and helps their family and
Starting point is 00:42:45 helps them get food. And so that was sort of another way that I felt really good about money. In this next section, Sadhguru shares how we can deal with our negative emotions when they rise up. Emotional intelligence is crucial to focus on the right things in your life. And negative emotions are a normal part of our lives lives but it's up to you what to do with them and how it will make a difference for you when we have emotions thoughts or feelings emotions of anger resentment
Starting point is 00:43:21 from something that happened in the past, upset that we see on social media, frustrations in the world. Where should we be redirecting these thoughts, feelings and emotions? You must punch a window pane or a wall better. A stone wall is good. You'll feel it more, yeah, exactly. Because that is the model that the Hollywood and the television shows, everything is setting up. When you get angry, you break something, all right? Exactly. So, see, first of all, people are assuming that anger is happening to them or misery is happening to them.
Starting point is 00:44:03 No, this is exactly what I said earlier, maybe I didn't articulate it fully. No, you are creating anger, you are creating misery, you are creating joy, you are creating whatever. All this is happening from within you. Is it true all human experience is happening from within us? It's… it's… yeah, because we perceive something and then we… No, no. Something else... something else may stimulate. But human experience is happening from within us, isn't it? Right. Whether it's love or hate or anger or misery or joy or anything is only happening from within us. The simple question I'm asking is, what happens from within you?
Starting point is 00:44:42 Should you ha... should it happen your way or somebody else's way? It should happen your way. Of course, because the world will never happen your way a hundred percent. Because there are so many stakeholders in the world, little bit will happen my way, little bit your way, that is fine. But what happens within me must happen my way. If what happens within me does not happen my way, this is the worst form of slavery, isn't it? Wow.
Starting point is 00:45:11 Somebody decides what happens within me. Somebody decides where I should sit. This is slavery, everybody understands this. Now somebody decides whether I am happy or unhappy. Isn't this the worst form of slavery? Yeah. whether I am happy or unhappy, isn't this the worst form of slavery? Yeah. So this is the liberation that humanity needs to work at. This is what inner engineering means. Inner engineering is not some mechanical process, because engineering means this essentially.
Starting point is 00:45:38 You will say something is well engineered only if it works the way you want, isn't it? If this one doesn't work the way you want, what the hell are you expecting other things to work the way you want? It's just an accident. When you live accidentally, anxiety is normal. Yes, it's every day. But when you're living on purpose and intentionally and mindfully, you should be able to shift out of that. No, no, no, no. I wouldn't use those words. Okay. What words would you use? When you say purpose, intention, mindful.
Starting point is 00:46:14 See, this is the whole problem with people, their mind is full all the time. Right. My mind is just empty all the time, nothing happening, nothing. That's why I wear a turban just to make it substantial. There's nothing in my head. If I'm walking there, I'm just walking, nothing happens. Because, see right now, your hands are there. Suppose your one hand starts jumping like this. Let's say my hand starts jumping like this. What will you think? You think Sadhguru has some kind of ailment, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:46:52 I just... That's the way intelligent people do things, you know? No, no. Suppose my hand starts jumping like that, you will think there is some ailment, isn't it? You will think I am... Maybe Mr. Parkinson's is visiting me or something like that. Sure. So, your mind is jumping all over the place. Why is that not ailment, I'm asking?
Starting point is 00:47:17 Your only comfort is other people cannot see it, isn't it? Yeah, I guess they see it through the manifestation of you being anxious or tense or stressed or angry. Whether they see it or not, they see it or not. If any part of you is simply jumping without purpose, is that an ailment? I'm asking. If any part of you is jumping without purpose, is it an ailment? Well, I think in your inner engineering course you talk about how we have certain faculties that we can't control like going to the bathroom and doing certain things that are part of our body so yeah but i don't know if that's a trick question no no the p the p is just filling up in the bladder it's not jumping all over the place gotcha gotcha if it jumps all
Starting point is 00:48:03 the place that is an ailment. That's an ailment, yes, correct. Right now, suppose… let me take a worse example. Suppose your hand starts beating you in the face. That's an ailment, yes. For sure. So right now, your thoughts and emotions are beating you up from inside. Why is that not an ailment, I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:48:23 No, it is. So, let us not think anger happens to us, resentment happens to us. No. These things we are creating, we have the power to emote. We can make it love, we can make it joy, we can make it ecstasy, but people have chosen to make it tension, anger, resentment, hatred, they have turned it that way. Now they will claim this is because life has been unfair to me. Life has not been fair to anybody, especially not me. Life is not fair to anybody. Life is simply rolling, it's for you to learn to ride it.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Sometimes we are in uncomfortable situations, sometimes we are in comfortable situations. Sometimes we are in situations where we know exactly what to do and sometimes we are in situations where we don't know what to do. Sometimes somebody else is controlling the situation, sometimes you are controlling the situation. This is how life is. If you are constantly stepping into unfamiliar situations in your life, that means you are growing at a rapid pace. If you are in constantly in comfortable situations, that means you are a stagnant life. So if you… if you look for comfort, if you look for a comfort
Starting point is 00:49:41 zone, because the moment your thoughts and emotions are going to torment you with external stimulant, external stimulation that happens, what will you choose? You will choose a comfort zone. This means you will limit your life. So the moment somebody can cause you pain or suffering, this means unknowingly you will make the very scope of your life very limited. This means unknowingly you will make the very scope of your life very limited. Only when a person loses this fear of suffering, that no matter what happens, this is how I will be. If this assurance comes to you, then you walk full stride
Starting point is 00:50:15 because whatever happens in the life around you, it will not really make you suffer. Once you are free from suffering, only when you're free from suffering, when you're free from the fear of suffering, that is when you will explore your life in full depth and dimension. How do we rid ourselves of the fear of suffering then? See, as I told you, the suffering is happening because your faculties are not held in your hands. If I have to go to this in little detail, I will have to take a few minutes. See, for example, if I ask you a simple question, do you want your intellect to be sharp or blunt? What is your choice?
Starting point is 00:51:00 Sharp. Sharp, of course. So you understand, your intellect is... the better... the sharper it is, the better it is, it's like a knife. So if it's like a knife, it's a cutting instrument. So if you give anything to your intellect, it will dissect everything and see. This is the nature of our intellect. You don't have to physically dissect, but it dissects everything and sees what is this, what is that. This is the nature of the intellect. Without dissection, it doesn't know because it is a knife, it's like a scalpel. It must be sharp.
Starting point is 00:51:32 A knife that is not sharp is no good knife, isn't it? Right. It's good for… good for butter. Yeah, that also depends. If it just comes out of the refrigerator, even that it won't cut. So, if you are using a knife to do everything, to do everything, let's say you eat with a knife, you brush with your knife and you do everything with your knife, of course you will be bleeding. That's all that's happening.
