The School of Greatness - 3 BIGGEST MYTHS to The Law of Attraction: Manifest Your Reality

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

How can our thoughts and beliefs truly shape our lives, and what are the biggest myths surrounding The Law of Attraction? Rhonda Byrne, the visionary author of "The Secret," shares her insights on how... thoughts and beliefs can shape our lives. Rick Rubin, a nine-time GRAMMY-winning producer, explores the intersection of creativity and manifestation, drawing from his extensive experience in music and personal development. Jen Sincero, author and motivational speaker, delves into the power of words, the energetic nature of money, and the crucial role of resilience and self-awareness in achieving personal greatness.In this episode you will learnHow to effectively harness the power of your thoughts to create your desired reality.The impact of your spoken words on shaping your life's outcomes.Understanding money as a dynamic form of energy that reflects your life's intentions.Strategies to cultivate a resilient and empowered mindset for personal and professional success.The importance of self-awareness in modifying your thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs to align with your goals.For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1610For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960Full episodes featured in today’s mashup:Rhonda Byrne – https://link.chtbl.com/1525-podRick Rubin – https://link.chtbl.com/1536-podJen Sincero – https://link.chtbl.com/1492-pod

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to this special masterclass. We've brought some of the top experts in the world to help you unlock the power of your life through this specific theme today. It's going to be powerful, so let's go ahead and dive in. When you're in joy, you'll manifest so fast. It's a really high frequency and you will manifest really, really quickly. The thing is, if you're in grief and despair, it's very slow. Right. And that's a protective mechanism for all of us because I had one time in my life where I hit depression because I was extremely worried about my daughter.
Starting point is 00:00:48 And it was just like this black cloud and I thought, I have completely thought myself to here. I could see all of the scary thoughts that I believed and I am here now, here is where I am. And I knew I was here because to experience it so I could help people out of depression. And so- So no one else created you to get there. Oh, I did it. You created yourself.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Oh, yeah. I tried everything that I knew, which was to be grateful and to think positive thoughts. So I tried thinking positive thoughts. I could feel how weak they were. What do you mean by that? They didn't have a lot of power behind them. So they were like, I'm happy, but I'm it was strong. And so what I did was I decided to not resist the depression, but to love it. Tell me more. And it melted away. What does that look like if someone's going through three to six months of depression? So I had to imagine this. I had to create like a picture of this. But I kind of like I could feel the sensation of it
Starting point is 00:02:11 because depression is just a sensation. All of my feelings are just sensations and they're not actually us. They're just a sensation. But I would get that sensation and I would feel that sensation of depression. And then I just imagined putting my arms around it and pulling it into me. And that was hard to do. Not pushing it away or resisting it. Yeah, because that's what we do.
Starting point is 00:02:38 You see, we push away bad feelings because we don't want to feel the pain, right? We numb them. We try to escape from them. Exactly. We do everything. But I did the opposite because I knew what you resist persists, right? Yes. And so I just imagined putting my arms around.
Starting point is 00:02:56 The moment that I did it, it just evaporated, that whole feeling of depression. And then a couple of hours later, it started to come back. Not nearly that same level. Did it again in three days. Was totally gone. How long had you been experiencing the depression for? Was this weeks?
Starting point is 00:03:17 Was this months? It was like a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks. And if you would have resisted it or numbed it or tried to escape it. Yeah, I'd still be there. Really? Yeah. So what I'm hearing you say is that you embracing the sadness, the pain, the grief, the loss, whatever it might be, but embracing it and creating a relationship with it.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Yeah. As opposed to pushing it away. Yeah. Allowed it to flow through you and leave you. Yeah, it can't stay. Because nothing negative can remain in the face of love. Wow. Love is the light and everything negative you could say is darkness.
Starting point is 00:03:59 There's one way to look at it. And so if there's love, the darkness just disappears. to look at it. And so if there's love, the darkness just disappears. And that's why it just evaporated. It was the most incredible feeling. And I knew I'm experiencing this so I can share it with people. How does someone, I mean, the secret 34 million plus copies, you know, tens of millions of people have watched the movie, all the other books and programs and products that you have have been, you know, sold by millions of people have been bought these things. How does someone believe they are worthy of great things the way you have been able to do great things in your life and impact the world in such a
Starting point is 00:04:46 magnitude that you have done. How can someone know and trust that something is destined for them? Maybe it's not at this level, but something as great as destined for them. How do they know that? And did you know this your entire life leading up to this, that something like this was supposed to happen? No, I didn't. Really? No. But the moment I discovered it, I knew it. I absolutely knew it.
Starting point is 00:05:14 I knew this is why I was here. I knew it with every fiber of my being. Yeah. So, but prior to that, I didn't. I was really ambitious. Okay. You were driven. You had a that, I didn't. I was really ambitious. You were driven. You had a business. I was driven. But when I say ambitious, I was only wanting to perfect, be great myself. I wasn't in competition with anybody. I wasn't trying to be better than that person. I just wanted to be the best that I could be. And so I did it. But after I discovered
Starting point is 00:05:48 the secret and my whole life turned completely around 360, I look back on my life and I saw that every single thing in my life was leading to this. Really? Yes. Because just even things like I worked in a newsroom for a radio station and um and so when the secret went crazy like crazy and I just had every news media outlet in the world at us and i did very little and because i knew that what happens what can happen is that the media will build you up to tear you down wow and i knew that because i had worked in news and i'd worked in media and so i had seen it is that why you you did very you did Oprah and that was really it? I did Oprah and I did Oprah because I knew Oprah lived this and you see I didn't want to go onto anything where I didn't want to have arguments with people because I'm not trying to convince you to do anything I discovered something and I wanted to share it. And if you find that it's incredible for your life, then I'm so happy.
Starting point is 00:07:09 If you don't want to hear about it, that's fine too. So I didn't want to get into situations with people where they're like, oh, this is, you know, as if the mind can do this. This is all there is, is mind. You know, they don't even realize, like, it'll be hundreds of years before it is realized what the substance of the universe really, really is. But right now we can use this knowledge to completely create the life we deserve to have.
Starting point is 00:07:39 And what you were talking about, about being this great greatness, I think some of us were born to do something like this. But then there are others. And I think about this with my mother, right? My mother stopped working when she was like 19 years old and she had five children. But my mother achieved greatness because she was an incredible mother and she was an incredible wife. And so her level was different. And I think, you know, what you did or what I did, not everybody is prepared to take the risks. You took risks. Yes.
Starting point is 00:08:19 You can't do it without the risks. Yeah. I took huge risks. I put everything on the line i put every i would have been on the streets you know i i i like mortgaged overdraft i did everything possible to get the secret out to the world and i i didn't care honestly what happened to me after it i just wanted to get it to the world and that was it. And so you have to have, there's something within you that really pushes you. But then there are people that they might love what they do, you know, and they don't want to be running a company. They don't want the stress of that. They love their family. They want to spend
Starting point is 00:09:05 as much time with their family as possible. They just really love to have a better house. Or, you know, and I think, honestly, if you can live your life and you can bring joy to other people just by your presence, just by your presence. If you can do that, oh my God, you've lived the greatest life possible. You really have because every single person, their true nature is joy and their true nature is love. And that's why you feel so good when you're in joy. Right.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Right? Yeah. And that's why we feel so good when we're loving and being loving is smiling to that person like you did. You know, I'm opening the doors and I'm in a smile. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, you talk about kindness. This is the next thing on top of here. You just said kindness. We're in sync right here. We're in sync. Kindness changes everything. Want to see your life change for the better today then be the kindest you've ever been to every person you encounter when you do that it's hard
Starting point is 00:10:13 to have a bad day or you can't it's not possible that's why just do that you know like i'm like just do do that one thing and you don't take my word for it try it for yourself and just see for yourself what happens yeah I remember this person contacted us and really early on and he said he decided that he was just going to be happy I think it was a hairdresser and he said I'm just going I'm making a decision that I am going to be happy and I'm going to see what happens. And it was incredible what happened in his life. Got his own hairdressing salon and all of, just because he made a decision to be happy. What's on the happiness frequency? Everything that you want to make you happy absolutely you know so i'm
Starting point is 00:11:07 curious about after the secret came out and every news outlet in the world wanted to hear more about what you were creating well you do oprah which that you know blows up everywhere you you're time 100 most influential person in the world. You're selling tens of millions of copies within the first few years. This message was everywhere. You could not go into a store without seeing this book. No, true. How did you navigate the success and not let that weight or pressure break you?
