The School of Greatness - 388 Ryan Blair: Rock Bottom Moments to Rock Star Opportunities

Episode Date: October 3, 2016

"Once you get momentum, it does all the work for you." - Ryan Blair If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/388

This is episode number 388 with number one New York Times best-selling author Ryan Blair. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro-athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome, everyone. Welcome. We just had an incredible experience this last weekend.

The summit of greatness went off and it was magical. So many amazing people from all over the world showed up. And one of our keynote speakers was Ryan Blair. And wow, did he rock the house. We had to bring him on again to talk about his new book. He's got a book called Rock Bottom to Rock Star. And I'm very excited for you guys to connect with him and learn about how he overcame so much adversity to building a multi-hundred million dollar business and becoming

a number one New York Times bestseller. He's done so many great things. And for those that don't know who he is, he is a New York Times bestselling author, self-made multimillionaire, and serial entrepreneur who established his first company when he was 21 years old and has since created and actively invested in multiple startups. He has founded and sold numerous businesses for hundreds of millions of dollars, runs global healthy lifestyle company, Vysalis, and is a venture capitalist. He's also the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain,

How I Went from Gang Member to Multimillionaire Entrepreneur. It was also made into an award-winning documentary, and he's appeared on CNBC, MSNBC, Bloomberg, CNN, Fox, every other news site you can think of. And again, his new book is called Rock Bottom to Rock Star, Lessons from the Business School of Hard Knocks. And some of the things we cover today are what are the skills that make a great CEO in order to manage a team of two or 2,000. And Ryan talks about the skills of scaling as a CEO.

Also, what's the biggest challenge about being a leader of a big organization today? Again, thousands of sales reps, thousands of employees, millions of people around the world buying your products. What's the challenge of being a leader in a big organization today? Why Ryan says that you should never, ever believe your own hype. Why women can be better leaders than men and what you need to learn about that, how to get out of a dark hole when you're experiencing emotional pain and so much more. I love this one, guys. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

Make sure to check out the full show notes and video interview at lewishouse.com slash 388. Ryan Blair is the man and is a good friend of mine. So make sure to share this out with your friends. Tweet it. Give Ryan some love. Leave a comment on the blog or the YouTube channel and let me know what you guys think. And without further ado, let me introduce to you the one, the only, Ryan Blair.

Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast. We have the legend, Ryan Blair, in the house, man. Good to see you, bro. Love you too, man. Super pumped for this. You had a book that came out a number of years ago called Nothing to Lose, Everything to Game, number one New York Times bestseller. Been a big hit. A lot of entrepreneurs have read this book over the years and said you've inspired them to launch businesses.

You've got a new book out that's out right now called Rock Bottom to Rock Star. Make sure you guys go and pick this up right now. Everything this guy does is really inspiring, really powerful stuff. So make sure to go grab this right now. Did you notice on the back? Yes. There's a couple names on the back. There's a couple names on the back. The first name there. You're not going to be able to see this, but the back of it, you're going to have to go buy it so you can see it. The back of it has my testimonial on here. Well, you inspired me. You inspired me, man.

I appreciate it. In our hikes and the first podcast we did and all the times we spent together on the cruise ship at Summit. I mean, we've crossed paths a number of times. We've bonded many times. Yeah, it's cool. For those that don't follow me on Snapchat or Instagram stories, me and Ryan go on like every month or two. We go on a hike. Yeah.

And we learn a lot and we connect. I feel like you're one of my biggest mentors from how much you share and how much you open up and talk about your struggles, your opportunities. You have a company called Vysalis. This is one of the products. It's a neon energy drink. But you sold this company originally for almost $800 million, correct? I sold Vysalis. This is one of the products. It's a neon energy drink, but you sold this company originally for almost $800 million, correct? I sold Vysalis for – well, just to take a step back. I bought the company in 2005, so I've always been a bit of a venture capitalist.

I got beat up by my venture capitalist pretty bad on the sale of Sky Pipeline when I was 24. I sold the company for round numbers for like 25 million bucks. And the venture capitalists got 24 million of it, so to speak. So then I started Vysalis because I saw two great entrepreneurs and they had a great doctor and a scientist behind it. I invested in them and I sold the company in 2008. And in 2008, I sold it right before the recession hit. And I structured a deal right at a five-year earn out. In 2008, we were doing $500,000 a year in EBITDA, which is profit for those people who don't know. And by the end of the earn out, I was doing $97 million in EBITDA per year.

So the price tag on the end of the sale was $792.4 million. Amazing. And then you sold it and then you bought it back. Yeah, yeah. So I sold it. Sales dropped. It wasn't the company that bought its Yeah, yeah. So I sold it. Sales dropped. You know, it wasn't the company that bought its fault, but it wasn't the same.

And, you know, we had to grow up. Myself and my co-founders made a lot of cash. And, you know, we were living a life like a rock star. And in my book, I talk about some of the mistakes I've made being a rock star. Like you don't need to buy a jet if someone else has one. Right. You bought a jet, huh? Yeah, I bought a Challenger 300, which is a great jet.

But unfortunately, one of my partners is in Miami. The other one lives somewhere in New York, and I live in LA. And so when I wanted the jet, he had it. And so next time around, we'll just use a NetJets or something like that. Gas money is expensive. Yeah, it's $4,700 a flight hour. Wow. That was my total cost on it. Wow, crazy. Okay. So what do you say is one of the biggest mistakes you had or lessons you learned, I should say,

in that period of buying it and selling it? Yeah. Well, momentum is an interesting thing. So when you start a company, you have this dream that all of a sudden sales start happening in your sleep. And you don't know when it's going to hit. And a lot of people call it a tipping point. I get the chills just thinking about this. I remember when I was like, it's a tipping point. It's happening. There's money coming in automatically.

Yeah, it was like – but no one else saw the grounds. Underneath, it's like a tidal wave, right? I saw the inertia happening, but the water still looks the same. And then all of a sudden, the tipping point point hits and it just breaks your barriers and walls and crashes things. And what was that like? What was the, what was happening or what was coming in during the tipping point? Well, I, so I'd read Malcolm Gladwell's book. We all have a lot of us, right? I've always dreamed about it. And also I'm like, I'm having one, it's happening. And you, and you know it before. So I, as a CEO, and I'm a data guy, I started my career as a software engineer.

So I'm looking at analytics and data. And so I'm seeing data that's like, this is momentum. And the thing that I learned is once you get momentum, it does all the work for you. And so unfortunately, the biggest mistake that I made, it's like I equate it to I love basketball. It's like once I realized I could jump really high and I could play really good, then I just started showing up. I didn't practice much. I didn't prepare. I didn't discipline myself because momentum did all the work. I remember in July 2012, I sold out American Airlines Arena in Miami during the Heat in their first run to the championship.

And I sold more tickets to that arena than the Heat sold to their championship series. For an event? For an event. Yeah, for an event. It was my birthday, and I walked on stage, and the whole place broke out in a happy birthday song to me, right? I didn't have to do anything. I just showed up, right?

Now that I bought the company back, I got to me, right? I didn't have to do anything. I just showed up, right? Now that I bought the company back, I got to work, right? Like I don't got momentum right now. So I got to start it all over again. And next time I get it, I'm going to make a lot smarter decisions. Wow, man. Some fun facts about you is you identify yourself as socially awkward. Is that true? Yeah. Who told you that? Found it somewhere online. Yeah. I'm a cancer. And I don't know much about this, but there's half of me that's completely introverted. And there's another half of me that's completely extroverted.

