The School of Greatness - 258 10 Ways to Get Off the Couch and Into Greatness

Episode Date: November 25, 2015

"Results will come to you when you are ready for them." - Lewis Howes If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes and more at http://lewishowes.com/258

This is episode number 258 on the top 10 ways to get off the couch and step into your greatness. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome everyone to this episode. Thank you so much for joining me today. Very excited about today's episode because I've been on this book tour, right? I just finished a stop in Charlotte and I'm here all week for Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the US. I'm here with my family. So grateful that I'm with them because

I don't get to spend that much time with my family. And since I was 13, I left. I asked my parents to send me away to a private boarding school when I was 13 in Ohio, and I moved to St. Louis, Missouri. And so I've always been away from my family. And the times when I do get to come back, when it's a break, when it's a summer, when I was in school, Christmas, Thanksgiving, that's when I get to see my family. Because I've always been out chasing my dreams. I've always been out on a quest. I've had visions. I've been out on my quest. I went to Alabama to play professional football. I traveled all over the world to play handball. I moved to New York City because I had a dream.

I moved to LA for another dream. And I've been away from my family because of that. I go back and fly and meet them and I fly them out where I'm at. And I'm very grateful that I get to spend time with them. And the other night when I was doing a talk in Charlotte, and I was so grateful that so many people came out to say hi and support me and drove from all over the place, I realized that, you know, I had this opportunity to spend some quality time with my sister, Catherine. opportunity to spend some quality time with my sister, Catherine. And when I got up and spoke, I talked about how eight years ago, she really was there for me when I was on her couch for a couple of years trying to figure it out. And a lot of people said, how did you get to where you are from being on the couch? So this episode is talking about if you're on the couch, if you are from being on the couch. So this episode is talking about if you're on the couch, if you

are in transition in your life, then how do you get to where I'm at, right? Or how do you get to that next step? A lot of people ask me and I tell them, it's an eight-year journey. And I'm going to get into this in a few seconds. I'm going to dive into this 10 ways to get off the couch in a few seconds. Now, let's dive into this episode. Again, how do you get off the couch in a few seconds. Now, let's dive into this episode. Again, how do you get off the couch? I get asked that question always. How did you get off the couch and how do I get off the couch right now? A lot of people listening sometimes are in some type of transition and they feel stuck or in a transition, right? You lose your job or you sell a company and you're in a transition. You go through a breakup, an emotional breakup, and you're stuck on the floor. You're not even

on the couch. You're on the floor just trying to get up. Your parents go through a divorce. Someone in your family gets injured or passes away. You get injured. You know, there's these transitions that we face in life, and they happen. They're going to happen if they haven't happened yet. So it's important to see, you know, what is the process? And I want you to send this to a friend. I want you to listen to this closely and take notes because I've got these 10 steps that I recommend that I did myself, and I recommend when you're on the literal or metaphorical couch of your life in transition, feeling stuck, feeling like you're just not getting the results you want even. These are the steps you should be

taking. And if you know someone right now who's kind of stuck, who's in transition, who's just not getting the results that you know that they could be getting, or they're literally on someone's couch trying to figure out what they're going to do with the rest of their life, then please send this to them. Please send them to lewishouse.com slash 258 so they can listen to this. Now, when I was on my sister's couch, I felt miserable. I felt so miserable. I didn't feel like a grownup. I didn't feel like I could take care of myself I didn't have any skills

There was a kid that came up and spoke And asked a question the other night in Charlotte And he said I'm really terrified to speak in public And I don't know what to do next I'm in college, I have no skills And I want to be like you And I said listen man

You are in the perfect position right now. You're 22, 23 years old. I had literally, my brother was there, my sister was there last night and my brother made a comment. He was like, you know, Lewis couldn't speak in front of public. He was so scared to present in front of public. He didn't know how to share his message in a powerful way. He didn't have any confidence in himself. He didn't have any skills. He didn't have any tools. He didn't have any money.

