The School of Greatness - 49 Josh Shipp: How to Build an Empire of Impact

Episode Date: January 21, 2014

Despite a traumatic youth, Josh Shipp has built an Empire of Impact with the power of vulnerability, effective mentorship and self imposed boundaries

This is episode number 49 with Josh Shipp. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. What is up, greats?

Thanks so much for tuning in today on The School of Greatness, the one and only podcast dedicated to helping you unlock your inner greatness. I'm very excited about today's guest. His name is Mr. Josh Shipp, a new friend of mine. We've had some great conversations, and this episode was a lot of fun for me because I got to tap into really learning about Josh's unique story. And he actually talks about how powerful it is that we all have our own personal story and how we should tap into effectively sharing that story for our business and our purpose in life and the power of your own personal story, really. Then he goes into how to go about building an empire of impact that matches the income and the impact that you want to have

at the same time. We talk about how to discover your why and turning your passion into a profession. So I'm very excited about today's episode. We dive deep in a lot of different things. We also talk about the very end, the power of building a dream and if it's possible to have a huge dream while being in a marriage and having kids. So I get to talk a little bit about Josh's personal story there and what he thinks is possible when you're in a marriage with children if you're going to leave a big mark on the world. So very excited about this.

And with that, guys, we're going to dive right into this. I'm going to get right into it and start tapping into Josh's mind right away. So get your pen and paper out and get ready to take some notes and let the class begin. And welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. I've got a new friend on today. His name is Josh Shipp. What's up, Josh? Hey, man. How you doing?

I am doing fantastic. And unfortunately, you're not in the studio in LA. It's an amazing day. But I believe you live in California, right? Yeah, I grew up in Oklahoma, but met my wife. She grew up in California, so I am delighted that she imported me. Nice. You know, I'm from Ohio, and I moved from New York City to come here for a girl, actually,

that didn't end up working out. But it's been an amazing experience and lesson that I've learned since being here. And the weather, man, it's amazing right now. I'm so blessed. It's crazy how I've become a weather pansy. It's like in Oklahoma, you would not believe the stuff that I survived through. And now if it gets below 62 or above 72, I just become a complete and total whiner. I'm in a winter coat.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and all my relatives are in Oklahoma are like, we hate you. Shut up. Exactly. Well, you've you, shut up. Exactly. Well, you've got an interesting story, man, and I want to dive into more of it today. You're an award-winning entrepreneur and host of a show called Jump Ship on TV. You've actually done a few different shows. You've got a show coming out in the future.

I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about it yet, but it's with The Rock. And you've had an interesting journey, I would say. And what I want to know is, what was it like growing up for you to kind of discover your passion for this type of work you do? You speak to teens all over the world. I think you've spoken to over 2 million teens. You speak at universities, high schools, and really show people how to figure out what they love and make money from what they love. And so how did you kind of get into that? Yeah, so my story is this. My biological mom was 17 when she had me. I think I was sort of a prom pregnancy or something. My mother was abandoned by her mother when she was a baby. And then in turn, my mother did the same thing to me.

She gave birth to me. And then I don't know exactly how this works out, but I guess just got up and left eventually from the hospital. And so I immediately entered into the foster care system. And when I got old enough to kind of become rebellious and angry and oppositional, I very quickly did. And I mean, so much is clear now that wasn't then is that it's like, you know, your mom is certainly one of the people on the planet you're supposed to trust most. And so this was a very early, bold, yelling statement to me is don't trust anybody, especially those that you're supposed to be able to count on. How'd that work out for you? Well, initially, not well at all. I ended up bouncing in and out of about 12 different foster

homes. Most of them were actually great parents, but I wouldn't give them a chance. Again, it's not only that I didn't trust adults that I shouldn't, it's that I didn't trust adults that I really should. Some of these homes were terrible. I was abused. I was raped. I would hoard food because I wasn't sure where my next meal would come from. Sort of just a lot of crazy, crazy, like foster kid, like movie sort of stuff. And then when I was 14, I moved into yet another home. And I thought, here we go, yet another home. I moved into yet another home, and I thought, here we go, yet another home, and these people are going to talk big about how they're going to love me unconditionally and all this crap, and yeah, whatever, let's just get this over with.

