The School of Greatness - 288 The Starmaker: 7 Strategies to Empower People Around You to Shine with Chris Lee

Episode Date: February 11, 2016

"The key to success as a leader is to create stars around you." - Chris Lee If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes and more at http://lewishowes.com/288

This is episode number 288 with Chris Lee. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome everyone back to the show. Hope you guys are having a fantastic week,

whichever day it is for you. And I'm so excited about this episode. I'm bringing back Chris Lee. He's a fan favorite. And I believe this is number eight that he's been on the show now, which is kind of crazy. The most interviewed person on this show, you guys keep asking for more from him. So we keep bringing him back. And this is all about how to empower the people around you and lift other people up. We talk about why it's important to empower and uplift the people around you and how it's actually going to help you in your life and help you achieve your dreams when you make stars out of everyone else. We talk about how do you hold your team as powerful, the steps to that, and about the

acknowledgement process and what if someone else feels uncomfortable receiving and giving acknowledgement and also how to practice this entire process on a regular basis. Now, for those who don't know who Chris Lee is, if this is your first time here, he's a transformation coach, leadership coach, and emotion intelligence trainer. And he's been doing this work for well over 25 years and hundreds of thousands of people around the world have gone through his trainings and helped take their life, their business, the relationships to the next level. So I hope you guys enjoy this one. It's going to be powerful. trainings and help take their life, their business, their relationships to the next level.

So I hope you guys enjoy this one. It's going to be powerful. It's shorter than most of the ones we do. So without further ado, let's go ahead and dive in with the one, the only Chris Lee. All right. Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness podcast. We've got Chris Lee in the house. Episode number seven, right? Incredible. Seven times we've been on. This is actually technically eight, but you did a five-minute Friday. So this is the seventh full-length episode. And we'll have them all linked up on the show notes. And my eighth participation. That eighth participation here. I'm honored.

Eighth time. They were all here in the studio, right? Right here. It's amazing. So very exciting. Everyone keeps saying how you're their favorite guest, so we keep bringing you back. So every time we come on, we have to top the previous time. So we were debating what the topic was going to be, and we came up with a good one. I think you guys are going to all enjoy and appreciate. And we're calling this The Star Maker. What's the subtitle?

Seven Strategies to Empower People Around You to Shine. I love this. And for those that don't know who Chris is, he's a transformation and leadership coach. He's been doing this work for almost 30 years now, 28, 29 years, right? I started when I was 10. Exactly. He teaches workshops all over the world. He transforms individuals into leaders and helps them reach their full potential. And I do it all over the United States and Europe and Asia and also Latin America, which I'm very proud of. I work with the Latino community. I'm also on Univision Radio on a show called Maria Marin Live where it's based out of Miami, but it's heard all over

the country. Sure. And for more information, you'll get it on this podcast. Yes. And you also got a book that's either coming out soon or it's already out right now. And we'll have it all linked up on the show notes on how you can get that, but it's on Amazon. Yeah.

It's Transform Your Life, 10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity. Which spawned from an episode that we did. It came straight out of the podcast. The people's feedback was so incredible that I decided to create a book out of it. To create more exercises and content. Content exercises. It's great, yes.

I'm very excited. So I'll have it all linked up. And where can they follow you on? Where do you hang out most? On Twitter? Chris Motivador? I'm on Instagram, ChrisLee65, or Twitter, Chris Motivador. Or on my website for the book, it's ChrisLeeMotivator.com.

We'll have it all linked up here at the end. But today we're talking about star makers and how to make others around you shine and empower others around you to shine, I should say. And let's start off first by saying why is it important that we think about – because I think it's important to actually shine ourselves and actually become the best we can possibly be. Absolutely. And not dim our light in any way. Ever. Ever. But why is it just as equally important, if not more important, to do the same for everyone around you, to lift them up and empower them so they shine just as bright and maybe not brighter than you can someday? Well, I think it's the legacy that you leave.

