The School of Greatness - 553 Redefining Masculinity with Andy Frisella and Lewis Howes

Episode Date: October 23, 2017

"It takes way less energy to be positive than it does to be negative." If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes and more at http://lewishowes.com/553

This is episode number 553, Redefining Masculinity with myself and Andy Frisella. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro-athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome back, guys. Very excited about this.

We are one week away from the book launch. That's right. The Mask of Masculinity is out in one week. If you haven't got your copy yet, make sure to go get it at maskofmasculinity.com or you can get it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all the good places online, my friends. Go pre-order, copy your book. It's going to be a game changer. And today we've got a very special episode. I recently went on my good friend, special episode. I recently went on my good friend Andy Frisella's podcast, the MFCEO,

and we went deep talking about both of our experiences as a man and what it means to be a man today versus what we were taught growing up. Now, Andy is one of the most manly looking dudes you'll ever meet. Got the beard, got scars on his face from a knife fight he was in. meet. Got the beard, got scars on his face from a knife fight he was in. He's just a massive, strong guy. He talks like the typical guy you might think of, but one of the sweetest, kindest human beings I've ever met. So even though he may look like your typical, let's say jock workout alpha man, he doesn't define himself as that. And he doesn't come off that way when you're in person with him, when you're connecting with him, when you really connect to his heart, he lives a life of service. And we wanted to talk about how you can still be a man today, still live the way you want to live, still act the way you want to act, but also be more than

just a selfish person or a person that's just out to get what he or she wants. And really about building something bigger, something more meaningful with your life and what it means to be a man and redefining masculinity in today in our society right now. His audience was going crazy for this episode and I got so many messages that I felt like I wanted you guys to hear this as well. So we are republishing part of the episode. We've cut it down where we're publishing part of the episode and we've got the full transcript over at lewishouse.com slash 553 as well. So you can go read or download the PDF transcript over there if you guys are interested in that. And if you would like me to do more transcripts, just send me a message over at support

at schoolofgreatness.com. And what we covered in today's episode was what win-win actually means and why it's so important. Also, the difference between focusing on purpose versus focusing on winning. Big concept I had to learn a few years back. Also, what makes a true alpha male. We both talk about what it means to learn a few years back. Also what makes a true alpha male, we both talk about what it means to be a true alpha male, why being authentic and showing your humanity

creates trust, and also how vulnerability makes you more competitive. So a lot of things that are contradictory to what some of us guys thought about growing up, and we talk about kind of the pros and cons of all the different types of masculine stereotypes out there and how you can rise above them to really create change in the world. Super pumped about this. Before I dive in, I want to give a shout out to our fan and review of the week. This is from Sunflower Love,

who said, these podcasts have brought so much joy to my life. I'm generally doing something while I listen, mainly yard work, and I find that I'm going back to listen again and pay closer attention because I'm so touched by the lessons and stories. Lewis has a true talent in the art of the interview, and he digs deep and invites his subjects to talk deep and share with the listener skills and encouragements. At the close of the interview, I feel as I've been given a gift.

Thanks, Lewis. I'm a huge fan. So Sunflower Love, thank you. And I hope you enjoyed the shout out for being the fan and the review of the week. If you guys want a chance to be shouted out on the podcast, all you got to do is go to your podcast app or iTunes and leave a review over there and you'll be in the running for a shout out for next week. All right, guys, I'm excited about this one. Again, if you enjoyed this one, make sure to share with your friends,

tag me on Instagram and Twitter at Lewis Howes. Give some shout out love to Andy Frisella as well and go check out his podcast when you're done with this one. All right, guys. Without further ado, let's dive into this one, Redefining Masculinity with myself and Andy Frisella. The reason I wanted to do this was because the publisher for my last book was like, okay, let's do a business or marketing book. And I was just like, you know what? One of the 50 million out there. Yeah. And I was just like, you know what? I'm just not feeling it. And what I'm feeling is the thing that I talked about once in my podcast and started to open up a little bit

about that is actually making the biggest impact to my audience is this topic. And I didn't know that these crazy racial marches and gender wars and political dysfunction and challenges that are happening in the country. And now with the Vegas shooting, it's like I wasn't aware two years ago when I started writing this book that all this was going to be happening. And I feel like so much of the tension and anger and stress,

it's coming from men. It's starting from men who don't feel safe within themselves, who feel insecure, who are afraid, and they lead with, I need to win. I need to be right. I need to kill.

You took the words out of my mouth. I was just going to say, I swear this is what I was going to say. People are too worried about winning because they want to look a good way as opposed to solving a problem. That's it, man. And so they vent that they use the win as the expression of they're smarter, they're better, they're stronger.

They're right. Exactly. And it's killing the world. It's killing, you know, with politics when there's not a place of how can we all win together, how can we find a solution, like you said. That's right. Marriages are going apart more than ever right now. I'm sure you're seeing this in religion.

It's like more tension ever within marriages falling apart. It's more tension ever between, like, gender wars. There's more tension ever between like gender wars uh there's more tension with our environment dude i have this i i have i purposely avoid political discussions on social because i don't yeah the reason is is because literally finding someone who is willing to have a discussion about a solution is literally almost impossible without them needing needing to be right. That's exactly right. It's this polarizing argument about race or politics or whatever, when in reality we all want the same thing.

We all want the same thing. You can't win the argument. It's not an argument. You can't win a discussion. A discussion is about us coming to a solution. Right, right, right. You know, and I just had a DM with a really good friend of mine a discussion is about us coming to a solution right right you know and it's it's i get so i just had a dm with a really good friend of mine who's a black guy and we were going back and forth about a certain video about a cop and we were talking about you know i he posted it and you

know he used the hashtag black lives matter and it was very like it was he was saying you know if this has been a white, if this had been a black dude, they would have shot him. And I wrote him back. I said, bro, I said,

you're, you're a major influence in, in the world. I said, and this guy's, if I say his name, you guys know who he was. I said, you're a major influencer.

You realize that putting that message out is dividing people, not putting people together. I want the same thing you want people together i want the same thing you want why people want the same shit you want you know you have to quit eating what people are feeding you and start thinking on your own about what you're putting out and what the reason he did that is because he's angry on the inside about the situation you know and we don't have to win these arguments with each other we have to figure out how to come together and solve the problem and dude what you're saying is so true when it

comes to i mean dude we're going to get into all kinds of business aspects here in a minute but when it comes to online communication there's very few discussions it's a lot of arguing and it's the reason is is because people feel like they have to assert their, their intelligence through comments, you know? And the truth of it is, is most of us want the same shit. Right.

