The School of Greatness - 455 Cesar Millan: Train Confidence & Become the Leader of the Pack
Episode Date: March 8, 2017"You have to become a great follower before a great leader." - Cesar Millan If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/455 ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is episode number 455 with number one New York Times best-selling author, Cesar Millan.
Welcome to the School of Greatness.
My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro-athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur.
And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message
to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness.
Thanks for spending some time with me today.
Now let the class begin.
I am so excited about this one.
I have loved the dog whisperer for many years.
Cesar Millan is a hero to me for all that he's doing for not only pets but also parents
of pets and for those that don't know who Cesar Millan is he is the number one New York Times
best-selling author public speaker and the internationally acclaimed star of Cesar 911
as well as the original animated host of the doger. He brings more than 25 years of dog experience
and his status as the most recognized
and sought after authority
in the field of dog care and rehabilitation
directly to communities terrorized by unruly hounds.
His newest show is called Cesar Millan's Dog Nation
and it's on Nat Geo Wild.
He's also got a new book out called Lessons from the Pack,
Stories of the Dogs Who Changed My Life. Now, why do I get excited about Cesar Millan? Why
am I so pumped for this and why I've been trying to get Cesar on for the last couple of years,
actually? For one, I believe leadership is everything and leadership within ourselves
is the most important thing. And if we cannot lead our personal lives, how are we going to be able to lead our partners,
our family, our friends, and our pets, our dogs, right?
And how many of us have dogs that seem to chew on everything, seem to go to the bathroom
everywhere, never are obedient, are always kind of crazy all over the place, barking
all the time
and doing things that we don't want them to do. How many pet owners are there out there that has
that challenge? I love watching Caesar because it's more about the way of being. It's the energy.
It's how you show up. It's not necessarily the things you say or certain actions that you take.
It's how you're being. It's who you're being
in all areas of your life that determine whether something is going to have a great result or an
average or poor result. It's your way of being. And in this interview, we talk about how to train
confidence in human beings. Also why humans need training more than dogs, how to to have loving relationships in all areas of your life.
We actually talk a lot about relationships because it is a relationship world.
Also, how dogs helped Caesar heal from his divorce, which I thought was powerful to learn
about.
And how to understand the psychology of a woman and how to be a great partner as a man.
Ladies and gentlemen, I think you guys are going to enjoy this one.
I'm super pumped about this.
And before we dive in, I want to give a quick shout out.
We had, I think, 30 reviews over on iTunes this last week.
So I want to give a shout out to the review of the week from Ryan Evers.
He said, while finishing my final year of college, I never thought I'd be double majoring, one from my university in business, but the other in greatness that I have been learning from Lewis Howes' podcast from the past handful of years.
Having now listened to every one of his episodes, I can honestly say that I've learned so much valuable insights and wisdom from the diverse of individuals he has interviewed over the years. I started questioning why I spent so much money on my education because at times I feel like I'm
learning more from his podcast than any lectures I've ever attended. If you have not subscribed to
his podcast yet, what are you waiting for? You won't regret it. P.S. He also asks his followers on social media what questions he should ask certain people
he has on the podcast.
And he actually looks at them because he recently used mine.
Give him a follow on social media as well.
So Ryan Evers, thank you so much.
I appreciate the review.
I appreciate you listening to every single episode.
That's 455 episodes now.
You are a true fan of The School of Greatness and it meets the
world to me. If you guys have not left a review and you want a chance to be the review of the
week where I announce you on the podcast, then make sure to go to itunes.com slash greatness
right now and leave your review for the School of Greatness. Okay, guys, it's time to train
confidence and become the leader of the pack.
And without further ado, let me introduce to you the man of the hour, the one, the only, Cesar Millan.
Welcome, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast.
I'm very excited about our guest.
Cesar Millan is in the house.
Thank you for having me in your school.
Yes, thank you so much.
And you have been an incredible inspiration to so many people for many years.
Your TV shows, all the work you do to rehabilitate dogs and humans.
And I've told you before the show that I've seen you a few times around town.
It's always been fun to watch your journey.
And your story is just so incredible.
What you did to cross the border early in life to come here.
Sacrifice.
Sacrifice, right?
And how did that process even start?
How did you have the vision to come here?
And what was the dream always?
I think the beauty of immigrants is the dream that we live in,
and the thirst and the hunger we grew up with,
and all the possibilities that can be created because you're in the bottom of the pack.
So the fact that we're in the bottom of the pack,
it allows us to dream to be in the middle of the pack
or the front of the pack.
So I think it's a blessing for us
to master having no money
and having all the possibilities that you can think of
because you become a dreamer Because you become a dreamer.
You know, you become a dreamer.
It's when you have everything, the dreams, you know, you start dreaming.
And the whole essence of life goes away or you don't get to taste,
you don't get to be there for others.
You know, so you go back into a very instinctual self.
Water, food, shelter, you know, and helping the family.
That is the basics of life, if you think about it.
So we get to, by having this low-income exposure,
we get to maintain our instincts and our love for the family.
And what was the dream for you then?
The dream for me has always been to make sure
that I support my parents at one point.
That's definitely
the focus um i i never thought about me first it was always about the pack first and so i i needed
to find out something that i really love and i wanted to do something that i truly love i don't
want to work in a place that i hate you know because and then i value energy so much that i
want to be very effective not just by
being a good worker but also providing the right energy for the rest of the team yeah did you always
see yourself as a natural leader or is that a skill that you've developed i think my mom would
say yes you know i think my mom would say i'm always always uh breaking the rules the boundaries
the limitations you know and she always say you know you have to master the rules, the boundaries, the limitations, you know, and she always say, you know, you have to master the rules before you break the rules. And so you have to be a
great follower before you become a leader. So you hear those things when you're little and you say,
okay, but you don't understand why you're breaking it, you know, and so then you realize
that you're breaking it because you were born to lead and there's nothing you can do about it.
It's just, you're born to lead. That's the beauty of America.
America immediately honed into that, and that kid has that skill.
But we don't have that in our country.
We don't have places where they can redirect that energy.