He was broke living off credit cards because I lived at my brother's place for a while as well. After my sister's couch for a year and a half, I moved to my brother's for about three or four months. So he saw me eight years ago when I was just trying to figure things out in my life and I was trying to just make a buck. And he said, listen, you know, Lewis couldn't do any of these things. He didn't have any skills. And now eight years later, he's developed himself into someone who can get great results. And he said, listen, you can do this as well. And here are the tools that Lewis

is going to share with you. And I started sharing some of these tools. And the thing I told him is, you know, a lot of people want these results now. There was a couple of other people there who were in that similar position. And I was like, listen, you guys want these results now and you're not ready for these type of results. You're not ready to make a million dollars this year. You don't even know how to tie your shoes. How are you ready to make a million dollars, right? And they want it all right now.

They want the results. And I get that. I wanted money more than anything. I remember telling my mentor, I was like, man, I'm so broke. I'm so ready to make money. And he said, money will come to you when you're ready for it. And I was like, I'm really ready to make money. Like I could really use this money right now. He said, money will come to you when you are ready for it. And results will come to you when you're ready for it. The relationship of your dreams will come to you when you are ready for it. And results will come to you when you're ready for it. The relationship of your dreams will come to you when you're ready for it.

Imagine if you didn't have the emotional capabilities or the experience or the, just the stability, the grounding, the awareness to handle on a relationship, the business, the results, the money coming to you, you would just blow it. You would ruin the whole situation. And then you would be even more upset because you said, I screwed the best opportunity in my life, right? So you want to make sure that you are taking your time, right? This is a process.

Your life is a journey. Your business is a journey. Your health, your relationships are journeys. You don't have to have it all figured out right now. And again, I didn't have the tools, the skills, the experience. I wasn't confident enough. I had no clue how I was going to make an income for myself, let alone afford my own apartment. So when you're feeling stuck, when you're feeling in transition, when you're on your

sister's couch and you want to get to that next level, you want to get to that next step. Here are my top 10 ways to get off the couch and step into your greatness. And again, it's a journey. So number one, I want you guys to write this down, write this down. Number one, and I'm telling you, this may sound a little funny or lame or weird, but I'm telling you, this may sound a little funny or lame or weird, but I'm telling you, this is what worked for me. And you got to take a moment to look yourself.

You got to get off the couch first. This is step one. Get up off the couch and walk into the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. I want you to look yourself in the eyes and say, enough is enough. Enough is enough. Enough is enough. I'm going to make something of myself and I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. So you need to say that over and over to yourself.

Enough is enough. I'm going to make something of myself and I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. And I want you to write down in a journal after you do that until you feel it in your soul that you are ready to do something, that you're ready to stop wallowing in your pity and in your depression and in your, I'm not worthy enough and I don't have this confidence and I don't have blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When you're really ready to move on,

you're going to say this to yourself over and over until you feel in your soul that you are ready to take one step forward. But that next step during this process is you're going to get a journal out and you're going to write down in your journal who you are and what you stand for and why it's important for you to get off this couch.

So again, you're going to write down these things, who you are. So write it down. Who are you? It can be a few sentences. It can be a word. It can be a paragraph. It can be a page. Who are you?

Who are you? What do you stand for? I stand for X, Y, Z. Again, it could be a list. It can be a sentence. It can be a paragraph. It can be a page. What do you stand for?

And why is it important that you get off this couch right now? Get out of this transition right now. Get out of this funk right now. Get out of this feeling, this depression right now. Why is it important to you? It's important to me because my family depends on me to have better energy because it's important for me to inspire people around me. And right now I'm not inspiring them being in this funk. It's important to me because I only

have one life and this is not the way I want to live. I want to live in excellence. I want to live doing something fun and meaningful and powerful. Write it down so you have this in front of you and you can see why. There's got to be an important enough why that's going to keep you committed to moving forward as opposed to getting back on that couch. Okay? So that's step one. That's a long step one. Get in front of the mirror, say enough is enough, and then write down in the journal

who you are, what you stand for, and why it's so important that you get off this couch. You've got to connect with the why. Otherwise, you're just going to lay there on the couch depressed for years and years and never make something of yourself. And I don't want that for you. In the end of the first chapter of my book, The School of Greatness, I give a number of exercises as well on getting clear

on this process. So if you have the book, make sure to dive into that first chapter and go through those exercises. I'm telling you, those exercises will change your life. Whether you feel like you're on the path right now or you don't feel like you're on the path to what you want, it will change your life. Do the exercises. Actually write them down and take the time. You will thank me later. If you don't thank me and you don't get any value, then I'll give you your money back for the book. That's how powerful this is. So that's step one. Step two, make a list in this journal of 10 things that you love doing that make you the happiest when you do them. So again, just flip over to a new blank page and say list of the things I love.