You know what I mean? We want to be united. We want to think the same things. And just because you poke a hole in something I said that I took out of context, it doesn't make you look smart. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So many people like to do that because that's the only way they get any traction. My whole life was built around that where I needed to prove everyone wrong. Right. And I used to love these quotes. Dude, I still have that in me. No, I get it. I got a big chip. It's still there too but it's like i

used to love on instagram would be like prove them wrong that was like my greatest like yeah i used to love seeing that and posting that and then i i realized my whole life has been to prove everyone else wrong right the freaking eight-year-old boys that picked me last the the man that sexually abused me yeah whatever just like teachers coaches just like i always had this mentality i'm gonna prove them wrong and i did yeah i became but then what exactly okay so such unfulfillment inside well i think it depends and then i had to go after something else yeah like continue proving wrong i think that and i say this a lot i think negativity is very underrated yes in terms of how much it could

propel you in life the most powerful yes but i feel like that when when you go from and and dude i talk about this a lot you have to evolve from that and you have to go through the process and eventually and this is how it was for me and you tell me if you agree or disagree eventually you go from being motivated, because I still am motivated by this shit. I'm not going to even deny it. I get it. But I'm more motivated by purpose.

Yes. Okay? So I've gone from trying to prove, my only motivation in life being to prove everybody wrong, to where now I'm so far past all the people that I was like trying to prove wrong. Now you're lifting others up. That's right. So now I found a purpose.

Yes. And a lot of people, if you never make that transition. So if you tell a guy who's 20 years old that it's wrong to be motivated by negativity, they're going to think there's something wrong with that because I think a lot of people are. But if you also tell them, hey, be motivated by purpose, I think that's a natural evolution people have to go through. What do you think? I think it is. I mean, I think you have to be fully self-aware and be able to realize it because I probably heard that a million times, but it never landed with me. Dude, I never knew what it meant. What does that even mean?

I heard win-win. I never knew what win-win was until four years ago. I didn't know that I could win and everyone else could win around me. Right. I was like, no, there's only one winner. But that's also your sports background, too. Exactly. Right. But I was like, there's always one winner.

Right. Either win or lose. And, dude, you and I, we talked about this before. When you get in business and success, everybody can win. Everyone. There's so much abundance. How many other dudes do you know that own supplement companies that are killing it?

A million supplement companies. I know like 30 of them. And dude, I'm friends with all the dudes. Exactly. We're all friends. We're like, hey bro,

how's this working for you? Oh, it's working like this for me. You know, like when you get into that next level of thinking and you go from wanting to kill everybody,

which dude, is extremely powerful motivation and I'm not knocking it because that's my DNA to, because like dude, when it comes down. And I'm not knocking it because that's my DNA. Because, like, dude, when it comes down to it and we get in a competition, I'm going to win. Right. Or die.

Like, that's just the way I am. But I have become so focused on purpose that now it makes sense. Like, what I'm doing makes sense. When I was trying to prove everybody wrong and that was exclusively my motivation, that was your purpose. It didn't make sense. And like you said,

you're unfulfilled and you're angry, but once you start to find a purpose and you start to see the good you're doing and you start to see the results you're producing for other people, now you get into a situation where you're fulfilled because it's not just about you. It's about everybody around you. And when you achieve by proving everyone else wrong, you still say, oh, but it doesn't feel good. It's not enough.

I need more. Right. I need to build a bigger empire to continue to prove people wrong. Right. And it's never going to feel fulfilling like we're talking about. But when you have the purpose on it and a mission to lift others up, you can finally celebrate your victories and celebrate the good that you're doing and be like, look at this person's life that's changed because of what we created in our company. And dude, I don't know how much you believe. And I don't think we've ever talked about this.

And but I don't know how much you believe in like the law of attraction. I imagine you probably believe in abundance. You know, I believe in abundance. Yeah. So I do believe in abundance. So that's what I was getting at. So I do believe in abundance. And I do believe that just because I'm successful, it doesn't mean that the dudes at Onnit or the dudes at Vysalis or the dudes at other companies can't kill it too. And I'm happy for them.

And you know why? Because I see them doing it and I'm like, I can do it too. And they see me doing it and they think the same. So it's all a synergistic energy that people put out and it creates positivity yeah and and results if that makes sense absolutely yeah like uh gary just said in one of his posts that he doesn't believe in the law of attraction he thinks it's bullshit i disagree yeah i think it's amazing i i could tell you a million stories i could tell you a million stories i have too much proof to not believe it. Yeah. And there's shit that I can't explain.

And that could be a whole other episode. But. And if you're attracting proving people wrong. Yeah. It's going to attract that negative energy in your life. Anxiety. Stress. Right.

Not good enough. Needing more. And I think that if I'm being honest, I'm a little of both. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I understand how little of both. You know what I mean? I understand how to play both. I'm far less prove people wrong than I used to be because now I'm confident with who I am

and I don't really feel like I'm like, all right, well, I'm doing this, this, this. I can name off the highlight reels, whatever. But I feel like I've proved it. You know what I mean? So there's not... Who else do you need to prove wrong? Now it's more about the mission. It's about the purpose. don't, I feel like I've proved it. Yeah. You know what I mean? So there's not, who else do you need to prove wrong? Yeah.

Now it's more about, now it's about the mission. It's about the purpose. And I think the more you lean that way, you're going to see you guys just launch into a whole new direction. Yeah. Dude, you could see it. And you're going to see the energy shift.

You're right. People are going to feel better. They're going to feel like the purpose as well. Right, right, right. As opposed to like Andy's like tension of like needing to prove someone wrong right right right i mean i still you know i mean i don't know that as athletes

and guys still be competitive right so that's so that's something i want to address about this so this is a really good tie-in to what the book is about is you know some people will read the mask of masculinity and they're going to assumeculinity, and they're going to assume, especially manly dudes, they're going to assume the book is like how to be a pussy. Right? You know what I'm saying? Because that's how they see it. And that's the whole point.

The point is that there is a balance of being a male or an alpha male. Like, dude, first of all, I think people who try to be alpha male, you're not alpha, right? Dude, the way you become alpha male is by helping other motherfuckers. That's it, man. You know what I'm saying?