Starting point is 00:52:05 Only one dimension of intelligence within us. In yogic way of looking at things, we look at mind as sixteen parts. This intellect is just one part. Because our education systems are such, which are totally intellect-oriented, human beings largely are using only one dimension of their intellect to do everything. You use a knife to stitch your clothes, what will you wear? Only tatters. See, that's what you're seeing in Los Angeles right now. Half the people are wearing tattered clothes.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Maybe they used a knife to stitch their jeans. Hmm, exactly. With holes in them, yes. So if you use a knife to stitch, that's what will happen, all tatters. Right now, human life is in tatters, mainly because of this. Instead of using a needle, you're using a knife. So intellect is a very good instrument of survival. If you want to survive on this planet, you need a sharp intellect. The sharper it is, the better you will survive.
Starting point is 00:53:07 But that will not make life, that will not put everything together. Right now, because through intellectual process, people are trying to handle everything. With so much care, they're trying to do everything right, right, right, right, and a blunder. The result is a blunder. Everything right, but the end result is a big blunder, because you're using a knife to do everything. Okay, here's a question for you. When was the last time that you felt anger or resentment and actually expressed it?
Starting point is 00:53:43 I was just thinking of getting angry with you just now. Perfect! Bring it! I love that. See, the thing is, Luis, I... I did not give this privilege to anybody, that somebody can make me happy, somebody can make me unhappy, somebody can make me angry, somebody can make me miserable. I have not given that privilege to anybody. It's not that I'm incapable of all these things. If I want, I can be all those things.
Starting point is 00:54:17 But I have not given this privilege to anybody. They can't do something to me and make me angry. No, I have not given that privilege to anybody. They can't do something to me and make me angry. No. I have not given that privilege to anyone. Did you have... did you have that experience or give that privilege to someone when you were younger? Did you learn that at a certain point where you transitioned? Till... till I was twenty-three, twenty-four years of age, from the age of probably eleven, twelve, I was always twenty-four hours angry.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Really? probably eleven twelve I was always 24 hours angry really yes because I was I was on this binge of what is justice and injustice huh so once you start looking what is justice and injustice just about everything in the world looks unjust everything makes you angry small thing yeah yeah everything anything unjust means it makes me angry. And everywhere I see, whether at home, in school, on the street, in the society, in the country, in the world, wherever I see, I think, this is unjust, this is unjust, this is unjust. So much injustice, always angry.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Right. I mean, I feel like there's a lot of people in America and in the world who a lot of things make them angry and there's a lot of injustice for people. So when did you shift and how did you come to that realization that this no longer works for you in your life? See, it doesn't work for anybody. That's true. Not just for me. But for you personally, when did you realize? See, the reason why people think anger is some kind of a virtue, because they say righteous
Starting point is 00:55:53 anger, all right? Right now, America is seething with anger and they think it's righteous anger. This is simply because it takes some horrible thing to stimulate them into action. There is not enough love in your heart to stimulate yourself into action. Something has to poke you, you must get angry and then it propels you into action. So that kind of action sometimes will produce results, of course. But if you want genuine results which will be good for everybody, we must do it when everything is right. But when everything is little comfortable, nobody does anything. When something horrible happens, then we will get angry and propel
Starting point is 00:56:37 ourselves into action. Right now, this propelling yourself into action with anger, how long will you keep it up? You cannot keep it up forever. You get tired. Yes. If you keep it up forever, you will destroy yourself and you will destroy everything around yourself. So, anger is become valuable because most people are so lethargic in their responses. Once in a way when they get angry, they feel empowered and seem to be doing right things once in a way. You must be doing those right things all your life, then by the end of your life everything
Starting point is 00:57:18 might not have changed, but you would have made a difference. That's the way the world works. So if people are lethargic and comfortable a lot of the times and they're unwilling to choose love and act with love to make a change, how do we get people to wake up when things are calmer so that they can act with love and get the change and the results they want? See, today, this whole movement, what you're seeing as Inner Engineering, is a movement from religion to responsibility, in a way.
Starting point is 00:58:02 Essentially, what I mean is, religion means people are thinking responsibility is somewhere up there. Where is that up, nobody knows, all right? You just have to believe where is that up. But now you are sitting in California, I'm here in Tamil Nadu. If I look up, I'm looking at... looking up in one direction. If you look up, you are looking up in another direction. So my up is different, your up is different, and by tomorrow morning again, my up will be yours, your up will be mine. It'll be a big confusion. The damn planet is spinning and it's round.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Which way is up? Does anybody know which way is up in this universe? Is it marked somewhere in the cosmos, this side up? There is no such thing. So, responsibility is up there. No, no, no, it must come here. We must understand, if we want to live in a wonderful world, it's only us and us and us who can make this happen. No other force from anywhere is going to make this happen. Unless we realize and transform ourselves from religion to responsibility that it's here, what this whole thing has come up is…
Starting point is 00:59:16 See, because we have no explanation for creation, before you and me came, so much creation has happened. Who did it? A simplistic, childish understanding of this is, a big man must have done it. So he is somewhere up there. Because you can't see him here, he must be up there. Now of course, women are claiming, why not it be a woman? In India, we sorted these problems out.
Starting point is 00:59:39 There are… we have man gods, we have woman gods, we have snake god, we have cow god, we have elephant god, we have every kind – crawling ones, creeping ones, flying ones – because we foresaw all the future problems that may happen. You don't know who will claim what tomorrow. So we said everything is God. So what I'm saying is, our idea of God has essentially come because we have no explanation for creation. How did all this happen? Such a complex, fantastic stuff. Who did it?
Starting point is 01:00:12 Because we are human, we think it must be a big human being. Suppose you and me were buffaloes having conversation right now, we would definitely think God is a huge buffalo, isn't it? Nobody could argue with us about that. We would definitely say he's a huge buffalo because that would be our imagination. Right now, this is our imagination. It's fine. If you are using it to settle a few things, if you are using it as a way of a psychological process, fine. But solace is one thing, solutions for life is a different thing. So one first thing that we must decide is, those who are in extreme states of poverty, war, other kinds of misery imposed upon them, only for them you must give solace.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Rest of us who have eaten our breakfast today morning or dinner, we should talk about solution, not solace. Solace is just a psychological process to settle something within you. But why people who have eaten well, people who are healthy, people who have a life to live, why are they psychological problem? They should not have any psychological problem, that's all I'm saying. I know this will be very cruel for a lot of people, but they better get it because life is brief. If they don't get it now and they think being psychologically disturbed is normal, they will spend their life like this, it is not normal.