Right, right. And the duality between the two is a bit of a conflict. But if you were to invite me to a dinner party, as you have, I would ask you every detail about everything. Like who's going to be there? What's the cuisine? What's the blah, blah, blah, blah, to convince myself to go. Now, I have been working on just going. Right, right, right. You know what I mean?

Because I know it's a good thing. Yeah, I'm socially awkward. What are the greatest skills that you have that make you a great CEO? The socially awkward skill obviously is working for you. You know, truth is I don't think I'm a great CEO. I really don't. I know some great CEO. I really don't. I know some great CEOs. I've learned from some very great CEOs.

My team around me makes me look on occasion like a great CEO. And I've figured out what my weaknesses are. And I've got a team that knows that and they know what my strengths are. And so they put me in the game where I'm strongest. And defer to them where I'm weak and they forgive me. Like on the bottom of my strength list is a consistency and communication and empathy, right? You know, and so things that are pretty important when you have a company with a lot of people. And so they'll be like, Ryan, that doesn't sound very empathetic. And I'll be like, cause I have empathy in me, but it just isn't one of my strengths. Right. So then I go, okay, let me reset. Let me reset. And I'm very empathetic. And I'll be like, because I have empathy in me. Yes. But it just isn't one of my strengths, right?

So then I go, okay, let me reset. Let me reset. And I'm not going to tell this person, you know. To go screw off or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I have the ability to be a bit like, what's his name? Bobby Axelrod in the movie TV show Billions.

Okay. I try to check that. Like, I don't want those types of problems, right? Sure, sure. That's good. So they forgive you a lot then, huh? Ah, they forgive me. Every day I get forgiven for something from someone.

And most importantly, I get forgiven for the man upstairs every day for not doing my best. What do you forgive yourself for? Ah, that's a good question. Or what have you not forgiven yourself for? Ah, that's even better. What have I not forgiven myself for? You know, I've let my ego get the best of me a lot. And I'm still working on that, trying to understand it. And, you know, I've let my

competitive spirit get the best of me a lot where like, you know, out of this innate desire to compete, I'll compete with people I shouldn't or I'll compete. Yeah. So I think that there's probably a few weaknesses that I'm still working through, or perhaps, perhaps I was insecure and I shouldn't have been, I should have, I should have been more secure about that stuff. Uh, like for example, if, you know, if, if I'm doing too much of the talking at a dinner table, it's not because I want everybody to hear me talk is because I'm trying to seek approval or something like that.

And so I'm trying to figure out that balance between my success and people knowing it and people not knowing it. Because now I walk in a room and a lot of people know it, but my blind spot is I don't know that they know it. So I just want to share everything. And they're like, dude, I know all about you. Quit sharing it. So it's weird.

The other night I was with my friend Terrence Jenkins and I was at his house and had a bunch of these celebrities over. And I go meet somebody who's a famous rap star. And I'm like, oh, nice to meet you, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, I wrote a book. He's like, I know exactly who you are, man. Quit talking.

You don't have to tell me. Like, let's talk about art. Let's talk about other stuff. And I was like, huh, I guess people do know who I am. So it was a weird thing. And he knew who I was because of my friendship with Terrence. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Interesting. Why do you think, you know, I go through experiences like that at the club, but why do you think we have that or we go through those experiences as human beings? I'm sure people relate to that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, where I came from, you know, I never dreamed in a million years that somebody had asked for my signature on a piece of paper and that mattered.

But like, I'm a man of the people, right? So I don't see myself as some, you know, rich person or some wealthy person or famous person or whatever I am or a New York Times bestselling author. They did it all for me. It's them, not me. It's them buying my book and taking action on it that has put me in this position. And so I try to – I refuse to adopt the personality or the ego that this is me doing this. This is all – This is somebody else. And when it is me, I just give the credit to the man upstairs

because he gave that to me, and I'm very spiritual on the subject. So that's how I keep my ego in check. It's like I'm a vessel. That is all I am. I'm a messenger. Another – I don't know if this is a – I'm nervous. Lewis knows me better than a lot of people.

Yes, I do. And so he probably in preparation for this made some telephone calls. Exactly. Here's another – I don't know if it's a fun fact, but it's another interesting moment is that your mom was on life support for two years after a major skull injury. But then she had a recovery, correct? Yeah. I write about that a lot. It was a very dark period for me.

And what's interesting is during that, that was the darkest period of my life. And I learned a tactic called compartmentalization. And so- I don't have that. Yeah. It's hard for me to really not have the emotions from something bleed into others in my life. I've seen a lot of other entrepreneurs do it. And I've seen marriages, like for example, if a marriage fails, I've seen the business fail too. And that's the worst thing that could happen

for your kids, right? The business has got to survive to pay the bills. You know what I mean? And you can't let... It's a tough thing to do. It's only good to do when you're at war with something. You know what I mean? It's not good to live in a compartmentalization mindset forever. It's a coping strategy psychologically. But you get into a point where it's almost like a zone where you're able to open up a compartment, do what you need to do, close a compartment, open up another one, do what you need to do, close it. And then you get intolerant of anybody wasting any of your time. And it comes to a point where you're like, look, my mom's on life support right now. And you want to tell me you stubbed your toe. Right. You know what I mean? Like, you know, you don't make

a lot of friends in that, in that moment. But I remember when my mom was in a coma, one time I, you know, I blow off steam. I went out to a club and went to go have some drinks and the waitress knew me. And she goes, have you been crying? And people didn't know what I was going steam. I went out to a club and went to go have some drinks. The waitress knew me and she goes, have you been crying? People didn't know what I was going through. I was like, wow, man. Yeah, I have been crying. I just saw my mom. I could cry right now talking about it.

That was a tough experience. It's still tough now. It's funny. She's in bad shape. I don't know how much time I have left with her, but I know that I get a little bit of time every day when she can be awake to take the call. I have to find the window because she's only got the ability to recall and remember for, say, an hour or two a day. So I have her nursed. My family has to pay about $1,500 a day to keep

her alive, but she's happy. She's happy. She watches a lot of Netflix. She got to catch up on two years worth of movies and TV shows and everything she missed. Sure, sure. But she's severely handicapped. But it's weird, your perspective. A lot of people would be like, pity me.

My mom's severely handicapped. I'm like, I'm just happy my mom's alive, right? So it's weird how life can give you kind of different perspectives. I've got a similar experience. My father was in a car accident 11 years ago. Next week, it'll be 11 years. And he's around. You can have a conversation with him, but he's not fully emotionally.

He's not my mentor anymore, like the father that I knew for 22 years. And it's a challenge as well because when I call, he forgets a lot of things. He always asks the same questions. I'm sorry to hear that, man. But in some ways, I feel like it's made me so much more driven to leave a bigger legacy and to support him how I can and to thank him by living a great life and doing my best. Do you feel like – Yeah.

So one of my philosophies is it's not what doesn't kill you makes you stronger because there's a lot of things that don't kill you that don't make you stronger. Right. But what weakens you can strengthen you, right? So that must feel like a weakening moment when you're on your phone with your father. Yeah.

