The School of Greatness - 5 SECRETS of Ultra-Successful People That Will CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

LAST CHACE FOR SUMMIT OF GREATNESS! Have you saved your tickets yet? Get them before they sell out at lewishowes.com/tickets.In this powerful episode of the School of Greatness, I dive deep into the world of influence, personal growth, and making a meaningful impact. We explore insights from various thought leaders and successful entrepreneurs on topics ranging from finding your purpose to building a thriving business. You'll learn about the importance of developing a clear message, understanding your market, and honing your methods as an influencer. We discuss the power of vulnerability, the need for continuous skill development, and the balance between ambition and personal relationships. Whether you're an aspiring influencer, an entrepreneur, or someone looking to live a more purposeful life, this episode offers a wealth of actionable advice and inspiring ideas to help you reach your full potential and make a positive difference in the world.In this episode you will learnHow to develop a clear, authentic message as an influencerThe importance of understanding your market and audience aspirationsStrategies for honing your methods and bringing intentionality to your workWays to balance drive and ambition with personal relationships and self-careThe value of vulnerability and sharing personal struggles in connecting with your audienceTechniques for continuous skill development and personal growthHow to build a strong team culture based on accountability and shared valuesThe power of meditation and mindfulness in staying grounded and focusedFor more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1667For more Greatness text PODCAST to [phone]More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Eckhart Tolle – https://link.chtbl.com/1463-podRhonda Byrne – https://link.chtbl.com/1525-podJohn Maxwell – https://link.chtbl.com/1501-pod

Hey everyone, this is Lewis Howes and I am so excited to invite you to the Summit of Greatness 2024 happening at the iconic Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California. This is more than just an event. It's a powerful experience designed to ignite your passion, boost your growth, and connect you with a community of other inspiring achievers. Join us Friday, September 13th and Saturday, September 14th for two days packed with inspiration and transformation from some of the most incredible speakers on the planet. Don't miss out on this chance to elevate your life, unlock your potential, and be part of something truly special. Make sure to get your tickets right now and step into greatness with us at the Summit of Greatness

2024. Head over to lewishouse.com slash tickets and get your tickets today and I will see you there. Welcome to this special masterclass. We've brought some of the top experts in the world to help you unlock the power of your life through this specific theme today. It's going to be powerful, so let's go ahead and dive in. So many of us can think in our minds like, OK, I'm dissatisfied. I'm not fulfilled. I don't know what I want to do. But we try and think our way into an answer rather than start getting into action to try different things, to sample them.

You can take a class. You can take a physical class. You can read a book. You can start talking to people. There are so many different strategic ways to engage in an idea without quitting your job, without putting yourself at risk, without doing anything that would jeopardize your well-being in the current moment, but set yourself up for success, you know, down the line. Yeah, interesting. What do you think is, you know, you weren't this huge success overnight once you started

live coaching. You know, it took you three years to become certified, I guess, right? Yes. And then you started... And I didn't even become certified. I graduated. I finished all of my courses. But then there was this whole other certification process. And to be really honest, I just didn't feel called to do it.

I had other things by that point that I was like, okay, I want to get a product out there. I also got involved with health and fitness. So there was only 24 hours in a day. And I just, I chose not to get certified because it didn't feel like I needed to. And you could pick up clients along the way anyways. You don't need to be certified to coach people. And I was more interested in, could I get someone results? Was I a good coach? Could I positively impact their life? Could I help them get to the place where they wanted to go? And could I be an awesome coach again from experience not just because I had a piece of paper. So that for me was more exciting and that's what I focused on. What do you think people need to do in their thought process in the approach

and learning about that it's a journey because obviously again you didn't have clients overnight. You weren't this big success then that you are now with MarieTV and B-School and all the things you've been up to. It's been a journey. It's been like a 10, 12, seven year journey right? To get to where you are now. And people want the results now. They want to be rich. They want to be healthy. They want to be you know wealthy in all the sense right now. How can people start approaching things differently to be, to dream big but also be realistic yeah I think that there is a mindset that I adopted thankfully in my early 20s that really

saved my butt and then I think it can really help most people because I'm a driven individual I'm incredibly ambitious and you know most people in our day and age there is that bit of wanting instant gratification but I think that it sets us up to be unhappy. And so for me, I often wrestled with, okay, well, how do I reconcile the fact that I have big dreams, I'm not where I want to be yet, yet I don't want to be miserable until I get there because I'm smart enough to know that when I get there, my dreams are actually going to get bigger. So I'm just setting myself up for a life of misery. Thank goodness I discovered this whole kind of philosophy of living in the moment. And it was

really a set of practices. And I learned how to get out of my head and really live in the here and now. And not by sitting on some mountaintop or oming all day, but to really engage in the present moment. Like this moment is it. This is it it and I call it in the book that I wrote making isness your business like whatever is happening in this moment I am gonna just approach it and attack it like I'm meant to be here this is my party no matter what's going on if I'm bartending and I'm working seven days a week if I'm scrubbing somebody's floor which I did I mean I was a personal assistant I cleaned people's toilets I did whatever I needed to do because I didn't want to be a desperate life coach because I thought

that's like the most horrible thing in the world meeting paying clients I said let me make money bartending and cleaning people's toilets or doing whatever I have to do so that when I'm coaching people I can coach them out of my skill set and my desire to make a difference not out of needing their money so this idea of making isness your business trains you to love this moment, but you're also super pumped about where you're going. So it's not like you lose sight of your dreams. It's not like you lose your ambition, but you strike this really interesting balance of being fully here and now

and fully excited about where you're going. And I think that saved me. Yeah, I think it's kind of like being in a dance of like living in the now but also aspiring for the future of what you really want, which can be in a year or 10 years or whatever it may be, right? Yeah. And I just did an interview with a guy named Donald Schultz who said something that goes like, there are only two days a year you can't work, and it's yesterday and tomorrow. And I thought that was interesting when he said that. I was like, yeah, you've really got to be present.

Obviously, you can dream about tomorrow and dream about your vision and what you want to create and plan for the future. Yep. But you've got to be present in today's journey. Yes. And appreciate what you do have, not what you don't have, right? Absolutely. And anywhere you find yourself, it is up to you whether or not you're going to be miserable there or you're going to make it awesome.

You know, and I remember so many times going into another bartending shift. And of course, if I let my mind run wild, my mind would say, what are you still doing here? If you were smarter, you would have, you know, a full business by now. When is this ever going to happen? And I really trained myself to go, whatever. I'm here right now. How can I make the best drink possible? How can I have so much fun with all the people that

I'm working with? How can I give these people a great experience so that at the end of my shift, I'm not exhausted from being miserable for six hours. And I can actually go home, yeah, a little bit tired, but not feeling like I'm wrong in my life. Or I'm worthless. Or I'm not talented enough. Or I'm not smart enough. And it was a really great training period. People often ask, they're like, are you really always this happy? And I'm like, I'm not always happy, but I'm a happy person. Most of the time.

And I have my bad days. But I really think so much of success is about your attitude that you bring to the table. And you've got to bring it to the table every single day, no matter what stage you're at. And for me, I didn't fully transition into my full-time business. I think like most people don't know this, like seven years. Wow. So when people tell me like, oh, I have this day job and I'm so miserable. I'm like.