Lewis, dude, I would literally keep a notebook of when I entered a home and then when I exited the home by getting kicked out, and I would try to beat my high score. Oh, my gosh. And I would document what technique I used. I mean, I was so emotionally removed from it. It was just like this game for me of like, you know, you act like you care, but I know you don't. I know you're eventually going to give up on me, so let's just get it over. But these final set of parents completely changed my life. They were consistent. They backed up everything they said with their actions, and they backed up all their actions with their words. They were tough and tender,

which is exactly what a kid like me needed, was sometimes to be hugged and sometimes to be kicked. And those two individuals, the Wiedemeyers in Oklahoma, completely transformed my life, completely changed my life. And this is why one of my big things is that every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story because the Wiedemeyers were that for me. And that's been my drive and my motivating factor to do the work that I do with kids and teens and parents is to be that one caring adult for some kid, be it through a message, a book, a show, training other people to go out and do that

sort of work. That's really my heartbeat behind why I do what I do is like I had this insane childhood. And I remember how frustrating and confusing and alienating and just what a complete and total mess I felt like and to have some caring adults who didn't put on a show but were genuine and helped helped me at that at critical time it's like that's what I want to do it's my way of saying thank you to the Wiedemeyers and others like them to help me how old were you when you met them? 14 years old. And, you know, if you think about that, it's like,

here's this 14-year-old showing up on your doorstep with all this baggage and garbage and crap that you did not cause, that was not your fault, but now you've got to deal with it. And, you know, even though, again, they're like two of the finest people on the planet, I pushed them away. I tried to hold them at an arm's distance. I tried to get kicked out of there. I tried everything to, again, let's just get this over with.

I know you guys don't really care, so let's just accelerate this inevitable with. I know you guys don't really care, so let's just accelerate this inevitable breakup. But they just wouldn't. I remember one night I went to jail because I wrote a bunch of hot checks as a teenager. They brought me home, and it was certainly a rock-bottom moment for me. Mom made me stay the night in jail, although she could have bailed me out the night before, which looking back was very wise, sort of making me feel the pain of my own stupidity. And they brought me home that next morning, and I assumed they would yell or lecture, which was certainly in their right. And they just looked at me and very calmly said you can keep causing problems you can keep pushing us away if you want but uh and excuse my language they said damn it josh we don't see you as a problem we see you as an opportunity why don't you start to see yourself like that

um and dude lewis they had probably said that sort of thing to me probably a hundred times um i i know them they're just that kind of of thing to me probably a hundred times. I know them. They're just that kind of people. They probably said it a hundred times. But here I was in a moment where I was actually really ready to listen to it. And in that moment, it's not fair to say in that moment my life changed, but in that moment I made the commitment that my life would change. You started shifting. Yeah.

And then, you know, look, I've done a lot of work with young people who are at risk. And my opinion is you can't change anyone's life. But if you can get someone to make that commitment to begin to accept help, you know, and so then came hundreds of hours of counseling, a big brother through big brothers, big sisters, you know, being more open to my foster parents, to my social workers, to all this sort of stuff of beginning to wade through my own issues. That began that life change. Man, I'm unbelievably grateful for it today as a guy who's married, has kids.

I'm certainly not perfect. I'm certainly flawed in many, many ways, but I'm so grateful to have figured that out and that the Wiedemeyers didn't walk away because, man, it would have been so easy to. Did you stay with them all through college? Well, really, man, I consider them to be my parents today, and they're very much like you come over whenever they come out here to California. So when I moved out to college, I lived on my own or in the dorms or with friends or whatever, but I would go back there during the breaks

and that sort of thing. Nice. Now let me ask you a question about this. Something I've been thinking about lately is the sort of thing. Nice. Now let me ask you a question about this. Something I've been thinking about lately is the story of success with people. And when I think of people with extreme success, I think about them as having extreme pain with something in their life. And do you believe that in order to achieve some type of level of extreme success, acknowledgement, or extreme love, that one must experience the worst of pains that they can experience in order to have that? It's an interesting question. talking about it the other day because I said to her, I said, you know, I'm kind of like worried

as a dad because I feel like so much of my success has come from having an unbelievably rocky childhood. And, you know, I worry about, you know, because our, you know, our, you know, my kids, parents are mostly stable and, you know, things are mostly stable and good. It's like, you know, do I need to start beating them and starving them? Like you know, for them to grow resilient and have all those things that success requires? You know, I don't think it's 100% necessary, but for me, I can certainly see both the positive and the negative side of it. I think you never completely eliminate those issues that you have. We all have them, and it's not father or mother issues,

but we all have those issues. I think you just begin to anticipate those issues. You learn from them. But for me, they still show up. And so I'm incredibly resilient in business. You know, a dozen no's, a hundred no's does not bother me. Because I was given the biggest no by my birth parents, you know, by the people who were supposed to be. So whatever, that doesn't bother me. However, those recurring issues of trust, that bites me in the butt sometimes in business. Because I'm either too trusting because it's like, eh, this seems great.