And I'm sure you probably hang up that call and have to do some reflection, as I do when I'm with my mother. And then all of a sudden, you get some strength from that weakness, like that feeling of, man, I'm with my mother. And then all of a sudden, you get some strength from that weakness, like that feeling of, man, I'm going to prove to him, or not to him,

I'm going to make him proud, is probably what you say. He's not even aware of it. He's not aware really what I'm doing that much. I mean, he kind of gets it, but he's not really aware. But I'm like, it doesn't matter. Whether he's here or not here,

I'm going to... His spirit's getting it. Yeah, he's getting it. He's getting it for sure. Do you feel like you're – and what about your father? Is your father in your life? Yeah, that's a tough one. I've forgiven him 100%.

He disappeared at 13. He was a very violent man to my mother. He's heavily affected by the Vietnam war and he was a veteran and, uh, he let that get the best of him. And that's why I have such a, an open heart toward veterans and military families, because I understand firsthand what that can do and how, how traumatic that is. Um, now that that's an excuse in my opinion, right? He didn't seek the help that he should have sought.

And I, I mean, and there's help out there and you got to seek it. And, uh, he didn't, and there's help out there and you got to seek it and he didn't and it destroyed his life. Now he lives, he recently started, I'll tell you a funny story. I was in Israel and I was playing basketball.

I saw your whole journey. I'm playing basketball and I sever my patella tendon. For those of you who don't know what this is. Sorry, I'm not laughing, but I shouldn't be laughing, but it was funny.

This is funny because we couldn't hike for like five months because of it. No, I'm finally walking again, working out was funny. It's just funny because we couldn't hike for like five months because of it. No, I'm finally walking again, working out again, hiking. I feel great now, but I couldn't walk. Yeah. And all of a sudden, I see on my Facebook feed, like somebody says, I'm really worried about you.

Are you okay? And it's my dad. I hadn't heard from him in a long time. I was like, huh, that's ironic. Like I would have loved him to say I'm worried about you at 14, at 15, at 16, at 17, at 18. Sure, yeah. When you were in a gang, when you were with the juvie. When I went to juvie, yeah.

When my mom was in a coma. Right. Would have loved a little shout out then. Right. And I've forgiven him. And obviously I appreciated that, you know, he's come to terms that he wants to be a father to me. And so I've yet to set the reunion. I plan to, but I'm a little bit, you uh, I've yet to set the reunion. I plan to, um, but I'm

a little bit, you know, I don't know exactly how to do it, um, yet, but we've talked about it. He's willing to, I'm willing to, but I want to make sure I set the right environment. So that way I don't have anything to get off my chest with him. Cause I put it all in my books. Yeah. He, he knows exactly how I feel. Cause he's seen it on TV. He read about it in People magazine. I mean, you know, I feel a little bad that the guy gets beat up so much. But, you know, he made some bad decisions and it made me a stronger man. There you go. And I also, I'm going to take a stand right now for all those fathers out there that are taking action on behalf of their children no matter what.

Right? no matter what, right? Even if they're going through a tough divorce or their counterpart, it didn't work out or they have a lot of resistance or conflict or tension in the relationship. It's real easy when that happens for a father to disengage from their son. And that's when you can't. That's when you got to double down engagement.

And why do fathers disengage in so much in that area? I can't imagine. I have a son, Reagan, seven years old. Me and his mother didn't work out. A lot of times we have conflict and it's not easy. We try not to get him involved. There is no way.

I guess one of the things is I look at it and I say, I'm playing for that boy's opinion of me when he's 25 or 30. He's seven now. I want him at 25 or 30 to know the dad that he had at seven. But he might not know it now. He may not appreciate it. He may not care. He may be influenced to believe that certain things are not real or whatever the case is.

And then also, inversely, and it's funny, I started reading him a bedtime story the other night, and I grabbed the book, The Monk That Sold His Ferrari. You ever read it? I haven't read it, but I've seen it. Yeah, well, I have a Ferrari, and my son started getting attached to it. And he's like, Dad, will you take me to school in the Ferrari? And at first, you know, I'm proud of myself. I want to do it.

And then I heard him bragging that he had a Ferrari to his friends. And I had to let him know, no, you don't have a Ferrari. I got a Ferrari. And, you know, I earned that and it was a way for me to reward myself, right, because I'd achieved something. And so I'm figuring out a way to detach him from materialism

even though I do have my own love of toys and things like that. How do you do that as a father? I mean, you've obviously sold a company for almost $800 million. You're doing extremely well right now. You live at the top of Hollywood Hills. You have an amazing house, white beach sand up by your house with a nice pool, hot tub, cars. Yeah.

So one thing is – How do you instill those skills into someone? Well, one, I use a lesson plan. I'm a teacher. That's all I am. That's why I love writing books is I believe that I should be teaching in a school somewhere. And I can't wait for the president to call me and let's make that happen because I have a lot to teach. I teach through entrepreneurship.

I teach through Vysalis. I teach every single day. So I love teaching him. So how do you do it? One of my friends, his name is Alex von Furstenberg. He is the son of Alex von Furstenberg. He is the son of Diane von Furstenberg and the stepson of Barry Diller. He's on the board of IAC.

He told me, talk about the value of things, not the cost, right? Not the price, right? So talk about the value. So give me an example. For example, the Ferrari. Why is that valuable to me, right? Not that, hey, this Ferrari is a $333,000 car or whatever I paid for it. And it goes, you know, but it's like, what's the value of this?

The engineering behind it, the value of it, right? Not the price of it. And I'm like, you know, like, for example, if I say, oh, that costs too much. No, no, no. That's not valuable for us. Why would I say if he wants a toy, he always likes video games and stuff. He wants to buy an in-app purchase. And these in-app purchasing people – They're going to be expensive now.

50 to 100 bucks on the phone, right? I caught him buying – it was hundreds of dollars worth of stuff. And I'm like, well, that's too expensive, like 60 bucks, right? Why would I do that? For a game, yeah. And he goes, you got 60 bucks. And the truth is I do. But I want to explain to him that's not valuable.

What else could we do with $60 than a fleeting moment in a video game? And there's so much more you can do. I bought a place off the grid in northern Arizona so that way I could teach him how to conserve water, pick up trash, teach him how to integrate with nature, not just live in this castle that I built. Right, right, right. Yeah, it's nice. I love your space. I'm like, I'm sniveling here because you made me start to tear up talking about

my mom. Thank you for pivoting. Sure, sure. Thank you for pivoting me to something I'm very happy to talk about, which is my son. Exactly. What do you think his biggest challenge is going to be growing up? Well, you know, he has autism. So, you know, today he told me, he said, sometimes your friends don't show up. And I've taught him how to make friends a lot.

He used to be very sad about the fact that kids would make fun of him because he's different. You know, he's got special needs. And in school, he has what's called a bi which is a an adult assigned to him to help him cope and understand how to integrate and you know and it's just hard when you're in school if you have like yeah anything that's not normal yeah and the kids see that like why does reagan have an adult with him in class now we had an early intervention his mother is a rock star mom she's she there for him. We got him an advocate. We've done everything we can.

My son is in the public school system. And the reason why I did that is because I wanted to be an advocate for other families to utilize the public school system resources. Because I could have put him in some very expensive private school and so forth. And obviously, I have more means. And so I have an advantage for him. And I want to then, that's why my foundation gives to autistic related causes and so forth, because I want to help families without means.