Starting point is 01:01:37 To be healthy is normal, to be balanced is normal, to be joyful is normal. Look at yourself when you're five years of age, were you miserable or joyful? And somebody had to make you… take the joy out of you by poking you with something, otherwise joy wouldn't go, you would be bouncing all over the place, isn't it? Today, somebody has to make you happy, somebody has to work hard to make you happy. At that time, somebody had to work hard to make you miserable. Today, somebody has to make you… work hard to make you miserable. Today, somebody has to work hard to make you happy. The whole equation has gotten reversed.
Starting point is 01:02:09 What is it? What is it that happened to you? You just grew up. If you grew up, life should become better when you grow up, isn't it? In this next section, my friend John Assaraf shares the key to manifesting and achieving success in your life. Listening to John always gets me fired up to go after my goals. And I want you to reflect on how you're showing up in your own life and business and what small changes you can implement today to improve your life. You cannot achieve results without some kind of discipline.
Starting point is 01:02:46 And so we know that there's some fundamental truths to achieving success. And every successful person will tell you, you know, and Jim Rohn is, I know you, you love Jim Rohn. So you either pay the price of discipline or you pay the price of regret. Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. But the thing is, can you teach discipline? The answer is yes. How? You have to have a willing
Starting point is 01:03:06 participant. And if the participants reason why is big enough, if they know I want to achieve X and the reason why the motive for their action, motivation, the motive for their action is a reason beyond just themselves, chances are they will do more to achieve that success than if it was just left up to their own. But there are some people that are born, you know, with incredible drive. They just have this insatiable drive and they'll just, I'll do whatever it takes for the things that I want. And there's other people that want things, but they just don't have this insatiable drive. And this is where, you know, I, as much as I hated school, I love to use schools and analogy
Starting point is 01:03:50 in the game of life, whether it's health, wealth, relationships, career, business, spirituality, fun experiences, you have to decide what level of the game do I want to play at? Is it the great school level, the kindergarten level, the high school level, the university level, the pro level, because each one of those levels requires a totally different mindset and totally different skillset. They're building blocks on each other. But if you are extremely talented, but you're not prepared to practice and rehearse and drill and fall and fail forward to the next attempt, you will never make it as a pro. You will never make as a pro business person. You will never make it as a pro. You will never make it as a pro business person. You'll never make it as a pro husband or wife or athlete or musician. You just
Starting point is 01:04:30 never will. So just get used to that. If you're not prepared to pay the price, if you are prepared to pay the price and you have the aptitude and the talent, now we're talking about there's some real potential here. And what we don't know is, you know, what's in your heart. Like what is the fire that stirs you that, that you wake up saying, I will do this even when I don't feel like it, I will do whatever it takes to overcome my temptation for mediocrity, my temptation for excuses, my temptation for, um, reasons and circumstances to hold me back. I won't allow those to be in my way. And if you have that within you, you'll achieve whatever you choose.
Starting point is 01:05:12 And so the question you asked before is how do you develop that? Start small. Start small. So if you don't have discipline, show yourself that you can give yourself one command and one follow through. So you know what? Right now I'm going to get up. I'm going to do two pushups. Right now. Not like later.
Starting point is 01:05:33 Now. Can you give yourself a simple command? One sit up. Right now I'm going to go get a glass of water. You start with something ridiculous. I learned many years ago, reduce it to the ridiculous. So for reduce it to the ridiculous. So for reduce it to the ridiculous, and I start, I said, can you do that? Great. Will you? Because that's the difference
Starting point is 01:05:50 right there is that's the razor's edge. The people who can, will you? Will you? Yeah. Great. When? Now. Now. Yeah. Right. So if you develop that skill and specifically from a brain plasticity, a neuroplasticity perspective, as soon as you do that, you give yourself a command and you take the action, you have just created a neural pattern that you can give yourself a command and take action.
Starting point is 01:06:12 Now, that may just be one time. Well, what if you did that every hour by putting a little bell on your computer? And every hour, like if my computer was open, I'd have every hour, it would say, it's 12 o'clock,
Starting point is 01:06:25 it's 1 o'clock. And I take 60 seconds just to be in control of my mind. I don't care where I am. Stop what you're doing. Stop, take six breaths. Breathe. Just get centered. Am I on track? Am I off track?
Starting point is 01:06:38 Am I doing something I shouldn't be doing versus a high impact activity that I need to be doing? Every hour I've trained myself to just reset. I didn't always do that. So I just started with one a day, then two, then three, then it was working so well, I said, great, let's do this every hour. But more importantly, is as soon as you become the person who believes in themselves, You see, everything you do or don't do leaves an imprint on your self-worth and self-esteem scale. And you know it. Absolutely. You know it.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Every time you have that cake or that cookie, you either believe in yourself or you don't believe in yourself. Right. Every time you're voting with every decision, you're disqualifying with every negative belief you're qualifying with every positive same with behaviors so you start to get getting aware of am i qualifying myself to move forward or am i disqualifying myself do what i say i want and what i do or don't do over and over and over again, because thought patterns become emotional patterns, which become behavioral patterns. And our brains pick up on our thought, emotional and behavioral patterns and says, Hey, you
Starting point is 01:07:54 know what? You've done that one enough. I'm just going to make that automatic for you. So all of a sudden, you know, if you're a person has lots of positive thoughts, but you suck at taking action, your brain says, let me make that a permanent pattern for you so you don't have to think about it anymore. But I'm also going to create some neural tension and I'm going to make you pissed off at yourself now. Now you're going to start talking to yourself about how you don't want to not take action,
Starting point is 01:08:16 but you're still taking action. And this is where we have this conscious, non-conscious ping pong match going on all the time. Yeah. It's actually complex, but it's actually pretty easy to. So if someone's listening right now and they're thinking, you know, there's a lot of things I want. You know, I want to get out of this relationship or I want the relationship.
Starting point is 01:08:35 I want to have a better health. I want to have more money, whatever it may be. And they've been saying that for years and they feel like they've been consuming all the information they need to have, but they haven't been able to take action. Maybe because their why isn't powerful enough, what would you say should be their first step? Well, the first step is to take one thing. I'm going to go back to one thing and say, great, let me move one thing forward.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Why? Because that just changes the trajectory of the same pattern repeating itself. And as soon as you interrupt a pattern and then you repeatedly interrupt the pattern, it's like taking a detour. And as soon as you take a detour one day, you're like, okay, that was okay. But your tendency is to want to go back
Starting point is 01:09:18 to what's comfortable. But if you take the detour two days, six days, seven days, we know from a neuroscience perspective, it takes about 66 days to create a solid enough neural pattern that it'll go from conscious effort and thinking about it to a non-conscious pattern that has the beginnings of automaticity happening without your involvement. You're just doing.
