The School of Greatness - 306 Jenna Ushkowitz on Hacking Hollywood and Pursuing Your Dreams

Episode Date: March 22, 2016

"Leave your day at the door." - Jenna Ushkowitz If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/306

This is episode number 306 with Jenna Ushkowitz. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome, everyone, to this episode.

I'm so grateful and excited for you to be here right now to connect with a new friend of mine, Jenna Ushkowitz. now to connect with a new friend of mine, Jenna Ushkowitz. Now, for those that don't know me that well, I am a huge Glee fan, like crazy Glee fan. I would watch all the episodes. I bought a TV just to watch Glee. I was kind of a freak. I have an extremely gifted musical family, and I was never as good as them in music or singing. But I always appreciated the arts. And I appreciate being around other musically gifted and talented individuals. Just something about the passion that singers and dancers and performers have. It's just so inspiring and invigorating.

And it gets me fired up every time I see people perform like that. And Jenna is one of the original cast members of the show Glee, which was a huge hit for six years. She is a South Korean-born actress and singer known for her performances on Broadway musicals and for her role as Tina Cohen Chang on Glee. She is also a co-founder of an organization called Kindred, which is the foundation for adoption with a friend of hers named Samantha. And she wrote a book in 2013 called Choosing Glee. Now, I gleeked out big time with her in the first few minutes.

And we talked about what it was like working on the hit show Glee and how she actually got the audition and the entire process of making it on a major show like that. We dive into what it's like working 17-hour days for six years straight. And even if it's something you love to do and it's your big dream, how that affects your daily and personal life. Then we dive into dealing with a loss on the show. So one of the co-stars of Glee passed away about season three or four, and she talked about that process, the transition, how they were able to still show up and perform to their best and do their jobs, but grieve through the entire time as well, and what happened in the show after that experience. The actors and actresses process, being a career auditioner and what that actually means,

having the right mindset on set, being adopted in her strides towards finding her biological parents. Then we close it up with gratitude and how to choose happiness every single day. We cover a lot in here. I love this interview so very much. Jenna is an incredibly positive human being. She has got magnetic energy, and she's just a bundle of joy. So I hope you guys enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed doing the interview.

And without further ado, let me introduce you to the one, the only, Jenna Ushkowitz. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast. Very excited about our guest today. Her name is Jenna Ushkowitz. Good to see you here. Good to see you. Thanks for having me. I'm so grateful.

We were gleeking out a little bit before because most people don't know this about me, but I'm a huge Glee fan. And I'm sure everyone says that to you. But not many probably big jock dudes come up to you and say, I bought a TV just to watch Glee. Yeah, that's extreme. Right? But you'd be shocked between the tours, who comes out and says, and then you have the men who are like, this is for my girlfriend. I'm like, sure it is.

Right, exactly. Sure it is. You know, my family is, I'm the youngest of four. My parents were opera majors. They met at Ohio State. Okay. So you have like music. My brother is the number one jazz violinist in the world.

No way. He travels with the top jazz musicians in the world. And my sister is a singer-songwriter. So I grew up in a musically talented family. Wow. And I was forced to go to choir. I actually enjoyed it, though. I was going to say.

And then I did the musical play in my senior year. I was like, I'm going to go audition for this. What musical is it? It was called Seven Brides or Seven Brothers. Yeah. Yeah. It's a classic. Yeah. i was one of like the oldest brothers and i was terrified because i'd never done theater theater lines dancing on stage but you grew up like

singing and dancing yeah i mean but i was kind of like an ego jock like oh this is too i'm too cool for this type of stuff you know i just and just play sports. Wear the Letterman jacket. Exactly. Yeah. So I was a big athlete. That was my gift. But secretly love music, love singing. Like, I appreciate it so much. That's great to hear. And Glee was like, I started watching Glee. Were you a secret watcher?

Or were you a... My girlfriend at the time, we would watch it together. Okay. This was back in 2010. So, like, she made you watch it. No, but she was like, she showed it to me. I was like, this is amazing. And I was like, we got would watch it together. Okay. This was back in 2010. So she made you watch it. No, but she showed it to me. I was like, this is amazing. And I was like, we got to watch Glee.

Awesome. And I didn't have a TV at the time. I was living in Columbus, Ohio, and I bought a TV so I could watch Glee. Well, we appreciate that. Yeah. Do you still have a TV now? I do, yeah. I barely use it.

I mean, I watch Netflix documentaries. Glee is awesome. So it's like, I might as well throw it away. What else? Exactly, right? That's it. And too. So it's like, I might as well throw it away. What else? Exactly, right? That's it. And yeah, but it's amazing. And so you were one of the original cast members, right?

I was. Six seasons. Six full seasons. Two tours. Two tours. Yeah. Now, what was a normal day like for you? How many hours?

Where were you guys? We were on Paramount, on Melrose, Paramount Pictures, which is a magical lot. We were very lucky to work there because it's smaller, you know, like Universal and all of them are much larger. And this is really quaint and had a lot of movie magic, I felt, every day.

I've been on that set. It's nice. Yeah, it's amazing. And we had, I think, five stages over the course of six years. So it was all shot there. It wasn't like at a high school. Well, the pilot was at the actual high school, Cabrillo, down in Long Beach. So we would drive down to Long Beach.

That's where the big stage is with the black bottom. Is that where the auditorium is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. The auditorium. It was like the stage. And we would shoot down there um and then when we got picked up to go to a series they rebuilt the hallways and the choir room to look no way the

choir room was much smaller in cabrillo like half the size but obviously you guys grew and yeah and you have to have all the cameras and the crew and everything so it's it was five times the size of what it was and then we had the auditorium down there. They didn't build the auditorium until I think the second half of season one. So we would drive down to Cabrillo like twice or three times a week to go do the musical numbers down there. But then they built the set here. They did. So they built everything to look like it. We had a full auditorium.

That's crazy. It's just over here. A full auditorium. Did they tear it down or something? It's gone. I went back like a couple days full auditorium. Did they tear it down or something? It's gone. Oh, my gosh. I went back a couple days after we had wrapped, and they were taking it down. Wow.

It's just heartbreaking. Just like that. It brings tears to my eyes. It was so... I mean, we had so many memories in there and so many moments in there. I can only imagine. I mean, 700 musical numbers. 700? Yeah.

700. Oh, my God. What a dream life. That sounds incredible to sing and dance and just hang out with your friends all day. Yeah, I mean, in retrospect, it was, I was like, last night, I think, I was like, gosh, we had such a cool job. We had such a cool job. Is there a better job you could have had?

No, definitely not. What else could you have done that would be better? I mean, just just we had celebrities. We had John Stamos. We had Kristen Chenoweth. We had Gwyneth Paltrow. Did you have Britney Spears? We did have Britney Spears.

Yeah, right? Gaga? I mean, it didn't get better. Gaga was not on it. But you guys performed her songs a lot. We did lots of her songs. I did her music video, actually, and she's amazing. No, nothing better, actually.

I don't honestly. During that time, everything was like, God, I wonder... It'd be great if we could just do a show where there's no singing and dancing. But now I'm like, where's the singing and dancing? Wow. Yeah, we had super glee days. So essentially, on a super glee day, you would go to work at 6am on a Monday, 5am on a Monday. You'd drive to work in the dark. You'd go to a fitting in the morning to get your clothes set for the next couple of days. And because we had so many costumes, we had so many fittings all the time. It's not like, you know, where you go to Mad Men and they have 20 suits.

Right, right. We had like costumes. Different stuff. Like Lady Gaga style. Yeah, yeah. And then we'd go rehearse the scene. We'd shoot the scene for, you know, eight hours. Then in between, you know, sometimes they would have a van.