But I don't know what his biggest challenge is going to be growing up. You know, his challenge is going to be if he wants to be president of the United States of America or the next Mark Zuckerberg, because I'm going to figure out a way for him to do whatever it is

that he wants to do. So his challenge is going to be- Making the decision. Yeah, his challenge is going to be that I'm going to figure out a way for him to do whatever it is that he wants to do. So his challenge is going to be. Making the decision. Yeah. His challenge is going to be that I'm going to help him take these weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Sure. And where he's going to apply those strengths in the place that he loves the most. Right, right.

I like that. What do you think? I think there's a lot of people today that want to be entrepreneurs and that want to be a CEO and they want to be a leader of something. They want to build something. be entrepreneurs and they want to be a CEO and they want to be a leader of something. They want to build something. What's the biggest misconception about being a CEO or being a leader of a company with 50 to 100 to 1,000 people, whatever, in that range? What's the biggest misconception?

What's the biggest challenge about being a CEO and a leader today? Well, I'll tell you the biggest challenge I've had, and I still have it, is when you, for example, you're in a relationship with someone and, and, uh, and they come home and they have their needs and their wants, and you have, uh, a thousand people that have needs and wants and, um, your lifestyle that you live and, and, you know, that sand beach that you have is, is, is built by them, not you. Right. And so you need to find people in your family that understand that we are servants and we are here to serve them. And when the company calls, we go help. We do whatever it takes. There's no off hours. There's no sum.

Yeah. You got to try to find a way to recharge. But a lot of times people don't understand what it's like to lead a lot of people. And sometimes when and sometimes when you lead those people, you know, you come home and you're, you're, you're not there because you might've had to lay off a person today. You might have to fire a friend. You might've had to, you know, you might've had to have a very uncomfortable conversation. I, you know, woke up to a lawsuit. I mean, there's things that, that hit you when you get big and when you run a big company that, you know, that, that suck. I mean, day in, day out. So, you know, a lot of people think that it's glamorous, but there's a lot of, uh, you know, that, that suck. I mean, day in, day out. So, you know, a lot of people think that it's glamorous, but there's a lot of, uh, you know, when I was at the white house and I was in the West wing and I got to see the president's staff and I got to see the man work

and I was like, you know, you have no idea what this pressure, like, and I'm going to criticize him. I mean, I may not like his policy on certain things, but this guy's working harder than me. And he's taking, you know and he's getting more gray hair. He's getting hits by everyone. Yeah, everyone at all times. In fact, one of the staff members told me, we have a national security threat every single day that the president has to review. Matt, 365.

Oh, sure. Right? And you imagine. What do I have to take action on or not take action on? What's serious enough? Yeah. I get the chills just saying it. Having seen that man's work environment, and know, and I named my son Reagan.

So it tells you that my politics were Republican until the party became what it is today. Hopefully somebody fixes it. Maybe I'll have a role in politics in the future, but I got to tell you, I'm not happy with the party as it stands today. But that said, I saw the president work and I would hate to have his job.

That's not an easy job. He's not glamorous at all. There are moments of glamour, right? It looks like he's doing the best he can. I say that as an observer. It looks like he's doing the best he can. So I'm doing the best I can. I don't always get it right, but I utilize the data that I have in front of me today and the values that I have and I make the best decision. But sometimes I don't see all the data. Sometimes the two

decisions I have, both of them suck. I just take the best of the worst. Yeah. How do you, I guess, come home at night and cope with it, whatever's happening? I mean, again, the pressure, the money involved, the people's lives involved. How do you – how does a leader – do you think a leader should handle these pressures? Like what should we do as we continue to grow? And you talk about don't believe in your own hype. Can you integrate that in this as well? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's how you go for it.

Don't believe your own hype. So one of my friends, he's an avid – he's a professional poker player. Yeah. And he's really good at it. And he's also a great businessman. And he's like, when you're on a run, you got to be prepared to start having some losing hands and to use a baseball analogy, right? Like if I show up to bat and I'm hitting 1,000, right, it's real easy be like, I'm the best baseball player in the history of humanity. But eventually your batting average

is going to even out to 400 and that's fine. A lot of people don't understand that. Business is like, you're going to have a batting average, right? So one of the things that I tell people in my book is pay attention to your timeline, right? So I started my career 20 years ago in October, which is when my book comes out i didn't even think about that yeah it's my 20th anniversary as an entrepreneur uh and if you look at it over

20 years you know it looks like a hockey stick it looks great but man some of those years and some of those moments in between yeah it yeah it looks like it's dark right there's been times where you know i've had to spend a week, uh, reflecting and contemplating and trying to check my ego. And one of the only reason why I was able to get that big exit when I, the guys at Blythe that bought me try to have me fired. And I write a lot about that. The only reason why I have the money I have in the company that I have today is because I said, you know what? I'm just going to let these guys walk on me. I'm going to let them, I'm going to let them spit on me. I'm going to let them do this. And I'm just going to let them do it because I said, you know what? I'm just going to let these guys walk on me. I'm going to let them spit on me. I'm going to let them do this.

And I'm just going to let them do it because I know in the long term I'm going to win. And I told one of my friends, and he told me, he's Cameron Forney if you're out there, I told him when this was happening, I'm going to buy them from the inside out. They don't understand that I have a contract right there on my hands.

I'm going to build so hardcore that one day it's going to turn around. I'm going to own that company. And that's what happened. Now that said, not everybody has that kind of structure. And I had some great advisors. I've had great attorneys, great team members, partnership with Todd Gergen and the Gergen family. I've been blessed to be at the right place at the right time. And when I see a mentor like you, I do everything I can to add value and then get my investors returns. So I've gotten people, one of my friends loaned me a hundred grand when Vice Alice needed money. And I gave him back 3.7 million in cash without a contract. He gave you a hundred grand. I gave him 3.7 million cash back.

And he gave me the a hundred grand. He said, I know you'll take care of me. We don't need to do a deal. And I took the percentage of money that I earned with this a hundred back. And he gave me the 100 grand. He said, I know you'll take care of me. We don't need to do a deal. And I took the percentage of money that I earned with this 100 grand, and I gave him 3.7 million cash back. I wish I was that guy. Get you 100 grand right now. I'll get you 100 grand right now. Nowadays, I have enough money that I don't need.

You don't need that. You need investors. Yeah. And I know what I'm capable of. I can do a lot with 100 grand. Sure, sure. Back then, I wasn't sure what I could do with it. Now that I know I could turn that into a lot, I'm a little smarter with my investment deals.

Who do you think – this might be not a politically correct question, but men or women, who do you feel are better attributes in general to lead? I think women are better leaders than men for sure, 100%. Why? Well, I guess a woman – and I'm a science geek, so you're going to have to forgive me here when it comes to – so one, I'm very spiritual, but I believe in evolution because I've studied – in fact, when I was in community college, I thought I was going to become an archaeologist. I love studying sciences and all kinds of sciences. And if you look at how we're designed as a species, you know, men are designed to hunt and bring back that food to the village. Women are designed to lead that village, to take care of those kids and children and so forth, take care of the elderly and make sure that they serve the village. And that's what a leader should be is a person who serves the village.

And some of us men, you know, we're designed to go hunt. And that might be that we're great at sales or that might be that we're great at, you know, at being singular in our way. Now, you can unlearn that type of stuff because that's as much culturally as it is genetically. But there's an element of genetics that plays into it, I believe. There's a wiring, right? It's transferred. I mean, behaviors are a wiring, right? It's transferred. I mean, behaviors are learned and transferred.

