The School of Greatness - 215 Gabrielle Reece on Family, Healthy Living, and Having It All

Episode Date: August 17, 2015

"When you're looking around, you're not moving forward." - Gabby Reece If you enjoyed this episode, check out videos, show notes and more at http://lewishowes.com/215.

This is episode number 215 with Gabby Reese. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome everyone to the podcast today, episode 215.

Make sure to head back to the show notes at lewishouse.com slash 215 if this is your first time here. Thank you for joining. You're in for a special treat because we have one of the greatest women's beach volleyball players of all time, Gabby Reese, here. And she's also a successful model, actress, writer, and fitness expert. conversation because last week I had her husband, Laird Hamilton, on who shared some incredible insights, so much positive feedback from that episode. So make sure to go check out that episode after you listen to this one. Do them back to back because they're both extremely powerful in their own way. And Gabby talks a lot about how she overcame so much adversity in her childhood growing up through into the ranks of professional volleyball and transitioning.

Then talks about married life with a successful, what I like to call alpha male, who's a very manly man. What that takes to be in relationship, to thrive and be an independent woman, have your own thing going on as well, but also be the woman that does it all, that has it all, who is it all. And that's definitely the definition of Gabriela. She is it all and is such a lovely person to be around. So I'm very excited for you guys to dive into this. And before we do, I just want to give a quick mention about the book that's coming out. That's right. The School of Greatness book is coming this October 27th. It's going to be in

your hands. All you got to do is go to greatnessbook.com and pre-order a copy or 100 copies today. That's right. Go to greatnessbook.com. Check it out. I can't wait for you to get it in your hands and start diving in. That's right. I'm super pumped about this. But until then, you've got some amazing content right here. And make sure to go back to lewishouse.com slash 215 to watch the full video interview as well. Check out all the information and sites about where you can connect with Gabby online. And without further ado, let's go ahead and dive in to this episode with the one and only Gabby Reese. Welcome, everyone, back to the School of Greatness podcast. We've got Gabby Reese. How's it going? Good. Thank you for having me. Thank you for

letting me come to your home. I'm very excited to be here. Some people are happy to be here, some aren't. It's like a magical land here. You know, I was driving up through the hills and getting up here and the pool and the scene and everything, the workout room. I was like, this is an athlete's dream to be here. Yeah. We're fortunate that we've had the opportunity to create this environment. And I mean, if you talk to my kids out there, it's still like I'm telling them to brush their teeth here and take their laundry and put it in the hamper. So it's still a house still. Right, right, right. Exactly. But it's like a whole facility. It's like a compound for greatness. It's inspiring.

We have moments, maybe, of greatness flowing in and out. I think, like everyone, we're doing the best that we can. Yeah, of course. Of course. Well, that's all we can do is our best. So our publicist, our mutual friend, Amy, introduced us. So I'm very grateful for that. And she said, I've got to interview you for my podcast.

And I didn't really know who you were until she started talking about you. Then I became fascinated. Because you're young. You're a lot younger. Yeah, but then I realized, oh, she was like, well, she's one of the top volleyball players in the world, and this and that. And I was like, well, she'd been to the Olympics, and it was kind of before it all came about in the Olympics and things, right?

Well, I was actually playing in a different discipline, I was playing 4-on-4 when the Olympics got rolled into 2-on-2. And so I, you know, and maybe it's, I don't want to say not a popular idea, but there was a part of me that was always really realistic about the platform of beach volleyball. And so, first of all, 4- four and four lended itself to my strengths. And so I'm a bigger player. And so you can be a little bit more specialized two on two. You have to be well-rounded and every really diverse. And I had just come from college. And so there wasn't a lot of time, if you will. And so I got drafted to play four and four and it just, it was sort of like hit the road running. And, and, um, and also I was looking always at the other elements of, of my business

and I continued to pursue all of those, those things because, you know, it's like you're, you're sort of calibrating two things. You're calibrating being a great athlete, which I dedicated 90% of my time and my training where about 10% of my income came from. Right. Exactly. That was your passion. And it was the thing for me, right? It was the thing that made me feel good about myself and made me feel, um, not proud, but when you work hard, that feels really good. And it's sort of like, well, let me see how, you know, if I can continue to improve and to be on a team there's no better feeling you know it's yeah i mean even laird is an individual athlete but he still has a guy that's going to rescue him or tow him onto a wave and enjoy his ride and there is a connection there and i think for me

um volleyball i've talked about this a lot like kerry walsh for her i think volleyball is besides all those elements it was like okay i'll go to ncaa finals and then i'll go and i fell into it and i sort of thought wow this is a great environment for me i'm with you know i have like a family and i have coaches that help me and that push me to work hard and even the fact that i think you respect yourself when you are working hard and improving, I think it's part of life. It's like you doing this podcast, the notion of how can I be better today than I was yesterday in some way is really an essence of life. So volleyball was always those things for me, but I was also always looking at my other business. And what was your other business?

Well, when I started in college on a scholarship at Florida state, I was modeling and that was to pay the bills. Of course. Right. I wasn't like, Oh, I want to be a model. I never thought about that because the way I grew up too, wasn't like people like, wow, you're so great. And you're so pretty. They're like, you are giant. You're tall. Cause you were like six, three when you were 12 or something like 15, six foot at 12. Wow. So what was good? Yeah. Well, boys grow slower, slower. You, you finished strong though. Don't worry. Um, but I think for me it was, I just looked at it very practically. You know, I didn't come from a place where my family could afford. I was on my own. And so I looked at it as a job. You traveled the world and you were paid very well for it.

Um, and so I, I sort of strategically said, okay, this is one job. You traveled the world and you were paid very well for it. And so I sort of strategically said, okay, this is one job. And then once I turned professional in volleyball, I, again, we weren't really making very much money in prize money. So I... Like what's the most you're making, like $1,000 a tournament? No, no, you were doing better than that. $10,000 a tournament, $20,000. So if you're a doubles player, maybe you could do 10 or if000 or if it's an international, $20,000, correct. And depending on how big the tournament was.

For fours, though, you were maybe sitting at like $3,000 each athlete on a team of four. And all your expenses were paid. $30,000 each athlete? $3,000. $3,200, $3,000. Each athlete, if you win. Each team, if you win. But if you lose, it's like $300.