So often what happens is they suppress that ability.
Really, the talents, the gifts that you have?
That's right.
Really?
Yeah, because you have to follow.
You have to follow, you have to follow, follow, follow.
And sometimes, no, they're constantly telling you what you're doing wrong
versus what you're doing right.
Really?
Yeah.
So that was your entire life until you came here, or?
Well, yeah, that is, I mean, I had a really,
my, the way I grew up was awesome.
You know, I was more important,
but with a very wealthy family
and a way where grandfather, grandmother,
father, mother, mother aunts and everybody
raised me so i'm i'm one of those uh uh back in the days ways where it take a village to raise a
child i grew up that way yeah you know what i mean so that for me is a lot of wealth because now i
see it the most of the kids in america are raised by the nanny right so there is it's a wonderful
person but it's not blood right it's not it's not the same religious belief, political beliefs,
or economical beliefs, or moral beliefs, right?
So they take care of the kid, but they don't enrich their soul.
So I grew up that way.
And so because I became the third generation
where we went from the farm to the city.
It was my grandfather who died at 105.
My dad is 83, super young.
And now I'm the 47-year-old third generation that follows this way of being.
So because they exposed me to the city lifestyle,
it gave me that opportunity of like, oh, so it's more than just dirt.
Right, right.
So here you guys have television and you have fans.
You know what I mean?
You have showers and you have toilets.
And so you have all this evolution thing.
So that's when I started working, actually.
I became one of those kids that package the groceries
when you go to a store, for example, here, Ralph's.
So I started working.
In Mexico.
Six years of age.
Yeah, that's legal over there for a kid to work.
Six.
Yeah, that's legal.
Yeah, you have to help.
Wow.
There is no government help.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
There is no, like, vouchers that you get.
Right, right.
So everybody has to pitch in.
So that leadership of providing something in return,
that's what I channeled it,
to be at service to the family,
to make sure that I help my mom.
And who was the most influential person for you growing up?
I think it varies because my mom was the big support system,
the person who believed in me.
So the spiritual aspect
was my mom and then the love of animals was my father and their respect to nature was my
grandfather so i have the instinctual world the emotional world and the spiritual world what i
was i didn't have available was the intellectual world that's something that you gain in school by
books right but i have the three most important you have the heart i have the soul and the heart
and the instincts the survival right so you have to believe in yourself you have to love yourself
and you have to have instincts right so if you have those three you can you can survive in the
streets which at the end of the day i i started a business in the streets literally right la yeah
yeah literally from england to south central amazing man yeah um and what was the spiritual L.A., yeah. Yeah, yeah, literally. From Englewood to South Central. Amazing, man. Yeah.
And what was the spiritual lesson that she taught you, your mom, the most, that was like the most resonating with you?
Well, you know, as a good Mexican mom, believe in God is a must.
It's not even like, you know, let's do research about it.
You don't question that.
And so it's very important because you do have to believe in humanity.
You have to believe in God.
You have to believe in yourself.
And so that's the spirituality behind that you are good enough.
You know, you don't require more things.
You don't need to have a certain clothes to feel confident about things.
You can just believe.
And that energy is something that is very contagious,
which is a lot of immigrants have that energy.
You know, like they believe they can better your life or they can help you and you can feel it.
Yeah.
How did you develop this belief in a new country?
Because you didn't speak the language that well, right, when you first came here?
I didn't speak English at all.
You know, I jumped the border.
I had $100 and that $100 I gave it to a coyote guy.
And so I come to a country.
They have no idea.
The only thing I knew is what I wanted to do.
And what was that?
I wanted to be the best dog trainer in the world.
Yeah.
Were you a trainer before then?
I was a groomer.
I was a groomer.
I was a vet tech without a license.
Here you have to have a license to be a vet tech.
Over there, you're just
the guy who helps dogs you know the kid who helps the vet the vet here you have to have a license to
be a vet tech you can't just do it because you want to volunteer and over there over there you
can do it so i i had a lot of knowledge about how to deal with dogs who are beat who the vet is
going to touch certain parts and you know know those dogs are never being touched there.
So I was able to convince them to stay relaxed.
Really?
Yes.
How did you convince them to stay relaxed?
Well, I grew up with cows.
I grew up with chickens.
I grew up with donkeys.
I grew up with goats.
So I convinced bigger species.
So to me, a dog was a piece of cake.
Wow.
Yeah.
So you got to convince a cow.
To relax.
To relax.
You have to convince a chicken to relax.
But you start. Well, we're not in a rush, number one, on a farm. You know what I mean? All relax. You have to convince a chicken to relax. Well, you start,
well, we're not in a rush, number one, on a farm.
You know what I mean? All right. You got all day.
When they're tired. Yeah.
So you develop this, you know, very much
take your time, start at a distance,
move in when the cow tells you to move in
and slowly massage and go through
and let them know, you know, visualize what you want
and the cow starts trusting you.
So what we develop is trust.
In a vet's office, they don't have time to develop trust.
They have time to-
They have appointments.
That's right.
Got to get in.
It's very intellectual, you know what I mean?
Which is totally a foreign world for animals.
They don't know you have a schedule.
Hold them down.
Hold them down.
We have 15 minutes.
And they're like, hold down.
I don't even know you.
You want to touch me there?
So it's a very rushed environment.
The city creates a very rushed environment,
which is very detrimental for animals.
Because animals love to, you know,
stop and smell the roses.
So how do you create trust with an animal in a moment
if you only have a little bit of time
but you're not on the farm?
Well, it depends how bad the animal feels, you know.
Because when a dog is, everything is at my intensity,
zero, five, 10.
So if a dog is at a level 10 of fear, you'd need a little bit more than 15 minutes you know right and the owners
have to understand how how big of a role they play before they bring a dog to the
vet and a lot of times people don't bring the dog to the vet just to visit
the bed they just bring it because as a is an emergency see to see to it right
so you have to make sure that you bring the dog to the vet so the dog associates the vet with a happy place or a place where he went. Before it's needed to be there.