Starting point is 01:09:41 And so for me, what I do and for myself is I, whenever I want to change something, whether it's a habit, whether it's a thought or emotion or behavior, I say, I'm going to work on this for 100 days, not 30 days, not 21 days, not 66, which is right around there. I say 100 days. And then I focus all of my energy just on that one thing for 100 days why can you give an example of something you've done sugar sugar sugar I'm a sugar me too I'm a sugar like if he was an alcoholic I'm a sugar a whole right it's so bad yeah so I I go like you know a week two weeks no sugar then a month I eat dessert every night 90 days me 90 days. Me too. You know, like a cake and cookie and five of them a day. And then. I can be very disciplined, but it's either way. Yeah. I'm extreme.
Starting point is 01:10:31 I'm an extremist as well. So it's all or nothing. Higher off. It's like no, no in between. You have one, you have a dead. Yeah. I don't, I don't have one cookie. If there's only one cookie, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:10:42 Can I have like six or seven more? My cookie bills at hotels are $21, not three. So you take one thing, just one thing that you know may be a little challenging. 100 days. 100 days, just 100 days. So let's say you want to drink more water. 100 days, a glass a day conscious effort to one a day whatever you did before you'll still do but one glass a day so you know i started that
Starting point is 01:11:12 with my assistant so i want to drink you know like four of these a day you know like you know 32 ounces whatever the case is and so every we got a mug and it's on my desk every time i walk in and then i have some support from her saying, Hey, remember to drink your water. So just do it. So the first, you know, two, three weeks, I feel like I'm going to drown myself in so much water. Um, but then it's like, okay, now I'm used to it. Now I'm drinking as much water as possible because the habit is there. And one of the rules that I love to follow is the habit is more important than the intensity at first. So don't worry about the intensity. Develop the habit.
Starting point is 01:11:51 So can you take one minute a day to focus on how you will achieve a goal? Just one minute a day. Can you take one minute a day to focus on your health? Yeah, can you take one day to retrain your brain? Yeah, can I take one day, or one action a day? And you start off with something and reduce it down to just a minute
Starting point is 01:12:10 or two minutes or one behavior. If you can get that behavior to be a habit, it's easy to stack. Right, of course. It's just like the foundation of a building. Once you have the foundation, if you build it right, you stack. And so every good discipline affects another and every bad discipline affects others. Usually when
Starting point is 01:12:32 people say they're having a bad day, sure, certain things may have gone wrong or something that they tried to do didn't work out. All information and experiences are processed at the non-conscious brain first, and then it gives rise to something we call a feeling. So emotions are processed non-consciously. The electrical and chemical reaction to that is called a feeling. So when I'm not feeling the way that I want to feel, I don focus on the feeling i focus on the cause the neuroelectrical charge that's occurred in my brain and in most cases it's something that you're doing to interpret an event that's causing the neuroelectrical signal causing the feeling so in meditation for example why do you meditate?
Starting point is 01:13:26 Well, obviously it's great for a whole host of, of health reasons, whether it's, um, it's, uh, less stress, less, you know, lower blood pressure, uh, less cortisol release, et cetera. But the one thing meditation does more than anything else is it gives you the ability to have a pause of awareness so that you sense what's happening at the non-conscious level and what's happening outside of you. So when somebody behaves a certain way, it's processed at the non-conscious level, gives rise to your conscious mind for you to respond. It gives rise to your conscious mind for you to respond. And so when something happens, I like to be able to check in so that I don't react and I have the ability to respond. And if you do that enough through mindfulness, being aware, just being aware of exactly what's going on, then you have fewer and fewer of those times. So, you know, something happened last week. I was in a hotel room and I spilled some water on a shirt that I needed for a wedding that we were going to. And my wife was like, oh, fuck. She was going off deep and I
Starting point is 01:14:38 was just calm. And she goes, aren't you worried about this? I said, will it help? Right. Like, no, let's just figure out what to do. The accident already happened. Why are we so wired to react in situations as opposed to be calm and say, well, this reaction is not going to serve a solution? Well, we have a misunderstanding of flow of information and the way information is processed. And so the reaction happens, again, at the reptilian, non-conscious level. So every external stimuli, if you get into some of the brain, which, again, is my passion, is one of my friends, Dr. Evian Gordon, kind of the great model. He says, you know, the number one thing to understand about the brain is safety and comfort first.
Starting point is 01:15:25 Right? So in the environment that you're in, whether you thing to understand about the brain is safety and comfort first. Right. So in the environment that you're in, whether you like it or you don't is irrelevant. Your brain finds that comfortable because it's the homeostasis. But safety first. So any loud noise, any type of real or imagined present or future pain based on the interpretation at the non-conscious level gives rise to automatic feelings. So the signal is sent from the reptilian or lizard brain to the emotional brain. And it's only later logically understood if we take the time to be aware of it. That's why people react so much in traffic instantly. That's right.
Starting point is 01:16:06 Instant reactions. Yeah, but here's something you could do quickly. It's called a reframe. So let's say you're driving in traffic and let's say somebody cuts you off and you've been sitting at the same spot for 20 minutes like I did this morning. And somebody, you're maybe looking down at your cell phone
Starting point is 01:16:21 because you have some time because you're parked on that, right? And somebody cuts you off. so you could automatically react goes son of a bitch i can't believe he just did that and just use all of this energy the cortisol epinephrine adrenaline that's flowing through your body and causing stress in your body or you can say well what if that person just found out their dog died they're really trying to get home quickly. You go, okay, I guess it's okay if she or he cut in front of me. Right. Or they just got a call from their mother. Their mother fell. Yeah. Would you change the way you felt about it? And the answer is yeah, probably. And the reason
Starting point is 01:16:55 because you change the frame. So you can learn how to create frames for yourself, how you see the world, how you see failure, how you see effort, how you see your habits, how you create frames in advance that actually serve you through awareness and response versus reactivity. And that is what a lot of people who, for example, I'm going to go back to professional athlete. What do you learn how to do? Respond in a variety of different ways in advance or through practice yeah so that when it's game time you're just unconsciously doing what you
Starting point is 01:17:31 yeah especially like um you know i used to react a lot whenever i felt like anyone was attacking me physically or verbally on the on the game in the game i used to react and i want to beat people up and hit people and respond if i got hit in a way, I would always want to have the last say, right? The last hit. And my coaches would always train me because I would always get flagged. The person who's the second person is the one who gets flagged, not the first person who does the foul. And so I started to train myself and visualize, okay, this is going to happen in this game. Like someone's going to punch me in the nuts.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Someone's going to bite me. Someone's going to bite me. Someone's going to do this. And I can either be calm and focus on the next play or I can respond and have a penalty for our team. Right. And I started to train my mind, seeing it in the future as it's already happening. And that really supported me in not reacting.