And being the words out of my mouth, like you said, uh, you said about, um, you said about people trusting you when you show the vulnerability. I was just having this discussion with my wife this morning. Uh,

we were in a bathroom and I was getting ready. She's like, what do you got going on? I don't really tell her all like when I'm home, I'm home. You know what I'm saying? I go, I got Lewis in town. We're going to talk about his book, you know, this and that.

And, and she's like, oh, that's going to be good. And I'm like, yeah. I said, you know, the thing is that when we got in this like five minute discussion, I'm like, you know, so many people now that's popular now to have these, these dudes out there like teach other people how to be men. Right. Right. You know what I'm saying? You got to go chop wood and build a campfire and be a man.

Wear a beard. Right, exactly. Now, hey, I'm all about the beards, but it has nothing to do with who I am as a man. Right, right, right. You know, and I started explaining. I said, you know, one of the reasons, because I'm very fortunate,

and you are too, to have an extremely loyal fan base. Yes. Like our fan base at the MFCEO Project and my personal, me, my personal brand is so loyal and so dedicated. And I told her, I said, you know, it has to do with the fact, and I'm not going to name his name. We talked about another guy we both know who likes to be a celebrity okay and uh that that particular person likes to pretend like he's on another level than everybody else you know what i mean yeah and and the reason that

people are are loyal to us and our personal brands and in business approachable on the same level, dude, we're human. We show people that we're human. We show people that, Hey, look, dude, I'm not any different than you. I have my struggles. I have my setbacks. I have my little victories too. I have my bad days.

I don't want to do anything. I have my good days where I'm on all cylinders and people look at that and they're, you know, and it's so much more believable because it's true. Relatable too. Because it's true. People don't believe anything that's too polished. No, especially nowadays with social media. So that's what we're going to get into. Like the branding aspect, like all you people out there, and this goes for women too, they try to pretend like you're perfect and you're above and you're this and you're that because there are a few people out there who have managed to build a good following who do that shit you that's the old

way the new way to build a true tribe and a true following is to let people know who exactly you are yeah let people know the shit that you've gone through let people know the struggles you have and you know why that creates trust because they know it's the truth the most engaged photo i have on my instagram except for like a couple that went viral for whatever reason is me opening up about being sexually abused yeah like the fear i had around you know sharing it things like that i just posted it you know like a few weeks ago yeah i saw it and it got like a thousand comments and someone else made the graphic for me for Goldcast, made it for a video. Yeah.

And I didn't even make it, but I was like, oh, maybe I'll share this. Yeah. And people were like, and I've shared this again years ago on my podcast, but I have a whole new audience that doesn't know this about me. Yeah. And it's not like I'm talking about it every day. Dude. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Do you, just on a different subject, do you repeat, do you repost content, repurpose it consistently? From like three, six months ago? Yeah. That's what I do. No one's looking at stuff. Yeah. do you just on a different subject do you repeat do you repost content repurpose it consistently from like three six months ago that's what i do no one's looking at yeah right i get people who are like dude we've seen this four times i'm like bro i got a hundred extra thousand people yeah exactly yeah so and for me i'm like huh always having the polished stuff sure it's nice to show like the higher highlight reel but again there's so many of those big instagram followers or brands that just have highlight reel after highlight reel, and they're losing engagement and following.

Dude, because it's bullshit. Nobody knows it. Yeah, exactly. Your life isn't that great. You know that. Or you make me feel bad all the time. Right. Like there's something wrong with me.

Exactly. Dude, I just talked about this a few podcasts ago uh about some of the other entrepreneurs out there where they act like they're on level 20 every day all day and they're not i know they're not because they text me yeah it's like the people who ask emily if if she gets daily motivational talks from you dude dude people will ask my wife they're like they're like oh what's it like living with him i bet you're always motivated it's like look dude here's the reality stressed out oh yeah yeah when i dude, here's the reality. He's stressed out.

Yeah, when I go home, she's the one picking me up. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Of course. And that's what people don't understand. And then there's even the worst is the $30,000 millionaires, which are guys or girls that don't have any money. Well, they don't have any money who are wearing $50,000 watches,

driving the cars, and they can't afford it. Bro, I got targeted with a fucking watch ad ad I don't know, two or three days ago that was all fake fucking like APs, Rolexes, Hublots, like all fake shit. And then dude, I could talk about that for five fucking hours. It's, you know, these kids who are like, join my mastermind, my life mastermind, you're 19. I'm like, bro, you know, these kids who are like, join my mastermind, my life mastermind.

You're 19. I'm like, bro, you're 19. Right. You don't know your ass from your elbow. Right. Like you think you do. That's what being 19 is about. You know, I thought that too, man.

I'm not knocking your hustle. I appreciate it. But how about this? Go out and build something and then share that story. Exactly. Dude, I get so frustrated with that. The internet's so predatory, especially in the entrepreneur space, because you have so many people that are talking about shit, that they're just watching Gary or they're

watching Grant or they're watching us, and they're just regurgitating that shit in some program. It's like, bro, you haven't lived it. And living it and talking about it is two different things. Yeah. And everybody knows it. Exactly. Yeah.

I was going to say real quick, for the people who don't share things, the girls on Instagram, the ones who travel. Oh, no. Like, dude, imagine what they're not showing or what they're not telling people. Like the 70-year-old dude. Dude, yeah. That brought him on the trip. So, like, dude, so I was going to say that. So, you know, and at First Form form we have a number of athletes and influencers

that promote the brand all over instagram right my biggest challenge my biggest and these these are people that have anywhere from a hundred thousand uh to up to 11 million 12 million followers right um my biggest challenge with those people has been to have this discussion with them really like because they're always looking perfect, aren't they? But if you read their captions when they post about first form, they're talking about the real shit. And so my biggest victory this year has been to just get these people to step out

because they were so unwilling to do that. Make them look human like you were saying earlier. And everything's photoshopped and touched up. Every single one of them that has listened and done it has come back to me and been like, dude, this is awesome. I love this. I love being a part of this brand.

It's because you're getting real interaction now, too. You guys allow me to tell the truth. Nobody else wants to see the truth. Everybody wants to see the highlight reel. And, like, dude, they're all so appreciative of being a part of it because, dude, they've been told. They've been taught. And if you've paid attention to Instagram for the last three years, that's what we've been taught. We've been taught perfection.

We've been taught the highlight reel. You follow the high-end entrepreneurs. They're always showing their toys and this and that. And very few of them tell their story. Yeah. You know what I mean? And the story of the struggle is where the value is, man. It is.