You probably got like $1,500. Okay, okay. And the great, the beautiful thing about fours is that that league paid for all the expenses. That's nice. Yeah, because then you had athletes that weren't going to be out of pocket to try to at least win. So it was a running joke, you know, like with my accountant. She'd be like, oh, you didn't lose any money this year playing volleyball. Because, you know, as a captain, if I took my team to dinner or paid a coach extra outside of the

you know you had to pay for your own coach everything so i would pay i had a really great coach gary sato so he deserved obviously to be paid nike was really helpful you know with all of that but so i was always very conscious that hey this is i understood the limitations of what that's that sports platform provided so that's why i was always and i and i knew that i was fortunate to have these other platforms so it wasn't like i thought oh i'm gonna have these i understood that it was a real opportunity for me so i did television and a lot of writing very early by by the time i was 22 because i was now a professional so i was allowed to when i was doing ns, I played two years on scholarship

and then gave up my scholarship so I could model. Because it made more sense financially. You should make more. Yeah, because otherwise it was against the rules. You couldn't have a job? Yeah, you can't have a paying job and then be on scholarship. That's crazy. So I gave up my scholarship and continued to play for Florida State

for my last two years. So you still played, you just didn't get, I was a walk-on. Gotcha. Wow. But you were the captain of the team or, I mean, I was a starter, but it's still, you know, it was a joke between my coach and I, I was a walk-on. It's crazy. But I just kind of did the math and thought, you know, and it was just better. So I've always sort of looked at it a little bit differently too, because I think I'm also geared more for survival first and so i i understood too that also those opportunities have a very short window on them so you better take advantage three four years when they're there if you're fortunate or you connect one to the next so maybe you develop a skill set if it's tv or it's writing but then it parlays into the next opportunity or what have you. So what was it like growing up?

And you grew up in the Virgin Islands, is that right? Yeah. So, well, okay. So I was born actually in California, but I didn't really live here. Then my mom, and I'm not making this up, and it does sound like I am, but I'm not. She was training dolphins in Mexico City. No way. In a circus.

You are making it up. And I lived there. I was about two years old, two and a half, and I got a whooping cough. So a childhood friend of hers and her husband, they took care of me, and they took me to Long Island, New York, for five years. So from two and a half to seven, I lived with them. And when I was five, during that time, my dad, who I wasn't living with either, he passed away. And so then when I was seven, my mom had gotten remarried to a gentleman,

my stepfather, who was from Puerto Rico. And we moved down there. And oddly, my father, my biological father, is from Trinidad. So I have, you know, sort of roots to the islands. So then they didn't want to live in Puerto Rico, hence moved to St. Thomas. Lived there until I was 15. Seven to 15. And then I was getting a little idle time. It's not great for a teenager.

So my mom said, you're out of here. My junior year, I moved to St. Pete, Florida. I got really involved with volleyball. I had dibble dabbled a little bit before that, but really got involved. And also basketball, very seriously. I had a great coach. And then my senior year, I played both sports. And the joke was I had about six, I don't know, five or six offers for volleyball and about 30 for basketball. Really? You were better in basketball? Because I had a better coach. And I went to a BC camp at the time. I don't even know if they exist anymore.

BC. Blue Chip Camp. So you're invited. And so I went to the south, east region. And that's where I knew, too. I didn't know if I was tough enough really to hang with all the Division I girls. Really? At that camp, I was like, oh, yeah, maybe I should have a net between me and her.

And I just loved volleyball. I mean, I loved basketball, too., maybe I should have a net between me and her. And I just loved volleyball. I mean, I loved basketball too. But so then I went to Florida State and I had the opportunity to model then, but it wasn't a for sure thing. And going to school on a scholarship was. And I was 17. So I had a little bit of time. And then that following summer is when I started working in New York. That's great. What was it like growing up when you were, you know, on the islands, six feet, whatever, at a young age? How did that affect you or did it affect you? Did it give you more confidence or did it make you feel like an outsider? Well, it's interesting. I mean, there's a couple of dynamics going on. I think I was, because I didn't come from the most stable environment, I think my mind was first on other things, which was, you know, when you're navigating not living with your

parents and then you're sort of also fending for yourself a little bit, that's actually first order, you know. And then, of course, I was very aware I would go places everyone stared at me because I was very unusual. You know, now kids are a lot taller. White girl on these islands, yeah. Yeah. But the good thing about the Caribbeanibbean was it's a diverse

place yep so i think that within that i think it was a big deal but it wasn't a big deal and my mother's very tall uh she's about she's very close to my height she's six two and a half a very beautiful woman so i also had somebody i was living with that and she's very athletic that um it didn't seem to be really a problem so it was never really a problem for me very beautiful woman. So I also had somebody that I was living with that, and she's very athletic, that, um, it didn't seem to be really a problem. So it was never really a problem for me. I just realized it was, it created a reaction with other people. Yeah. Um, you were confident in your own skin. I wasn't, no, I wasn't walking around like a rooster. I just wasn't tormented by it. I certainly was still trying to blend in. You had insecurities. Be cool. And that's just the nature of being a female and going through puberty.

I think any teenager. Correct. So I had the natural amount of that with a heightened amount of, okay, you know, I went to one school for a minute in eighth grade and I thought I was a substitute teacher. You know what I mean? Like just things like that. But I think in the end, and I always believe this, that those rubs that you get in life are the things that if you can survive them, make you very strong. Um, but I think what was really good for me was, is having to have a real sense of self and that it was based on what I thought, not what others thought, because then swing the door the other way. When I'm 18 and I'm

living in New York and being paid for an appearance. I didn't buy into that either because I already had defined it for myself. So I wasn't like going now I'm really great because you guys say I'm great. Just like five years prior, I wasn't fully buying into I'm a weirdo or a freak because you guys think I'm that way. So I think that that was a really valuable lesson. How did you get that understanding or confidence on both spectrums? How did you have the awareness during that time? I think because I didn't come from the most stable situation. I think I was very focused on bigger ideas. That's interesting that you were thinking that way at that age. Yeah, I think that's just how you're born. I would love to say I was really, oh, I was so smart and all these things. I don't think that's the case.

I just think it's my gearing. And I think maybe intuitively, I remember moving to Florida and then by my senior year kind of going, you know, very soon this is going to be my life. And so everything I do, I should do for myself. Instead of just being defiant because I was angry or upset about certain things sort of going, okay, but what do I want my life to look like instead of being aggravated about the way it wasn't? What do I want it to look like? And I knew clearly very young that I thought there were certain things that my, my mother, or even the couple that took care of

me that are wonderful and an important part of my life still it seemed really hard to me and i knew i wanted to make it easier it didn't mean i didn't i didn't think i was gonna have to work hard right i just intuitively knew can remember like being 13 going um i think i'm gonna try to make some of this easier on your life and everything you're doing yeah even like i mean we never had we couldn't afford it we never had cars really that worked well and i remember like being with like radiators that were overheating thinking i don't think i want to spend days of my life fixing this putting water in a radiator before you take you know it's like all these things and

it's easy for me to say because again it's this is a a blessing you. These are blessings. But I remember feeling that determined early that young. Certain things I want to make easy on myself. Sure. How long did your professional volleyball career last for? Intensely for about 8 to 10 years. And then my one knee was really giving me a lot of problems. And also randomly at the same time I got an opportunity, somebody wanted to pay me to train for golf to see if I could just get my card.