They'd be like, you have to go to the recording studio today at lunch. So they'd order you lunch. You'd eat it on the way. You'd go to the recording studio on like Highland, which is like 10 minutes away. You record your song. You have like 30, 45 minutes. You get back to work. You go back in hair and makeup.

And then at the end of the day, sometimes they'd be like, well, we have this musical number tomorrow that you have to learn. So we have dance rehearsal after that. So super clean days were the recording studio, the fittings, the shooting, and the dance studio. This is amazing. And you guys were constantly recording in the studio songs. Yeah.

I mean, like while we were doing one episode, they'd be prepping next week. It's unbelievable. Sometimes we'd have like 10 songs. I don't know how we did it. I actually don't know. I think we just blacked out and like give in to, you know, what you're doing because you realize what it is that you are doing for other people. It's the bigger picture.

Yeah. Yeah. But when you're in like a glee bubble working, we call it the glee bubble because you don't, we were working so much we don't see the effect that it's having on people. Right. So that's always like the nicest.

You're like, you guys were literally changing lives. That's awesome. I mean, I have to believe that you were in a big way. I mean.

Yeah, I mean, we have a lot of people because of social media and Twitter was just coming out at that time. A lot of people, the outreach of just,

you know, underdogs, we like to call them. So many, yeah. Would say like, thanks for representing me. You saved my life.

Like, it's heavy. It's heavy and it's a responsibility, but it's, it was wonderful. I mean, like I wouldn't change anything. It's unbelievable.

So jealous. I just love that you love Clay so much. So jealous. So tell me about the moment the audition process the experience of like hearing oh there's this new thing out called glee that they're casting for like yeah was it even a big deal like yeah it's like a new show tell me about the process and what were you doing before because i knew you were on Broadway for a long time. You got five hours? Yeah. Do you have five hours? I was doing Spring Awakening on Broadway at the time. And the casting associate in New York

casted Spring Awakening was casting Glee. We read the script. Pretty much our entire cast of Spring Awakening went in for Glee. And the first auditions, usually I think everybody had to sing and do the lines for the character. Sure. We didn't have to sing. We got the pass because we were already-

We know you can sing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're trained professionals. You're like, okay, cool. There's a nice respect. You're like, oh, thanks. I went in for Tina. She had no real description as to what she was.

It was Tina, part of the club. Was it even Asian character? No. No. It's like all my friends went in for that role, like white, black, everything. We just all went in for it. And she doesn't have a big part in the pilot. She has a line and she stutters.

So I literally had to stutter in my audition. And I didn't turn the page, so I didn't realize there were she stutters. So I literally had to stutter in my audition and I didn't turn the page. So I didn't really, there were two stutters. So I was like, I think it was doomed. And then the second one was like, what? So I missed the, what? They were like, okay, let's do the other one. I was like, what is it? I don't know. So I walked out of the audition. I was like, well, I didn't get that. Like definitely didn't prep right. walked out of the audition, I was like, well, I didn't get that. Definitely didn't prep right.

Definitely didn't get it. I got a call about a month later. So it just went away. That's what auditions are. You're constantly doing auditions. I call myself a professional auditioner. I got a call that the producers were coming to New York and they wanted to meet me.

They said prepare a song. So I had to sing a song. What song was it? Waiting for Life to Begin from Once on this Island. It's a rare musical. It's like not a very common musical and song that you'll hear. But people do use it for auditions. It's a good song. I went and I sang.

I did the We're Doomed Again. And then Ryan Murphy said, yeah, exactly. dude we're doomed again and then ryan ryan murphy said yeah exactly ryan murphy said um i don't know much about tina yet we haven't figured her out yet uh can you just improv a little bit um and so the first thing that like came to my mind was like well my mom likes me to do Glee Club because she thinks it's a good outlet for my stutter. And she had Tourette's at the time as well. They wrote her in with Tourette's. And so researching that too, I didn't want to make fun of her or fun of somebody like

that. I wanted to do a true depiction of what I thought that was. So I did that. And then they called me. That went away. It was like another like four. Month. Yeah.

It was another like four weeks. And then they said they wanted to bring me to LA to test me, which I had no idea what that was. And for people who don't know what that is, you go in for the studio of the TV show and then the network, all like the heads. And you go in a room and you just read the same things for them and sing for them. And then they get to decide. And there's usually like only two of you left at that point. Wow.

So they flew me out. It's like a big opportunity. Yeah. Yeah. Once you get to test, you know that like you're down to the wire. It could be you or somebody else. Let's make a break time.

Yeah. Yeah. Were you nervous? Were you scared? Here's the thing. At this point, I was definitely nervous because any audition, I get nervous a little bit. But I didn't realize the gravity of what a test meant at that point. Right.

So it was just another thing. Yeah. It's cool. It's like another audition, another callback. I knew like, cool. I did get so nervous though that on the plane plane I broke out in hives on my face. It went down by the time my audition happened. Cause I took a red eye after the spring awakening show when it got here in LA, they put me in

an intercontinental. I took a shower and then I went straight to my audition. So it was pretty, um, high pressure fast. You didn't really have time to think about it. And, um, I went in for them and I read and Ryan was like, I love that you just made her so positive. And I, in for them and I read and Ryan was like, I love that you just made her so positive. And that's just who I am. So that was part of like, I was like, yeah, I like her. I thought she was cool. And then they asked me to do in the test again, something like a little less

and just do as a stutter instead of Tourette's. So that was actually nice and relieving because it gives her accessibility to do more things with her all. And then like 30 minutes after my audition, I got it. I found out I got it. They said you got it. Yeah. They called me and I was actually with the other girl that I auditioned against.

So it kind of felt so bad, right? It's rough. But she was like, you know, this like adorable, like white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. And I was like, well, it's you or me. We know where it's not personal like it's one of us and it's just preference at that point wow yeah what she's doing now i have no idea we used to be facebook friends but then i got rid of facebook oh wow okay but i mean i'm you know she's a working uh theater girl so it was all good. Cool. We didn't know.

We didn't know. We didn't know at that point either what it was going to be. I just knew that it was a really cool script. Wow. You knew it was singing and dancing. Yeah. I don't know how much, though, because there's only two or three songs in the pilot. Don't Stop definitely

gives you chills. When I read it, I was like, oh my god, Don't Stop is coming on. How many times have you chills. Every time. When I read it, and I was like, oh my God, Don't Stop is coming on. It's the best song. How many times have you guys sang that song?

Oh, I don't know. Hundreds. Hundreds. No, well, the first time we shot Don't Stop Believin' in the pilot, it took us 75 takes

to actually get it right. What? Why? 75. It's figuring it out. All the harmonies. We've never done a big musical number.

There's crane cameras, and they have steadicam cameras. And so it's just about like figuring out a formula and how to get the best shots. And then after that, it was like, you know, it was like clockwork after season, you know, end of season six. Wow. Yeah. You're like, we know it's here. We know it's there. We know it's here.

And that's. Holy cow. Yeah. Yeah. So you get the part. You're excited. What are you thinking? Okay, I've got to move to LA now or what's... Yeah, I'd always wanted to move to LA. So this

was like the perfect excuse to be put straight into a job. You don't have to move out and then try and find a job. It was really hard for me at first because I left my entire family. I knew nobody out here except for the cast. And it was a small cast. It was four or five.

Wait, we had Kevin, Amber, Chris, me, and yeah, there's five of us. Right. And Corey. So six. But Corey came in later. He was in Canada and he couldn't get a visa. So we were rehearsing without him. And then we were like, who is the secret Finn?