Starting point is 00:11:47 weight or pressure break you because some people want the impact this the success but then they're not ready for it how did you prepare yourself and was that a conscious decision not to do a lot of interviews after that to not be picked at or try to be pulled down in certain ways like that was a conscious decision it was but like did you feel ready for the success do you feel It was a conscious decision. It was. But. Like, did you feel ready for the success? Did you feel prepared? Or did you feel like this was a little overwhelming? I never felt it was me.
Starting point is 00:12:13 What do you mean? I just, I just, it was the message. That was the star. Interesting. And I never felt that it was me. Like, even writing the secret book, I absolutely knew that and making the documentary. Like it was a miracle what happened making that documentary. The way everything that we ever needed just landed right at our feet. It was so spectacular.
Starting point is 00:12:39 It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen. And I just knew the universe, you know, just putting that in that most affectionate way. I knew the universe was with us. And so, and writing the book, it was the same thing. Like I felt such a rush in writing that book. I couldn't write it fast enough. All the things that I'd learned and practiced and I wanted to share with people. But you know, I had like, I got a burst blood vessel in one of my eyes. I had my feet got all cracked. All the skin on my feet got cracked from the high frequency in writing that book. Really? Yeah. Because you said you were telling me before off camera that you wrote this book in Santa Monica in an apartment just a few miles from
Starting point is 00:13:30 here. With my laptop on my lap. With your laptop in your lap in a small little apartment. Yeah. Were you on the beach? Were you off the beach? What was your environment like? Off the beach, it was a very simple little corporate apartment. The documentary had been released and I was writing the book. And I had, it was just the perfect situation. I knew exactly everything that I wanted to say. It was really just rushing through me. And because of the frequency you had, you know, so your your body was feeling my body really yeah that is fast and after it i was a wipeout you were
Starting point is 00:14:11 like exhausted you were like yeah energetically drained i'd energetically drained yeah and so then with each then with each book that i wrote was i tried to manage that more, you know, that I wasn't so wiped out. Now I can write a book and not at all. Right. Yeah. But were you a writer before this? No.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Do you know what? Was this your first book? The secret of your first book and you sold 34 million copies. That is crazy. I know, right? I remember when Beyond Words contacted me and said, we want you to do the sacred book. Well, I knew there'd be a sacred book because I'd seen it in bookstores in my mind all around the world. In the front window, I'd seen it. I didn't know what it looked like,
Starting point is 00:14:57 but I could feel the book. And I said, yes, I knew there'd be a sacred book. And I said, yes. Like, I knew there'd be a secret book. And I said, okay. And they said, and we want you to write it. And I said, I'm not a writer. And guess what? I heard those words. And I'm like, yes, I am. You switched it, yeah. Because I'm not a writer means that you will not be a writer, right?
Starting point is 00:15:26 And I'm like, yes, I am, because I can do anything that I put my mind to. Everybody can do anything they put their mind to. And so I wrote, and I was very specific. I wanted to write to people as though I was just talking to them and not, you know, any kind of incredible huge words or anything like that. I just, I wanted it to be super, super simple because law of attraction was a hard concept
Starting point is 00:16:04 to get your head around at that time. It's a lot, it's understood a little more these days, but. And this is, this is what I love about what you did because you first said you saw it in your mind and you felt the book in bookstores where you felt it. So you were connecting the thought, the visualization of what you saw in your mind and the feeling you had those two things connected it sounded like and this is where i think some people get wrong about the law of attraction or the secret is they you know you had those two things the thoughts and the feelings as if it was already happening but then you took action
Starting point is 00:16:42 you wrote the book you didn't just say it's magically going to like be in bookstores there had to be some action somewhere whether it was you or someone else yeah but i had the publisher come to me to say you're gonna write the book you drew it so i attracted that but do you know what with that book i honestly feel like i was just a stenographer you were just downloading it. That's why in answer to your question, how did I manage all of that? Honestly, I never, I just felt like I was the luckiest person in the world to be a part of that journey. But I know without a doubt the universe was just there.
Starting point is 00:17:21 It just, this had to come out into the world and it was there to help at every turn if someone is applying these principles and think they're not drawing in the person the publisher the the the right person to hire the thing yeah to support them in manifesting what they want does that mean they're not ready for that thing to come out into the world? Is it not the right timing? Because you could have wanted this 20 years prior, but it didn't happen then. It happened at the moment you were ready for it, it sounds like. So how can people let go of their frustration of really wanting something to happen now versus knowing
Starting point is 00:18:05 when it's the right timing for it to come into the world. Right. So the difference is just simply belief. So you have to believe you have it already. So if I explain what my belief was like, my belief was a notch above believing it had already happened. Mine was knowing it had already happened what's the difference between believing and knowing because one because knowing is the highest you can get and it's actually knowing is beyond the mind but believe but you canest with believing too. So I didn't just believe this had happened. I absolutely knew it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:18:51 And I knew it and I knew what it was going to do and I, how can I, it felt, I knew it so much that I felt like I had already lived the entire journey of making it and it coming out. And that I had such a great time that I was reliving it. Oh, that's pretty cool. That's how, that's how it felt. This is fascinating what you just said. This unlocked something for me. The difference between believing and knowing.
Starting point is 00:19:27 I grew up in a religion, the religion of Christian science, which is all about healing and applying healing thinking. And applying the mind to the material world. But really, there is no material world anyways. But one of the things that I would hear over and over again, when I felt like something was off in my life, or I felt like I was feeling a pain, or something physical in my body was off, out of alignment, we would have Christian science practitioners, spiritual practitioners, that would give us prescriptions. But they weren't medications. They were spiritual medications essentially right gotcha and it was and they were always called truths and they would always say know the truth they didn't say believe this they would say know the truth and when you know it it is true and
Starting point is 00:20:21 it is a reality and And it was hard. It was confusing as a kid because I was like, well, but I feel this thing and there's this pain, but how can I know it? But what I'm hearing you say is believing can really help you in a big way. But knowing is what unlocks manifestation into another level. Yeah. Knowing it's just done. I mean, there have been times for everybody when they knew something,
Starting point is 00:20:48 they absolutely knew something was going to happen before it happened. So let's say... And how do they know that? Yes. How did you know that? And you don't know how you knew it. It's like an intuition or a feeling or something, right? Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:21:03 You knew it. Like somebody is having a baby and they don't know what sex it is, but you're like, oh, I know it's a girl. I absolutely know it's a girl. And everybody thinks you're just guessing like everybody else. No, you're like, I know it. I know it's a girl. Or there's a spinning wheel and you all of a sudden, you're like, I know it's going to be number 11 i know it and it's number 11 but you knew it absolutely knew how does that happen yeah because it's above the mind it's above the mind so you you you definitely know it so that's crazy how so you don't have to be at knowing to manifest you just have to be believing and might i just say that you you just have to be more believing than not believing
Starting point is 00:21:56 so that person who's not you know they're waiting and it hasn't manifested and they're here and here the difference is they're not believing it is done already. What's your thoughts on manifesting and manifesting something you want and alchemizing it into the world? Do you believe in manifesting? Do you believe artists should be thinking in that way? What's your thoughts on it? I believe in it a million percent. It's something that I've experienced
Starting point is 00:22:35 before I knew what it was. So I, so when I say it's like, uh, I feel like it has to do with the purity of the intention behind what you're doing. If your intention is pure and you're doing it for the right reasons, it seems like things tend to work out. And that ends up being a manifestation mindset, but it didn't start for me that way. It just was like, I really believe in what I'm doing. I really care about it. I want it to be the best it could be for me. And I'm excited to share it. And the results have shown me that you can manifest
Starting point is 00:23:20 things. It happens. But I'll say when I do it, it's never based on the outcome. Ooh, what do you mean? I'm never asking for a result. What are you asking for? I'm asking to rise to the occasion, to make the best thing that I can, for the thing that I make to be great. Great is a vague word. I don't know what great means.