Seven years until you're doing what you've been doing now. Kind of. So, you know, there was a whole period, again, this multi-passionate now. Kind of. So you know there was a whole period again this multi passionate thing. Of course. When I was starting my coaching practice I started to recognize that even just calling myself a coach felt limited. Mmm. And I had this dream of dancing and I love hip-hop. Yeah. Never had any formal training in the world. I also loved fitness. So there's a lot of things that I wanted to get involved with and I realized when I was about 25 I said if I don't do all these things right now, I'm gonna regret it I realized that if I take some attention away from coaching sure

I won't get there as fast as I would have if I put all my attention there, but it's not my truth Yeah, the truth is I want to dance hip-hop. Yeah, I want to go do some cool things out on the road I don't care if I'm not making a ton of money or not this quote unquote famous person. I didn't care at all about that. What mattered to me was, am I living the life that I want to live? I love that. I want to talk about mastering the things

that you don't like doing along the journey. Like mastering the perfect drink or bartending that shift. Like just becoming a master. Because I remember doing some jobs. I'm sure we all had jobs we don't love. I used to be a truck driver for about three months until I couldn't do it anymore. But I would try to master timing, getting to my location, and then getting back, and as quick as possible. And master like the roads and everything was about mastery. I mean, even in

those little things that I didn't like. Why is it so important to try to master the things even though we don't like or we're not fully passionate about along the way? Why do you feel like that's important? I think it's all about quality of life, right? You take you wherever you go. And if in those moments you're doing a job that you're not really excited about but you have to be there for eight hours, you have a choice.

You're either going to be miserable for eight hours or you're going to engage like a champ. Right. And you're going to show up and be amazing. And I got to tell you, so many opportunities for me have come from me training myself to show up like a champ wherever I was. So for example, I taught hip hop at Crunch. And did I think I was going to teach hip hop forever? No, but I wanted to be the best hip hop instructor I possibly could be while I was there. And because my classes were filled and because I taught a good class, the higher ups chose me to be someone who auditioned for Nike, you know, and gave me this opportunity. And then I got to be a Nike Elite Trainer and travel to Europe and all over the place.

That's amazing. And weren't you the first one or? I was one of the first four. Yeah. And you know, even when I was bartending in college, because I would do such a good job on this one person's cappuccino, that's how I got my job on the floor of Wall Street. Wow, really? Really. Because they were like, you care so much about what you're doing. Like, what do you want to do after you graduate? They knew I was a college student. I said, you know, I'm a finance major. I can't see myself in corporate finance. I can't see myself at a desk, but I don't know what else to do. And they're like, you know what?

My brother works on the floor. Give me your resume. So for me, this idea of mastery and showing up like just you own it, the opportunities that can come when you do that, you can't even predict. Not to mention how you train yourself as a human being in terms of your own happiness and your own fulfillment. When you show up with that attitude of I'm gonna master this, I'm gonna bring my A-game, you feel better. You have more energy. The results are gonna be better. You'll leave your day feeling just

incredible rather than miserable. Yeah, that's great. Gratitude is something that I'm a big proponent of. And I know you are as well. Can you speak about the power of gratitude and how it affects everything in our lives? I think it's the most incredible transformational tool that there is because if we're still alive, we have something to be grateful for. You know, all of us have challenging times in our life.

Things go wrong, everything hits the fan. We all feel like failures. We feel frustrated, nothing's going our way. We should probably give up. Why are we even here? I don't think there's any human being on the planet that doesn't have those days. And I have them too, where you just wake up and you're like, goodness, what is going on? How did all this happen?

And for me, it's the first thing that I go to to start to turn that around internally and ask myself, OK, you know what? I feel like crap right now. I want to cry. Everything sucks, but I'm still breathing. I look around. I'm like, okay, roof over my head. I went to the fridge. There's food in the fridge.

And I know because of so much of the work that we do that there are millions, in fact, a billion people that don't have those basic things, that can't say they have a safe roof over their head, that don't have food in a refrigerator. They don't even have running water. So for me, it's a really great check immediately to say, okay, great. I feel like crap, but I got all these things. How can I start to turn this around?

And then I go to one of my other favorites, which is everything is figureoutable that I learned from my mom. Don't you have that on the wall over here or something? Yeah, we'll get a shot of that. I do because it's, you know, when you're in a tough spot,

what matters is your beliefs and your psychology and what you're going to do in that moment no matter what the circumstances are. And for me, that gratitude piece is first because it starts to shift everything

and then going to everything is figureoutable which is my belief helps me get into problem-solving mode and go, okay, whatever the situation is, what do I need to do? What actions do I need to take? Do I need to pick up a phone? Do I need to go out and exercise?

Do I need to put on some music? Do I need to just sit and cry? What do I need to do to move myself ahead in a positive, powerful way? What's your daily routine like then? Do you wake up and express gratitude? Are you meditating? Are you expressing gratitude throughout the day? You know, what's it like? Are you working out mentally, emotionally? What's your plan every day? So there's a couple things that I always make sure that I do. But again, I'm someone who ironically, I'm a little bit of a paradox in

this sense where I love structure. you know Josh my fiance he makes fun of me he's like you're the most organized structure person I've ever met and I rebel against it. You want flexibility too. At the same time completely. So meditation always happens whether it happens first second or third depends on how I feel. You know do I need my little cup of mate when I wake up first? Do I need water when I wake up first? Do I just need to like chill for a second when I wake up first? Green juice is another thing that chill for a second when I wake up first? Green juice is another thing that's always fit in there. And then exercise is really, that always depends on the flow.

Like depending on what's happening with myself and my business and my creativity, sometimes it happens in the morning. That's always the ideal time. But there's often times when it doesn't. You know, and it has to either get shifted a little bit later or like, you know, later on this week, I'm going to this super early morning dance party from like 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. And I'm like, this is awesome. So I try and change it up. But the meditation and the green juice and just getting myself really centered and ready for the day, that's what I do. And then in terms of productivity

though, the night before, I always make my list for the next day. Really? Oh, my goodness. Because my schedule is such that there's so much variety. So there could be interviews. There could be phone calls. It could be travel. There could be shoots.

And if I don't get myself set up the night before, I don't feel like I can dive right into the day with strength and clarity. So I look at all the things that are happening, if there's any outside appointments, and all of my tasks, like the important things that need to get done, those are listed first, and then the time is blocked out, and then the rest of the day can be awesome.

So would you say setting an intention the night before is really powerful, and setting yourself up to win that day? Yeah, and for me it's not so much of an intention because I think my DNA is such that I wanna just murder it. You know what is such that I want to just murder it. Do you know what I mean? I'm going to just crush this.

It's going to happen, and I'm going to have a good time. But for me, it's actual clarity of what are the most important things that need to get done, and what are the things that would be great, but if, for whatever reason, life shows up or things have to get moved around, they can move on. Yeah, I think I saw a video of you talking about important and urgent. And to actually focus on doing the important things first. Always.

Always first. And then get to the urgent things later. Because the urgent things will always... They'll always get done. Right. Because if they're really that urgent, you will take care of them. You will. But in our digital age of so much information coming at us constantly

and the way that most of us have habituated ourselves to have our phones ding, to have little alerts come up, to have everything come in, that we trained ourselves to hit the refresh button on our email like a little crack addict. Instagram. Oh my. It's insane. But we've done this to ourselves and we have to systematically undo it if we want to actually move the ball ahead on major projects. So how do we start undoing these things, these habits that aren't serving us or that aren't really moving us forward

to achieving our visions? You know, I think awareness is the first step to any major change. And so you just got to get real with yourself about your crappy habits. You know what I mean? And be honest about, yeah, I just spent two to three hours getting sucked into Facebook and comparing myself to everyone else and looking at, oh my God, they're doing so much

better than I am. And what about this? And I think being honest with yourself and awareness of what you're doing that's not working so that you can replace it with a habit that does. And I mean, that simple practice, if anyone just at the end of their work day sat down and took a look at, okay, what's the most important things I need to get done tomorrow and actually time blocked it? Like, okay, writing that blog, even like writing that blog post is probably going to take me 30 to 45 minutes. Okay, that's on there. Having a meeting with the team,

that's at least another 30 minutes. Writing this brand new whatever, that's an hour. All of a sudden, you'll see your morning is like pretty spoken for. You should not be going to email. You should not be taking phone calls and you shouldn't do anything else but those important things. Yeah.