Or I'm not trusting enough. And I will still from time to time hold people at an arm's length distance. So I think those struggles and challenges that I've gone through have worked both to my benefit and against me from time to time. Do you think you'd be where you are today without them? Let's just say business success. Would you have that without those experiences? I'm not sure. My therapist, and I still talk to my therapist quite frequently,

you know, he says oftentimes the people who have been through, you know, sort of trauma or these sorts of things, there becomes this grandiosity about them, you know, and it's like, you know, I wonder sometimes have I tried to and have mostly successfully built such a public, large-scale, personal brand? In my little niche, I'm very well-known. I mean, not outside of that, but in my little niche, I'm very well-known. Is that a way to try to smoke signal my mother? Is that a way to try to say, you know, either I'm okay or look what you missed out on? Or, you know, is that somewhere inside of me perhaps a motivating factor?

And, dude, I'll be honest with you. Early on, getting in the business that I'm in, speaking and writing and those sorts of things, early on, it was about those sorts of things. It was about me, me, me, me, me, making me feel better, making me look cooler, making me seem more significant instead of what it should really be about, which is obviously about your audience. But in the beginning, my motivating factors were very much around ego and making myself feel better and look better and juking everybody about my

own problems. Let's talk about yours and focus on what's going on in your life because I don't want to talk about mine. Interestingly, anyone who's been through something rough, be it in business, you've had some sort of failure or bankruptcy or personally you've gone through a divorce or something tragic or tragic death or whatever. and opportunities you have to influence someone is to talk about it and not just to talk about it to talk about yourself but to talk about it to illustrate and have the right to call out those challenges in the other person's life and when I started out I didn't talk about any of this stuff I just told you about the first five minutes of this conversation I shied away from it. I didn't want to seem like a whiner. I didn't want to seem like a complainer when ultimately, you know, people learn more from our failures, our screw ups and our hardships than us just always talking about our successes. But I was terrified in the beginning to talk about it. Were you just afraid to be vulnerable?

Well, I mean, part of it was I certainly hadn't worked through my own issues myself, so I felt like I had the struggle there, but no perspective on it. No, like, and here's the insight or here's the lesson or

here's the whatever, so I feel like it would have just been vomiting on the audience. Right, right. Yeah, no hopeful. Exactly. Right. So it was partly that and then, yeah, exactly, partly ego. Again, I don't want to seem like a whiner.

I don't want to seem weak. If I'm on a stage, that means I'm supposed to elevate myself. But really, in my opinion, the stage is not built for the speaker. The stage is built for the audience. It's there for their benefit, not for yours. And so much early on was about me and my benefit. But then I just got to this point where I felt like my message was phony and garbage and me trying to be any and everything but myself. And I said, screw it. I'm just going to go out there and be honest and vulnerable and real and me. And one of the first times I did that, not the first time.

I don't want to lie to try to make some kind of really cool story, but one of the first times I did that, a girl came up to me and handed me a suicide note and said, thanks, I don't need this anymore. Oh, wow. I'd never had anything like that happen. Wow. like that happen. Wow. And I remember sitting in the parking lot with that note, just looking at it. And I was just like, I must have sat there for a half hour. Like I had no idea what to say, no idea what to do. But it, it hit me of like, um, you know, I must be vulnerable. I must be honest. I must be open because I believe when we're vulnerable about our screw-ups, A, we let people know that they're not broken, weird, and alone, that all of us are messed up

and that all of us are imperfect and all of us have those struggles and those doubts. I knew, and in that moment, that was, I'm going to commit to continuing to do that because of young people like this young lady who for whatever reason may think that she's the only one. story and what it means, why we should share our own personal story in a real, authentic, vulnerable, honest way for the purpose of kind of fulfilling our passion and building a business or career or life around that. Why is that important and how do you do it effectively so it doesn't come across as ego or cocky or whatever it may be? Yeah, great question. Well, I think ultimately your story is your ultimate credibility and also a bit of your ultimate unique positioning. Anyone can teach web design or self-help theories or whatever the case may be, business stuff, but your unique perspective, story, struggle, failures, successes, lessons, hardships, ups and downs, all of that, that really, really, really makes it unique, makes it more palatable, and I believe gives you ultimate

credibility. I mean, a lot of people are scared to talk about sort of their failures and screw-ups thinking that it weakens their credibility, but I would argue it does just the opposite. You know, the second you're writing a blog post, speaking on a stage, writing a book, doing any of that kind of stuff, people already, even if you don't see yourself this way, people already put you up on a bit of a pedestal. And I believe your job is to kind of, not in a negative way, but kind of beat yourself down a little bit to remind them that, look, I've been in a similar situation, not your exact

situation. You know, my struggle is different than yours, but I've been through that struggle. And let me tell you about it. Now, it is tricky to make sure that you're using that struggle, that story to benefit. And the way I think about it is, again, the point is not, the point is the audience is not the therapist. The point is to bring up the story and then pause and then as clearly as you can spell out what the lesson is for that audience, for that listener, for that reader. So for me, I mean, something I might say would be, you know, to a young audience might be, you know, maybe you weren't left at the hospital when you were born. However, I know full well there have been times when you felt completely alone. And then I'll try to, I'll do a technique I call barnuming where I try to spell out perhaps inevitable situations.