That's where the connection comes from. struggle is where the value is, man. It is. That's where the connection comes from. You know, if you're an aspiring influencer, you listen to this, which I know a lot of them do, whatever space you're in. Dude, it is good business to be vulnerable. Absolutely. And I know Vaughn has been wanting to ask this question about, you know, how often do

you talk about your struggles or your vulnerabilities? Because you could go the other spectrum, right, Vaughn? Right. You don't want to turn into a whiny. Every day. Like, day like oh my life you don't want to be a victim dude so that was something i wanted to bring up yes can i insert yes real quick yeah you guys are hitting everything that that you know that i was so you just feel the need to speak right i do no actually for the sake of the audience i want to drive you to answer this question very specifically so you talked about how well andy said that there's a lot of guys out there that are going to think this book is

how to be a pussy, right? But what strikes me about- If you steal my question, I'm going to cut your fucking head off. I won't. But what strikes me about you, Lewis, is that you've dealt with this, you've embraced this vulnerability, and yet nobody in their right mind is going to say that you became less competitive. So my question is, how has embracing your vulnerability actually liberated you to be more competitive? You know, it makes me free. The word that always comes to me is freedom. I feel freedom, even though, listen, I'm not perfect. And I wear these masks still, there's still some that are hard to let go of, but I'm aware of them when they happen. I'll give an example. Yesterday, trying to get here, I literally, I left my wallet

at home, which I've never done. And so I got to the airport and I realized I didn't have my ID. And I had to get through security, like a whole nother back around way and answer all these questions. They pretty much like strip you down naked and like touch you everywhere. It makes you don't have anything. And I missed my flight. They closed the door by two minutes and the TSA is taking forever to get me through.

And I'm like, guys, I got to get to the gate. They're going to close the door. They're like, no, you're fine. Like you got enough time. And I was like, you're wrong. But okay, I'm just going to, you know, go through the process. I get there.

No one's helpful for me with the customer support. I see the plane. It hasn't left yet. I'm like, just open the door. Let me through. No one will help me. I wanted to punch a wall because I was like, now I've got to take an overnight flight to get to St. Louis. I'm pissed at myself for forgetting my wallet.

I'm pissed at TSA. I'm like, I want to rage right now. And I'm literally like, how fitting is this that, you know, I get to practice what I preach. Well, I get to practice what I'm preaching and not yell at this person that I want to fucking rage at, not punch the wall, kick a trash can over. I was like literally looking at a trash can like,

I'm going to break this thing in half. Bro, you got the same fire I got. You know what I mean? I was like, these people are not helping me yeah and i just had to breathe in your head like dude how stupid is this so dumb and i was like every part of this process i was like yes i get to take responsibility that i didn't have my id but this could have not happened also through their lack of time management when i was there and i go you know what there's nothing i can do in this situation.

Getting angrier and making a scene is not going to help me. It's only going to hurt me. So I just breathed and I said, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. And, you know, again, I wear these masks. Dude, how much happier does that make you? It's so much better. I mean, the rage of like punching something

is going to feel good for a moment. And then you're like, why? I feel like we might not be in the exact same spot in this way, but I feel like we've both gone through this process. Yes. And dude, I used to be the exact same way. I would freak the fuck out over shit that was- And you'd just like, ugh, and pump it up and scream.

Yes, over stupid shit. Stupid shit. And now it's like, I literally take pride in letting nothing shake me. That's good. You know what I mean? You were just mentioning this about Martin Luther King. What was the quote you said? The quote is, I will hate no man, for I will give no man that power over me.

That's right. That's powerful. Yes. But you have to identify and be aware that you're doing that. Absolutely. Because it will test every, if you're a competitive fiery dude, it will test every fiber of your being. That's why you need to be aware of what the masks are first now what's the question you're getting to so i can make sure i got well the question specifically was and you answered it to some extent if i'm no is is how

how is embracing vulnerability actually freed you or liberated you to be even more competitive free i have a follow-up yes for that it's giving me freedom uh which inner peace in my mind is the most powerful thing we can have because if we are constantly in anger rage disconnection resentment whatever it is then we are constantly giving our power away to something else and that is going to hold us back from making the most money we want to make making the impact you're spending unnecessary energy on things that don't matter don't matter right it's holding you back from your vision of living the life we want to make, making the impact, building the brand. Dude, you're spending unnecessary energy on things that don't matter. Yes, that don't matter. Right.

It's holding you back from your vision of living the life you want to live by reacting to everything else in the world. That's right. So for me, it's giving me the sense of, and listen, I was a fun, loving guy beforehand. I had a lot of passion, joy, but when something triggered those masks, it took over. And it took me days or weeks to get back back to that fun loving guy and i was always conflicted i was like why am i angry like why do i allow this why am i resentful or defensive or why haven't i forgiven that person or myself i just didn't know how to and uh it's been a four year journey of like learning these things because you don't teach this in school no and nobody your

parents don't teach this to you talks about it especially when they tell you to just be a man and don't cry and honestly bro until until you and i had started talking about it i think a lot of people that are very aware like you and i are both i would say at 100 awareness yeah we we go through the evolution naturally um if you hadn't pointed it out to me like a year ago when we talked about it, I don't know that I would have identified the actual transition. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, of course. Like I wouldn't have thought about it and said,

oh, I went through this major transition. I used to be this way and now I'm this way. I just thought like I grew up. Right. But the reality of it is – There's some men that never grow up. Exactly, and that's what I want to talk about. You've got to have the awareness.

So we have two kinds of men. We have the guys – and we have two kinds of men. We have the guys, and I feel like when you have all these coaches out there that are teaching other dudes to be men, which is, to me, it's not my cup of tea, whatever. I'm not going to knock anybody's hustle. I feel like you have a lot of guys who feel, this is hard to explain, but when we grow up your mom tell like your mom tells you oh you need to be sensitive and you need to have a big heart you needed this and that

and then you go to like school and and then you start you're like that and then all of a sudden you're getting picked on right yeah so then you go back in your shell and you become the opposite of that and then most people never evolved from. Then you have a girlfriend that tells you to be sensitive as well or open up or show emotion. But then when you do, they're like, I need you to be strong for me right now. So you're like, what do you want me to do? You want me to be strong?

You want me to, you know. So that's exactly what I want to talk about. I'll treat you like a dick if you want me to. No, exactly. It's not, if girls don't want to be treated like a dick, they want to be challenged. It's totally different. The reason girls date guys who are dicks is because they are a natural challenge to them. But most guys can't make that differentiation.