Starting point is 00:23:46 I came to realize recently what great means, but I didn't know. Most of my life I was aiming for great, but I didn't know what that was. And I've come to realize that great means it's a devotional, it's a devotional kind of greatness. It's a gift to the universe. It's a gift to God. it's a gift to the universe it's a gift to god wow if you're making if you're making a gift to god there's no greater uh you can't put more into it than that you know you can't what about the single what about what about what someone's gonna say who has anything to say if we're making a gift for god that there's you're putting all of your purest intention into this thing for the universe wow that's where it's at i didn't know that i came to realize that recently i again my word was greatness yeah greatness that was the
Starting point is 00:24:40 word of what i was shooting for but i've come to realize what it is. Wow. You have a whole kind of section about greatness and success in the creative act, a way of being, which I loved your explanation there. That is fascinating. So greatness for you, what I'm hearing you say, is a pure gift of yours to God. Yes. And it's a gift of yourself to God. It's like, this is the best I can do. This is my offering. This is what I have to offer.
Starting point is 00:25:14 If you think of a formula for manifesting as an artist, what would that formula be? I don't think there's a formula. Is there an art to manifesting? I don't think there's a formula. Is there an art to manifesting? I don't know. I think it sounds like a shortcut, and I don't think there are shortcuts. I think it's always a version of doing the work, of finding your way into what it is that the universe wants you to do, and then really dedicating yourself.
Starting point is 00:25:52 How do you know what the universe wants you to do and when to do it? The right timing. Because you could be like, I have this idea for this thing. Maybe it's the right time now. Maybe it's five, 10 years away from now. How do we really tap into that knowing? I think it's situational. And I think, again, if you're tapped into the universe, it tells you, it directs you. An example, I may have three different ideas that I'm excited
Starting point is 00:26:19 about and I kind of get them all going. And then one of them just seems to take off on its own. And one of them, no matter how hard I work on it, it never seems to come together. Can't find the right collaborators, some obstacles in the way. When that happens, I feel like it's the universe saying now is not the time. Interesting. I feel like it's the universe saying now is not the time. Interesting. Because, you know, I love this.
Starting point is 00:26:56 And I also hear the other side of the, I guess, the coin where, you know, I don't know if you know Ryan Holiday. Yeah, I do. The obstacle is the way is his kind of stoic philosophy of like when the obstacle is there, it presents itself. And you also feel like this is something you want to do like you've got to kind of go through that pain and then you know overcoming that is part of it i'm not saying to turn away from the obstacle but i'm saying when the obstacles become insurmountable consistently and there's another path right that's going smoothly and you feel the same about both of them. Go for the effortless way.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Well, pay attention. See when is the universe giving you a push? When is the wind hitting your sails the right way? There's something to it. I would never suggest not fighting through the work. It's grueling no matter what. It's grueling no matter what. It's grueling no matter what. That said, sometimes it feels like now's not the time.
Starting point is 00:27:57 It's like everything you throw at it gets deflected. Right. But this other thing is guiding you. Taking on its own life. Earlier you asked about what I perceive to be a shortcut and a shortcut is
Starting point is 00:28:16 how little can I get away with doing? And I think that the real question is how much more can I give to the thing I'm making? What else can I give to it? And thinking in terms of how much more can we do, not how much less can we do. It's not about shortcuts.
Starting point is 00:28:41 It's not about getting it done. It's not about a four-hour work week. I loved it right you know i loved it but that's not it's like whatever it takes for it to be all it could be um commitment and total commitment and dedicating your life to making the best things you can, whatever it is. Yeah. That's beautiful, man. So you think that as artists, we should be thinking about manifesting, but not in the terms of doing less, but putting the maximum into making it great. Doing anything that's within our power, it doesn't have to make sense. Nothing has to make sense. It could be, when I wear these purple socks, I can write a better
Starting point is 00:29:37 song. Great. Doesn't matter. Don't question it. Just do whatever works, do it. Is it really art if you're making money off of it? Absolutely. It doesn't matter. It's not about the outcome. That's what I'm saying. If you don't make money or if you do make money, that has nothing to do with the art. Art is the art and whatever happens after happens after. If you make something that you love, I know if I make something I love, if more people like it, that's only a good thing. Now, I wouldn't change a word of it for someone else to like it.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Do you know what I'm saying? It's like I make the thing I love and then present it to the world. And then if the world likes it, great. And if more people like it than less, better. Why not? We're sharing something we love, something we think is beautiful. So the more people who embrace it.
Starting point is 00:30:37 But again, I would never change it for anyone else because that's not what it's about. It's not about that. Right. because that's not what it's about. It's not about that. Right. With the artists you've worked with that you knew before they were global successes or their art, their music,
Starting point is 00:30:52 or, you know, was known by many, what did you see became their biggest challenge once they became extremely successful? Because a lot of artists, I would think, want their art to be liked and listened to by people. They want to make a living and more people like it. Typically, that's a good thing, typically. But sometimes we see artists who have this incredible rise of success and then seem to struggle with whatever, depression, anxiety, maybe the pressure.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Can I do this again? Will I be able to have these many hits again? What is the biggest challenge you see with artists becoming successful? Probably the biggest one is nobody prepares you for success. And you may have a dream of what it's like. success and you may have a dream of what it's like and you may think the success is gonna fill some hole you have in your soul and then the success and you work your whole life for this success that's gonna fill the hole and finally you get the success and the whole is the same. And it creates hopelessness.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Wow. Because you're working towards this goal that's going to fix the problem. But the goal doesn't fix the problem. I would say, I can't say never, but I would say almost never fixes the problem. What fixes the problem for people? It's something else. It's something inside themselves. It's something inside themselves. So do you think success can almost hurt someone more than before they have it, after they have it? It just depends on the person's temperament. For some people, being famous is the greatest thing. It's all they ever wanted. And for some people, they become famous and it's the worst nightmare. That's not what they wanted. They miss their privacy. They miss their anonymity.
Starting point is 00:33:06 They miss being able to go and do whatever they want and not be singled out or pointed to or talked to. Or even if people are nice, like, it's a different, it's different. And no one teaches you how to do that. Or you want to, you know, go do something with your family. And then there are photographers there and it's, it's very, uh, awkward. What, uh, what advice do you have for people that want to be famous? You know, success is one thing, but fame is another thing and they don't always happen together for someone that wants to be famous.