Genetics are transferred. You know, it's like why would an animal be naturally afraid of a human if it's never seen a human? It's because somehow, you know, that information was transferred in the genes. So there's information transferred in the genes in our evolution that, you know, that I think makes women better leaders than men. Have you ever thought about having a CEO, a woman? Yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah, 100%.

Some of my top executives in my company are women. In fact, my team is mostly women in terms of my inner circle. Same here. Yeah, because I can be that. I have a very emotional side to me. I'm a mama's boy. I was raised by two women. But I also have a very very emotional side to me. I'm a mama's boy. I was raised by two women. But I also have a very dominant masculine side to me where I could be highly competitive and perhaps my blind spot of not having empathy or not understanding some of the dynamics that are at play.

And so my best advisors are females. Yeah. I want to shift a little bit and talk about masculinity. Yeah. Because you went through a phase in your life where you lived a rock style lifestyle. Yeah. I want to shift a little bit and talk about masculinity. Yeah. Because you went through a phase in your life where you lived the rock style lifestyle. Yeah. Right. I still live it.

Right, right. I just live it a little more healthily. A little gracefully, right? Yeah, gracefully. But there were months or years where you were going out and partying. Yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. Girls you can't remember names probably and having sexcapades and experiences.

Not sexcapades. Okay. Not sexcapades. Okay. Experiences that were – I mean, listen, I've taken it to my – I have values. I was raised spiritually. I've taken it to the edge of my values. Sure, sure. You're on the line, right?

Yeah. I know where the other side is and I chose not to go there. Sure, sure, sure. Why – I know not to go there. Sure, sure, sure. Why? I know what you're thinking. I told him there's some questions that are off limits. That's all right. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you for honoring that. Sure, sure, sure. I'm curious about, you know, I want to talk about masculinity and what your definition of masculinity is, how you were brought up thinking what it meant to be a man, and if it's evolved over time now that you're a father. Yeah. So I was brought up, my dad was a terrible example of that subject. He would make misogynistic jokes. So my mother, she went through a lot of hardship. She was beaten. My dad would use her as an example. If i was at the dinner table and my mom talked with her mouth open he would smack her in the face no way oh i mean hard like oh my god yeah i mean it

would be like uh the hardest slap in the face to get to have a lesson for me to see you don't talk with food in your mouth right that's the guy that i dealt with um you know and he'd make you know all kinds of jokes about you know woman should be in the kitchen and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so he beat my mom up so much that I basically disavowed anything that he told me at all and hated every philosophy and everything that he gave me whatsoever. Although he did give me a couple of things I give him credit for, which is he had a level of work ethic and ambition at the time that showed me a way. he had a level of work ethic and ambition at the time that, you know, that showed me a way and he was a smart guy in terms of his, his intellectual smart, but then emotional intelligence was zero. So my definition of masculinity is probably vulnerability, right?

Like I'm a completely opposite of most. I think the most powerful thing a man can do is hold back his tears because he feels so much pain and feels, you know, you know, feels what's going on in the world. Right. And he's holding that back because he needs to show strength, but he feels it, but he wants to be strong and he doesn't want, you know, like you, you heard me, you saw me holding back tears. Right. So my definition of a man is one that is vulnerable, but it's strong. Right. One that is, that is empathetic and tries to understand the situation

but knows when to take command and make it happen if it's needed. One that defends his family, one that makes sure that his children are fed no matter what, right? One that makes, you know, that's a leader of his family and, you know, a person perhaps that has dedicated their life to service. You know, when I meet a serviceman or a police officer, my brother-in-law was a former chief of police. It's like, I thank them. You know what I mean? I went to Colonel Ernie Banks at West Point's

ceremony of retirement where they made him a general. That guy's a man. That guy has sacrificed his entire life, given service, been in combat. Like my definition of a man is a person of service, right? And a person who doesn't, you know, a lot of people just take from this society. And we live in such a beautiful society. It's easy to do that.

My definition of a man is somebody, whatever they take, they give back tenfold. Yeah. Was there ever a period in your life where you felt like you weren't living up to that definition? I mean, I think that the key, the interesting thing about values as you grow is you change those values. You have a set of values

that were given to you by someone else. Yes. And then all of a sudden, you get intellectually smart enough to start asking, are those really my values? Yeah. Right? Or the rules of our society

are made up of people no smarter than you. At some point, you realize that. And then you agree, hey, I agree with that rule, or I agree with that value. And when you agree with it, then you'll check yourself and hold yourself to it. But you'll never be 100% there, right? So the key is, is when you're not there, you go, I'm not living in my values right now. And you try to move back toward it. When you're there, you feel good, but you might have 10 different values. And so you got to constantly adjust them, right? Because sometimes I might say, well, I have a value of family and spending time with my

son, right? That's part of my value system is quality time with my son as a value system of mine. But then all of a sudden I'm on the road for five days while I'm FaceTiming with him, but that's not quality time. Plus, he's not really engaging unless you get him kind of in your arms kind of thing. So then I say, wait, I'm not living my values and I have to make these adjustments and shifts. And then the interesting thing is, is when you declare a new value, right, new value, like you declare a new value system, like I'm going to not get caught up in my own hype, right? Well, the day you declare that, you're caught up in your own hype.

The reason why you declared it is because you're caught up in your own hype, right? you're caught up in your own hype. The reason why you declared it is because you're caught up in your own hype, right? But then you're doing it as a way for people to hold you accountable, especially if you post it on Facebook or you let your friends and family know. You're saying, hey, I want to be held accountable to this new value. And then you start to go through the slow process of knowing when you're not because you're aware and then trying to move toward it. But you can't just declare a value and expect to live it that second. You declare a value or you adopt a value or you realize that you haven't been living to one. And man, all the time I've had to check myself for that.

Yeah, yeah. Generally, when you're in these rock bottom moments, it's because you're not living to some sort of value system that you should. And you don't realize it because it might be something that knocked you off that value system and you don't understand why. You're aware of it you're not aware you don't know frustrated why is my life right now you just keep digging the hole right and you don't understand the hole gets deeper the hole gets deeper the hole gets deeper well for someone who's not aware of it how do they get out of it then well for one if you're in a hole and you're feeling pain all

the time and and you're you know and you're you're broke and i mean i've been there i talked about my book i went bankrupt i've had all kinds of challenges. You got to basically realize I'm in a hole and I'm going to quit digging, right? And so it's like, you know, and everybody talks about like hitting bottom. The title Rock Bottom was inspired by J.K. Rawlings when she said rock bottom became the foundation

for which I built my empire, right? You know, she tells us. Yeah, it's a powerful quote. Yeah, she tells a story of which her sitting in a cafe, she's got a baby, you know, she can't afford, been denied by publishers and she's writing Harry Potter. Right? Crazy.

It's crazy. So it's like, so my goal with the book is for people at a rock bottom moment to know like, this is it. This is the greatest moment of my life. This, I can change right now. I just got to declare it to be that moment. Otherwise, it's going to happen. You're going to keep digging, and you're going to find that bottom somewhere.

And my hope is I have a sister that's on and off the American – on and off the most wanted list for the county we grew up in. She has never found the bottom yet, but she's gone. And I've tried my best to help her, but I know she's going there. And so I wrote this book because I want to stop people from digging. Have them, you know, to each of us, my rock bottom moments might not nearly be as bad as someone else's. It doesn't matter. Pain is only, you know, the meaning you give it, right?