Not become a great golfer, but become good enough. To get your pro card. Correct. Were you a good golfer already? No, I never played golf in my life. That was the whole thing. But I sort of thought there was a couple interesting things for me about it. One, I thought, wow, this could really prolong that environment of working hard towards something.

And why not? And also volleyball, again, there was a limitation. And so I thought I'd try it. So after about three years, I had, yeah, three years. Then I had my, I birthed my first daughter. This was my second daughter because laird came with a four month old who was my daughter and so um and i just couldn't i couldn't juggle so i started doing long drive competitions and was qualifying for those for the world

championships because i was like okay one club and by nature i could hit it pretty long sure um you know it's just physics but um it just, I couldn't get it done. And I learned a very valuable lesson because I worked many, many years, many, many hours at this, is that the reason I was a good volleyball player is because I fell into the game and I really enjoyed the game and I became good at the game. You loved it. Correct. They put the goal, the end game first. Not the love, not the passion.

And I never got to discover because I was just on the mission for, I have to get that. And I never had the discovery or the relationship with golf, the joy of it. No. And so it was a really a big mistake on my part. Um, and not to mention, you're talking about one of the most difficult and maddening games. So challenging. Yeah. And I have heard stories. I think it would be virtually impossible on the men's side. But there are stories of a few women that have started very late and gotten their cards. Wow. Are they the top 10?

No, they're not. Because I think you do need to start very young in order to sort of reach that level. But there are stories of women who started at 20 or 22 or what have you. So you never got the card? I didn't. I started having children. Even better. Even better. More joy there. But you won some the card? I didn't. I started having children. Even better. Even better.

More joy there. But you won some world championships driving, is that what you said? No, I qualified for the world championships. That's great. That's cool.

Yeah, it was good. But you weren't fully 100% invested in the path. It was just a different path. It was like an experiment and they sort of said, hey, if you get the card then it's a success.

So every day that I was doing it and I didn't have my card, I wasn't being successful. Gotcha. Right? And what was the end get the card, then it's a success. So every day that I was doing it and I didn't have my card, I wasn't being successful. Gotcha. Right? And what was the end result for this? Was it just a, was it like a TV show or something? Actually, no.

Because golf is an interesting sport. It's the only sport that IP is, you can, it's profitable. So they had a system of golf called Gravity Golf that they were teaching me on. And it's actually quite interesting. So what they were trying to do is also have like a validation towards gravity golf and then that would be that would have been part of their business gotcha so it was all it was all that and then actually i did play in a few more tournaments um i played actually pregnant with my third daughter or second daughter and i that was brutal i was like five months pregnant. Nothing like coming out of retirement.

You're like 37 years old. And I was fit, always fit. Sure. But I got a beer belly. You did have a beer belly. They were trying to bring fours back, and I was always very passionate at fours because I thought it would be the best feeder system

to get indoor great players six on six to the beach quickly. Very few players can transition quickly. Quickly. It's hard. It takes a year or two probably to transition, right? Yeah, and then another six to be good

and even have smell winning. Unless you're Kerry Walsh. If you didn't grow up playing beach volleyball, she's one of the only few athletes. Misty May grew up playing beach volleyball. There are a few others

that were good quick. Holly McPeak. They all grew up playing beach volleyball. Otherwise, you grew up playing on the court. Correct. And so those athletes take a lot longer. And a lot of them can't stick it out. So force is a great feeder system. Gotcha. So I was like, okay, I'll come

out of retirement for that. Plus I knew I could do it. Yeah. And so I played there and I played one more, um, mini season when I was 40. Wow. Cause again, they were trying to resuscitate it. So I was like, fine, you can drag me out for one more. Fine. You know, force is a natural game for me. Yeah, that's cool. I like it. That's cool.

It's hard on my knees, but I like it. Yeah. Are your knees better now? Oh, no, they're not going to be better. They're not going to be better. No. It's, you know, I did all my 80 years of jumping in 25 years. Right, exactly.

But you're doing other types of fitness and activities right now, right? And why is living a healthy lifestyle so important to you today? Well, I think even competing in sports, what I learned was the joy of movement and even the discomfort of training. I always say most athletes kind of enjoy the grind on some level. It's not that they love all of it, but there's something in it for them. Also, it's very real. You have to remember, if I came from modeling or doing forms of television or what have you, it's a little bit pretend. And so I sort of always love the fact that you just couldn't really fake it.

You had to deliver, right? Yeah, yeah. And I met Laird at 25. So this has been my partner for many years. So I think it's just been a part of our lives. Yeah, fitness. Yeah. And so I just think I also believe that it's one of the most valuable things.

I mean, you can take all this away, but if my kids are healthy and I'm healthy, that's pretty valuable. Yeah, it's really valuable. Yeah. Now, I'm curious. I want to go off track a little bit. Um, I'm curious to know for all the women listening, do you have women listening? Oh yeah. Lots of women listening. Because they think you're cute. That's why. No, because I have great guests on. Right, Amy? But for all the women listening and the men really, um, what's it take to be with a strong driven man for a woman? What's it take to be with a strong, driven man? For a woman, what's it take from you to have this thriving relationship?

I mean, I've seen you guys together for a couple hours now, and it just seems so positive and joyful. And it seems like you have a great language that you speak together, even when you're not speaking. And I'm curious, what does it take from you or any woman to experience being with a driven man who's got crazy dreams and who's going out there risking his life every other day and who's very macho in a good sense? Yeah, he is. But how does a woman step up to the plate to handle that and not take that away from him but embrace it and still get what she needs?

Sure. Speaking from your experience, I guess. Well, you know, first let me start off by saying that Laird and I have been together almost 20 years and we've had a few times that it was a little, it was going to be touch and go if we would continue on. Right. So I, by no means, so I want to sell it down the river. Like it's just been smooth the whole time.

You know, what happens too is when you enter into a relationship with somebody, unless So by no means do I want to sell it down the river like it's just been smooth the whole time. You know, what happens, too, is when you enter into a relationship with somebody, unless you're like either older and more experienced or just wildly, you know, evolved, which neither one of us are, you learn the rhythm and the dance. And so even for the first few years, you have chemical reaction getting you through it, and then you start stepping on each other's toes and you go, oh. And then you you have to either go are we going to try to learn the language or aren't we yeah so i think first there was that we've had the the good fortune of having a couple close like we're not going to make it early on or very early uh no i can i can sort of say two incidences like when i was 30 so 15 years ago, and then we had sort of a bump in the road before our last daughter was born.