Starting point is 01:18:19 And that's actually one of the best ways. It's a cognitive behavior therapy process where you practice in advance anything good or anything challenging. And what's really amazing, some of the latest research on goal achieving is the ability, you know, in the past I used to teach and also do visualize my goals, whether it was my body, health, relationships, money, charity, whatever. I used to visualize the outcome. And some of the latest research now shows, in addition to visualizing the outcome, visualize the obstacles. And in the past, when we talked about this law of attraction, no, don't visualize the obstacles,
Starting point is 01:18:55 you attract them to, no, no, no, your brain's way smarter than that. So if you have, whether it's a belief that's in your way, a story that's holding you back, a circumstance, references, you know, something that's holding you back from achieving X. So take a look at whatever it is that you already know is holding you back. I don't believe I'm worthy. I don't believe I'm smart enough. Don't believe I'm good enough. Don't believe I'm skilled enough. I'm too young, too old. I'm too this or too that, or not enough of this, not enough of that. So address that and say, okay, here's an obstacle. I'm going to visualize that obstacle being real. I'm going to visualize just moving it aside and me moving towards my goal.
Starting point is 01:19:33 The very act of acknowledging that releases the neural tension around. If you do that over and over and over again, what your brain starts to see is, yes, there was a struggle. And so it's worthy of me creating this neural pattern around this new effort. Most of what we're doing is, you know, we're being on, we're on autopilot. We're just eking through the day, you know, on autopilot. And so the brain loves anything that makes it curious. The brain likes anything novel.
Starting point is 01:20:01 The brain likes a challenge. So earlier you were asking me about, you know, one of the brain training companies other than ours, I said, does it work? I said, yeah, it's a workout for your brain. And if you can strengthen the neural patterns of you seeing yourself with an obstacle and overcoming it, what do you think that does to your self-confidence and certainty? Builds it up. So if you, if you actually do the work and develop those patterns in your brain, as you're doing the stuff you need to do in the physical world, you just strengthen those neural patterns. And that's what becomes your habits. And that's where it becomes really fun because you can develop the habits and the skills that you need that you'll actually take action on versus having knowledge and skills in your head. Now, I feel like you've been testing things for decades now with all the research and the work
Starting point is 01:20:49 you've done. So what does your morning routine look like now? So today was a little bit different except for one thing, because I drove from San Diego to LA to be with you. But I wake up, I pee, I do my meditation 20 to 30 minutes every morning. I don't care where I am in the world. What do you focus on during that time? I do a variety of different meditations. So there's meditations that I can do where I'm just observing my thoughts. Now, a lot of people think, well, I'm not supposed to have thoughts when you meditate. Says whom?
Starting point is 01:21:19 There's hundreds of different ways to practice awareness. See, meditation is the art of awareness, awareness internally, awareness externally, but also the various millions of layers that exist in the physical and the non-physical world. So this morning I did a meditation with some ocean sounds. And so it was about five o'clock. I woke up this morning, sat in my little sofa, you know, with my feet propped up and did a 20 so minute meditation in the dark with the ocean, just listening to the ocean, just paying attention and going into a trance like state where after two or three minutes, like I disappeared, like my body was part of air and space. So today was, I was using sound
Starting point is 01:22:07 to get into that trance-like state. Other days I'll do a mantra, whether it's, you know, a lot of people know transcendental meditation. So it's the OM mantra. So you just take a deep breath in. Then as you exhale, it's OM. And the question is, why would you do that? And the question is, why would you do that? And the answer is anytime you can give your brain a rhythm, it will entrain to that rhythm. That's one. Anytime you could pay attention to your breath, inhale and exhale, you turn off the parasympathetic nervous system. You turn on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is your rest and relaxation and your
Starting point is 01:22:44 calm state of flow versus your sympathetic nervous system, which is the stress response system of adrenaline, norepinephrine, cortisol, etc. So when you get the serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine going and you're in that state of calmness, you're able to enter deeper levels of consciousness and awareness. So you're able to observe a thought. You're able to hear deeper levels of consciousness and awareness. So you're able to observe a thought, you're able to hear your heartbeat, you're able to sense different things that are giving, are being risen in your body through thoughts that you're having. So you can actually start to see when I have this thought, here's the sensation in my body. And you start to get so attuned to what's happening, what stimuli is happening within you that's producing these sensations that cause you to either take action or not retreat or move forward. You can start to get a feel for how the mechanics work.
Starting point is 01:23:36 So, so I'll do that. Sometimes I'll put on some of the Tibetan monks and chant with them. So I use sound, no sound. I use breathing. I use open eye, closed eye, five So I use sound, no sound. I use breathing. I use open eye, closed eye, five minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes. So I practice the art of being in control of my breath, not breathing, just being one with the entire universe and feeling this other than normal state of consciousness that we're used to.
Starting point is 01:24:02 And it's not sleep and it's not conscious awareness. You're in an altered state of consciousness that we're used to. And it's not sleep and it's not, you know, conscious awareness. You're in an altered state of awareness and you can, you can enter deeper and deeper and deeper layers of energy, which everything is made up anyway. Everything's connected. We have this, obviously our physical body, but the space between you and I right now, there's just vibrating packets of energy, right? And so you're able to access different layers of all of the intelligence and information that already exists in the universe versus the memories that we have in our brains. In this section, Gabby Bernstein shares how to stop judging yourself. And I want you to make a commitment to yourself today to stop living in
Starting point is 01:24:45 fear and open yourself up to the opportunities that are waiting for you. We all grow up in this world where there's just so each moment is an opportunity to detour into fear. And then we create a world of fear-based perceptions. And so what we must do to live and thrive and feel good is undo those fear-based perceptions. And I believe through a spiritual path or through maybe a therapeutic path. I mean, I think spirit's in all of it, whether you realize it or not.
Starting point is 01:25:15 But to make a commitment to feel better, it means that you're committed to returning to God. Or love or spirit, whatever you call it. Yes. You also talk about how, um, we have guides and it's funny because my girlfriend who's amazing and, uh, she'll always tell me, she's like, you know, your angels are always watching you. She's the spiritual being, right? She's like, I have an angel. There's angels that are always supporting me whenever I'm in trouble. I'm like focused on my angels. I'm like, where are these angels?
Starting point is 01:25:48 Like, how do we know they're here? What were these guides? Like, how can we tap into this belief that there are, whether it's our ancestors, spiritual beings, whatever it may be, are here with us, are guiding us, are protecting us, are leading us into a path of love. So what I write about in my book is what I believe. And I always have a big disclaimer that says, this is an opportunity to crack you open to believing something new. And if it's not for you, you choose how you choose to perceive this. So not only do I talk about spirit guides and angels and deceased family members,
Starting point is 01:26:20 but also talk about your higher self. So this is to woo for you start to tap into what is the voice of my higher self, right? That voice of my inner guidance system. And that wisdom that I believe in is my, is my true nature. Right. But I, I personally, Gabby Bernstein, I believe that I, that we all have guides, ancestors, family members, teachers, beings of light beings, ancestors, family members, teachers, beings of light beings, energy beings that are supporting us in a form that is able to step in, able to channel through us when we write books, able to be there in those darkest moments, pick us up off the floor and hold us in discomfort and guide us to business opportunities or babies or whatever it is that we're looking for. And it's always available to us, that guidance, but we just, we cut it off. We block it.