When we think about our lives, our lives are brief in terms of space and time. And we have moments that we get to take advantage of. And every moment of my life is is a gift and I know that this moment I have an opportunity to shine at the same time I think it's powerful for me to create people shining around us and you do that Louis because that's why you do what you do and that's why what attracts us to each other is that we dedicate our lives to offering information and technology and offering tools that will have people shine. And think of the feedback that you've gotten during your book tour. I've been with you and people saying because of what you said or because of a guest on your podcast, my life has transformed. And so really what we're talking about is that,

be a star maker. And when I think about being a star maker, I think about my mission. My mission in life is truly to create superstars around me. And that excites me and that gives me more energy to pursue my own dreams. So absolutely, I'm committed to accomplishing my vision and my dreams, but there's nothing more rewarding than empowering other people. I'll second that because when I started this podcast, I remember thinking like, I don't want to just do my own show where it's just me talking all the time. Yes, I want to have a platform where I can share my voice and do that if I want to, but I want to create a platform where I can bring others

on who maybe don't have as big an audience and put their message out there to the world and let my audience know about them and be impacted in a positive way by them and make it mutually beneficial. So that's one of the reasons why I wanted to create this so I could have a platform to do that for other people as well. And it's, you know, without that intention of trying to get something in return, it's given me a ton in return. Of course. By building others. Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's one of the key principles to abundance. I talk about this in the book, which is the law of giving, you know, when you are creating stars around you, you're giving to people, you're being a giver, you're inspiring. You're motivating. You're evoking people's greatness. And as a business owner, those of you that own businesses that are listening to us,

the most powerful bosses are the bosses that have their employees shine. I don't know if you've ever been in a situation where your boss took credit for everything and everything you did was his idea, even though you came up with it. And then there's nothing that shrinks a company or that shrinks the morale of employees than a situation like that. And the greatest bosses and the greatest, I would say, coaches in the sports teams, when you hear the after the press conference, is when they take the blame for everything that goes wrong and gives the credit to everything that goes right to everyone else. Absolutely.

They don't take any credit when it's all, when everyone's like, oh, it was the greatest coaching game of your life. They're like, no, my players did all the work. They put in the time, the energy. Like I was just here to facilitate. Or those coaches that when they win a championship and they're like, well, I and then I and then I and it's all about I. There's no I in team. Then the team is feeling disrespected or resentful. Like, hey, we're the ones busting our butts here. There's no I in team. Then the team is feeling disrespected or resentful. Right.

Like, hey, we're the ones busting our butts here. Or like you're in a family or you're in a relationship and your boyfriend doesn't acknowledge you for anything. Yes. Or your girlfriend doesn't acknowledge you for anything. So I think that this topic is a lot bigger than we actually thought. I love it. I love it. It's truly about being light and inspiring the people around you. I like that.

So we've come up with seven strategies. Seven strategies. There's, of course, many, and there will be sub-strategies. But the first strategy to be a star maker is to get over yourself, to get over your own ego, to get over your own needs to look good, to be right, to be in control, to have attention for yourself. I think one of the reasons why business owners or bosses or boyfriends or girlfriends are afraid for their people to shine is they're afraid that A, they might lose credit and B, they might lose them. If they get too big, they won't like you know my friend gets too famous he won't pay attention to me anymore or my girlfriend becomes too successful she'll dump me or my

employees become too smart my boss might take me out of my job right so there's that insecurity or if there's a simple insecurity of you know how some people just like like to always look good yeah i mean who doesn't like to always look yeah but it's hard to yeah we like to always look good. Yeah. I mean, who doesn't like to always look good? Yeah. It's hard to – Yeah. We all want to look good. Yeah.

But if it comes to a point where we think that anyone else looking good has us look bad, that's a problem. And there's people whose egos are so big that they think that anyone else's light shining will diminish their own light. And that's the complete opposite. Or they just might be so insecure. It may not be a big ego. It may be just insecurity, right?

Yeah, it could be fear. It could be insecurity. Right. So get over your own ego insecurities. Be able to acknowledge if you know that you've got a barrier or an insecurity that you need to work on, work on it. But I want you to hear this. The key to success as a leader is to create stars around you. That is one of the biggest keys.