And I think these are opportunities where if you can kind of grid it out, you can get to the other side of it. Yeah. So that's first. Okay. Secondly— So it hasn't been perfect is what you're saying. Nothing is perfect.

Sure. And definitely relationships aren't perfect and cohabitation, I believe, is in some ways oddly unnatural. But there's a couple

dynamics going on. One is Laird is very, very alpha. I wrote a book last year called My Foot's Too Big for the Glass Slipper, a guide to a less thanThan-Perfect Life.

And in there, I discuss how at a certain age, maybe in my early 30s, because I am very actually masculine in my thinking. Because you're very driven, you're very focused. Yeah, and actually Laird's more emotional than I am. And I say that respectfully and as a compliment. Yeah, I was really surprisedd's more emotional than I am, you know, and I say that like respectfully and as a compliment. Yeah, I was really surprised actually when he was guiding us. He's very sensitive, you know, if I was with myself, I would be bored to death, you know, like I'm very steady, same mood every day, you know, Laird's like this. But I think that, first of all, we're balancing each other out. And also what you learn is all the traits that you really love and respect

and admire about that individual person is connected to other things that are challenging. And so you go, hey, I don't want to throw those out because they're connected to these. And so you learn. I said this in my book. You've got to have your top five. What are your five things? Like some women might say successful, handsome, funny, whatever. Whatever your five are and then everything else, it's kind of like out the door.

And I knew for me, I really did want a very strong man because I feel like I'm a strong woman. You need someone to be a strong woman. Yeah, because I wanted to be in my home kind of the female. Yes. Because out in the world, I sort of express myself really more in a male way yes and so i i love that about laird and there's mutual respect which is paramount right you have to respect the other person but when you have an alpha male i always say you can't neuter them you gotta no you can't take their balls right or try laird if i tried he'd be like

what are you doing? We would be divorced. He's not going to allow that. And the other thing is I don't treat anyone, I'm not nicer to any person in the world than I am to Laird. I'm the nicest. And usually when we're in our house, we treat the people closest to us the worst. And it's, for me, because also Laird has sort of said and not said, this is my expectation. But having said that, he is the same way. Now he does it differently than me.

So that's the other thing is you start to learn how does the other person give? You don't say, well, I give like this. So you give like that. No, I give like this and then you give your way. And I just need to learn to recognize it. Yeah. Right. And appreciate it and not try to make it a game or make it like a counting game or something. You never keep score. Yeah, of course.

It just, it doesn't work. But you hope that there is sort of a give and a take. But I think, you know, what women have to understand, and I get just rousted for this all the time because I use the word submissive, you know, like in everything. But I sort of felt comfortable and maybe I could have used a better word like, you know, yielding or what have you to another person. Like there's nothing wrong with saying, oh, no, go ahead. Because if I don't really want to, I don't have to. Right. And then you hope that your partner's like, oh, no, go ahead. And so that's, first of all, we've had people go, well, it must be hard. You two are very strong.

You leave it at the door. I don't want to antagonize Laird. I'm not here to provoke Laird. I'm not here to agitate him. When I see people that live together and I can see them kind of actually trying to push each other's buttons, I'm like, man, life is too short. It's already hard enough as it is. But also some people, maybe that's their language. They get, they kind of get off on that. So being with an alpha male, you have to kind of let them be their, their strong male self. But the other side of that is they have to be tender. Like Laird's very good about this.

You look very pretty. Men don't realize that if they can focus, even if it's for a very short period of time on their woman and make her feel important and special, and he's attracted to her, he's going to have so few problems with her. The problem is, is that men aren't reminded or we're not clear about, this is important. So we're always like, we don't spend time together and you're golfing and all this. It's because she feels unsure. But if he can make her, I feel so loved.

I'm not unsure. And the other thing I know about Laird is he'll tell me what I need to know. I never will wonder. You know, if Laird's on a trip to Europe and I don't talk to him for three days, he'll tell me. You're not know. I never will wonder, you know, if like they're done a trip to Europe and I don't talk to him for three days, he'll tell me, you're not worried about it or anything.

Just let me know. Whatever. Just because it's just, I don't want to be that kind of person. I'm not going to call you and be like, well, where were you? I don't care.

Like it's not my thing. Like you'll let me know when we've got an understanding. If that's ever going to, something's going to go down then, or you want to be somewhere else someday, just let me know. We've got an understanding. If that's ever going to, something's going to go down, then, or you want to be somewhere else someday, just let me know. Yeah. You're here. Check in constantly.

No. And Laird is reminded he's here because he wants to be here. And I think, so with women, it's kind of, you know, and it sounds ridiculous, but men are, it's a chasing deal, right? And it sounds ridiculous, but men are, it's a chasing deal, right? So I think when a woman has her act together and she conducts herself a certain way and the male respects her and she can be kind and nice, he's probably not going to go too far. And I hate to say it, and I've talked about this a lot, you have to have sex. It's just a very simple thing. I'd hate to say that if i've talked about this a lot you have to have sex yeah it's just a very simple thing to say that if you've got to well no i mean people act like i mean i've done interviews

they're like so you said you should have sex on a regular basis like it's a big deal and i'm like okay but let's understand with men their language of love is two things food and sex straight up if i if i give laird food and he has sex on a regular basis, good to go. Pretty much happy for Laird. And respect him. Don't really get in his way. Yeah. He's incredible with our children. Yeah.

It's all these things. And so I think that, but it's up also to the man to understand how to cherish, protect. But also, you can't let us take over. Because as women, right, we want to control everything and that isn't always the best idea you know if we run the house pretty good idea right but if we're all of a sudden telling you how to talk walk dress think to do what not to do all the time you will you will resent me lose your identity and you will not be the man that i want to be with you fell in love with in the first place right so laird in a very nice way and not nice at times You will resent me. Lose your identity. And you will not be the man that I want to be with. You fell in love with in the first place.

So Laird, in a very nice way, and not nice at times, he said to me once, I had a mother, and she died. And I was like, Roger. So I think it's, and it's this, no man's going to save you. Laird's not here to make me happy. He's not going to make me happy. So that's another thing. We got read those books, right? Here comes the horse, you get on and everything's good. Um, in essence, I actually believe if, if a couple's together and it's a pretty good woman, she will bring out the best in the mail, but her happiness isn't relying upon

him. How does a woman, uh, in these days find her happiness with all that's going on? I know. What's the best way for them to find inner happiness? Yeah. Being with the man of their dreams or being without the man of their dreams? Because that's another thing I think is an important message. I don't think, oh, you have to be married or you have to have children to be fulfilled and happy. Right.