Starting point is 01:27:10 Why do we block the guidance? Fear is the reason we block it. Fear. Fear of what? It's not even fear. It's that false based perception that we've built up around ourselves from those traumatic events, right? So we have these traumatic events early in life and they continue to build and build and build. We build up a world of false perceptions. I am this body. I am Gabby Bernstein. I am Lewis Howe. I've got the school of greatness. I'm a New York Times bestseller. People are out to get me. No, I can't trust people. We create these beliefs. Right. And you believe you're separate from others. You believe you're better than or less than or not good enough. And all those stories,
Starting point is 01:27:41 all those false pretenses are what many spiritual practices call the ego, right? And that fear-based perception of yourself is misaligned with God, with love, with spirit, with angels, with guides. And so this book is all about how to get back into alignment so that you can hear that guidance and receive that guidance and be a channel for inspiration. And when you clear and undo those patterns of fear and start to claim the pattern of love, that's when you are hooked up, super attractor. Unstoppable. Unstoppable. Invisible doors open for you. It doesn't matter how low you are when you're starting this, you will go way further than you could possibly have imagined. And I am standing behind that subtitle methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams, standing behind it. I love that. What's the difference between,
Starting point is 01:28:36 uh, spiritual guides or guys and intuition. You could call it the same thing. Your guides, your guides are your bridge from your fear based thoughts back to your love, right? So if you pray and say, God, guide, higher self, angels, whatever, I give this to you, figure it out, right? I don't, I don't know. I'm going to get through this time, but yeah, I give it to you. That's how we surrender. People are like, I don't know how to surrender. I don't want to let it go. I don't know how to. Through prayer. Okay. Prayer is the conduit. And then when we say that prayer or that intention, whatever you want to call it, and we allow ourselves to give it over to a higher power of our own understanding, a guide, God, spirit, grandma, whoever,
Starting point is 01:29:20 then we're taking that difficult experience. We're handing it over and then we relax. Yeah. Because we think, okay, it over, and then we relax. Yeah. Because we think, okay, it's not on my shoulders anymore. It's like taking our ego out of ourself and putting it over here and saying, someone else is going to handle it. Yeah, giving it over, help me undo this. And then their job is to pay attention, what's going to show up for us. And so pay close attention.
Starting point is 01:29:37 How do we pay attention? Just be aware, stay calm, and stay chill, right? And be conscious of how things start to speed up or the synchronicities that begin to happen around you. Or if you are like, you know, guides, I want to see a sign and you're like, I need butterflies and butterflies are everywhere. I'm getting thousands and thousands of emails from readers that are reading this book in the last two weeks. It's been out. And they're just like, Gabby, every single sign I've asked for is coming to me. And like, it just speeds up.
Starting point is 01:30:11 Ask for a sign today. If you're having a difficult experience, say guides. What would your sign be? Don't think, just say it. Just say it. Don't think. Oh, the sign itself? Like a pumpkin or anything. An eagle. Eagle is your sign. That's a good one. It's strong. See how everybody, how he answered that. That'd be the first thing that comes to mind. And now if there's an issue that's happening in your life, just say to yourself silently today at the end of this podcast, just say, thank you guides. Thank you universe, whatever you believe in, right. For showing me my Eagle to remind me that I'm on the right path. So ask for the sign, the Eagle. Thank you for revealing my Eagle. Thank you for revealing it before I see the Eagle. Yeah. Thank you for revealing my eagle. Thank you for revealing it before I see the eagle.
Starting point is 01:30:46 Yeah. Thank you for revealing my eagle to remind me that I am being guided. Okay. Okay. And the eagle will mean whatever I give the meaning to, whether it's to make a decision on something or- If it's just being guided in general or if it's being guided towards that job or that healing or that whatever, right?
Starting point is 01:31:01 Sometimes I'll use a sign like, am I supposed to take this deal and I don't know what to do and I'm feeling so uncomfortable about it. And I'll say, show me a sign and I'll get this. And the thing is, if you don't get your sign, that's a sign too. But you absolutely will get your sign. If you're asking to be shown that you're being guided,
Starting point is 01:31:17 100% you're going to get your sign. Luis is going to text me later, everybody. I saw the eagle. My eagle! Just having a photo of like some massive eagle. So give me an example for people. It could be an eagle like in a photo or an eagle you know not some eagle sitting on my window which is would be amazing that could be that too um so give me so let's give an practical example for someone say someone says uh there's a a female listening or male listening
Starting point is 01:31:42 and saying okay is this should i go on a date with this person? Yeah. A second date with this person, right? Just something small. Show them my sign. Show them my sign. Yeah. And what if you don't see, and the sign is to reveal that you're supposed to go on this date
Starting point is 01:31:55 or to give you some guide. And if you don't get the sign, if you don't get the sign, and you decide to go on the date anyway, it's okay. There's still some learning in that. There might be not. There have been times where I've done things where i didn't get my sign and they didn't work out necessarily but i still learned something from the experience has there ever been a time where you didn't see a sign and it did work out uh maybe you saw the sign later or something it worked out in a different
Starting point is 01:32:20 way yeah right so like if i was like i need a sign about this situation and I didn't get the sign. Oh, here's an example from the book. So I was, uh, my, my two weeks before I was meant to conceive my doctor, who was like a very conservative Yale trained physician in my little tiny country town was like, you're, you're turning. Well, I just turned 39. I was 38 when I was pregnant and I just turned 39. So he considered me 40. Okay. I was like, dude, turning, well, I just turned 39. I was 38 when I was pregnant and I just turned 39. So he considered me 40. I was like, dude, I was 38 a week ago and now I'm fucking 40. So he makes me 40. And he's like, we believe that you need to deliver 40 and 40, 40 weeks when you're 40 years old. And I was resisting and resisting. And I was like, I'm not 40 and I don't want to be induced
Starting point is 01:33:01 and I don't want to force the baby out. I don't want to have that kind of thing. And I, um, so I was so torn up because he was so nervous and that was infiltrating my fear, my fears. And so I was in his office and I was like, okay, universe, I can't make the decision. I need a sign. And so I said, show me a sign. If following this path is the right move. And he walked in the door and he was wearing this necktie. And I said, Howie, what's on your tie? And he said, it's a, it's a Cardinal. And I said, okay, in my head, I'm like, that's my sign. It's a Cardinal. And so the next day I had to make a decision if I wanted to get booked. So I didn't have an opportunity to see my Cardinal before I made that quote, that decision, because I had to book him in the schedule
Starting point is 01:33:44 and he was leaving the next week. It was, it was a mess. So I made the decision without seeing the sign. I said, okay, to be induced, to schedule an induction. It's not what I wanted. And so I made that decision. I was in my bath. I texted my girlfriend. I said, okay, I'm going to be induced. This is happening. And she writes back to me, that's a great decision. I feel really good about it. And I know it's good for you because I saw a cardinal land on my window just now. Cardinal land. No way. Did you tell her the sign?