I'm a big fan of coaches and mentors. And I feel like my entire athletic career would not have been the way it was without having great coaches. And my years or seasons I should say reflected the coaches I had. If I had great coaches I typically had a great performance or I felt great. When I had coaches that were negative it was really weighing on me and the results were not as powerful. Who have been your mentors or coaches or influential people along your lifetime? And growing up, I should say, then who are your mentors and coaches now?

You know, growing up, I had some influential people. My parents are amazing human beings. I remember when I was in high school and I was on the cheerleading team, which by the way, I tried out to be a cheerleader. I think, I don't know how many years and I got rejected. Really? All of them. Oh yeah, I think, I don't know how many years and I got rejected. Really? Oh, yeah.

I sucked. I was horrible, but I kept at it until I finally said yes. And, you know, I figured out what I was doing wrong and got in. And then I went right to being captain. So it paid off. And I remember that my cheerleading coach in high school, she saw how hard I was willing to work. And it really impressed me because she said, you know what, the other girls in the team probably aren't gonna like this

decision that I move you up to captain but no one else, I created a whole kind of fitness circuit so everyone could get strong so we could hopefully win a competition and I would do a lot of the choreography for the team because I love to dance. And so that was really important for me when she rewarded me based on my work and my work ethic and what I was bringing to the table versus how long I had been on the team. And that was very influential. I know in college I had some great, great teachers who just would always challenge my ideas

and help me see things from a broader perspective. And then as a professional, I always meet great people and I consider myself a lifelong student. I love learning. I always have a stack of books. I'm always hungry to learn a new idea or to see a new concept or figure out something that could help myself and help other people. I remember Deepak Chopra was a far away influence when I read The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.

That book totally rocked my world. My yoga teacher who taught me about meditation when I was 17, she was huge. I've always loved Oprah ever since I was a little girl. So that was the far away. Who doesn't love Oprah? I mean, anyone who doesn't, I'm just, I can't even deal with them. I understand different strokes for different folks. But the folks that are mean to her, I'm just, I can't even deal with them. I understand different strokes for different folks. But the folks that are mean to her, I'm just, I don't even understand it.

And of course, Tony Robbins. I remember he was my gateway drug really to the world of personal development. And I was so impressed with who he was. And yeah, those are people that I feel like I've always kind of held in my heart and always looked to and admired and really appreciated The work that they do and who they are in the world Yeah Do you have any mentors or coaches right now that you work with on a daily basis or that you hire?

you know I support you try and hire people in areas that I Really need the help right now like where the business is at this moment We have such a clear vision for where we want to go It's again I sometimes I wish there were 48 hours in a day because there's so much that we want to do. And I have to hold myself back so I don't work 17 hours every single day. But for example, a lot's changing in the online world right now. A lot.

Especially in the digital landscape and when you're selling digital learning products. One of the things that's changing are the tax laws, both in Europe and here in the States. So for me, right now, what we're looking at investigating, we're working with different tax attorneys because we want that expertise. But I'm always talking with people if I have any challenge in the business. I look to go to someone who is a master in the area that I need specific advice on. So while it's not one person... It's a coach for the moment or for that season. Exactly. Depending on whatever the challenge or the opportunity is that I

really want to leverage or make sure that we're ahead of the game, I try and find the best person that I think that can advise me based on their experience. Gotcha. Do you think it's valuable for people to have coaches in their life? Definitely. To either hire or unofficial mentors or something like that? I mean, I rely so much on my team and my friends and the people that I love that I think, you know, whether you want to call them a coach or, you know, depending on what vernacular kind of works for you.

Going to be an official. Yeah. Yeah. But I do. And I think that, you know, there's nothing wrong with asking for help or saying, you know what? No one in my life really is willing to listen to me about the things that I want to talk about, the business I want to build.

So I want someone who's totally focused on me, dedicated, can help me get results. I think it's awesome. I've had that many times in my life. It's just at this particular moment, everything is so full. I feel like I've given myself enough homework for the next six to eight months. But I do think they're valuable. To actually change the world, change people, you need a curriculum. You need to be able to give them empowerment and tools to be able to help to do that.

And if you're going to actually make it, I always tell people, you can't sustain the mission if you don't make the money Mmm, which was a big thing for me because I came from nothing, you know, you know my background a bit growing up in, Montana We just had nothing. Yeah, you know, we grew up in poverty My parents working super hard between the you know, two of them to raise us four kids literally till this day I have no idea how they did it. Yeah to raise us four kids. Literally, until this day, I have no idea how they did it.

So my ambition was like, maybe someday I can make $40,000 because the richest people in our town didn't make that kind of money. But that also can get in the way because sometimes people set their ambitions

or their financial hopes based on where they grew up and they let their past or their current circumstances dictate the dreams for the finances they want in the future. And then what happens? They do something and it becomes really popular. And they're like,

oh, this is working. And the number count they're watching is the fans and the followers, which is great. But what I'm always saying is like, please make sure you build a business. Because if suddenly you're not as popular or you go broke or something happens, God forbid, if you haven't built the infrastructure to carry your message, then you're not being a responsible messenger. An influencer without a business is a popular person who's busy. Yeah, all the time. And stressed because they're not making any money. They can't pay their rent.

I was having a conversation with Jay Shetty about this about a year and a half ago. Because I was always trying to with Jay Shetty about this about a year and a half ago. Yeah. Because he was, I was always trying to push him to earn more. He was like, you know, I'm happy with like

just making, I don't know, I think it was like a hundred grand or maybe a few hundred grand, right? Yeah. I'm not sure the exact number

but he was like, I never felt like I needed to make more money because I felt like I just want to serve people. I want to give as much as I can. Yeah. And I said,

well, you're really doing a disservice unless you start earning more because you can hire more people and transform those lives. You can use the resources to create bigger projects, bigger production of movies and videos that can then infect people in a positive way. Yeah, people have to get out of their way about money. And it's the hardest thing.

Trust me, it was like there were parts of, when we did our first launch, when we did our first launch, when we did our first seminar, afterwards I went broke. Because I didn't know how to do it, didn't know so much, just completely went broke. Had to live with my girlfriend, who is now Denise, my wife.

And she was buying my groceries, she was supporting me, she was kind of the only person who knew what I wanted to do and really the only person believing and cheering it on. I had that great support. People say, you're so lucky. But I'm like, I am. I had a car accident that smacked me in the head

and made me say, I want to live my life. Luck number one. Luck number two, great parents. Luck number three, a girl that believed in me when I didn't even quite believe in myself. What year was this? I met Denise in 2003. So we were together five years and I proposed.

So we've been together a long time. But I remember even sitting there when I was bankrupt. And she's sleeping in the bed and I'm on this little desk next to the bed. And I'm writing and all my bills and my paperwork and my vision boards were in the bed. And I'm on this little desk next to the bed. And I'm writing. And all my bills and my paperwork and my vision boards were on the bed. And as I'm typing, she comes over and crawls under the covers to go to bed. And I look over and it's my woman sleeping under my bills. Like, literally.

And I would say none of us want to be responsible for the pain in other people's lives because of our own inaction. I just hadn't taken action. But I also didn't, I just didn't have any attachment to money my whole life, even now. I mean, you've seen what we do on our big trips. I'm like, let's go. I mean, I go crazy. Helicopters and this. Whatever.

It's like, have a great time because I don't have an attachment to it. But what I do have an attachment to is the mission. And I want to help people achieve their goals faster. I want to help people realize they have a second chance on this planet every day that they wake up. And if you have a second chance every day, that's like evergreen.