We don't know. And then finally he came and he just completed the little group. We had a great time. We really bonded during the Don't Stop actually number because there's so much waiting around for the cameras to figure it out. So we would just play, sit in circles and ask questions and- Play games. Yeah. It was great. Amazing. Gosh. I'm so excited about this stuff. I'm such a nerd right now. It's such a time warp because I don't really talk about it a lot.

Really? Yeah. People don't ask me about it that much anymore. And taking a year, it's finally been actually a full 365 days since I've been away from it. Wow. You have to reset yourself after being in something like a machine like that for six years. Now, how did the contract work? Because there were six of you guys originally and so they booked the contract for like every

season, like this is going to be your rate or? Yeah, yeah. So basically when you, for TV, before you even test for the network, you have to work out your deal so that if you get it, your deal is already done. Wow. That's what you're getting. And they do it for six years is the normal.

Six years. That same deal. There's no bonuses. TV is six years. What if... I mean, you can extend. So then, like, say we did six years and say that we were all really happy.

The show was doing still really well. You get the chance to... They say we were going to pick you up for seven. Then you renegotiate your contract. What about after the first year, it becomes the number one show on TV, 10 million viewers every time. You can renegotiate. There's room to renegotiate for sure. We did renegotiate

I think after season two. I think it was season two going into three. You guys are working like 17-hour days. I know. It's wild. It's wild. It was great. I mean, like, at that point, we were doing so well that

the success wasn't the money. It was just everything else. You guys just blew up. I mean, we went to the White House. We sang at the Easter Egg Roll. We went to Oprah. We did Oprah the same weekend. We flew on a private jet from the White House to Oprah. The X to Oprah. We did Oprah the same weekend. We flew on a private jet from the White House to Oprah. The X Factor.

You did everything. Yeah. In the UK, we get to go to like, and we went to Australia for like, it's just a press tour. We didn't have to do anything

except go meet fans. It was, I mean, we got to travel the world. We got to go on bucket lists, you know, like private jets,

Obama, Oprah. Backstage, anywhere you want to go. Yeah. Meeting celebrities. You know, like private jets, Obama, Oprah, um, backstage, anywhere you want to go. Yeah. Leading celebrities. You know, like Johnny Depp's telling you his kid loves the show. You're like, what's happening?

Um, yeah, we were all pretty like, they were just like, what, what's happening moments every day, pretty much. Um, when we weren't working. Wow. The working was the, I mean, we had to remember, too, because of all the flashy things that were happening to us that it was the work that got us there. Stay focused. Yeah.

I mean, which is, we really didn't have time to think about it at all because we were just working so much. All day. Yeah. And it's like, we were having fun. We were laughing all day long. There were tough days, for sure. But, you know, by like hour 14, you're like eyelashes are coming off. Your hair is like messed up.

I have to sing this one more time. People are sleeping. We were like pro sleepers. We could sleep anywhere, just anywhere. Taking naps. Wow. Yeah. What was the most challenging process?

It was six years, right? Mm-hmm. What was the most – and how long would a season last for? Ten months. Ten months. So you had two months off. Yeah, but then we'd tour. So we'd have like four weeks, maybe like like four weeks before we go back into another season do you get the weekends

off at least yeah the weekends are ours but you work on 5 a.m on monday so your sunday night is not yours and you work till like 2 a.m on friday night so you know your saturday morning's not yours you're sleeping um and then sometimes we would have photo shoots on the weekends because that's the only time we could fit in it. Oh my gosh. You guys were like... I know. I think about it.

It's like so crazy to me because I finally had time to reset my day and my time is my own. And it's weird to think about it again that it really wasn't. And that's okay. I'm okay with it. I'm compulsive and I had to really be at peace with not knowing what was coming and be okay with the amount of time that we were going to be there. Because when you're on set, it takes as long...

They don't have like, okay, from 10 to 2, you're going to shoot the scene. It's from 10 to whenever it's done. Right. So your day can totally get pushed. You're like, this is taking forever. Things happen. You can't schedule anything later in the day. No.

You can't schedule anything at all. day. No, you can't schedule anything at all. Unless it's Saturday night after 2 p.m. Yep, that's mine. That's Jenna's. That's it.

Wow. So did you even have a life at all? Like, did you have a relationship during this time? I did at the end towards the season two,

three, season three and four, I think, and five. I was with a guy who was actually on a TV show in Atlanta. When did you see each other? On the weekends, I would fly to Atlanta or he'd fly back to LA. You would fly for a day?

24 hours sometimes. Oh my gosh. Yeah. You make it work. You're a machine. I guess it's like the only thing I really knew during that time. Wow. Yeah. It was pretty, it's hard. It thing I really knew during that time. Wow. Yeah.

It was pretty, it's hard. It was hard maintaining a relationship like that. Um, but you just, that's where your job is. And like to us, our jobs were our priorities along with each other.

Yes. Um, we both understood that. So that was, if you don't, it won't work. How was the dynamic with the cast and the crew? Was there a lot of drama?

Was it more friendly? Was it, um? Was it? Ups and downs. I like to say we're a family. We spent 365 days together. Oh, my gosh. You know the ins and outs. You know what makes them tick.

You know when to leave them alone. There are days where you're like, okay, I'm not speaking to you today. It's great. But overall, I think what made the show so successful was the chemistry of the cast. It was easier to get along than it was to fight. Wow. Yeah. It's just exhausting.

And there were fights. There were tiffs. There were moments. And the crew was so wonderful. And anybody on TV who will understand, those crews have families. Yeah. But they're just as long as you. Longer. Long who will understand, those crews have families. Yeah. But they're just as long as you. Longer.

Longer. Oh, my gosh. So, you know, I tip my hat to crews who do it, I mean, for their whole lives. I just, it's insane. It's thankless. But we had such an amazing crew. And they were so talented. And they would dance with us and sing.

It was such a fun set to be on. So, um, you know, we had, we were a big family. Uh, but it was, you know, there was drama and there was, um, it's just a lot of females. I have my, almost everyone on my team is female. So every now and then. And I really, um, I'm much more'm much more of like a male guy. Like I get along with men much better than women. I don't have a lot of girlfriends. But yeah, so it was like you just adjust yourself to being in this world that you're like thrown into. Sure, sure. But it was great overall. We still all hang out and talk.

Sure. What was the, if you could think back to one moment that was the most memorable moment for you? On set? Yeah, on set. And all this. How many episodes did you guys do? Over 100, 120. Amazing.

115, somewhere around there. Okay, so out of all those, from the first episode to the last, what was it? Maybe not on set, but just from the first episode to the last episode during that time. The most memorable in my brain right now is probably the last scene of the last episode. I still haven't finished the last season. Oh, well, the last episode makes me want to cry. Tell me what happens.

I'm not going to tell you what happens. You have to watch it. We do flash forward. We flash forward with like six or seven of us, which is great. I loved it. And then we also flash back. Did you see the flashback? No. We go back to the pilot. So we all have to get back into like our, you know, garb. Don't stop believing.

And yeah, and it's all the things you didn't see during the pilot. So all the scenes in between that got us to where we were in the pilot. It's great. I love that episode too. It was so much fun. It was nostalgic. You know, you're all like, what is that costume that you're like, I saw you that in six years ago. So wild. But yeah, the last scene we shot was Matt Morrison's song in the finale and he sings it to all the new glee club and then the old club that came back oh i don't even um and i have the um clip of it that i was watching the other day and i like it was just i just like wrote down because it's he's a great singer too amazing and him breaking down when you see a grown man cry like that it was oh it's the worst um oh my god and like we're

just bawling and we're not supposed to be like it's not the end of the episode we're shooting a scene that's like in the middle and we're all like a mess it's the last day uh matt's going around with you know ukulele like singing and looking at us and we're all just like leah is grabbing my hand so hard so this is like authentic this isn't acting this is yeah it was very real and And it's still like... Maybe I did see this part. Maybe I did see this. I'm not sure.