Yes. Come in, give it a treat, hang out. Especially if the dog is afraid of the
place, you know, so the dog is going to anticipate, you know, I'm afraid nobody
really pays attention to that and they still touch me, you know. Yeah, so if
the owner actually understand that by bringing the dog and this positive association, the dog will learn to relax.
And nobody takes the time, you know, nobody takes the time unless it's for themselves.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Okay.
So your dream was to be the best trainer in the world.
Dog trainer in the world.
And when you moved to San Diego originally, correct?
Well, that was the first step.
I never heard San Diego originally, correct? Well, that was the first step. I never heard San Diego before.
What I wanted to go was about Disneyland or Hollywood
because that's where Rin Tin Tin and Lassie were from.
So I grew up watching a show when I moved to the city
and TV was available.
I started watching Lassie and Rin Tin Tin.
And that's when I was fascinated about the dogs on TV.
And I said, well, when I grow up,
I'm going to go to America and learn from the best.
Because every movie we watch for American people,
they're heroes.
And then the dogs, they're doing this amazing thing.
I didn't know they were trained.
You just thought they were like gifted animals.
I just thought they were like,
you said Lassie, go get the fireman.
Lassie understood fireman versus police officer.
Right.
You know what I mean?
They just specifically go get you the fireman.
So that's the that's
the naiveness side of me which it actually helped me a lot because through that naiveness i actually
believed it and i came here and i realized that it wasn't real it was it was a tv show you know
what thanks to that i i got you here thanks yeah it got me here and i and start and i started seeing
how people relate to dogs.
Right.
Why people are being pulled by dogs in the street.
Why people, when you knock on the door, the dogs start barking.
Hold on, let me put the dog in the bathroom.
All this chaos, and we don't have chaos.
Dogs in Mexico are skinny, but they don't have psychological problems.
It's true.
Whenever I'm in New Mexico, they're just like trotting around.
On the street.
Dogs in America are chunky and I get to have a TV show.
So dogs, right?
So dogs who are actually look,
you know, from the outside,
extremely well fed and have beds.
And, you know, a lot of dogs inherit money.
They have birthday parties
and things like that.
They're not bad.
Those are my clients.
The dogs that have all this wealth
are my clients.
And the skinny dogs in Mexico, they don't need me they just need food that's it otherwise they
they know how to do they're happy either yeah because they they are using their own natural
talent to survive and that's greatness to me okay and so what did you start doing when you were here
you started finding people to work with or started no no no what did you start doing when you were here? You started finding people to work with or started finding dollars to work with?
No, no, no.
What did you start doing as an immigrant?
You start sweeping floor.
You start watching cars.
You start watching dishes.
Those are your two go places.
Yeah.
And how long was that for?
About a month, two months.
Yeah.
And that's when I found out about the 99 cents hot dogs at 7-Eleven and 9 p.m.
Two hot dogs for 99 cents.
That's a deal, dude.
That's a deal.
Because you just have to make $1 a day.
That's it.
And it's easy for me because I'm a hustler.
So I'm going to make $1.
No problem.
You're fed every day.
I'm going to eat.
In America, I'm going to eat.
Wow.
And then you invest $1.69 or something like that and you get the big gulp.
Would you do refill?
I never heard.
Free refills, right?
Freaking refill in my life.
So you just buy it once
and then you go back
as many times you want.
It was mind-blowing.
I invested once
and I get sort of
the rest of my life.
No wonder all the people
in the street had a little.
Big gulps.
Yeah, big gulps everywhere.
That's funny.
And what about the first
kind of opportunity with dogs where you finally got to either make a little money or you
got to see a little opportunity i made a lot of money i made a lot of money because remember i
was making a dollar to five dollars a day and so i stopped in this place uh grooming salon and i
learned my first sentence in english do you have application for work this is here in la no no we're
still in san diego okay so that was my first opportunity. So I'm walking around because you never get to work in the same place you work a
day before because you're illegal, right? So yeah, they don't want to get in trouble. And it's always
an empty space. The people didn't show up or things like that. So the bottom of the pack
were jobs that are always available because they pay so little. So people just quit.
And so for us, it's a perfect opportunity.
So then I started moving along in San Diego, in Chula Vista, actually.
And I stopped by this grooming salon, and I said,
I'm going to practice.
Do you have application for work?
I know dogs.
So I went in there.
Two Caucasian ladies were in the front, and I said,
do you have application for work?
Older ladies and they start speaking to me in English and you see me like
I have no idea what the hell is that.
You just learned that sentence, ma'am?
But they brought me in the back.
They had a Cocker Spaniel
and when they
moved to the dog, to the Cocker Spaniel,
the Cocker Spaniel launched on them.
And I said, I see why the dog is launching on them.
They're moving too fast.
And so I went in there, and, you know, very Charlie Chaplin.
You know, it's all very hand signals and energy.
Wait, wait.
Un momento.
Yeah.
That's right.
Corona.
Everybody understand that word.
So I went in and grabbed the dog, and I started grooming the dog,
and the ladies were in shock that, you know, this strange guy, new guy, you know.
Had the touch.
Guy from the street was able to convince this dog.
So that day, I made $60.
Because in grooming, they pay 50% of profit.
Wow.
You know, which I remember that I gave them $50 back, and I said, I can't take this.
It's too much money.
Right?
Because I thought that I was only going to get that job for that day. Right. And I felt that I gave him $50 back and I said, I can't take this too much money. Right? Because I thought that I was only going to get that job for that day.
Right.
And I felt that I was getting overpaid.
Right?
$60.
I just spent like an hour and a half or something.
And so I said, no, no, no.
You have to keep it.
This is what you earn.
Right?
And so in my head is, why do I want so many hot dogs?
I just want my two hot dogs a day.
Yeah.