Starting point is 00:33:41 What advice would you have for them? I don't know. I would say I would look at why that is. I would maybe see, you know, consider therapy. Right. Have you ever done therapy yourself? I've done, yeah, I've done all kinds of therapy. What has been the biggest lesson you learned through therapy for you? Um, I learned how to express my feelings clearly. Like, um, when I, the first time I went to therapy, I didn't even know how to talk. I didn't know how I felt about anything.
Starting point is 00:34:08 How old were you then? Maybe 26. So you learned how to express your feelings then? Yes. And to not only, yes, express them, but also to actually feel them in myself, to understand, not just feel like blocked off or frustrated or like what's beneath it, what's actually going on. And what is the biggest lessons that meditation or meditation practices has provided for you? It provides a quiet space where the chatter, you realize that your thoughts are not you and that left to your own devices,
Starting point is 00:34:51 there'll be a lot of voices in your head just going all the time and they're not you and they don't mean anything and they're really repetitious and they're not working in your best interest. So if your thoughts aren't you, then what are you? I suppose you are the unchanging part of yourself that's always there from probably from the time you're born until the time you die, and maybe before and after. It's the, it's what's really inside. It's not, it's not changeable. It's what you came with.
Starting point is 00:35:45 It's not the, it's not the, uh, the thinking mind. It's almost being the observer of the thoughts. The one who sees the thoughts. That sounds right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:56 Observing. Thank you. Yeah. That's what I was hearing you say. Um, when do you feel the most loved Rick? I would say in general, I feel loved. It's an, it's a good feeling. Like I feel, I feel spiritually connected and that's a,
Starting point is 00:36:16 that gives me a great feeling of peace. Where do you think you'd be in your life if you weren't a meditator? And where do you think you'd be if you allowed yourself to play with drugs and alcohol? Yeah, I can't really predict. I would say meditation. Without meditation, I don't know who I would be. It's such a big part of who I am. Informed so many, everything. My understanding of the world is based on learning to meditate when I was young. So I don't know who I would
Starting point is 00:36:57 be without that. Do you think you would have as much internal harmony and peace and external success without meditation? No, certainly not internal peace. I don't know about success. I wanted to ask you a question about comparison. You mentioned the NBA basketball player needing to post more on social media based on what their team or the coaches, or maybe not the coaches, but maybe the general managers wanted them to do. team or the coaches or maybe not the coaches, but maybe the general managers wanted them to do with, with artists. I see a lot of people competing and comparison being in comparison versus just sharing their truths in an authentic way. And sometimes on social media, people are vulnerable because it gets attention and then they're over vulnerable and then that becomes a game, uh, in itself, but in a world where everything is oversaturated seeming, uh, and there is a lot of competition for attention. How can an artist stay true to their inner voice
Starting point is 00:37:59 and not be in comparison, but be willing to collaborate and also see success in others and be okay with it. Yeah, I think staying out of it, you know, like not participating in that game. That's someone else's game. That's someone else's game. I would suggest play your own game. I can remember having a conversation with one of the biggest artists in the world who described an album that they were gonna make. And I had just seen them play in a stadium
Starting point is 00:38:32 full of people screaming and crying. And it was not Paul McCartney. And the album that they were describing was one that none of those 70,000 people screaming and crying wanted to hear. It was clear to me. And I remember saying, that's not your hand. When you're playing poker, it's not, you can't just play any cards. You play your hand based on the cards you've been dealt so depending on the artist you are like gotten it'd be like there was a time I think when Metallica felt like we don't really want to be a heavy metal band we
Starting point is 00:39:20 want to be a pop band because pop bands were what's popular and we have reached a ceiling being a heavy metal band. That did not go well. That was a bad idea. They weren't playing their hand. They weren't embracing Metallica. And I think if you embrace your part, it's your best chance being true to yourself. Not saying, oh, well, those people over there
Starting point is 00:39:47 are getting popular doing this other thing. I don't really like it, but it's really working for them. Maybe I could try that recipe for disaster. So don't chase something that's not your hand. No. But it sounds like, correct me if I'm wrong, you know, the example I'm thinking of is like Lady Gaga came onto the scene doing, I guess, pop music and became very popular. But then said, hey, I want to do this more kind of jazzy, bluesy, like Tony Bennett thing. She was being true to herself.
Starting point is 00:40:16 And that's what I want to do. And I don't care if anyone likes it. Perfect. But it's what I want to do with this season of my life. True to herself. And it may lose money. But she was not doing it because I think people will like this. This is working over here.
Starting point is 00:40:30 So I'm going to try to catch their heat. She was not doing that. She probably knew people wouldn't like it. Only a small audience. She didn't care. Yeah. She didn't care. That was true to herself.
Starting point is 00:40:41 This is what she wanted to do. And she did it. Wow. Were you in touch with her at all during that season or? I can't remember if we talked about that. Yeah. I'm curious, but that's, I'm curious if she's just said, hey, I'm going to do this and this is my thing.
Starting point is 00:40:55 And for sure. That's pretty cool. Yeah. No, I love it when an artist does something unexpected, whether it works or not. You know, it's like it's, they're being true to themselves. Right. They get to be a better artist doing that. Whereas the other example is someone, you know, whether it's Metallica or whoever is
Starting point is 00:41:10 like chasing a bigger audience or something. Now, if that's true to them, that music, then cool. There's an audience there. Go for it. Yeah. But it's also something about staying true to yourself in terms of um if you come up making a certain kind of music and you get popular making that music a feeling of well this is all anybody wants from me so even though i don't care about it anymore i have to keep doing it that's a disaster as well right it That doesn't work. Who has been the most musically gifted artist that you've been able to work with?
Starting point is 00:41:50 Or maybe a few people that you're just like, they were so musically like talented and gifted. It was just. There've been a lot. Yeah. There've been a lot. I can say the first time I was in the studio with Carlos Santana and he started playing guitar, it felt like this is coming from another planet. Or John Frusciante, when he plays from the guitarist in the Red Hot
Starting point is 00:42:11 Chili Peppers, when he plays guitar, it's a transcendent experience. Spiritual. Yeah. And there's a drummer named Chris Dave, who's the best drummer I've ever heard. And no matter what he plays, anything he plays is the greatest thing you've ever heard. The simplest thing. He can make anything interesting just the way he plays it. Not the parts. It doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be, look at me. Just the touch, the feel, the tone is miraculous.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Something you said before is the only goal is to be the best version of ourselves is there anything blocking you from becoming the best version of your yourself moving forward i don't think so yeah i i wouldn't say i'm there right but i'm always striving always uh oh anything i can do to get closer, I'll do. Wow. Yeah, you're willing to learn something new. You're willing to try something on. Or change anything.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Right. What do you think is the best habits that an artist can have? That maybe you have individually, but also that you see in other artists? I would say dedication to the craft. Whatever their craft is, dedicating themselves to it, taking it very seriously, and being free to play in it. You know, like taking it seriously
Starting point is 00:43:34 at the time when it warrants being taken seriously, and having fun and being free in a play way to allow the thing that's worthy of being taken seriously to appear. Right. Taking it seriously and also allow yourself to play in it as well. Yeah. The play always is where it starts. It starts in this playful way where nothing is serious and there are no stakes.
Starting point is 00:44:01 And then through that, something appears. And then in order to get that into condition to share there's a grueling effort yeah take that seriously and sometimes it's sometimes you do a grueling effort and then you realize oh that thing that happened the first day that's the best version of it but you don't know that until you've maybe banged your head against the wall for six months working on it and then you realize you know? That first five minutes was the best. That was it. You can't know that until you go past.