Wow. But I loved it. I loved it. So how many times did you shoot that scene? We did it like, I want to say like six or seven times he probably did that song. But the last one we were like, to our director, Brad Beaker, we were like, can you just tell us when it's the last one? Right. So you know that you can like... Just just so we knew we could appreciate like that was it and just like looking around the room I was like what's happening like that was the last time in that

room the last time yeah that you're gonna hear like um action and cut like on the show it was great though I love that that was was one of the best moments. What was the most challenging moment? There was one episode. Do you see Rocky Horror? Yes. So we did the Rocky Horror episode. Adam Shankman directed it.

He's a great friend. He's wonderful. We were in costumes, and sequined costumes. I was in tap shoes and a horrible wig. I hate wigs. I'm a terrible theater girl. I know we all have to wear wigs and I hate them. Um,

and it was like, I don't want to say we were on our like 16, like we were almost there and we were doing the time warp. And I remember like in between, um, this like huge number, you know, with all these characters and all this choreography.

And we had probably shot three other numbers earlier in the day and a scene. And I just remember like the tears starting to well, I was like, just want to go home. Really? Yeah. And like, there's a couple of people like who would never complain.

They would never complain. And when you would see them get to their point, you're like, this is bad. This is really bad. It was just the hours. It was like being in that place. And if you're having a bad day, just being immersed in that place

is the last place you want to be, but you have to be there. So you have to learn how to bring yourself back to a happy place. Right. Wow. Okay. I feel like I could ask you questions about the show constantly. We'll have to do it afterwards to save everyone who doesn't care about this show.

This is more for my selfish reasons. I'm curious. You were adopted, right? You were born in South Korea, right? I was, as far as I know. But you were there for a few months. Is that right? Three months.

I was in foster care with the agency with the foster mom. Gotcha. Until they brought me over August 21st, 1986, called Plane Day, when my parents got me a JFK. Sure, sure. best friend Sam who's also adopted. I was like, yeah, I just, it never, it was just a part of me. And like when people ask me like, tell me about yourself. I'm like, well, I'm Jenna. My last name's Ashkowitz. And I was adopted. And that's it. You know, it's just like part of

my little bio. Right, right. My life bio. Where do you think you'd be if you weren't adopted? On the rice paddies somewhere. And I don't know if I read this. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I read it. I don't know. I don't know if I read this.

I don't know if I'm going to skip it or missed it. But have you, have you connected with your biological parents? I haven't. Um, it's actually, I'll tell you an interesting story. Um, I grew up in New York with my friend Samantha and she was adopted as well.

Everything was all good and kosher and happy. We ate bagels and, um, she found out she had a twin sister that when she was adopted as well. Everything was all good and kosher and happy. We ate bagels. And she found out she had a twin sister. When she was 25? Yeah. Is this where I saw a video about this? Yeah. She would have been aware of it or something? Yeah, she didn't know.

But they found each other on Facebook? They did. And she's an actress. It's crazy. And he found the video and was like, why does that look like me? So she messaged her. And they are identical twins. That's insane.

Crazy. Anything is possible. So at that point we started a foundation. It's called the Kindred Foundation for Adoption. Kindred. And it's to aid adoptees around the world to give them something that we didn't have. We didn't have growing up. We didn't have anybody that represented us.

We didn't have anybody to talk about it with. And not that I needed to, but others do. And I'm finding that out very quickly. So we started the foundation and out of that, I was like, maybe I should do my search. These other brave adoptees are coming to us asking, where do I start my search? And I thought, like, maybe I should... You're like, I don't know. Yeah, exactly. Nobody knows. So that's what we're there for is to now start, you know, help them, guide them in the right direction.

Okay. So did you start your search? I started it. So I'd never really wanted to do it. I felt very fulfilled. I felt loved and supported my whole life. My parents are amazing. They're there for you.

Yeah. supported my whole life. My parents are amazing. They're there for you. Yeah. And they, I asked my dad, I was like, hey, I kind of like want to search my parents. When was this? About a year ago? Yeah, a little less.

And how old are you? My mom asked that. Yeah, I'm 29. It's in Wikipedia. Yeah, no, it's fine. I look 18, so it's okay. Exactly. So 29.

Yeah. So you didn't ask your parents or mention this until you were 29. Yeah. About who my biological parents are. Because people ask me all the time. They're like, why do you, you know, do you have five new parents? Like, birth parents? No.

You're like, eh. No. Okay. So this is like a shock to them. And we haven't really gotten in depth because I, you know, the search went on pause. But I asked my dad, I said, do you have my information from the agency that I was adopted from in Korea? And he did.

He also then decided to share with me that he heard when I was adopted from in Korea. And he did. He also then decided to share with me that he heard when I was brought over that my dad was in the military. And I didn't know which one. I don't know if he's in the Japanese military or the Korean military. I don't know. Because I did 23andMe, which you spit in the tube and they tell you your genealogy. And I'm 33% Japanese. And I thought I'd been growing up for 29 years thinking I'm a hundred percent Korean. Um, so that sparked something. I was like, Oh, that's interesting. That's something I didn't know about myself. And then, um, I started the search. They came back to me with all this information to fill out and I like freaked out and I know bad way. I just, I'm not ready.

Why not? And part of that is I'm so busy right now to process something like that. I just need more time. You're more busy now than you were during Glee? Yeah. Believe it or not, I've stayed quite busy. Between the foundation, between the podcast, between trying to get another job and like picking. I did two movies in New York in like September and November.

So like, you know, that takes a lot of my head space. Sure, sure. It's just a matter of like, yeah, I am. Which is great. What if this is the new job? I mean, part of it will be building the brand. What if it's a documentary that helps support the foundation and is the kickstarter for creating awareness.

I mean, 100%. Selling it to Netflix. Exactly. You know, the whole thing. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, definitely. I think it would be great.

I still need the acting because it feeds my soul in a way none of these things can. But I definitely, this is part of it. This is the in between that. Sure, sure. So it's the on off on off interesting but yeah so i paused and i said no i also like in my heart think for some reason i've always thought my mom was dead passed away um and i don't know if that's in my conscious at peace with her being away yeah or if she really is and I can feel it.

You know, they say like twins have feelings. So maybe I have that with my birth mother. Wow. I don't know. You never thought what they were doing?

I always wondered about nature versus nurture. I wonder where I get my musicality from because the home I grew up in was not the most musical. They put me in, obviously I trained my whole life, but they weren't in was not the most musical. They put me in. Obviously, I trained my whole life, but they're not very musical.

And they weren't in the business at all until I came along. So you were dancing and singing all day long? Yeah. I mean, they put me in when I was three. So I've been in the business since I was a tot. It's just like part of what I do and who I am. Sure. But it's, I mean, what i do and who i am sure but it's i mean i love it i would yeah i wouldn't trade it like a lot of people do ask as well like or i guess not anymore but um do you

feel like you missed out on a childhood do you no no i feel like that was my childhood that was supposed to be my childhood yeah was singing on singing on Broadway. That's pretty sweet. Lucky. That's long hours too, right? In the beginning. So when I was in The King and I, when I was nine, it's a six-week rehearsal process that you get to learn the show. So I was tutored during that time. There were 14 kids.