And so the ladies asked me to come
back the next day and that's where i i stay there permanently for a while and they let me take a
shower that's when i took my first shower in the united states on a bathtub yeah i was sleeping
under a freeway so i was homeless they find out that i was homeless and they let me sleep inside
their their their pet shop so I gained
their trust the point is I gained their trust and they don't know who I was right so it's something
they felt about me they they felt they they can trust me with their keys and so from there I made
a thousand dollars by working every single day a thousand was a day no not a day throughout
throughout like three weeks gotcha wow yeah throughout three weeks pretty good that was my dad wasn't didn't make a thousand dollars in a year wow yeah i'm making a
thousand dollars like that's a lot of money so do you remember miller opus or you're too young
you're too young so it's like tj max and marshall's right so it's the equivalent of that
and miller opus was the place where you can buy Levi's. And I always wanted an original Levi's, right?
So that was the first thing I got.
Because I always had the hand-me-downs from my cousins and all that stuff.
And so I got my first Levi's and my first shirt.
That's what I did with my $1,000.
And then I saved the money because I knew that I needed to go through San Clemente, you know,
because it's another immigration point.
And you can only pass it through a bus.
But you can't.
So that's when you get to.
It's very important to know people in the street because they are the lookouts.
Right.
And then they tell you when their immigration is not stopping buses.
So that's the day that I took the Greyhound and moved to L.A.
I moved to LA.
I arrived at this place where all the people were high.
Yeah, downtown LA.
Sure.
What do they call it?
What do they call it?
The place where all these people are?
Skid Row.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's when I find out.
Skid Row place?
I don't know what they were.
I've never seen addicts on the streets.
I never, never in my life I'd seen addicts.
And I see people selling things in Mexico.
You see people selling.
But you've never seen, like, an addict.
And these people were camping.
You know, camping.
It smells bad.
So I'm walking in the middle and said, oh, I guess this is L.A.
And so I move out of there. The next day, I got the yellow pages,
and I called a shelter because I wanted to start.
I wanted to start working.
Dog shelter.
Dog shelter, yeah, dog shelter.
I wanted to start working.
And I got a job as a kennel boy or kennel person.
I was 21 at that time.
Sure.
Wow, okay.
And so you were working with dogs there?
No, I was cleaning kennels.
Oh, you were working with the dogs.
Oh, wow.
Because I'm an immigrant.
Sure.
I'm an immigrant.
I don't speak English.
Right.
So there is no evaluation of me as a person.
It's more of an evaluation of me as a perception.
So he can only clean kennels.
But then I started working with dogs, and I started gaining a reputation,
because the dogs behaved different from me,
just like they did in the grooming salon.
And that's where I started creating my own clientele.
Really?
Yeah.
That's why I moved to Inglewood.
So one of the guys there said,
you know what, you're good.
You're good with dogs.
Come and do it in my house,
and you can start working with the
people around englewood that's how it happened wow and so you started working with the people
at this one house or and then it started to evolve from there or yeah he gave me a place to live
really he gave me a place to live and his name was ross a mexican jewish guy yeah weird right
but that's the first mexican jewish guy i ever met in my life. His name was Ross, and a cool guy. He had a dog named Syke, a Rottweiler. So I became
his dog trainer and keeper and all of that stuff, and he gave me an apartment in the
back of his house.
Just to keep the dog.
Yeah, so I just had to pay $300 a month. But that's the first time i started actually paying for for an apartment so it was it was it was all uh unusual for me and shocked but i managed to make it happen and when did you
realize that like this could be something like a big business for you or this could be something
that could be your life's work that is paying more than you know 50 bucks a day or whatever it was at
the time but really making a movement around it the way you have.
Yeah, the movement came later.
The awareness of I can provide a different service
than what the people in America are used to.
Because everybody in America goes for a vet,
a groomer, a dog trainer, right?
And especially in LA, dog walkers were not so popular like dog
walkers are popular in New York although workers are popular in Buenos Aires
Argentina right yeah so over there people are dog walkers are popular but
in LA they were not as popular so I start doing dog walking services $10 per
dog super cheap yeah right and so I will do 30 dogs, 40 dogs. Yeah. That makes good money.
I charge low.
At a time?
But in quantity.
Yeah, at a time.
30 dogs at one time walking.
Which that exactly.
30 leashes.
Not all of them.
Many of them were off leash.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That's when they started saying that I was crazy.
Because there's this Mexican guy who can walk a pack of Rottweilers.
Off leash.
Off leash.
Who usually need a leash. But dogs don't need a leashers. Off leash. Off leash. Who usually need a leash.
But dogs don't need a leash.
Right.
Well, with their owners, they need a leash.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
But in reality, dogs don't need a leash.
So that actually became the reputation that I built.
But it was between this crazy guy and this, I don't know what he's doing kind of thing.
But the good thing is I was in the hood.
And you can break a lot of rules in the hood. i do it in beverly yeah it would be like terrorists right
so here would it's in the hood it was like this mexican guy walking with a pack of dogs and he's
crazy you know but but then i started working with the dogs in the end you know from back then the uh
the great western forum was was in england so then all then all the Lakers would send the assistants to
find out about this guy
that people talk about. So you know, you
develop a reputation. Of course. You develop
this legend thingy in the
streets. Mythical Mexican.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right.
That's a good nickname for you. Mythical Mexican.
That's right, yeah. So that's
how I started. Wow. And so I
used to work from Englewood to South Central. Then
Andre, my first son, came into my life. And then I was, I need to be a dad. So I would bring him
with me and the people would see this guy with a kid and dogs. And then Calvin came around.
And then by that time, Andre was already using the bike. And then I was pushing the stroller.
That's when I started using rollerblades.
So I would push the stroller, right?
And so I have my two boys.
One is on the bike.
The other one is on the stroller with a pack of Rottweilers and pitbulls and German Shepherd.
That was their life, by the way.
That was my boy's life.
They grew up with a pack of 65.
Holy cow.
I grew up with eight.
They grew up with 65.
Wow.
Because the dad was rescuing dogs and rehabilitating dogs.
So that became my job.
You know, that's when I say, okay,
I'm gonna train people and rehabilitate dogs.
I'm not gonna train dogs.
So that was an opportunity.
That was an empty space that nobody was actually aiming for.
Everybody wanted to train dogs.
And I said, why would you train a dog
when the humans are the one that causing the problem?