Maybe your parents recently got divorced. Maybe this thing happened. Maybe that thing happened. Because ultimately the – Something's happened. Yeah, you'll throw it. Yeah, yeah. Ultimately, the message here is use your story as credibility and in order to gain permission to speak directly into that other individual's life. And build trust and all those things.

Exactly. Interesting. empire of impact. And I think what you really mean is how do I make an income around also leaving the biggest amount of impact with what I love doing or what I'm here to do, my purpose, my mission. So how does someone, you know, maybe struggling with their career, with their business, maybe they're just not excited about what they're doing, they've got a crappy boss or workforce that they're in. How does someone, number one, discover what they're passionate about if they don't already know? And then how do they start the process of making income around their passion to leave the biggest impact? Yeah. To me, I almost can't imagine that anyone doesn't know what they're

passionate about. I think most people have an idea. Maybe some people are afraid to say it out loud. I think you'd be shocked, man. When I ask people, what are you passionate about? They just say, I don't know. But you've got to evoke some questions out of them. And then they're like, well, I love hanging out with friends or the beach or eating food. But it's like sometimes people are so shocked or they're just so dulled from what they've been doing for so many years that they're like, I kind of forgot myself, you know, what I love doing. Exactly. Yeah. Or I didn't even think about this thing that I really, really love, which should have been my answer to your question or whatever. You know, I didn't know that there would be a way that I could slowly, eventually earn money doing that thing.

So to me, I think most of us, and I imagine, and I love listening to the podcast as well, I think most people listening to School of Greatness kind of have at least a rough idea of what that is. have at least a rough idea of what that is. So to me, really what matters then is not kind of – it's so easy to see here's where we are today. And ultimately when we're thinking about what we want to do long term, what we do is we look up people online, we listen to podcasts, we read books, we watch shows, and we see people that are – you know, if we're at step A, we see people who are at like step, you know, X in the alphabet or Y in the alphabet, like really, really have established themselves. And the problem with that is it's important to look not at your mentors or

heroes or role models in results, but rather to look at their first steps for two reasons. Number one, if you look at someone's kind of where they're at today, it may be flashy and inspiring to a certain degree, but it's also going to be depressing to you because you're going to think they're so much more confident, competent, have it figured out. They have all these things that I don't have. There's no way I could be like them. But if you research and study them and you look at their first steps, you'll realize they doubted themselves. They failed. They had all those insecurities that you're going through right now. Like all of that stuff was the same. And so I think looking at the end result maybe is perhaps from time to time a nice carrot,

but looking at those beginning steps is actually a better on-ramp for individuals that are getting started. So to me, really the only question that matters is this. What is your next step, and what is the training and accountability you're going to get around that next step? Most people focus on, I eventually want to do blank. In 10 years, I want to do this. In five years, I want to do this. Who gives a crap?

If you do not go to the next step, that B in the alphabet, you're never, ever going to eventually get to the promised land. Maybe you're at a dead-end job and you hate it and it's soul-sucking and all of those sorts of things, but you love graphic design. You'd love to have your own one- or two-man graphic design business. You need to ask yourself, what is my next step and what is the training and accountability I need to get around that? Does that mean I need to learn those skills? Does that mean I need to get a handful of clients on the nights and weekends? What is that next step? What do I need to learn? And who's going to lovingly harass me if I don't get that next step done? What's your thoughts on mentors?

don't get that next step done. What's your thoughts on mentors? Oh, absolutely game-changing. The right mentor will save you years, tears, and dollar bills with whatever it is you want to do. You're learning from someone's successes, from someone's failures. I think it's so crucial. And to me, my personal practice of mentors in my own life is that I have a handful of mentors for different areas in my life that I want to improve. I'm a father and a husband today, and that is very, very important to me, particularly because of the way I grew up. It's a really big deal to me. And so I have a guy in my life. His name is Ken, and I think he's an awesome father and seems like an awesome husband.

He's been married for 30-something years. He's a mentor to me in that area of my life. to me in that area of my life. And then I have another mentor who's a mentor to me in business and sort of building a personal brand, but then scaling it beyond just a one-man operation that always relies on you. And so I think it's so and so important to have those mentors. And I would encourage everyone, yes, having digital or online or at a distance mentors through podcasts or books or online mentoring programs is great. But I would also challenge everyone to have at least one mentor who lives within 50 miles of you, who can sit down with you, look you in the eyes, and tell you those hard truths, encourage you when you need to be encouraged, and call you on your crap when you need that too. Right. Now, I've had many influential mentors, and I've talked about this on my show before,