We had a blast. And then when you do the show, it's just eight shows a week at night. So I lived on Long Island. My parents would drive me in every day. They bought a minivan so I could sleep on the way home so I could go to school in the morning. Oh, wow. But it wasn't – I mean, I hit school during the day and then I'd do my homework on the way in and then do the show. And that was like playtime for me.

Yeah. So, yeah, I wasn't quite as taxing as doing a Broadway show now. Right, right. What's something someone listening or watching should know about wanting to get into the industry, wanting to be an actor? Or maybe one of some things, like some simple principles that you can say for – and this could relate to people that are giving speeches. A lot of entrepreneurs that give big presentations and speak in front of large audiences. that speak in front of large audiences? Maybe what's a ritual or something that you tell yourself before you're about to audition, get ready for a scene, whatever,

be on stage, what are some things you do? In terms of auditioning or going to speak or singing beforehand, I don't know if I can curse on this. I won't curse, but I say F-U, F-U, F-U before I go. And I say the nerves aren't going to do me good, so go away. So you're saying that to the nerves? To myself, yeah. Gotcha.

To calm myself down. Yes. When you don't have beta blockers. A lot of actors do because they get so incredibly nervous that they take beta blockers before to see. Call the nerves. But mine don't get that bad. So yeah, I u f u f u um like i'm only gonna succeed if i'm at my best and that's the mindset i try to go into auditions with i also uh for actors it's leave your day at the door when you go in for auditions. Leave your day. Nobody wants to know about what happened before or after. Right.

Shelby, a pro. You go in and you do your thing, whether you're having a good or a bad day. It doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. I think also it's just about knowing that what you are bringing is enough and that it's not about the jealousy of others. It's not about the jealousy of others. It's not about the other's success. It's just really about focusing on what you have to give and what you have to bring.

And I think that's also important to say, like, they're lucky to have what I'm bringing. Yeah. As well as, like, yeah, please cast me. Right, right. Give me a job. And because, like, I feel like people can smell the desperation. When you go too far, it's not attractive and it's not a good look. It's the same thing in relationships.

Yeah. Getting a job. If you're desperate to get a job, desperate to get the girl. Right. Girl's like, get away from me. Yeah. You're like, play it cool. It's when you don't need it

anything it pours on you for free yeah you get like three movie offers instead of just one and you're like of course so how do you get that mentality how do you switch it when you're when you don't have anything maybe when you're not getting the jobs how do you be like well i really need the job because i need to make some money yeah You have to find other things to feed your soul, to keep you happy. And that's something I struggle with every day. This business is everything that I am. It is your life. It is my life. It is me. I mean, and that's the, I have to separate and remember that what I'm bringing is taking me another step to where I need to be. Um, all a nice, maniacal plan that I have set out. I like to try and think because I am enough and I work so hard.

So it will pay off. It's just not the right timing. It has to be the right thing in the right moment. It's all a little bit of luck, a little bit of talent. Maybe you're not ready for certain things either. Yeah. You don't want to get a big role and then blow it because you're not prepared. You don't have the skills, the tools yet to really like show up in a powerful way.

Exactly. But, you know, while I'm waiting, I have to remember that the things that I'm doing are part of the bigger picture. Of course. Yeah. What's the bigger picture for you? What's your vision? What's the bigger picture for you?

What's your vision? Successful enough of an actor that I'm able to do these things without worrying about where the pop back and forth when I need, keeping with the foundation and potentially just building a brand. I think it's it just well rounds you. It's also because I feel like I have a very strong business woman in me that I don't get to expel with acting

so, you know. Write a book and do a podcast. By the way, the book you have, I haven't mentioned it yet, it's called Choosing Glee. It came out a couple years ago. Ten Rules to Finding Inspiration, Happiness, and the Real You. I love it because a lot of pictures. For me, it's hard to read. So, a lot of cool pictures.

I mean, the pictures were for me. Exactly. But it's just great. You share a lot of great lessons and stories. And you bring in stories from all your cast members and other people that inspire you which i think thank you yeah this is the the book was really um the kickstarter for this whole i think brand if you will um it kind of started because it was me really actually honing in on the idea that i realized that not everybody is very positive and not everybody thinks the way that i do you're very positive

yeah and it's just been a part of who I am my whole life. I've always just looked on the brighter side and the been very grateful. So now it's all about practicing. It's practicing gratitude. It's practicing patience. It's everything has to be, um, mindful,

you know, I'm aware of it now. It's not just a part of like, and if I can impart that on other people and cause people are like, how do you do it? I don't know. I just do it. But now it's sort of figuring out where it came from. It's like therapy. I was doing a workshop last night for a group of female models and I was talking about, you know, the importance of practicing gratitude every day for me is huge. When I wake up every morning, I say what I'm thankful and grateful for. Before I go to bed at night, I tell my girlfriend three things I'm grateful for for the day

and I ask her the three things. I think when we're constantly in the practice of gratitude, it's hard to be angry and resentful and passive aggressive and frustrated at the same time. Yeah. There's definitely something to resetting, setting your day up to succeed, to be grateful, to be patient, to be kind, to be, you know, it's just the little acts of kindness. It's like, I don't know if you know AJF Jacobs. Oh, yeah.

He's amazing. He wrote a quote on the back of my book. He's the coolest. He's a great guy. He came on my podcast and he, you know, he did the Living Biblically and he had to be grateful. So he would always say like, thank you elevator for getting me to the floor that I had to get to. And I always think about that because you think about all the things that go wrong in your day.

But you don't think about all the things that go right. So it's just about flipping it. And this thing going right, like you woke up. Exactly. It's another day. You're blessed to have another day. There was a humongous earthquake in California. Do you know what I mean?

You have your, I mean, well, I have my five senses and I have my fingers and I have my legs. Everything. Everything. Yeah. I've got a buddy of mine who was born without arms and legs and he is climbing a mountain right now on his elbows. Of course he is.

That's the best. He's climbed Mount Kilimanjaro before. He's fought in like a cage fight with an able-bodied person. Because he can. He's done CrossFit because he's like- He can. Yes. And I'm like, there's no excuse.

There's no excuse. When someone like that- There was somebody running a marathon. My friend was telling me he was running a marathon. He did the New York City Marathon just once. He's like, never do it again. And there was somebody, he's one of the kindest people that I know and most grateful people that I know.

So he, um, it says, cheer me on, on the back of this guy's shirt that he's running next to. And he's like, you know, good job, Pedro. He just like said that. And the guy next to him on this side goes, thank you. Cause Pedro was blind running a marathon. I just love it. It makes those kinds of things are like so cool.

And, um and sweet reminders. Yes. Now, what was a non-negotiable for you or a ritual routine that you had to do every single day during the Glee experience? Was there anything or was just give up things that you wanted to serve the cause of the show? You mean like waking up rituals? Anything. Was there anything you did like in the morning, in the afternoon? You're like, I have to eat at a certain time.

I have to meditate every day. I have to at least take 20 seconds to write something down. I didn't. I didn't. I wasn't so mindful during Glee because we were so- It was chaotic. Involved. Yeah.

I mean, really, the every day was going to work and being there there were times though um in the middle of it that like there were just so many of us that the storylines weren't happening for me and i was getting really frustrated and like something had to change like you weren't connecting with the character you weren't well they weren't writing for me so like i would have like one line in a script and you sit there, but you have to be there because you're all in the choir room. So you're not expending your creative energy. That's where the book came from.

It was finding things to keep me at peace while I made, you know, I did my job and did it well with a smile on my face. But weren't as prominent a figure maybe, right? Yeah. Yeah. Just in the background. Yeah figure maybe, right? Yeah, yeah. Just in the background.