Every day is your life's golden ticket. You get to choose when you woke up this morning, what's my attitude going to be? How I'm going to treat people? What I'm going to focus on? What I'm going to make happen? How I feel? We get to choose these things to an extraordinary extent. So my whole thing is like, hey, you have a second chance. Use that. And this time in your second chance, in your next

relationship, in the next job, in the next moment, be more intentional. Be more service-driven. Lead with more heart. Make sure you're doing things that bring you meaning. And if I really believe that as I tell it to you, then I would have to build the infrastructure to sustain it. That's where the business thing comes in. I had to go, all right. And there was nothing about this business I was attracted to. Like literally.

You're very introverted. Very introverted. I'm still, you know, I'm awkward even right now. I'm awkward in a meeting. You've been with me on a deck by a pool. Very introverted. Like, I'm still, you know, I'm awkward even right now. I'm awkward in a meeting. Like, I'm just, you've been with me on a deck by a pool. I'm different. I'm more relaxed a little bit. But I had to learn everything.

I had to learn how to speak. I was terrified of public speaking. I had to learn how to do video, which was a super awkward, hard thing. Now we've had 250 million video views. Now we've had 250 million video views, but the number I'm really proud of is 15 million hours of my online training has been watched. Wow. 15 million hours. That's a lot of brain.

That's annoying. But that's instruction. No cat videos, no memes, no reposting other people's stuff. That's like online training content, 15 million hours. So that's a lot of teaching. We have 27 online courses. 27 I've done. And I was terrified of video.

I had to learn podcasting. I had to learn how to write books. But all I had was after my car accident, I said, I want to inspire people to understand we all have life's golden ticket. We have a second chance. We can all live, love, and matter if we make that our intention. So let's start measuring ourselves and being more purposeful. And i had to figure out how to do it well you have to master your mindset you have to master your habits you have to be better in your relationships you have to live for something and optimize your health yes so if i really believed in that i had

to step back at some point and not go what are my strengths because my strengths were you know sitting on a couch and eating cheetos it's like at some point you go, no, no. What is I want to be of service to? High performers don't often ask just what are my strengths? I'll just do that. They say, what is required to be of service here? And let me grow into that. I had to grow into a business owner.

I had to grow into a communicator. I had to grow into a writer and a podcaster. I didn't know how to do any of that. I just had something I wanted to share and teach the world. I had to learn how to be a researcher and conduct like original full-scale psychological research which was high performance habits. Like I didn't know how to do any of that. But if you believe you have a message in your heart, you will know that you have to build

the infrastructure for it. Because if you don't make the money, you can't sustain the message. It's hard, yeah, it's hard. You're advising to Jay who's really great because he's doing great now because he's changed that approach. Yes, and now he still cares about impacting as many people as possible,

but he knows that the business model needs to be there and he's been crushing it on both sides. You know, he's been doing amazing. Now, who should be thinking about becoming an influencer and who is it for and who is it not for? Because you're the introverted guy. So if you're introverted and you're scared and you've never spoken before, you've never written a book, should you even be thinking, maybe this is for me or maybe it isn't? Yeah.

I'm just thinking in my head as you're saying that, how many of our friends and fans are like, Brendan's not introverted. I know. But I always say, listen, you can't write six books and not be an introvert. You know, you can't sit and do the hundreds of hours of curriculum development without being introverted.

But no, I think introverts can come. Extroverts can come. It's somebody who says, you know what? I want to be a person of influence in the world where I'm affecting

positive change. And you want to figure out how to have a career doing that. It's those two things. First is the heart and the soul of it. It's like, I want to create positive change. I want to figure out how to have a career doing that. It's those two things. First is the heart and the soul of it. It's like, I want to create positive change. I want to be a role model.

And I'll say, no one seeks to become an expert or a thought leader, which is what we used to call it. Now we just call it influencer. But no one seeks to become an influencer unless in some way they have the role model mindset. That mindset that says, you know what? I want to do good and have other people see that and maybe inspire them. I want to lead my life in a way that's an example for other people. And as soon as you decide to adopt the role model mindset where you say, I want to be an example for other people, it requires you to do the hard stuff.

It does. To work out. Stuff you don't want to do. You don't want to do. You don't want to work out. You don't want to push yourself. To be a role model, you have to demonstrate integrity and discipline and service and most people they won't challenge themselves that much so i think first is the role model

mindset so first i i have that i want to affect positive change i want to be a role model for other people i want to inspire people i want people to see the passions i have and maybe learn from those passions and i want to give people you I have and maybe learn from those passions. And I want to give people empowerment. And then the other side of it is, oh, well, I wonder how I do that and get paid as a career. Because while influencer is like the popular word right now, this industry has been there for hundreds of years with publishing, right?

It's just changed now. Influencers sit on top of more publishing platforms than we used to have access to. But at the end of the day, we're still publishing content. We're still promoting and pushing work out in the world. But people go, how do you make money? Well, now you can earn money in so many ways.

So many ways. The problem is most influencers come up today think they're going to earn money just by doing brand deals. And I'm going to get popular and do brand deals.'m like oh you just they're not they don't understand the model it's like you know we say in montana where i'm from the time to have the map is before you enter the woods yeah and i'm like if you're trying to figure out the influencer space and you want to know all 12 major ways to monetize your voice your content your message your brand you

should learn that as a menu before you pick one. And most people are earning like this much when they can be earning 10 or 12 times more if they just understood the model, but they think they're so clever and they're inventing this. Like I know so many, I mean, so many people are like, oh, we're not, you know, I'm original. I'm doing this. I'm like, this was here before. You know what I mean? Just you and me too. Like we, we, we, too. Yeah. We rode in on giant shoulders. Uh-huh. Yeah. And so I think it's for people who really have those two things.

But there's more money to be made now as an influencer than there ever was before. Yeah. There's more opportunities. There's more models for making money, different methods. And you've got a couple of key themes and a framework on becoming an influencer, figuring out your message, the model, the mechanisms, everything. And I want to kind of break them down. The first thing you talk about is the message, is getting clear on your message is what I'm assuming, right? As an influencer, is it important to know what your message is and how do you find your message if

you're trying to become an influencer? Yeah, because the death of most influencers, they don't realize is their randomness. Right. They're just excited. I'm going to post everything. I'm going to talk about everything. But they've never created a cohesive message that their audience goes, I get her. I understand her.

It's not like you have to say the same thing over and over and over. But there has to be something that means something to you. One thing I admire about what you do, buddy, is how you talk about greatness. That theme and that messaging is so tight. And honestly, over the last three years, when I listened to your show, I'm like, he's just dialing this in, right? You know, your word choice. Now, you know, your phrases, you know, what you're saying. It's not just being repetitive on those. It's just, that's who you are. And that integrity of your message is being shown. So you better be intentional about the kind of person you're trying to become. Because most

people think about message. They go, oh, so I need to have a mission statement, Brandon. I'm like, no, no, no. You are the message, the integrity of who you are and how you show up energetically and how you treat other people. That's the message. The role model mentality. Yes. Yeah. The role model of your message. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's what message. The role model mentality. Yes. Become a role model of your message. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, because that's what integrity is. It's like people are going to watch you and go,

are you congruent here and there? And if you're not, like that message feels funny to them. But you and I both know a lot of influencers, they've never done any deep introspection. Yeah. They've put on 50 different clothes and beautiful Instagram things, but they don't know who they are. Yeah. Or they got the mental health challenge, which is what we're going to talk about later. Yeah. They put on 50 different clothes and beautiful Instagram things, but they don't know who they are.

Yeah. Or they got the mental health challenge, which is what we're going to talk about later. Yeah. But the message, getting clear on your message and kind of the theme of your brand, the theme of your influence, I think is key. Yeah. And this cannot, listen, it doesn't mean you have to be a perfect human being. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to learn.