and I want to know what your advice is to, one, finding the right mentor, and then I guess enrolling them in why they should be giving their time to you for a period of time, however long the relationship may last. Yeah, great question because particularly people that are sort of up and coming or aspiring speakers or authors, I will get approached in all sorts of, as I'm sure you do as well, all sorts of varied ways and tactics and this and that. And what has worked for me to secure mentors and what has worked for others to secure a bit of my time has been this, is that anyone who you're going to want advice from is likely successful in whatever that endeavor is. Very busy. Yeah, exactly. And likely, or not even busy, I don't actually see it as a compliment, but values their time and understands there can

always be more money made, There can always be all that. But there's a finite amount of time. So you must approach these people understanding that they're busy and smart as hell. And they don't give their time up to anyone. Exactly. So to me, you know, sometimes the way that I need to get in that circle is by buying their program or going to their seminar or this and that and just getting around them, that sort of thing, getting on their radar. Or another thing that I will do is I will – maybe I'm going through a very specific issue in my business and I want an answer to it. I will email a question with three possible

responses. So I'll say, I actually just emailed a guy about this recently. And I said, hey, I'm curious how you structure this. Is it A, this? Is it B, this? Is it C, this? Just feel free to reply with A, B, or C. Thank you very much. So I, A, don't expect them to tell me everything. Like, can you tell me how you, from scratch, build a home or whatever? Right. It's like. And you don't give your whole backstory of three-page email and expect them to read it all. No.

You know, and if you have a website or something, like, just stick that at the bottom. If they feel the need to know who you are to make sure you're not going to waste their time or actually have the courage and maturity to implement it. So just ABC because it shows, A, I've taken this ball down the field as far as I can. I'm not expecting you to do everything for me. I've done research about, I've done research about what I think the answer is. That's why I've clearly spelled out an ABC. I just think you're smart enough to tell me which of, which of these answers is right. Because to me and my situation, I could argue that any of them are right. So which one is best? So that's kind of my step one in the process. And then step two is to follow up and thank them after I have implemented the advice that they gave me.

Because I have been so sick and tired of one-night-stand mentees. People who would say, hey, what do I do about this? Well, here's what I think. And then boom, gone. And it's like, you know, man, you didn't even call me the next day. Like, you know, tell me what happened. Yeah, exactly. I know. Um, and so that proves to the mentor, a, that you value them, um, that you value the investment that they made in you with their time. Dude, some of these folks you're going to be approaching are so successful, they could charge you, and they're generating thousands of dollars an hour for their time.

And so if they give you just 15 minutes, they have made a significant investment in you. So I think you must honor that investment that they have given you by showing them, and not for your own gain, not for you, but as a thank you to them. Look, I implemented and here are the results I got. I really, really appreciate it. There's not a bigger pet peeve of mine, I'll speak personally for myself, when someone reaches out and really wants some type of advice or mentoring or something. And they're go-gettery, they come after it, they follow up a number of times, it takes them months sometimes, and then they get what they need or they're looking for. And I give them the time or the energy or the information, whatever it is. And then they go off and do nothing with it. It's the most unsatisfying, like leaves this empty feeling in my stomach, at least, that the person wasn't willing to take action on anything and really just kind of stayed in the same place.

But when someone comes to me and then I give them the information or some type of mentorship and they take action and get results, that's the most rewarding feeling. Absolutely. But when nine times out of 10, people don't take the action and give them that would support them in achieving their goal, whatever it is, it leaves me very unsatisfied. And it's kind of like, you know, you really got to do the right things to get in front of someone I think to make it worth their time and feel valued absolutely and again man just not trying to be so selfish

in that transaction and I have certainly made those mistakes myself being young and ambitious and these sorts of things you can try to like just sprint it when really realizing that this is a marathon. Anyone who's a mentor, anyone that you respect, I feel like you just want to honor them. Honor

them. Honor their time. Be genuine. Don't be crazy and just do this all sloppy. Don't be crazy and just do this all sloppy. Another side tangent of advice would be you've got to realize email is the most crowded channel, and snail mail is the least crowded channel. So if you're having trouble trying to get in touch with someone, try to perhaps vary your channel where it's not as crowded. I once wanted someone to answer a question um and i sent them an ipad with a video on it with my question uh you know an email is going to get deleted but but an ipad's not going to get thrown away yeah someone sent me a laptop

once with a video on it and i was like that got that got my attention. Exactly. It's like, keep the laptop. I was like, all right, thanks. Exactly. You know, and it's not about the significance of the thing they sent you. It's not like, oh, because it's a $2,000 laptop. It's that here's someone who has broken the typical pattern. Someone who's being thoughtful and intelligent

about the way that they're approaching someone that they feel like could offer them some advice. That's really, I think, why people like yourself, myself, and others respond to that sort of thing. It's like if they're willing to go out of their way to do something this creative, then they're very likely going to implement the advice that I give. Yeah, and you don't need to do a whole laptop or iPad thing. I mean, I got an email. What you do for me, I want to be cool about that. It's P.O. Box 530. Exactly. It really moved me. And I was just like, man, this guy took the time. He was so authentic in the video and told me what he appreciated about me. And I was like, who doesn't like to

feel appreciation for what they do? And it's going to make me remember him. He didn't ask me for anything either. He just said, I want to say thank you. And that was it. And next time he emails me, I'll probably respond and want to give him some of my time.