Right, because you train the dog,
but then the human is gonna keep causing the problem, right?
That's right, because the human hasn't changed.
So when you choose to train dogs, the dog normally goes to a school, right?
With someone else training them.
It's living with somebody else, and the dog gets used to the handler.
But it doesn't mean the dog transfers that experience into your house, right?
Because the dogs don't rationalize.
So if you send the kids to school, yeah, the kid is going to come up with the knowledge
and he can teach you as a parent, right?
But a dog is not going to come and say, hold on, you're holding the leash wrong.
You're not saying the command right.
You know what I mean?
You're losing your patience.
The dog is not going to give you the feedback.
So a lot of times people were just pretty much uh not wasting but in a way not really gaining the investment that they were making
yeah because they were not growing themselves so i said let let me save you some money let me teach
you and then we work work with the dog so the approach was a lot more more much different and
what's the mindset that either you go into maybe maybe it's just so second nature for you now, you don't even have to go into it with a mindset, but what should be the mindset of an individual going into, let's just do a simple task of walking their dog?
Should they think a certain way or act a certain way where preparing to go?
The less you think, the more effective you are because you not, thinking can also make you question yourself.
Or you can waste one second
in the animal world,
one second is a lot.
So it's actually about being.
Being versus thinking.
So how should I be?
You should calm your emotions
and only think what you want to accomplish.
Right?
So that's why I say calm and assertive.
So it's calm and confident. So when you're thinking, you want to accomplish. That's why I say calm and assertive. It's calm and confident.
When you're thinking, you're hesitating.
You're thinking too much,
too long, and the animal says, you don't know what to do.
Doesn't trust you.
It's not that he doesn't trust you, it's just
they don't really know what the hell you're doing.
You're thinking,
but they don't know you're thinking. What they know is
you're not coming
out with a conclusion or with a direction.
No certainty.
No certainty.
And no leadership.
And leadership is protection and direction.
And that direction has to be given at the moment it's needed.
It's not until you're ready is when it's needed.
That's a big job to be a leader.
It's for the survival of your family.
And this family is a dog, and he functions based out of instincts, no thinking.
They don't debate things.
They just fix things in the moment.
Yeah.
It's all about your way of being, your energy.
Yeah.
It's that simple, by the way.
It's that simple.
We are the only species that follow unstable pack leaders.
Animals, it's impossible for them to follow instability.
Impossible.
They don't follow instability
because instability leads them nowhere.
So they'll do their own thing or they'll...
Or they take over their relationship.
Right, right.
So in my case, you know,
in my case, you can clearly see
how the dog is in control of their lives.
So outside, we were talking to a gentleman that you introduced
me and he said my dog loved love for me to drag him that's his perception right right why would
a dog would like to be dragged right you know and then he come out with oh he's doing sit-ups that's
what he's straight to his core it was all very intellectual you know it made no sense in the
animal world yes but in his it made a lot of sense.
What if someone feels like, you know, I feel like I'm certain, I'm confident, I'm leading,
and I'm, you know, poised and graceful, but it's still like, feels like I'm dragging in
some sense.
My friend, animals don't lie.
So you can think that you are.
It doesn't mean you are.
Yes.
If you come from ego, selfishness, and envy,
you're not going to be very clear about how you feel. A lot of times people come from ego saying,
I am confident, but it's ego talking for you versus just being clear about it.
So that's why a dog is a perfect teacher of how you truly feel. They don't know how to lie. Only
humans lie. They have no idea how to lie they're the most honest man uh friend you
will ever have wow so how do we how do we train uh confidence in human beings or well first before
you race in the ego before you train awareness needs to rise you know without without awareness
there is no possibilities, right?
And then through that awareness, then the human takes responsibility.
Then once the human takes responsibility, then you enter into surrender.
That's when you can teach.
You can't teach a mind that knows everything.
That's a fact.
You can't.
So fight, flight, avoid, and surrender.
You can only teach the mind to surrender.
The mind that fights, flight, and avoid, you can't.
You can't.
You can't.
So once they surrender, they're aware.
Once you surrender, what happens is you open up.
That means you're willing to follow.
Follow what?
Direction.
What direction?
Yoga, meditation, math, whatever you want.
Whatever you want.
Because now you open your mind to absorb information.
Once you absorb it, then you have to feel it. Once you feel it, you open your mind to absorb information once you absorb
it then you have to feel it once you feel it you're clear then you execute feeling and thought
you can do things without the feeling it's not going to look good right yeah dancers are a perfect
example right they have to feel the music before they execute the act. Singers, you know when a singer is nervous.
They can sing.
They can think they're singing, but you know when it feels good.
It's a feeling.
It's an art.
It gives you goosebumps, right?
It kind of gives you goosebumps when you feel it.
When you see it and you know it.
It connects you to it.
It touches something deeply inside of you, the soul, the heart, the body, and then the mind.
The mind is a flesh.
It's the last thing.
The mind is a second thing.
But really, the deep side of you is the soul, the spirit, and the heart.
Where passion lives.
That is really what we have to always connect.
And everything else is secondary.
Powerful.
What's the thing that you feel like you get to train yourself on
or that you get to continue to open up and surrender to?
Is there anything?
I think how people view things around the world.
You know, my show is in 120 countries,
and every country has its own perception of words,
its own perception of how to be with dogs, you know,
and ego gets in the way.
And it's how can I influence?
How can I practice patience?
How can I practice calmness
and stay confident with the message?
Because I know I can create world transformation.
That's my goal.
My goal is not to train people anymore.
It's my goal to transform the world,
to at least practice something so simple with a dog.
So to remove chaos between human and dog.
That's my goal.
And it's possible because a dog is willing to go there.
Yeah, it's willing.
A dog wants to live a joyful, harmonious, happy life.
That's it.
He doesn't care about wealth.
He lives with homeless people.
He doesn't care if you're perfect
he lives with handicapped people
you understand?
so most of the time people can't accept the fact
they don't have enough money
so they postpone happiness
or they don't feel good enough
that means I have to work on my appearance
I don't accept myself for who I am
so they're not happy with themselves
therefore they don't love themselves.