I would never sell that. I think everybody has an individual walk. I think it's first, who am I? What am I good at? How do I want to express myself? What are my passions? And I think it's very important to take care of yourself. I think exercise and eating well is a great start. The other thing that happens to women is we go through the process of being in a family and having children, and then we get spit out of that and we've lost our identity. And it's makes sense. It takes a lot of time and effort. How do you put everyone else first simultaneously to not losing yourself? How have you done it? Um, I'm selfish that way. I don't, you know, as much as I give to my family, I'm, I'm very clear that I will be the worst

person to live with if I don't stay defined as a human being. Never mind a woman. Just a human. Just as Gabby. Right? Because we have all these labels. And so I make sure that my voice doesn't get squashed. And I have a partner who, as long as, because no offense, men are babies, you know.

And as long as Laird's needs are getting met, he's like, go kill it, honey. Knock yourself out. If he felt neglected, he'd be a nightmare. And it's, and it's, and I, I've said this a million times, it's unfair. We have to do more and do more work as the women. And that's just the way it is. Um, because we have to sort of like, you know, we don't have to, but if you're going to be with an alpha male, if you want to be, yeah, yeah. If you have a different dynamic, which is completely possible, then you will have a different, it'll just be different. Right. And that's okay too. We're just talking about this dynamic. Sure. So what are you, what are you most passionate about these days then? What is, what excites you? What are you defining yourself with?

Well, I think, you know, obviously my family. Because when you peel it all away, when you look back on all of it, if you can't focus on the most important things, which is your relationships with your friends and your family, then you will have kind of, it will have passed you by. So I think the one thing I'm always clear about is like, these are the good old days because sometimes I more so than Larry can be like pressing ahead to a goal and you can like miss the point. Like it's like the holidays. I just try to get through the holidays, you know,

enjoying them. Yeah. And then I, well, yeah, but they talk about Christmas as an event put on by women to be enjoyed by men and children. But I'm just saying like, I go, okay, January 2nd, because Brody's birthday is January 1st. And then I go, just take it in because it's happening right now. So that's for a second of all, I mean, you know, my, my businesses, you know, I, I work in, I've been spreading a curriculum I created. We're putting in all the 24 hour fitnesses across the country. And it's called high X. it's a class that I created by accident. And, um,

I started doing, um, we moved from Maui to Kauai in the winters. And so I love Kauai. It's my favorite Island. Yeah. It's the islands. It's the most beautiful.

It's, it's unreal. It's a special Island. That's where Larry grew up. It's amazing. And Kauai. Oh yeah. Why they said in Oahu now on the North shore,

Oahu, he was very little in Oahu, but he grew up in Kauai. Kauai is amazing. That's why he's that look in his eye. No? On the North Shore of Oahu? He was very little in Oahu. Gotcha. But he grew up on Kauai. Kauai is amazing. That's why he has that look in his eye. Certain people you see in Kauai, they will look in their eye. Man, I lost myself. For three days I was there.

It was just like, it captivated me. You know, listen. I always say about Kauai, though, like, if you have any unsettled business with yourself, that island is tough on you. Yeah. Because you go like this. Right. Because we lived there in the mid-90s and it wasn't so pretty.

No, I bet not. No. I mean, for us, it was not pretty. And then we moved back about eight years ago. So about seven years ago, when we moved from Maui to Kauai, they shut the gym there. So I had a few friends. I said, okay, you know what? I'll rent out the community center three days a week.

You guys can train with me. It'll be fun. It was like eight of us. And then it was like, because it's a small place and nobody had a place to train 30 40 50 60 80 people and so then we moved it to the warehouse and so i charged everyone a dollar because i had insurance so that we had a contract and i so it was a you know it was a dictatorship not a democracy and it became like the ultimate classroom in kawaii and everyone to come to this was the place to be so after three years i thought It was a dictatorship, not a democracy. And it became like the ultimate classroom. In Kauai. In Kauai. If I ever wanted to come to, this was the place to be.

So after three years, I thought, oh, it's completely scalable. I could teach anyone who knows how to do that. After three years, I thought, it's completely scalable. I can teach people how to do this. So we created curriculum. We've gotten NASA and CEC points, like the whole thing. And the thing I love about it is my whole thing is to be, I was about community, even though, even though in some ways I'm like a very antisocial person,

I'm an only child. I wouldn't mind just being by myself. You know, like I'm always like, who are all these people in my house? And they're like my children and stuff. No, no, not the people downstairs. I can ignore. I mean, yeah, I'm like, Oh him. Oh, that's my husband and the children. You know, like I'm an only child. You know, I'm like, who are these people? You know, my kids want to have sleepovers. I'm like, more people, you know. But there is a part of me that I understand, and I think it comes from playing team sports, the power of community and a team. So high X, you're on a team, actually.

You're not working on alone. So you're on a team of two or four or six, like in my big classes, and you follow another team. So what creates is diversity. Men can be in a man group. 60-year-old women can be in a badass 60-year-old lady group. Because by the way, I got plenty of 60-year-old ladies banging more iron and heavier weights than my 20-year-olds. And so it creates diversity. But your team kind of reflects who you are. But in the big room, it's sort of a big hodgepodge of wildly conditioned and deconditioned and, you know, and everything has a regression and a modification and, and the workouts that I write are different each time. So when you come in, it's a, I've written over 1200 workouts. Yeah. And so we did the curriculum and now we're, we're doing it. You choose your

own team every time or you can just jump in. I put everybody on teams. But what happens is like, if you came and I said, are you here with anyone that you want to work out with you said no i put you on a team if you say yeah then you'd be on the team with your friend of course um i generally you know so it's like you have to read people very quickly to understand what kind of team to put them on um and we had to write all that psychology into the manuals for the teachers correct because half of the the success of the program is with right yep and so it creates accountability and let's say it's my first time and you've been here and then someone puts me on your team you actually help me so there's all these kinds of things

where people are taking accountability um and it has resistance training cardio proprioception and balance and a little bit of stretching so the other notion of that is early in the 90s when i was writing for you know all magazine or connie and ass magazines i don't have time i don't know what to do this is what i hear over and over for over 20 years so high x is a is a way i think fitness is a really um you know i think there's so many pieces to that puzzle yeah i think it's meditation and stretching and for some people it's running real runners are runners right that's what they do they're runners yeah and you don't get in the way of that right so it's it's not about like oh there's one way but this is a modality yes that will help the very busy person but you can go high or low

and it's difficult yeah and it's not the extreme CrossFit where you're going to kill yourself. You won't get hurt. You won't get hurt, but it's, but it's as extreme. It sounds like, no, no, I, it isn't as extreme because CrossFit and I, and I like their measuring system. I just think that they have certain moves that are challenging for a lot of people to do correctly. Um, and if you have long levers, for example, a different level, a different type of challenge, right? So I just, and you know what? Listen, whatever works for people. Of course.