Whether it's success in relationships, success on a team, success on a business, you get to be a star maker. And one of the first ways to create stars is to identify and get over your own ego. So it's not true that of the people around you shine, it makes you shine less. You actually shine brighter. So that's the first step. First key. I love it. Okay.

Key two. Second key is to see potential and possibility and the gifts and people around you. What you focus on in life expands. If I see who you authentically are and the work that I do as a trainer, I have people walking in and the biggest breakdown of their life because they're going through either a transition or a transformation. And I see a lot of ugliness because people's dark side comes out. Right. And as a trainer, I need to see beyond that, see the diamond in each person, see the masterpiece in each person.

It's hard to do for a lot of people, right? Of course. But, you know, there's someone I admire and that is Mother Teresa, rest in peace. course, but you know, there's someone I admire and that, that, that is mother Teresa rest in peace. Mother Teresa always had a philosophy of seeing godliness in each person. So she had it, of course, in a religious context, but how I see it is see the diamond, the masterpiece. Every human being is born as a gift. I've never seen a baby, a child that was not beautiful. All babies are beautiful. All children are beautiful.

We were all born with that light. And over the years, darkness and guilt and pain, and we've talked about this on this podcast many times, how life's events have covered up that diamond. how life's events have covered up that diamond. And if you want to be a key star maker, you need to learn to see through all of the garbage and see past people's fears. And when you start seeing greatness in people, they start showing up great. Because I have a belief,

and this is something we've talked about a lot, is people show up based on how I choose to see them, not as they are. So if you baby people and make sure that they're okay and always finishing their sentences for them because you don't think they're going to be able to speak their voice or whatever it may be, then they're never going to be able to shine. But if you just allow them and give them the space and expect the greatness in them, then you create that possibility for them.

Think about it. I mean, have you ever been with someone who thought you were stupid and they were like, yeah, uh-huh, sure. And they were like cutting you off and, oh, please, come on. You know what you're talking about. Well, your own being starts shrinking. Yeah. And then I don't know if you ever had a boss that just cut you at your knees or a business partner that thought you were going to make every move that was wrong.

Or have you ever been in a car with someone who thinks you can't drive? Like, watch out! So it's like we create environments around us instead of holding people as powerful. Hold your team as superstars. How do you hold them powerful? Have you ever – sorry to cut you off real quick. But how many sport movies have we seen where that team was the underdog and it was because the coach was just really horrible with them? And there's that one maverick coach that came in and said, wait a minute.

These guys are winners. And then they would win the championship. And it was based on a true story. It truly is how you hold people. People will show up. Right. Yeah. And I think that it's a question of – I think you're going to ask me how do I do that.

It's a question of seeing the positive. Yeah. What if you don't see any positive in someone because they're just constantly creating negative results or they're just constantly messing up or they're creating this evidence that confirms that you don't believe in them? Well, you know what? Then what you do is you focus on what's possible for him. Maybe you don't see it in him yet, but there's certainly a possibility.

Sure. And then address, which is one of the steps we'll get to, address what needs to be worked on. Okay, cool. So step number two, once again, is see the possibilities and the gifts in others. the possibilities and the gifts in others. Hold people as capable. Hold people as powerful. Hold people as intelligent, brilliant, and beautiful, and awesome,

and they will show up that way. And I don't know about you, but I love being around people that hold me as capable. Of course. And inspires me. It builds up my self-worth. It builds up my self-confidence. And we all need that. Even Madonna needs that. I was seeing an interview where she was saying that she was in an environment of people that were negative and that it was hard for her to sing because she was seen in a negative

way and how being around people that love her inspires her. And so it doesn't matter who you are in this world. We all need positive reinforcement. Sure. Perfect. Okay. Number three. Number three, acknowledge the strengths that people have.

Like let them know. Give feedback. Be verbal about it. Appreciate. Acknowledge. Highlight. Highlight what people are doing right. Remind people of what is right about them.

I was saying that I always say there's so much right about you. Because as human beings, our tendency is to focus on what's wrong. We look at our hair, don't like it. We look at our body, don't like it. We look at our results and we're always conditioned to train ourselves what's wrong. You know, my ethnic background, my age, my financial status, my sexual preference, we're always in judgment of what's wrong. And most of the time when we communicate to our employees, it's to correct them on something wrong. But how often we say, hey, I just want to let you know that I appreciate you.