So that's definitely some great advice. I appreciate that. What else do you think? Do you feel like mentorship is then one of the keys to getting to where you've been so far in your, let's say, business success and kind of like TV show success, book success, that type of thing? Yeah. I mean, I know without question it was. For me, I think back to about four years ago when I had – essentially what I do being a speaker and an author, or at least that's just what I was doing back then, I had had some pretty significant success in that and sort of checked off a lot of those crazy goals that I secretly actually never thought I would accomplish. But then I kind of woke up and realized that I have essentially a high paying manual labor job. My wife and I were about to have our first kid. And the idea of

leaving my family now then with a child and family being so important to me, you know, family being so important to me, you know, consistently to have to earn a living was, just to be honest, very, very heartbreaking and just sounded absolutely terrible to me. And so I sought out a mentor who worked with a personal development guru, so to speak, to sort of help him grow his business from this one guy who was pretty successful at doing this thing to a team and various sources of impact and income. And I paid this guy $10,000 a month to meet with me for just one day a month in person to give me very specific things that I needed to do. And honestly, that advice was worth 10x what I invested in it. But again, someone could hear, oh my gosh, $10,000 for a mentor, that sounds crazy. Again, someone could hear, oh my gosh, $10,000 for a mentor, that sounds crazy.

But it's not crazy if you know, A, that you're going to be committed to implementing it, and B, that you're going to figure it out and that you know that ultimately not making those wrong hires, not scaling in the wrong way, not doing all those things that you could do, trying to well-intendingly scale your business or grow your business or start your business or whatever your situation is, is going to be worth absolutely every single dollar. Yeah. That's another thing to talk about is if you really want want to mentor that bad you can just hire one you know if you've got the money to make it happen and that accountability of like i need to make my

money back may give you the urgency to take action even that much greater um as opposed to you know it's an interesting thing and it isn't you know the idea of like either i'm going to charge someone to mentor them or on the other side you know i, I'm going to pay, you know, him or her to mentor me. It's kind of an interesting topic that sometimes people get the wrong idea about. And for me, I started this organization called You Speaker University where I mentor and train other people who essentially want to do what I do. train other people who essentially want to do what I do. And for me, it was not so much about the money, but the money became a, well, not only a symbol, but a bit of a gatekeeper. Who's going to take action? Who's serious about it? Exactly. Like if you don't, yeah, if you don't have some skin in the game and like,

if your husband or wife isn't going to, you know, harass you of like, all right, if you don't have some skin in the game, and if your husband or wife isn't going to harass you of like, all right, but you better listen to what he says, and you better take action, you better do this and that. Sometimes I think we're better – at least a guy like me, I need to – there needs to be a bit of that calculated, intelligent risk there for me. calculated intelligent risk there for me. And then as a guy who's now mentoring others, I think that money is ultimately, to me, it's not about the money that, oh, I get to make that money. But again, it's the sort of person or the sort of people that you're going to find who see that investment as a no-brainer, those are ultimately the people that are going to be the coolest, the best to work with. They've humbled themselves because they have more on the line than just I'm going to send a blind email,

but I've made an investment and this is significant to me. And then those are the folks that are going to actually go out there and eventually succeed. Right, exactly. Now, you've got this passion. You've got this mission you're on. You've got TV shows coming out, books. You mentor people.

You coach them. You've got this great business. But what really is, one your your biggest regret up until now oh um so many uh i mean truly yeah i i know it's like funny now but but but i mean i mean it to me i think because of the way i up, I sort of overcompensated with ego and I need to do this on my own and I've got this and I'm going to prove you wrong. There was so much fear and arrogance and ego in what I was doing. And I was doing things early on for my ego instead of to actually make a difference. Or I was doing things to build my ego instead of building my business on the other side

of the equation. So I really regret not being more open to partnerships and hiring people and realizing that I can't, should not, and will not do this all by myself. But I need to humble myself and realize at the end of the day, there are three things I'm great at, and I'm pretty terrible at everything else. things I'm great at and I'm pretty terrible at everything else. And so why not focus on and nerd out and continue to sharpen and hone those handful of things that I am pretty dang good at and have the maturity to team up with others who can fill in those gaps and realize that that's okay.