And you're going to write down 10 things. I love to work out. I love to spend time with my girlfriend. I love to be with my friends. I love to watch inspiring movies. I love to hang out with my family. I love to take my niece on a walk. I love to cook dinner. I love to go to the mall. I love to dance. I love to sing. I love to play guitar. I love to salsa. All these things. Write down the 10 things that you love to

do that make you the happiest when you do them because you're going to start incorporating those 10 things in your life more so now than ever. You're going to start incorporating those 10 things in your life more so now than ever. You're going to start doing those things on a daily basis. The things that make you the happiest, that's going to continue to get you off the couch. When you focus on things that you love, you'll be inspired to go do those things as opposed to focus on what you don't have and where you're at in your life and how depressed you are and how you're broke and how you aren't where you wish you could be. Okay?

So number two, make a list of 10 things you love doing that make you the happiest when you do them. Number three, you're going to commit to a minimum of 60 minutes a day of working out. You're going to find something that you love to do in terms of working out. This could be hiking. This could be going on a run with a friend. This could be hiking. This could be going on a run with a friend. This could be lifting. This could be CrossFit, yoga, bar classes, dance classes, whatever it may be.

You're going to do 60 minutes and you're going to schedule this in your calendar every single day before noon. You're going to do 60 minutes of physical activity. I'm telling you, when I started working out, I started feeling better. I started having confidence. I started getting back in the groove and in the zone as an athlete, where I was in this athlete mentality, where I was like, okay, now I'm going to take on my life. If you are not working out because you say, I don't have enough time, or I need to focus on making money, then you are missing the point, my friend. You are missing the point.

Your physical health is directly related to your emotional health and your emotional well-being. And if you're not physically moving your body on a daily basis, and I'm talking in an aggressive way, if you're not physically moving your body in an aggressive way and sweating, then your emotional happiness is going to be low and it's going to keep you on that couch because you're not going to feel like you're active and you're alive. You're going to feel dead to the world. So you need to commit and schedule it every single day for 60 minutes before noon, a workout, some type of a workout. Okay. That is probably one of the most important things. for 60 minutes before noon, a workout, some type of a workout, okay?

That is probably one of the most important things. Number four, this is a big one. You're going to write a list in that same journal, and I recommend having a journal where you can track all of this. You're going to write a list of the five things that scare you the most in your life, five things that scare you the most. One could be being stuck on this couch for years. Another one could be I'm afraid of public speaking.

Another one is I'm afraid of salsa dancing. Another one is I'm afraid of skydiving. Another one is I'm afraid of whatever it is. Write a list of all the things that scare you. I'm afraid of my girlfriend breaking up with me. I'm afraid of being alone the rest of my life. I'm afraid of, write it down, the five things that scare you the most.

Now, you're going to look at the top three things. This is number five. You're going to look at the top three things and you're going to tackle those top three things that scare you number five. You're going to look at the top three things and you're going to tackle those top three things that scare you and you're going to master them. So for me, when I was on the couch, one of the things that scared me the most was speaking in public. I remember thinking like if anyone ever asked me to stand up in front of a classroom when I was in school, if they asked me to speak in front of my class, I would sweat up, I would clam up, I would shake, I would mumble. I wasn't able to focus. I was so

terrified of what people thought of me, that people were going to make fun of me, that they were going to think I was stupid, that I wasn't smart enough. I was so terrified that I allowed that story to run my body and control me and consume me from having any confidence. And so I said, okay, enough is enough. I'm going to become a master at the thing that scares me the most. And so I joined a Toastmasters club in Columbus, Ohio. And every single week, I committed to myself to standing up in front of the room and speaking for at least one minute. No matter what happened, I committed to standing up in

front of the room and speaking for at least one minute. Now it was about once a month where I gave a presentation to this group and I focused on that for a full year. Every month I gave a presentation and every week I got up and stood up and at least said something in front of the group for a year. And in the beginning, I was a mess. I was horrible. I was scared. I was terrified, but I got up and I did it every single time. And I set myself up in a situation where it was a, it was, even though it was extremely uncomfortable, it was a comfortable setting where people gave constructive, positive feedback. It was a loving space.