And that becomes shameful.
So often humans live in this shameful way of being where a dog knows that you feel bad about yourself.
So how can he follow that energy?
How can he feel comfortable with that energy?
How can he find no hostility in that energy
when you're being hostile to you?
So the dog, when he expresses aggression,
it's because it's directly from the human who he lives with.
See, aggression is not the problem.
It's the outcome of a problem.
And a dog doesn't know how to lie.
So he's going to express himself,
not with intentions to hurt people.
That's why I don't think we have problems with pit bulls or aggression.
The dog is the only one who's being honest to how he feels and who he lives with.
So it's reflection.
It's time for reflection.
It's time for us to reset, take the time, breathe, relax, and really step back,
become a follower or a listener or a student.
So that's what the new book is about,
the lessons from the pack.
What can you learn from a dog, right?
But if a human ego is too much in front,
they're going to say, what can I learn from a dog?
Life.
Everything.
What about that?
What about that?
What about if I'm not selfish?
Well, and then you have a loving relationship
because in order for you to have a loving relationship,
you have to take in consideration the other person's needs and wants
when you're selfish it's all about you so unconsciously my clients are living a very
selfish way of being so they focus on fulfilling their needs first and foremost unconsciously
unconsciously you know because they say well i want my dog to be my baby i want
my dog to be my accessory i want a dog to be my companion i wanted it is i i i i i right it says
what can i do which a dog always always comes with this that disposition how can i help you
right a dog is always there for the pack and human is actually more for self nowadays yes
so the human is actually acting more
like a cat than a dog yeah even though humankind loves dogs more than cats i do love cats though
no no but i'm saying there's more people there's more people there they actually have more dog
people than cat people and cat people don't really hang around right so there's no cat
so you guys are very limited on the social exploration or cat cafes.
You can't bring a cat in a cafe.
You know what I mean?
So the cat behavior is a very self, you know, it's away from, right?
But the cat is programmed that way.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the cat.
I'm saying the cat is programmed that way. That's why it's's anything wrong with the cat. I'm saying the cat is programmed that way.
That's why it's easier to live
with a cat because it's more independent.
That's the word they always use
with the cat. It's just the cat doesn't
really have that innate
necessity to be with someone
versus a horse, a goat,
a pig, a chicken,
an elephant, a dog.
That human,
that species requires another, something to be with.
And if you don't like humans, you're going to gravitate to another species.
That's when people become hoarders.
They hate humans.
Right, right.
But they end up having cats or dogs, which is not healthy either.
Yeah.
Crazy.
What's the biggest lesson you learned from one of the dogs you've been with?
Oh, my goodness.
Biggest lesson about life or yourself?
The thing is when you are – depends on what stage of life you are, right?
I mean, when I was an adolescent and I moved from the ranch to the city,
I was bullied because I was the kid that was followed by dogs.
In Mexico, it wasn't very popular to be followed by dogs.
In America, you get to be called a dog whisperer.
In Mexico, you get to be called el perrero, which is actually a negative thing.
And so it depends where you are at what time.
To say that a dog can only teach you one thing
is too limited to the profound experiences of life.
When I became a father, I didn't know how to raise them,
but they knew.
I knew how to raise dogs.
I just never raised humans.
You know what I mean?
When I got divorced, I didn't know how to take an information that I wasn't aware of.
You know, when the kids separated from me in the moment of the divorce, I didn't know how to take that either.
So there's so many uncertainty moments in my life that you really need some wise person or, in this case for me, a dog.
You know, one that will commit suicide.
How do I take that?
Why I feel like a failure?
Why I want to take away myself away from this earth?
Why?
Is that all those feelings?
And who was there every single time?
A dog.
But it depends, you know.
It depends what have I learned.
It depends on what stage of my life you get me.
You know, the good news is I always have a dog near me.
Thanks, God.
You know what I mean?
I went to the White House because of a dog.
I met Oprah because of a dog.
I'm here because of a dog.
You know, I raised my kids.
My kids have a TV show because of a dog.
My parents in Mexico are fine because of a dog.
So I'm the first human human owes everything to a dog.
Let's talk about the, we only have a few minutes,
but let's talk about the lesson that you learned
going through a divorce.
What was the biggest lesson about dogs you learned then?
To accept.
Accept things that you were not in control of.
The acceptance part.
To really go through that. It's almost like you're going on a roller coaster at least for me it felt like i
was going down down down down really yes it's just well your career was going up up up right
yeah my career my career but your personal relationship was my personal relationship
was going down and my career was going up you know so i got to be disconnected
uh at once and um so not to be in tune or aware of when that was happening and um you know that's
and i realized that sometimes um humans are not compatible we were not compatible from the
beginning we try to make it work for the boys but we were not compatible she We were not compatible from the beginning. We tried to make it work for the boys, but we were not compatible.
She was actually a cat person.
Oh.
She was not a dog person.
Interesting.
And you married the dog person?
That was not really good.
That was not good.
But, you know,
it was like,
that's when compatibility
to me became so real.
I always knew compatibility
with dogs.
I always get the right dog
for me like
i really i can have 30 40 50 100 and and i i always get the energy that is compatible to what
i like i love all dogs but a certain energy is going to be easier for me to deal with yeah you
know and and for them and for them vice versa but that's that's when i realized that compatibility has to be have to play a big role
in who i'm going to share my life with in a human form you know and understand you know the the the
the psychology of women is completely different and their goals and their needs and everything
else uh how i don't know what should go but compared to dogs, how is the psychology of women compared to that?
Well, the needs, you know, is dogs are instinctual.
Women are emotional, right?
And so you have to surrender to that.
They're not wrong for it.
They're just that way, right? And so you have to take into consideration that when emotions are surfacing, they're going to have a long time conversation.
Right?
And you have to be in that follower state.
You have to be in a listening state.
Yeah.
And you can't say 30 minutes of that.
So you can't put time.
It could be hours.
It could be days.
It is what it is, my friend.
Yeah, yeah.