You're going to grow. But it's like trying to be congruent with your message consistently. For you, it's like trying to be congruent with your message consistently. For you, you know, it's high performance habits. For your book, you talk about it in your podcast. You talk about it in your events. You live that. And you showcase that. For me, with greatness, it's kind of like what are the core themes of living a great life

and business, health, relationships, and everything involved. And it's trying to do the best to live that all the time and talk about it consistently. Including the failures. Absolutely. Like that's part of it. Show to do the best to live that all the time and talk about it consistently. Including the failures. Absolutely. That's part of it. Showcasing the failures. I think when influencers showcase their mistakes and failures, it makes them more real, more likable. Yeah.

That's why everyone likes me because I'm a hot mess all the time. Exactly. So you've got to get clear on the message first. Do you have a mechanism for, it's like, well, I kind of like everything. How do you figure out what your message is? Is there a process or just like some journaling that you could share? Yeah. I mean, first sitting down and saying, what do you want to be a role model on?

Like, if you want to be a role model, what is it about? And how does that translate into a person's real life? Like, what would you say to an actual person to help them or inspire them? And you just have to start writing those words. Like, what would I say? Like, what would you say to an actual person to help them or inspire them? And you just have to start writing those words. Like what would I say? Like what would I say? It's that old thing of like if you could put a message on a billboard or if something was written on your tombstone, like what are those things? For me, like a lot of people know it's like live, love, and matter.

Because when I faced my death as a 19-year-old kid, I was like, oh, I learned I really want to live life. I learned because I was a heartbroken kid. I wanted to love again and feel my heart again. I learned that life is super short, so you better make your difference. So Live, Love, and Matter became central to everything I did for 15 years. Like every message revolved around that because that was me, and that was a unique experience I had. I think a lot of people have to go and dig down deep into their experiences

of their life and say, what were some of the gifts of the lessons that I learned? Some of the awful things that happened to us or the challenging things, those struggles, there's a story there. And that story can reveal some lessons or things that you might be a role model to for people. And it doesn't have to be so finite that just like this is it forever. Because you'll keep evolving. You'll keep learning. But there's hints there.

And you can go dig in your past to find some of those hints. You can also just ask, well, what are the passions that I really feel in my heart that I just want to communicate right now? Some people, it's like, well, that's fashion for them. Some people, it's health for them. Being a mom. Being a mom. Being an educator. Just showing everyday life.

That's fine because ultimately, again, you are the message. So the most important thing isn't to figure out what am I gonna say, it's the most important thing is who are you? Who are you is the key. Dig deep, man. Asking that question.

Yes, who are you? One of the things we do is I ask people, come up with three words that describe the best of who you are. Mm, that's great. These are aspirational words. If you think of three words, when I'm at my best, these three words really define me.

Yeah. And then I say, okay, now figure out what are three words that really describe the best of you when you're with other people? How do you treat them? And then what I have them do is I literally have them program in their phone as an alarm. The alarm clock, right? Yeah, I have that in my alarm. Still 8.30 a.m.

You still do? Yeah. That's it. I need to change that like 6.30, but it It's still 8.30 a.m. You still do? Yeah. That's it. I need to change that to like 6.30, but it's like an 8.30 a.m. reminder. That's it. Mine's still in here. You know, I've been doing this for whatever. Let me see.

There was my 9 a.m. Dynamic, bold, and confident. And that was for today because I was like, you know, I'm usually a little more reserved in Lewis's interviews because he's the man. You know, be a little more bold and confident. I have loving, giving, achiever. That's it. Yeah, loving, giving, achiever. So's it. Yeah, loving, giving, achiever.

So I could probably change that too, yeah. Yeah, so I switch mine every week. So three words that you would describe as yourself and then three words that you would want other people to describe you as or that you would describe yourself as. Yeah, so three words you describe yourself as, like the best of who you are. Yeah.

And that's just you, like your identity. And then the other one is more like relationships. Like three words to describe how you are with other people For example, my word there bold like that can describe me as a person how I think but I wouldn't want you would ever go Well Brendan when he's with me, he's real bold that's different like how you are with other people should have a certain definition and Description and how you are by yourself Should have a certain and that's how you you are by yourself should have a certain.

And that's how you start to get to know yourself. Like, oh, I'm like, this is a person. And with other people, I'm like, this is a person. And it's like shaping your own internal identity of your qualities and reminding yourself of who you are. Labeling yourself a little bit in a positive way. Yeah. Because most people, they take the labels

the world gave them. Oh, you're just the athlete, Lewis. Yeah, exactly. Right, if you just took that and that was all you ever owned and you never explored beyond that we wouldn't be here that's true right we're here because you explored who am i and you are still doing that so am i like it's not like it's a thing that stops but people want to see you working that through i think like 15 20 years ago like in my teens i say like, man, you suck to myself all the time. You're a loser. You suck. I hate you. You know, I'd say these words to myself, like you're never going

to do anything better than this person or you're never going to be enough, whatever. I would say these things internally. And those start to shape you as well. And they start to shape how you treat other people, your reactions and how you treat yourself. That's right. So I think this is a very powerful, simple exercise that we've been doing for so many years now that we kind of forget the power of this. Yeah. But I'm glad you made this reminder because I never say those things to myself anymore. It's always like, you know, you're kind, you're loving, you're passionate, you're wise, you're giving, you're caring.

I say these things all the time. I never even say anything negative. Yeah. You give yourself patience on the days you're not, you're wise, you're giving, you're caring. I say these things all the time. I never even say anything negative, ever. You give yourself patience on the days you're not. Absolutely. And that's a hard thing for people because they're supposed to be kind and one day they're a jerk and then they're like, I'm a jerk, and they go back to that old bad label. But it's like what your audience wants to see if you're an influencer

is you working through the development of you. They want to be on that journey with you and see like, oh, I see him or her becoming because they're willing to ask the hard questions about themselves and explore who they are. Because if you can't be an influencer, not explore who you are. I mean, even the great presidents of our time were always in motion of exploring who they are the great business people I mean it's not like you know Elon Musk has been exactly Elon Musk exactly ten years ago as he is today it's like you you're seeing this evolution this change and sometimes it's a hot mess and other times you're like oh this person's you know people want to

be on the journey with you as you're exploring who you are and if you're not exploring who you are you're not growing and if you're not growing the audience is not growing starts to die they're not interested so you are, you're not growing. And if you're not growing, the audience is not growing. It starts to die. They're not interested. So true. So get clear on your message. Figure out your three words. And that's a great start there.

Now, the next thing is figure out your market. Yeah. What do you mean by that? What is a market? Yeah. Well, one, I don't like that term, especially for guys like you and me who we do like so many walks of life. Listen to your show and my show. Multiple industries and markets yeah

i look at like you know how you look at the analytics of like my when i look at like the brandon show podcast is like holy crap all these countries all these like you can't if you come to our events i've gone to your events too you can't do a demographic run of that audience not like all 32 year old male sales executives no and the car industry that's the old world of marketing you had to speak to one specific person what people don't understand if they've never studied year old male sales executives in the car industry. That's the old world of marketing. You had to speak to one specific person. What people don't understand if they've never studied the history of marketing is that the reason that niche marketing came out, that concept of just identifying one person to talk to.

And some people now say, you know, identify your customer avatar. I'm like, no, you're identifying avatars. It's plural. Because the reason that came so popular in marketing back in the day was only for one reason, because in the 20s, sort of the golden age of marketing and advertising, you only had so much budget to run a certain ad on one platform. So you really had to get super niche and narrow. Now we're able to reach a couple billion people. Now we're able to have broader conversations. So what you want to do

with your market is try to understand what are the aspirations of the people i want to serve looking like it's about the aspirations not about the demographic it's the mindset yes and i always talk about that like for, school of greatness is not about, you know, the 32-year-old mom with two kids. Right. It's more of a mindset and a mentality. Yeah. And that's what we look for. Someone with a growth mindset.