No. They think, you hear it all the time, girls never want the nice guy. No, they want a nice guy. They want a guy that respects them. But they also want a guy that's going to stand up for himself and not be a bitch. Yeah. And challenge them when necessary. Okay a guy that's going to stand up for himself and not be a yeah and and challenge them when necessary okay and that's what i want actually that's exactly what i wanted to get into because i think looking at you know the the the word masculinity and and

insinuating that it's you know a mask that people wear There's a lot of dudes that are going to think, well, I don't want to read that book because I'm going to turn into a soppy, cry baby. That's not what this is about, okay? It has multiple benefits in business. Like we said, trust, engagement, you know, freedom to make the right choices, freedom to have the confidence to not react emotionally.

But in relationships, there's a fine line between being a man and then being the fake man. Exactly. Right? And then, so, and I know what I would say to this, but you wrote the book, so I want to hear your take. Sure.

What would you say to somebody who's struggling with that? They don't know where the boundaries are. Well, here's the thing. These masks are things that men wear to, one, fit in, and to, two, create something to develop more self-worth in themselves. So, for example, this would be something to talk about here. There's one that's called the material mask. There's one that's called the sexual mask. There's one that's called the athlete mask.

There's all these different names for these masks that are backed by psychologists who have backed this with research to support this with me. I've done a lot of work with psychologists on this. And I'll give an example. When I was broke on my sister's couch, I said, I'm sick and tired of being broke. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get rich. I'm going to focus on this. I'm going to find rich mentors. I'm going to read every book. I'm going to do anything I can to not be broke anymore. So I put on the material mask and I said,

I need to make as much money as I can so I can have the nice things and get off this couch. I need to make as much money as I can so I can have the nice things and get off this couch. And it worked. I got rich. Right. But here's the thing. Here's the consequence. I gained 60 pounds.

I didn't have any relationships. And I was constantly talking about the money I was making to create self-worth for myself. Right. To attract like love from other people as opposed to dude yeah i can go make a ton of money but show it as an inspiration not as a exactly i'm here look at me look at me and all this stuff like and this is a great example for you because i know you have a lot of money and you have nice things and there's nothing wrong with that it's when the guys who are constantly talking about their nice things to make themselves look good and develop self-worth you're never going to have enough self-worth you'll never have enough you'll never have enough right and you constantly need a bigger thing to feel worthy

of and it'll last for literally five minutes exactly and so this is adult again it's a challenge because these things when we wear them they work we get results right but there's also something that's missing right which is this feeling of like what if all these cars and money went away would people still love you exactly or are they there because you have it right so if you have nothing in your heart that shows people like you care you're here to lift others up it's just me me me again the same thing with sexual the sexual mask when i you know was heartbroken when a girl broke up with me, I was like, I'm never again going to let a girl hurt me like this. So I'm going to go have every woman desire me.

I'm going to learn all the skills I need to so that women want me. I'm going to sleep with as many women as I can and then never commit to them. And it worked. I got women to desire me and want me and want to date me and be in a relationship with me. And I continued to be able to sleep with as many as I wanted to. Essentially, it became like easier and easier. I was like, wow, this is amazing. I was getting results.

But I felt so empty. And from the outside, most dudes would be like, you're the man. You're the man. But I was like, man, why am I so lonely? Why am I so why? Like, none of these girls mean anything. Why do I feel like so shitty why do I feel like you know you're not doing the right thing exactly and it was never

enough right I was never there was not as many girls that could bring me self-worth right and that's what this is all about is like how do we discover how to live a purposeful life so that we can make the most money and make the most impact and feel worthy. Right. And guys don't take this as, you know, out of context. And Lewis is not saying it's not a good thing to have a lot of money. I'm not saying it's not a good thing. I want all the money to be attracted to women or know how to attract women. You know, like those are all good things, but you have to utilize them for the right reasons. Exactly. Exactly i i think you know you with guys you have one of two extremes like we have in most situations in life we have extremes if you go to politics we have the right side and we have the left side if you go to you know the country you've got the

north and the south right you know everything you're going to be able to find a natural 50 divide yep and with men we have it the same way we have dudes that are they that are overly what they think is masculine and then we have dudes who are women and you know what i'm saying and i'm and i'm not you know for the women that listen i'm saying that with traditional uh stereotypical. Like women are typically more emotional and more sharing and more this or more feminine. So we have men who are very, quote unquote, masculine. And then we have men who act like women and think that that's what's going to attract women because that's what their moms told them. And you know what's funny is neither one of them work.

You know what I mean? They're both fake. Right. Because you're not being who you truly are. And that's what it comes down to is taking off the mask and revealing who you are and being that,

being comfortable in your own skin. Well, dude, just like we talked about creating trust with your followers or your business or your personal brand through sharing your humanity, how do you create wonderful friendships?

How do you create amazing relationships with romantic relationships? You do that by being who the fuck you are. This is so true. I mean, the key to success, I'm sure you would agree with this, the key to success in your life has been the relationships in your life.

No question. And the key to successful relationships at the highest level is vulnerability, is being who you are, is revealing yourself. And you shouldn't be embarrassed about that. You shouldn't be embarrassed. Right.

Like, I literally, I don't know that there's anything I could truly get embarrassed about. Because A. Because you're comfortable in yourself. Dude, and I live, I know who I am. I live what I think is a correct, a morally correct life. You know what I mean? I don't do things that I don't think are right. And for that reason, when I, you know, when I think about, when I reflect on myself,

you know, that, that gives me confidence in, in who I am, makes me feel good. It gives me, it gives me the ability to connect with other people. And, and like, dude, if they were to say, you know, like, I mean, even like stupid, like, hey, I shit my pants today. It's like, hey, bro, you know what? I've done that before. You know, like stuff that would be totally embarrassing. Like, you just got to learn to laugh at it and understand that, you know, everybody's gone through these weird things that you go through as being a human being. Exactly. And when you share those things and you're real with people without feeling like it's

going to damage you, you become somebody who other people will naturally connect with and follow because they emulate to have that same sort of freedom. Right, right. And I wanted to, I know you had another question. I didn't want to cut you off. No, you guys are just reading my mind. Okay. You pretty much answered everything.