Starting point is 01:34:11 She had no idea about the sign. Wow. But here's the thing. So I got my cardinal. It gave me the guidance that I was on the right path. I was meant to be induced on a Wednesday. On a Monday, I'm lying in my bed. I'm finishing the finishing touches of the book because I wanted to deliver the book before I delivered the baby.
Starting point is 01:34:27 So I stand up to go to the bathroom and my water breaks. No way. And here I am. And I have the most epic Beyonce birth. Like there was nobody at the hospital. I had like rolling hills out my window. And like I was the only one birthing in the maternity ward. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 01:34:43 And I had, you know, the sun setting. So the whole point is, is that my sign was saying, yeah, you're on the right track. Make the decision so that I could relax. Because if I hadn't made that decision, I wouldn't have relaxed. My water wouldn't have broke because I would have been too freaked out and tense and everything worked out. Do you see what I'm saying here? So if you don't see your sign, that's still guidance. And then, you know, if you get your sign, even if it's something you didn't want, you know. What has been the biggest lesson of motherhood that you were unexpectedly, because you have lots of friends who are mothers. Yeah, I had no idea. You have so many fans of
Starting point is 01:35:17 yours who are moms that you speak to all the time. And maybe you thought you knew what they were going through. You could speak into some of their challenges, but what have you really learned? Maybe three biggest lessons so far about motherhood and what mom's experience in the first year of motherhood. So in terms of what mom's experience and what happens, and I think my son has taught me, has given me the greatest gift of healing I could ever have imagined. Because as soon as I became pregnant, what happens for women is all your shit comes up. And for men too, you know, when you're like about to bring life into the world and be responsible for that life, your, your darkest demons start to come to the surface. And so many people just push it down,
Starting point is 01:35:55 push it down, push it down. And so I don't push things down. I was like, let's go. Okay. I'm ready. I'm willing. Let's go for this. And so I, you know, I worked at it along the way and then the postpartum and that gave me even a greater, greater step of healing. So his presence in my life has already put me on a massive healing path. I've had, you know, fast forward healing in the last year and a half. So that I'm grateful. My son has taught me that I am going to make my highest priority in life to honor his feelings. People keep asking me, like, what's your parenting advice? I'm like, look, I've been doing this for 10 months, but I can tell you this. Honor their feelings. Imagine that was something that we experienced.
Starting point is 01:36:38 Amazing. I mean, you'd be a different person. I'd be a different person. And if we could honor any human's feelings, any human being, particularly a child. And then I guess the third thing that I've learned as a mother, there's so much, but is that they have their own guides. They have their own, they're not, oh, this is big. He is not my son, Oliver Rocklin. He is not the son to Zach, the son to Gabby. He is not my son, Oliver Rocklin. He is not, you know, the son to Zach, the son to Gabby. He is his own spirit having a human experience.
Starting point is 01:37:08 Wow. And he is a person. He's not a baby. Wow. Yeah. And you're just here to guide him. I am in an archetypal position to be a guide and a love and a support for him. But I find myself often being like, my baby is so cute.
Starting point is 01:37:25 My baby, my baby. And then I have to stop myself and say, Oliver, not my baby. He's not my baby. He's him. Wow. So when we reflect our judgment on someone else, we don't like something,
Starting point is 01:37:38 we're angry at them, we're pissed off at them, whatever it is. How can we shift that to see the good in them? Read Judgment Detox. Okay. Because sometimes I'm just like, yeah, I wrote a book about it. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:37:51 I get it. But I'll answer your question fully right now, which is like, when we are in judgment of somebody else, what's happening is that we're projecting onto them our own wounds. Gosh. And so the second step of Judgment Detox is to, well, the first step is to- Heal your wounds. Is to honor your wounds. Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 01:38:07 It's so hard to not judge other people, isn't it? It gets easier if you practice it. That book helped me so much. And do I not judge all the time? Of course I still judge. But when I judge, I don't believe in it. And I get out of it quickly. So what do you say when you're judging someone else?
Starting point is 01:38:23 I witness my judgment without judgment, step one. I honor the wound. Okay. Oh, I'm judging them because I'm feeling insecure. I'm judging them because they're triggering something. Right. And then I continue on the journey of the judgment detox, which, you know, just releasing and forgiving and, and, uh, seeing someone for the first time, choosing to see them through the lens of love. It's, it's a fabulous book. See them through a lens of love. Yeah. Get that book too. What do you think is your greatest accomplishment in 40 years of life? My greatest accomplishment in 39 years, two weeks away from 40. Don't age me. I can't live on 40. Oh my God. So my greatest accomplishment is the freedom I'm feeling right now today here with you
Starting point is 01:39:07 is my greatest accomplishment. My recovering from trauma is my greatest accomplishment. It will be the best contribution I can give to the world. I am going to help people because even just being in this state of freedom will help people watching because they will see what they're capable of. Yeah. Yeah. That's powerful.
Starting point is 01:39:25 And do you feel like you'll be able to make a bigger impact in the world by being a mother? Already, yeah. So I've noticed myself in my talks, I would always have a really good boundary, which you have to have, as you know, when we do the work we do. Because if I'm going to get up and answer questions, people, my audience is like, you know, coming up being like, I have a brain injury or I'm suicidal or, you know, and I have to hold them in their, in their, in their transformation, but not take it on. But as a mother now, I don't feel that I'm taking it on, but I have a way deeper level of compassion
Starting point is 01:39:58 for people that I never had before. Cause you're experiencing all this innocent child in them. I don't see them as an adult who hasn't taken care of themselves or as an adult who's done stupid things. I see them as a wounded child. And all I want to do is just hold them into love. And that's maybe one of my talks, this one woman was so wounded. And I actually went as far as asking her to come up so I could just hug her. And that is so against everything I've ever done in my career. Why? I would never like touch someone or, you know, have it. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't hug somebody like casually, but I held her like an, I'm a hug. You know what I mean? I was like, this is, and I kept holding her. I said, you're safe. You're safe. You're safe. And I didn't know what came over me. The other thing that's happening is I'm becoming more unapologetic
Starting point is 01:40:41 about my mediumship. So we're all mediums. We all have the ability to listen to spirit and like, but I can, you know, I've throughout my life, I've always heard messages and you know, just like giving messages to people. And I always have channeled throughout my talking, but now we're normally, I would say, you know, okay, this is the guidance. If I'm hearing it as a guide, I'll say what I'm hearing for you is this and I'll deliver it in a different way. So people that's smart. Yeah, yeah. So people can receive it. Not if they don't believe in some type of medium stuff, they can receive it. Sometimes I'll just tell them. Like, I think, you know, your grandmother is telling me something.