There you go. I call them conscious achievers. Yeah. People are looking to achieve in their life, but in a conscious way. Yeah. They want to grow personally and they want to impact people around them. I love that. If they have that mentality, then you're a part of the community.

Yeah. And that's who I try to speak to. Yeah. But it could be a 16 year old or a 60 year old. Yeah. Could be people from all over the world, but it's like this conscious achieving mentality. I love that. And that's what I focus on. I love that. You got to have that. Yeah. You have to have that. And I want to tell people all the time is like, if you're not out with your students, your fans, your followers, and you're not really getting to know them, at some point you're going to lose that audience because you just don't know them. It's true. You need to know what's in their heart, not their age. You need to know what's in their heart, not every part of their background or where they were raised and everything else. That kind of market analysis is overdone and corporations love to pay for that.

And when they do deals with me, they're're always like tell me everything about your people and I'm like they have the aspiration to go to the next level that's it for me that's it that is my market I I have always for the last 15 years marketed and talked to people who were in that transition moment of their life and ready to go to the next level I didn't speak to those who were just starting that was my audience you know who didn't know what person I always went high end in the sense of like, I speak to people who are ready to go to the next level. They've already got one level of, you know, security or, or, or like sense of themselves or success. And now they're like, you know what? Next level time. So they're like in that phase where like gearing up, you know, they're like, here we go. They're not kind of like, oh, I don't feel motivated.

That wasn't my audience. My market was an aspiration to go to the next level and I was focused on that. And it's what made for me with our brands, like how did you do all those seven figure launches, 28 of them? I spoke to that aspiration specifically. So people knew this is for me.

This is for me. So in like a 20 seconds, say you're doing a video to attract the aspirational mindset or the heart set of this individual. And you have a video that spreads out to the world and you know it's going to attract a certain type of person to come into your offering. What would you say in 15, 20 seconds, a few key words that would be leading people into kind of where you wanted them to go? So it was the right kind of mindset. Yeah. What would you say? You're somebody who you've already, you feel like you've tried everything. You know, you've been at this for years. You don't feel like you've gotten that

breakthrough just yet. You're doing good, but there's too many days you don't feel as motivated or as driven as you really want to, to go to the next level. And you feel like you need some more empowerment to really achieve that next level. Not kind of like just get inspired or motivated because that can come and go, but rather you're looking for real tactical solutions that will help you earn more, that will help you become more, that will show you like step-by-step. This is how you reach that next level. And not from my opinion, it's that I've spent 15 years researching the highest performing people on the planet. What they do is very specific. And if you're honest, you haven't been very specific. You've been random. And because you're good, you already have some success. You're able to just go through

the motions. But going through the motions is the killer of the high performer. It's true. Right? Because good to great. Yes. You can be good, but that's not going to take go through the motions. Yeah. But going through the motions is the killer of the high performer. It's true. Right? Good to great. Yes. You can be good, but that's not going to take you to the next level. So I'm going to assume you're already good, but you sense inside that there's a restlessness

and there's a struggle there that you don't know what that breakthrough feels like. But you also, you're very aware of this next level. You have a dream. You have something you want to achieve. So let's just dial in your motivation. Let's dial in your habits,

but let's give you the discipline and the willpower to make it happen so get clear on your message the market then there's a method what does the method mean uh i always love to talk about method with people it's like method acting yeah yeah yeah no for real it's like like picasso had a method van gogh had a method beethoven had a method. They were thoughtful about the art of what they did. And influencers need to think about that. You thought about, I want a podcast that's going to be like this. Exactly. And as you honed that in over the years, the podcast got better.

Yeah. Because you brought more intention to the method. Right? That's true. Actors who just show up and kind of read the words, not good. But the greats, they're so thoughtful about the turn of the phrase and how they're going to do this. The great musician, the great artist, they obsess about the actual art of the thing. Because, again, just showing up, especially when you're good, it's going to limit you.

Now you want to be more intentional and say, what is this? It's like I've shared with you before, you know, having the blessing of working with Oprah, she starts meetings by asking what's our intention here. Greatness requires a lot of intention. It does. It doesn't just happen by showing up. Yeah.

You got to get clear on the results and the experience you want to create. Yeah. You see a really high-achieving influencer do a photo shoot way different than somebody who's not high-achieving. The intention and the placement of things and where this goes and how this works. Closing everything.

That's method. That's like bringing art to the method. Like when I wrote Motivation Manifesto, I was like, okay, I'm going to write a book that's never been written before in a tone that hasn't been seen in hundreds of years. I was like, how do I figure that? I'm like, it was an art project.

If what you are doing as an influencer doesn't feel like an art project, you're just simply doing it wrong. And you're going to burn out and you're going to quit. So give me examples of methods for someone like a Rachel Hollis and a Jay Shetty. Yeah. What's like their method from your point of view? Yeah. Jay's super intentional about his videos like i sit him down and we did influencer day with him and we said i asked him like 40 questions how do you do these videos he's intentional from when the video is changing

to the tone of the music and when it's lifting to when other people appear in the video versus just him he's intentional about the length of the video he's intentional about what day the video is posted he's made time. Time, everything. Because what most people do, slop it together, throw it up. He's like really tried to dial it down to a very specific process that draws emotion from people. And so that's a method.

Yup. And his thing is viral video. Yes. It's artistic viral video that creates an emotional feeling for someone. It's not just like this scientific videos or how-to videos. It's like an emotional feeling that people want to watch and share. And you've thought that too as well.

That's why you've got hundreds of millions of views. Absolutely. And it's just like versus guys like me who sometimes just put up a very inspiring video, but we didn't put the B-roll in. We didn't put the music up and down. We didn't put the music up and down. We didn't clip it at the right spot. You know, so that same... It's a different method.

Exactly. Different method, different results. Yeah. And to those who put more into the method, they win. They're the better artists. Like an influencer has to understand you are in the art of impacting people.

And if you're in the art of impacting people, you better focus on the art as much as the impact. You know what I'm saying. That's really good. That's become sort of my obsession is getting people to understand you don't read a book to check a box. You don't go to school to impress your parents. You do it because the skill that you will acquire lets you do something in the world that other people can't do or you wouldn't be able to do. And that has a material impact on your life.

Yeah, I feel like you and I are very similar in the fact that we talk about skills a lot and acquiring new skills. And I think when you have a down phase or a breakdown phase, that's when you should think about what are the skills I'm lacking that could benefit me so this doesn't happen again. I remember my early 20s, I had a lot of free time because I was broken on my sister's couch. I just obsessed over skills. And when you learn a skill that is hard that you don't think you can accomplish and you actually master it, for me, I feel unstoppable. I feel like I can accomplish anything.

I feel like even in a setting where I feel uncomfortable, as long as I know in the back of my head, I've got these other skills that maybe they don't know about that I can pull out at any time. It just makes me more confident. I don't know if you feel the same way about acquiring skills. 100%. And it's interesting. And I know you talk about it. So some people in your audience, I'm sure have a sense, but I think of you very differently than they think of you. So I don't think of you as on-air talent, though you were obviously very gifted at that because i've spent so much time with you outside of that like talking strategy around how do you grow a podcast how do you get good at um youtube how do you build a business like

whatever and seeing how adept you are at those skills like that's where it gets interesting so that people understand that all the things you talk about all the training that you do and stuff it isn't the part that they see like the school of greatness is sort of the tip of this very large iceberg of skills that you're building um and that to me is the fascination when when you're not focused on the tip but you're focused on actually building that that foundational set of skills what you can do with your life and what you can make as the tip of the iceberg that other people will recognize becomes really really really interesting. It's interesting. My skill was never, I'm a good interviewer or a host or anything. I never learned that skill. My skill was, actually, my fear was

connecting with people. And as a teenager, I learned that in order to become successful in my life, I had to learn how to connect with people and build relationships. So I turned a fear into a superpower of building relationships. Then translating that into, okay, let me interview people was another thing I had to learn, but it was never my gift from birth. It was a skill I had to acquire and overcome.