Okay. My follow up question. I want to respect your. I mean, yes and no i'll just i'll just state it you can add whatever layer you want to it is that you know i'm for i'm in fourth grade i'm in church i'm getting tired my eyes closed my mom you know elbows me and she says quit falling asleep and i say oh i'm praying mom so from the outside two completely different things. From the outside, two completely different things can look the same. And so you talked at the beginning about how you were driven by this rage,

like playing that basketball game. Andy's talked about how we want this competitive edge. We want this competitive edge. We want that. So my question for both of you guys- But if it's at the detriment of hurting someone else, that's not good.

Right, because you know there's going to be asterisk holes that are going, well, wait a minute. No. So my question is, just flesh it out a little bit more for the audiences.

How do you know the difference between when you are being driven by the wrong kind of rage and when you're being driven by the right kind? It's like a UFC fighter who is fighting for his life and is fighting for his mission to be the best. And after he pummels the guy in the face

and breaks his arm and he taps out, he embraces him and he says, I love you. Respect, right. He says, I love you. You're a champion. You're a warrior. I'm so glad we can connect now in another way. As opposed to, that's right, motherfucker.

You suck. That doesn't feel good. No. And you know what? You'll always regret that. Yeah. You know, I'm on very, in my business life, my actual businesses, I'm on very good terms with most people that compete with us.

Because I believe, believe a in abundance, but, but B I've learned through experience that that will only drive you insane. Yeah. And people think it's weird. Like they're like, dude, how come you're nice to that guy?

How come you, how come you treat that guy? Cool. He's like competitors with you. I'm like, maybe that guy, you know, that guy's in a place I was five years ago and I know what that's like,

or he's in a place that I want to be in five years. And there's things you can learn from everybody and there's ways to get everybody to play together. It's abundant. Yeah. And you also want to have a good reputation with your competitors because what if you merge one day? What if you want to partner one day?

It happens all the time. What if you want to defer? It happens all the time. That's why I get so annoyed with small business owners who think that their marketing strategy revolves around talking shit no that's the worst most worthless thing that you can do and it creates a total distrust with every one of your customers that's another story but to answer that question i want to answer that question so i think that there is tremendous and i've said this and we've done whole podcasts about this. I always say negativity is extremely underrated.

Because, dude, if you look, let's be honest. If you look at how you market yourself and how I market yourself, and people didn't know us, didn't listen to anything except go to our Instagram, they are literally polar opposites. You're all about love. You're all about being a positive guy. And I'm all like all like dude harness that negative shit and shove it down everybody's throat and dude but i think that and you've said it just

here in this podcast you have both sides to you and i have both sides yeah it's just choosing the direction we want to go and i think that there is like i said tremendous power and negativity and when you're young and when you're hungry and you don't understand or haven't gone through the process of truly finding a purpose those things can be very powerful energy to project you ahead absolutely and there's nothing wrong with that iille's powerful fuel you'll ever have no question but if at the end of the day after years something's hurting you inside still exactly and that's all you have it's time to shift it or learn how to balance that's right and you my natural progression my short answer is you need both my natural progression

has been for most of the time until I was about 33 years old. I'm 38 now. So about five years ago, it was 100%. I want everybody. I'm going to destroy everybody. Yeah. Yeah. And people resonate with that message because they know what that's like. They feel it.

They've been hurt. They've been told that there's piece of shit. They've been called fat. They've been told they're crazy. We all go through that. And so if you're going to have that energy in your life, you may as well use it. That's my point. But, and we both agree on this, there will come a time where you will get to a point of progress

and you will look back and say, man, I've made all this progress. It just doesn't, I don't feel like I have. I feel like it's, it doesn't feel like I thought it it would feel and that's where the transition will start to happen you said something earlier that is probably the most profound thing of this whole conversation to bring it to to wrap up is that the ultimate alpha man is the man who supports others and it lives in service right and for me that's kind of what I've found throughout this research is that the ultimate man or definition of masculinity is living in service right and you can't be negative and use anger and this like negative fire to fuel living in or to live in service right like it can fuel you to get there but you got to eventually shift to

be like you know what the ultimate alpha man is like not the one who needs to fight it's the one who can diffuse any situation because he can see everything clearly. Dude, you're setting an example for other men. That's what alpha male is about. It's about being the dominant male, but the way you become the dominant male, which is counterintuitive to what everybody says, is by being the guy who lets everyone else know that they're just like you. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And, dude, we get bombarded by people who think alpha male means beard, muscles. Aggressive, yeah. Yeah, like, honestly, like, if you looked at my page, like, I fit the stereotypical dude. Yeah. Like, if you didn't, yeah, big truck, you know, guns, all the shit. I just happen to like that shit. But that doesn't make me a man.

You know what I mean? And I got tattoos, like all the stereotypical shit. I'm like the embodiment of that. And the funny thing is, is that people who are from the outside that will follow me, who have never listened to me talk, have never listened to me speak, have never read any of the shit I've written, they would think that guy is like, he's trying to be a tough guy And the truth is is that the reason that most of the people follow me has nothing to do with yeah

Yeah, it has to do with the fact and this is kind of cool, too Is that I might set that expectation? I can't tell you how many people email me and they say dude. You're nothing like I first thought you were yeah Yeah, and like that's like the ultimate compliment to me because i get what they're saying and what what they're saying is is that they perceive me in that that light and then figured out that there's so much more to yeah that's the thing i love about you and is you know even over our texts over the years and just every time i see you in person it's like you're so real and you you share like your struggles with me like man to man man, you're like, you know, things are great,

but I'm also like working on this and it's like challenging. Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, exactly. And that's what it's like. It makes you so much more relatable and I appreciate that about you and our friendship. Well, likewise, bro. I mean, that's why I think you and I connect so good. Yeah, exactly.

And people, you know, I think it comes down to, man, and this is going to be an awesome book for anybody to read, man or woman, because I feel like maybe you and I have gone through this process organically, but not everybody does. Right. They get stuck. Like I said, you know, their parents tell them, especially their moms, that we're talking about men now, you know, hey, you know, do this and have a big heart and care about people and do the right thing. And you go to school and you get shoved in a locker because they're like you're a pussy you know what i mean so you got to toughen up yes you toughen up and then you stay in that state your whole entire life and and that's where a lot of guys get stuck yeah and it's a shame because there i recognize that i know

you do too like you recognize it immediately like when i see a dude who's like trying to be that dude and I could see right through it. Yeah. And it sucks because I feel sorry for them because I know that they're never going to be able to truly understand. Let me say this. The chances of them ever truly understanding how to really be what they want to be is very slim because they're not willing to let people see who they are. Unless they get a wake up call. Unless they have something in their life where it's a near-death experience where there's a something a breakup a breakdown breakthrough for them to be like a catalyst to be aware right that's what happened to me i got in this fight i was going through a

traumatic breakup and i was like something's not working i need to figure this out so after two years of working with andy i would if somebody me, I would say all of the negative energy, all of the fire, all of the, all of the stuff you see Andy putting out is, is a competitive spirit, ultimately motivated by a commitment to excellence. What it seems like in your life, you discovered was how to rid yourself of the same negative energy and motivation, but one that was not rooted in excellence. It was rooted in insecurity. Yeah, it was.