Starting point is 01:41:11 Like, Tim's telling you this. Yeah. Sometimes. Not always. I've never had a, someone who calls himself a medium that does this practice on the show. I've been pitched like different mediums to come on and I've always been kind of resistant. But lately I'm like, you know what? I think it'd be a fun experience.
Starting point is 01:41:26 Oh yeah. You should have someone. Is there someone that you think is like the best at what they do? There's so many. I mean, um, yeah, let's talk offline because I can sit here and tell you five or six different names and I don't want to offend anybody out there. I know a lot of mediums. Sure. Sure. I don't want that one being like, why didn't you say me on Lewis house? So I'll give you some suggestions. Yeah. Great. All good though. It'd be fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:44 What do you think is missing from you to get to the next level in your life? Whatever that looks like for you. Um, what's missing? There's, there's a little bit more trauma work that I've got to face. It's not missing though. It's not like it's, it's, it's, it's in perfect time. Around what? What's the trauma around?
Starting point is 01:42:03 Um, just a lot of the sexual trauma the shame around the sexual trauma yeah you talked about it on our show a couple years ago a couple years ago and i know you've been doing a lot of work over the last few years with it but do you feel like you're fully you're not fully healed with those things yet i don't think i am either even though i talk about it for the last six years you're more healed than ever before. I'm at peace a lot about it, but there's still little triggers. EMDR. Yeah, so I keep hearing that. I really recommend it to you.
Starting point is 01:42:30 Okay, I'll try that. Yeah. Where do you think you'll be once you have that final healing? Freedom is my end game, right? I hope to live for a long, long time feeling free. I did talk with Deepak Chopra yesterday, and I was on the plane with him coming here. And we were chatting about, you know, I was like,
Starting point is 01:42:51 do you feel triggered or choked up? You know, he's like, not at all. With nothing. I'm happy all the time. And it's because of his practice. It's because of his devotion to his practice. So I'm getting closer and closer to that. It doesn't mean I'll be enlightened. It doesn't mean his devotion to his practice. So that's, I'm getting closer and closer to that. It doesn't mean I'll be enlightened. It doesn't mean I'll have bad experience. I won't
Starting point is 01:43:10 have bad experiences. It doesn't mean I won't be a human, but that I can feel free even when things are tough. What do you think it is that he has or people like him have that allow them to have zero connection to, or not allow the ego to affect them in a triggering way, in a reactive, defensive way, guarded when maybe something bad happens to them. Maybe a business deal goes down. He's a person who grew up being taught that the divine is the direction, that God was the, I don't want to use language that's not his, but he had a very spiritual upbringing. So it was a foundational experience for him. And he's devoted his life to being at ease and meditate. He's up very early, meditates for two hours, I think, in the morning. And I think it's his devotion and commitment that's let him be that way.
Starting point is 01:43:57 Isn't it amazing that when I am consistent with my meditation practice, I feel like I'm unstoppable. Like the longer I meditate, I feel like I see, it's like the matrix. You'll see someone saying something to you. And it's exactly what you need. You become a super attractor. This is what the whole book is about, baby. The more we practice being in alignment, the more that unstoppable experience occurs. But when we are just living out of alignment, we feel out of alignment.
Starting point is 01:44:26 That's it. Things don't work. That's it. We're pushing. What do you think is missing from your point of view as a friend of me, what's missing in my life to help me attract more of good things that I want? I think there's a little more trauma work to do. I can feel it. And you've said it a few times. And so I'm going to hold your hand while I say this, because I love you so much. And I will help you if you need any guidance and support just to listen and be there for you. Because you have the potential for that same freedom that I'm talking about now. We all do. But particularly, you're right there.
Starting point is 01:44:53 But there's shame and there's places to go to that I think you're ready to go now. And that it hasn't been – there's been no step along the way that's been an accident. It's all been perfect order for you. And it's all been unfolding perfectly and, you know, humbling moments and difficult times and things that come up only to get you to the place where you're ready to crack open more and face some of the dark, the darkest stuff. And you need to do that with a, so I'm hearing that you need to do that with a, with a facilitator that you trust, someone that you feel safe with, and someone that will really give you that, hold that space for you to go to the places that scare you. Sounds good. I'm in.
Starting point is 01:45:33 Because you're doing really big shit in the world, you know, big stuff, big work. And it's going to be massive the more free you become. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited to continue to work. And I'm really proud of you because the fact that you even asked that question is so major because it means you're willing.
Starting point is 01:45:50 Yeah, definitely. I'm so proud. I love you so much. Thank you. I love you. Yeah. And you said the first step is willingness. And what?
Starting point is 01:45:56 You said willingness is the key for something before in one of our interviews. Willingness is the catalyst for change because the moment that we become willing, it's like we invite the next right action. We invite God into our life to show us where to go and what to do. The willingness that you've developed over your life over the last 36 years got you into this seat right now with me while we're talking about things that we've both been through for you to say what's next and for me to honestly and authentically say, this is what I think is next.
Starting point is 01:46:21 Okay. I trust you. I trust your willingness. and authentically say, this is what I think is next. Yeah, okay. Okay, so- I trust you, I trust you. That's your willingness. Thank you so much for listening to this episode all about how to master the law of attraction. If you enjoyed it,
Starting point is 01:46:32 make sure to share it with a few friends right now. You can send them the link, lewishouse.com slash 1080, or you can copy and paste this link wherever you're listening to this podcast and text it to some friends, post it on social media. Make sure to tag me, at lewishouse as well, so I know that you're listening to this podcast and text it to some friends, post it on social media. Make sure to tag me at Lewis Howes as well. So I know that you're listening. Also would love it if you share your feedback on this show, leave us a rating and review and let us know what you enjoyed most about this episode over on Apple podcast. And if this is your first time here, or if you're a listener, but you haven't subscribed yet, then make sure to
Starting point is 01:47:03 click that subscribe button right now. It helps us really reach more people and change lives together. So click on that subscribe button over on Apple Podcasts right now and leave us a rating and review of what you enjoyed about this episode. And if you want inspirational messages sent to your phone every single week from me texting to you, then text me the word podcast right now to 614-350-3960 to get inspirational messages sent to your phone every single week. And I want to leave you with this quote from Maya Angelou who said, ask for what you want
Starting point is 01:47:37 and be prepared to get it. I'm so grateful that you took the time today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope you learned something new and you can apply it right now into your life to start seeing results that you want in your life. And if no one has told you lately, you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.

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