I want to help people stop digging and start, you know, growing. For those that have a family member who might be in a similar situation as you where it's just like, man, they just never figured it out. They keep making that same mistake. They keep being a victim or suffering or going through pain or challenge after challenge. It doesn't matter how hard you work to like be there for them. What advice would you give to someone? I wrote my book for that. And I'll tell you a story about nothing to lose, which is fascinating.

And I get these emails from all around the world because the book still sells well. And it's all around the world. And I got an email the other day from a woman. And it's a touching story. And I plan to read it to camera later. But she had made the decision to commit suicide. She was a survivor of 9-11. She was in the – when the World Trade Center collapsed, she was a part of that.

She lived and she had all this huge regret that everybody died. And she started doing drugs. And one night she's doing drugs and she has a bottle of pills and it's over. And she goes to do her last line before she says goodbye. And she sees underneath it is an orange cover and it's my book. And she picks it up and starts reading it. an orange cover and it's my book. She picks it up and starts reading it.

And so anyways, I, I, she got, after she read the book, she made a decision that she was going to live. And I, I, I,

you know, that's why I write these books, right? Because, you know, I know how hard it is when you're in a position like that. And, and,

you know, and, and so I guess, you know, I don't know. I don't know the answer to the question of what do you do? Get him a book, put him in front of, you know, I don't know. I don't know the answer to the question of what do you do? Get him a book. Put him in front of, you know, find a YouTube inspiration.

Find out something that's going to resonate. Put music in their ears that's going to help reprogram them. Because these people are just, they've adopted bad programming. And they just got to get reprogrammed somehow, right? It's challenging. Yeah. I've always found that, like, the people closest to us may never listen to us, but maybe they'll listen to someone else.

That's it. Give them a catalyst. Give them the book. Get a copy of the book for them or whatever. A podcast, like you said, or something that could be a potential. At my event, single mothers show up with their kids and they put that child in front of me. I'll give you a story.

It's interesting. Akon, the world famous singer. So his mother is one of my team members at Vysalis and her son is Akon's son. And she came to me and said, my son loves your book. You know, we signed one to him. I'm like, of course, like anytime I have that privilege to do it.

And the other day, you know, Akon came in the office and, you know, and it was just a special moment to see a single mother bring her kid that she wanted to show another reference to. Because most of the time, kids don't listen to mom. Kids don't listen to dad. I certainly didn't. So you got to get them in front of other people. And then when you do that, a magical spark might occur. And that's what happened to me. My mom got me in front of a guy I would listen to. And as a result of that, I had a new model, a new example.

You had a mentor early on that really helped you, right? Yeah. Well, at 17 years old, my mom put me in front of a guy that I'd finally listened to. I wouldn't listen to teachers. I wouldn't listen to police. And all of a sudden, I'm sitting in front of a guy and I'm like, I'll listen. You respected him for whatever reason. I respected him.

And he had the right style. He was disarming. I was a thug. I was listen. You respected him for whatever reason. I respected him. And he had the right style, right? It's like- You were nice to him, right? Yeah. He was disarming. Like I was a thug. I was mean. I was a fighter.

He was a flamboyant, laughing, big eared, short, bald guy that had all this love out of him and just wanted to help. And so I was like, huh, this is interesting. I'm going to listen to this guy. It wasn't some authoritative figure trying to tell me what to do and tell me that I'm about to ruin my life. And it wasn't my mom harping on me. And all of a sudden I listened to this guy and I became a student. And like the old proverb goes, when the student is ready, the teacher appears, right? And that's that. So you just got to put your students in front of as many teachers as you can until that student is ready

and that teacher appears. Well, you're a pretty big teacher right now to so many, even though you're still a student in a lot of ways. Yeah, I'm learning. But what would you say is the biggest conflict that you face on a daily basis, an internal conflict? Yeah, internal conflict. When I'm not with my son, I wish that I could have found a way to have him in one – have one household. And yesterday he said something to me like, why can't we just all live in one house? And I got to explain to him these types of things, right? You, his mom, and him.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, why do we need two houses? You know, his logic. Back and forth. Like, does it make sense? You know, and I bought him a really nice house because I wanted him to know that mom and dad are equally important. And, you know, one's not. I wasn't married to her. And so I went out of my way to give as much as I possibly could to make sure that my son and his mother had a great environment and that, you know, and then, you know, and that he would obviously see my environment.

But that said, that's the biggest conflict is like – because a lot of people don't understand this. When you're a single father and I go – like for example, if I take a day out of Los Angeles to go on the road, that's a day I don't see my son. If I only get him half the time and I'm taking one of my days, now I'm down to like a third of my time with him. If I take five of my days, now I'm down to 10%. I get to see my son 10%. And so if you have a family together with a child, it doesn't make sense to you. Why wouldn't you go on the road for five days or 10 days? Because you get to see him the other 15 days or 20 days of the

month. But if I go on the road for 10 days, I only get to see my son for another five days that month. So that means that month I saw my son for five days out of 30. That's not enough time to develop a young boy, right? He's seven years old. He needs those lessons that I give day in and day out. So the biggest conflict that I have is I want to go on the road and see my people. I want to go help and lean in and work with their families. And then the other conflict is, I can't take my son out of school because he's an autistic child. Like every minute counts right now for the future. His neuro connections are wiring,

his esteem is getting created based on the friends that he has. I pull him out from his friends and his teachers and the IEP group that serves him and helps him and that's damaging. So like, that's my conflict, right? You know? So, you know, every time I go on the road, if I do give a speech, like that's taking something really, really out of me. And I'll do that. I'll make that trade. If I know I'm going to make an impact, like a real big impact, right? Because I know my son is going to see that example one day and say that was an impact.

But when I do that, if I, one, I won't do it if there's no real impact associated. And then a lot of times, sometimes people, they'll host an event or whatever and ask me to come speak and I'll come speak at it. I'm like, man, they didn't take as much time and put it into this event as they should have. Because I took all this time away from my son to go there and you didn't figure out how to properly introduce me or properly start. Right? You know what I mean? Exactly.

That's the worst. You've been there, right? It's the worst, man. It's like someone who doesn't even know who you are has a note card. She's like, okay, come on stage. Yeah. And you're like, ah, you know, I put all this work in preparation, time away from family. Flew here.

Yeah, yeah. Flew here and, you know, to give an impact. Yes. But that, you know, I. But I love impacting people. And sometimes I'll bring my son out on stage and I'm trying to teach him. Yes. He's gone out a couple of times. One time I was at an event.

I was telling the story. And he's backstage. And he refuses to come out with me. And I'm fine with that. I'm like, all right. I'm going to go up there. And he's like, I want to come. I'm going to come.

And he's like, nope, not coming. Right? I'm like, stage fright. And I'm like, all right, no problem at all. I go out there. I'm talking. I up there. And he's like, I want to come. I want to come. And he's like, nope, not coming. Right? Stage fright. And I'm like, no problem at all. I go out there. I'm talking. I started talking about my son. And all of a sudden, he runs out from the crowd, comes up on stage, and gives me a hug during the speech.

That's cool. And then runs away. And I was like, I remember it was one of those moments where I just stopped. And I couldn't, I mean, I teared up. And I was like, guys, give me a second here. It's got to be the best feeling. Yeah. Well, it was a shocker.

I got, I, yeah, it was a cool feeling. And a lot, you know, you know, there was, um, I don't know, 10,000 people, you know, that, that went into a standing O and it was crazy, but it took me like two minutes to regroup to live that moment. Sure. That's amazing. Yeah. Do you feel like it's more challenging to sustain a loving, committed relationship as a leader of a big company or a CEO?