That's one thing. And then another thing for me is just my disciplines around my work and my life, years ago were very terrible and very destructive to my family life, years ago were very terrible and very destructive to my family life, which is the very thing that I say I do all this for. To me, I can shed some light on that. Number one, I cut off my work day at a very specific time every single day, Monday through Friday, even though I don't have to do that, even though I could do this work whenever I feel like it. But I have a very specific shutoff time. And then I literally hand my laptop to my wife because I don't have email on my phone.

I don't have Twitter, Facebook, any of that on my phone. I don't have email on my phone, I don't have Twitter, Facebook, any of that on my phone because in years past I was both robbing my business and my family. When I was with my family, I would check an email, get sucked into it emotionally but not actually reply and so now, poof, I'm gone from them. I'm just a warm body. Right. Or I would be working but not have specific kind of work hours and parameters around it. So I felt like I was neglecting my family and I had this sort of remorse there instead of knowing this is my specific sacred time to work on my business stuff. So dude, no worries, no regrets.

The family knows that this is that time. So do your thing. I'm so appreciative for putting those parameters on now. And sometimes when you're doing your own thing, it's like, I'm the man. I don't work for a boss anymore. I can do this whenever, wherever, this and that. But at least for me, and I've found for many others, having some self-imposed boundaries is so, so helpful to your success long term. Have you ever met your mom? Never. No, I've actually, in my entire life, I've only met one individual related to me. And that was just a couple years ago.

Is your mom still alive? She is. What's holding you back from reaching out to connect with her? Yeah, great question. I have tried to reach out to her a few times. A few times when I was little, we would talk on the phone. And she would say, I'm going to come meet you next Tuesday, and she wouldn't. and then she wouldn't show up. And I remember pacing in that living room and pulling back the curtain, and is that her car? Is that her car?

I wonder, ooh, maybe that car that drove by, maybe she missed the address on the house. Those moments really strike me and actually shape me today. Something I'm really good at is time, and something that unhinges me is time. Lewis and I, we had our we had our skype thing scheduled the day for noon you know i'm showing up at 11 55 hey i'm here just it's like but but i'm just like that you know if my wife yeah if my wife is running late like i got to be careful there because like i will get pissed off i hear you you know and so it's it's something that's that's shaped me again, as I said earlier,

kind of good and bad. It can set me off to the degree that it really shouldn't, but it also makes me realize that you never know what a promise that you've made to someone could mean to them that to you is not a big deal right like honestly man you know that i'm gonna come see you wednesday at three o'clock and i want to meet you that like i my world revolved around that time everything revolved around that time um so when did you when did you finally forgive your mom or have you, have you yet to forgive her yet? No, I would say, I would, I would humbly say that I have, um, you know, and if I could go back and change everything, I wouldn't change a thing.

I, I know that may sound cliche or like motivational speaker of me to say, but I genuinely mean it. I probably forgave her probably once I started in that counseling and realized how, you know, my life might have been worse, you know, had she held on to me, you know, had she kept me, who knows sort of that instability that she had in her life at that young of age. And also realizing that, you know, when you forgive someone, forgiveness is really not about them, it's about you. It frees you. Even though I've never been able to say to her, I forgive you,

but saying that to myself has really freed me. Have you been able to forgive yourself yet? Yes. Do you think you can fully for yourself without at least reaching and seeing her and taking the action to see her yeah i think so i mean i i certainly don't hold any grudge to her uh you know about what happened and i at least at this point don't blame myself you know i certainly did early on you know maybe if i was smarter cuter more interesting or funnier all of those sorts of things you would have stuck around but i just realized it is you know

something that happened i i can't control it i have to forgive I have to move on I have to try to learn is there something to be learned from it is there something good I can do from it that's the perspective that I have on it now is that the perspective I always have on it? of course not but when I'm healthy and doing the things I need to do and

am around the people that I need to be around that remind me of who I am, not the lies in my head or the fears in my past, then yeah. What's your biggest fear moving forward? moving forward? Hmm. I mean, I think ultimately, to me, it would circle around my biggest motivating factor, which is being a great dad and husband. That means more to me than any of the stuff I'm doing professionally, even though I enjoy it and even though some of it is kind of cool.

That's what it is. And so my fear would be that I would allow myself to get sucked in, that I would allow myself to get sucked into, you know, accolades that can come from a book or TV or this and that. And to begin to get seduced by that and think that that's what matters or that's who I am or how well that's going defines who I am or who I'm not. You know, I think that would be a fear for me to influence, as you said in the introduction, two million kids, but not deeply, deeply influence my kids, deeply support and encourage my wife. You know, then I would just be an absolute hypocrite and I would be ashamed. Do you think you can have both where you're impacting millions of people around the world or a large amount of people around the world and also be there for your family, your kids, your wife, with 100% attention and love?

You know what? That's the life I'm attempting to build. You know, and Louis, I've tried to find that mentor. And I'll be honest with you, I haven't found him. Because there's not too many people, you know, you look at like Oprah and things like that. Right. It's like, can you have both?