Starting point is 00:44:29 You have to work past it to see this was the one. This is the best version. How often is it the first version is usually the best for you? I'll say the first version is often, if it's not the best, Um, I'll say the first version is often, if it's not the best, it's very instructive and holds a magic in it that is to be retained no matter what else changes. You know, a big part of it is just not screwing up what's good. Not messing it up. No, there are all these stories of, you know, the demos being better than the album.
Starting point is 00:45:02 It's easy to not know why something is good. You make a demo and you think, okay, now when I get the professional musicians to play it, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be that much better. Maybe yes, maybe no, we don't know. We never know. We never know what's gonna happen when we do anything. So to stay neutral and to keep every iteration along the way and be willing to look
Starting point is 00:45:27 back after you just spent months refining something to then say, you know what? It was better three months ago. Throw that all away. Wow. What was the book that really inspired you the most? The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Waddles. Yeah, that's a good one. I mean, not only because it's like this big, because I'm super impatient, but I mean, it's super cryptic. It's like, it's all about the universe being a thinking stuff. And when you impress your thoughts into the thinking stuff, it becomes real and material world. And I just, I just, it really, really, really spoke to me.
Starting point is 00:46:04 I've read it hundreds of times. Yes. Yeah. What was the biggest takeaway from that book? So happy you asked because I talk about this line all the time is to think what you want to think is to think the truth, regardless of appearances. So this is everything, right? So mindset is everything. So regardless of appearances, regardless of the fact that I'm living in a garage in an alley, driving a car with no grill, like those are the appearances, but to think what you want. And I think the want is so key too, because that's your, that's your authenticity. That's not like thinking what other people think you should
Starting point is 00:46:40 do and how you should live your life. To think what you want, the purpose that you were put on planet earth to live out. That's the truth. That is the truth. So your desires are the truth, not what's physically around you. Wow. So how do we know that we are in harmony and congruency with our desires? That it's for something not just selfish and self-serving by itself or ego-driven, but more, I don't know, driven by something greater, you know, because if someone says, well, I want to make a lot of money or I want to make a hundred thousand dollars in a year or 500,000 or whatever it is, or millions, how do we line up our desires with our authentic selves so that we don't hurt ourselves in the process of making money or become overwhelming, daunting, or draining. I think you always come back to, is it fun? Does it give me energy or deplete my energy? And does it have meaning? Those are the
Starting point is 00:47:41 three things that I'm really living my life by these days. And I think that if you're in alignment with those three things and other things, certainly, but those are sort of my big three. Is it fun? Does it give me energy? And does it give me meaning? Yeah. And is it meaningful?
Starting point is 00:47:58 Yeah. Is it meaningful? Yeah. I like that. Yeah. And where were you at 39 doing things that weren't fun? They drained your energy and they didn't give you meaning? Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I was a freelance writer, hustling my butt off. And then like when I really did the math, I was like, the amount of time I
Starting point is 00:48:13 spent hustling for this gig, and they don't pay that well, like magazine articles, come on. I was making like, I was probably losing money, quite frankly. So, um, yeah, no, there was, there was none of that. It was not fun. It was exhausting. It had some meaning, but you got to get all three, you know? Yeah. Or at least start working towards it. Cause you may not be able to at this season, but you got to focus on it. Can I, can I get one? Can I get one? And is it leading in the direction of something that is fun that is going to give me energy and has meaning? Cause you're right. Like when you're building a company or when you're doing something like it is exhausting. And, but if it's still exciting and fun and has meaning, then yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:52 It doesn't get to be a picnic all the time. When was the biggest aha moment for you then? Like, was it after you made a certain amount of money or a client paid you something? Or was it just a feeling you had had like releasing all of it in the process of working like when was that moment where you're like i'm actually emotionally and mentally free around the idea of money oh interesting um maybe i'm not no i will tell you no i actually did and i did put it in you are a badass i put it in one of them it was when i i had oh my god it was such a cool moment so because money is currency and currency is energy right so we're really gonna
Starting point is 00:49:31 get woo woo with the money like really shifting the mindset around money and i and bring me back to my story if i go off on a tangent because i'm about to go on off on a tangent i want to but i um money is currency and currency is energy yes money is currency currency is energy and I've had so many clients that have told me and it's happened to me too where they manifest when they get into the meditation and they start to raise their frequency yes and they focus on the amount the exact amount comes in from outer space that you didn't even think of and so my story is around that where I was working with my coach and we were really going to shift my money reality. She's like, what amount of money would be really great for you to make right now?
Starting point is 00:50:10 What would have a lot of meaning? I was like, $10,000 because I'm $10,000 in debt on my credit card and I hate being in debt. She's like, perfect. She's like, okay, so how soon are you going to make it? She goes, about a week, two weeks. I was at the time making like grand a year. And I was like, my God, if I made 10,000 in a week, that would be incredible. And I was like, but you know what? I got to do it in two days. Cause I know myself and I won't keep myself in that frequency. Like I'll lose steam and I'll decide that like, nah, it's not, I can't do it or whatever. Like I knew that the stuff would start creeping back in. So I was like, all right, 10 grand in two days. She's like, great. Okay. So how are you going to do it? And at the time I had this little online coaching business that I had just started coaching writers
Starting point is 00:50:51 and I said, I'll get three private clients, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then we're, you know, putting all the pieces in place. And then she's like, okay. And is there anything else? And I was like, well, you know, there was this guy that I was coaching years ago. He was my first private client. I was charging him like 50 bucks an hour. And I was like, I could also call him and see if he wants to work with me again. And she's like, OK, great. And we're still on the phone. And I check my email and he has written me.
Starting point is 00:51:17 I have not thought of this matter communicated with him in years. Email. He's like, you know, are you still coaching? Can you help me? When can we start? Wow. And so she's like, okay, here's what we're going to do. We're going to put together a $10,000 package for him and you're going to sell it to him right now. Holy cow. I know. And I was like, I was charging him 15 bucks an hour. I was, and I really adore him. He's such a special person. I felt like a greedy know, a greedy pig, blah, blah, blah, all the things, fraud complex, gigantic. Imposter syndrome. Oh, beyond, beyond.
Starting point is 00:51:52 And so she's like, and what we'll do is we'll put together a $15,000 package and a 10 so that the 10 looks cheap. And I was like, I can't do 15. She's like, all right, 12. Pain in my ass. So did a 12, sent it to him and literally wanted to throw up. I was just like, if he, because I really cared about this guy. He bought the 12. Holy cow. I know. You're like, I should have been in 15. I know, exactly.