What was the greatest fear in the last five years that you had to overcome that has now become a skill or a superpower for you? I think the only thing that I've sort of thought through like that is I feel like Kobe Bryant when he split from Shaq. And it was like he wanted to, he obviously had won a championship with Shaq,

but could he win a championship on his own? And so my last company was so successful, but I did it with two partners. And so now to have a new partner in Lisa, it's like, okay, can I also lead this team to a championship? And so that drives me in a way that I find so fun of like, okay, cool. Hey, as a part of that group, smashed but can i do it over here so that like reinvention you know trying things and letting myself feel the weight of like hey you gotta you gotta prove it buddy like right you know you had a big success once can you do it again and so doing that under new circumstances to me like i love that like i love the excitement of can i willy wony uh so that's a lot of fun but that's something that i think if i thought about the world differently so i don't value myself for

achieving it so whether i achieve it or not is irrelevant but showing up every day and sincerely pursuing it is what i value myself for and i like to feel that sort of weight of like, hey, maybe you won't. Maybe you're going to fail. Maybe like it was only you as a part of this collective. Hey, you did a great job there. Or maybe it was just that moment in time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you rode a wave.

But like over here, can you create something from scratch? Can you repeat it? So, yeah, that. It's not, I don't live in a space of letting that be a fear. Sure, sure. But it's like that is, it's a cousin of that feeling. Where do you think all success starts with? Well, the fast answer is mindset. Going back to the only belief that matters, you said it. The way you act is ultimately all that matters. And the way you act follows what you allow yourself to believe.

Or maybe a better way to say it is what you choose to believe. So if you choose to believe that your energy and efforts will result in more skill set, then you will actually put energy and effort into getting that, which means you actually will get the skill set. But if you think, well, my talent and intelligence are fixed. So no matter how much I work, I'm never going to get better, right? I can't be a fast pig. And if you don't think that putting time and energy into it

will yield anything then you won't put time and energy into it and you thusly won't get the skills so and if you don't have the skills and you can't do the things other people can do and so people just get stuck because they don't have the only belief that matters so they don't put the time and energy and so that's like where everything starts is are you putting the time and energy. And so that's like where everything starts is, are you putting the time and energy into getting better? Yes or no? Yeah.

And when do you get the most angry and reactive? Are there things that make you reactive? Yes, very much so. Maybe not angry, but like, this frustrates me. Don't do that. I think the same. And I think you're right. I'm not somebody who's quick to anger in 99.9

of my life yeah you might not scream with anger i want to louis that 0.1 really does get from me exactly where you're going which is um when i see somebody accept excuses, make excuses, do less than they can, and it impacts me. So if I'm honest, if it's just impacting them, I don't get angry, right? I feel compassion. Yeah. But when it's like, and now you're dragging me down. Now you're slowing me down. Now you're trying to talk me out of something. Now you're telling me I dream too big. Now you're hurling stones at me or whatever, because of something that you've got on you and i'm freaking you out because of how i'm moving or what i'm going for or whatever that actually does make me angry so how often how often does your team make you frustrated if they're not taking responsibility 100 in time and because we have like so one thing i learned

back at quest because we grew so fast and i just wasn't smart enough at the time, you're only as good as what you write down. And you can be small and sort of communicate everything in these interpersonal relationships. As you get bigger, it goes away. Yeah. And hope people have it memorized or something. Interesting. You're only as good as what you write down. Correct.

When you're running a company. Yeah. you're only as good as what you write down. Correct. When you're running a company. Yeah. In terms of like having a process documented that someone could implement, not just a simple conversation

that you hope they memorize. 100%. So coming into impact theory, you have to sign, it's not a pledge, but it's about as close to a pledge as you're going to get. And it's our culture code document.

And it says things like, you will take 100% responsibility for your job you will be expected to look beyond your role i mean just like all these things i love this and one of them is i only want to play with hardcore and it says this is not a safe space so do not come here expecting people to um like look we here's the thing i also expect you to elevate your team and to lift them up and to celebrate them and want them to win and like cheer them on and never worry about whether it was your idea. The only relationship worth being in,

because all relationships are sacrifice, the only relationship worth being in is where you feel like, whoa, like this person really cares about me. And I want people to retire at Impact Theory at a time where millennials stay at a company for 18 months i'm asking them to stay for 40 years wow now to do that i've got to give you emotional stability i've got to give you somewhere where you can build trust where people are honest with you but in being honest people

are going to be direct they're going to say hard things in the spirit of i want to lift you up i want to see you get better because remember we believe that you can get better and if you put your time and energy into improvement that you actually will improve and therefore you get more out of your life the company gets more out of your involvement but like i really had to be hardcore about that because you know you'll hear a lot people say you know don't hire for skills hire for culture or john wooden sort of the best explainer of this the famous basketball coach i don't look for the best player. I look for the best fit. That really is true, man. When you get somebody who like you can really relate to and you can say hard things and they're receptive and they say hard things and you know, they're coming from a good place. It elevates you. Yeah. And it's

fun to be around, right? As a social animal, we just love that stuff. So that's huge, but I'm really hardcore on the way in so that once you're in, like we can give you grace. Like imagine if you were on my team and I don't, I try never to refer to people as employees. I slip up from time to time, but I really think of them as teammates. So if you're my teammate and you're like, hey, look, man, I'm really having a hard time. My girlfriend and I are, we're just in a dark place right now. And I'm going to need a couple of weeks just to go sort it out. Don't even explain. I got it. Cool. I got you. Tell me what I need to know to be able to pick up the slack for you. We refer to vacations as being sacred. So we don't have the only vacation policy we have is that it's unlimited.

So do whatever you want, get your work done. You need to be a high performer, yada, yada, yada. But like, if you need the time to deal with your girlfriend, the death of the family, whatever, take that time. Be an adult. Autonomy is huge for me. I assume it's huge for most people. So, but to do that, you've got to say, this is the criteria we expect you to meet. You need to be high performing the rest of the time you're here.

And if any of this turns you off, this is not the place. And it says that in the document. Like if this does not, if you're not prepared to do this, this, this, this, this, this, this, then this is not the place for you. Wow. So is it literally saying a line,

this is not a safe place? Yes. This is not a safe space. What does that mean? Not a safe space? It means that I'm going to make absolutely no effort to protect your feelings. I'm going to make absolutely no effort to protect your feelings

i'm going to never ever ever sacrifice clarity for kindness now i will be as kind i want to be kind dude i want you to be kind to me i want to be kind to you my wife is my partner i would never want an environment that was tearing her down so it was like in the spirit of trying to elevate people. I'm not a Machiavellian kind of guy. That's gross to me. That is such a turnoff. I want to, like you would treat a friend, dude, if you're in a dark time,

you're gonna underperform and I'm down. I'm with it. I will do your work for you to create the space for you to have that moment. Because I know at some time it's gonna be my moment. But that only works if I'm not parasitic you're not parasitic it's gonna be hard enough if you don't have ill intent now if you are lazy if you have ill intent if you are trying to milk the system or whatever then it's never gonna work but if it's just legitimately you're going through a

period we will all go through which is a very hard time for whatever the hundreds of reasons throughout our lives that we will underperform, be in a dark place, whatever. If at that moment, people lift you back up, they brush you off, remind you of who you are and who you can be, and they love you and they're there with you. Cool. We all get it. But to do that, you really have to have a code of behavior on the way and you just have to like the the every day of it all what do we expect and i want to be around hardcore people yeah for their own reasons right i don't want to have to sweat you i don't even want to think about you like i want you to go i want you to go do your thing i want to do my thing i want to be able to count on you to crush it and you can definitely count on you to crush it. And you can definitely count on me to crush it. And then if I need you, I will ask and hopefully you will aid me. And if

you need me, fuck, I'm going to run to your side to help you. But I don't want to micromanage. So like, I want you to be good at what you do, to be getting better every day for your own reasons. And there is a certain subset of humanity that is like that. If you get them in your company and you set them free, they won't all get in the groove, but 80%, it's pretty magical. What's the best hire you ever made? My wife. Besides your wife.