I want to thank you for being so amazing. Think about I've worked for so many companies. I rarely have I had a boss that was in gratitude about what I was doing. Usually it was no comment until I messed up. Then there was a comment about messing up. And same thing in a relationship. Very rare except in the beginning. In the beginning, it's me too, me too, me too. In the beginning, it's you're great, so I love you, I love you. But once the relationship is in that comfort zone, very rare do people remind each other of what's positive and what's amazing about each other.

And so acknowledge people's strengths. Acknowledge your family members' strengths. Acknowledge your employees' strengths. Acknowledge each other's strengths, assets, what you love about each other, what you appreciate about each other. Gratitude will create stars around you. I love it. Number four. Before actually going to that, what if someone feels uncomfortable giving, acknowledging someone?

You know, a lot of times I feel like the reason they don't is because they feel uncomfortable or they're. Go back to number one. Get over your ego. Okay, perfect. There you go. Yeah. I mean, that's all about you. Perfect.

If you're going to be a star maker and you're going to be a leader because leaders are star makers, you got to get beyond whether it's comfortable or not. Usually things that are worthwhile are out of our comfort zone. Right. Okay. Number four. Number four, acknowledge people's weaknesses. Let them know what they need to work on, what they get to correct, but do it from a positive place. Yeah.

From a, hey, you're so great, you're so amazing, and what I could see you could fine-tune is. Let people know what, because if you're truly creating a star, insanity is repeating the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. And so if someone's making a mistake, by you pretending it's not there, it doesn't make the mistake go away. So you get to acknowledge the mistake and in an empowering way, support them and let them know what they need to develop, how they need to develop it.

If you know how to support them, find, if not, find someone who will. But it's important to acknowledge what's not working as well. And I think that- To make them a brighter star. Yeah, make them a brighter star and to build a relationship in all relationships. Yes, I'm committed to you being a star. I focus on what's working in you. I let you know what that is.

But I also let you know what I think you need to work on and what needs to be better or what you could do more efficiently. Maybe everything is working. Yeah. But there's something even that you could add to have it work even bigger and be a brighter star. Right. There you go. Okay. That was number four.

That was number four. Acknowledge the weaknesses and the challenges. Number five, you want to develop your team. Develop the people around you with coaching, mentorship. Education. I've heard education, training, seminars. There's a book called The School of Greatness. I recommend it education, training, seminars. There's a book called The School of Greatness. I recommend it. You're in it. I'm in it a lot. Seminars, coaching, mentorship.

I think that developing myself and my emotional intelligence and developing my team and developing the people around me is a very powerful way of creating starts. A lot of companies don't invest enough in education or training services for employees. One of the things is I would hire a coach for the company. I would hire a coach for the employees. There is something that an outside influence could bring that those of you that are swimming in that same ocean won't see. I've worked for thousands over the last 28 years, corporations, some of the most important corporations in the world, where they are experts at what they do. But there's nothing like me going in fresh, no attachment to anything to be able to talk to the CEO, CFO, vice presidents, employees, and supervisor, et cetera, and get them honest feedback.

And developing team develops stars. It's not a one-shot deal. You've got to develop it. So coaching and mentorship, I've heard you say, hire a coach. Coaching is important. I've been your coach for a long time. You're amazing. You're the best at what you do. And there's always something that I'm able to provide for you that you're not seeing given my expertise. And the same thing goes with my book. I've never had a book. So you're supporting me, coaching me in terms of how to position this. So developing the team around you, mentorship, coaching, emotional intelligence, guys, that's one of the keys to developing stars.