So the best thing to do
so the best thing to do is to really be in love with the person you're about to sit down
because the love is what feeds the patients you see it so if you're not in love it's going to be
very hard so you're going to come out with your set of rules boundaries and limitations which
you're not going to allow them to express themselves the way they want to.
So they're not going to feel validated
or taken consideration.
They're going to say, it's always your needs.
So it's like, no, no, I give you 30 minutes.
You know what I mean?
So that's actually very, very important
that I learned through that.
Which I knew how to do it with dogs.
But not with humans?
No,
no.
Really?
I've never been married.
That was my first marriage.
Wow.
You know,
my first marriage,
my first,
in my culture,
we don't talk about woman psychology.
You know,
so we immediately go into training
instead of fulfilling,
which is a big,
bad step
because what I teach the people
is about fulfilling the needs of a dog
before you start to train a dog.
So then I started learning all the parallels that I was doing,
breaking the rules of the nature of a woman.
I always said, never work against Mother Nature,
and that applies to the nature of a woman.
So I learned a lot in that marriage.
And so now in my new relationship, I'm a really good student.
Yeah, that's great.
I have the patience of a saint.
That's great.
And how were you managing your career at the time of this emotional stress and disconnection?
How were you able to stay focused and was it affecting it?
In the beginning i
didn't manage my career it was managed by somebody else so i went into a lawsuit and
i was not in control of my you know intellectual uh uh things you know um and so it so i realized
that so that's the beautiful part about you know uh the what i went through that i realized that
i was not really leading that side of my life. I was pretty much a follower, an employee, which then I find out that a lot of guys in Hollywood
go through it. They don't really own the intellectual property. And so that was a
great thing. And from that point on, I learned, okay, so I have to pretty much understand that
I have to lead that world as well in order for me not to have that experience again.
And so I went back.
I went all the way to bankruptcy.
I already knew how to be without money.
So it wasn't a big deal for me.
And the show was taken off at the time.
Yeah, yeah.
Everything was gone.
It's just I have no money.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
I have zero money.
I have this popularity and I have this relationship
with the networks,
but when it came to money,
working for so many years,
I had zero.
So I went back to my old self.
So it was like slapping the face from life
and like snap out of it
and understand that you have to also
lead this side of life.
So I took it that way.
I took it in a very optimistic, very positive way.
And I didn't really dwell on that one.
For me, bankruptcy wasn't a big deal.
Money is not a big deal for me, even though I make good money.
For me, it's about the goal in life I have, the mission.
Money is a byproduct.
Money follows.
I don't follow money.
So for me, that wasn't so much me.
It was about the pack, the family, the well-being and all of that.
That's why I have such a hard time dealing with because I was doing everything by the book.
I was a good follower.
I was a good team member.
I work hard.
I got great positive energy.
But then this thing happened,
and it needed to happen.
Now it's just the greatest thing that happened to me.
Greatest, greatest thing to happen.
You learned a lot through the adversity.
You learned a lot.
I can help a lot of guys.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
In order for you to help,
you actually have to be there.
You can't just talk bass
because you read a book and you went to school.
If you go through there,
that is the best school in the world
because you can empathize with the person.
I have so many questions I'm going to have to ask you afterwards uh i have three final questions is
that okay okay three final questions uh and before i ask them i want to make sure everyone gets the
book it's called lessons from the pack stories of the dogs who changed my life my life your life
and you also have a new show out right dog coming up dog nation yes and what is different about this
show from everything everything everything number one i'm bringing my 22 year old son on the road as a father i want to
make sure that they continue being a service to the world you know what we do here is it's a it's
a job that changes people's life you know just by sometimes listening sometimes supporting sometimes
you know bringing different points of views and at same time, we have a beautiful platform that can help a lot of organizations
who are doing great things in our communities already.
And so I want him to have that humanitarian side.
Of course, I want to make sure that I honor what people have got to know me,
which is coming to people's home and changing their life because these came to my house.
And I help them.
And then I do live demonstrations in the show where you see in real-time transformations but you can
take you know tips home with it because you've seen this transformation line
okay so you have the three elements that I have done all my life live events in
home consultation and always helping organizations so dog nation is about
that is about making sure they in any kind of situation you can help you know so you have the
fun you have the education and you have the heart that's great yeah and it's on nat geo right now
geo wild not geo wild yes and not geo focused on humans and not your wild focused on animals
wild gotcha yeah gotcha um awesome and where can they learn about you with all this stuff they can
get the book at your website?
They can get it in bookstores everywhere?
What's your website?
We have a website called caesarsway.com.
Yeah, caesarsway.com.
Would you have all the information?
It's got everything on there?
All the information.
We have a community, you know, where people can help each other,
suggest to each other.
I think that is really what I want to convey in the world,
a place where everybody can everybody who everybody can help
just suggestion everybody's suggesting sometimes a certain word changes different understanding
you know yeah okay question number one is what are you most grateful for in your life recently
man my life is so beautiful i am grateful for this moment of being able to speak about something.
They're very passionate about it.
You know what I mean?
I am grateful that my two kids are a contribution to America,
are a contribution to the world.
They are a respectful human beings.
You know, they are practicing a very important part in life, which is to be a good role model.
Calvin is doing the, you know, preschoolers.
Andre is doing the millennials.
And I'm doing the rest of the humanity.
I'm very grateful for that.
Of course, I'm very grateful that my two parents are healthy.
And I'm going to take them to my mom's biggest dream on the planet, which is going to Israel.
I promised that when I was little. And I said, Mom, when I make money, I'm going to take you to my mom's biggest dream on the planet, which is going to Israel. I promised that when I was little.
I said, Mom, when I make money, I'm going to take you to Israel
so you can step on the land that Jesus took.
You know, she's very Catholic.
Sure, sure.
I'm going to be the baddest son on earth.
And, of course, I have, at this point,
the support that I need to continue my masculine side,
you know,
which is my fiance.
She has the feminine energy
that feeds my masculine self.
You understand?
And that for me is beauty.
When I come home,
it's just,
it's a beautiful place
where I feel that I can heal.