So you want to set yourself up to win. You don't want to just throw yourself in the, you know, with the sharks right away and where people are just going to criticize you because that's not going to be setting you up to win in a powerful way. You want to make sure you're doing things to overcome your fears in a loving way, to set yourself up to win. So if dancing terrifies you, then you're going to go join. You're going to take private lessons.

You're going to join a group class where it's like beginners as opposed to advanced. You're not going to go just jump right into the most challenging things in the world. You're going to start small. You're going to build some confidence, and then you're going to overcome just jump right into like the most challenging things in the world. You're going to start small. You're going to build some confidence and you're going to overcome your fear over time. Now, listen, I've been speaking now for almost eight years and I've spoken in front of thousands of people at a time and I'm still nervous at times. I'm still scared to speak sometimes, but I've gotten so much experience in the process of speaking and presenting that I've built the confidence.

I've built the courage. I've got the experience. I've got the tools that I can get up there and still be effective no matter what. Even if I'm scared or not, I can do it now. It doesn't control me. It doesn't consume me. So I want you to tackle the top three things that scare you the most and you're going to master them.

to tackle the top three things that scare you the most and you're going to master them. So you're going to write a list of five things and then in number five, you're going to tackle the top three things that scare you the most. You're going to become a master at those things. Maybe what scares you is putting your content out there to the world or having people read your work. So you're going to write every single day and publish it, whether it's a Facebook post or a blog post or whatever it may be. You're going to write and craft a message. You're going to post it consistently and put it out to the world and

get feedback. So you're going to do the things that make you the most uncomfortable and say, instead of allowing this to consume and control me, I'm going to become a master at this. That's what you get to do. Number six, you've got to write down a vision for yourself for three months, six months, and 12 months. You want to make yourself, you want to give yourself smaller windows to get victories and then a year long window as well. So three months, six months, and 12 months. So the three monthsmonth, six-month, and 12-month. So the three-month could be, you know, I'm going to give my first speech at Toastmasters within three months. I'm going to give my first speech.

And then in 12 months, it could be your 10th speech, right? You could also say, in six months, I'm going to save enough money to put a down payment down in the apartment, whatever it may be. You've got to give yourself these goals, something you can work towards. Because if you don't have a direction, if you don't have a goal, if you don't set a goal, then you're just going to be wandering around aimlessly, not knowing where to go. Wandering around aimlessly, not knowing where to go. It's like, you know, we've got the important thing of a GPS is it helps you to navigate where you want to go. If you don't have a destination, then you've got a starting point but no end point. What's the point then? There's no point in doing anything.

If you don't have a destination to go to, then you're going to be going on a road trip just driving around randomly around the country with no destination. But if you're in Los Angeles and you're trying to get to New York, you can use a GPS system, a map, a guide that'll get you from L.A. to New York. If you say, hey, I'm in L.A. and I'm not sure where I'm going to go, then you're just going to drive in circles all around, wasting energy, wasting gas, and being frustrated because you don't know where you're going. So you've got to get clear on what you want for three months, six months, and 12 months. Set clear goals for yourself. These can be simple. They can be big. It's up to you on where you want to go.

All I'm saying is you've got to tell yourself, where am I going to go in three months, six months, and 12 months? And you've got to write those down for yourself. That's point number six. It's important to write down what you want. And I did this and I did something called a certificate of achievement where I'd write down my vision and I would sign it and date it as if I was awarding myself a certificate by myself. And it would almost always happen on a specific date that I would write it down. So you want to get very clear with your intentions of what you want and be very clear there.