As you develop your employees' emotional intelligence, you're going to create stars that are long-lasting stars. And everyone listening right now, a lot of them understand the importance of this because they've been listening to the podcast, educating themselves on a weekly basis, which is great. And they're sharing it with their team. I know moms that email me and say that they play this in the car with their kids listening. So they're developing stars in an early age from just sharing these episodes. So the people listening definitely are on track with that, which is great to know. Well, that's what's great about talking to your audience because your audience already

has an ear for it. Yes. And they're already in the mindset of entrepreneurship and development and they're always looking for growth. Yep. And it's important that you get people around you on that so like share this share these episodes share all of the what number is this do you know 280 something that's incredible lewis crazy 280 episodes that's crazy so that would be number five okay number six Number six. Number six, pay it forward.

It's not just about creating stars that are left with all the information. Have your stars create stars. How do we do that? Teach them how to empower people around them. Lead by example. When they see your example and they see that you're acknowledging of them and that you're empowering of them, that you're supporting them, that you're developing them, that you're giving them feedback,

that you're speaking about them and that they're speaking about you in a positive way. When they see your example, then they're going to want to develop stars as well and let them know that this is about paying it forward, a star that creates a star that creates a star that creates a star. Then we got an empowerment network. Then we got people that are focused on making an impact.

And the more that we give and the more that we contribute to the people around us, the bigger we become. So it's critical to pay this forward and to not only give all your information to the people that you're encouraging in my seminars, for example. I'll have 95 to 250 people. And yes, I'm committed to them and developing them and inspiring them, and I give them the tools. But one of the key tools that I give them is to say, now, share this with other people. One thing is for me to share the podcast that touched my life from the Lewis Howes podcast with you.

Another thing is for me to tell you or empower you to share it with everyone you know and have them share it with everyone they know. And that's how we create stars around us. I love it. So pay it forward. Pay it forward. That's number six. Number six. And number seven is practice,

you know, with practice and rigor and discipline and being, being, uh, consistent in this practice. And one of the ways we could practice is by appreciating the people around us. So I'm going to start with you. What I appreciate about you is your humility, your vision, your heart, your never ending relentless pursuit of making a difference. You use your life to empower people. And yes, you're accomplishing a lot for you. You're crushing it personally. You're making things happen. You're, you know, from the person I met over a year and a half ago to who you are today, it's incredible, the growth and the momentum that you've created in your life. But what I love the most about you is you're still Lewis. And you're still that guy that was on the couch that was wondering,

am I ever going to get off this couch? And that you're now using everything you have to make a difference in the world. And I appreciate that. And I'm excited to see you shine as bright as possible. And when your book hit New York time bestseller, all I do is cry of happiness. I appreciate it. Because, you know, I was working with you every single week and supporting you. And I'm just proud of you.

I'm proud of everything you've done, who you are as a son, as a brother, and as a boss in every area of your life. I appreciate it. I appreciate that about you. Thank you. And I gladly receive it. And I think that's also something that people should be aware of is to receive when people do practice this, when people do acknowledge. Because most of the times I see a lot of people who can't look someone in the eyes when they're acknowledging them or they're looking down or they're saying no or they're not accepting it. And I think it's just as equally powerful. You taught me this is the power of receiving acknowledgement as well as giving. So, and owning it. Yeah. And really owning it. I appreciate that. Yeah. So thanks for the acknowledgement. So practicing that,

I recommend that people do that with their friends, with their family members, with the people that are in their lives to just build the people up around them. And you're going to create a completely joyful atmosphere. I love it. Okay. So this is the, let's do a recap, a quick recap, the star maker,

seven strategies to empower the people around you to shine. And number one is to get over your own ego and your insecurities. Number two, see possibilities and gift in others. Three, acknowledge the strengths and assets that people have. Let them know what it is. Appreciate them. Number four, acknowledge people's weaknesses and challenges.

Number five, offer to coach and develop them mentorship, emotional intelligence. Education, yeah. Work with people to transform what they need to transform. Number six, pay it forward. Encourage the people in your life, on your team, to have that mindset of star making. And number seven, practice it on a daily basis. Rigor and do it yourself. I think it's important to let people know.

And sometimes it's not only hard to receive it, it's a challenge to give it. Right. Both. Yeah. So what do you recommend in practicing this on a daily basis, on a weekly basis, a monthly, whenever it comes up for you? What do you think is like a good? Because if I say every day, is it going to be as meaningful every week?