Yeah, you feel like you're underused. Because they're bringing new cast members constantly, right? Yeah, there's like 18 of us. And then they're putting them as, everyone has like a focal point. Storylines. Yeah, exactly. So the shift goes and you have your time and then you don't. And I just don't feel like I ever really, I didn't at that point feel like I had my time at all.

Do you feel like I ever really – I didn't at that point feel like I had my time at all. Do you feel like forgotten almost or – Yeah, a little underappreciated for how hard I work and watching some other people, not the cast, but like you see other people who don't work quite as hard and still get more than you. And you're like, what am I doing wrong? Yeah. And it's truly not about that. It's, you know, now in retrospect, I look at something like that. And it's not, again, it's not about what you're doing wrong. It's just about what other people are doing.

Right. But I did, we always had to have coffee. We always like to go to lunch together. We all really like to try and eat lunch together. That's cool. At least a few of us at a time. Yeah. If we went to restaurants and like all of us, number one, took too long and number two,

we'd be bombarded. So, yeah. I actually got like, we were in and out last night and somebody came up and it's been a while. Like people come up to us, but when we're together, when there's like two or more. They don't come to you when you're by yourself or something? You know what? People are less likely to come up to you if you're by yourself.

I don't know. Maybe it's something I give off because I'm like an introvert and I get so weird. When I was at the airport, I actually- You did. I've met three of you now, the group of you. Well, gosh, what's his name? Which one? Who's the guy that came on in like second or third season who was a gay character?

Darren or Chris? Yes, Darren. Darren, Chris. Yeah, yeah. I saw him at a, I walked on a plane and I just saw him sitting there and I was like,

I just put my fist out and I go, dude. I just go, bro, you're the man. That's awesome. You're the man. A pound of him was like, That's a good person to do it to. He goes, thanks, dude.

He goes, thanks, bro. Thanks, man. And I just walked back. I was like, good man. Yeah, he's like that. He's a great one to approach. Yeah goes, thanks, bro. Thanks, man. And I just walked back. I was like, good man. Yeah, he's like that. He's a great one to approach. Yeah. I get like scared.

I'm like, oh my God. No. I've said hi to everyone I've met at Glee. I'm just like, I love you. Good for you. I love you. You're amazing. Good for you.

Because, you know, I'm not anywhere at the level of like recognition that you guys have. But whenever I'm out, I really appreciate it. Like when New York or LA, people are like, dude, I love the podcast. I listen to it all the time whenever i'm out i really appreciate like when new york or la people are like dude i love the podcast i'm like i appreciate it and i want to like give someone a hug because i don't know who's listening right that's true you really don't you don't know unless they say something right right and obviously there's a time and a place probably you definitely see i love when like like last night she came up she says i'm from new york i'm just really happy to see you guys here and we miss you on TV. And that was it.

No ask for a photo, nothing like that. Not that I'm against photos or anything, but there's a level of respect when somebody just goes and they want nothing from it. Right. Of course. Yeah. You appreciate it more. It's like, oh, that's so nice and tasteful.

Now, what was it like when you were on the show? Because I'm assuming you weren't really well known before. You didn't have this recognition walking down the street. No. So what was it like when all of a sudden people, anytime you go down the street, they're like, they noticed you, they said something that came up to you. What was that like for you?

Weird. Getting this fame and this recognition. Yeah, it was weird. Most of it was great because, you know, you don't see that. And we don't know if what we're doing is right. We know that the ratings are good and we know that the critics like it. But it's the fans that keep you going. And they were just the most – it was a different group of fans.

We started to get high school students who were saying, we're starting glee clubs or you or you brought music back into my school, or you saved my life. I came out. I'm gay. Like, it was just mind-blowing how many social issues were brought up in the show that then could be talked about, you know, in the world. Right. And so, it was really great and cool. And they'd be like, we love Glee.

And we were just so weirded out by it number one because you're like i'm cool number two they'll call you by your character name a lot in the beginning like because they didn't know us so i still get called tina it's okay like i'm cool it's hard because no one knows yeah and then some fans will be like her name's jenna like thank you. It's okay. We don't need to fight. But, you know, it's interesting. And especially because of social media. Like, your life is not private. And it's weird. And you share things and then people think that they have the right to everything. Some people do.

And then, you know, it gets scary sometimes, you know, like you don't think about things like when you get packages shipped to your house, you have to change the name. I can't put John Osgood because then people know where I live. Oh, wow. So it's things that you don't think about and things that you don't realize are like, oh, I don't want somebody knowing my apartment number. Of course. Somebody showing up at my door.

Or in the neighborhood maybe. Yeah, like driving your car and they follow you home. You know, like things like that. It never really got that crazy for me. But I had fraud charts, you know, like my email. I'd change my email. It's just crazy little things that you don't think about. Wow.

Yeah. Who do you think experienced the biggest transformation of being unknown to the biggest fan? Chris Colfer was 19 when we started the pilot. The two of us would drive to work every single day together because we didn't really have anybody else. We'd hang out after we were done with rehearsal. We'd go walk around the Grove or walk around the Beverly

Center, which we could do at that time. At that time. It was appreciated. We didn't realize. We would just hang out. And he was from Clovis, California. And for people who don't know that, it's a very small town. He was picked on, bullied.

Possibly. He didn't come out before the show came out. What? No, he wasn't out when we were doing the pilot. Really? Yeah. I thought he was always... Wasn't he a gay character on the show?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he didn't come out as gay? Until later. I just assumed that he was. Yeah, I know. Wow. And so he, yeah. You told me.

Yeah, it was a big transition for him to come into a big city. And then come out. And then come out on TV as well. Oh my gosh. It was one of those times where you're like, okay. And so when he did that, I mean, God, the kid is so strong. Wow, yeah. It's crazy.

And so smart. Talented. It's crazy. But he was, you know, a genius. We're all going to work for him one day. Like, we basically are. He became this icon, gay icon on TV for all those kids who didn't know how to come out. I mean, the amount of, you know of response that he got from these people.

And now he's literally a gay icon. Elton John loves him. It's amazing. But he shot so fast. Faster than any of us. And yeah, definitely we saw it. And it's a lot. it's a lot for somebody who's young, just out of high school and then like shot, at least like we were, you know,

we had like fans in spring awakening or sort of used to stuff like that. It was cool. Yeah, it's good. But for him, I think it was the biggest. Right. Now, when, um, what season and episode did Corey pass? Corey passed away in the break of season four to five. In between.

Yeah. We were a week away from going back to work, and then we had to postpone. Most of us found out. I was out at a bar in New York and I you know you think it's like a hoax when you the celebrities come up and they like die yeah and we thought it was a joke and then when I started to see like that it other people were reporting about it all my friends all the cast was here in LA so I was like by myself and Cord was in New York thankfully and Harry too so like we met up that night but um yeah it was a shock we didn't know we didn't really know he kept uh one of the we didn't know that he was going because we knew he was going through yeah we knew he was in rehab he

came out of rehab and then passed away after he left so we didn't we thought he was on the mend we thought he was on the way up and um And we really didn't know during the time either. Like, for me, he kept his enemies his own. It never affected us. It never affected work. It never affected... Really? Yeah.

He was on set. He was focused. Yeah. And so it was kind of wild to... It was like a shocker. ...have something drop like that so fast. Wow. And it really hurt us too.

I don't, you know, it's beyond words, the, the experience that, that emotional experience for us. Thankfully we all had each other and it actually, the,

the good that came out of that was like, we had pretty, a lot of us had separated from each other. We were doing our own things. We were having having our own projects you know um really brought us back together like so fast and we yeah it definitely i mean i don't know if we would be the same and as close and as tight um if he was still around wow because you Because you guys all had your own fame that was getting your own opportunities, records, movies, TV, whatever. Everything.