And you connect with a lot of CEOs who have big companies. You're in that space. What's the theme? Do people have the common challenge or they have it figured out? Yeah. Well, sometimes people are lucky in that they find their soulmate early. And so they're their soulmate early. And so they're part of the process.

And so they've been there since the beginning. They've helped them build. They've helped them build. And they're that anchor windward for that CEO. Like, for example, my mentor, Bob Gergen, the Wharton School of Entrepreneurship is called the Gergen School. His wife, Pam, she's a brilliant intellectual. She held down the house while he was out there building the empire. They raised two great children, Todd Gergen, one of my very best friends, and Rob Gergen, Todd's brother, also a close ally and confidant of mine. And it's like

they had that foundation where they did it together as a family and they created a very, very successful family. And the two kids, Todd and Rob have taken that on. So that, that scenario works really well. I didn't find that early on. So, you know, obviously now in dating, it's difficult to explain to somebody, Hey, you know, you're, you can never be my first priority until, you know, we figure out a whole lot of stuff together. First thing we got to figure out is, you know, if you like the way I parent and if I like the way you potentially parent, second thing we got to figure out is, you know, if you like the way I parent and if I like the way you potentially parent. Second thing we got to figure out is if you understand that I support not one family, but I support a thousand families and that, you know, at Christmas time, those presents are either under the tree or not, you know, based on the work that

we're doing here right now and you supporting me to go on the road or you supporting me to do this because those kids are getting fed on Hanukkah or Christmas or whatever the holidays are as a result of their employment with me. And if I make a bad decision, it hurts them. You've got to have the clarity, the energy, the focus, the passion. Yeah. I can't have somebody texting me during a board meeting saying – interrupting me. And I've had those situations where it's like it's a tough juggle. to me, you know, and I've had those situations where, you know, it's like, it's a tough juggle.

So last time I was on your podcast, I told you my biggest challenge was relationships. Two years later, it's the same thing. You know what? It helps me write. So I write about this stuff. That's good. Yeah. It's good to talk about, you know?

Yeah. They say all art comes from some sort of, you know, internal pain or internal frustration or internal desire, right? What do you think it's going to take for you to resolve this or to find a partner that is a great match? Yeah. To all the women that I've ever dated, it's not your fault. It is me that is the problem. I'm clear on that now. Yeah.

Because you care more about the business, your vision, your son than a partner right now. Yeah. Cause you care more about the business, your vision, your fam, your son than a partner right now. But although you're conflicted internally, because you know what that brings value, the fulfillment that brings, right? Well, no, I know I will be at my best. You know, if you, the, the, the book, think and grow rich has a, as a chapter about sexual transmutation or something like that. So the energy that I have to put into dating takes away from my energy, you know, to build. So I know much energy. Yeah. A lot of it. Um, you know takes away from my energy, you know, to build. So much energy. Yeah, a lot of it.

You know, and so, you know, right now I've, in writing the book and everything else in my life, I've just said I'm not going to pursue that right now because it's too important for me to educate my son. It's too important for me to, you know, to build my business. And, you know, and I'm in the middle of a turnaround at Vysalis, right? So right now I got to go out there and I got to serve other of a turnaround at Vysalis, right? So right now, I got to go out there and I got to serve other people. I can't be focused on me. So it's been weird. I quit dating people. I quit even engaging, right? You know, and I, you know, I've actually started having women become my friends now, which is really cool. And I'm not dating whatsoever. So, you know, after the book's done and all the other work I got to do, you know, who knows, maybe I'll get back on Match.com or something like that.

I like it, man. Do you feel like having a partner will propel you into another level? Yeah, 100%. Really? The right partner, I should say? Yeah, yeah. But it's tough to figure out. It's not so black and white, huh?

Well, it isn't because I'm a math guy, right? One of my philosophies is the path is all math. And if you just do the mathematics about the population, the age, the requirements of emotional stability, intellectual stability, beauty, values, value system around subjects like money, around children, around this, that, and the other, you got to find something that mathematically is a relatively tough equation. Because love is not enough sometimes, right? You can't love somebody that – I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if you can love somebody that doesn't match your value system. It's easy to fall in love.

You can love them, but it just doesn't work as efficiently as it could, right? Yeah. I love everybody. That Will Ferrell movie, what's it called? The basketball one where he plays a basketball player. I forget what it is. I know what you're talking about, though. He had this thing.

The phrase was E-L-E. Everybody love everybody, right? Yeah, yeah, player. I forget what it is. I know what you're talking about, though. He had this thing. It was the phrase was ELE. Everybody love everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love everybody. But, you know, to have a partnership is different than, you know, my family is a business. You know, everything I do is a business, you know.

And so to have a partnership, it's got to run like a business. And my dream, though, is I'll tell you this. My dream is this. I want to make enough money and find the right partner that helps me give it away. So I want to make so much money. And then on the other side of the family that I have a partner that's helping make sure that we give it away with the same level of intentionality, with the same level of effect and the same level of focus and commitment. So if I make it, she gives it away, and we come home over to the dinner table,

and we talk about how I helped the foundation and what the foundation did today, and it's a team. That's my dream, but that requires me to make a whole lot of money, and that requires somebody to understand my philosophy and value system around it. I have a unique one because a you know, a lot of people, I don't know, it's very unique

just because having come from being absolutely poor to where I'm now, you know, my relationship is a little different. A lot of people have a hard time understanding.

You know, I bought a woman a first class ticket with me to Bali and she didn't, you know, she didn't appreciate it and I was like,

do you know, my mother never had more than 600 bucks in the bank. Yeah, you gotta appreciate it. And here I am spending $50, was like, do you know, my mother never had more than $600 in the bank. Yeah, you got to appreciate it. And here I am spending $50,000 getting you to Bali, and you don't appreciate it? Like, I can't. I don't understand it. So anyway, so it's tough.

And then, anyway, I could go on forever about this. What do you say to someone who says, well, you know, you look at a relationship as a business, like a marriage or a partnership or whatever, as a business. Maybe they think that doesn't sound so loving or I don't know, the right thing. What do you say to someone like that? It's definitely not the notebook. When I write my romance novel, it's definitely not going to look like the notebook. Sure. What do you say to someone that was like, oh, that's not the way you should think about relationships as a business? I listen to people and believe me, when you're on social media, you get lots of advice on this subject. And frankly, as of right now,

it has served me well. I would tell you I am fulfilled. I have an element that I'd like to add to my fulfillment and I think I'll be even more fulfilled, but I'm happy. I'm happy. Today, I woke up, I went on a hike with one of my dear friends. You know, I got a great workout in, I got to swim in with my son. I got him off to school. I had a fantastic meal. I'm sitting here talking to you. I'm, I'm helping people change, you know, uh, their lives. I mean, I have a great life, right. And I'm able to feel very fulfilled. I know that that I'll have an amplification effect, but I'm not, I'm not searching for it. You know, I just know that I have to become the person that I'll have an amplification effect, but I'm not, I'm not searching for it.

You know, I just know that I have to become the person that I need to become. And I need to be exposed to the person that, that, that is the right person for who I become. Yeah. Yeah. I like it,

man. So that work, I'm going to take a sip. Yeah. Yeah. This, this, this commercial is brought to you by neon.