But for me, HIACS is a very safe way to get it done. But yes, it's very challenging. When does it roll out in 24-hour fitness? It's been rolling out. They started teaching the classes about a month or two months ago. I've been doing the training. I trained master trainers about a month or two months ago. I've been doing the training. I taught, I trained master trainers about a year ago, and then we've been going to different cities and

regions and doing it. Is that what you're most excited about right now in your business side of things? Yeah. I mean, you know, the IP on that for me is like a cornerstone. It's an interesting thing as a woman. Okay. So here's how I look at it. You have pillars. So you have movement, you have nutrition, you probably have movement. You have nutrition. You probably have happiness or joy and maybe stress management, sleep, and all this. But then on top is all the stuff that women want to talk about. Aging, sex, relationships, makeup, skin care, right? So they actually, I just was at Idea, the fitness thing, and I spoke.

There's like 150 fitness bloggers. Not one asked me about fitness. So when I look at my business, I go, okay, we have to have the pillars because you can't get to all this if you're not really taking care of the basics. But then I look at really the business part is all this stuff up here. So that's kind of where I'm at. And now that I appear to be more approachable because I have children, even though I was approachable when I was an athlete, nobody ever asked me questions except other than like my training and volleyball. And how do you manage doing modeling and volleyball? Like sometimes people say, I didn't know you thought about that. I go, nobody ever asked me, you know, but so now that I'm a little older, I, that's where I'm

focused. I'm focused on how do we take the best care of ourselves and have those conversations what is it? Was it relationships? Is it my skin? Is it recipes? How do you make it taste good and be quick and not want to kill yourself? And just kind of all those things

so that's really, if you ask me what I'm focusing on, high X is almost like my volleyball. I show up, I've taught the class, I wrote the curriculum, I've done it. But really, it's just the anchor. It's real. And then it's the other stuff. Gotcha. What's the one question you've always wanted people to ask, but they never have?

I don't know. I think the perception of me is like big blonde girl from California where everything was smooth, you know? And so for me, the questions, sometimes I connect with them and sometimes I don't because the way I was raised and what I think about and what's important to me is often so far away from some of the questions. But listen, Laird and I talk about this a lot. When people are nice to you or recognize you or give you attention or what have you, just say thank you. Because the fact that we've both been able to do what we really love to do as a living is one of the greatest things you could ever do. And so what people pick up from you and what they need might be different

than what you think you are. And you get over that. In my twenties, I wanted to be taken very seriously. I'm serious, you know, and people want to talk to me about like modeling and I'm like, no, but I'm a serious person. And I'm like, great. You want to talk about hair color? Let's do it. You know, because that's also lightening up as a person and understanding too. It, it isn't actually about me. I'm just in a, I'm just occupying a space right now. You know, I occupied a different space in my twenties and then my thirties and now I'm here and someone else is filling that space in my, in their twenties.

Right? So you, you realize it's not you. It's just, you're occupying a space. You're representing something. What people need, they'll get from it. And then you, you go, you're going to go into another space, but you can't take yourself like, I'm so, you know, it's so serious and I, it's so important. My opinion, it's like, no, you know, you're lucky that even any person listens for a second, you know? So I think that's kind of a good thing about time and age and all that.

What is the, uh, the biggest lesson you've learned from your sports days in applying it to the rest of your life? What do you think has really supported you, those lessons? Well, it's the formula, right? It's the belief in yourself, even when it's scary and unknown. It's not going the way I want it to, but I'll keep believing and I'm going to keep working and I'm going to keep focusing. And also I'm going to keep asking myself and making sure I'm doing it for the right reasons,

you know, and I'm, and I'm going to deal with my fear and anxiety, right? Sure. I have fear and anxiety all the time. That's how I'm hardwired to not be successful. You know, Laird and I both walk around like our feet are on the fire because that's how I was geared. Um, and it's like, and it's also getting out of my way. The other thing is, too, is let yourself win. It's okay to... As a girl being an athlete, it was always hard for me. I want to win, but I don't want to stick out.

I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. And then you go, that's, again, another waste of time. So age and having children has made me understand some people are going to dig it, some aren't, and just it's okay. So to go for it, to keep your head down, believe in that formula of hard work. Sure. And then also to understand that everything has a timing. So even though my timing might be like, yo, I need it now, the timing of when it's supposed to all come together might be different. And to

believe in that process and have the faith. And when you don't, have a person that you can talk to and go, yo, I'm frustrated. And I'm scared. And both Laird and I are in a thing with a timeline. So you start going, well, maybe I'm going to run out of time. Maybe I'm going to get too old. You have all that weird stuff. Or maybe you're too young. You never think you're too young. To achieve something in business, maybe people will take you seriously. There's different stages. I don't know.

I had to think about it. Yes, actually. You know what? You're right. You're right. Because sometimes when I work with people, I was recently in Florida working with a guy who was very young. But he was very smart. And he said, though, but being this young.

Who's going to take me seriously? Right. So it's, it's all that. And it's understanding too. I try to go, well, what's the lesson so that maybe I can get through it faster. Like when it's going a certain way, I go, what is it that I'm supposed to be learning here so that maybe I can get on with it? Because it's sort of like, if you look around, if you ever have a week where you go, well, I've had conflict with this person and that person and this person. So the common thing in all of that is me. So what's going on? You know?

And so I think, you know, personal accountability is big in sports. Yeah. You know? So I think all of those things and discipline. Yeah. You know, you just grind out. What do you think are some strategies someone could increase their belief in themselves?

If they've been down, if they're constantly feeling with their failure and business life relationships, their health is out of integrity. What are some steps that people can increase their belief? Cause you know, as an athlete, that's the thing you need the most. Yeah.

Usually the ones that believe in themselves the most, the ones that believe that, uh, you know, God has given them the energy the most, whatever it is. It's the belief. Those are the ones who win or get to the highest level.