Number seven, you've got to find a mentor who has already achieved those visions that you write down in three months, six months, and 12 months, and ask them to give you a challenge with coaching. So you want people to challenge you. You want to say, hey, here's my vision. Here's my goal. Can you give me a challenge that I can tackle over the next three months, over the next two weeks? Ask people for challenges that have already achieved the same vision you have. So it depends on what your vision is. If your vision is to make $10,000, then you've got to find someone who makes $10,000 a month and say, okay, what's my challenge? What challenge would you give me in order to do this right now in the next six months or 12 months? If a challenge is simply to just get your own

apartment, then you can find someone who can guide you along that as well. Based on the vision you have and the goals you have, find mentor and ask them to challenge you and give you a challenge so that you can step up and start taking action to see results, to get that vision and make it come true. So that's number seven is to find that mentor who's already achieved it and ask them to give you a challenge on how to achieve that. Number eight, do something in the first 30 days to give back, give gratitude and give to yourself. So I'll say it again. Number eight, do something in the first 30 days, every single day to give back, give gratitude and give to yourself. So give back, find something every day to give back to someone else. That could be a group of people, the community, that could be your family, your friends, that

could be a stranger. How are you going to give back each day? It can be different. It can be the same thing, but you want to give back every single day. The second thing is you want to give gratitude. So every single day, you're going to focus on gratitude. What am I grateful for? Write it down, express it to someone else, what you're grateful for. Tell someone else what you're grateful for. Ask someone else what they're grateful for. You're going to be in that conversation every single day. When we come from a place of gratitude,

especially when we're down and out. When we come from gratitude, when we're down and out, we start reminding ourselves for all the good things we do have, as opposed to what we're lacking on this couch right now and what we don't have. So you get to really dig deep and think of all the things you're grateful for, because life could always be worse. And you have so much to be grateful for in this moment, whether you believe it or not. So think about what am I grateful for every single day? And then the final thing there is something every single day to give to yourself. Now, you have an obligation to respect and love your heart. Your heart is in a very weak space right now. If you're on the couch, your

heart is struggling. Your heart hurts. Your heart doesn't believe in itself. So you get to do something every single day that's going to build your love and your heart up. That could be treating yourself to a massage. That could be doing something that you'd love to do, like going to see a movie. That could be, you know, doing something like a guilty pleasure, even something that maybe isn't like the healthiest. Maybe you don't want to do it every day, but it's like, okay, one day this week, I'm going to give myself my favorite treat, my favorite dessert. I'm going to have this. I'm going to do something every single day that's going to fill me up, that's going to bring more self-love, self-care to myself.

I'm going to get a hand massage. I'm going to get a manicure, a facial, something that's going to give back to yourself. You got to fill your love tank up, okay? It's important to give something to yourself every single day. And maybe that's just a time. Maybe that's just time to meditate out in the woods or go take a walk on the beach or go swimming, something to give to yourself. This could also be the working out challenge, right? So number eight, do something in the first 30 days, every single day to give back, give gratitude and give to yourself. Number nine, this is a big one. You've got to feed your mind with positive books, podcasts, and inspiring videos.

When I am down and out, I will put on YouTube motivational workout videos and inspirational videos of like Eric Thomas, the hip hop preacher or someone else just like going off preaching and seeing these motivational videos of people from, you know, down and out who are like comebacks, like the underdog stories. I will watch that because it just fires me up. It gets me excited. It gets me motivated. It gets me feeling good about myself.

I'll also listen to podcasts and learn and grow. The most important thing you can do when you're down and out is continue to learn and grow and feed your mind with powerful information. Because if you're not doing that, you're feeding your mind with negative feedback. I'm not good enough. I suck. Why am I not doing this? But when you feed your mind with positive information, you'll start taking action. You'll start applying that positive information to your own life. So feed your mind with books, podcasts, inspiring videos. That's number nine. And number 10, number 10 for you to get off the couch and step into your greatness. Number 10 is to chart your results nightly for what you created and check in

every single week to see what's been working and what hasn't, what hasn't been working or what's been holding you back and repeat that every single day and every single week that you're going to chart your results every day of what you created and check in with what's working and what's not working. It's important so that you can see this over time. You have a log in this journal of all the things you're doing. And that way you can look back and you say, man, I'm actually taking a lot of action. I'm actually getting results.