So for us, it was like we were doing our own stuff. And, you know, we're still fine. Everybody was great. But, like, it's something that you stick now. Like, we went through something tragic. And you only come out together stronger like that. And he was the lead, right? He was our quarterback.

He was our dude. He was the light of the show. He was the heart. You know, he was our leader. And we all looked to him. Was he the real leader in real life too? Wow. Yeah.

Just because he was tall. He was just a presence. And it was so just wonderful to have. He made people laugh. And he would throw, like, they would have wrap parties for us. But then they would be, like, he would throw, like, a house wrap party for the cast and crew. Yeah. And, like, just throw them.

Yeah. And it was awesome. And everybody was so appreciative of that. Wow. Because he was always so appreciative. And he never complained. Gosh. Yeah. And it was awesome. And everybody was so appreciative of that because he was always so appreciative and he never complained. Gosh. Yeah. You never know sometimes.

You really don't. It makes you really think about your life and think about. What happened for you after that? You know, for me, like a part of the show died when Corey died. And that I think a lot of people, you know, I'm speaking for myself, but I feel like a lot of people feel there was something that's just missing, you know, that's your brother is just missing. So it was a really hard transition. Everybody was so strong and so amazing. And, you know, we move on and that's what we do. It's life.

Um, it was really weird though. You're like, nobody ever experiences that, really. There's not a lot of shows you lose a character, and you lose a beloved character and a friend. So you're like, what do you do? It's like you don't even know. Not a lot of shows, and the biggest show on TV, essentially. One of the biggest shows. Yeah. So it was weird for a while and never forgotten.

I remember the next episode was just heartbreaking. Oh, I don't even want to talk about that. It was so hard to do. And the way I like to look at it is like we got our memorial. We got our time with him. We got our way to say goodbye. Like, and the fans didn't. So that was for them.

Right. You know, for them to say goodbye to Finn. And wasn't, it wasn't Leah and him dating? Yeah, they were dating at the time. Oh, my gosh. So it was even a whole other. I can't imagine. She's one of the strongest people I know.

How do you go on? She came in and did the episode with us. You know, she only came in a little bit because, you know, she shouldn't have been around at all. But, you know, she was doing her own you know sort of mourning and grieving but she came in and did the song and that was heartbreaking and you know if you watched it you saw it but uh yeah they were dating at the time they did for a long time before that um and they were they made each other better wow so it was you know we loved it it was

great to see them together and to have uh like mom and dad sort of lead the way. So, yeah. But you move on. You do and you appreciate. And we never forgot him. I mean, like we talked about, you know, the script talked about him all the time. Like our characters talked about him. Yeah, which were like killer.

But that had to happen. I mean, you have to keep him yeah the show yeah incorporated how have you stayed so grounded um biggest biggest show in the world fans everywhere i mean look at it now we're all you know trying to get the next job and and we're all like human beings so it's one of those things you just like a keen sense of awareness keeps you and humility keeps you down to earth you know that's another thing it's like how does how do you and your cast your family handle like being the biggest most important people to i wouldn't say irrelevant but i mean mean, just like now what? Yeah. Yeah. No, no. I mean, really, it keeps you.

Because I don't know any of the cast members who are on TV. No, not right now. I don't think so. Yeah. So it's like. I mean, people are doing stuff. Right, right, right. You know, we're all working hard.

Of course. It's just a matter of, yeah, going from something to absolutely like 180 to, you know, you're in park for a second. Right. We're human. I mean, like I, you go to Comic-Con and like,

you see, like, I like to call Comic-Con like, you know, like camp for celebrities where you go and hang out with your friends. Like it's the one time I know I get to see like a lot of my friends who are off doing movies and off, you know,

in Atlanta or Vancouver. And so, and you just remember like these people are human and they're your friends and they're normal and they don't, this isn't everything that they are. And you can get lost in that so easy. We did, you know, because we had to. You have to like sort of give into the Hollywood life. You have to give into getting your hair and makeup done all the time and going to these events and putting on a good face.

Yeah. And acting like a big deal. Yeah. I mean, there were days that like, you know, I would be, I would have a terrible day or something would happen with like my boyfriend or my family. And you'd have to go to this event and put on a smile and do it. Yeah. But that's the, those are the things that bring you back real fast. Yeah, right? Yeah.

I know my parents also have always taught me that from the beginning because they put me in the business so early and child stars can be crazy. Yes. They were always like, Jenna, just remember to keep a good head on your shoulders. Okay. Yeah. So I owe it to them.

How many tattoos do you have? I think 23 now. 23? Yeah. They're all little though because I don't have a sleeve or anything. But they're like, I have them on my feet

and my ribs and my back. What's the most meaningful one to you? Oh, goodness. Well, they all have meaning. Of course. Well, meaningful to myself. Yes. Inej is backwards. It's Jenna backwards. Anege is backwards.

It's Jenna backwards. My dad calls me that. And I did my lucky number 28 in Roman numerals because, and my dad always plays that for like lottery and stuff. So that's for my family, my dad. And then this one we got for Tina. I got for Tinaina i got for tina for ugly um and then like the rest of this one too because me leah and kevin were in chicago i think it was during oprah time and we like took a cab and we were like we're going to a tattoo parlor and we all got imagined because

he just finished that song you know with the um the deaf students oh wow and we did uh imagine and they signed it so we we all got Imagine somewhere. That's cool. What's the next tattoo? What would you get? I actually want to go get another one while I'm here. I said I wouldn't do anymore, but I want to do the Taurus constellation. That's probably next.

Okay. I love it. A few more questions. Okay. I love it. A few more questions for you. Sure. I feel like I could talk to you first. How are you handling, let's say, rejections that come up now? And let's say, I don't want to say you're getting rejected. I get it.

No, I get it. I'm doing that because I literally, it's hard. It's hard. I'm saying there's a lot of people that put themselves out there and that are looking to get a job and people say no. Yeah. Try to do business deals. I have to keep in mind, I've been going through it because this is pilot season.

And for people who don't know, pilot season is when all the new TV shows do their pilots and then the networks look and say, we're going to pick three out of the ten. So all the characters are being cast right now. And I've gone out on a plethora of auditions, and they're great. They're going really well. You're making relationships even if you don't get the job, and you're making good impressions. But how do you handle it? It's hard. I mean, literally, day to day, it's up and down.

I'm like, I love Elaine. I love this. And then the next day, I'm like, I hate everything. I'm quitting. You have to keep in mind the right project is going to come at the right time. Not every project.

I mean, I'm 110% at everything I do from waking up in the morning and drinking my coffee. Like, you know, it's just like everything. Yes, exactly. So, you know, you can't get married to the parts before you book them. I have to like let it go.

Let it go. And you have to remember that it's just the right timing and the right character and it's going to all happen. Like there was a pilot I did for Disney years, years ago. And during that time, I would have been for the six years. It didn't get picked up. Well, it did, but I got recast actually. They brought in a different woman to play the role. I got recast actually.

Um, they brought in a different woman to play the role. And had I done the show while it was running, I wouldn't have been able to audition for Glee. So like everything just, it all makes sense. Of course. Yeah.

Um, so that's the, what I keep in mind, but I don't, it's, it's really like a day to day. And I live, I'm living with, um,

my best friend, Kevin, who plays Artie right now. And we're both auditioning and we keep each other sane. In New York? Here. Here in LA. I'm staying with him.

Gotcha. Yeah. And we're great. We've always been the best of friends. He's very talented, too. He's insane. He's literally insane. His harmonies.