Starting point is 00:52:15 I know. Well, here's the thing. It's not like he would charge you $12,000 an hour. Obviously, you created a position and a packaging of services that would over-deliver, that would serve him in a big way. Oh, yeah. I worked with him for five years after that. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:29 So it's not like, I'm just going to charge some number and give very little. Oh, no. You made sure that the value was there. Totally. How did you learn to package and position your value to be able to charge for what you wanted? My coach helped me put it all together. But then I had to rise to that frequency. And I'll tell you, when you're charging something that scares the out of
Starting point is 00:52:47 you, you show up with your A plus game. Like, and he did too. Like it was a lot for him too. We knocked it out of the park. Cause you pay attention to what you pay for. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Totally. You'll rise the occasion. Like I got to focus. Yes. I got to show up on time. I got to deliver the results on time. Absolutely. going to give my best here. Interesting. So now here's, I'm curious about the next thing. Was that everything to the story first off? I want to make sure I get it. Okay. Money is currency and currency is energy. I'm curious about the next thing. So once this happened and you sold a $12,000 package and you were like, this is crazy and this is more money than I've ever made in my life, essentially. And in two days, did you fall back at any point or did you stay
Starting point is 00:53:28 focused? Oh, interesting. Because sometimes people get an opportunity and they get excited and then, well, I tried it again and it didn't work. So maybe this is a fluke. Maybe this was a one time and the thermometer goes back down to what they're comfortable and familiar with. Very common. Very common. I did not, but only because I continued to get coaching. And I got bigger and bigger and bigger packages. I mean, I was paying six figures by the end. A hundred grand for like a year of coaching? Wow. So I just, cause I knew myself, I was like, I am rickety in this whole sort of wealth consciousness department. So I knew that I had, it's like getting a personal trainer. Right. So I just kept investing in the coaching and now, now I'm good, but I do still have to work at it. I mean, it's different levels. It's
Starting point is 00:54:14 different levels, you know, and it's comfortable at this level, but if you want to break through, exactly. Exactly. You've never done, it means you've got to have a different frequency still. Right. Exactly. You got, you know, yep. Oh, there's always more growth to be had. Do you feel like you're kind of at like a block right now? Because again, you've sold, you know, I don't know, five or 10 million copies of your books. You've got coaching program, you've got all these core, like success, financial freedom, all these different things. But is there like a level you've reached that you feel like, okay, well, can I break through
Starting point is 00:54:42 that? This is so much now and I feel abundant, but could you break through? If I want, if I could decide what I want the next thing to be yet, I'm still in that sort of incubation period of like, what would be fun? Give me energy and have meaning. I'm getting there. Like, I definitely feel like I'm getting there and I'm doing a lot of things that meet those requirements in the meantime, but it's not the big. What's your biggest, what's your biggest fear or insecurity around money right now? That I don't know what to do with it when I make it. Like I'm good at making it. My bookkeeper called me one day and she's like, would you please just open a savings account at
Starting point is 00:55:19 your bank? Cause I had like a million dollars in my checking account. This was a while ago. I finally got my, so I've hired financial plan. Like I've hired people who have grown up to know what they're doing with money, but like I'm teaching myself about it, but I find it boring. I find investing boring and confusing and out of my league. So luckily there are amazing people who know what they're doing. So I have finally gotten that team together. Gotcha. And there is a little tiny part of me, if I gave it any attention, that is a little scared it's all going to go away. Really? Yeah. But I don't, I'm not,
Starting point is 00:55:51 it's not that bad and I probably should not even speak it out loud. Right, right, right. Yeah. Well, you're being, you're being honest about it. I think there's one thing about speaking it out loud so it doesn't happen, but another thing about saying it so it doesn't have power over you. Right. Oh yeah. You know, it's like, if if you're afraid of it like you're afraid to have the conversation around money yeah i'm all believer like don't speak into something as this is you don't want to happen but i think you know when i started talking about my fears my shame and my security it actually felt like the poison was coming out of me and now i could see it outside of me or I could have a conversation with it as opposed to it being in me and afraid to talk about. Right.
Starting point is 00:56:28 And then I could get coaching about it. Right. And then I could, okay, let me create a game plan. Okay, well, I'm afraid of it, but now I have a coach to help me, you know, invest it the right way and whatever I need to do. Yeah. You know, so. Yeah. As opposed to ignoring it and just, I hope I don't lose it, but I'm not going to speak about it.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Right. That's a good point. That is a good point. Okay. I'll tell you another one. What's the other one? We're airing out my return to London. The other one is that I'm going to make too much of it and I won't.
Starting point is 00:56:56 And it is, it's kind of like the same as the first one, but I won't know what to do with it. Like I'm scared of it coming in too fast and too much because it's going to bury me alive almost. Yeah, I know, I know. Holy cow. And so this is like, so I- Bury me alive.
Starting point is 00:57:09 Kind of, yes. Why would money bury you alive? Just telling you what I, yeah. Well, this is the interesting thing, Jen. I think it's powerful that you're talking about this because there's different levels of insecurities or fears at the stages of money we make. And when I was broke on my sister's couch,
Starting point is 00:57:25 I had a lot of fear and insecurity and uncertainty of the future. And then I remember one day I made $6,200 in an hour doing like a live webinar selling a program. This was in 2009. Okay. Before there was like courses and webinars, all this stuff. Yeah. And I go, I'm the richest man in the world with $6,200. And I had to split that with the person who promoted this, this training for me, but I still felt like $3,100 in an hour. I go, I could do this every day for the rest of my life. Right. Cause I was sleeping on my sister's couch.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Yeah. But there was still, I'd never made six figures. And so there was still a challenge, like, how do I do this? And how do I manage it? And I understand it. And now taxes, what? All my money's gone. I just made money.
Starting point is 00:58:07 I have zero again. And this fear of like this tax thing. And then you get to the next level, the next level, the next level. And I just think there's different challenges or things we get to overcome at every level of money as well. Sure. Yes. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:58:20 Level new devil, right? Is that right? Yeah. So one of the fears is is will the money bury me alive yeah why do you think that is like gosh why do i think that is i think it's my insecurity about not knowing what to do with it when i had when i had very little of it i could manage it right that was easy and then as i started getting more and more and so i do have pieces in place but i've opened i've hired a new financial team so I can make, like build the nest and it will come. Cause I
Starting point is 00:58:49 was like, if I don't take care of this, I will literally block it. I will energetically block it. If I'm scared of it coming in and think it's going to bury me alive. Like that is not a abundant mindset, you know? So yeah. So I, um, i just created the nest so now bring it on universe right right so now you can you have you have a foundation for it to come in yeah yeah so it's not scary anymore because i know where it's gonna go yeah but i realized that i was just like wow i am kind of scared of it coming in too much i know it's interesting isn't it yeah i think it's fascinating i think we all get to experience at different levels how to break through. Otherwise, it wouldn't be interesting if it was just, I don't know, there's no obstacle.
Starting point is 00:59:30 What do you think are the key things that abundant mindset people around money do differently than scarcity mindset people around money? scarcity mindset people around money. If you had to say three or five kind of key things. They appreciate it. As you said, that, that is a biggie. They appreciate it and they speak about it as they love it. They're not weird about it. They're also generous with it because when you pinch yourself off from giving you, that is sort of a subconscious way of saying there's not enough to go around and it's not going to be I'm not in the flow so when you don't give generously it's because you're scared that it's not going to come in anymore um they take risks you know you got to take risks you are where you are because you've been doing what you've been doing so if you want to change your life you've got to do stuff you've never done um what else wealthy people they learn about money like you you focus on money like that was such a big thing for me too like when i was broke i
Starting point is 01:00:31 i never wanted to think about money right i was all about writing songs and you know doing much you know more noble things sure sure but then but when you're broke all you think about is money like i don't really think about money that much now that i have it like but every single decision you make when you're broke is about i have enough to pay for this exactly what happens if i don't right you wake up in the first thing in the morning in a panic because you got to pay your bills so you're always thinking about money so it is really just sort of getting in the flow with that and just you know being on good terms with it and and focusing on it and and you know how are you going to make it? Like being realistic about your income streams.
Starting point is 01:01:08 And, you know, if you want to make it, you've got to coax it in. Right, right. I'm curious about this. Okay, you're a starving artist. You wanted to do noble things, which are about art and making art and all these different things. What would have happened if someone would have said, Jen, you know what?