And here's what is working. Here's what's not working. And I'm going to learn from this in the future. But if you have a journal, you can see it. It becomes like a workbook for you. It also like gives you this confidence. It gives you this momentum. It says, okay, every day there's a, there's a couple of new pages and I'm filling this book up with information. You could write down quotes in this book. You could write down the things you're learning from the podcast you're listening to. You could write all these things down and it becomes this journal of resources and information for you. And it's like you're taking a master's

class in life and these are all your notes from your master's class. And now you've got all this great information that you can apply moving forward. So you've got all this great stuff that you've just done over the last month or six months or a year in this journal, and that's extremely powerful. So these are the 10 steps. I want you to go to lewishouse.com slash 258 to share this with a friend and to check it out.

We'll have the 10 steps listed there, so make and to check it out. We'll have the 10 steps listed there. So make sure to check those out. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this episode. Again, these are some of the questions that I've been getting while on the road in my book tour, which I've got a couple cities left. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash events if you want to see me in Austin, Texas,

in San Diego and in LA. Make sure to come and see me for my final few stops. I would love to say hi and give you a hug and sign your books. But this is some of the questions that I get. So I thought that since a lot of people have been asking me this, that I would just share it with you guys on the podcast and really break it down for my top 10 steps to get off the couch. Hopefully this has been helpful and resourceful and inspiring and given you hope as well for a playbook of what you can do when you're in transition or if you just even feel stuck.

Maybe you're not on the couch. Maybe you have a nice life, but you feel like you haven't been able to break through. This could be something you go through as well and give you that powerful next step. So make sure to check this out back at the show notes, lewishouse.com slash 258. Also, you can go back there to learn more about my sponsor. Again, go to weartrim.com. Use the code greatness20 and you'll receive 20% off your order. I'm telling you, these shirts are the most comfortable shirts.

They're a little stretchy. They look extremely clean. Trim shirts are unbelievable. And they're for people that want to have fitted, nice, comfortable, clean shirts that don't baggy, that aren't baggy, and that aren't too loose and all this other crap that generic shirts are off the rack. And these are affordable and they're amazing. So go to weartrim.com, use greatness20, you'll receive 20% off.

And you can also go back to lewishouse.com slash 258 to get all the information, the link to how you can get to that website and check out their shirts as well. I'm telling you, it'll be the best shirt you buy for yourself. You'll just buy one of them and wear them. And I'm telling you, it's going to be your favorite shirt. You're going to wear it all the time, and then you're going to go buy more. So use GREATNESS20 for that discount code to get 20% off. Thank you guys again so much for this.

This has been incredible. Just getting over the flu. Again, I pushed myself to the edge a little bit the last couple weeks, and I haven't been sleeping much. So I'm just getting over it. You can still probably hear it in my voice a little bit. I'm excited to get back on full steam ahead. And I'm going to be in hibernation mode for a while. I'm going to be still recording the podcast.

But other than that, I'm going to be hibernating. So there's a lot of people who have been emailing me and mode for a while. I'm going to be still recording the podcast, but other than that, I'm going to be hibernating. So there's a lot of people have been emailing me and asking for things lately, and it's just going to be hibernation and recovery and giving myself the love that I need to recover over the next month or two. So I'm excited about some big things that I'm creating next year, I'm excited about some big things that I'm creating next year and I'll be revealing them soon, but I'm going to be taking some time to relax and recover and focusing on the podcast as well while I'm doing that. So lewishouse.com slash two five eight.

You guys are amazing. You're the best listeners that a host could ask for on any podcast. We hit over 1.2 million downloads this month alone. It's been incredible to see the spike and the growth of the podcast, and it's all because of you listening. So please share this with a friend because word of mouth is what spreads this the most. And sign up for my newsletter at lewishouse.com. Make sure to sign up if you haven't yet so you can get updated on all the behind the scenes goodies and everything that we send out every week for the new podcast and the

new gifts and bonuses that we give away. So check it out. I love you guys. Thank you for all your support in making this an incredible show. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. សូវាប់បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបា Outro Music