What do you think? Well, look, some of the ways we could practice it is one thing is with yourself, what you acknowledge and appreciate about yourself. Because being a star maker, you get to create the star in you as well. So saying it is good when you have an opportunity, when the moment comes, an employee does something that inspires you or you see that the employee needs like a pat on the back or the girlfriend would love to hear something nice from you, then take advantage of that. Gotcha.

So when the moment comes, I don't necessarily say that every single day you've got to saturate your people. I love you. Because then it may not be authentic. Then it's not real. Right, right. Another thing is writing it.

Handwriting. Yeah, when was the last time you wrote someone a note appreciating them? A couple days ago for me because I'm writing everyone who's helped me with my book launch, but usually not that often. Where's mine? It's still being written. I'm kidding.

But yeah, writing a note, a gift, giving someone a gift just because today is Tuesday and I want to give you a gift. Why wait for a birthday? Why wait for a birthday? Why wait for a holiday?

Give your boss a gift. You'll blow them away. Or as a boss, give a bonus to your employees or give them a certificate for dinner. Just small little details, little gestures is a way to practice it. I love it. Chris, you are always amazing and you always add so much value to the podcast. I want to ask, I don't know if I've asked you this question because I've had you on so much that I don't know if I asked this one, but I've been asking a lot of people. Did I ask you the three truths question yet?

No. So we'll do it now because I usually skip these questions because you've just been on so many times. So you've been on this the eighth time now, right? Is this the eighth time when we say? Yeah. Eighth time. You've got your book out. You've done these workshops for almost 30 years now.

And your message is out there to the world. Let's say this is many years down the line. It's your last day. And your book's been erased. All these podcasts have been deleted somehow. Everything you put out there content-wise is gone. And you're at your bedside and everyone there that you care about is there with you. And they say, everything's been erased that you've ever said, but we have a piece of paper and a pen and we want you to write down three truths of all the things that you've learned from all the people

you've met, the experiences. You've probably seen more and heard more things than lifetimes of people have seen and heard from your experiences and workshops. What would you say are the three truths that you know to be true about how to live an amazing life that you would write down on a piece of paper? And this would be like essentially your Bible for everyone to see. Number one, I matter. Number two, forgive. Number three, generosity.

There you go. Why those three are the most important things to you? Why do you think those are your three? Because I matter is something that we struggle with. It doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter where you are in life.

I've had the most successful people on the planet and people, the humblest people on the planet and people, the humblest people on the planet. And we just, as human beings, our existence is always a question and whether we matter or not. And then forgiveness has us be free. When I forgive, I'm free. And I stand for people mattering and being free and generosity back to the point of this podcast the more I give the bigger my life becomes and the more I contribute the bigger like the legacy I live that I leave is bigger so the more I give and the more I contribute

the bigger legacy I leave behind because I take nothing with me. Those are beautiful. Chris, I want to acknowledge you for coming on. Eighth time for consistently stepping up the game and serving in a powerful way for my audience. My audience trusts you so much and I trust all your wisdom. So thank you and acknowledge you for how much you matter to me and to this community. And I appreciate it. And your book is out. Make sure everyone goes and gets it. We'll have it linked up here in a little bit.

I'll tell you where to go in a second. This is awesome. The star maker. You are a star maker. I appreciate you. Thanks for coming on. Thank you. Appreciate it.

Thank you to all you listeners. Love y'all. There you have it, guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode with Chris make sure to go check out the show notes at lewishouse.com slash 288 and you can learn about all the stuff we talked about from today's episode also if you enjoyed this you can go check out some of the previous episodes that Chris has done they're all linked up over at lewishouse.com slash 288 make sure to share this out with your friends.

Let them know about this. Post this on Facebook and Twitter and LinkedIn and everywhere else online. Or just shoot an email to a friend and let them know that you enjoyed this specific episode. We've got some big guests coming up and also some big announcements. That's right. I'm going to be doing a couple of major things this year and I want to make sure you guys get involved with it. So stay tuned for these announcements and these incredible guests coming very soon. You guys know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. Outro Music