Whenever he sings harmonies, I'm just like- And he can dance and he can sing and he can write and he's just smart. The episode where he got to dance, I was like, yes. I know. You were all so happy and on tour like we wake up in the morning and go get breakfast and then they go around the city together so like everything we did was just that's cool yeah um i don't know what i do without him but even during pilot season now like we keep each other in check we run lines with each other

we that's cool um when we're having a day, like we'll go and he's like, let's just go get like cheeseburgers or something and, you know, try and forget about it. So it is good to have a support system here. Um, yeah, it's hard though.

It is hard, hard, hard. There are days we both had one really bad day this time. We're laying on the couch. Like what? Yeah. Especially when you were on the top of the world.

Yeah. I mean, you go from something and then we look at each other. We're like, I am I doing? Yeah. Especially when you were on the top of the world. Yeah. I mean, you go from something and then we look at each other and we're like, I missed that show. It's one of those things sometimes. I think I read you have a breathing exercise, right? So you follow or you practice. Do you have a breathing exercise? I try.

I don't have one that I stick to. Something different. It's all about, you know, like when I go to sleep at night, I try to, when I can't fall asleep, I try not to. I used to take melatonin a lot and like try or do something to make me go to bed. Relax, yeah. Yeah. And now it's just focusing on my breathing.

That's good. How important is your breathing for you? Oh, it's everything. I mean, literally everything. Oh, it's everything. I mean, literally everything. Um, I need to, I'd sometimes like at stoplights, uh, I'll put my car in park and I'll close my eyes. I know it's probably not the safest. My therapist said it was okay to do that. And I just closed my eyes and, um, and I listened to my breathing and, um, I'll just like say something to myself, either it's whether it's something that I'm grateful for or whatever's going through my head.

It's just, be quiet, Jenna. And then I'll open my eyes and I'll light a candle or somebody will honk at me and I'll go. Or it'll be before the light changes. Sure. That's cool. I like it. Okay. Final few questions.

Okay. I'm going to keep saying this every question. It's fine. Hold on. I'll wrap this with you. I want to ask the question. Hold on, I want to wrap this with you. I want to ask the question.

You could say one sentence to your biological mom and your biological dad, and that would be the only sentence. Say they're both alive. Okay. You could say one thing to them each, and that would be the only thing you'll ever get to say to them for them to hear about you. They don't even know what you've created in your life. Okay. They don't even know you're alive. Okay.

They don't know where you're headed, what you've done, where you've been. But they get one sentence each to hear. This is like a lot of pressure. I didn't give her time to prep for this. No, no, no. It's good. It's just off the cuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.

I'll definitely. Okay. Good. I'm the cast and director telling you to improv here. Okay. Okay. So tell me. Mom and dad.

Your mom. You get one sentence for each. It'd be the same. Okay. So you get two sentences. Thank you. Mom and dad, thank you for giving me the opportunity to have a better life than you could give

I'm I'm happy I'm healthy I'm living wholeheartedly I do not take what you did for granted and I love you and I hope

you're happy that's beautiful. Thanks. That's great. The final three questions that I ask everyone. Okay. First one. What are you most grateful for in your life recently?

My new goddaughter. She's taught me to have a different perspective, which I hadn't had in a while. Um, and I'm most grateful for being alive. I'm grateful that I get to go on auditions and I get to live comfortably while I'm not. And I get, I have wonderful friends and that I'm realizing like what makes me happy and not making excuses for it or, you know, not having to apologize for it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. So this is, uh, since you're going to live for another hundred years, this is a hundred years from now. It's your last day. You've had an incredible life. Okay.

You've had a lot of great men in your life, a lot of great friends, incredible family. You've achieved everything you wanted to achieve. Every dream possible, it's happened. And then some. And you're peaceful, everything's good,

but your books, your movies, glee has been erased from time. So no one has any, they can't watch or read anything that you've ever done. But your great, great, great granddaughter or someone comes up and says, you got a piece of paper and a pen to write down three truths, the three things you know to be true about your entire experience, your life from all the ups and downs, the beautiful things. This will be the only thing that we get to remember your message by.

That's written down. What would you write down as the three truths that you know to be true about your experience and that other people should focus on in their life as well? on in their life as well? One of them would be my truth is living for the bigger picture, living for the greater good, knowing that what I was doing left a mark that was bigger than myself. was bigger than myself. Number two would be living with the awareness of living with self-worth and self-love or trying to every day. And three, one of the, the third one would be something about living a life that is not led by fear, but led by challenges that allowed you to expand and grow and learn continually. I love it. It's a great truth.

I love it. Okay. That was a lot of pressure. It's all right. You know, it's your last day. Before I ask the final question. Okay. Where is the best place to connect with you online? You've got a new podcast.

What's it called? Yeah. So my podcast is called Infinite Positivities. I love it. And you can search at willradio.com for all of our podcasts. Or you can go to iTunes and search Infinite Positivities or Jenna Ashkowitz, which has been so much fun. And it's actually like I learned. I mean, I'm sure you know.

You learn so much about people and about yourself. And it's such a cool experience. I'm loving it. and about yourself. And it's such a cool experience. I'm loving it. Also, I'm Jenna Ashkowitz at Instagram, Twitter. And is that it?

Facebook. Yes, I have Facebook. And that's it. I mean, yeah. Cool. And the book, Choosing Glee. And Choosing Glee. Make sure to check it out.

It's a cool, great book. 10 Rules of Finding Inspiration, Happiness, and the Real You. I love it. Before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you, Jenna, for your incredible positivity, your incredible joy, your love. You just express so much of it constantly. Thank you. I try. Whether it be the work you're creating, this book I experienced it, and meeting you for the first time, just right when I saw you walk in the door, I was just like, I've got to give her a big hug. I try. Whether it be the work you're creating, this book, I experienced it and meeting you for the first time just right when I saw you walk in the door. I was just like, I got to give her a big hug.

You did. It was so nice. So I want to acknowledge you for the life you've lived where you could easily have questioned, why did this happen to me? Why am I here? Where's my real family? All these are the questions, but you live with positivity. You showed up every single day and you've followed your dreams of doing what you loved. Thank you. And I want to acknowledge you for taking risks and doing things out of your comfort zone, which created magic in your life. Yeah, it does. And the thing that you created on Glee saved thousands of lives. And I want to

acknowledge you for the countless hours of work and commitment when you maybe didn't want to be there to stick it out and give your best because you literally changed the world. Thank you. So I acknowledge you for all of your incredible gifts. The final question is what's your definition of greatness? Greatness is to me, always reaching and always working to hit your best self

uh your most complete self um greatness is showing up um when you didn't think you could. Greatness is happiness. There you go. Jen Auskowitz, thanks for coming on the show. Thank you. I appreciate you. Awesome. There you have it.

Thank you so much for being here. It means the world that you show up, you're present, you listen, and most importantly, you take action on the information provided in today's episode and interview. Jenna was so kind to stick around and we sang a little song. So if you want to go check out the show notes, lewishouse.com slash 306, you can see me playing the guitar, which I haven't played in months, and you can hear her singing a song, which she said she hasn't sung in a long time. So you get to see us form a little two-person band.

And you can check out that video again at lewishouse.com slash 306 and the full video interview with Jenna there as well. Thank you guys so much for being here. Make sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. If you're not yet a subscriber, we come out with episodes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday designed to make your life better, to improve the quality

of your life, to support you in becoming the optimal human being that you can be. So make sure to subscribe and share these episodes with your friends because we are building a movement of greatness. Over a million downloads every single month right now, three years in, and it's only getting bigger and better because of you. I appreciate and love you guys so very much.

Thank you for being here. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.