That's my take. Definitely. That's why you feel sorry for those people, too, because you know that they're so unhappy on the inside. They're angry. Yeah. It's not even it's not even a happy. It's pure anger.

Something happened to those people. They got made fun of. They got dumped. They got you know, they went through a traumatic experience like you talked about. Yeah, and he's like, it's never going to happen again. They went through this crazy shit, and they're just, they're angry. And like, dude, they're afraid to let people know what it is. And the truth of it is, is if they let people know and they came out, it would inspire people to follow them.

You know, know dude share your story share the things that hurt you those are the things that make people relate to you and that's what builds a brand that's it you know and it's not just about business but you know my brand and your brand this is who we are 24 hours a day yeah like it's funny because people like people will say to emily they're like well is he like that at home? Well, I might not be yelling and screaming and shit, but I'm pretty like- You're passionate. Yeah, I'm a passionate dude. I'm just intense by nature.

But I'm not like, hey, those cookies were nine out of 10. You need to do 10 out of 10. That's not how it works, man. I'm just happy to get some cookies you know but uh but you know I think also to sit to your point Vaughn you know for our mission here which has always been to reverse the idea that everybody wins everybody's special everybody's a delicate flower that's been our mission so delivering a tough message that says hey man look we know it's tough i've been through this shit you know what you got to pull your boots back on you got to get back out in the game yeah

that's the message here yeah all right it has nothing to do with you know being this tough guy it's about being mentally tough that's it you know and one of the ways that you get the most mentally tough is by being comfortable and confident with who you are and one of the ways that you get the most mentally tough is by being comfortable and confident with who you are and one of the ways you do that is by sharing with other people who you are and most people just never go through that process they never and dude i'm so glad you wrote this book because there's really nothing like it like there's nothing there's not a manual out there for somebody to read you know like if you if you were to and this is the ironic thing about this book anybody else were to write this book it would be called how to

be a real man right you know what i'm saying exactly with the same shit on the inside yeah right but it says the mask of masculinity and it's i just dude i love that about what you're doing because it oh you got steve weatherford on here that dude's a stud he is if you had called it that you would not get probably the female readers that you were talking about earlier that's why so many so many women are like right when I show them this or say the title they're like thank you they're like yes they're like oh my god it's so needed right now and you and I and and we dude we're you know a lot of the same girls i know like dude high profile high celebrity type girls and they all you know like i've talked to these girls i'm friends with them and you should

hear the shit they say about dudes like guys you're embarrassing yourselves out there by like trying to be this dude like this is something that everybody needs to read. Yeah, thank you, man. You know what I mean? Appreciate it. And I just think it's cool you're bringing awareness to a situation that can bring so many results in different ways to people's lives, their business life, their relationship, how angry you are at the world. Like, these guys are like, I fucking hate everybody in the world.

Well, dude, it's not that. It's that you're mad about something that's going on inside and what you're doing with the shit that's given to you and fed to you with the world well dude it's not that it's that you're you're mad about something that's going on inside yeah and what what you're doing with the shit that's given to you and fed to you with the world is just turning that into that and spitting it back out that's it man you know it's perfect timing for this too oh with all that social unrest for sure there's just so much political stuff there's so i mean these killings that are just like racial stuff i'm just like what is happening in our world man but dude and people are like people are like why are all these people going crazy well let's be real let's let's be real for a second if you're on social media if you're specifically facebook and you

spend any amount i literally i've cut my facebook time down to zero that's good like i'll post and then i go away that's great because you get depressed if you're on that's terrible and it makes it it has made a huge difference in my personal happiness as weird as it sounds to give zero time to that negative that's correct yeah yeah and uh but you know instagram's a lot more positive yeah um you can choose who you're following yes it's just way more positive you know and uh i've i've but let's be real dude we're so the media facebook social media peers peers all this shit is being dumped on us and none of it is positive none of it and and when you have internal negative energy that's that's spewing and turning and turning yes to these things yes they're right

yeah it's like dude what's going to get more likes on Facebook? God, the world is a beautiful place, and I'm so happy today. Like, dude, I wrote a – and I did this as a social experiment. I wrote a status two – I don't know, a week ago that said, tell me something – the best thing that happened to you this week. It was on a Friday. You know, it was the lowest like status I've had in, like, two years. I had literally 1,000 comments or some shit, like 300 likes. If I were to post, am I the only one that gets pissed off when people don't put their

fucking shopping carts back? What kind of piece of shit doesn't put the shopping carts back? I would have 10,000 fucking likes on that. You know what I'm saying? Like, dude, people vibe with the frustrations and they don't vibe nearly enough with the good shit yeah which is why most people are unhappy they're not taking the time to be grateful for what they have they're taking all their time all of it and spending it looking at other people who have this fake image and saying man i wish i was more like that more

like what all you got to do is fake it. You know what I'm saying? You could be that today. Like, they're all lying. Like, the people you look up to, the people that you're saying that and putting yourself in a negative spot, they're all full of shit. It takes way less energy to be positive than it does to be negative. Would you agree?

You know. At least the same. Dude, I just don't think i i think people are so accustomed to like rallying around yeah the negativity you know that's why if you post something political you'll get a thousand comments but you know if you post something like hey tell me the best thing that happened this week you know nobody cares about that yeah which is funny because like dude i read the comments and they were awesome like the comments made me feel good you know it was it's just i just consciously i'm working on putting my energy

into places that i'm gonna get good feedback that's good you know what i mean yeah and not on negative because i preach that right like don't let the negativity bother you but sometimes it bothers you without you being aware that it's bothering you you know what i'm saying absolutely absolutely like dude it's energy it's not something you control like if you're if you have people or situations or habits in your life that are putting negative energy into you don't think that you're going to be able to somehow put up your negative energy shield and still tolerate it right like it's still going to affect you you know and that's been a big big thing i don't know how we got on this tangent, but, uh, this is great. Well, you know, uh, you always ask at the end of one of your, uh, one of your, uh, podcasts, what's your definition of greatness?