Starting point is 01:01:28 I love that you're an artist. I love that you have this, you know, passion for art and you want to keep doing this and this is the way you've been for 40 years and we don't want you to change. Here's a hundred grand a year for the rest of your life. Don't worry about money up to a hundred grand. What would that have done to you if someone would have given you a hundred grand a year and you would have just been like,
Starting point is 01:01:50 okay, I'm going to write and do whatever I want. And how do you think it would have been mentally, emotionally, spiritually versus you having to risk emotionally, mentally, you getting to heal, let go, overcome, challenge yourself into asking for money and to becoming something greater than that limiting belief. What do you think, what do you think it'd be now? Probably would have spent it on beer, honestly, back in those days. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't, you, you're absolutely right. It's an, it's an, it's a frequency, you know, it's like, it's like, You know, it's like, it's like, I don't know. I mean, I always, I always had, I guess I'm going to say gall. That's not the right word, but I did. I didn't do a lot of stuff that was pretty edgy and I pushed the envelope a lot. So I may have gotten there, but I don't think it would have been as exciting as it was to do it myself. Interesting. There really is, you do grow. And they say, starting your own business is the best personal
Starting point is 01:02:51 development course you can possibly take. Because all your stuff comes up, right? All of it. Relationship training, it's leadership training, it's inner child training, everything. Everything, totally. Every button is pushed. Totally. So it wouldn't have been as satisfying, I don't think. I think I still would have done it though, because that is kind of my personality. When I'm ready to change, I'm ready to change and I do it. Yeah, yeah. But I think it wouldn't have been as glorious and I probably wouldn't have written UR at bat, which totally changed my entire life.
Starting point is 01:03:18 It changed yours, but it also changed other people's lives. Yes. So it's who you become, the lessons you learn, the wisdom you have. Yes. To then be able to be of service and teach from your own experience. Yeah. The book about me getting a hundred grand a year just for being would not be that interesting to people. Right. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Right. That's interesting. Yeah. What has been the biggest lesson in the last 10 years? Because that was 10 years ago when you wrote, you were on Bad Batch, right? And you've written two or three books since then, I believe. What has been the biggest lesson, three books since then? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:50 What has been the biggest lesson in 10 years since You Are Bad to now, personally, physically, and financially? Oh, man. Let me think. Okay. The biggest lessons since I wrote you are about- Because when you get more money, more impact, more celebrity fame in an industry, people change around you. Some people don't, some people do. Right. You get to make different choices with your health. Right.
Starting point is 01:04:22 In positive or negative. Right. You have more abundance to do bad things or good things yeah and um you get to see how you show up emotionally spiritually that's such an interesting question you know i definitely feel like um since it came out and has had the success you know that i've gotten better and better it really this sounds cold but like not caring what other people think about me. Like that is something that I'm really dedicated to right now where it's like
Starting point is 01:04:50 the one-star reviews and the five-star reviews, you know, it's like, believe me, I'm so grateful anybody reads the book, but five-star reviews are the real dangerous ones, right? Where you're just like, I'm so cool. People think I'm funny and smart. You know, really getting good inside, like just being like it doesn't matter as long as I think it's good and I think it's funny and I think it's helpful. That's it. And so that has been really important to me because it is weird. I mean, I'm sure you do like people know who you are and it's like it's it's a little uncomfortable sometimes. I mean, it's great to like I love meeting my readers, but it's just like, I can't get too wrapped up in their opinion of me because it's about my opinion of me.
Starting point is 01:05:30 So that's been a really big one. So not letting the opinions of others be the opinions of you about you. Right. Yeah. Interesting. This really coming through. The high hype and the low low.
Starting point is 01:05:42 Yeah, definitely. Because you hear a lot about the low lows, like don't focus on the criticism, but you really got to watch it with the five star stuff too, bro. That's interesting. Because then if it goes away, you're screwed, right? You're totally screwed. I mean, that's why so many celebrities wind up in rehab, you know? Especially if you...
Starting point is 01:05:58 I always think about this too, that I'm so glad, for me anyway, that it started when I was older. If I was 20, and I was getting all these accolades, I would be such an idiot. I know. No way. I'm so grateful for all of it. My God. Okay. That's personally. What about this lesson financially? Financially, I guess I love giving money away. Like I didn't, I really honestly never thought I was that generous of a person, but I am. But so I'm very happy to find that out about myself. Cause I didn't really think that I was, but also that I, um, I was just making fun of this this morning
Starting point is 01:06:37 with a friend of mine that I'm still kind of cheap with myself in ways. Like I'm not great at like, I mean, I have a nice house house I have a nice car I certainly spend plenty of money on myself but I can just be like I'm not good at being rich and like getting room service and like right spending I'm just I'm still kind of you know the Italian immigrant's daughter who sort of pays attention so not that that's bad but it's interesting I have a little bit of that in me although in the last couple years i've started to learn how to take care of me like with travel and food and convenience and saving time whereas for i don't know the first five years of my business uh when i was making money right it's like not like i didn't have money but i was so afraid to lose it also that i was just stacking it
Starting point is 01:07:24 every time I travel, I would try to find who do I know in this town that I can sleep on their couch. Yeah. Isn't it funny? Because I was like, I'm not going to pay 200 bucks a night for a room. What are you talking about? I can use that money and I can put it somewhere else. And I was always like, how do I just get on the cheapest bus fare? How do I get the middle backseat on Southwest? How do I get the $39 flight and just sit there for six hours in the middle and just, you know, crammed as opposed to, you know, convenience and saving time and having my
Starting point is 01:07:54 health optimized and using it to do those things. But I was afraid to lose it. So I was just work, work, work to make it, but I was afraid to lose it for a while. Yeah. And also like the value, like I still, and I make make it, but I was afraid to lose it for a while. Yeah. And also the value. I still, and I make myself too, but I hate paying for parking. I would rather drive. And we're talking like $2 at a meter.
Starting point is 01:08:11 I'm so weird about that. I'm like- You'd rather roll on the block five times and try to find a free spot. Yeah, just waste gas, waste my time. It's so stupid. And I crack up. But I also have this thing where I'll spend 60 grand to put solar on my house, but I won't spend $15 on a wooden spoon. I'm just... Sure, sure.
Starting point is 01:08:29 It's just kind of funny catching yourself where you're... Well, I think there's a power in being mindful with your money and being, I would call it frugal, I guess, maybe in certain ways, but abundant in other ways. It's like be abundant in certain ways, but don't just overspend on everything because you have the money. Yeah, I guess. I know. So mindful of certain things. Finding whatever level you're at too. When you don't have money, you also don't want to be pinched off and stingy with it. It really is about, this isn't just two people with money talking about it. It really is about figuring out where you're at and how to stay in that abundance mindset
Starting point is 01:09:07 and in the flow and leaving an extra dollar when you tip or whatever, you know, but just really catching yourself when you're pinching it off. Because it doesn't matter how much we're talking about,
Starting point is 01:09:17 but it's that pinching off. If money is currency and currency is energy and you're pinching it off, that is not going to do well for you. Blocking it. What was the big lesson about relationships in the last 10 years?
Starting point is 01:09:28 Whether it be friend, colleague, intimate relationship. Yeah, you know that people are still really uncomfortable with money. And I do feel like it's being of service to talk about it freely and openly and joyfully. And it totally turns people off all the time and close friends. Absolutely. And but taking a stand and doing it anyway. And really, like, I kind of do have to, I have to be a little careful because it can be braggy. But again, like if I lost a hundred pounds and I was telling you about losing a hundred pounds, people would be happy for you. This is the same kind of thing. Like it's something that really is an achievement that helps me be healthy and happy. And why shouldn't I talk about it? And the fact that you're uncomfortable with it doesn't mean I shouldn't talk about it and sink down to your level. Right. So that's been interesting. And I have lost friends over that. Absolutely. Wow. It's interesting because we'll see, you know, on social media, these physical transformations of people.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Here was me six months ago. Here's me now. Yeah. And a lot of, you'll see a lot of people celebrating that, right? Like, congratulations. It's amazing. It's the encouragement. It's like, look what I was able to do.