There have been a lot, dude. I'm super stoked on my team. How about instead of saying a person, I will give you types of personality that I find intoxicating. Number one, somebody who is so convinced that they're not yet good enough to achieve their dreams, but so believe they can get there and are what I call a relentless problem solver. A relentless problem solver is worth their weight in gold. I don't need them to be highly educated. They will educate themselves over time.

Somebody who's not afraid to speak to power, that is a big deal. I have a very strong personality and unintentionally I shut some personality types down. And a quote that popped into my mind one day when a person who shall remain nameless didn't use these exact words, but basically said, slow down so I can lead. And I was like, yeah, no, that does not work. Someone on your team said that. Yes, not an impact theory,

but at a point in my life, somebody once effectively said, slow down so I can lead. And I remember being incensed that this person would allow themselves to say those words. Like that's so anathema to who I am. Like I could see myself saying, I can't keep up with you. You need to lead. And then I would follow and be the greatest follower that I could be. So that notion of like, I want people that make me sweat. I want people that are like, they're trying to be so good for their, their actions, their behaviors, everything. But what are the times that frustrates you the most

outside of your company? Ooh, just in my personal life? Yeah, just in life in general. Inefficiency is the only thing that winds me up. It's the only thing that I will say I'm irrational about. So- You're reactive too. You see something and you're like, ah. Nobody in the outside world would know because that's just ridiculous. I recognize that it's, it's an offshoot of something that's very

powerful in my life. My obsession with always doing things as efficiently as possible. But I also recognize that life isn't like you can't on my deathbed. I will never say, wow, I was efficient. Efficiency is useful towards getting to a goal. And so I prize it and I love it and all that. But my wife has tempered me and shown me that sometimes just the connecting, just being with somebody, just sitting and being is, is joyful. Yeah. Not even, not even just enough. Like it, it is precisely what the doctor ordered. And so, and I'm not great at that. Not having to be efficient all the time at something. Like, I'll give you an example. My wife on a Saturday will be telling me a story

and I'll be like, oh God, please like narrow this down. Like say this faster. And every single time I have done that, I have thought that was a really dumb way to handle this moment. Like let that part of your brain go. Part of this for her is the joy of telling the story and if it takes her an hour and it's joyful for her what does it matter

and having to sort of step in and out like i've done everything i can to confuse whether i'm at work or at play and moments like that where at work the efficiency really really serves me but now at this moment with my wife, and we may even be talking about work, but it's in a different context. It's a Saturday, you know, and just sitting in the kitchen and, you know, enjoying each other's time. And she'll talk about something that bumps me back into a work mode. And now I'm just sort of coveting that efficiency. And it's just terrible for the relationship. You know, one of the most fun moments for me of witnessing you in the last six years was no can you guess i actually have no idea i think you saw me we're in puerto rico and you were sitting with your wife

on a on the beach you're on a flatbed chair sitting back just holding her just sitting there looking into the ocean no phone no nothing maybe you were thinking about business in some way but i was like that's a really nice moment to watch you be calm and be still emotional lewis no i'm serious though this just came to me because i only see you in hustle walt disneyland out of the matrix world like let's crush it but i was like this is a really nice moment to just witness for a few seconds you be present with your wife.

And I'm sure you do this all the time on the weekends and stuff. But I was like, I want to see more of that as your friend. Yeah, yeah. It can be 10 minutes a week. It doesn't have to be all the time. But this was a beautiful moment that I was like, that's what I think the world needs more in general in their own lives.

I'm not saying that's what you're going to do because your personality is driven on other things, but I think it's in some ways healthy as well. I don't even think you have to couch it. It is extraordinarily healthy. I think it's absolutely necessary in everybody's life, mine included. Part of what makes my marriage, my single greatest joy is Lisa is good at what I am not good at. And so very early in the marriage, we said, okay, you, you're the canary in the coal mine. So I trust you. If you ever say we need to slow down, I will slow down instantly. You're more important to me than my business. So, and she is never abusive about it.

So whenever she says something like, hey, let's go sit on the beach, I know, be there on the beach with her. I'm not like, hey, she's not looking at me. She's facing away on the ocean so I can think about whatever I want. No, no, no. It's like that's where you smell the nape of her neck and you like drink in that neurochemistry of that bond. How do you silence your thoughts over the obsessiveness of what you want to create in the moment of being present and connected with your partner? One practice, so I meditate a lot out of necessity. And then two is understanding that when you reinforce a behavior,

you really start to get something positive out of it. So when I'm there, like literally yesterday, there is a smell that my wife gets on her neck if she hasn't showered in a day. So she might skip a shower on the weekend, right? Oh my God, oh my God. It is the most intoxicating scent ever. And scent is the only of the senses

that goes directly to the part of the brain, the emotional center of the brain. Everything else goes into a relay station first. It's the only part that goes directly into the limbic parts of your brain. So that's why when you smell a barbecue or whatever, you're like, I'm hungry again. And you're just in it.

And when that smell is on my wife's neck, nothing else exists. It is just my wife's neck, nothing else exists. It is just my wife. So Lisa, just don't shower every other day. If you wanted to slow down or do something else. I mean, that's one trigger. It's, yeah. So what do you prize, right?

What is your value system? So nothing, not all the business success in the world has brought me the level, the sustained amount and the amplitude of joy that being in a relationship with my wife has brought me the level the sustained amount and the amplitude of joy that being in a relationship with my wife has brought me so i have so much clarity about what my values are it's just that they don't often conflict but when they do and my wife says hey slow down or hey i need time or you know let's make sure we take x number of days off a year or whatever i do it no questions asked even

though i'm you know sort of hard charging the rest of the time. And so we do dumb stuff. We shut down for Christmas. Our impact theory, my wife and I just talked about it this year. We will always and forever shut down for about two weeks at Christmas. And I don't expect anybody to work. I'm not going to be working. Go be with your family. Don't think about this stuff. Does not working for you mean actually not doing any strategizing of the mind not taking notes or working on an outline for a potential book or oh this is a great character for my next movie i would do anything that's fun so there is fun for you yes so there will be some fun things i'm sure that i will do yeah but i'm more off the radar during Christmas than other times. So you off the radar for Christmas in two weeks is more productive than most people's entire year on the radar.

Well, so and we can talk about that because that that I have gone way, way, way out of my way to make sure that I built. So Lisa and I had enough success. I never needed to work again. So if you're going to work, then you might as well structure for two things. The moment, like the in the moment joy. So doing this hard thing, I actually find intrinsically pleasurable. And I will say 40% of my life, work life is that. 60% is not.

But 40% is I would do this whether I was building a business or not. Getting paid or not for it. Right. You love it. That's huge. And then the other is impact. So if you can make impact doing something that you would be doing anyway, that's amazing. I hope you enjoyed today's episode

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