I can,
I can re-energize with the feminine energy that she has.
Wow.
And she's very optimistic, very positive, very sweet,
very understanding, very supportive.
I mean, that's a lot of great things.
And on top of that, she's gorgeous.
On top of that, she cooks amazing. On top of that she cooks amazing on top of that she cooks on heels so this is like biggest whisper
so that you know and I have I have great partners I have great team of people
right now you know I am healthy living the dream man
I am
my spirit is really
happy right now
my heart is really
full
my instincts are in
place
and my mind just
creates so many
opportunities
so I am fulfilling
my four worlds
you know
so that to me
is huge
amazing
amazing
so I'm grateful for that
well that's glad to hear that
question number two
is
this is the
last day for you many years from now many many years from now you've achieved everything that
you set out to do you've done tv shows and everyone's seen your shows you've rehabilitated
every human and trained every dog and you know everything you've ever wanted to do you've done
it so that's like a imagination no this is like reality yes like you've ever wanted to do, you've done it. So that's like imagination? No, this is like reality.
Yeah, so you've done everything you want to do many years from now.
Okay.
Oh, all right.
Many, 50, 70, 80.
I conquered China and everything.
Whatever you wanted to do, yeah, you've done it.
Yeah.
But it's the last day, finally.
Yeah.
Right?
And all your friends and family are there.
Yeah.
It's a beautiful-
I'm going to die?
Yeah, it's your last day on Earth.
It's your last day on Earth.
Awesome.
But it's a long ways away.
Yeah, yeah, it's your last day on earth. It's your last day on earth. Awesome. But it's a long ways away. Yeah, yeah, it's fine.
And you've, everything you've ever created, every TV show, book, everything you've got
out there, whatever reason, it erased.
Erased.
It's gone.
Okay.
So people don't have access to the information you've created.
All right.
And you have a piece of paper and a pen.
Yeah.
And you get to write down three truths, The three things you know to be true about your entire experience in life, whether it
be lessons or views on things.
But the three things that is the only thing that people would have to remember you by
is your information.
So what would your three truths be?
Never work against Mother Nature.
Live in the moment and fulfill the needs of others.
That's it.
Simple. Those are beautiful. Yeah. Those are beautiful. live in the moment and fulfill the needs of others that's it simple those are
beautiful yeah those are beautiful well before I ask the third question I want
to take a moment to acknowledge you Caesar for your incredible heart they've
got such a gift of love support generosity and grace I mean you're an
incredibly masculine man but you have such grace in that masculinity and I
think that's what attracts so many people to you.
I've been attracted to your work for years.
I told you before, I've been trying to get to interview you for over two years.
Wow.
And finally was able to make it happen.
But your ability to heal humans and animals, I think, is such a beautiful gift.
And I want to acknowledge you for that.
Well, thank you, my friend.
And the
the third and final question is what's your definition of greatness?
Definition of greatness calm to be calm and enjoy the moment that's a great thing to do
greatness confidence whatever you put in your mind, you can accomplish it.
Patience, celebration of accomplishing goals and having people around to love
and to learn to love unconditional and to learn to love yourself.
I think that to me is greatness.
There you go.
CJ Milan, thank you so much for coming on.
I appreciate it.
The hard work is just repetition of what you do.
So as long as you are a working person, you're going to work hard.
So that comes with the formula.
It's just that's what you're going to do.
Remember, people are consistent,
but they're sometimes consistent of doing the wrong thing.
So even lazy people are
consistent yeah you see it so they work hard to be lazy yes so the hard work comes along just by
the fact that you're doing something every day yeah you know but it's what you put in your in
your goals what is your mission is it your mission to help others was it your mission to help yourself
so if you help if your mission is to help yourself you're not going to go too far if your mission is to help others you're
going to fulfill spirit heart instincts and mind because that's when you make a bigger difference
that to me is greatness it's just the greatness to help others and and for me has been dogs right
to help dogs and then through that i help. And then through that, I help humans.
And then from that,
it's a roller coaster of like so many things I can do.
I can create a great world.
Why not?
It's available.
I love it.
Hey,
I'll let you keep talking to people to keep sharing.
I appreciate it.
Thank you,
man.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it.
Oh,
guys,
this one was a fun one for me.
I wish I had another hour with Cesar.
I wish I could get more out of him and ask him some more questions, and I'm going to bring him back on at some point
because I feel like we just scratched the surface.
If you loved this, if you got value out of this in any way,
please let me know over on social media,
at Lewis Howes and tag Cesar Millan as well,
and share this with your friends.
I reply to pretty much every tweet that I see that anyone posts out with my name and
the link to this on either the show notes or on iTunes.
So go ahead and tweet this out.
LewisHowes.com slash 455 right now.
I want to hear from you.
I want to connect with you.
I'm going to respond to you or like it at the minimum, your tweet.
Post it on Facebook.
And a lot of you are tagging me in your Instagram stories and on your Instagram posts.
So do that and tag me.
I'm replying to 99% of people who tag me and say something.
I'm going to reply or at least say thank you.
So if you can, tag me everywhere, at Lewis Howes.
Also want to give a shout out to our sponsors.
Guys, if you are doing your taxes yourself, don't do it.
I'm telling you, it is not worth your time.
Hire someone to do it.
And bench.co slash greatness is going to give you 20% off your first six months when you use them.
You should be focusing on your business.
You should be focusing on building relationships
and using your gifts.
I love you guys very much.
I hope this is bringing value to your life.
And even if you're in college right now,
I hope you're double majoring like Ryan Evers is
from the beginning of this podcast
where you're learning more insights
and you're getting better lectures
than any lecture you could get in college from this show.
It's my mission to bring you the most inspiring information,
ideas, and people on the planet
to help you unlock your inner greatness.
So thank you for being a part of this incredible movement
where we get over 1.5 million downloads a month.
We hit over 30 million downloads recently,
and it's all because of you.
I love you very much. Go be the leader of the pack, and it's all because of you. I love you very much.
Go be the leader of the pack, and you know what time it is.
It's time to go out there and do something great.