Yeah, it's easy to find find the person who's young and successful and has killed it, or it's easy to find the person who's an awesome family man. Who hasn't killed it yet. Yeah, right. Or his definition of success is different. Yeah. But I want to, and this is the exciting journey that I'm excited to go on, is unquestionably I am motivated and intentional in building this empire of impact. But I also want to unquestionably run after and build a meaningful, loving, fun, imperfect, but meaningful family life.

And I have been unable to find that mentor, but that is a challenge in front of me, and that's the challenge I'm excited to go after. And to me, I think so much of it is making smart, long-term, scalable, technology smart, financially wise investments and moves in your business. So as an example, although I could travel and do paid speaking gigs and get paid a truckload of cash to be on the road a couple hundred days a year. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. So instead, I'm going to stay at home and with my team, we're going to lose money in the beginning. We're going to make an investment in the beginning. We're going to make an investment of time without getting paid for it initially in order to build out things that can scale both impact and income without me having to constantly get on a plane and get away from my family. So that's what I'm going to be attempting to do over the next 20 years.

But I think it's – to me, one of my big life philosophies is that wishful thinking is not a strategy. I can hope and wish and think and positive thinking all day long that that would happen. Yes, that's helpful, but I also need to understand that everything I say yes to in my business, every opportunity I say yes to, every little venture I start up, every yes is saying no to something else. And so am I making smart, wise decisions there that are in alignment with my so-called values? I like it, man. Well, let's wrap it up with the final question. And that is, what's your definition of greatness? See, this was the one question I knew you were going to ask. So I was like, I'm going to get him. This one's going to be premeditated.

All right, so here's my definition of greatness. Intentional, consistent, incremental improvement. There you have it. I love it, man. It's a great one. It's a great quote. Take your next step towards greatness. That's all that matters. Don't look at someone else's next step or where they're at. Or if you're ahead of people, don't be prideful in that. But intentional, consistent, incremental improvement, I think that's pretty dang great. That's great, man. Always about taking the next step and improving yourself.

Absolutely. I love it, man. Well, Josh, where can we find you online? Yep, I'm at joshship, that's S-H-I-P-P dot com. Awesome. And everywhere else is your name, I'm assuming, Twitter, Facebook. Yep, Joshship on Twitter, Facebook, all that. And what's one fact, fun fact about you that almost only a few people know about you?

Hmm. When I was a kid, I was very overweight, and I had to shop in this section of the store for Husky jeans. And damn those retailers, they would put it at the front of the store. And it's like, look, I know I'm overweight. Do you really have to call it husky? Nice, man. Nice fact. That's why JCPenney's went out of business.

Nice, man. Well, Josh, I appreciate it, man. Thanks for the insights and for opening up and sharing your wisdom. I know everyone listening really appreciates it as well, and we will talk to you soon, man. Absolute pleasure. And there you have it, guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode with Josh and really talking about all these different questions about the importance of

your personal story for your business and also how to build an empire of impact. I really liked that part when we're talking about building an empire of impact and making money around that impact as well. So if you guys enjoyed this, make sure to check out the show notes over at lewishouse.com or you can check out schoolofgreatness.com as well. Please leave a comment, leave a question at the very end of the show notes and leave your thoughts on that specific question. Go ahead and share this with your friends over on Twitter and on Facebook. Make sure to check out Josh's website as well over at joshship.com.

And I appreciate you guys. I really do. I've been meeting a lot of people randomly in LA and at different conferences. And pretty much every time I travel, it seems like I'm meeting different listeners of the podcast. And I tell you what, it's such an amazing feeling to hear your personal stories about what's inspired you, which guest you loved the most, what thing they said that really touched your heart, opened your mind, opened your soul,

and started inspiring you to go after what you want in your own life and in your business and your health and really stepping into your own greatness. So again, if you guys ever see me around, feel free to stop me, say hi, let me know what episode you love the most. It would mean the world to me. It's what I love doing the most is really connecting with you guys. With that, guys, it's a pleasure to do these podcasts. I've got some big ones coming up soon, and I'm going to be sharing some more solo rounds. I've been getting requests for solo rounds a lot lately. I've done a couple and I'm going to be doing some very personal ones

in the near future. Some things I'm excited to share with you guys. So if you haven't yet subscribed to the podcast, please do over on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, and everywhere else you can subscribe and continue to spread the word. Whichever episode you love, just share the word over on Twitter and Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, all over the place. You guys know where to find me. I'm at Lewis Howes everywhere.

And I'm just so blessed to have this opportunity to hang out with you once a week and share amazing guests with you and all of their wealth of information. So thank you again so much for being a listener and spreading the word of greatness. You guys know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt.

We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great pulse of opportunity of this nation. So we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice.

Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children. you