Uh, what's your definition of our greatness? I'm, I'm being stupid of our great. No, actually what I was going to ask of my greatness. No, no no actually i did want to ask you because i've i don't know that i've ever heard you summarize it this is a success of motivation podcast yeah what's your definition of success i think everyone gets to define success for themselves and that's why for me i talk i use the word greatness because i think it's different for everyone. It's not like success is usually about achievement. I think greatness is about more of a feeling. It's a feeling of knowing that you're on the right path. So my definition of greatness is discovering the unique gifts and talents within you to pursue your dreams. And in that pursuit, making the maximum impact you can on people

around you. And for me, that's what I feel like greatness is. You've given some thought to this. I have. People ask me many times. Yeah, yeah. I think success and greatness can be similar. It all depends on how you want to define it yourself. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's definitely, it's a touchy subject for people because especially like when you take a stance on it, like if you have a podcast, say this is what I think it is, realize that what you said is the truth. It doesn't matter what I think it is. It's what you think it is. And I had somebody on social last night because I posted a video that said there's not much nobility in being broke and insignificant. And that's not, I could have used better words.

What I really mean when I say that is this. There's no nobility in unfulfilling your own potential. Absolutely. And every single person, and I say that, comment the way I said it, because every single person that has a cell phone has the ability to not be broke. Okay? So that's where that's coming from.

But the point is that that i i personally think that success is greatness and success are two different things and i think success you know as i say is the pursuit of fulfillment of one's true potential and that's how i define it because it's gonna be different for everybody yeah you were born under different circumstances i was born we all start at different places so you cannot identify success as money or car or this or that and if you do you're you're going to be very unfulfilled at the end of the day yeah it's about the process and you know that sounds corny when you're 19 years old it's about the journey because you haven't been on if they want to make money right now yeah but i wouldn't trade my journey for

any amount of money yeah you know what i mean I mean? And greatness, you know, I think the definition you gave of greatness is perfect. Like, I love that. Like, you know, there's lots of people who are successful that aren't great. You know? Yeah. So I think it's a good call. Yeah. You know, there's lots of people that make lots of money that make zero impact on other

people. It's true. You know, I have zero fulfillment. Yeah. I'm following their dreams that aren't yeah right it's totally possible now i always try to tell people like hey look you know the way you make the most money is by is by creating the most value and i feel like that's true but that's also a new truth because of the way media is now conducted with social media and feedback and all that there's lots of people out there

that have billions of dollars that made them 30, 40 years ago that didn't do anything to really fulfill people. Trading stocks or something like that. So if you can have both, that's a pretty good thing. Yeah, exactly. And there's nothing wrong with both. Nothing wrong with it. Yeah.

You know, when we talk about, like when you talk about the mask of material. It's your own mask, yep. You know, people hear that sometimes and they, they think, well, it's not, well,

is it not a good thing for me to have material goals? No, it's a great, I'm all for it. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great thing, but it's a bad thing when you make it the focus of who the you are.

Yeah. It's your identity. Exactly. And that's, that's something that, well, a lot of people do, you know,

they like, I see this on instagram a lot dude with some pretty wealthy business guys their whole their whole brand is like promoting high-end shit like they're they're you know a hundred thousand dollar ap or their their rolls royce you know their five rolls royces or this or that. And it's like, dude, we get it. We get it. We get it. You got some money and you think you have taste.

I get it. But how about we talk about how the fuck you got there? How do we talk about the struggles you went through? How about we talk about this or that? And if they did that, their fan base, their following, and their fulfillment would all go up. It's just a hard thing for people to – it's a hard thing for people to grasp because it's counterintuitive. Society says we have to be this guy, the big muscle guy, the tough guy,

the puffy guy with the beard and wearing a lumberjack coat. You know what I'm saying? But the truth of it is that has nothing to do with it. That's just bullshit. I agree. So I think it's really cool that you took the opportunity and that you're using your platform, you know, being a New York Times bestseller and your social platform and all the following that you have.

Because you literally could have wrote 50 other business books. A lot, yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's what my agent and my publisher wanted me to do and I was just like, I'm not feeling it. But this is a legacy book. Yeah. That's how I see it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?'s what my agent and my publisher wanted me to do and i was just like i'm not feeling it but this this is a legacy book yeah that's how i see it yeah you know i'm saying this hasn't been written before yeah and i think it's awesome that you did that thank you thank you so uh it's a short read right yeah quick yeah so i mean dude where are they

gonna where you want to buy it on amazon you can get an amazon mask of masculinity.com you can get it you know all the links are there for Barnes & Noble and Amazon, but wherever. Barnes & Noble, Amazon, wherever you want to. Yeah, plug it up, bro. Maskofmasculinity.com. Yeah, yeah. So, guys, first of all, Louis, thank you, man. It's always good to see you.

This was a fun conversation. Yeah, dude, I love the conversation. I always love our conversations. We just love our conversations. You're lucky enough and I'm lucky enough to have amazing contacts and relationships and guests and things like that and talk to you. But I will say, having you on the show is one of my favorite times because we do have real conversations. This is the shit we'd be talking about if these weren't here. If the microphones weren't here, we'd be having this discussion.

For hours. Right. Yeah, yeah. And that's what I appreciate about you, bro. I appreciate it, man. We'd be having this discussion. For hours. Right. Yeah, yeah. And that's what I appreciate about you, bro. I appreciate it, man. So thank you for stopping by. Thanks, man. Drinking gluten-free beer, right? Huh?

Drinking gluten-free beer. Yeah. Well, Lewis doesn't drink. I don't drink. Oh, that's right. You don't drink. You drink gluten-free beer. But I'm pretty sure he'd be happy to sit here while we drank,

and then he could make fun of us. Yeah, he could. So I appreciate you guys. Thank you very much man of course man there you have it guys I hope you enjoyed this one let me know what you thought for me this was a powerful one just because Andy and I uh you know come from a similar place you know we're both from the midwest we both experience different things as men growing up, feeling like we had to project and portray this different type of masculinity. And in some ways, it helped us.

And in other ways, we've learned that there's a better way of going about life. So I'd love for you to share this out with your friends. Again, lewishouse.com slash 553. Tag me on Instagram and Twitter at Lewis Howes. And let me know what you thought. The full show notes is back on the website as well at lewishowes.com slash 553. Get pumped. Get ready.

The game is about to change. I love you guys and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. Outro Music Come on.