Sure. So how does someone increase that belief? Well, I'll give you an example. So my knee. I talk about my knee a lot. My knee is a big chink in my armor physically. And just when I start feeling sorry for myself and I go down that path, I stop feeling sorry for myself and I go down that path,

I stop for just a moment and I go, you should just say thanks that that's all you're dealing with. Right. But it's still there. Right. And so I think sometimes it's a shift in thinking and perspective. However, hard to get to if you're not feeling good and you're not eating good food, right? Because you're going on and up and down. Let's say you're eating sugar. So you're going, now you're tired. Hard to go, wow, I'm going to get great perspective and I'm exhausted because I was up doing gaming till two o'clock and now I'm up at six. So I'm going to go back to the pillars because I think I always say like exercise was way cheaper than therapy, right? It's a very straightforward thing. Even if it's walk. Right. And so let's say they can't get it done on their own. Do you have a friend

make creative environment? I don't pop out of bed already going, I'm so excited to exercise. No, I've created an infrastructure to be successful compound around you. And I have like, I teach a class that I better show up in. Right. to, yes. Right. So this is the thing, is how do you create infrastructure around you to be successful? Know your weaknesses. If you don't want to eat it, don't buy it at the grocery store and have it in the house, right? Say, okay, that's a go out to get thing, right? So I always say on the nutrition side, take out your worst thing. So if you're a smoker, what I say to you, stop smoking. No, I'd say, could you smoke less? would i say to you stop smoking no i'd say could you smoke less just today could you smoke less right if you eat uh twinkies could you take that out of your diet and just substitute like the three sodas could you have one and drink water is it's finding ways baby steps to kind of deal

with the pillars i gotta move consistently and eat and eat well to support my belief system because i can't get through here, get there through here and through here. If I feel miserable, I just think it's very difficult. So I think that that's one thing. I think having the understanding that everything sort of has its process. And so nothing happens easy. I have not had one thing in my career, in my relationships, parenting or otherwise, just happen easily. Now they happen, and they're pretty good. They've never happened easily, right? So it's going into things. When you're integrating your belief system, know that it's going to be a little bit of work.

Doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up. That's the other side, though. When it can be easy, allow it to be easy. And who you surround yourself with. Your belief system is still a reflection on the people around you. I'll give you another example. Laird will have people around him, if they're his same age or younger, and they'll go,

Oh, well, yeah, because now I'm 48 and I don't do that. They've got to go. They're in the way. They've got to go. They're in the way. They've got to go. Because for Laird and his belief system and what he's trying to accomplish, he can't be around those kind of people. So if you are trying to create a situation where you feel good about yourself, you have to have people around you that their messaging is similar.

Can't be nagging you or talking about it. Or like, why do you think you can do that? Or that's going to be really hard. They can say, it's completely doable. What's your plan of action? It's going to be tough, but you can do it. Right. You cannot have people go like, why do you think you can do that?

Questioning you. Correct. They got to go. So I think it's all of these things and seeing this. But then understanding that, you know, and I'm not a particularly religious person, but there's a verse in the Bible that says that God knows and I'm not particularly religious person, but there's a verse in the Bible that says that God knows each hair on each of our heads, right? Is it understanding each of us is special and has a special voice and a special mission, but we have

to just believe in that and understand what that is, but be honest with ourselves. Not, hey, I'm going to do X to make this dollar. Or if you are, be honest about that. Right. Cool. Or, Hey, I'm going to do X so I can get this attention. Like, it's just about understanding why you're doing things. And sometimes like, for example, I do photo shoots that I know why I'm doing it. It's to get attention and certain jobs it's to get money. Right. Right. But be clear and be honest, because if you're not, then you don't, you lose control and you don't really know why you're doing things. And then you don't, you lose yourself. You got to be straight up. So I think it's, it's that too, but creating a really good environment. And when you feel scared

and you doubt, know that that's part of being a human and having a safe place. No, have a safe place. It's like people who are trying to eat better and they blow it one day, get over it. It's okay. Tomorrow's another day. That's the great thing. You know, it's like, we don't need to wait to new year's to start over. You can start tomorrow. You can start over. Yeah. I love that approach. What do you think you were put on this earth to do? Oh my goodness. You know, I just hope, let's say, that I can be one small representation in that rainbow of things out there representing, you know, is it women or is it, you know, of that. That's like at least, you know, some alternative. Yeah. Because everybody's representing different things. And if I could represent the idea of let's try to take care of ourselves,

let's see if we can arrive at forms of happiness. Let's see if we can accept where we are in our life. Let's not be afraid of what's uncomfortable and messy about life. That's the other thing too. I, I, I'm actually not interested in perfection. I,

I don't find it interesting. I like when people are like, this is how it is. Real. I love that. Yeah. That's who you are. Very real. Yeah, because for me, I don't know what else there is.

And also, I don't want to pretend. Because then it sort of feels like time wasted. Yeah. Like that was just pretend. Yeah. So for me, I think that. And also, I want to be someone who you would hope, like if you're victorious, then I'll celebrate your victories.

If somebody very similar to me is killing it, I want to be able to celebrate their victories. Not be jealous or upset. So it's also... How do you get to that place? Because it's sort of like, what's the alternative? You know, it's just bad behavior. There's a Greek proverb, sorry,

that the blacksmith hates the blacksmith. Of course. It's natural. It's like they're similar and threatened. But imagine playing volleyball with a bunch of big, badass women, certainly faster, bigger, stronger. You learn quick to go, great. Thank your parents and your coach. And modeling. Girls who were certainly more beautiful or whatever your perception of what was or better body or better teeth or something better. You better learn how to go,

good for you. And then go, who am I? What am I good at? What am I doing? What's my voice? And keep moving forward. Because also when you're looking around, you're not moving forward. Yeah. So I would like to represent that for, I guess, females, obviously, first, because I am a female. And again, to encourage people like, how does it work for you? You don't have to do it my way. My way is my way, but how ask yourself those questions and kind of create your own manual. Sure. I like that. What would you say is your biggest superpower? If you had one superpower, I can read people very well. Quickly. I developed that very young as a kid because I needed it to survive. I can, I can get it off people very quickly. And what's become interesting is once I started getting a public job in my early 20s,

people were paying attention to me, and they didn't realize I was paying attention to them because they thought I was only paying attention to myself. And so they let their guard down. Sure. But I think, and I can't believe I'm saying it, and this is to remind anyone, your curse is your power, right, is your gift. anyone your curse is your power right is your gift is my size is one that has been one of the best things for me on so many levels i play volleyball because of it um but just even how i could i can move through this world it's natural protection yeah people treat me differently and

women for example they don't look at me as a threat or competitive because they actually deal with me more like I'm a guy. And so I can relate to women in a kind of a different, better way. But yeah, I think I can read. I can get a sense of people. That's why even doing high X, like I can see a person I know what group to put them in. I can just tell. That's great. Yeah.

Well, I don't know if it's awesome. It can be helpful. Yeah, of course. It's great what are your three favorite books right now if you were to pass on three books to people okay well i read the book oh my gosh i can't believe it's on my ipad sean acre the one about happiness yes is it called finding happiness yeah something like that yeah and i i recently read it and what i liked it what i liked about it was the science. Like you could do three things.