Cheers. I like this stuff. Okay. Final few questions. All right. I always feel like I could go like two stuff. Okay. Final few questions. All right. I always feel like I could go like two, three hours. Yeah, man. Because we have these conversations off camera all the time.

And I just feel like we never get to resolve it. It's constantly like learning and sharing. Well, have me back on. Have me back on. Well, you got to write a book within before six years. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I did just before we go?

I realized I'm alive again. I had no idea when I put the pen down on Nothing to Lose that my art, the way I express myself, the way I resolve conflict, the way I kind of rationalize

and then understand perhaps bad decisions, that's through writing. So I'm committed to continuing the writing process this time around. I don't know how long it's going to take

for the next one to come out, but I could tell you this. I'm, I'm an author, I'm a writer and, uh, and this is my art. That's cool, man. Yeah. Yeah. You've done great stuff and everyone needs to get the book. Thank you. Um, final few questions. What are you most grateful for in your life recently? Uh, Oh, my son the other day told me, um, my, so my friend, rich Paula is at my house. I'm giving my son the other day told me. So my friend Rich Paula is at my house. I'm giving my son a lesson. He grabs the camera and takes a picture or puts it on camera. I have no idea.

And my son's sitting on top of my kitchen counter, and I'm sitting there at the computer, and he's showing me something on the computer, and it's scary images from Five Nights at Freddy's, which is like these really scary things. And I'm like, wow, this is scary. And he goes, you told me to face my fears, and so I'm facing my fears. And it was the cutest thing in the world. And I was like, wow, if all he learns is face your fears. So I'm grateful to Rich for capturing it.

I'm grateful to Reagan for actually hearing the words I said and applying them. And that's on the family level. On the business level, Gerard Adams started Elite Daily after reading my book. He gave me a testimony that he read the book, started Elite Daily. I invest in the company and he's a lifelong friend.

I'm grateful that people like him reach out to me with their business plans and put me in a position where I can be like their Sean Parker to Mark Zuckerberg. That's who I want to be as a venture capitalist is I want to find an extra art out there that the other VCs won't see or don't understand because I'm a guy's guy and a man of the people, so to speak, and I'm happy to tell them what I would do if I were them. And so I'm just grateful to the inbound people that invite me to look at their companies and seek my advice so that I can help them do the same thing I would want, which is I give them the same advice I would ask for.

That's great. That's great. This is called The Three Truths. I don't know if I asked you this last time. Did I? I don't remember. I don't think I did. It's called The Three Truths.

I ask everyone at the end this question. Let's say it's the final day for you many years from now. All your books have been erased from time. So all the lessons you've shared are gone for whatever reason. And you get to write down three things you know to be true about all your experiences in life that you would pass on to your family and the rest of the world. And these will be the only three things that they read about you as your

beliefs, truths, values. Got it. One, learn the rules so you can break them like an artist. That's Picasso. Learn the rules so you can break them like an artist. That's one. Number two, family first, right? Now, my business is a family, so I integrate that in the same thing, right?

Because since I didn't have family, I see you as family. Yes. You're my brother. I've got probably, Reagan calls so many people uncle, Uncle Lewis, when we were with him the other day. There's Uncle Lewis. All right, we are one big family.

I believe we're all interconnected as human beings. And so family first, but your family isn't just your blood, right? And then number three, I would say, you know, I would say, number three, I'd say, uh, uh, you know, I would say, uh, number three, I'd say leave the world better than you found it. Those are powerful. I like those simple, man.

You didn't need to write the book. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. I hadn't thought. Yeah, there is no, this is all filled with lessons. The last book was about, you know, how I did it. This book is about how they can do it too, so to speak. Yeah. Before I ask the final question, make sure you guys get the book, Rock Bottom to Rock Star by Ryan Blair. This is going to be a huge hit. It's a great read. Make sure to check it out. Some powerful lessons. Buy it and send a tweet

right now about the interview, what you liked the most from this interview. Thank you. It's at Ryan Blair on Twitter. Yeah, on Twitter, I'm at Ryan Blair. On Facebook, it's at RyanBlair.fans. On Instagram, it's at Ryan Vaisalis. At Ryan Vaisalis. We'll have it all linked up here in the show notes afterwards too.

Before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you for a moment, Ryan, for your incredible heart. Thank you. You've got such a big heart, man. You care so much about your team. Yeah. You care so much about your family. You care so much about your family. I've seen it firsthand many times.

Thank you. You care so much about your friends. You know, the amount of love you've given me has been amazing over the years. And just the friendship we have. And you as well, my man. Thank you. Yeah. And I want to acknowledge you for writing another big hit, man.

This is a great job. Yeah, you know, but I need people's help, man. This is it. I can't do it without people. I want to get this story out, and I want I need people's help, man. This is it. I can't do it without people. I want to get this story out, and I want to change a lot of lives. And that's it. I don't do this for profit.

I do this to try to change as many lives. God has given me adversity for some reason, and I believe that reason is to share with people how I got through it, the mistakes that I made going through it, what I learned, and then to help people through their adversity too. Yeah. Well, you've done a great job, man. I acknowledge it. I'm just starting, man. I'm just starting. Thank you.

Final question is what's your definition of greatness? What's my definition of greatness? Anybody who goes above and beyond the call of duty, right, consistently to show up for their kids, to be the best teacher they can be, to, you know, to, to be the, you know, live life like an art and like a science, right? And, and it doesn't matter whether you're rich or you're famous or you're this or you're that, if you're doing the very, very best, you, in my opinion are great. And that could be the best valet and he loves his job and he's fulfilled doing it. And he does it good. Like I see that

person is great, you know? And, And so my definition of greatness is a person that's just operating at a level that is beyond what everybody else could even imagine because they really take personal pride in what they do. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. I love you, man. Thank you.

Yeah, thank you. Yes, let me know what you guys thought of that. For me, I love connecting with Ryan. I love to be able to just hang out with him whenever I can, go on hikes with him, and just learn. He's got so much information. He's created so much, and he's such a giving human being. I really appreciate all that he does for so many people.

If you enjoyed this, make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 388. Share it with your friends. Post this on Twitter, on Facebook. If this is your first time here, guys, we get over 1.3 million downloads a month for this podcast because of you, because of the movement of individuals around the world looking to take their life to the next level, looking to turn their challenges into their dreams and figure out how to turn the impossible into possible. We are bringing you inspiration, knowledge, skills, tools, resources, and stories that are going to help you unlock what's inside of you and making that dream come true. It's because of you,

we're able to bring on incredible guests. You know, we just had on Meatloaf, the previous guest, and had an incredible interview. The next interview coming up, we've got UFC world champion TJ Dillashaw. We're bringing on incredible people to reveal how they've done it. Continue to spread the message of greatness. Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes. Share it with your friends. Leave a review. Do whatever you can to get this message

out there. When you spread the message of inspiration, you're supporting and being in service of those around you. This is the time to do it. Make sure to pick up a copy of Ryan's new book as well, Rock Bottom to Rock Star. This guy is a legend and he's doing some incredible things. So make sure to give him some love and send him a message on Twitter or Instagram or Facebook as well and let him know what you think. I'm so pumped for what's to come and I'm so excited that you're here on this journey with me. So thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. I'm so grateful for you for listening today and continue to keep coming back because I'm going to give you my best if you promise to keep coming back. So with that, you know what time it is.

It's time to go out there and do something great. Outro Music you