Starting point is 01:10:39 And I'm so proud of myself. And I wish more people would do that around money too. Look, like I was $30,000 in debt and look at my bank statement now. Like I'm debt free and I've got a thousand bucks in the bank. Oh my God. You know, whatever it is. And I think Dave Ramsey celebrates that for people
Starting point is 01:10:53 in his, you know, kind of community where it's like when they get out of debt, he brings them on the radio show and they kind of announce it. But I don't see this on social media that much. Because that's a safe space because everybody's listening to his show is drink the Kool-Aid.
Starting point is 01:11:04 Yeah, yeah. You do it in the public space. You are going down. Yeah. Why is that? I don't really know. I don't know. I think about this too. Like, how did that all get started? When did it become such a dirty thing? I'm sure it has to do with some kind of control. Like some people wanted to control something. Right. I'm curious about, you know, if you're down to go there, about intimate relationships. How has making money impacted you intimately in relationship? I am definitely, that is my Achilles heel right now. It's been a little weird for me because I have stories around being a very successful woman and how that's not so feminine.
Starting point is 01:11:46 There's a lot of stuff on that. That's the new frontier, which I'm super psyched about. Figuring it out. Yeah. What do you feel like is the biggest struggle around that? My own beliefs around it. Totally. Come on now.
Starting point is 01:12:02 I know all this. It's all the same thing. But that's a, that's a deep one. And it's kind of a new one, you know, because, because I haven't been a successful woman for a long time. And, uh, so it's, it's interesting. Wow. Yeah. So is this like, you know, people just are intimidated by you because you have money or what is that? That's what I think that, cause men are supposed to be the providers and supposed to, you know, yeah, be the providers and to be more successful. And I don't really even care about that, you know, but I do care about somebody being at the same level of me spiritually and sort of just, you know, just with what they're into and
Starting point is 01:12:41 stuff like that. So that's really important to me. Interesting. Because that might be a block for some women. Like if I make more money, will I be in a great intimate relationship if I make more than my partner, right? Well, the way that it's set up anyway, that is sort of it, you know, that men and, you know, so I just got to find a guy who's either as, as who's, who's got really good wealth consciousness, who's as successful, who's totally out there. But it's my own story. It's always your own story. What would you coach another woman?
Starting point is 01:13:13 Who says the same thing. Or who's like, they've got a successful growing business or maybe they're making a million dollars a year in their business or more. Yeah. And they're like, man, I've been struggling because I haven't found a guy who's comfortable with me making this much. They feel like they can't add as much value to the relationship. What would you say to that? Well, of course, Lewis, I have had that client because the second you have an issue, that client shows up. I don't know if you find like every time because I'm doing this group coaching course and oh oh yeah like plenty of people in that group have asked me the very question so it's not super easy when it's
Starting point is 01:13:49 the well I know I mean I know the answer but am I like really gonna live it is uh watch your thoughts what are you believing about it what have you decided is true about you about your environment about the way the world works like it it's all your thoughts. Like if you keep harping on it's hard, he's not out there. I'm to this, I'm to that. Then that is the truth. That's what you'll manifest. You know, to think what you want to think is to think the truth. So that's true.
Starting point is 01:14:16 Yeah. So it's interesting because my, my girlfriend, I was telling you about her a little bit before she's extremely successful in what she does. She makes a lot of good money um and i celebrate it i'm like yeah awesome for me it feels great to have someone who's more uh you know energetically aligned or like more of an equal match even though my business does more than her business but she's making a killing right in? In her own way. And I'm excited for her. And it doesn't make me feel like I'm not able to provide as much with her making good
Starting point is 01:14:52 money also. For me, it doesn't affect that within me, but maybe 10, 15 years ago, it would have. Maybe I would have felt insecure or not enough because I hadn't worked on my stuff. So I think it's just finding someone who's in alignment, who's a good match emotionally, spiritually, psychologically as well, who's done the work and doesn't find it intimidating. Exactly. I find it inspiring. I'm like, wow. And here's the interesting thing for me, not to go off on this too much, but for me, something
Starting point is 01:15:20 switched in the last like five to eight years where I had this kind of morbid thought where I said, okay, if I'm with a partner and I don't feel like she can be resourceful and I die, can she take care of my kids financially? It was kind of a morbid thought, but I was like, huh. And I struggled in the previous relationships that I was in thinking, would they be able to financially figure it out? If they didn't remarry, if they didn't find another man to support them financially, if their parents didn't fund them, whatever happened, if we had kids, I died, could they financially be resourceful and do things that would make our kids proud of them? You know what I mean? And that's my partner now so it's
Starting point is 01:16:06 like she is financially resourceful and and creative enough to generate money if she needed to right but i don't need her to make any more you know what i mean so yeah yeah anyway something to think about there but um so that's one of your blocks right now one of your your challenges a temporary block yes you're releasing the blog. Yes. I'm just airing all the laundry here. When I leave this room, it all stays here. Yeah. We'll open the window so it goes somewhere else. Please get a fan. Yeah. What is the question you get asked by your readers the most that you wish they truly could hear and believe the answer to? Oh, so many.
Starting point is 01:16:48 Well, the one that I said about what do you do when the people closest to you don't support you? Another one is how do you keep the motivation? Like, you know, we go to these seminars, we read books, we listen to the podcast and we're all raring to go. And then a month later you go back and you're all passed. Exactly. Yeah. So. So how do you stay motivated on your vision and on your growth journey?
Starting point is 01:17:16 Well, I call it going to the spiritual gym and you've got to have a spiritual gym practice because you do not get to work out physically and then stop going to the gym once you're in shape. So just because you got in shape at the seminar or listen to the podcast or whatever, you don't get to stop doing stuff. So, and it doesn't, and you know, I'm going to working so hard to start my business. I don't want to do anything. So it's like, it can be 20 minutes, you know, you working out for 20 minutes a day can do a lot of great things. So it's like spiritual gym workout, meditate for 15, read a self-help book for five. Like what music are you listening to? Who are you hanging out with? What makes you feel like you could flip over a car? Like what are those things? And do them every single solitary day for 20 minutes. It's not
Starting point is 01:17:54 that big a whoopty-doo, you know, when you think about that it's going to change your entire life, you know? So, and take it as seriously as anything, because that work will make everything else that you're taking seriously and trying to achieve so much easier. And, you know, I'm giving a lot of talks right now. And the thing that I'm just so excited and I'm so excited to be speaking right now, too, because it reminds me it's my spiritual gym, right? Like we all need it. So but the thing about because we are spiritual creatures having a physical experience,
Starting point is 01:18:27 right? And if you, and like, instead of just giving it lip service and talking, yeah, yeah, I know that. But think about it. We are the universal intelligence that created everything that is. We are, our thoughts, our universal intelligence is stuff that created everything that is. Why are we not more stuck up? Why are we not feeling so powerful all of the time? If we're really going to believe it, if we're really going to go steroids on woo woo and go there and really like, if you thought about that all day long, about your thoughts being, you know, when you're in alignment, not the garbage thoughts that you think, but when you get quiet and you tap into your inner yippy skippy, as I like to call it, and you're there and you're in the flow, it's like, it's so exciting. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
Starting point is 01:19:20 Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

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