So somebody who has no means, let's say. If every day you thought of three things that you appreciated. Okay, I had a great meal, a great walk with a friend, and a great phone call. What you're doing is those neuroreceptors begin to ask for that information. Versus, there was traffic and this and that. Then your neuroreceptors start asking for that information so i love that idea um i did read and i'm sure laird said it i did read natural born heroes as well and i i enjoyed it and then i always said as a kid i read um atlas shrugged

and it sort of without getting you know heavyhanded, it sort of reminded me that it's not always as it appears. So maybe don't buy it. The only truth you know is the truth that's right immediately around you. So do the best you can with that. Instead of everything else that's around us, I'm not in control of that. I am in control how I speak to you and the truth that I'm living. And beyond that, it's kind of a crapshoot a bit. Okay.

Yeah. I asked Laird this, and I've been asking a lot of my guests this. Okay. If it's the last day and you get to write down three truths, and it sounds like you're already speaking about it, so I'm leading you to this. You've got to leave behind three truths and everything else you ever created yeah no one got to witness anymore okay here are the three things you know to be true from your experience okay or those three truths be okay uh well one is that that being truthful will always

is always the best idea just it's very's very simple. Even when it hurts? You're going to get there anyway, and it's going to be 10 times worse. Laird is the most truthful person I know. We joke because our daughters, our second and third, the middle one is like him, and the youngest is like me,

and she would have an easier time certainly being dishonest, the younger one, way more like me. And my middle's like, here it is. Laird couldn't lie if he really had to wow he just can't um and i know for as a woman i would say leave this especially to women men do this very well don't take anything personal you know it's not personal and we take everything personal and And I have really learned, and Laird has taught me this, living with someone like him, I've really learned that it's not about me, your bad mood, or

how you reacted, or the way you directed me, that it's over there on the left. It's not about anything. It's not personal. And I've said this before, but I think the notion of not being afraid to let someone else go ahead of you and to feel the enough personal strength that to let people, because in our culture now, it's like, I don't want to be taken advantage of. I don't want anyone to get a leg up on me. But allowing someone else to get there first is really, as long as you know what you're doing and you're working hard and you're on your path, it's not a weakness. And really, I think it creates flow. And I would do a fourth, which is to say yes. Say yes.

Yes, because yes, even if you don't end up at yes, yes can bring you down the path of discovery. And even if it's to go to the next. But when you say no, you don't even begin the journey. And so I think saying yes to positive things. Sure. That's great. Okay.

I've got one final question. Okay. But where should one final question. Okay. But where should we direct people to? Where should they go find more about you? What's the main site, social media, the main thing that you're excited about online? Oh, yeah, online. Can we do that universal truth?

Turn off your electronics. I'm just kidding. Oh, my God. No more Paris. Pick up the phone. Yeah. You know, my Twitter's at Gabby Reese and I have a website, Gabby Reese.com or Gabrielle. They both get directed there. And then, I mean,

high X is really kind of fun and exciting. That's cool. Okay. Yeah. Uh, I actually have two questions. Okay. One of the first is what are you most grateful for recently? I'm just grateful that my family is healthy. There won't be anything that ever goes above that. And when I think I'm going crazy and I want to choke their necks, the little ones especially, or they, you know, it's something, I just go, you know, they're healthy.

Because if you ever talk to any parent who ever has to deal with anything large or small about their children's health, there's nothing to talk about. Right. Nothing. So I'm grateful that we're healthy and they're healthy. And that's the thing.

That's why I'm such an advocate for this space because I don't want to have to lose my health to appreciate it. And I want to encourage other people, take care of yourself because the minute you aren't feeling well or you get touched by something that's a misfortune, that's all you care about. That's it. That's it.

Well, before I ask the last question, Gabby, I want to acknowledge you. I acknowledge all my guests at the end for what opens up for me from our experience. So I want to acknowledge you for your commitment to serving women and by being the example because you're so committed and grounded at the same time and loving. And there's not many women. I should take that back. There are a lot of women out there who are doing great things, but I think it's challenging for a lot of women sometimes to have their own identity, have a great family, have the career they want, the health, and the sanity at the same time.

And I really see from being here that you have it all, and it's really inspiring for me to witness it and be around your energy, and I just really acknowledge and appreciate you for doing that for everyone. Thank you. You're welcome. The final question is, what's your definition of greatness? That if you can get your external life to reflect who you truly are, I think from the inside, then there's a harmony

that maybe is part of why we're here. So greatness, listen, the greatest, maybe one of the greatest people I ever met was an elevator operator. You know, it's not about, like, money or notoriety or some level of achievement. It's are you true to yourself and does your outer life reflect who you are and your essence on the inside? Because that takes a level of courage and commitment. And also, it's just, I think anytime any of us can do that, it's sort of one of the greatest

opportunities, you know? Now, I think what your next movement should be, you want to hear what it is? Sure. See, I can't believe I don't have sons because I would have totally done this. I think you need to start being an advocate for men and young men because they, for me, part of being a successful woman,

if I choose to be in a relationship with a man, is having a group of men that are available to have that dance with. Of course. And I think we have young men that are not getting mentored, that are not being taught to be, in the good sense of the terms, the honorable sense of the terms, men. They've gotten shuffled around and confused.

And I think that that's going to be something that's really, really important in the upcoming years. Because, you know, Title IX is a genius thing, 1970. But in that, we've been such advocates for women, we've forgotten our men. And so I want to be an advocate for women, but I would like to be an advocate for humans first, of all kinds, whatever. Because what's happening is now it kind of went the other way and i think that um it's going to be culturally pretty tricky yeah yeah well i appreciate it thank you for the answer so let's go get on let's do it well i see laird doing that right now he's bringing this group of men together but this whole breathing thing is really grounding us and centering us.

I mean, from my experience today, I was like, wow, it's really connecting me to my truth. And Amy and I were talking about this. The really wonderful, noble traits of men are not celebrated. Honesty and directiveness, helpfulness, protectiveness. There's so many traits that we just, okay. But if men poke their head up, then we go, oh, well, we can bash men, not women, that kind of thing. And I think it's really important for them to get their voice back a little bit. Well, I'm going to work on that.

All right. Gabby, thank you so much. I appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. There you have it, guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode again please share this with your friends over at lewishouse.com slash 215 all the show notes

there more links ways to connect with Gabby more information about her and all that she's up to make sure to support her such an incredible human being and I'm loving everything that I'm seeing that she does online and all the things that she supports. So make sure to check her out. Give her some love. Tweet at her. Let her know you listened to this episode. Let her know

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